Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ The Past is Still There ❯ Move on Without You ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami No Matsuei. If I did, I would have Muraki with Tsuzuki in a heart beat.
Warnings: A lot of angst.
Summary: It has been three years since Kyoto and now Muraki and Tsuzuki think about the past. Their emotions run high as they meet each other once again. What will happen for these two? Will it lead to love that they both seek out?
Notes: Thanks for reviewing my story. I will do my best to update this as fast as I can. Please review and tell what you think of this chapter. This is my second try in third person, so please tell me what I need to improve to make the story better. Thanks.

Chapter Two: Move on Without You

It has been a week since Hisoka seen Tsuzuki with Muraki. He has said nothing to Tsuzuki about that night, but can see his partner slowly goes into a deeper depression. Tsuzuki blames himself for Muraki's death and Hisoka doesn't know what to do to help the man he loves. Slowly walking to the office he shares with Tsuzuki, Hisoka thinks, "Maybe I should take him out for lunch and finally tell him that I saw everything. That way he can talk to me if he needs to." Hisoka makes up his mind and opens the door to the office only to find it empty. He looks around to see the folders are neatly stacked up and done for him to recheck over them before giving them to Tatsumi. He walks to the desk and sees a letter from Tsuzuki. It is in a messy hand writing and Hisoka smiles at the letter before reading it to himself.

Soka,

I got done with the paper work and asked Tatsumi to leave early. I didn't want you to worry when you came back from the library. So, I went home. See you later. Would you come by after you are done at work?

Tsuzuki

Hisoka places the letter on the desk and walks out to look for Tatsumi. Tatsumi is leaning against the wall listening to Watari rant and rave about something. The office is quiet without Tsuzuki cheering up the others and making a mess of things. It has not been the same since that night and everyone can see it. They asked a few times, but Tsuzuki said that he was fine. When they asked Hisoka, he only shrugged his shoulders. He didn't want to tell everyone Tsuzuki's business and kept it to himself. Clearing his throat, Hisoka speaks up, "Mr. Tatsumi." Tatsumi looks over at him and Watari shuts up while staring at Hisoka as well. They were the first two who asked about Tsuzuki. Hisoka asks in a timid voice, "Is it all right if I leave early?"

Tatsumi stares at Hisoka and wonders what is going on between him and Tsuzuki. It has been a week since he saw Tsuzuki's depressed eyes and asked Hisoka about it. Hisoka didn't say anything and he started to wonder if Hisoka even knew what was wrong with Tsuzuki. Finally speaking up, Tatsumi stands up, "I would like to speak to you in private first." Hisoka nods his head and they walk into Tatsumi's office. He waves Hisoka to take a seat in a wooden chair in front of his desk while taking a seat in his chair behind the oak desk. Tatsumi asks, "What is going on with Tsuzuki lately and don't tell me that you don't know anything about it."

Hisoka observes the office to avoid the question and finds the plants interesting. With his empathy, he can sense Tatsumi losing patience with him. He answers with a shy voice, "To be honest, I shouldn't know what is bothering Tsuzuki. I followed him a week ago when I sensed his emotions and found him with Muraki." He takes a deep breath and looks at the angry look in Tatsumi's blue eyes. It scares the hell out of him when Tatsumi looks like that, but calms down his nerves. Hisoka continues on with what he saw and heard, "Well, you see Muraki is dead. Muraki told him that he was in love with him and Tsuzuki returned those feelings." Looking at the floor while moving his feet back and forth, Hisoka whispers, "Tsuzuki is depressed because the person he loves is dead and it is because of what happened in Kyoto." He looks up at Tatsumi and begs his boss, "Please don't say anything to Tsuzuki and don't yell at him for it. I know it isn't easy to see that he could love someone like Muraki, but he can't help who he loves."

Tatsumi can see the love in Hisoka's eyes for Tsuzuki because he has that look in his eyes all the time. He knows how it feels to let the one you love go and let them find their own happiness. He can tell that is what Hisoka is doing even if the man Tsuzuki loves is his murderer. Shaking his head and leaning against his hand, Tatsumi speaks up in a calm voice, "Do not worry, Kurosaki. I will not say anything to Tsuzuki about this. When the others ask, do not say anything about it. It is best that Tsuzuki tells them if he wishes." Hisoka nods his head and Tatsumi replies, "You can leave now and have the rest of the day off. Oh, please be there for Tsuzuki." Hisoka stands up and nods before walking out the door. Turning his chair around, Tatsumi wonders, "How long will you have to suffer to find some kind of peace, Tsuzuki?" The wind hits against the glass windows and make them shakes with fear for the harshness. It is like Tatsumi's heart at this point. He has watched Tsuzuki from the distance but never said a word to the man of his true feelings. It has been like that for so long and Tatsumi doesn't know anything else to do. He hears the door open and close while stating, "So, you heard the whole thing, Watari."

Watari hears the sadness in Tatsumi's voice and replies, "Yeah. I heard it all and don't worry I won't say a damn word to anyone. You are right. It is Tsuzuki's business." Tatsumi turns his chair around to stare at Watari with a look no one sees on this man's face. Watari takes a seat in front of the desk while putting his chin on top of his hand and leans against the desk. He asks, "What are we going to do if Tsuzuki feels like this is the end? You know he won't tell us anything because he'll feel like he betrayed us."

Tatsumi mumbles while looking at the account books, "We will be there and if it gets that bad, then we will tell him that we know. We will also tell him that we are here to listen whenever he needs us." He looks up to see Watari's hair flying everywhere when he nods his head up and down. It places a small smile on Tatsumi's face to see Watari crazy as always. Some things don’t change at work and Tatsumi would not have it any other way. He likes the way the department is even if he yells about all the people here.

At Tsuzuki's small apartment, Tsuzuki is sitting on the couch and wondering if he should tell Hisoka everything. He is afraid that the teenager partner of his will leave him for good after hearing his feelings. He has been putting up shields around Hisoka to prevent him from knowing what happened last week. Tsuzuki was tempted to ask the Lord of Hades for death or ask for Muraki back. He decided against both fearing what the Lord of Hades would say about the whole thing. Even with fear of the Lord, Tsuzuki doesn't want to disappointment the man who gave him a second chance at life. The only thing keeping him here is his friends and a blonde hair partner that he loves like family. At first Tsuzuki thought he was in love with Hisoka, but when his thoughts went to Muraki all the time he knew that his love for Hisoka was family like. He hated that about himself. He wanted to return those feelings to Hisoka so bad but found his heart belonged to Hisoka's killer. Tsuzuki lays down on the soft black couch and whispers to the quiet room, "I can never have happiness. I don't deserve it."

Hisoka stands by the hallway leading to the living room where Tsuzuki is laying and hears the soft-spoken words. His heart falls to the pits of his stomach as he approaches Tsuzuki. He pulls Tsuzuki into a hug while feeling Tsuzuki tense up from the unexpected touch. The room is a mess even more for Tsuzuki. The beer bottles laying around the room with a few food cartons empty. Shaking his head, Hisoka whispers, "You of all people deserve happiness, Tsuzuki. I'm so sorry that Muraki isn't here to hold you and comfort you." Tsuzuki pulls back away from Hisoka and gives him a fearful look. Hisoka speaks up while taking a seat next to Tsuzuki, "I followed you that night because I sensed your emotions. I saw the whole thing, Tsuzuki." He feels Tsuzuki's fear and replies, "I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. I know you can't stop how you feel and I would do anything for you if it meant your happiness." He might not like the fact that Muraki is the one Tsuzuki loves but he be damned before he lets Tsuzuki be hurt. For some unknown reason, Hisoka knew for a fact that Muraki was telling the truth about his love for Tsuzuki. It was the first time he felt emotions of love, guilt, and regret in Muraki instead of hatred, revenge, and lust. Hisoka observes the tears that are forming in Tsuzuki's eyes and pulls him into an embrace while whispering into Tsuzuki's ear, "It is all right. Let it all out, Tsuzuki. We'll your friends and we'll be here for you anytime. Thank you, Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki is confused by why Hisoka would thank him. He asks, "Why are you thanking me?"

Hisoka responds while pulling away from Tsuzuki to look him in his purple eyes, "Because you stayed for me. I have never had anyone stay by my side. You gave me another reason to keep living. You gave me warmth and love that I never had in my entire life. Thank you."

Tsuzuki gives Hisoka a small smile. It never occurred to him that he did something for his partner. Hisoka gave him so much to live for and he will always be happy for that. He can see that he can move on with this pain as long as he has his friends. Tsuzuki figured out that Tatsumi and Watari must know too and they will be there for him too. He still feels bad for not returning Hisoka's feelings alone Tatsumi's. He has known about Tatsumi being in love with him before he ever met Hisoka. He decided long ago that it was best that he played that he had no idea about how Tatsumi felt towards him. He didn't want to destroy their friendship. Tsuzuki leans his back against the couch and asks, "Will you stay with me?"

Hisoka answers without thinking about the question too long, "Always." He silently decides to ask Tatsumi to see about Muraki tomorrow. Even if Tsuzuki says that he will be fine and can move on without Muraki, Hisoka knows he is lying. Tsuzuki needs Muraki to keep on living peacefully. He must stay because of his friends and Hisoka, but it will be forced and who knows what will happen when Tsuzuki can't take any more of it. It will destroy too many lives if he decided it was for nothing. Muraki has to come back to fill in the missing pieces in Tsuzuki's heart. Hisoka will make sure Tsuzuki gets a chance at happiness and he will stay right here where he calls home.

Notes: Well, here is my second chapter. Sorry that the chapters are short, but I'm still trying to get use to writing in third person. Please review and tell me what you think. Promise the next chapter will have more love in it. :)