Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Mind Trick of the Heart ❯ The Ignorance of Love ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or the idea or the characters in the show. However I do own this fanfiction idea and the characters Saberu, Toran, Walter, Mary and her little followers Sue-Ann and Beth. Don't take them, they're mine. They are ©opyrighted by me!

Warnings: Yaoi, strong language, lime, and a lemon scene. Implied KenxOmi and OCxOmi. Lots of stuff to do with original characters, don't like that stuff, than you probably wouldn't like this.

Chapter 6: The Ignorance of Love

Omi stood in front of Saberu's room. He knew he had to apologize. He remembered vaguely... Yelling at him, telling him never to touch him again. It was hard to bring up, it seemed so unclear. All he knew what that he needed to apologize to him right away.

He reached out and opened the door. To his relief it wasn't locked. Taking a peek inside it looked like Saberu was sleeping. Lying on his side, trails of drying tears left on his face. Omi was stunned.

'I...I made him cry,' a frown came to his face. He couldn't believe that he had hurt Saberu to deeply he had actually cried. A pang of guilt hit him. Though it was a bit hard to remember, there were images of yelling at him and watching the hurt look on his face as he spoke so cruelly. Though he no longer knew just why on earth he had lashed out at Saberu the way he did. Everything of their argument was fuzzy.

Omi went over and sat on the edge of the bed, the bed which he knew to be his and his beloved Saberu's. He watched he for a few moments, sleeping soundly and completely unaware of his presence. He looked...so at peace right then. A sleeping price. Omi felt nothing but complete love for him. He wanted to lie down and just wrap him in his arms, hold him tightly. He leaned down and kissed him gently. Almost like a fairy tale Saberu began to awake.

"Errg... What?" he turned onto his back and rubbed his head. Omi could already hear the annoyance in his voice for being woken up. "I swear to god Toran, if you're playing some kind of sick joke on me..."

"It's me."

As he said it, Saberu sat up with a jolt. A shocked yet almost horrified look was on his face.

"O-Omi..." he gritted his teeth as he backed up against the headboard of the bed. If Omi was there, it could only mean one thing. 'Somehow he got away, now he's here to kill me.'

"Saberu--"

"Wha-what do you want?" Saberu growled. Omi was a bit shocked, not understanding the harshness in Saberu's voice as he spoke to him. He knew it must have been because of the cruel way he had talked to him, what he had said. Omi couldn't blame Saberu for being upset with him.

"Saberu, I'm so sorry for the way I spoke to you. It was horrible... I don't blame you for being mad at me," he cast his eyes downward in shame as he spoke.

Saberu was stunned. It had to be some kind of trick to get him to let his guard down. Then Omi could attack him and finish him off. Saberu didn't know what to do. He didn't want to die but he knew that he couldn't fight back. He'd die before he'd purposely hurt Omi.

"I don't know what was wrong with me, I would never be so cruel to you," he looked at his face, trying to read Saberu's expression and praying in his mind that he could somehow forgive him. He reached out and grasped Saberu's hands in his. He was a bit shocked as he saw Saberu flinch when he touched him. "I'm so sorry... Please, forgive me, Saberu."

Saberu groaned to himself. "This is a dream," he decided as he pulled his hands from Omi's grasp and brushed his bangs from his eyes. It was a dream trying to help him deal with the rejection Omi had given him before, by making him think that there was some possible chance that Omi could love him. Saberu suddenly felt his stomach sink as he remembered what he had told Toran and Walter before he had headed off to his room. 'Do what you want with him,' he had said. Toran and Walter would surely kill him! He had to wake up and stop them. "I don't have time for this!" he shouted as what he was sure was his 'dream Omi' gave him a very confused look. "I have to wake up," he gave a hard pinch on his own arm. "Ow…!" he gritted his teeth. The spot he had hurt began to take on a pink glow from the self-induced injury. Saberu blinked and realized that if he could hurt himself than this couldn't possibly be a dream.

"Hey, don't hurt yourself!" Omi protested as he reached over and grasped his arm, rubbing it to try and ease the pain that Saberu had caused to himself. It made him a bit sad that Saberu had actually thought that his apology had been a dream. Did he honestly think that he wouldn't apologize? "You're not dreaming... I really came to apologize. You can't be that shocked..."

Saberu stared back at him. He sounded so sincere, like he truly meant it all. Saberu felt that hope returning. He thought that maybe, with all he had said... Maybe after thinking it all over Omi had changed his mind. Maybe he truly wanted to give things a shot with him.

"Omi..."

"Hmm?" he looked up at him.

"Wha-where," he rubbed his forehead. He hated when he stuttered. "Where are Toran and Walter?"

"Toran I just saw not too long ago... Walter I'm not sure," but Omi wasn't interested in them, he was only concerned for Saberu. "Saberu, does this mean...does this mean that you forgive me for yelling at you and saying such horrible things?"

"Omi...why did you change your mind?" Saberu asked, staring deeply into his blue eyes. This didn't seem real, it all seemed like a dream. "I thought you hated me! You said you could never love someone like me."

Omi's face dropped. He looked shocked and sickened at the same time.

"Saberu... I-I said that? I don't remember saying that..." Omi couldn't believe he had said something so hateful to him. Saberu gasped as Omi wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. " Saberu, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't be surprised if you hated me! I-I can't believe I said something so cruel... After all you've done is love me..."

Saberu sighed deeply. For the moment, just enjoying the feel of the other man's body. He felt so warm... Feeling him, he felt more contentment than he had even known. He finally decided to accept this and returned the hug, pulling Omi closer and holding him tightly.

"I'm so glad you don't hate me."

"Never," Omi whispered. "I'm just sorry I hurt you so bad."

"No," Saberu rested his chin on Omi's shoulder. He never wanted this to ever end, he never wanted to let go. "Hearing you say that was worth the pain," a smile slowly formed on his lips. He just couldn't help but smile.

Omi pulled back to look into his eyes. "I promise I'll never act that way again," he said. "I still don't know what came over me," he couldn't remember what had triggered his anger, or why he had taken it out on Saberu. Every time he tried to remember his head just ached the more he tried. "Maybe it was just stress from hearing about those assassins you fought."

Saberu froze. THOSE assassins? It had been such an odd way to word it. Saberu ignored what his mind was thinking, he didn't want to think that way. But talking about it did bring up another issue. His friends wouldn't stand for Omi hanging around him, he was their target after all.

"Omi, what about your friends...?"

Omi looked a bit confused. "What friends?"

Saberu could feel the fear raising within him. He could feel his heart racing, the loud sound of the organ pounding in his ears.

"You know, Aya, Yoji, Ken..."

Omi just looked even more confused. "Who are you talking about, Saberu? I don't know anyone by those names."

His heart broke, his hopes went up in flames. He knew for sure, what had had been beginning to think was indeed the truth.

Omi was brainwashed.

"...no..." he shook his head. He brought his knees to his chest as he fought not to cry. "No...no...no!" How could they do this to him? Get his hopes up only to realize the truth. He hated himself right then. Honestly, what had he been thinking? Omi would never love someone like him. Once again he was at fault for being such an idiot.

Omi was shocked as he saw the hurt in Saberu's eyes. "Saberu, don't cry," Omi soothed him as he reached up and just ever so slightly touched his face with his fingertips. "I know I hurt you very badly. Just let me...just let me take it away," Omi leaned forward on his knees and kissed Saberu. Saberu froze as he felt it. It made his whole body just ache in delight. While for the moment he enjoyed it, shock overcame it as he felt Omi's hands slide up his stomach to his chest where he began to undo the buttons of his shirt. That's when Saberu realized just what the young man had in mind.

"N-no..." he breathed out as he broke the kiss and grabbed Omi by his wrists, pushing away the touch. The words were so hard to say. It could be so easy to let Omi continue, to make love to him just as he had in his dreams. But he knew that deep down if he were to do that, it would be rape. It would be just as bad as rape.

Omi froze, a bit of fear welling up as Saberu turned him down. Saberu had forgiven him. He claimed he had but Omi was suddenly very worried that just perhaps he had broken their relationship beyond repair. "Saberu... You're not so mad at me that you--!"

"No!" Saberu stopped him from thinking like that. There was nothing Omi could do that would make him ever stop loving him. "No, it's not that at all. I want to be with you, Omi," Saberu whispered, cupping Omi's face. Omi smiled and leaned against his touch. Saberu ached all over. The look on Omi's face was one of happiness. When he touched him, he enjoyed it. Saberu shut his eyes tightly, trying to block out the thought before he could even think of it. He couldn't take advantage of him, he just couldn't do that to him. "Just-just not tonight, I'm too tired," he lied. It was one of the biggest lies he had ever told.

"Alright," Omi understood. Saberu froze as Omi began to pull off his shirt. As it fell to the ground Saberu's heart beat began to pound harder than ever. It was just like his dream, he was absolutely flawless!

"What-what are you doing....?"

Omi noticed the uneasiness in his voice and grinned. "Now, now, Saberu!" he scolded playfully. "You said you were tired, remember? Don't get any ideas! You don't expect me to sleep in my shirt and shorts, do you?"

"N-no," Saberu's face turned as red as a tomato. He felt stupider than ever right then. He started to pull of his own clothes until he was down to his undershirt and boxers, what he always wore to sleep. As he laid down he was stunned as Omi snuggled close to him and laid his head on his chest, now in nothing but his socks and boxers.

"Mmm... I love listening to your heart beat," he sighed. "It's so...peaceful..." he closed his eyes as he began to fall asleep. Saberu sighed softly. It felt nice being so close to him.

Toran and Walter had not just brainwashed Omi into giving him a chance. They had made him forget about his true life. Now Omi thought...

A smile drifted to his lips for a moment.

Omi thought they were a couple.

It seemed like a dream. Omi loved him, he was devoted to him. He felt like laughing at it, laughing at the cruel irony of it all. But there was so much pain as the words in his mind haunted him. No matter what he wanted it wasn't real. It was all just forced. Omi did not care for him at all.

'If only...if only you weren't brainwashed... I would never be happier...' he thought to himself as he forced himself not to cry again, doing it now he wouldn't be able to think of an excuse. 'After one night of pretending... I'm going to tell Walter to undo what he has done to you...then...' a lone tear escaped his eye and rolled down his face and he closed his eyes, he would not permit any more to fall. '...I'll let you kill me.'

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"You brat, you worthless fucking brat!"

"I-I'm sorry, Daddy, I was thirsty! I'll clean it up!" the little boy sobbed as his father backed him into a corner. He had made the mistake of thinking he could pour himself a glass of milk but had accidentally knocked the glass onto the floor, spilling the milk and breaking the cup. The noise alerted his father who went into a rage at waking up at 2 in the morning and finding the mess.

"You can't do anything right, you little bastard!" his father swung a fist into the boys stomach, causing the little boy to gasp hard for breath. More punches followed as the boy tried to shield himself from his angry father as he beat him over and over. That's when his father noticed the empty bottle on the floor next to him. Grabbing he bottle he swung it almost like a baseball bat, breaking it into the boy's shoulder and causing him to scream as the force caused the bottle to shatter into a million pieces.

Shards now lay scattered all over the place. His father seemed satisfied with his punishment as he straighten up and fixed his hair. The rage and anger beginning to fade as he decided that the boy had learned his lesson.

"Clean it up, if I wake up and step on any glass in the morning I'm going to take the belt to you, you worthless little shit..."

The boy forced himself not to cry and held his shoulder, which was now in immense pain. If he cried, he knew his father would just continue with the punishment. If he cried he just wanted to beat him harder for being a sissy.

His father turned and walked back into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

"I'm going to kill you someday," the little boy vowed. "I'll get you back for each swing you throw at me..."

Saberu groaned and rolled over in bed, his hand smacking into Omi's face. Omi winced. He slowly opened his eyes only to see Saberu, crying softly in his sleep.

"...he's having a nightmare," Omi gasped. He sat up, looking down at Saberu. He reached out and stroked his face. "Saberu...it's a dream, it's all right..." he bent down and kissed him softly. "Wake up, it's just a dream..."

"...no!" Saberu moaned. His eyes flashed opened, meeting Omi's gaze.

"Shh..." he said soothingly while kissing him again. "It's all right... I'm here, it was a dream."

"Omi..." Saberu whimpered. He turned away from him and buried his face into his pillow. He shouldn't cry, not at his age... He shouldn't be so emotional. Why did he have to have that dream again, why did he have to think about it at all? Omi stroked his back as he tried to keep himself under control.

"Beru-chan, I know, it was a nightmare. It's all over... It's all over now though."

Saberu forced himself to look at Omi. His eyes still threatening to over-flow with tears as he clutched his pillowcase tightly. He had called him...Beru-chan. It was such an affectionate nickname. It was weird, waking up from a nightmare and having someone there trying to comfort him. Saberu was so used to waking up alone and crying himself back to sleep.

"...I'm not used to this," he scoffed. "I'm used to being alone."

"Saberu...what do you mean?" Omi questioned. "I've been here since I was 11."

Saberu shook his head. "Right..." Omi thought he had been with Saberu for a long time. He probably thought he had always comforted him after a nightmare.

"Saberu," Omi snuggled close to him, softly brushing his lips against his shoulder. "What was your nightmare about? Tell me so it won't ever come true..."

Saberu closed his eyes. It was a ridiculous thing to say, such an odd theory. Not that it mattered, this nightmare he had already lived. "It's too late, it's already happened."

Omi stroked his hair. "Like my dreams of my kidnapping," he whispered.

"Exactly."

Omi slid his arm over Saberu, trying to pull him closer but Saberu resisted. Omi didn't understand why Saberu wasn't allowing him to hold him. He pulled away and laid back, looking at Saberu with a bit sadness on his face.

"Saberu... Please, let me hold you."

Saberu looked at him. "No, I'm not letting something happen that I can't have."

That made positively no sense to Omi. Saberu already had him. "Beru-chan," Omi frowned. "You're not making any sense."

"To you, no... Just trust me on this, go back to sleep," Omi had no idea. He was like a naive child. Saberu knew he had to be in control, for Omi's sake. He wanted to hold him, he wanted to be held. He wanted to touch Omi, to make him feel just how much he loved him. But he just couldn't and he was afraid that if he started something he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"I don't want to," Omi said firmly and Saberu was stunned. "You're my lover," Saberu blushed when he said it. "Something's wrong and I want to make it better, Beru-chan... Please, I don't want you to be mad at me, you never turned down my affection before," not that he could remember anyway.

"I'm in a stressed mood," he replied. "I don't want to bring you down with me."

"You already are," Omi retorted. "Stop it...just let me hold you."

Saberu sat up and looked at him in the eyes. Omi was more persistent than Saberu would have expected. At least with something as small as this.

"Please?" Omi added politely with a smile, holding out his arms. Saberu sighed and leaned against the younger boy, allowing him to put his arms around him, desperately trying to feel nothing as the one he wanted so much held him. It wasn't working, he was already picking up on the smell of his hair, the feel of his skin... He wanted to pull off Omi's last piece of clothing and spend the rest of the night making love to him. What hurt most was knowing Omi wouldn't refuse him either...

"That's better... You're really tense, Beru-chan. Don't worry, it's all going to be fine!" Omi stroked his back as he cradled him. "I know those assassins aren't going to be able to hurt you, Walter or Toran... You guys took care of them easily, you told me so and you didn't have a scratch on you."

Saberu sighed. 'I wish... I just wish this were real... But it's not, this isn't Omi...'

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"You'll look into it?!" Ken screamed in rage.

"Ken, you know we can't do anything until we have a location," Manx replied casually.

"Omi could be DYING out there and your damn response was you'll look into it?! You should know where the hell they are, they're the targets!"

"Ken, that's enough," Aya growled.

"This isn't enough! Like you even care about him, Aya!" he yelled.

"Ken, hey... C'mon, chill..." Yoji was looking quite nervous, Ken looked as though he was about to kill someone. "Omi is fine... But we really have nothing if we don't have a location."

"He's fine?! You don't know that!" Ken marched over to Yoji and stared down at him. "He could already be dead! I don't believe any of you!"

"Ken, what are you suggesting?" Yoji groaned, pushing up on his sunglasses. "We go looking around, knocking on doors asking if those three guys live there?"

"At least that's something!"

"It's stupid," Aya informed him. "Omi can take care of himself."

"Not against those guys! Not by himself!" Ken looked over at him. "I don't understand how you can all be so heartless!"

"Ken, we have nothing..." Yoji stood up, trying to calm the brunette down by placing a hand on his shoulder. "We'll look around and try to find out when their next show is, that's all we can do. Omi will be fine, he'll be fine when he find him."

Ken scoffed, casting his gaze downward. "What if he isn't?"

"We're never going to find him if you lose all sense of logic," Aya told him. "If you care about him at all you'll get a hold of yourself so we can try to think of something to help him."

For some reason it seemed to calm him down. It didn't diminish the burning rage he felt inside though.

"Damnit, his isn't right," he groaned. He should have been able to protect him, he shouldn't even be missing in the first place. One thought drove him; 'if they hurt him, I'm going to kill them... And I'm going to make sure it hurts.'

"I'll be in touch," Manx told him. "We're all as concerned for Omi as you are, but if we're going to find him alive we need to keep a cool head, panicking isn't going to do him any good."

"Whatever you say," Ken replied coldly. Kritiker didn't care whether any of them lived or died, they didn't care if Omi died. The only way they were going to save him is if they found him themselves.

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Saberu woke up, he had slept peacefully the rest of the night. As he became more aware he realized how the bed felt colder than he remembered it being the pervious night. Opening his eyes he realized why; he was the only one in the bed.

"Did he...did he remember?" Saberu quickly climbed out of bed and rushed out of the room, feeling heart-broken. But he shouldn't have felt that way. If Omi had recovered his true self then that was a good thing, wasn't it?

He walked out into the kitchen, smelling the cooking of food. It must have been Toran, Saberu thought. However when he got there, there was a very different figure at the stove, someone wearing a pair of his clothes in fact... A teal-green turtleneck with no sleeves and shorts just above his knees. He recognized the back of his head though, and his happy humming...

"Omi?"

Omi whirled around, bright smile on his face. "Beru-chan! Ohayo!" he giggled. Then he laughed. "Saberu, you're in your underwear!"

Saberu blushed. He had been in such a rush he totally forgot to but on some clothes.

"Oh, yeah... I, um... Just was kind of startled waking up alone."

He seemed faltered by the concern. "I just thought I'd make breakfast for you, knowing you were a bit depressed... You'd better go put something on before Toran and Walter wake up, Toran will never stop teasing you otherwise."

"Ri-right," Saberu turned quickly, a sigh of relief escaping him as he walked off. 'Damnit, I shouldn't care though! I'm having Walter change Omi back today... And he's going to hate me even more then...' he forced himself not to be sad, to think other things. He couldn't take the thought of Omi hating him. He already did though... The Omi before now, before he had been brainwashed said he would never be with someone like Saberu. No matter what.

Saberu returned to the kitchen, looking much more decent than before. Toran and Walter were up by then and Omi was serving the breakfast he had prepared.

"I made a lot, so eat as much as you want!"

Walter and Toran looked shocked by this. But Toran's was a pleased kind of shock.

"Hey! I didn't have to cook today!" he chuckled and began to eat. Saberu clutched his hands into fists, he never felt angrier with the two of them than right then.

"Saberu, good morning," Walter greeted him. "You sleep well?"

"Just fine," Saberu almost growled.

"You're back!" Omi smiled, walking over to him and stunning Saberu by giving him a soft kiss. He just stood there, a bit shocked and not reacting at all to the kiss. Omi pulled away with a pout. "Alright, it's understandable if you don't want to get too fresh in front of them but I expect a better one later," he smiled and walked over to the table. Walter looked pleased with his work. Saberu decided to join them, he had nothing else to do anyways.

'I can't believe you two...you did this,' he told Walter and Toran telepathically. They both grinned.

'Why, you sound disappointed!' Walter commented. 'We just gave you what you wanted.'

'No! I didn't want Omi like this, I wanted him to love me on his own!' Saberu yelled at them both with his mind. He didn't want false love. He didn't want love that he hadn't won on his own.

'That's impossible,' Toran told him. It was the truth. 'He rejected you, this was the only way you could have him.'

'But this isn't Omi!' Saberu frowned. 'This is just another version of him that knows only how to love me...'

'Actually, Saberu. This is very much Omi,' Walter explained, wiping his mouth with his napkin. 'You see, it's him if he were to meet you after his kidnapping, without the guilt of Weiß on his shoulders... Not only did we do you a favor we did him a favor as well.'

'Taking away who he is?' Saberu growled sarcastically.

'No,' Walter glared back at him. 'Giving him one shot at true happiness.'

Saberu leaned back in his chair and crossed his arm. 'What do you mean?' he found himself interested in what his older teammate had to say.

'Weiß would never allow him to be happy. He's not proud of his sins and as long as he was in Weiß everything would be only bittersweet,' Walter was beginning to smirk. 'So, you see Saberu... This is better for him either way.'

'No...you made him lose his memories of his friends!'

'...who never gave him want he needed,' Walter told him. 'You see, Saberu... What Omi wanted more than anything was to be loved. But he always felt alone and unsure of his friends' feelings for him, whether they cared enough. They made him feel alone...'

Saberu was stunned and he suddenly he felt as though someone had spun him around several times. Suddenly his look began to soften. He was no longer sure what to think. He shook his head, deciding it best not to even consider it. This was wrong no matter what they said.

'I want you to change him back.'

'I will if that's what you want...but we'll have to kill him if I do.'

'WHAT?!' Saberu looked horrified. 'No...!'

'He's an enemy,' Toran stepped in. 'If he's against us, we have to eliminate him; it's as simple as that. You can either enjoy this or not... Love him or kill him. It's your choice, he's yours to do with what you want.'

Saberu frowned. It sounded heartless but it was the truth. Omi knew where they were, he and his friends would just come back and try to kill them. Saberu wouldn't let them kill Omi and he wouldn't want to kill Omi's friends because he knew that would devastate Omi...and leave him even more alone than he already was.

He felt as though he couldn't win.

"Saberu," Omi whined, kicking him under the table gently. "You're not talking, what's wrong? Don't you like the food?"

Saberu smiled at him. "I'm fine... Just daydreaming." For a moment he pondered this situation.

'Maybe...maybe this could work out.'

~*TBC*~