Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ The Butterfly ❯ Love and Marriage ( Chapter 3 )

The Butterfly

 

Author's Notes: Part three of `The Butterfly'. This is a gift fic for Lunajl. Thank you for all your marvelous reviews… I really appreciate them. The Butterfly is quickly taking over my life. Everywhere I got I end up seeing things about Butterflies, much like Hisoka and Tsuzuki who are being surrounded by symbolism right now…

 

For example, for my research, I went to get a book on mythology and ended up with a story called The Soul of the Butterfly open on my lap. It was a very cute story that I might yet use in this fiction…

 

Also, you will notice that Hisoka is disgusted with the tanners and the woodsmen he comes across in this chapter. That is because of the Buddhist beliefs on life. Tanners take animals and kill them, woodsmen cut down trees. It's all about Buddhism…

 

Another thing, sorry for demonizing Hajime-chan… I actually quite like him but he has to play the villain in this chapter. Don't worry, sometimes Tsuzuki is the villain in the war between the two…

 

Soundtrack: The World by Yuki Kajiura, Vanilla by Gackt

 

xXx

 

I spent the next month happily settling into my new surroundings. After a while, everyone got into a routine, including me in tasks or counting on my help for things. I was only too willing to work hard, seeing as I felt that I should repay their kindness.

 

In the mornings I would always be woken up by Ayume, who would bring me some steamed rice and tea and usually stay to talk for a little while. She took to calling me her `son' which I didn't mind much. Ayume may have only been Tsuzuki's age but she had that motherly disposition that made those around her submit to her smothering.

 

She would leave with the dirty dishes while I dressed. I would always dress modestly, usually in one of the ill-fitting kimonos that Tsuzuki had let me have. I knew he felt all possessive when I wore his clothes, but in a territorial way. It was like I was declaring to the world that I was his and his alone. I think he liked the idea, even though no one even knew that we were… sort of together…

 

However, even if we spent a lot of time together, Tsuzuki had never tried to kiss me again, he didn't even touch me to give me a pat on the back unless I smiled reassuringly at him.

 

Anyhow, Ayume left just as the rest of the castle began to stir and I would go to Watari and Tatsumi's office, although now Tatsumi was bed-bound due to his blindness. I helped Watari by keeping records in order and basically just doing as I was told. Mid-morning I would go and see Tatsumi.

 

Whereas Watari and Ayume gossiped and talked about things happening within the castle, Tatsumi taught me some history and politics. He taught me the basics of philosophy and, most importantly, he taught me how to form an opinion without sounding obnoxious. It was harder than it seemed…

 

At noon I would leave Tatsumi when his maid came to help him eat and I'd go to the kitchens with Watari and Tsuzuki. Often Tsuzuki would have been working all morning, sometimes he held audiences with some of the common people, farmers, fishermen, even the tanners and the woodsman…

 

Usually Tsuzuki would entertain me from then on. There were so many things I had to learn. He taught me some basics of reading and writing. In the last month I had managed to learn one hundred kanji and all their meanings. Tsuzuki had warned me that I would need to know at least one thousand eight hundred and fifty at least. That number seemed incomprehensible, seeing as each kanji had at least two meanings…

 

I was more confident in other areas however. The Desert horse I had saved from Muraki had grown strong again, and the stable master was going to run him with some mares next spring. He said that the foals would be magnificent animals.

 

The horse, whom I had named Kyuri (it means Cucumber… I liked the kanji and it had amused Tsuzuki greatly when I'd yelled at the horse once, calling it a `useless cucumber'… The name had stuck…), was extremely high spirited. At first it was too powerful for me to control and during my riding lessons with Tsuzuki it would often throw me off. It wasn't until I started to go to the stables and groom it myself that it started to grow calmer in my presence. My riding improved drastically, although when things got into a gallop I often freaked out and would always slow down to a trot.

 

Another thing that Tsuzuki decided I should know was the basics of combat. It was fairly easy to pick up. Muraki had taught all those in his harem some form of combat, as it amused him to pit us against each other. I'd been taught how to use a knife and spear as well as knowing the basics of using a katana…

 

At first I got my ass kicked pretty badly by the young soldiers Tsuzuki pitted against me. The practise swords were too heavy and they drained my strength too quickly. It was an effort to lift it…

 

I persevered however, and I practised as much as I could. Eventually I got to the point where I could at least hold my own against the warriors, who were quite a bit bigger than me. I was proud of my other skills though, with the spear and knife. Tsuzuki rarely fought me himself, but with the knives he had to. No one else was good enough…

 

He also tried to teach me archery, but both of us had disliked the idea. For a start, it meant that Tsuzuki had to put his arms around me to show me how to hold the bow. We both knew it was a test on his restraint and I showed no real aptitude for it.

 

We had discounted jujitsu and judo from the start. Somehow I couldn't see myself as a wrestler.

 

After my afternoon lessons, whether it was writing or swordplay, Tsuzuki and I would always go and bathe. It was therapeutic. I always took a robe now, and I took to grooming myself in my room. It wasn't that I didn't trust Tsuzuki, but I knew that if something were to happen… I wouldn't stop him… It scared me quite a bit…

 

I wasn't sure what I wanted. There was a strange dance going round and round in my head. Tsuzuki obviously desired me. I would often catch him watching me from afar, his eyes warm as though he was holding me with his gaze. Sometimes I liked this, other times it scared me.

 

I was pretty sure that he was falling in love with me. His emotions certainly read that way. I wasn't sure if I was falling for him though… I was so confused about my own emotions and I really didn't know what to do or say.

 

Things really came to a head during my fifth week at Onimidori. Tsuzuki and I were bathing, as we had done almost every day for weeks, when Tsubaki came over. I had been avoiding her because she'd taken to trying to kiss me over the past few days. It was unnerving to have a girl practically stalking me all over the place.

 

“Hii-chan!” She grabbed hold of my hand, apparently not caring that, well, I could pretty much see all of her in the water. She'd taken to bathing at sunset rather than with the rest of the girls in the morning simply to stalk me I think…

 

“Hello Tsubaki,” I said tiredly, trying to turn away from her. Tsuzuki was watching us curiously. He didn't know of Tsubaki's weird stalker habits, it was only Watari who I had told about it. He'd promised to have a word with her about it but it had obviously slipped the gaijin's mind…

 

“Hii-chaaaaaaaaan! Watari says you don't want to court me anymore…” She whined. I paused from where I'd been splashing my face.

 

“What?” I demanded, glancing at Tsuzuki whose face had darkened considerably.

 

“I knew it wasn't true! Hii-chan will be mine forever!” She chirped. I snatched my arm away from her, trying to hide my anger. It probably wouldn't do me any good to act angry with her…

 

“I'm not yours Tsubaki. I never showed any interest in you whatsoever. You took it upon yourself to throw yourself at me. I told Watari to tell you to stop following me around,” I said bluntly. She started crying, not the dainty tears you'd expect from such a pretty girl, but great wailing screams. I just looked to Tsuzuki for help. The Lord was already out of the water, putting on his robe and walking away. Oh no, was he mad with me? Had he got the wrong idea?

 

“Oh shut up you idiot girl!” I barked at her, getting out of the water and rushing to put my robe on to follow Tsuzuki.

 

“You're in love with Tsuzuki-sama aren't you?” She demanded. I turned to her, tying the robe securely around my waist.

 

“Tsuzuki-domo has been very kind to me and I owe him a great deal,” I replied, purposefully avoiding her question. I think I was asking myself the same question in my head, trying to figure out if I was.

 

“I guess I can't compete against him…” Tsubaki said softly. I sighed, running hands through my damp hair.

 

“I'm sure there are hundreds of men far more worthy than I am who would beg for you to be their wife,” I told her. She smiled then got her robes on as well, walking with me until we entered the castle halls. I turned to go but she put her hand on my arm, kissing me. We were about the same height, so it was fairly easy for her to just kiss me and run away. I just stood there, blinking before I wiped my mouth on my sleeve.

 

“Well, you two looked cosy. You make a very good match,” Tsuzuki said bitterly. I saw him, he'd obviously got dressed even though his hair was still wet. He was wearing a deep purple kimono, nice and simple.

 

“It was a very good show you put on as well, Hisoka. I almost would have believed that you didn't care about her. That little goodbye kiss gave it away though,” Tsuzuki said, his voice flat. I growled, unable to believe that someone could be so stupid. Why did he have to assume everything?

 

“Baka,” I hissed, walking away. I felt his hand grip my wrist, tightening almost painfully. I tried to pull my wrist away but he just used it to pull me towards him. I stared up at him defiantly, my heart pounding in my chest. I was slightly afraid but also a little excited by such intense jealousy.

 

“You belong to me,” Tsuzuki's voice was deep, with a dark sound to it. I, however, wasn't hearing my Lord's voice, but rather Muraki's. That man had said that many times. I couldn't believe that Tsuzuki was saying it in such a way.

 

“You sound like him,” I said flatly. Tsuzuki looked away, letting go of my hand. There was no doubt who `he' was.

 

“I'm sorry. I just… I just want to protect you… When I think that you might leave or… you might want to spend time with others rather than me… I get so jealous… I know I shouldn't, you're a free spirit and you should be able to spend time with who you please but still…” He said. I nodded, standing on my tiptoes and hugging him.

 

“I know. I'm not going anywhere and I don't want to spend time with other people. Tsubaki just took to following me around. I asked Watari to talk to her but she's just crazy. I'm sorry if you thought I was interested in her, Tsuzuki-san,” I apologised. I knew I really had nothing to apologise for but… I was still polite…

 

I drew away slowly, making the mistake of looking up into Tsuzuki's face. The moment our eyes locked I knew what was going to happen. It was almost like a force of nature… I knew we were both moving forward, my eyes fluttered closed. We were so close, mere millimetres. I could feel his breath on my lips. I then felt his lips push against my own. I sighed, my hands going to his collar.

 

I don't remember any conscious thought. It seemed to be all emotion, whether mine or Tsuzuki's I couldn't tell… I parted my lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss. It was… strangely satisfying… Like a parched man getting handed a canteen of water or someone with an addiction getting their fix… Except my addiction was a person…

 

“We shouldn't…” I managed to murmur when Tsuzuki pushed me up against a wall. He just grunted, moving to kiss my neck. It had never felt like this before… Each kiss and touch was lingering, passionate, without any ulterior motive other than to pleasure. I felt treasured.

 

“Hiso-” There was a pause as Tsuzuki drew away from me. I realised that my oversized kimono was hanging pretty much off my shoulders. I was breathing deeply, feeling slightly dazed and surprisingly happy. I saw that it was Watari, who looked fairly amused.

 

“I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?” He asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

 

“Yes,” Tsuzuki replied before grabbing my shoulders and trying to kiss me again. I struggled away, turning my face from side to side, chuckling as Tsuzuki kept missing.

 

“No! Tsuzuki! Baka!” I playfully hit against his back. He rolled his eyes and took a few steps away.

 

“Thanks Watari,” He grumbled. The gaijin just smiled, before turning to me and holding out a butterfly.

 

“Sorry to disturb you over something rather trivial but… I thought you might be interested in this. It's a butterfly. It's been dead for quite a few years now, a bad winter killed off the species, but it's quite interesting. They say that when Ichiro exploded, it rained butterflies. Well, these were the butterflies that supposedly fell to the lands. The Emerald Wings,” Watari held out his hand to display a beautifully preserved butterfly with a great pin stuck through it's body.

 

“You don't believe in the stories?” Tsuzuki asked as I took the butterfly from Watari, carefully studying it. I removed the pin from it's body, holding it close to my face to look at it's brilliant green wings in the dying sunlight.

 

“Scientific reasoning makes me think that there has to be something else that created this world. For example, the apes on the mainland, their bone structures and actions…” As usual, I zoned out. I was too busy watching the butterfly…

 

A wing fluttered.

 

I jerked back, going cross-eyed as the butterfly landed on my nose. Tsuzuki gasped. Hadn't Watari said that it was dead?

 

“How? What in god's name?” Watari exclaimed, trying to catch the butterfly. I stepped back however, taking the butterfly in my hands. I could almost hear it singing in my head. It was the Hymn of Ichiro and Tsuki.

 

“Here,” I whispered to it, letting it go out of the door to the lagoon. It fluttered away.

 

“Hisoka… That thing was dead… It's been pinned up on Tatsumi's wall for three years at least,” Watari said. I bit my lip, unable to explain what had happened… I had just felt so sorry for it and then… it had flown away…

 

“Maybe it was alive all that time?” I suggested. Even I knew that butterflies couldn't possibly live for that long… But it was the only logical explanation… I couldn't bring things back from the dead…

 

“Who cares?” Tsuzuki interjected. Watari looked about to protest, probably about to argue that it was an important issue of science. He shut up however when Tsuzuki gave him a very clear look that obviously meant that he should scarper.

 

I, however, was too busy thinking to have noticed anything passing between the two. When Watari began to wander off, I followed absently. I made my way to my room, sliding the door closed behind me only to have it opened immediately after.

 

“Oh, gomen, I didn't know you were following me,” I apologised. Tsuzuki rolled his eyes and sighed. In the meantime I was undressing out of the robe I'd taken out of the bath and climbing into bed, stretching sleepily.

 

“Hisoka… Um…” Tsuzuki looked a little sheepish. I glanced over at him, stood in the middle of the room, repetitively banging his fist against the palm of his left hand. It was a nervous habit I'd noticed that he'd picked up.

 

“Can we talk?” He asked. I had always thought that the question `Can we talk?' was a stupid and pointless one. I mean, well, if we couldn't talk, then you've spoken anyway… And… Okay, I'm nervous, that's why I'm waffling. He wants to talk about the kiss and I don't.

 

“I'm kind of tired…” I said pointedly. He sighed, taking a few steps backwards.

 

“Aa… Right… Oyasumi,” He said, turning to open the door. I found my mouth working before it even engaged my brain.

 

“Would you stay?”

 

Tsuzuki froze at the door. I stared at my hand, knowing that I really needed to clarify that statement.

 

“I have really bad nightmares sometimes… I just thought that… maybe you'd… maybe you'd make them go away if you stayed with me…” I stammered. Tsuzuki's shoulder's sagged, as though he'd been expecting me to say something destructive but I had said something quite nice really.

 

“You want me to sleep with you?” He asked, and when we both coloured he rephrased it. “You want me to sleep sleep with you. Not the… um… you know… Er yeah… Right…” He said, and I couldn't help but chuckle. I patted the bed beside me almost mockingly.

 

Don't look now, Hisoka, you're developing a sense of humour.

 

“I don't know if I should… After what happened downstairs I might not-“ He stopped when I pulled back the bedcovers for him to slip in beside me. It didn't even register that I was naked, I didn't believe that it mattered. Tsuzuki hesitantly removed his clothes, sliding into bed beside me and lying there like a board.

 

I felt strange. I was quite sure that I didn't want anything to happen, yet I was longing for him to reach out and touch me. In the end, I gave into my urges and laid my head on his shoulder. He loosened up a little, putting his arm around my shoulders. I wrapped an arm around his torso and breathed in deeply.

 

“I think I'll sleep better now,” I murmured as sleep began to make my brain fuzzy and my mouth feel like it was stitched together. Oh, sleep would feel so good right now…

 

“Sweet dreams, my beautiful butterfly,” Tsuzuki whispered. I snuggled in, probably grunting in response.

 

“Sweet dreams…”

 

xXx

 

I watched him sleeping. He truly is beautiful. I can understand why everyone desires him so… He frowned slightly; his dream probably troubling him. I stroked his hair and he calmed almost instantly. A smile appeared on those soft lips and I resisted he urge to kiss them.

 

I slowly fell into sleep, feeling content that Hisoka had asked me to stay with him when he could have had anyone…

 

xXx

 

I awoke to a soft kiss. I opened my eyes to see Tsuzuki leaning over me, his eyes warm and loving. I smiled, before yawning, arching my back and stretching my arms as high above my head as I could get them.

 

“Mornin',” I said happily. I'd had a great night's sleep. I felt refreshed and all the problems and issues from yesterday had failed to register in my brain yet. I was still surrounded by the pink cotton wool that you have to struggle through to wake up each morning. I didn't want to wake up that much, however.

 

“Ohayo,” Tsuzuki replied. I snuggled into his chest, breathing in the strange musky scent of Tsuzuki… Sort of like white musk…

 

“Hisoka here's your-“ I heard someone say. I opened a bleary eye and saw Ayume standing at the door with a tray in hand, staring unashamedly. Tsuzuki chuckled and squeezed me against his side. I knew that this must look like to her, but I found myself caring less…

 

“Just leave it there Ayume-chan. Don't worry, I'll make sure he eats it. After all, Hisoka will need all his energy-“

 

“You just finish that sentence…” I threatened, my eyes narrowing. Tsuzuki had the good grace to look shifty eyed.

 

“'Soooookaaaaa-chan!!! You're so meeeeaaaaaan!” He whined. I just sat up, letting the silks pool in my lap as I looked around for something to put on. Ayume excused herself and left, allowing me the privilege of running around the room desperately trying to find something to wear.

 

“Just go naked,” Tsuzuki suggested and after my pointed death glare of doom, shut up. Eventually I ended up wearing one of my old outfits, a pair of silk trousers that were tied at the ankle to make them… poof… out around my legs and a silk top with net sleeves that were more like lots of ribbons tied together at my wrists.

 

“Cute,” Tsuzuki commented as he put on the same robes he had been wearing the day before. I wrinkled my nose up.

 

“You'll smell,” I told him. He laughed and ruffled my hair.

 

“I'll change for you then, my butterfly,” He promised. I wrinkled up my nose, grabbing a comb and making my hair lie flat again. I offered it to Tsuzuki who just looked at it and then sat down. I nearly threw it at him but instead brushed through his hair. He leaned into the strokes and when I brought my hand round the front of his face to comb through the long bangs by his cheekbones he turned to kiss my hand. I felt the comb fall from nerveless fingers.

 

“Hisoka?” He said, turning and glancing at me. I just smiled, unsure how to react. He was acting so lovingly, like the kind of lovers from fairytales… It had made me feel strange… Did I want this fairytale with Tsuzuki?

 

Why was I questioning myself? What happened would happen…

 

But… Shouldn't I take control of my own destiny for once?

 

“Come on, `Soka-chan, I promised the Emissary from Terazuma's Court an audience this morning. You may as well sit in with me from now on. After all, it's a fairly mundane thing, to see and discuss peace treaties and the like for hours and hours on end… I'll need something to distract me,” He gave me an appreciative once over. I bowed, grinning.

 

“Glad I can please my lord's eye,” I replied formally. He laughed and grabbed my in a headlock. I yelped, struggling and trying to get away. He dragged me down to Watari's office like that until Ayume caught him and barked at him to behave. I put my hands together as though in prayer and bowed to her, mouthing `Arigatou'. She just rolled her eyes.

 

“Boys!” She exclaimed, walking away. Watari cackled.

 

“There wouldn't be any humans without them!” He called after her. She didn't grace that with a reply, deciding to take out her frustrations on a passing servant who nearly broke down in sobs under her scrutiny.

 

“She's an oni, she is, an oni,” Tsuzuki said, pulling his cute face. I wrinkled my nose up and sat down in Watari's office. We talked for a while, and met Terazuma's ambassador, a strange beast man who Tsuzuki told me was called a Rougian, after the name of the supposed first of their kind.

 

The week passed without many more events. Tsuzuki would often try to cuddle me, usually as often as I would allow it. I revelled in the attention, often Watari would comment that I would purr. I knew that often I looked like a cat that was getting it's tummy tickled.

 

I also tried three times as hard in my studies, often working until the moon was high to make sure that I learned at least five kanji a day and all their uses. I began to start trying to write simple letters and Tsuzuki said he was pleased with my progress, even though he often said that my writing was like that of a horse. I just shrugged it off, as long as I learned how to read, I didn't mind.

 

I found that I liked reading a lot, and often Tsuzuki would find me with a book from the library in my lap, a dictionary that Tsuzuki had compiled for me for the kanji I didn't know or wouldn't be learning from him beside me, pouring over books, eager to soak up the knowledge. He would sometimes read to me, mostly works of famous literature, such as the Tales of Genji, but also he would show me other things, like paintings by Sesshu that he owned.

 

But it wasn't just my mind that was expanding. My waist line had been getting quite a bit bigger, and where as my clothes from before still fit, they didn't hang off my frame anymore. I had some muscle tone as well, which I was very proud of.

 

It was during one of my training sessions that I came across an amazing discovery…

 

We'd decided to try archery again. It was only because I'd asked to do something different for a change…

 

“Once more… Ute!” Tsuzuki yelled. I let the arrow fly, it missed the target (naturally) and there was a hoarse bark of a deer. We looked at each other and ran into the undergrowth at a run.

 

“Did I hit it?” I asked when we came across the deer lying on the ground. It was a stupid question. Why would the deer have an arrow sticking out of it's flank if it hadn't been me?

 

“I'll put it out of it's misery,” Tsuzuki said, drawing his sword and raising it, ready to remove the deer's head. I cried out, moving in front of him to stay his hand. The deer raised it's proud head to look at me warily.

 

“Stay back, `Soka. It may look docile but a stag's antlers are dangerous,” Tsuzuki warned me. I still continued to step forward until I was close enough to kneel at it's side. I reached out, only slightly touching the arrow. The animal kicked out in pain and sent me sprawling backwards, the air knocked out of me.

 

“Hisoka, it'll die anyway. We might as well take it back to-“ I stopped Tsuzuki there. I reached out and yanked the arrow. I was lucky, I realised later, that the arrow head remained attached to the wood, otherwise the deer would have been left with it in it's flank.

 

I stared at the arrow for a moment, covered in blood, before tossing it away, watching as the deer shakily got to it's feet. I moved forward, wary of it's antlers. It tossed its head and snorted a little but didn't attack. I examined it's flank carefully and gently put my hand on it. The animal calmed strangely, before letting out it's ghostly bark.

 

Tsuzuki jumped, looking around him as many other deer called back. I held my breath, looking around me in awe as the thunder of hooves echoed from all around us. From every direction deer were running. I panicked, moving closer to Tsuzuki but not really knowing what the hell he could do if a stag charged at us.

 

They all stopped six feet from us, surrounding us in a circle. I frowned, looking back at the deer I'd helped. I gasped… It's side… It was healed… Completely sealed up… How?

 

I felt the confusion mounting. The deer, stags all of them, lowered their proud heads. I yelped, expecting them to charge, but they remained that way. Tsuzuki took a hesitant step forward but none of them moved.

 

“Are they…” I breathed. “Are they bowing to us?” It sounded ridiculous. In fact, it sounded more than ridiculous. I sounded like the mad men, the tanners and woodsmen that would preach about there only being one God who ruled everything… Like one man could do everything at once…

 

“I don't know… Let's get out of here… Slowly back away… Slowly…” Tsuzuki's voice was low and wary. I picked up on his panic and began to slowly make my way out of the circle. The deer parted for us and I felt a strange pang of delight in my heart. These animals were amazing!

 

“Arigatou gozaimasu,” I whispered, bowing to them all before running after Tsuzuki who was already on the borders of the woods. There was a pause then the hollering of the deer erupted. I found myself on the edge of the woods, the hairs on the back of my neck going up.

 

“They're singing…” I whispered. Tsuzuki's eyes were wide.

 

“It's the Hymn of Ichiro and Tsuki…” He gasped. We looked at each other and ran, only when we were back inside the castle was the ghostly sound of the Deer's Hymn drowned out by the hard, stone walls.

 

xXx

 

I was drinking tea with Ayume, but my mind was else where. Tsuzuki was anxious about meeting the son of his enemy, Terazuma Hajime… Apparently they were about the same age… Hajime-sama had just married an old childhood friend of mine, Wakaba-chan. I was slightly torn now, seeing as from what I could gather from Tatsumi-san, Tsuzuki would actually have to kill Hajime if he ever took hold of the Terazuma's province…

 

“You're getting fat,” Ayume said suddenly. I choked on my tea, looking at her indignantly.

 

“If I am it's because you force me to eat every grain of rice that's put in front of me!” I growled. She just smiled and poked me in the tummy. I knew I was pouting. Pouting, I've learned, isn't a very adult thing to do. However… It does get people to do what you want them to. Like apologise for calling you overweight.

 

“Don't even try it because it won't work. I'm a hard ass slave-driver and I won't be swayed by little boys who think they can do very good impressions of kicked puppies,” She said sternly. I sighed, looking down at my slender hands. It seemed I was only putting weight on in my stomach… Trust me to turn into a pot-bellied piggy…

 

“Hisoka-kun?” Watari called. He walked in and grinned when he saw me.

 

“Tsuzuki wants you to greet Hajime-sama. He's a little anti-social so don't mind if he's mean. After all, you do live in the home of the man he's been brought up to despise…” Watari cautioned. I nodded and got to my feet, bowing to Ayume and making my way up to the main entrance hall.

 

I was only waiting a short period of time. Terazuma Hajime was a fairly imposing man. He was tall, well built and had an air of arrogance around him. He stank of horse and leather, but that was only to be expected of someone who had ridden from the Terazuma province, which was on the other side of Muraki's.

 

“Greetings. I am here on behalf of my lord, Tsuzuki-domo. I will lead you to him. Is there anything else you require?” I asked, bowing low and remaining that way. I saw Terazuma's boots directly in front of me and then felt my face being lifted.

 

“He dares to insult me? Tell him to come and greet me himself and not to send a woman in his place. Although it is perhaps fitting…” Terazuma drawled. The guards around him chuckled appreciatively. I kept my face impassive.

 

“I will do as you ask, my lord, however, I'd like to point out that I am a man,” I bit down on my tongue. What was I doing? I should have just scurried away.

 

“A man? Can't be. A boy perhaps,” Terazuma's smile was slightly vindictive. I straightened, fixing him directly in my gaze. It was pure insolence, and I knew it. No one should look a lord directly in the eyes, least of all someone who has nearly insulted him… Terazuma raised his hand but then caught himself.

 

“Heh, so Tsuzuki sends someone to goad me, eh? Go fetch him. Go on boy, scat,” He ordered. I bowed and left, knowing Tsuzuki to be in the main entertaining room. He was sat at the far end with Tatsumi on one side and Watari on the other. Tatsumi had a blindfold across his eyes as they were too sensitive to light and dark. He still hadn't regained his sight and even though they didn't say it, Watari and Tsuzuki were giving up hope on him ever regaining his eyesight.

 

“Terazuma-sama's here. He's insulted you sent me to greet him and wants you to greet him yourself,” I relayed. Tsuzuki sighed.

 

“Right. Wait here, Hisoka. In fact, sit next to Tatsumi. I want to make him feel like a fool when he sees you have an important place in the running of things,” With that Tsuzuki had left. I sat next to Tatsumi and waited. No less than five minutes later, Tsuzuki led a disgruntled Terazuma and two warriors into the room. Terazuma saw me and sneered.

 

“Naturally, the boy is here. Why didn't I see that coming?” He said almost to himself. Tsuzuki sighed and sat down between Watari and Tatsumi, waiting for Terazuma to sit also before speaking.

 

“It has been a while since I last saw you, Hajime-san. I heard you were recently married. Is it a good match?” Tsuzuki asked politely. I could see Terazuma carefully evaluating the question, looking for any possible ulterior motives in it. His answer was guarded.

 

“Yes. Wakaba is a very good wife,” He replied. There are no light words between enemies.

 

I now saw the pure youth and ignorance on Terazuma's part. He had admitted that he loved his wife, although he didn't realise it, and now she was probably a possible hostage. Hostages are common, where men will take sons, daughters or even wives from their enemies and take them into their own household in exchange for a peace treaty or some other demand. At least Wakaba would be treated better than most hostages if she came here… A lot better than Muraki's hostages…

 

“I have heard of her family. Very powerful on the main island. I hear that she's Minase Hijiri's cousin?” Tsuzuki asked. I tilted my head. I knew Hijiri… I wouldn't have guessed he was powerful though.

 

“Wakaba is the Emperor's niece. We have very good ties with the Emperor's nephew, Minase-domo also,” Terazuma said, poison lacing his words. I understood what this was now. It was an immature flexing of muscles… It was like two peacocks raising their tail feathers to see who has the prettiest looking. It was pointless. Nothing good would come from it.

 

“Excuse me, Tsuzuki-domo, Hajime-sama… I have something else I must-“

 

“Denied,” Tsuzuki deadpanned. I frowned and clenched my fists. Terazuma was smiling at me, but it wasn't reassuring.

 

“What's the matter, pretty boy? Uncomfortable in the presence of a real man?” Terazuma taunted. I took a deep breath.

 

“I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that there was one in here,” My voice was sharp. Terazuma obviously didn't know whether to laugh or be outraged. He seemed glad that he'd caused me to insult my own lord, but angered that I'd insulted him also.

 

“Careful,” Tatsumi warned quietly. “If you show Tsuzuki-domo up in front of his enemies he'll not be pleased.” I held my head up high.

 

“Tsuzuki-domo, I must leave this instant-“

 

“I told you Hisoka-“

 

“You will let Hana-chan give birth without anyone to help her?” I asked. He looked at me strangely then. I gazed back impassively.

 

“Hana-chan is due to give birth?” He asked. I nodded. She had been in labour when Ayume and I had been drinking tea. I was to be called during the later stages seeing as I'd delivered a few children during my time under Muraki. The only other person who had any experience was Ayume herself, and she was too busy.

 

As if on cue the door opened and a flustered looking maid walked in, dropping to her knees and trying to catch her breath.

 

“It's alright, Maya-chan. I'm coming to help now. Please return to Hana-chan and tell her that I will be right there. Until then make sure that she keeps breathing like I taught her to. Also give her that needle in her back. It'll numb some of the pain,” I instructed, getting to my feet and dusting myself off. Maya backed out of the room and ran down the stairs. I pulled a small bag out of my sleeve, checking that the painkilling herbs were in there.

 

“Please Tsuzuki-domo. She'll die if I'm not there,” I said. Tsuzuki's eyes softened and he nodded, allowing me to leave. Terazuma's eyes watched me as I left. I was at the door when he addressed me.

 

“It is unnatural for a man to be involved in birthing. You truly are a woman,” He said. I did not turn to look at him.

 

“Iie. I just know what it is like to be treated like one,” I replied. “You should look to women more often, Hajime-sama. You have made many mistakes since you arrived here that a woman would never have made. You've admitted weaknesses, shown open distaste and acted like a child. You should perhaps assess your own imperfections before picking out others.”

 

Then I slid the door closed.

 

Oh hell…

 

What have I gone and said now?

 

xXx

 

Watari and Tsuzuki looked at each other after Hisoka's speech. It was certainly… enlightening…

 

“Will he be punished for the way he just spoke to me?” Terazuma demanded. Tsuzuki smiled sweetly.

 

“Nope. Not at all.”

 

xXx

 

I smiled, exhausted. In my arms were two baby boys. Happy, healthy and crying. It had been a long birth and Hana-chan had fallen asleep. We'd been able to stop the bleeding but I doubted she'd be able to have any more children. Not that she'd need to, not with two sons for her husband.

 

“We should take them out to Yuki-san,” Maya suggested. I nodded and took the children out to see the man who was looking very pale and worried outside. He looked up.

 

“They are safe? All of them? I mean, Hana and-“ His eyes fell on the two bundles in my arms. He stared at them.

 

“Two sons. Your wife is sleeping, she had a rough time,” I told him. He started to laugh hysterically and I smiled to Maya. It must be quite something… To be a parent.

 

“We'll name one after you Kurosaki-san! We will name one of them Sakaguchi Hisoka,” He took one of them. I was overwhelmed and I stammered my thanks, completely unprepared for this show of kindliness. All I had done was help things along…

 

“In turn, I shall name my first son Yuki,” I said softly. He just smiled, rushing in to see his wife. I felt so happy for them both.

 

“You can go now, Hisoka-san. We'll clean up the little ones and Hana-chan. You should rest, you worked hard,” Maya then bustled away in a way that only women can do. I headed to the pool, stripping off I stepped into the water, washing away all the blood and sweat. I didn't care that I was dripping wet as I slipped my robe back on, not bothering to do it up, instead holding it together with one hand, the other held my sandals and socks.

 

I made my way upstairs. I found myself pausing at Tsuzuki's door. I had to check if he was angry with the way I treated Terazuma. I had heard horses leaving shortly after I'd gone down to see Hana-chan so I assumed that the meeting had gone down hill from when I left.

 

“Tsuzuki-sama?” I walked through the door and saw Tsuzuki sat at his desk, a candle lit to light up his writing. It was sunset so it was probably only lit so he wouldn't have to bother later on.

 

“Well done earlier, Hisoka. You really put Terazuma in his place. He should have treated everyone in this house respectfully; he did not, so he deserved what was said to him. Although perhaps you should have been more respectful to me,” Tsuzuki said without even looking up. I blinked. I hadn't been expecting praise or a gentle chastisement.

 

“If that's all you came for, you can go now,” Tsuzuki said. It wasn't said dismissively. It was an invitation to leave if I so wanted. I didn't want to.

 

I felt the stirrings of desire in the pit of my stomach. Tsuzuki looked so handsome in the dying sunlight, his chocolate hair lying messily around his face, his violet eyes studying the paper before him intently.

 

I placed my sandals and socks on the floor, walking over to behind Tsuzuki's chair. I let go of the robe, letting it fall open, the cloth gently brushing against my skin as I let it fall freely. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my chest against his back and resting my cheek against his shoulder, my lips brushing against his neck. He tensed immediately.

 

“Hisoka?” He breathed. I felt my courage failing and I knew that if I talked to him about this then I'd end up running away. Running away from something I was quite sure that I wanted…

 

“Hush,” I told him. He stood up and turned around, I saw his eyes burning with desire as they ran up and down my body. I took a few steps towards him, gently pulling his face down to mine, claiming his lips fiercely. He quickly took control of the kiss, making it passionate, fiery, everything I had wanted and expected from Tsuzuki.

 

I began to undo the ties that held his kimono together, never breaking the kiss. He pushed me against his bed, which was in the middle of the room unlike in my own. It was pretty much the same. Except bigger. Much much bigger. I barely had time to think that before I was falling backwards onto it. I had a sudden panic attack, trying to get back in control of the situation.

 

Tsuzuki allowed me to move further onto the bed, and he lay beside me, rather than on top of me. I kissed him again, removing his kimono completely, allowing him to stroke up and down my stomach and hips. It felt so different to anything I'd felt before.

 

“Are you-“ Tsuzuki tried to say but I silenced him by putting a finger to his lips. He stared at me, obviously worried that I wasn't making the right choice. I removed my hand from his lips, guiding his own hand to my penis. His eyes widened and he tried to pull away, but I roughly pushed myself into his hand, letting out a small moan as his fingers brushed against it.

 

It was hard to explain why sex with Tsuzuki was so different to sex with anyone else… There was something hypnotic in his movements, something about his laboured breathing that was intoxicating, something that definitely felt like… love…

 

He began to touch me more confidently now and I appreciated the touch. I felt the sweat beading on my brow and I began to touch him as well, grasping his erection gently, pumping him. He barely made a sound, unlike me. I knew I made a lot of noise during sex… I was just one of those people…

 

I removed his hand from my erection, bringing it around to behind me. He slowly pushed a finger inside me. It felt strange, as it always did. He added another finger, slowly stretching me. He was brushing against my prostate now, making me pant and writhe. Why was it that every single seme always has to tease their uke like that? I'd noticed that every single person I'd slept with had always, not only stretched me, but tried to break my self control.

 

I couldn't take it anymore, I rolled on top of Tsuzuki, straddling his hips and slowly grinding down. He looked up at me, hair plastered onto his brow and opened his mouth to say something. I lifted myself up at the same moment, guiding him into my entrance and pushing down. He lost whatever he was going to say in a low moan.

 

I began to move up and down, slowly. He tried to `help' me move faster by bucking his hips but I brought my hands to his hips, holding him down. He seemed to remember that he had hands and brought them up to my back, steadying me so I wouldn't move too far.

 

I felt orgasm building up within me. I began to tremble, my moans becoming more and more frequent. Tsuzuki was tense underneath me, his brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to reach his release. I felt a coil within me getting more and more tightly strung.

 

I felt the earth move and I realised that Tsuzuki had pushed me underneath him, pushing into me with deep, desperate thrusts. I didn't panic, I was too far gone. I moved my hips against him, trying to get him in deeper. God, it felt so good. It felt right.

 

It felt right.

 

I came all over my stomach with a hoarse cry. Tsuzuki collapsed on me a few seconds later. We lay there for a few moments, collecting ourselves and getting out breath back. The sun had set now, and the only light was the candle on Tsuzuki's desk, giving a warm glow to one side of the room.

 

“It felt right…” I whispered. Tsuzuki looked at me, before realising he was still deep inside me. He pulled out, rolling off to one side. He hesitantly wrapped and arm around my waist and I gladly moved into his arms.

 

“I love you,” Tsuzuki said suddenly. I looked into those violet orbs and saw only truth. I felt tears in my eyes as an emotional overload threatened. I knew that I loved Tsuzuki now, only love would have let me accept a man's touch again.

 

“It felt right,” I whispered. I seemed unable to say anything else. Tsuzuki didn't seem to mind, however, as he just took me into his arms and gently stroked my neck and shoulders. I felt the purr break out of me. Why was it that I did literally do that?

 

“So you like having your shoulders stroked, `Soka-chan?” Tsuzuki asked. I nodded sleepily. Conversation seemed impossible because no sooner had Tsuzuki said something had I thought of something completely different to say.

 

“I'm sorry I didn't let you talk… I would have lost courage… Sorry if I… Creeped you out…” I apologised. Tsuzuki just chuckled and held me.

 

“I should wash,” I said but Tsuzuki's grip on me tightened. He seemed to refuse to let me leave… I let him hold me, I felt far too comfortable in his arms not to.

 

“Oyasumi… Tsu… ki…” I whispered before falling into a deep sleep.

 

xXx

 

I watched him sleep, feeling his small body pressed against mine seemed like a dream. He was so beautiful… I entwined my fingers with his and kissed his forehead. How was I so lucky?

 

Hisoka lay there sleeping peacefully, looking as though he had dropped out of the heavens itself and I lay there watching him… fascinated.

 

“It felt right did it?” I whispered, wondering how such a simple phrase put everything into words. It felt right. Being with Hisoka felt right. Six weeks ago I hadn't even met him, but now I couldn't imagine life without him.

 

I'd rather die than be separated from him.

 

I then chuckled… He hadn't even managed to take off his kimono…

 

xXx

 

I awoke. It was still night. Silently, I slipped from the bed. Tsuzuki was snoring lightly. I watched him for a while, smiling. It was stupid, I knew… It was stupid to grow attached but I knew it was beyond my control. My feelings for Tsuzuki were complicated but he understood that…

 

Our love-making had been perfect…

 

I sighed, looking at my hands. I stood, silently creeping from the room and down the hall. I had an idea. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't. I had thought of it when I had been delivering Hana-chan's babies.

 

I crept into Tatsumi's room, shaking him awake. He grunted and sat up.

 

“Who's there and what do you want?” He asked. I chuckled. It wasn't like Tatsumi to be grouchy…

 

“It's me… Hisoka,” I whispered. He raised his eyebrows.

 

“You stink of sex,” He said bluntly. I blushed. I had forgotten that Tsuzuki hadn't let my wash. I ran a hand across my stomach to feel it peeling off in flakes. Nice…

 

“U-Um…” What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

 

“So, how is Tsuzuki then?” Tatsumi asked dryly. I coughed and held my hands out and then placed them over Tatsumi's eyes.

 

“Kurosaki?” Tatsumi began but he was silenced by a flaring white light. I found myself backing away quickly after that, before tripping over my own feet and falling to the ground. Tatsumi stood up and helped me to my feet. He was looking at me.

 

“What did you do?” Tatsumi demanded. I honestly didn't know. My legs gave way and I ended up draped over Tatsumi, which was the point that Watari came in to see what all the noise was about and several awkward moments passed.

 

“This isn't what it looks like,” I said quite clearly. Tatsumi just blinked at Watari, seemingly dumb-struck. Two seconds later there was no just Watari but also Ayume and Tsuzuki who looked vaguely panicked…

 

“Ah, here you are Hisoka. Ayume said she saw some weird bright lights that seemed like magic and- Wait a minute…” Tsuzuki seemed to have just processed the situation. I let go of Tatsumi immediately and my knees gave out immediately. I allowed myself to fall, landing in a heap like a puppet with it's strings broken. I didn't comprehend much else after that…

 

xXx

 

“I-It wasn't what it looked like, was it?” I asked, hating myself for doing so. I wanted to trust Hisoka but… I guess I still had the mentality of many when it came to boys who slept with men… That anyone would do…

 

“Hisoka came into the room, woke me up, put his hands over my eyes and-“ Tatsumi began but Watari had flared up like a bullfrog.

 

“I don't want to hear the dirty details, thanks!” He yelled. I then realised something. Tatsumi was looking at Watari. I looked at the unconscious Hisoka, and then scooped him up, staring at him in wonder.

 

“He healed you… Somehow, he healed you…” I said in wonderment. Tatsumi nodded and stroked the hair out of Hisoka's eyes. There was a moment's pause before Watari literally jumped Tatsumi. I chuckled, pulling out of the room and taking Hisoka back to my room. He didn't even stir as I laid him down and covered him.

 

xXx

 

The next few days passed like a dream. Tsuzuki and I spent as much time as was possible together. We'd spend time talking, riding together, sparring, reading… and making love. I was so happy. I couldn't believe that this fairytale had happened to me.

 

Watari and Tatsumi seemed genuinely happy for us. Even Ayume admitted that she thought it was `cute'. It felt like we had the approval from everyone who mattered. I was so, so wrong…

 

It was two weeks since I went to Tsuzuki's room when news came that Muraki had turned up unannounced at the gates. I had made sure that I was as covered up as possible, opting for one of my new kimonos of fresh white silk. Not even Muraki could get through the layers upon layers of cloth before someone noticed what he was doing…

 

Tsuzuki asked me to await the two of them in the tea room. Tatsumi and Watari were fidgeting also, obviously just as nervous as I was at having to spend more than five minutes with the man.

 

Sure enough, a few moments later, Muraki appeared. Tsuzuki looked murderous already, no doubt there had been some banter on their meeting. I met Tsuzuki's eyes, pushing away my own uncertainties enough to give him a smile. Tsuzuki smiled back, but this wasn't missed by Muraki.

 

“You've been soft on him, allowing eye contact between the two of you,” Muraki said, seating himself down opposite me. I averted my eyes, slightly surprised when Tsuzuki sat down next to me. He grabbed for my hand and I flushed slightly. For some reason, acting intimate with Tsuzuki in front of Muraki made me feel uneasy. I knew that this was some kind of territorial thing, but even so… It was tempting Muraki to do something…

 

“I have an important proposition for you, Tsuzuki-san,” Muraki began as I served the tea. I was careful not to spill any, keeping my head bowed. If I could I'd stay invisible, that way he wouldn't do anything- Muraki grabbed my wrist, twisting my arm so I had to straighten to stop him from snapping it.

 

“Ah, and how is the little one?” He asked, sniffing my hair. I cringed at his touch and I could feel Tsuzuki's outrage from across the room. I tried to remain calm, even though I could feel my skin crawling. Muraki's hand slid across my abdomen.

 

“Getting fatter, aren't we? Well, I guess that is only to be expected,” Muraki jeered. Watari clenched his fists.

 

“That's because we feed him here,” He said, trying to sound polite. I could tell they were angry, after all, these people were like my family. I didn't want them to worry so I just decided to hang limply.

 

“No. It's because dear Hisoka-kun here was carrying my child when he came here,” Muraki said, his voice a low purr. I froze, my eyes widened. No… No no no no no… That wasn't true… It wasn't… true… Muraki… No…

 

“Hisoka-san?” Simply by saying my name I knew that Tatsumi was asking me to confirm it. But how was I supposed to? I'd only just found out myself…

 

“Of course, that child will be a strong heir… I doubt I'll sire any others,” Muraki chuckled wickedly. I started to struggle again, until his grip was right on the verge of breaking my arm.

 

“Let go of me! Let go of me! You're evil! I'll kill this child! I'll kill it!” I yelled. Muraki's smile changed to one of pure wickedness. With a swift action he sank a knife into my stomach. I panicked, feeling the hot blood seeping out onto the white of my robes. Tsuzuki had risen, about to draw his sword. I placed my hand on my abdomen, healing myself as quickly as I could.

 

I searched inside my for other signs of life to heal but there was nothing… Was the child… dead?

 

“Can you accept your decision now? You're a healer by nature, Hisoka-kun, although your powers were suppressed under my rule. Now you will live with the guilt of murdering your child,” Muraki said calmly, sipping his tea, even though his hands were smeared with blood. I felt sick… I felt blood beginning to drip out from my ass. Oh god no… No… Muraki was right… I had just threatened to do it…

 

“You bastard!” I yelled but the pain in my abdomen prevented me from attacking him. I was rapidly getting turning the white kimono red. I felt the tears of complete humiliation falling down my face.

 

“Now, the proposition I had for you, Tsuzuki-san,” Muraki continued as though nothing had happened in between. I looked to Tsuzuki, to see that he wasn't even looking at me at all. I was in so much pain that my empathy had gone out of whack. I couldn't tell what he was thinking…

 

“We've been neighbours for a long time, and with our allies, we'd occupy all the land around the coasts to the north, east and south of the island. That would leave the only lands left, the three inland and western coast provinces that…” Muraki trailed off purposefully so Tsuzuki could finish his sentence.

 

“…belong to the Terazuma clan and their allies. It would box them in completely if we were to work together,” Tsuzuki said, realising the benefits of being allies with Muraki. However, I was feeling even worse. Not only was I in pain, I had the horrible feeling that something terrible was about to happen. Something that was beyond the every day decisions… Something was wrong, something was happening that wasn't supposed to happen…

 

“I'm getting very lonely in my old age, Tsuzuki-san, and the bed gets awfully cold,” Muraki lied. I knew he never spent the night alone. I was beginning to see what he was getting at however… Tsuzuki's face was set in stone, I couldn't tell if he'd cottoned on yet or not…

 

“If we marry, we can take the Terazuma lands, creating a powerful string of provinces that would give us the position to take over a good proportion of the island for ourselves,” Muraki said. I felt my stomach twist with the sickening realisation of exactly what Muraki was planning. To use Terazuma as a carrot to get Tsuzuki to marry him? That was just sick… And Tsuzuki… he wasn't actually considering it was he?

 

“Marry? I thought that your religion forbid it?” Tsuzuki asked. Muraki's smile grew twisted.

 

“It does, but you are too beautiful to give up,” Muraki said. Tsuzuki flinched and I tried to crawl towards him.

 

“It would be… an opportunity… I have your word that you would take over the Terazuma lands?” Tsuzuki asked. Murak nodded.

 

“You'd have my word. Can I take this as a favourable reply?” Muraki asked. Tsuzuki paused for a moment, looking over to Tatsumi, who looked pained before nodding.

 

“It is,” Tsuzuki replied. I staggered to my feet, blood seeping down my legs. Tsuzuki looked up at me with apologetic eyes but I was already moving backwards. I couldn't believe it… On principle alone… If he loved me… He should have said no!

 

“How could you?” I demanded. “HOW COULD YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MAN IS CAPABLE OF! HE'S A MURDERING RAPING BASTARD!” I yelled. Tsuzuki's expression hardened.

 

“Hisoka, you are not of high enough birth to be married to me. I assumed that from your education here, you'd understand that. Politics and love do not go hand in hand. Marriage is a convenience. You'd do well to remember your place in future,” Tsuzuki's voice was strangely cold. I angrily wiped my tears away.

 

“My place, huh? As a whore…?” I asked. He flinched. “You tricked me! You're no better than him! In fact, you're worse! At least he was honest! I hate you! I hate you! You're a monster!” I turned and ran. It wasn't until I was in the courtyard that I realised exactly what I'd said. I felt disgusted. I couldn't stay here a moment longer.

 

I ran into the stables, snapping at the stable boy to saddle up Kyuri for me. I had no plan, I'd probably head west into Terazuma's domain. Maybe he'd give me sanctuary from Muraki and Tsuzuki… And I might be able to warn him about the attacks?

 

I was about to leave when I saw Tsubaki. She tilted her head to one side.

 

“Hisoka-san? Where are you going?” She asked. I laughed, a cold, bitter laugh.

 

“Away. Anywhere, just away. You want to come with me?” I asked. It was a whim, a stupid whim, but I knew that Tsubaki would take me up on the offer. She'd come with me and keep my company. Also, she might be able to help me get supplies and things along the way. Yes, it would work…

 

“I-I'll go with you but why are you leaving?” Tsubaki asked. I helped her onto the horse, sitting her in front of me before kicking it into a gallop.

 

“Tsuzuki is marrying Muraki and I'm not going to stay here just to be his concubine. I hate them. I hate them both,” I hissed. She looked up at me with frightened eyes and then held on tight as I judged our direction by the dying sun.

 

Hours later I was in bad shape. I had forgotten about the curse and Kyuri had virtually been lamed again. I had to get off and walk her, but we'd ended up in woodland. I ended up collapsing in a clearing, Tsubaki fussed over me.

 

“Hisoka-san! This is the last of the water!” She squealed, pouring some into my mouth. I felt sick to my stomach, I'd broken out in a cold sweat and the bleeding from my anus still hadn't stopped.

 

“It's funny, I didn't expect to die like this,” I laughed. It was surprising. Everything was suddenly so very funny. The way I'd been dealt such a shit life while the likes of Muraki have it made for them… How the righteous don't always win the battle and get their prince… No… I'd just die here with a squealing girl and my horse…

 

“Stop it! Don't talk like that!” Tsubaki yelled. I just laughed in her face, great hysterical belly laughs that only made the pain worse. I heard horses. Oh, this was just too funny. They were going to find me after all and drag me back to that hell…

 

“Hisoka!” It was Tsuzuki. Oh, this was good… A fog came down upon me and I remembered nothing much else after that…

 

xXx

 

“Hisoka!” I yelled. He was lying there, in that girl's arms. He looked awful and he was laughing insanely. I bent down, picking him up and holding him in my arms, trying to get him to look me in the eye.

 

“Let go of me Tsuki-kage! I don't want to be touched by the hands of a murdering half-demon like you! A lying, deceitful devil who would chose to hurt me! Did you really kill them by accident?” Hisoka was sneering. I couldn't believe it. I just feel so shocked. Who told Hisoka about my past? Who told him about when I accidentally killed my parents? Who told him about how I murdered them? I nearly drop him to the floor in my shock.

 

“What's the matter? Don't tell me that-“ I can't take these words from him. I slap him across the face then stare at the red mark, not even realising what I'd done. It was Tatsumi who took Hisoka off me, but he screamed and spat like a cat. In the end, it was Tsubaki who knocked him out with a rock. I, meanwhile, had fallen to the ground, rocking backwards and forwards, trying to dispel the harsh words.

 

“Don't you find it strange?” Tatsumi said suddenly. I looked up at him, unsure what the hell he's going to tell me. What could be more strange than the last few months? Ever since `Soka joined us things have gone from pleasantly normal to spiralling out of control…

 

“Whenever he gets emotional, or delirious or loses control… He doesn't call you by your name,” Tatsumi said softly. I hadn't noticed that and I didn't particularly see the relevance. One nameless warrior was strapping Hisoka to his horse. That reminded me of Kyuri, who was looking pitiful…

 

“Tsuki-kage means Moon Shadow, right? Or is it Moon Light? Who cares right now, we have to get back to Onimidori… And I'll want to speak to Hisoka then, alone…” I stood, clucking my tongue and grabbing Kyuri's reins. The horse tiredly followed my lead and we headed back towards the beautiful castle that was Onimidori. I knew I was going home but it didn't feel that way…

 

Not when I knew that it wouldn't be Hisoka greeting my home-coming but Muraki…

 

Ending Notes: Poor Hisoka-san, ne? The next chapter is in the works. I also want to say that emerald-rei has some amazing art which I'm actually using in conjunction to this fiction. She's on deviant art, this is her gallery: emerald-rei(dot)deviantart(dot)com. This is her ff.net account: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/652199/

 

Her picture actually inspired the oriental feel of the fiction and also Hisoka's entire wardrobe. Her picture “Challenge Me” will actually be a direct reference at a later date. Please check out her art. She's amazing.