Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ The Adventures of Peter Pan (Weiss Style) ❯ Part 3 ( Chapter 3 )

I wish I could say that I own Weiß then I could say that I was Takehito, Koyasu and that I was a sexy Japanese voice actor and j-pop star… but unfortunately I'm not….

Schu: Thank Kami-sama for small miracles!

… *Smacks him upside the head with a mallet* …

Schu: *ducks* Haha! You didn't hit me this time! *Mallet comes back around and hits him* x_x

… Anyway as I was saying before, I don't own Weiß, nor do I own the story that I'm going to be royally fucking up. I don't know who it belongs too… but I do know Disney did it's own version of it… anyway enjoy!

Cast of Characters

Peter Pan- Fujimiya Ran

Wendy Darling- Hidaka Ken

John Darling- Kudoh Yohji

Michael Darling- Tsukiyono, Omi

Tinker Bell- Schuldich

Captain Hook- Bradley Crawford

Smee- Farfarello

Tiger Lily- Sakura

Narrator- Nagi

Crocodile- Mechanical Device created by Nagi

Lost boys- Schrient

Extras- Random Character from Weiß

Director- me! Cherubkatan!

Schu: *flutters around in the tiny costume* Welcome back to our wondrous production of The Adventures of Peter Pan!

Ran: I think they get the idea on what we're doing Schu...

Yohji: Man... I still need to find some hot chicks in this thing.

Cherubkatan: *smirks* You could always go after Sakura.

Sakura: ... I want Aya-san

Yohji: ... Next idea...

Ken: *snickers* It's a good idea Yotan ... go after the fifteen year old!

Yohji: ... I don't think so... I only go after women eighteen and up.

Ran: *raises eyebrow* I think that's a good idea for you to do Yohji.

Yohji: Of course it's a good idea; it keeps me out of jail.

Ran: ... I was talking about going after Sakura

Nagi: *looks at Cherubkatan* You know, I was just thinking about what Schuldich said...

Cherubkatan: What about it?

Nagi: ... he shouldn't be calling this the wondrous Adventures of Peter Pan... it should be called the Miss Adventures of Peter Pan.

Cherubkatan: ... *groans* Don't remind me...

~

Narrator: Now where were we?

Tinker Bell: I was just about to knock Wendy out cold again.

Wendy: Yeah he was just about to… HEY!

Tinker Bell: *snickers* See he agrees with me

Peter Pan: Tinker Bell, lay off him.

Tinker Bell: *grumbles* Whatever you say Peter

Wendy: *sticks his tongue out at Tinker Bell*

Tinker Bell: … Oh yeah that's really mature Ken…

Peter Pan: Why don't we just get on with this… Wendy, leave Tink alone, Tink leave Wendy alone.

John: *whispers to Michael* I'd like to see that actually happen for once.

Peter Pan: *glares at the two* Anyway, I think we should go out and show them around Never NeverLand. What do you think about that? *Turns his glare to all of the lost boys and Tinker Bell*

Lost Boys and Tinker Bell: *gulp* That sounds like a good idea Peter!

Lost Boy Hel: Oh… Peter… Captain Hook was looking for you earlier… he said he wanted to kill you.

Peter Pan: *smirks* Let him try

Tinker Bell: Oh Peter, don't go looking for him! He'll try to kill you and you never could beat him…

Peter Pan: *rolls eyes* That's because the moron is an oracle. Besides, I was thinking about taking them to the Indian Village.

Tinker Bell: … That's even worse… Tiger Lily's there.

Wendy: Who's Tiger Lily?

Lost Boy Tot: She's the princess… Tot doesn't like her… *looks over to the narrator* Nagi-kun! Hide me from her and hold Tot please?

Narrator: … I will not…

Tinker Bell: Hey Nagi… what did you see in her in the first place?

Narrator: A quick and easy screw?

Tinker Bell: *snickers*

Lost Boy Tot: *eyes well up with tears* NAGI-KUN! You said you loved me!

Narrator: I never said I did.

Lost Boy Tot: *runs out crying*

Lost Boy Schön: Now see what you've done… come on girls lets go find her and cheer her up.

*The remaining Lost Boys exit the stage*

*Behind the scenes*

Cherubkatan: … at least I don't have to worry about those four anymore…

Brad: Ah well they were fun though… before Nagi made Tot cry…

Cherubkatan: … Brad they were giving me a headache.

Brad: Everything gives you a headache.

Cherubkatan: *looks around* Farfie's not back yet.

Brad: Don't worry he will be.

*Back on the set*

Narrator: Now if our two critics are done talking we could continue with the story. After the annoying blue haired umbrella, wielder the four kids and the stupid fairy decided to go off to see Peter's Indiana friends. Although, I don't know if that's a good idea or a bad one…

Peter Pan: That's not your decision Nagi… you didn't write the story. And even now, this really isn't the story…

Tinker Bell: … We could all start singing like in the Disney© version.

John: With the way you sing… no way

Tinker Bell: There's absolutely nothing wrong with my singing!

John: You sound like a clogged up French hooker.

Tinker Bell: … *looks hurt* I thought you loved me Yohji.

John: I love you enough to let you know that your singing sucks… besides I thought you were all gun ho about Peter.

Tinker Bell: I am… but I can have my cake and eat it too… right?

John: No

Tinker Bell: *shrugs* Oh well, can't blame a fairy for trying.

Wendy, Peter, John, and Michael: Yes we can.

Tinker Bell: … *huffs* Well I never

Wendy: Never what? Get laid?

Narrator: … This is going to go on forever…

*Behind the curtains*

Cherubkatan: Nagi, just say they're in the village already!

Brad: … should I change the background?

Cherubkatan: do it

Brad: *gets up and lowers the back ground to one filled with Teepees*

*On stage*

Narrator: So they're all in the village and lo and behold Tiger Lily, who's really a crazed fifteen-year-old Ran loving psycho chick…

John: Hey Peter, she's taking over your title as psycho.

Peter Pan: Hn…

Narrator: came out to see who was there to visit.

Tiger Lily: Aya-san! *runs over and glomps him*

Peter Pan: … Tiger Lily… *starts trying to pry her off and mutters to himself* I swear they do NOT pay me enough for this *bleep*

Wendy: *glares at Tiger Lily* who the hell are you!?

Tiger Lily: I'm the brave princess Tiger Lily… I lost my kidney a while back and Peter Pan helped me. *hearts bloom in her eyes* I love him.

Wendy: *growls* Keep your filthy whore paws off my Peter!

Tinker Bell: I think I have to agree with Wendy this time… although he's MY Peter.

Peter Pan: Would all of you just KNOCK IT OFF. Tiger Lily let me go now!

Tiger Lily: But…

Peter Pan: *growls*

Tiger Lily: *sighs* Yes Peter *lets go of him*

Wendy: Yeah! Let Peter go, slut!

Tiger Lily: … slut?

Wendy: Oh wait I should call you a *beep*

Tiger Lily: *face turns red with anger then quickly composes her self* Nice nightgown you're wearing Ken-san.

Wendy: … *starts muttering to himself*

Tinker Bell: *starts laughing*

Peter Pan: *rolls his eyes* Why me?

John: Because Peter you're the lead character in this story.

Peter Pan: No one asked you Kudoh.

*Backstage*

Cherubkatan: … Well there definitely goes my production.

Brad: I still say it could be worse.

Cherubkatan: What? Will Sakura or someone start singing old show tunes?

Brad: I don't know.

Farfie: *wanders back in carrying a basket full of peeled tomatoes* Tomatoes look like blood and blood hurts God!

Cherubkatan: … Right…

*On stage*

Narrator: So while the three Peter Pan lovers fought over who he was, Peter and the two darling boys started to walk off to see more of the Indian tribe. In a few minutes however, Tinker Bell and Wendy sent Tiger Lily off crying. Now we must all take a moment to say a pray of thanksgiving.

Whole Cast: *stays silent for a minute*

Narrator: Thank you now back to the story. Before Wendy or Tinker Bell could catch up, they heard a piercing shrill of a scream.

Peter Pan: Now what in the hell is going on?

John and Michael: *look at each other and shrug*

Michael: We don't know.

Tribesman: Oh, my God Peter! Someone just kidnapped Tiger Lily.

Peter Pan: *mutters under his breath* Blast it all… damn woman isn't good for anything at all.

John: *whispers to Michael* I don't see anything bad about that happening to her… she has a penetrating voice. * Rubs his temple*

Michael: Yohji! That's mean!

John: *shrugs* I call it as it is chibi.

Michael: don't call me that Yohji-kun.

Tribesman: Please Peter you have to go catch her… it was Captain Hook who took her!

*Behind the stage*

Cherubkatan: *looks at Sakura*

Sakura: *looks at her*

Brad: Can I just tie her up now and get it over with?

Cherubkatan: Go ahead.

Sakura: … I want my Aya-san…

Brad: *gags her then ties her up nice and tight* There.

Cherubkatan: Good I was starting to get a headache because of her.

Sakura: *glares at her and makes noises*

Cherubkatan: *smiles sweetly* What was that Sakura dear? I can't understand you… seems like you have something shoved in your mouth.

Farfie: *smiles evilly and peels another tomato* God is weeping now, weeping tears of joy.

Cherubkatan: We are all Farfie. We all are.

*On stage*

Peter Pan: Fine I'll go get her, not because I want to or anything… I just have a score to settle with old one hand.

Wendy and Tinker Bell: *Arrive*

Wendy: Why bother going after her at all. They'll probably treat her just wonderfully.

Tinker Bell: Yeah I agree with the pink night gowned moron on this.

Wendy: … You know Schuldich, every time you open you're mouth just one inch I can't help but want to beat the crap out of you.

Tinker Bell: *smirks* But you can't.

Wendy: … wanna bet?

Tinker Bell: Fine a duel… after the story though.

Wendy: Agreed… Warning you now though, you're dead meat.

Narrator: So a duel was plotted for after the story… *looks around* I'll be taking bets also if anyone wishes to make one on who will win.

John: I'm in! *Throws some money at Nagi* I'll bet ten on the girly boy!

Wendy: *half smiles* Thanks Yohji.

Michael: Count me in too! *Tosses out some money* Gomen Ken… but I'm betting on Schuldich.

Ken: *glares at Michael* I'll remember this Omi next time you want to borrow something of mine.

Michael: *pouts*

Peter Pan: Hn… count me in on it too *throws out a ton of money*

Narrator: Who are you betting on to win?

Peter Pan: Neither.

Both: NANI?

Peter Pan: *smirks slightly* I bet they'll both knock each other out on the go around.

Both: *glare at Peter*

*Back stage*

Cherubkatan: Psst, Nagi can we bet also?

Narrator: *looks back* Sure

Cherubkatan: *smirks* I'm betting on Schu

Brad: *shakes head* I'm not gambling. I already know the outcome.

Farfie: GAMBLING MAKE GOD CRY!

Cherubkatan: are you placing a bet or not Farfie?

Farfie: *shakes head* watching is just as fun as betting.

Sakura: *still gagged and makes a muffled sound*

Cherubkatan: No one's talking to you Sakura. Anyway, I think it's about time I called in another interlude.

Brad: Good idea, since Farfie and I need to change into our outfits.

Cherubkatan: *nods* Alright so… we'll just wait for the next intermission to be done with.

*Intermission*

Author's Notes: *wipes brow* whew, that took me a long time to finish. Well that wraps up another session of The Adventures of Peter Pan.

Schu: So when will I get to have hot kinky sex with Ran?

Ken: Never if I have anything to say with it.

Schu: Kenken, you're no fun.

Ran: neither of you will ever have sex with me… I'll become a priest.

Yohji: … Father Ran… *laughs his ass off* Now that's something to see… are you going to molest any of the choirboys while you're at it?

Ran: … shut up Kudoh

Anyway guys, if you've enjoyed this please tell me so I can get on with part four… Hook's rescue and Tiger Lily's demise.

Brad: you have that back wards but I'm not going to complain.

Everyone: Me neither.

Anyway read and review. ^_____^ Ja ne!