Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Our Sacrifice ❯ Omi ( Chapter 1 )

The end of Omi's dart scratched noisily on the concrete. The owner of said dart was staring up at the sky, not even conscious of the irritating sound he was producing. Omi let his head rest heavily on the railing behind him. Nothing had changed; it had been nearly three years and nothing had changed. Weiss worked as seamlessly together now as they had three years ago. Yet, Omi couldn't help but feel as if something had changed. The blonde let his gaze drag down to the man in front of him.

'What gives you the right to decide if I die? You're no better than me. In fact, you probably deserve my fate more than I do.'

A sharp snap shot through the air as Omi broke the tip of his dart against the cement. Tucking his knees to his chest, the blonde buried his head in his arms. The wind picked up, giving his cheek a cold kiss. Omi didn't even shiver. He curled in upon himself as doubts he thought long buried resurfaced. Why couldn't they leave him alone? Why did these memories always come back? Couldn't he live in peace? The wind wrapped around the young man demanding his attention. Slowly, he uncurled enough to lean back and stare at the sky.

The night was beautiful. The stars were bright, too. Were the stars always so bright? Omi didn't know; he hadn't looked at the stars in so long. He and Ken used to always look at the stars. Biting his lip, Omi reached up with a shaky hand to grab at the railing. He leaned over the railing as soon as he was able to, breathing the cold air in deeply. It stung but he still breathed in deeply again.

Casually, the blonde glanced back over his shoulder to the man behind him 'You're no better than me.' Sighing, Omi rested his head on his arms once more. He watched as the broken end of the dart tapped rhythmically against the metal. No, he wasn't any better. He was worse. He hurt people he knew and loved. Didn't just hurt them, manipulated them. A soft breath escaped the blonde as he held the dart out over the street. The metal glinted gently in the half-light of the stars.

Omi watched the weapon for a moment before turning his eyes back up to the stars. Carelessly, the dart dropped from his hand.

The television lit the room eerily. Heavily, Omi raised his hands and rubbed his eyes, intent on watching the game through. It was half-time; they were currently showing replays of the first half. Only a few of them were worth Omi's attention. Shifting, the blonde pulled his knees to his chest allowing his chin to rest on his knees.

"And there they are! The best team China's had in years, I'd say. They were looking at a bad season this year as well until their goalie was found. Hidaka Ken, an unknown Japanese player has helped to bring…"

Omi didn't pay any attention to what was being said. He had heard it all; had seen every game and every news cast concerning the team. So, of course he knew what was being said. Letting out a big yawn, Omi rubbed his eyes even harder. There was an amazing play by the opposing team. A play which was stopped by Ken, of course. The brunette hadn't lost his touch. And Omi was glad; that was the way things should be.

"Ken-kun." The name was whispered, slipping out of Omi's mouth. The room was suddenly brightened causing Omi to blink fiercely. Youji appeared moments later, falling onto the couch beside the younger boy.

"What're you up for?" Youji rubbed at his face before placing an arm around Omi's shoulder. Omi ignored the touch, intent on watching the game.

"Just watching the game. You should get some sleep, Youji-kun. I'll be up in a moment, I promise." Youji stayed with Omi. Halfway through the second half, Youji spoke up again.

"So, what's happened?" Omi just shrugged.

"Who's winning?" A long moment passed before Omi replied.

"I don't know."

"Do you know who's playing?"

"It's China versus someone else." Came the sullen response. Youji let out a snort.

"So, you don't know anything. Why are you even watching?" Before Omi could answer, the opposing team took a shot at the Chinese goal. Ken dove and picked up the ball without any worry. The camera zoomed in for a second to show the brunette yelling to move his teammates out. As the camera moved away, Youji tightened his grip on Omi's shoulder.

" Ahhhh, I understand." Omi tensed under Youji's arm immediately. Blue eyes darted from the TV to the older blonde as Omi tried to remain calm.

"Oh? You understand what?" The question was barely more than a whisper. Omi tried not to pay too much attention to the game now, least Youji should suspect anything.

"You miss them, don't you?" A kiss was placed on Omi's head, "Aya and Ken. You miss them. I understand; I do, too. How long has it been since we've seen them? Two years?"

Omi swallowed thickly, keeping his attention on the TV, forcing himself not to blink, "Ah." He replied blandly.

"Well, why don't you write to them? I'm sure they'd be glad to hear from ya. Tell them I say hi, too." Silence filled the room until the game ended. Omi watched the screen intently as the camera zoomed in once more, this time to show the Chinese team celebrating their victory. The camera focused on Ken for a long moment as the broadcaster raved about the young prodigy. Omi focused on Ken as he smiled freely, looking more beautiful than Omi had remembered.

The TV clicked off decisively and the screen went black. Omi placed the remote on the coffee table and turned to wrap his arms around Youji.

"It doesn't matter anymore." The young boy responded, burying his head in Youji's chest. Youji just wrapped his arms around Omi, saying that it was Omi's choice.

"It doesn't matter anymore." Omi repeated. A single tear slid down the boy's face and disappeared into Youji's shirt.

The railing dug into Omi's stomach as he leaned over the building. He wasn't paying attention to the pain, however. The stars twinkled merrily down on him as he stared back at them. Tilting ever so slightly, Omi fell towards the ground. He caught himself at the last moment and tilted the opposite way until his feet hit the ground. Driven by something unknown, the blonde shut his eyes and slowly lifted one leg over the bar.

For one, lucid moment, Omi stopped himself, straddling the railing as he looked at the street. What was he doing? Why was he even thinking about this? But, as quickly as it came, the moment left. All the doubts came back with twice the force as before. Steadily, Omi lifted his other leg over the bar. The wind twisted around his legs as he let them dangle over the edge. With one short hop, the young man stood on the edge of the building. The only thing keeping him from falling was his hold on the bar behind him.

Once more, he turned his attention to the stars as if asking them for an answer.

"I'm tired; so tired of everything. Of living, being Weiss. Not seeing Ken. Having to watch through entire games just for a glimpse of him. Of lying to Youji-kun." He bounced on his arms for a moment, allowing himself to lean further over the edge, "I don't want to hurt anyone. Not anymore, not when I don't have to. I don't want to keep hurting Ken-kun."

He sighed into the wind and turned his face down. The scene below began to blur. Omi felt his feet slip slightly and curl around the cement. Would it hurt?

How long had it been since they'd last seen each other? A day? Three months? A year? It seemed to have been so long ago, yet so close. They stared at each other, unsure what to do, what to say. There was a nervous tension surrounding them as the minutes stretched out. It seemed as if Time itself had decided to stop for the two of them. Or maybe it had chosen to speed up. Either way, it felt like eternity in a moment when he spotted Ken.

Brown eyes flickered around the room, as if seeking the other's companion. They, however, were alone. Just the two of them. No one else. How long had it been since they'd been alone? Together? Blue eyes lowered in uncertainty. It certainly had been a while since they'd last spoken; maybe enough time still hadn't passed. Their actions seemed to agree to that fact; they needed more time, more time to heal and more time to think. Ken cleared his throat and stepped forward, breaking Omi's reverie.

"Omi…it's, uhhh…been awhile." The brunette scratched his head nervously. Omi shifted his feet oddly, neither stepping towards Ken nor pulling away. There was an odd feeling in his chest, as if someone were pulling his lungs apart yet squishing them together at the same time.

"Yeah. It has." It was a drawn out response, hesitant and sure at the same time; testing the air between them. Omi twisted so he could look out the window, not sure if he was ready for this confrontation.

"Omi-" Ken started.

"Look, Ken…" Omi trailed off.

'I'm sorry.' They both finished silently.

Omi caught Ken's eye for one brief moment and all his fears were founded. It was still there; unspoken lust, want, need, and perhaps even love. A vow of protection. But, all remained unsaid; and it made the space between the two of them all the more uncomfortable for Omi. The shop bell tinkled merrily before any more harm could come.

"Where are you? Omi?" Ken turned his back on the boy making Omi feel alienated. Blonde hair hid blue eyes and the tears trapped in those eyes. Smoke alerted Omi to another presence, one both wanted and invading. The blonde glanced at the door slyly from the corner of his eye, waiting for the man he knew was looking for him, "Omi! I was wondering where you went."

Long arms wrapped around the smaller body as Omi was pulled into the man's embrace. Omi's eyes were trained on Ken's back; Ken didn't turn around.

Gravel bounced dangerously down the side of the building as Omi leaned over the edge. Reflexively, his hands tightened around the bar behind him as his arms bent. The wind rushed through his hair and brought tears to his eyes. The lights from the street blended together when Omi looked down; looking up at the sky, he got the same effect. Everything looked the same.

Static burst through Omi's thoughts for a moment before the voices of his teammates floated around his head. Sighing, Omi pulled himself back and leaned against the railing before adjusting his com.

"Bombay? Bombay, ya there? What's your status?" A gloved hand ran over the boys face before he answered.

"Target down. Mission complete." He breathed out. Faintly, Omi thought he heard Ken's voice. Pushing that thought away as wishful thinking, Omi moved to climb back over the railing.

"Bombay, you okay?"

"I'm fine, Balinese. I'll meet you guys outside in 10 minutes." As his leg hooked over the bar, Omi paused and looked down the side of the building. It would be a lot quicker to just jump, he thought suddenly. A lot quicker for many things.

"Ok, baby. You better be here soon, though. I wanna see for myself that you're fine." Omi blushed at the comment, both implied and literal. His grip tightened as his eyes shut tight. Everyone had heard that. Everyone.

"Balinese!" The rebuke came off weak as Omi forced the word out of his mouth.

"All right, all right. I'll save it for later." There was an unmistakable wink in those words causing Omi to blush more.

"Idiot." Omi muttered bitterly. Ken could hear everything. Omi's knees gave out and he crumpled to the ground; the only thing holding him up was his hold on the bar. His stomach twisted horribly at the thought. Ken had suffered so much because of Omi; he shouldn't have to listen to Youji's flirting as well. Did Ken even know? Omi wondered as he shut his eyes.

Omi sighed into the night, his breath forming a small cloud before him. He wrapped his arms more tightly about himself while searching for Ken. The brunette had walked outside not too long ago; surely he didn't wander away. Not long after that thought, Omi found Ken lying in the yard. He was staring up at the sky, or, at least Omi thought Ken was. Carefully, the blonde sat down beside his teammate. Omi didn't know if Ken knew he wasn't alone.

"Why aren't you with Youji?" Omi started at the question, his head whipping around to face Ken. Wearily, Omi rested his head on his arms, propping them on his knees. He didn't take his eyes from Ken's face.

"Youji-kun's clubbing." Ken continued to stare at the sky and ignore Omi.

"Aren't you jealous that he's gone? I'd think his hitting on women would bother you." Shrugging gracefully, Omi let his gaze drift away from Ken.

"I don't mind. Youji-kun likes going out, and I don't like clubbing. So, every once in a while, he goes out and I do what I want." Omi heard Ken snort as he pushed himself up. Taking a chance, Omi scooted closer to the brunette. After waiting a moment and not seeing any sign from Ken, Omi took his luck a step further and reached out to twine his fingers with Ken's. Omi felt rather than saw Ken's head snap up and his eyes widen. Hoping it was the right choice, Omi held onto his friend's hand.

"Omi…" Ken began, "Omi…does Youji love you?"

"I know that Youji-kun cares for me." Omi replied carefully, not releasing his hold on Ken's hand, "He says he loves me; but I don't know."

There was a strained silence for a moment before Ken spoke again, "Omi…do you love Youji?"

The question was barely a whisper; just loud enough for Omi to hear.

"I care about Youji-kun." Blue eyes gazed at the soccer player for a moment, "But I don't love him."

In one swift move, Omi leaned over and caught Ken in a quick kiss. Ken didn't move for a moment, emboldening Omi. Then, just as quickly as it began, the kiss ended; Ken pulled out of the kiss, turning away from Omi.

"I can't, Omi." Hurt, Omi asked Ken why, "Because you're with Youji. It's wrong."

Biting his lip, the blonde shifted closer to Ken, "Ken-kun, please. This has nothing to do with Youji-kun."

"Omi," Ken explained, "You're with Youji. It has everything to do with him. Don't you get it, Omi?"

"I do get it. And this is something that I want. Right now, Youji has nothing to do with it." Omi held Ken's gaze once he turned back around. Even more cautiously than before, Omi leaned forward and brushed his lips against Ken's, "Please, Ken. Just for tonight? Do this for me? Please?"

An arm wrapped around the boy's waist, pulling him firmly against Ken's chest. Omi gasped at the sudden movement but was quick to relax into the embrace. There was a slight pause as Ken searched Omi's face, as if looking for the truth in his words. Time stopped for the younger boy as Ken bent to give Omi a deep kiss.

"All right," The soccer player said after pulling away, "But just because you asked."

Footsteps echoed in the night distantly letting Omi know of the person's approach. But he didn't move. Warily, it seemed, the person approached Omi. After a few moments of silence, Omi glanced briefly over his shoulder.

"Hello, Ken-kun."

"Uhh, hey…Omi." A small smile tugged at Omi's lips as he listened to the other assassin, "Omi, we need to go."

There was a hesitancy to Ken. Omi sensed it in his words. Silence stretched between them and Ken began to shift uncomfortably. Omi cocked his head to the side to listen, but still kept his gaze forward.

"Omi," Ken cut in suddenly, his voice sounding harsh against the previous silence, "What are you doing?"

The wind died down, leaving Omi only with the stars. The gravel crunched under Ken's shoes as he moved forward. In answer, Omi let his shoes slide over the edge of the roof some more. It was a small action, but it was enough to make the brunette stop. The noise from the street was a distant sound, isolating the two men even more.

"The stars are bright tonight; did you notice, Ken-kun?" Omi bounced on his arms a bit, leaning further and further over the building, "Do you think they've always been this bright? Will they shine brightly tomorrow? I haven't noticed them recently; they haven't seemed to matter."

The gravel crunched once more, closer to Omi this time, causing him to pause. It was a minute before either of them spoke.

"Omi, what are you talking about?" It was an effort for the blonde not to look at his friend. Friend, his mind reiterated bitterly. Omi's gloves creaked slightly under the pressure of his grip.

"It's nothing." He replied, voice barely about a whisper. However, he didn't move from the edge.

It was comfortable being back in Ken's arms. For the first time in quite a while, Omi felt content, safe. With a soft sigh, he buried a little further under the covers and Ken's arms. They stayed like that for a few minutes, time slowly ticking by. Lazily, Omi lifted his head and blinked at the clock on Ken's dresser. Three o'clock. Biting back a groan, Omi closed his eyes while sliding his fingers through Ken's.

"Ken," He started quietly, "I have to go now," Ken's lips brushed Omi's neck, making him shiver.

"Why?" Omi didn't face Ken, even when he shifted so he could see the boy's face.

"Youji-kun's usually home by four. I need to get back."

"Ah. You're probably right." Yet, Ken made no move to let Omi go. That didn't seem to bother Omi who was just as content to stay in Ken's arms for a moment longer. Ken shifted behind Omi, pulling him closer. The breath caught in Omi's throat as he felt himself pressed against Ken; their skin rubbing together and Ken's breath hot on Omi's neck.

"Omi," the brunette's voice was low and husky, but also pleading, "Would it make any difference if I said I still loved you?"

Omi froze. His eyes squeezed tightly shut as he fought against the tears he felt rising. He didn't want to hear it; he didn't want Ken to feel that way anymore. If he did, he would want to try and start a relationship again and quit the Chinese team. Omi couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't allow it. He took a calming breath before continuing.

"Ken-kun, I'm with Youji-kun." Omi kept his eyes trained on the clock, "Tonight won't change anything. After Weiss is disbanded again, you'll go back to China and I'll go back home with Youji-kun."

The bed sagged as Ken laid back down, defeated. His arms slid out from around Omi leaving him cold and vulnerable. Silently, Omi pulled the rest of the way out of Ken's grip. Hesitantly, Omi turned around to face Ken, only to find the brunette staring out the window. Not giving his actions a second thought, the blonde leaned over to surprise Ken with a passionate kiss. It stopped as quickly as it had begun and Omi was already reaching for his clothes before Ken could say anything.

"Omi," Ken's voice stopped the boy, "Omi, I do still love you. You know that, right?"

Omi's hand rested on the doorknob; he was looking at the ground, slightly turned to Ken. Swallowing thickly, Omi turned the knob and opened the door slowly, "I know." And then he closed the door. It rattled softly as Omi leaned against it, covering his face with his hands. He struggled against the tears and sobs, intent on not breaking down. Once he was sure he was fine, Omi took one last shuddering breath and closed his eyes.

"And I love you, too." Pushing off of Ken's door, the boy headed back to the room he and Youji shared. Youji would be home soon. It wouldn't be good to be seen there.

"Omi, please…" Ken eyed the boy wearily, inching forward whenever he thought it safe. Omi, on his part, ignored Ken's presence. Gloved hands gripped the railing more tightly as the boy's slim body leaned further off the edge of the building. A gentle breeze fluttered through blonde bangs as Omi closed his eyes and bounced on his arms slightly, as if testing his body's weight, "Omi, please listen to me. Come back, please."

Wide eyes turned on the brunette, causing him to stop moving. The two boys stared at each other in amazement. One of Omi's hands released the bar as he dangerously twisted on one foot, the other soaring through the air. Ken didn't dare move, fearful that the slightest movement would send the blonde over the edge. Ken felt utterly helpless as he watched Omi; just one slip and the boy would fall, would be forever lost. A serene smile graced the younger boy's face as he turned to look at the moon.

"I'm tired, Ken." Taking a shaky breath, Ken forced himself to listen, his hands forming trembling fists at his side, "I can't think of another way to say it. But, I'm tired. He was right, Ken-kun. I don't deserve…" Omi stopped himself, shaking his head sorrowfully. Despair filled eyes turned back to Ken, fixing the brunette with a desperate plea, "I just…I want to rest."

Omi leaned back, letting his fingers loosen their hold on the bar. A choked sob escaped Ken's throat as he stepped forward, one hand stretched out to grab the boy. Omi paused, catching himself at the last moment.

"Omi, please don't do this. Don't leave me. I'll be here for you, you don't have go. Please. I'll support you, I promise!" Tears blurred the brunette's vision as his eyes locked onto Omi's, the message he couldn't bring himself to say passing between them in that one glance. Wistfully, Omi smiled back at Ken, tears trailing down his own face.

"I'm sorry, Ken." And he let go. Leaning back ever so slightly, Omi felt gravity take hold of him and pull him down. He stretched out his arms, closing his eyes as the feeling of being free passed through him. Distantly, he was aware of Ken yelling for him; only then did Omi feel a pang of regret. A moment later, his free fall was stopped as his body jerking suddenly. Startled out of his reverie, Omi stared up at the sky only to find Ken leaning over the edge precariously.

"Please, Omi. Don't go." Omi bowed his head as if in acceptance and Ken felt his heart lighten. Fighting against his feelings, Omi looked back up.

"Ken, please let me go." Bright eyes bored into Ken's, causing him to catch his breath. Ken saw the silent plea in the boy's eyes; all the pain Omi had been holding onto and keeping hidden inside. Ken turned away unable to look at the blonde anymore. But Omi continued to stare at the older boy, hoping that he would let go. Time stretched between them, holding them prisoner in that one moment. Finally, Ken looked back down at Omi, tears shining brightly in his dark eyes. Swallowing thickly, Ken nodded. A small smile graced Omi's face as he closed his eyes.

"I do love you, Ken-kun." …and Ken let go.