Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Unspoken Promises ❯ Chapter 4

Unspoken Promises - Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or any aspect of the characters; they just wouldn't leave me alone until I put this story down. This is my own little spin on Weiss Kruez Gluhen but does not follow the storyline exactly but may contains spoilers. In addition, this has been influenced by the many wonderful fanfics out there, so please forgive me if anything seems familiar.

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Aya couldn't sleep. As he turned over onto his stomach, he flung the long braid, that had long replaced his eartails, over his shoulder. Burying his head in his pillow, he thought about what was keeping him awake.

He was currently on an undercover mission with two fairly new teammates, Sena and Kyo, who had been added to the team after Omi left a few months ago. They were both young, and new to Kritiker, but that didn't really bother Aya. Kritiker also had a new Persia of which only a few people knew his real identity, the older members of Weiss falling into that category. This Persia was focused on his efforts to finish wiping out the remaining Esset cells throughout the world, which was why Ken and Yohji were currently in Europe on an undercover mission.

Aya hated the fact that the team was broken up this way. Weiss always performed missions as a team, even if only one or two were undercover, the rest were there as backup. This was one of the reasons why he couldn't sleep.

The other was pressing into the mattress. He missed Yohji…. his body missed Yohji. He'd only been gone a few weeks, but it seemed like forever to Aya. They had been together for a couple of years now and it was unusual to be apart for longer than a few nights.

Deciding he could take care of at least one thing, Aya turned on his back as he reached for the lube. Coating his hand, he slowly stared stroking his aching erection. Flicking his thumb over the top as he picked up speed, he had a fleeting thought that he'd not had to do this when he was by himself in quite some time.

Becoming distracted from his musings, he thought back to the last time he had done this to himself. A few days before Yohji left, they had been in the mission room getting briefed about the upcoming assignment. Yohji and his eyes met in silent communication when it was explained that Ken and Yohji could be gone several months.

As soon as the briefing was over, they hung back until everyone else had gone. Meeting each other half way, they began to devour each others mouths as they moved behind the back of the sofa. While Yohji was undoing his braid, Aya was releasing Yohji's already dripping erection from his pants. Kneeling down to lick the top of Yohji's cock, Aya suddenly deepthroated Yohji to begin a fast and furious blowjob while the blond could only groan in pleasure. Aya had unzipped his own pants to ease the ache from his own arousal as he started to stroke himself. The remembrance of that afternoon had Aya clenching his cock a little tighter as he continued to masturbate.

The memory continued with Aya hearing Yohji's breathing hitch and he expected the cock in his mouth to explode at any moment while feeling long fingers clenching in his hair. Before Aya got a taste of Yohji's release, the man suddenly pulled back from Aya and tugged him to his feet to kiss him passionately. Yohji then pushed Aya's pants and boxers to his knees as he bent him forward over the back of the couch. With one hand on Aya's erection Yohji's other hand searched the cushions for the tube of lubricant he'd stashed there the last time they'd fucked in the mission room.

Slicking two fingers, Yohji stroked cool gel in Aya's ass barley taking the time to stretch the passage, and then liberally coated his own cock with lube after which he positioned the head against Aya's entrance. Yohji then placed his hands on each of Aya's hips as he thrust into Aya's body, completely sheathing himself in one stroke. Aya choked back a cry of painful pleasure, enjoying the sudden sensation of being filled beyond his capacity. Aya felt his lover pause to give his body a moment to adjust.

"Now Yohji, I need it now." Aya pleaded as he pushed back trying to take Yohji even further into his body.

As requested, Yohji began to pound into him at a rapid pace. Aya could only moan as his sweet spot was hit again and again. "H-har-de-er." Was all he could manage and he felt Yohji comply as he began to pull Aya hard against him with each violent thrust forward.

In bed, as he remembered the feeling of Yohji's wonderful cock deep inside him, Aya's grip tightened even more on his engorged shaft, bending his knees to more readily thrust into his own hand. Realizing he was close to coming he went back to his reminiscence of that day and the memory that he had closed his hand over his own cock and started to pump in time with Yohji's thrusts when he had been close to his orgasm. This remembrance caused Aya to speed up his strokes on his cock and thrusts of his hips as he thought back to that day.

As had happened on that afternoon, Aya came suddenly with a blinding intensity. Biting his lips to keep a cry of pleasure from being overheard, he pumped the last few dribbles of white from his slowly softening erection before relaxing back on the bed to catch his breath.

When his breathing was under control, he reached for a few tissues to clean up with as the realization he was alone came back to him. Missing his lover, Aya gathered Yohji's pillow close to his chest and breathed deep the lingering scent of the blond. His body, now relaxed, allowed him to fall asleep dreaming of his missing lover.

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Yohji was a man in torment. He sometimes wondered what was real and what wasn't any more. His recent behavior was confusing, even to him.

Since even before this mission began, he'd started having nightmares of Auska again. Without Aya there to keep them at bay, they became worse each night. On top of that, Yohji was now sleeping with Michelle, the target.

He'd never planned on that. He had been faithful to Aya since their relationship began and never intended on it being otherwise. One more thing to confuse him.

He thought back to that first night he slept with Schell. The overpowering need to have her. Thinking back on it, he wasn't sure if she'd put something in his drink or not. The next morning when he woke, his memories of Aya and their relationship where nowhere to be found. It wasn't until later that day after he'd left her he seemed to suddenly remember his and Aya's relationship. Yohji then agonized over what he'd done only to find each time he was with Schell, the same thing happened. His memories of Aya faded and he found himself desperately having sex with the woman again and again, feeling as if he where falling in love with her.

If he could only stay away from her, he would, but he had found out she was Esset and was getting important information from her, his memory lapses aside. The mission continued to be successful in that respect. But Yohji felt as if he were going crazy. He needed Aya. He knew that if he could just see the man again, everything would straighten itself out and his feelings for Aya would be safe. He just had to get through this mission and return to Aya. Then everything would be all right again. Aya would save him.

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But at that moment, Aya was reading the mission reports from Ken indicating Yohji's irregular behavior. The mission was moving forward as planned… but Yohji was sleeping with the target. That fact hit Aya as if it were a physical blow.

It had finally happened; Yohji had decided to move on. This was the fact that Aya both expected and dreaded ever since he'd allowed himself into this relationship. Well, Aya was not going to wait until Yohji returned to tell him in person he was moving on. He'd save them both that awkwardness.

Turning slowly to ascend the stairs, he went into their…Yohji's room. Stripping the bed to wash the bedding, he then packed up all his clothes and other items that had made their way into the room over time. After remaking the bed and moving his things into his room, Aya check Yohji's room once more to make sure no trace of his ever living there existed.

Aya returned to the room he had never once slept in, thinking how wise he'd been not to allow himself to fall in love with Yohji. That would have been the final blow to his self-esteem, to have Yohji pity him as the playboy moved on. The only thing was, there was a small mocking voice in his head asking him if he really thought it was possible to prevent himself from falling in love. But then again, Aya had always been good at ignoring things he didn't want to listen to.

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Yohji rushed into his room hoping that Aya was already there. Upon entering, he felt uneasy. Something was terribly wrong. It took only a few moments to realize what it was. The only things in the room where items that belonged to him. Nothing of Aya's remained.

Sitting down hard on the bed, Yohji realized that Aya must have read the mission reports before he could explain… But how could he explain when he didn't understand his actions himself?

A few hours later, he heard Aya return. Getting up, he crossed the hall to knock on Aya's door. No one answered. Knocking again he spoke to the closed door, "Aya, open up. I need to talk to you."

Still no answer. Trying the handle, he found the door locked. Turning to go back to his room, he decided instead to go out and didn't return until the very early hours of the morning, completely and thoroughly drunk.

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Aya was increasingly worried about Yohji's behavior. It was becoming more erratic and it seemed as if he were losing control. Aya had attempted to speak with him about it a few times, but Yohji's comments essentially told him to mind his own business as he was completing the mission objectives. Since they were no longer lovers, Aya didn't feel it was his place to discuss personal issues if they were not interfering with the mission.

Aya now regretted avoiding Yohji when he first returned from Europe. He should have faced the man head on and gotten everything out in the open instead of finding any opportunity escape the man's company. Even if they could no longer be lovers, Yohji had always been his best friend. They no longer even had that. A chasm had developed between them and neither could bridge the gap.

Now things were coming to a head with the death of Asami and the others and Omi returning for one final mission. It was with this in mind, Aya decided to try to reach Yohji one last time. He didn't want to lose Yohji, too. They may no longer be lovers, but he was still a person Aya cared deeply about and it hurt to see him like this.

Knocking on Yohji's door, he was invited in. Closing the door behind him, Aya looked at Yohji closely. There were shadows under his sad eyes and he was wearing a cowboy hat, of all things, over that gods-awful hair. He'd never asked, so didn't know why Yohji had done that to his beautiful hair shortly before Omi left the team. Guess he never would now.

"What's up, Aya?" Yohji said an aloof smirk, as if trying to keep up his image, before looking down at the drink in his hand.

"…I'm worried about you. You're falling apart and I don't seem to know how to help you." Aya lifted his hand as if to reach out to him before letting it drop, Yohji never seeing the gesture.

"I'm just fine…"

`NO! You're not." Aya interrupted him as Yohji looked at him in surprise. Deciding to set aside his pride Aya continued, "I'm sorry for avoiding you when you returned from Europe. It was wrong. I had no right to be upset. There were never any promises made between us. I shouldn't have turned you away like that."

Yohji looked away, lost in thought for a moment before answering, "No, that was the right thing to do. It was the best time to end this thing we'd had for the past few years. It was good while it lasted, but as they say, `nothing lasts forever'."

With every word Yohji uttered, Aya felt a pain in his chest but tried to ignore it. Even now, he was trying to refuse to see he loved Yohji with all his heart. Instead he was thinking, `this was Yohji after all, it's a wonder he had stayed with me as long as he had before moving on'.

But something in Aya had to know, "Was I only a novelty at first and then later a convenience?"

Yohji looked at him sadly before saying quietly, "No, you're my friend and I had even thought at one time that I might love you, though I never said anything. It's a good thing I didn't because if I had really loved you, would I have been able to jump into bed with Schell that easily?"

Aya lowered his eyes so Yohji would see the pain in them. After he got himself under control, he looked up and asked, "If I told you that I love you, would it make any difference?"

Yohji looked hopeful for a moment before sadness once again filled his eyes. "No, I can't lo- …" More firmly, "I don't love you."

And with that, Aya turned to leave, for the pain in his chest became unbearable and tears threatened to fall and he couldn't show Yohji that weakness. As he closed the door behind him, he missed the last sentence Yohji spoke to a now empty room. "Everyone I love dies and I can't let you die too."

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They were about to face down Epitaph. Aya had just finished getting ready for the mission. Just as he was about to leave the room, he paused. Unsheathing his katana, he gripped his braid and sliced off the hair he'd grown long for Yohji. Dropping it to cover the diary on the bed, he left the room.

****

Aya couldn't believe he'd left Yohji behind to die like that. Somewhere inside of him, he thought that Yohji would survive as they continually did against the odds. Especially with Yohji's promise to find Aya and return his katana to him. It had always seemed like they had the nine lives of the animals they were codenamed after. Aya just hadn't realized that Yohji had used up all of those lives.

The pain he was feeling was far greater than the day he moved his things from Yohji's room or when Yohji told him he didn't love him. Even if Yohji was no longer his, at least he knew the man was alive in the world. There had always been the slimmest hope of them reuniting, even though he really hadn't believed it. But even aside from that wish, Aya had hoped for Yohji to achieve happiness some day even if it didn't come from being with him.

Aya was currently hacking into Kritiker's files on the final mission of Weiss. With the loss of three more members, Aya and Ken had been given the option to rebuild or dissolve Weiss. Aya hadn't given his final answer yet. He was waiting to see what these files disclosed first.

Even though Omi had always been the resident hacker, Aya was very good in his own right. After just a few hours, he accessed the files he was looking for. He almost wished he hadn't.

Long after shutting down the computer, Aya sat there in the dark. It was his fault Yohji was dead. Assuming that the fact of Yohji cheating on him was a sign that he no longer wanted a relationship with Aya, he left Yohji when the man needed him most. The manipulation done to his memories combined with Aya shutting him out of his life left the blond in the perfect mental state for the final experimentation Tsujii performed on Yohji. If Aya had rebuilt his and Yohji's relationship when he'd returned from Europe, it could never have succeeded. Yohji would still be alive today.

Long ago Aya had come to the conclusion that a murderer such as him had no right to happiness, but did it mean he had to be the reason for the death of the one person he'd cared for the most? Why couldn't it have been Aya who had died? No, that was to be his punishment. To live with the fact that if it weren't for him, Yohji would still be alive.

Well, he knew the answer that he would give to Persia. Weiss was no more.

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