The first thing Youji had done upon leaving the warehouse was to find a public bathhouse so that he could scrub himself clean again. He spent a long time there, washing and scrubbing at his body until his skin felt like a prune. It did nothing to cleanse him of the guilt he carried, but it felt more through than the shower in removing any lingering physical reminder of the previous night. Then he took a walk through the busy streets of Kyoto, finally ending up at a quiet contemplation glade near a temple in the late afternoon.

He remembered that one time when Aya was driving, he had stopped their trailer van outside the gates for a short while and made mention of the peaceful gardens within. Now that he was standing there, he understood what Aya had been trying to say to them in his round about way. It was a good place to go to think and gather one's thoughts when troubled. And now that he had time to reflect on his actions, Youji did realise that running away had been a dumb thing to do.

For one, Schuldich's presence told them without a doubt that Schwarz had survived the sinking of the island at their last confrontation. Why they were in Kyoto too, couldn't be determined as yet, but at that moment, Youji was clearly vulnerable to an attack by them; Though being attacked didn't trouble him as much as the thought of Schuldich again seizing control of him and sending him back to hurt his friends.

"I will kill myself first." /But what if you don't have a chance to?/ A tiny voice spoke up in his mind. /You certainly didn't have a choice last night./ The memory of the tearstained face with shattered lavender eyes haunted him again. "How, damn it? What did Schuldich do to me?"

"Tsk, tsk. Talk about ungrateful. What are you so upset about? I thought you enjoyed it."

Youji swung around in the direction of the voice to see the smirking German leaning against a tree.

"What? You haven't got the guts to admit it?"

The smirking grin set Youji's blood boiling. He pulled out a length of wire in readiness as he faced the Schwarz redhead, thankful for the foresight that made him bring his watch with him. "I don't remember any of it. *You* controlled me!"

"Perhaps, but you wanted me to."

"What?!"

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you've never thought about it before." Schuldich rolled his eyes as he pushed himself away from the tree and stalked closer. "I can read your mind, Yo-tan. Didn't we fulfil your every desire last night?"

"I've never-- !"

"No?" Schuldich suddenly disappeared from before him and reappeared behind him, forcing Youji to swing around abruptly. "Wasn't it what started all your nightmares? These last few months... You forgot-- what's her name-- Asuka."

Youji stiffened at the mentioned name and sent his wires flashing out at the redhead. "Don't you dare bring her memor-- "

"Held her so close to your heart for over two years and yet you forgot her. And replace her?" Schuldich easily evaded the wires and leaped over to another part of the garden.

"What the hell-- ?"

"Little Sakura-chan was admittedly difficult to control, Yo-tan. Yet, you were so easily to manipulate. Tell me, how long have you been hiding your feelings?"

Youji send his wires flying out again. Refusing to answer or play the German's game. Schuldich laughed and suddenly appeared right behind Youji to grab an arm and twist it behind his back. Youji growled and made to escape the hold when he abruptly realised that he couldn't move.

"Yes, little kitty, you are so much easier to control." Schuldich forced him down on his knees. "Sakura-chan had no wish at all to hurt her dear Aya-san. But you? You did want so much to f@$k the so tasty Ran Fujimiya."

"What?!"

"Denial is such a sad state." Schuldich whispered into Youji's ear, letting his breath stir at the locks of hair which hung at the side of his head. "Don't you even know how much you like having him near you? Do you ever admit how much his presence gives you comfort?"

"He is my friend!" Youji couldn't withhold the shiver that Schuldich was evoking with his breath against his face. He struggled to move, but his body refused to obey the shrieking commands of his mind. He realised Schuldich had him again.

"And you've never ever wondered or wished that it could be more?" The redhead released him and strode around to stand in front of the kneeling man. Schuldich gripped Youji's chin and forced him to look into his eyes. "Liar.

"You can't lie to a telepath, Yo-tan. You want to know the source of your nightmares? What drew me to you like a moth to a flame?" Schuldich whispered to him. "Guilt. And of course, an opportunity to share one Ran Fujimiya."

"Bastard."

"It didn't take very much, Yo-tan. I'm surprised you remembered so little of it." Youji trembled as Schuldich picked up a length of wire and pulled it between his fingers in front of him. #You've always wanted to do this, haven't you? You were *so* tempted that first time when you had him in your bed, only it was much too early to make your moves on him, wasn't it? Didn't you feel the passage of years so agonising long, with little chance to explore that idea?#

Youji flushed with that memory of when Aya had first joined Weiß. But he swore to himself that he *hadn't* had any intentions towards him. He was only teasing the reticent man about the bed when he woke up. It was true that he had on occasion just watched Aya to admire the lines of his body, but he valued Aya as a friend. It had never crossed his mind to consider him as a potential lover. "You have that wrong, Schuldich. I've never-- "

#Really?# Little flashes of memory started to appear in his mind together with Schuldich's voice. #Just a few nudges, that's all it took and you had Fujimiya neatly trussed up in your wires before he had time to register your attack.# Shadowed images of the struggle in their sleeping quarters appeared in his mind along with Aya's voice.

//"Youji! What the hell? Let me go!"//

#You can't remember how pissed off he was with you, thinking that you were playing?#

//"Youji, stop it! What are you doing? This isn't funny. Youji?" Flashing lavender eyes bored into him, their expression changing from anger to apprehension when the owner found himself pushed back onto the bed.//

#His fear when he realised something was really wrong?#

//"Youji? Youji, let me go. What's wrong with you? Youji?! Say something to me! Youji!"//

"It wasn't me! I wasn't in control!" Youji struggled valiantly to get his body to move as Schuldich knelt down in front of him.

#So you'd rather blame me?#

"I wouldn't-- "

#You started it.# A finger reached out to stroke teasingly over his lips. #I certainly wasn't the one who suggested gagging him. I would much rather have heard him scream.#

//"Youji, why are you doing this?! Youj-- mmmpth!"//

#You were positively vicious with his clothes.# The nasty smirk in the mental voice drew a shudder from the helpless man as another mental image was shoved at him. Of lavender eyes staring at him in fear and confusion as the knife flashed between the wires, slicing at the orange sweater and later at the blue pants. #You had him scared for a moment that you'd use the knife on him. Then shocked when your true intentions became clear. He was much too uptight, wasn't he? So hard to work up into the mood.#

Another mental image, this time of his hands and lips, teasing and roving over pale skin as Aya squirmed under him. Youji shook his head. The images were detached to him; He felt no part of the action in him. Instead, he felt like a voyeur watching from the sidelines as a stranger molested his friend.

#So you gave up and decided to satisfy yourself first?

#He gave out quite a lovely little shriek when you took him so forcefully. You didn't even deign to prepare him for that rude intrusion. I thought it was such a waste that only I could hear it, and the thoughts that went with it. The poor little kitten was so confused and betrayed. But I had to end that little-- misunderstanding, I certainly couldn't let you have all the fun.# Schuldich chuckled at the memory. #Smart lad. Understood immediately what was going on when he saw me. There was such hope in his eyes that you'd come to your senses when I appeared. Unfortunately, I'd already disengaged that part of your mind. You don't know how long I've been waiting for a chance like this.#

The bottom fell out of Youji's world. Suddenly, he was transported into a different realm filled with the full array of the five senses. He was no longer in the meditation glades but back in the warehouse loft; Back in the little room with a bound and gagged Aya lying helpless between him and Schuldich.

He could feel his sex surrounded in the tight heat of his friend... Could feel the trembling back pressed against his chest as his hands stroked over the binding lengths of wire to seek out hard pebbled nipples... Could taste the sweat and tears flowing down the helpless man's face as he stretched out a tongue to bath the pale cheeks... Could smell the sharp scent of blood and sex... Could see Schuldich's bright red hair as his head bobbed up and down from his position over Aya's lower body... Could hear the hiccuping drag of breath in Aya's throat as he tried to resist their attentions...

Just as abruptly, the memory image changed again and he and Schuldich had switched places. Aya now seated in Schuldich's lap, his back arched in pain and his head flung back against the German's shoulder as he panted soundlessly into the gag. Youji could feel his lips sucking on and exploring the sweet hollows of the exposed neck, working in concert with the other man as he nibbled and kissed along the arch of Aya's shoulder. He could feel the texture of smooth skin under one hand as he helped Schuldich steady the writhing figure between them, while the other closed around and stroked Aya's warm hard sex.

#Poor brave little kitten. Kept trying to empty his mind of any thought and prevent himself from dwelling on what we were doing to him. Refused to give me any satisfaction, he kept thinking... Such sweet tears. I didn't know he would really turn out to be such a crier in real life. He'd shed dream tears too, but not nearly as much-- #

"Bastard!" Youji tore himself away from the memories and found himself leaning over and retching on the grass of the glade, the blood pounding in his head.

A hand reached into his hair and yanked his face up again to look up at the German. "How could you not retain even a little bit of memory, Kudou? Fujimiya was such a tasty little morsel. We took him together again and again. You were a f$%king sex maniac."

"I don't remember anything!"

"A night of the best mind blowing sex I ever had, and it's a blank for you?" Schuldich shook his head sadly. "Beyond even my wildest dreams-- Ahh, Yo-tan, you don't know how frustrated I've been, trying to get anywhere with the kitten. He always managed to throw me out of his dreams before we got too far. But last night..." Schuldich sighed contentedly. "I *had* to take a little memento."

Youji stared at a familiar earring dangled between Schuldich's fingers.

"Of course I had contemplated just taking the kitten instead. It would have been so easy, you know? You were already far too gone in exhaustion, and he tied up too effectively to struggle. But I didn't feel up to lugging a piece of dead weight after me. Maybe next time." Schuldich twirled the earring between his fingers. "So, I just took this. I'm sure the kitten didn't mind. He didn't throw so much as a thought of protest at me when I removed it."

That did it. Something snapped within Youji at that point and he suddenly found himself able to move. Schuldich was caught off guard. Youji heard a satisfying crunch from his knuckles' contact, as his other hand reached out to snatch the earring from the suddenly slack hand. The German's speed, however, saved him from any further damage.

"Damn, yew booke mah nose." Schuldich's green eyes flashed in anger as he clutched at the injury. "'ow did yew b'ake 'oose?"

"I don't care about any thing but killing you!" The wires flashed out again.

The German man nimbly avoided the arcs of deadly intent. "D'ought we coo'd do id again, yew an' me." Youji tried not to let his uncertainty show as Schuldich drew his gun from the concealed holster. "Guess, id'll jusd be me an' der kidden nexd dime. Yer' noo fund.

"Or maybe I share 'im wid' Schwarz." Youji tensed as his opponent's finger started to tighten on the trigger.

A dart tore at Schuldich's hand knocking the gun away before he could fire. Schuldich and Youji looked up to see Ken and Omi standing at the gates to the glade with bugnuck and darts held ready, respectively.

"Should have brought backup, Schwarz." Ken's voice never sounded more welcomed to Youji's ears.

Schuldich growled as he nursed his injured hand. His eyes darted around him like a cornered rat as he took in the menace that practically rolled off the three Weiß members. But his expression of worry didn't stay too long as it quickly shifted to confidence.

Alerted, Youji caught a glint from another side of the glade. "KenOmigetdown!" He sent his wires flying, his accuracy spot on to deflect the thrown grenade towards the wall. The resulting explosion showered everyone with bits of plaster and rock as a wall in the garden was demolished.

"Schuldich!" Youji picked himself off the grass and swung around looking for the German. But he was already gone. "Damn!"

"Crawford?" Ken asked as he approached the cursing man.

"Pre-cogs." Youji growled as he straightened his clothes. "He must have interfered. Blasted German's probably too preciou-- Where's Aya? What are *both* of you doing here?"

Omi rolled his eyes. "He's with the trailer. Where else would he be?"

"You left him *alone*?!"

Ken's bare-knuckled fist smashed into Youji's face dumping the startled man on his butt. "Youji, I've about had it with you today!" Youji blinked up at him as he noted Ken's other hand holding the missing glove in his clenched fist.

"Aya sent us after you. After he had a chance to rest, he's *fine*. You didn't hurt him that badly. He is *not* an invalid because of what happened. He was caught off guard *only* because he thought he was with you and not some *mind controlled puppet*! Aya's *still* just as capable of defending himself before last night happened as he is *right now*! The worst thing we can do for him is to coddle him and make him feel that we think he's helpless!

"If you want to talk lame brain-- *You're* the one who ran off. What did you think that accomplished, huh? We haven't even figured out how Schuldich managed to get control over you and you ran! What if he screwed with your head again and sent you back after us, heh? And just *how* do you think Aya felt when he found you missing after what happened last night?" Ken lifted Youji back to his feet by the lapels of his shirt and stared straight into his eyes. "How do you think he would have felt-- if we didn't find you in time and Schuldich killed you?"

Youji felt his face colour, as he turned his face away, unable to meet Ken's eyes anymore. Ken let go of his shirt and started to tug on his arm instead. "Come on, we'd better get out of here before this place starts to swarm with police. I don't think they'll be very happy about the new hole in the wall."

Youji nodded almost timidly as he started to follow after the younger man. "Ken? How did you know where to find me?"

"Aya-kun suggested we might find you here." Omi volunteered.

"Aya?"

"We were looking for you for hours. How he guessed..."

"Well, we'd better get back. I doubt he'll be pleased that we left him to work the shop alone the whole day." Omi hurried them. Breaking into a run, the three Weiß members managed to slip away without being stopped.

The sun had already begun to set by the time the three men reached the warehouse where they had set up a temporary home. The mobile Koneko no Sumu Ie hadn't been where they had driven it to earlier in the day, so they guessed that Aya had already closed the shop and returned to base. Youji was grateful for Ken and Omi's company in their journey back. If it weren't for them, he was not sure if he could have mastered the courage to return. He certainly didn't know how he could even look Aya in the eye again, much less continue to live in such close quarters with him.

They tried to keep his mind preoccupied with their little tales of the places they'd gone when searching for him. Youji couldn't believe that they could so easily forgive him. Their words echoed in his mind again as they approached the warehouse.

//"Youji-kun, Aya-kun was the one who was hurt and he maintained that you weren't to blame."//

//"What happened... With Schuldich involved..." Ken shook his head. "It's not for us to judge or forgive, Youji. That's between the two of you. But we *will* be angry with you if you don't talk to Aya about it."//

Youji hesitated before the entrance to the warehouse, suddenly afraid of the impending meeting. The encounter with Schuldich still disturbed him and he was no where nearer understanding what had come over him. Schuldich managed to seize control of him again, yet why was it that this time, he remained aware and conscious. Was it because he fought back? Was Schuldich right? Deep down, did he really want to rape Aya? Was that why it was so-- easy for him to attack Aya?

"Youji-kun?" Omi's voice intruded on his thoughts, reminding him that they were waiting for him to enter the warehouse.

Ken's hand came out to rest on his shoulder. "Talk to him, Youji. You owe him that."

Youji took in a deep breath to brace himself before he reached out to open the door. To their surprise though, it wasn't Aya who was sitting in their small living room waiting for them.

"Oh, it's about time you returned." Birman turned towards them holding a box of Chinese take out. "Aya-kun and I finished eating 10 minutes ago. I was about to put these away before they got cold."

"Birman? Do we have a mission?" Omi asked warily, his eyes drawn towards the stairs to the loft since Aya didn't appear to be in evidence.

"Not tonight." She waved them off and gestured for them to sit at the table which was laid out with more boxes of Chinese take out. "I'm here to give you some skills upgrading. Aya-kun called Manx earlier to report that Schwarz appeared to have survived just as you have. He also mentioned that he encountered Schuldich who apparently has become more proficient with his telepathic powers and so Weiß needs to sharpen their techniques on blocking the man. I'm the trainer for that, so I came to give Aya a refresher course and to teach you.

" Persia inferred from Aya's report that this safe house could be compromised, so we're going to move you again. Manx will be calling you in the morning with information of your new base." Birman nodded to the trailer and pointed a thumb upwards. "As usual, take the trailer and any personal belongings, Kritiker will take care of the furniture and fittings." She huffed slightly as she glanced at the coffee table with the takeout boxes of Chinese food. "Humph! I think I got conned into buying you dinner. Aya-kun said that he was manning the store alone so couldn't go out and pick it up himself."

"Bedrolls in the trailer again?" Omi groaned as he rolled his eyes. But a glance at Youji told him the older man wasn't fooled by his expression. They were all rather relieved to be given a chance to vacate this particular safe house.

"Refresher course?" Ken waved off the prospect of the move in the morning and focussed on Birman's earlier pronouncement, his curiosity perked. "When did Aya learn this?"

"Well... He said I could open the case files to tell you. I'm not sure how much you know of this, but Aya-kun was formerly in Kritiker before he left to freelance and later join Weiß. He has clashed with Schuldich before, during his early months with Kritiker.

"The first team Aya-kun was assigned to in Sendai was betrayed from within and he came out of that mission as a sole survivor. We were not aware of it then, but Schuldich had apparently been lying in wait for him with his return to Tokyo. The man got into his mind and almost succeeded in making him commit suicide. Fortunately, Manx had been checking on him and managed to pull him out of it. Kritiker had to put Aya-kun through therapy and a crash course in mind blocking techniques before they'd let him out again."

They were shocked. When they first met Aya, they thought he was intensely focussed and cared not for his own conscience. But... "Aya-kun was suicidal?"

"No, Schuldich made him *think* he was suicidal." Birman corrected him. "Aya-kun already learned the basic techniques of mind blocking, but apparently mental and emotional stress can give skilled telepaths a back door to exploit." Birman explained as she passed a plate of spring rolls to the youngest of the Weiß members. "At that time, it hadn't been all that long after the accident which orphaned Aya-kun and put Aya-chan in a coma. Money problems associated with Aya-chan's care were part of the reason why Aya-kun joined Kritiker. On top of those money problems, he was also suffering from survivor's guilt with the loss of his team from that failed mission. Schuldich found those 'wounds' and exploited them before Manx interrupted.

"Unfortunately, the boy does sometimes take things to extremes in closing himself off. And couple that with his sensei's doctrine of 'no emotions'... Manx has told me before that Aya-kun was very different when he was just 'Ran'." Birman sighed as she looked up towards the loft where their sleeping quarters were. "Not that he still didn't slip occasionally to allow Schuldich to invade his dreams when he was mentally stressed. But at least he's had no problems with Schuldich seizing control again." Birman looked back at them and at the still half filled takeout boxes. "Anyway, will you finish eating this? I want to start your crash course for today. No missions until we're through the syllabus. We should be done within a week."

"Should we call Aya-kun to join us?

"He's already been through this before. We finished his review while we ate. I think I gave him a headache though. He said he needed to retire early." Birman shrugged as she turned away to reach for her files, totally missing the look Youji gave the other two.