Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ My Sanctuary ❯ Explanation ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Yami No Matsuei or any of its characters, but I would love to that way there would only be yaoi couples,lol. The only characters I own are Sanaka and Ketsu!
Warnings: This is a Yaoi/ Shounen ai fic. And I won't have. As much as it is concerned, most of the fic is PG-13 with occasional R. For angst, mature themes/ sexual content, language, and rape .
Note: I need a beta! So if you like the fic after just the first chapter and is online very often, then please assist!


A obsessively warm feeling overwhelmed me after my world faded into darkness as I fell. A feeling so intense, all I wanted was to linger in it's eternal glow. This feeling...I want to keep it forever. I wanted to keep this feeling for as long as I love. As awkward as this feeling was for me, this wasn't the first time I felt like this. This warm, comforting feeling is familiar, it's not my first time feeling this ay after seeing the same person. I felt like I was floating on air, though I could feel his strong, gentle hands prod my legs and beneath my back. He, without struggle, lifted my limp body.
I woke up slowly, nose wrinkling at the unfamiliar smells around me, one hand rubbing at me eyes. The moonlight fell in an unfamiliar slant across the bed, the shadows of the room strange. Brow furrowing, I uttered the only phrase that came to mind at the moment.
"What the hell?"
Still disoriented with the last traces of sleep, I kicked the thin sheet off my legs. I pushed myself up, bleary eyes squinting as I raised my face into the moonlight. My forehead creased, my mind fumbling to organize the scattered images of my memory. My concentration was broken when a soft knock sounded at the door. My brain wasn't entirely functioning yet, and it took me a moment to realize there was knocking on a bedroom door.
I glanced around the room. I didn't have a five drawer dresser like the one nestled against the far corner, nor a beaded lamp like the one set beside the large bed, which I noted with growing unease, was also certainly not mine. Another gentle knock startled me and I took a deep breath before calling out, "Come in."
I wasn't prepared for the older man with a disturbing resemblance to some to open the door, but my foggy mind couldn't quite grasp who he really looked like. I determined I was dreaming, but that didn't excuse the stranger-familiar person.
"Who are you?" I demanded.
The older man lifted a brunet eyebrow curiously. "You started to worry me, when you fainted," he said with a chuckle.
The warm sound startled me, his laughter resonating through my chest. A sharp pang of something not quite pain twisted in my gut as those familiar violet eyes continued to watch me. I had the sudden urge to pinch myself, just to check if I really was dreaming.
Instead, I continued to stare at him suspiciously, leaning back and one hand tensing at my side. It... there was a sense of familiarity there that was almost painful, and I distrusted it immediately. How could anyone look like him, how could anyone (besides a select few) look at him and not be happy? His smile was so warm and familiar, yet it brought me to tears inside. Something I did...something I did hurt this smile. Something I did almost prevented this smile or this person to ever exist.
"Are you going to keep staring at me or are you coming down for dinner?" the man asked, his voice hinting at a sudden uncertainty as I remained silent. He sighed and stepped into the room.
I leaned back into the headboard, eyes narrowing as the man approached me. A large hand lifted, reaching out, seeking contact.
"Hisoka..." The older man's brows drew in, perplexed at the way he was acting. "What's wrong...?" He tilted his head. "Did you have a bad dream or something?" I shook my head, eyes narrowed and my heart speeding up faster in my chest.
"Who are you?" I repeated, more forcefully this time. "And where am I?" I scooted to the opposite side of the bed and stood, putting as much space between myself and the overly familiar stranger as possible. The man was frowning now in confusion, unwittingly mirroring the exact expression in my memory. I could feel the moonlight warm against my back and I briefly considered fleeing through the window
The man sighed in exasperation, shaking his head. "Hisoka..." My eyes suddenly narrowed and without my being able to follow the movements, I was next to the bed, a strong hand grasping my chin, his gaze searching me. "It must be painful," he said in concern. "Muraki giving you trouble again?"
I gaped at him in shock, and I shook my head dumbly. The name Muraki coupled with the sudden up close features made it all click in my head. "Muraki...damn..."
A smile softened the features of the man who, by all rights, shouldn't have been standing less than a foot in front of me, peering into my face with obvious concern. "You still remember him obviously. I can't say the same for me though."
I shook my head, breaking free of the man's grip. "This...this isn't possible," I muttered. My eyes suddenly sharpened on the older man. A game...it had to be. I was fairly certain now that someone was playing a very twisted joke on me. It was the only explanation. Who was this man, he seems to know me, yet I've never seen him? I straightened, my anger almost visible as I glared at the man. "How do you know about me..." I murmured? “Are you a friend of Muraki's?" My fists clenched at my side.
"Hisoka," the man said gently, as if addressing a child, "you may not remember me."
"What the hell is going on here?" I demanded. "Where the hell am I?"
"You don't know, because Muraki made it so. He is hiding things from you, Hisoka!
The man watched the emotions move unchecked overmy face and I felt a sudden weight jerk inside me, as if my heart had suddenly plummeted into my gut. I realized with a faint trace of horror, I didn't know anything going on in my own life.
"This...but..." I turned sharply and grabbed his shoulders, my gaze searching again.
I released his shoulders again, resuming my panicking and not noticing the look that crossed his face. "You really are keep in the dark." He murmured to himself.
"But...I want to know." I felt dizzy at the implications of it, and all the attempts to blandly analyze it were going straight to hell. Fragments of scenes I've never experienced burned in my mind all at once. Things I wanted to be explained, things I wanted to know.
"Hisoka?" he whispered.
I felt unusually woozy. He caught me in mid-fall and he lowered me to the floor, I was cradled in his lap. I pushed his hands away, vaguely embarrassed at the brief loss of control.
"Hisoka," he asked carefully, "what's the last thing you remember?"
I rubbed my temple and closed my eyes in thought. "Let's see...yesterday I was with Muraki...and then..." my brow furrowed as I dug through the haze in my head.
The man frowned at that. "Then how long can you remember back? Number of days of weeks."
He frowned, glad my eyes were closed so I wouldn’t have to look at his face in his saddness. “About three weeks.” I answered.
He absently reached for me again, trying to calm me down. "And... you don't remember before that time?"
"I can't."
He stared blankly at me. "That's it?"
"Yes!" I finally wrestled free of his grip and stood, I felt that flutter in my stomach again and decided to avoid that question for the time being. I shrugged it off and turned to him. "Now, where am I?"
"It doesn't matter." He somehow looked very disappointed at my changing the subject. "I'll take you home."
I sighed, not wanting to apologize but realizing one was in order. "Look--I'm sorry," I said softly, not looking at him and his back stiff. "I don't know what you are talking about. But it must be important if you make it seem this much of a big deal. I'm just... confused." More than confused. Then I remembered the conversation me and my friends had before. I was with the guy I told them I would get, but not like I had wanted before. "What's your name?"
"Asato Tsuzuki."
"Tsuzuki..."