Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story ❯ Day Two: Murderer ( Chapter 6 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: kiokukaiba 
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.14.2007 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 343 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.14.2007 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 343 | Status: Work In Progress
Behind Blue Eyes: Seto’s Story
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Disclaimer: Do I really need this? Does anyone read this? What a waste of space! It takes up valuable Seto-molestation time! Anyways. . . I don’t own it, and never will.
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Recap:
“I know that he was your best friend, boyfriend. . . lover perhaps?” I shouldn’t have, but I let my eyes fall downcast as he voice such things. . . yes, he was, he was. . . that wasn’t true anymore though. I could feel my fingers twiddling together against my mental will. . . and Jounouchi kept right on running his mouth “I know that he raped you.”
There are boundaries, borderlines that are never ever to be crossed. . . and the only one who didn’t seem to have the ability to see such boundaries was named Jounouchi Katsuya. . . who’s life was currently at risk by a blinding rage that now engulfed me.
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I could’ve beat the shit out of him. Hell, there are a million things that I could have done right about then. I pondered many of my options for a long while. The tears that had been betraying me so frequently as of late didn’t threaten by eyes at all this time. I was past upset, I was past furious. . . words could not describe the absolute hatred I was feeling, and yet. . . was it really hate?
There was nothing that I could say, nothing that I could do to express what I wanted to get across. He just stared up at me like a dog that had just shit on the carpet, and I was the master whom had just arrived home to find the little ‘present’. Yeah, that’s what he was. . . a stupid dog.
I turned away from him, and left the room. I could still feel his eyes burning into my back as I retreated down the hall. I just needed to distance myself from him. I’d likely kill him if I let my blood boil for too long. Yeah. . . that was a good solution. Kill the problem and then hide it. I couldn’t just kill Jounouchi though. . . he reminded me of. . .
His hair was the softest blond in all of Domino, and his playful brown eyes were enough to bring out anyone’s soft side. His laugh made others smile and his smile brought tears to their eyes. His father was rich. . . rich like my adoptive father Gozaburo. . . that is how we met. . . yes, I remember him very well. He was. . . he was my absolute best friend. His name. . .
No, such things weren’t important now and they never would be. Friends, pfeh. What a joke. Friends only existed as a weakness to each other. Mokuba was a weakness for me, but he would be the only weakness that I would allow myself to endure. Mokuba was my brother, my friend, my life, and the only one I will ever need. That boy from so long ago was not important any longer, and he never should have been.
My stomach gurgled at me, a rather embarrassing noise to be heard. It was still morning, even as late as it felt (Hey, I’m used to getting up around four in the morning), and so breakfast was definitely in order.
I wandered into the kitchen, my feet cold against the cheap linoleum. The pots and pans looked as though they had been thrown into the cabinet in which they were kept. Apparently Jounouchi had missed certain things while he cleaned up in preparation for my arrival. No one was perfect, but Jounouchi couldn’t be farther from it.
I scrounged around in the depths, metal clanging loudly against metal until I found a skillet that I dubbed fit for cooking my breakfast with. How was it the best? Well, considering it was the only one that appeared to have been washed before being put away, it was good enough.
Pulling an egg, that I had bought for that fucking asshole, from the fridge, I cracked it on the edge and dumped the insides onto the skillet, using a spatula (which I had to clean God-only-knows-what off of before I used it) to scramble it.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an unwanted tuft of blond hair enter the room with and annoying boy attached to it. He was obviously trying to sneak in unnoticed, studying me as though I were some rabid animal about to attack. I ignored him, however, and he simply stood far behind me in silence. Perhaps he’d stay quiet forever. . . yeah, and I’d fail all of my classes, pfeh.
“Seto. . .”
“Shut up.” Wow, I hadn’t even registered he had spoken to me before my mouth did all the work. My reflexes were amazing. . . but. . . I felt kind of bad. Why in the hell should I feel bad? He’s the one that said such awful things to me! However. . . if I act as though I’m very bothered by his comment, then that would mean he upset me. . . which would mean he finally beat me. . . no way in hell! “Would you like something to eat, Jounouchi?” I said it in the most fake-sweet voice I could muster.
“Y-yes please.” Haha! The pathetic cur was stumbling over his words now! Was he truly afraid of me? What a weak mongrel he was!
Once finished, I turned the burner off and took my plate of egg to the table, “Alright, I left the stove on for you.” I smirked. I was so smart, and so wonderful at getting even. Hadn’t Jounouchi already learned that? I am Seto Kaiba.
I sprinkled a small bit of pepper atop my food and began to eat immediately.
The dumb blond stared at my plate for a long while, his brown eyes seeming to zone out as though he were actually thinking for a change. . . and he may have been doing just that, because all of a sudden he marched over from his standing place and plopped down into the chair directly across from me.
“Hey Kaiba!”
The noise from his voice startled me a bit, but I dismissed the thought of it, “Leave me alone, Jounouchi.”
“No! You’re just mad at me because something that I said came out the wrong way! We’re here to do a project, and we have done nothing but bicker and fight! From now on, it’s all about the project, got it?!”
I gave him a long, hard stare, trying to determine whether he were serious or not. . . my better judgement told me he was talking out of his ass. I took another bite of my meal, “Whatever you say, mutt.”
“Oh, and don’t call me a mutt.” He folded his arms across his chest.
“You aren’t my master, pup.”
“Wanna fight for it?”
“Didn’t we do that during Duelist Kingdom?” Oooh, that’s it, bring up something he hates.
“I’ve been working out since then. I’d like a rematch.” He stood from the table and began cracking his knuckles in an attempt to intimidate me, like he was some sort of badass or something.
“Not now, punk, eat breakfast. . .” I smirked before adding, “I’ll kick your ass later.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” He grinned, heading towards the fridge to get whatever he was going to eat. . . two eggs and an unopened pack of bacon?
“You’re not going to eat all of that bacon, are you?” The smirk hadn’t faded from my face, and at the moment, I didn’t really feel like wiping it off. Picking on him was just too fun.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” His sarcastic tone was obvious, “Were you going to eat some?”
Without doing much thinking, I made a pig noise in the back of my throat. Apparently that surprised him, for his whirled around in a heartbeat and dropped the eggs and bacon onto the floor. The bacon was safe, however the eggs were now puddles of sticky mess on his kitchen floor.
The two of us stared at if for a few silent seconds before proceeding to laugh ridiculously about it. It wasn’t even really that funny, but for some reason I felt the urge to laugh at him, and so I didn’t bother to repress the feeling. I had my hand hovering just inches in front of my mouth, but it didn’t do the job of covering my face.
He had apparently stopped laughing before I did, and I felt a bit stupid when I quit as well and the room was totally soundless.
Jounouchi’s eyes lit up and he stepped behind me, his face dangerously close to my right ear. His breath made me freeze. . . I hated the weird sensation I got from hot breath on my ear.
“Guess what, richboy.”
“Uh. . . what?”
I yelped loudly as he quickly slapped my ass and yelled, “You’re it!” And then took off out of the room.
If he was looking for a way to piss me off, he had found it. The sound of our feet pounding against the carpet filled the room as I fled after him into the living area. We circled around the room, running through the kitchen twice or three time. . . I wasn’t really counting. . . until it finally led back into his bedroom, where he seemed to have lost his speed. I grabbed his shoulder to end the game.
“I win. . . or, you’re it. . . or whatever.” I was panting now, out of breath from running. I wasn’t really used to running. I only ever really ran when either Mokuba or I were in some sort of danger.
He turned around, a mischievous glint in his amber eyes. . . yeah, about the ‘being in danger’ thing. . . I flashed a grin and took off running back the way I came.
I stopped in the kitchen, leaning over the table and using my arms to prop myself up. I decided to catch my breath, since I couldn’t hear him following me. I had to admit, it was kind of fun. . . fun? Damn, I was losing it.
I felt my own breath hitch as arms snaked around my waist. When in the hell had he come in here? My heaving panting must have covered up his footsteps. Then I realized that we were no longer playing an innocent game of tag. . . we were playing. . . that game. I felt myself fading quickly, and tried to clear my head. This wasn’t happening.
I could feel something hard rubbing up against my backside, and I could do nothing but hope that it wasn’t what I thought it was. Again, I froze.
I tried to stand up, to play this all off as part of some twisted joke. . . which it probably was. . . but a stern hand forced me back down against the table.
“No.” Jounouchi’s voice was quiet, but serious.
“What?” I questioned, not exactly sure I had heard him properly.
“I said no.”
“Alright mutt, joke’s over.” Again I tried to stand and again he pushed me down.
“I’m not joking.” The hand lifted from my back and moved to my chest, rubbing frightening circles that traveled lower and lower. . . but he had made the mistake of loosening his grip. I didn’t play this fucking game. With every ounce of power in my body, I turned roughly, shoving my hands against him and sending him sprawling to the floor.
My hands fell down at my sides as I glared into his eyes, a look that usually sent my opponents scampering away.
“Pay-backs are hell, rich-boy.” He growled, climbing slowly to his feet and rubbing his chest where I had shoved him.
“What I just did was pay-back, mutt.”
“Oh really?” He inched toward me, but I wasn’t about to scoot away. “So you think this is over then?”
“For your safety, it had better be over.”
“Oh? You care about my safety now? How thoughtful.” I glared at his sarcasm, but he didn’t really seem to give a damn, “I’ll have you know that if I so much as wanted to, I could take you right here, right now.” I narrowed my eyes, wondering what he meant by that. “And,” He continued, “I really do want to.” He closed the gap between us, reaching up to grasp the collar of my pajama shirt. I pulled violently at his hands, clutching his wrists and yanking at them. . . but to no avail.
“Get the fuck away from me!” I clenched my eyes tightly shut, trying to will this all away. I didn’t like this fucking game! This game, this game! This game he plays with me! The game he always played with me. . . I kicked my legs wildly against him as he shoved me back against the table.
“What’s the matter, Seto? I thought you could kick my ass! You told me we’d duke it out later; well, now’s the time for it!” He pushed me down against the table until it hurt me from bending to far backward, “You know, it wouldn’t hurt so bad if you put your legs up.” He couldn’t possibly be suggesting that I. . . he was. The monster grinned, “I’d be happy to throw them over my shoulders for you, my beauty.” Wrenching my fingers away from himself, he pinned my hands above my head.
This position. . . it was all-too familiar. . . never on a table before. . . but this position. Make it stop. . . please make them stop. . . no! It was getting so dark. . . so dark. . .
“This isn’t funny, Jounouchi!” This had to end, and now.
“Who said I was trying to be funny?”
He looked me up and down like I were some piece of meat laid out for dinner. My body began to shake on it’s own. This couldn’t be happening. . . I was still asleep, I was dreaming, this wasn’t really going on. Jounouchi wouldn’t do this to me. . . he wasn’t capable of something so awful, so terrible, so cruel.
Jounouchi Katsuya leaned down, planting kisses all along my body. Lips on my body. . . all over my body. Hands. . . hands all over my body, wandering, touching, grabbing, pulling. . . my body was not my own.
“Stop it. . . Stop it. . .”
No, they never kissed me. . . my rapists never kissed me. . . only one ever kissed me. . . Saki, Saki kissed me. . . he smiled and he kissed me and he caressed me. . . and he smiled as he raped me. . . he smiled when I yelled. . . he smiled when I begged for him to stop. . . and his silenced me with kisses. Why wouldn’t he wait until I was ready? Why Saki? Why? Saki. . . Saki. . . Saki. . .
“Stop it Saki!!”
I could see his face. . . that beautiful face, those welcoming eyes. . . and embrace so warm that no chill or wind could make me shake. In his arms, I was safe. . . at one time, I was safe. . . he was my greatest enemy of all. I wanted to make love to him, so much. . . but I couldn’t. How could a slut like myself expect to make love to someone and have it mean anything? Those men who had taken me against my will. . . how could anything like that be important to me?
“I love you. . . why won’t you wait?” I asked his image. . . but the image said nothing.
“Love who?” Ah! He spoke. . . Saki spoke to me. . . he sounded different, why? No, that didn’t matter. How could he not know who I love?
“You! I love you, you ungrateful son of a bitch!” I thrashed wildly at him in anger.
“Why Seto?”
I looked up sadly into his grey eyes, “Why Saki?” No wait. . . his brown eyes. . . no, Saki had. . .
“Jounouchi?” I rubbed at my face, “What the hell?!” I shoved him away when I realized my position. The two of us were on the floor, my body flush up against his own as we sat on our knees. . . well, he was sitting and I was kind of leaning against him pathetically. . . and he was. . . crying? Why?
“Seto, you have to stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Going away like that.”
“Huh?” I rubbed my head and stood. I had dazed out again. . . but I could just play it off like last time. No point in looking like a schizophrenic or whatever.
“You keep thinking I’m Saki.”
I pursed my lips, what exactly had I said aloud? “You are nothing like Saki.” That was a fact.
“I was going to rape you.” He stood, daring to face me, “I had you bent backward over the table, and I was going to ravish you, Seto Kaiba. . . but,” He turned away from me, probably because my jaw had dropped to the floor, “Then you started to freak out. . . and now I think I understand why.” Again he faced me, “Saki really did rape you, and you really did love him.” I spun around to leave immediately, but he stopped me, “Stop running away from this, Seto! You need to tell me what really happened between the two of you! If you keep bottling everything up inside you, no one will ever be able to help you! You can’t always keep a mask on to hide the real you!”
I narrowed my eyes, “Practice what you preach, Katsuya.” I really don’t think he would have raped me. . . it was probably some sort of trick to make me zone out. . . yeah, that’s it.
“What?”
“You say that I shouldn’t wear a mask, shouldn’t keep everything to myself. . . and yet you do the exact same thing.”
“W-what makes you think that?”
“Of the hundreds of thousands of things that I am, ‘stupid’ isn’t one of them.” I paced out into the living room, the dog following in my shadow, “Look at this place. I can tell that it was recently cleaned, judging from the fresh lines in the carpet made by a vacuum. I’m guessing that you did that on Friday so that it wouldn’t be in complete shambles by the time I arrived. Other than that, this room reeks of cigarette smoke and whiskey. . . I’ve been to enough bars in my lifetime to know what an alcoholics home would smell like.” I looked at him, and he was studying his own living quarters with a new outlook, “I don’t see why you stay here.”
“Because. . .” He bit his lip, “Because he’s my dad, and I care about him, no matter how awful he can be.”
“You love him. . .”
“Yeah.”
“. . . even though he hurts you.” Jounouchi glanced up at me, apparently understanding my unspoken comparison, “. . . because you care about him that much.” Yes, Jounouchi understood my problem because he understood his own.
I pursed my lips again and sat on the couch, coughing a bit when a horrible scent of cheap perfume was emitted into the air. I tried to let it pass without notice, “Sometimes when you love someone, it doesn’t matter what they do, and it often feels like it is your fault that those things happen. . . you feel like you are allowing them to hurt you. . . and, in a sense, you really are allowing for them to hurt you. . . but the fact that they are hurting you isn’t your fault. They are just taking advantage of the fact that you love them so much. . . and are hurting you on their own free will. It is never your fault if someone hurts you, even if you were to taunt them to the point of such an action. . . unless you are literally controlling their mind and forcing them to beat you, shun you, rape you. . . it is never your fault.” He looked up at me. I felt like a fucking therapist. . . but who was I giving advice to? Jounouchi or. . . myself? His mouth was gaping. “Well? Am I right?”
“I. . . I . . . I . . . you’re. . . wow.”
“You asked. . .” I began to unbutton my shirt. If we were going to be all open and shit, I may as well give it my all. “. . . about my scars.” The shirt slid from my shoulders, and the blond sat down next to me. “And I guess. . . it is only fair that I incorporate them into this.” I turned my hands over, palm-up, exposing my hideously-marred wrists, “Some of these were my own doing. . . I did it not because I wanted attention, not because I thought it’d be fun, but because I hated myself. . . I hated myself for letting people hurt me. . . it took me a long time to realize that they were taking advantage of my love for my brother, Mokuba. Once I realized that it was their own sickness that made. . . things. . . happen, I stopped hurting myself because I no longer felt that I deserved it. I wasn’t the awful creature that I had thought I was. . . I was a child that loved his family more than anything in the world, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. . . and so they continued to hurt me, but I knew that only they were in the wrong.”
“Who. . . are. . . who are they?”
“The ass-fuck that ruined my life, Gozaburo, and his business cronies.” I sighed and leaned back. Why was I telling him all of this? “But that is a whole story within itself that I’d really rather not get into right now.”
“Seto. . .”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry. . .”
“I don’t want your pity.”
“No, I mean. . . I’m sorry about what I said before. . . I just assumed that you had a perfect life, and I said cruel things to you, and I almost r-r. . .”
“Let it go. . . let it go before I beat the shit out of you, and believe me, I will.”
“Yeah. . . I guess I get a little carried away sometimes. . . don’t you ever do that? You mean for something to be one way and it ends up to an extreme?” He glanced up at me. . . he looked so young. . . and I felt so old.
I grinned a grin that I hadn’t meant to show. Heh, had I ever gotten carried away? More carried away than most people that walk the earth, “Yeah, it has happened before. . . but I didn’t stop myself.” I could only grin more at the memory.
“What exactly did you do?” He sounded a bit on edge. . . but hey, he had good reason too.
“You wouldn’t believe me even if I were to tell you.” And that was true. Who would believe that the CEO of a popular gaming company would actually be a murderer? Who would want to believe that?
“I bet I would.” He just had to argue against everything.
“I killed someone.” I always liked a blunt approach to things. . . and as I searched his eyes for emotion, shock was dominant. How wonderful. I knew he wouldn’t believe me.
“What?”
“I intentionally killed a man. . . and got away with it.” I closed my eyes, “Your reaction isn’t a surprise. You think that I’m such an ass, but not someone low enough to take another person’s life.” I cast a side glance at him briefly before staring at the hands I had clasped together in my lap, “Well, I know that you have questions; go ahead and ask.”
He hesitated for a moment, “How. . . how old were you?”
“Sixteen.”
“The same year that your step-father. . .” Jounouchi’s eyes rivaled the size of Yuugi’s. I didn’t think his face was big enough. He had quickly been able to put two and two together though. I would have congratulated him, had the situation not been so awkward. “You killed your. . . you killed your. . .” Wow, he was really freaking out.
“My step father?” I could feel a wicked expression of self-satisfaction spread across my face as I looked him in the eyes, “Yes. I pushed him out of the window of his office in Kaiba Corp. It was simple! I had originally just intended to beat the shit out of him. . . perhaps break a limb or two, but he just so happened to stand right in front of the window, and why miss out on such a wonderful opportunity?” I tilted my head a bit, “Of course, the records will tell you that he committed suicide.”
“How?”
“How did I do it? It was rather simple, actually. Using the hacking techniques I learned from one of those ridiculously large books I was given. . . you see, I needed to learn how to hack just in case I needed information from any database in the world. . . I hacked into my step father’s e-mail account and sent a message to the head of security, asking him to shut the cameras off for approximately one hour starting at three o’clock in the afternoon. I’m sure that such an order seemed very odd, but being the highly-paid employee that the man was, he didn’t ask questions and did as asked. . . such a strange request also gave police more evidence towards the suicide idea. . . anyways, it was a piece of cake after that.” I smiled proudly and sighed, “I went up to Gozaburo’s office, pretending just to be on my way for yet another lesson in managing Kaiba Corporation. No one was suspicious of it, for it was a natural occurrence. After entering, I made quick work of the man, threatening to do horrible things to him, and him trying to intimidate me in return. . . but that day had been one of the worst of my life, and there wasn’t a damn thing that that old fucker could do to stop me! The moment I saw the chance, I charged him with every ounce of power in my thin body and crashed into him, knocking him backward and off balance. . . straight through the glass. . . and he then proceeded to plummet to his instant death.”
“That’s sick!” He leapt from his seat, apparently no longer able to hold back his disgust and fear, “You’re a fucking killer! You ought to be behind bars!”
“No. . . if you knew how that man was, you would have done the same, if not worse.”
“Then you’d best start explaining!”
“Perhaps another day.”
“I said now!” He stomped his foot like a child and glared down at me. . . I was surprised he would even attempt to intimidate me after hearing all of that. What a dumbass.
“I’d rather not go into that today. . . it’s one of my worst secrets. . . and I’d like to leave it alone for awhile. . . Please, Jounouchi.”
He felt silent and sat back down next to me. He scooted close as I watched him and. . . and he. . . he cupped my face in his hands, probably about to say something to make me feel better. . . or so I thought. . . but no. . .
Jounouchi Katsuya leaned forward swiftly and captured my lips in a chaste, yet gentle kiss.
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Disclaimer: Do I really need this? Does anyone read this? What a waste of space! It takes up valuable Seto-molestation time! Anyways. . . I don’t own it, and never will.
- - -
Recap:
“I know that he was your best friend, boyfriend. . . lover perhaps?” I shouldn’t have, but I let my eyes fall downcast as he voice such things. . . yes, he was, he was. . . that wasn’t true anymore though. I could feel my fingers twiddling together against my mental will. . . and Jounouchi kept right on running his mouth “I know that he raped you.”
There are boundaries, borderlines that are never ever to be crossed. . . and the only one who didn’t seem to have the ability to see such boundaries was named Jounouchi Katsuya. . . who’s life was currently at risk by a blinding rage that now engulfed me.
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I could’ve beat the shit out of him. Hell, there are a million things that I could have done right about then. I pondered many of my options for a long while. The tears that had been betraying me so frequently as of late didn’t threaten by eyes at all this time. I was past upset, I was past furious. . . words could not describe the absolute hatred I was feeling, and yet. . . was it really hate?
There was nothing that I could say, nothing that I could do to express what I wanted to get across. He just stared up at me like a dog that had just shit on the carpet, and I was the master whom had just arrived home to find the little ‘present’. Yeah, that’s what he was. . . a stupid dog.
I turned away from him, and left the room. I could still feel his eyes burning into my back as I retreated down the hall. I just needed to distance myself from him. I’d likely kill him if I let my blood boil for too long. Yeah. . . that was a good solution. Kill the problem and then hide it. I couldn’t just kill Jounouchi though. . . he reminded me of. . .
His hair was the softest blond in all of Domino, and his playful brown eyes were enough to bring out anyone’s soft side. His laugh made others smile and his smile brought tears to their eyes. His father was rich. . . rich like my adoptive father Gozaburo. . . that is how we met. . . yes, I remember him very well. He was. . . he was my absolute best friend. His name. . .
No, such things weren’t important now and they never would be. Friends, pfeh. What a joke. Friends only existed as a weakness to each other. Mokuba was a weakness for me, but he would be the only weakness that I would allow myself to endure. Mokuba was my brother, my friend, my life, and the only one I will ever need. That boy from so long ago was not important any longer, and he never should have been.
My stomach gurgled at me, a rather embarrassing noise to be heard. It was still morning, even as late as it felt (Hey, I’m used to getting up around four in the morning), and so breakfast was definitely in order.
I wandered into the kitchen, my feet cold against the cheap linoleum. The pots and pans looked as though they had been thrown into the cabinet in which they were kept. Apparently Jounouchi had missed certain things while he cleaned up in preparation for my arrival. No one was perfect, but Jounouchi couldn’t be farther from it.
I scrounged around in the depths, metal clanging loudly against metal until I found a skillet that I dubbed fit for cooking my breakfast with. How was it the best? Well, considering it was the only one that appeared to have been washed before being put away, it was good enough.
Pulling an egg, that I had bought for that fucking asshole, from the fridge, I cracked it on the edge and dumped the insides onto the skillet, using a spatula (which I had to clean God-only-knows-what off of before I used it) to scramble it.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an unwanted tuft of blond hair enter the room with and annoying boy attached to it. He was obviously trying to sneak in unnoticed, studying me as though I were some rabid animal about to attack. I ignored him, however, and he simply stood far behind me in silence. Perhaps he’d stay quiet forever. . . yeah, and I’d fail all of my classes, pfeh.
“Seto. . .”
“Shut up.” Wow, I hadn’t even registered he had spoken to me before my mouth did all the work. My reflexes were amazing. . . but. . . I felt kind of bad. Why in the hell should I feel bad? He’s the one that said such awful things to me! However. . . if I act as though I’m very bothered by his comment, then that would mean he upset me. . . which would mean he finally beat me. . . no way in hell! “Would you like something to eat, Jounouchi?” I said it in the most fake-sweet voice I could muster.
“Y-yes please.” Haha! The pathetic cur was stumbling over his words now! Was he truly afraid of me? What a weak mongrel he was!
Once finished, I turned the burner off and took my plate of egg to the table, “Alright, I left the stove on for you.” I smirked. I was so smart, and so wonderful at getting even. Hadn’t Jounouchi already learned that? I am Seto Kaiba.
I sprinkled a small bit of pepper atop my food and began to eat immediately.
The dumb blond stared at my plate for a long while, his brown eyes seeming to zone out as though he were actually thinking for a change. . . and he may have been doing just that, because all of a sudden he marched over from his standing place and plopped down into the chair directly across from me.
“Hey Kaiba!”
The noise from his voice startled me a bit, but I dismissed the thought of it, “Leave me alone, Jounouchi.”
“No! You’re just mad at me because something that I said came out the wrong way! We’re here to do a project, and we have done nothing but bicker and fight! From now on, it’s all about the project, got it?!”
I gave him a long, hard stare, trying to determine whether he were serious or not. . . my better judgement told me he was talking out of his ass. I took another bite of my meal, “Whatever you say, mutt.”
“Oh, and don’t call me a mutt.” He folded his arms across his chest.
“You aren’t my master, pup.”
“Wanna fight for it?”
“Didn’t we do that during Duelist Kingdom?” Oooh, that’s it, bring up something he hates.
“I’ve been working out since then. I’d like a rematch.” He stood from the table and began cracking his knuckles in an attempt to intimidate me, like he was some sort of badass or something.
“Not now, punk, eat breakfast. . .” I smirked before adding, “I’ll kick your ass later.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” He grinned, heading towards the fridge to get whatever he was going to eat. . . two eggs and an unopened pack of bacon?
“You’re not going to eat all of that bacon, are you?” The smirk hadn’t faded from my face, and at the moment, I didn’t really feel like wiping it off. Picking on him was just too fun.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” His sarcastic tone was obvious, “Were you going to eat some?”
Without doing much thinking, I made a pig noise in the back of my throat. Apparently that surprised him, for his whirled around in a heartbeat and dropped the eggs and bacon onto the floor. The bacon was safe, however the eggs were now puddles of sticky mess on his kitchen floor.
The two of us stared at if for a few silent seconds before proceeding to laugh ridiculously about it. It wasn’t even really that funny, but for some reason I felt the urge to laugh at him, and so I didn’t bother to repress the feeling. I had my hand hovering just inches in front of my mouth, but it didn’t do the job of covering my face.
He had apparently stopped laughing before I did, and I felt a bit stupid when I quit as well and the room was totally soundless.
Jounouchi’s eyes lit up and he stepped behind me, his face dangerously close to my right ear. His breath made me freeze. . . I hated the weird sensation I got from hot breath on my ear.
“Guess what, richboy.”
“Uh. . . what?”
I yelped loudly as he quickly slapped my ass and yelled, “You’re it!” And then took off out of the room.
If he was looking for a way to piss me off, he had found it. The sound of our feet pounding against the carpet filled the room as I fled after him into the living area. We circled around the room, running through the kitchen twice or three time. . . I wasn’t really counting. . . until it finally led back into his bedroom, where he seemed to have lost his speed. I grabbed his shoulder to end the game.
“I win. . . or, you’re it. . . or whatever.” I was panting now, out of breath from running. I wasn’t really used to running. I only ever really ran when either Mokuba or I were in some sort of danger.
He turned around, a mischievous glint in his amber eyes. . . yeah, about the ‘being in danger’ thing. . . I flashed a grin and took off running back the way I came.
I stopped in the kitchen, leaning over the table and using my arms to prop myself up. I decided to catch my breath, since I couldn’t hear him following me. I had to admit, it was kind of fun. . . fun? Damn, I was losing it.
I felt my own breath hitch as arms snaked around my waist. When in the hell had he come in here? My heaving panting must have covered up his footsteps. Then I realized that we were no longer playing an innocent game of tag. . . we were playing. . . that game. I felt myself fading quickly, and tried to clear my head. This wasn’t happening.
I could feel something hard rubbing up against my backside, and I could do nothing but hope that it wasn’t what I thought it was. Again, I froze.
I tried to stand up, to play this all off as part of some twisted joke. . . which it probably was. . . but a stern hand forced me back down against the table.
“No.” Jounouchi’s voice was quiet, but serious.
“What?” I questioned, not exactly sure I had heard him properly.
“I said no.”
“Alright mutt, joke’s over.” Again I tried to stand and again he pushed me down.
“I’m not joking.” The hand lifted from my back and moved to my chest, rubbing frightening circles that traveled lower and lower. . . but he had made the mistake of loosening his grip. I didn’t play this fucking game. With every ounce of power in my body, I turned roughly, shoving my hands against him and sending him sprawling to the floor.
My hands fell down at my sides as I glared into his eyes, a look that usually sent my opponents scampering away.
“Pay-backs are hell, rich-boy.” He growled, climbing slowly to his feet and rubbing his chest where I had shoved him.
“What I just did was pay-back, mutt.”
“Oh really?” He inched toward me, but I wasn’t about to scoot away. “So you think this is over then?”
“For your safety, it had better be over.”
“Oh? You care about my safety now? How thoughtful.” I glared at his sarcasm, but he didn’t really seem to give a damn, “I’ll have you know that if I so much as wanted to, I could take you right here, right now.” I narrowed my eyes, wondering what he meant by that. “And,” He continued, “I really do want to.” He closed the gap between us, reaching up to grasp the collar of my pajama shirt. I pulled violently at his hands, clutching his wrists and yanking at them. . . but to no avail.
“Get the fuck away from me!” I clenched my eyes tightly shut, trying to will this all away. I didn’t like this fucking game! This game, this game! This game he plays with me! The game he always played with me. . . I kicked my legs wildly against him as he shoved me back against the table.
“What’s the matter, Seto? I thought you could kick my ass! You told me we’d duke it out later; well, now’s the time for it!” He pushed me down against the table until it hurt me from bending to far backward, “You know, it wouldn’t hurt so bad if you put your legs up.” He couldn’t possibly be suggesting that I. . . he was. The monster grinned, “I’d be happy to throw them over my shoulders for you, my beauty.” Wrenching my fingers away from himself, he pinned my hands above my head.
This position. . . it was all-too familiar. . . never on a table before. . . but this position. Make it stop. . . please make them stop. . . no! It was getting so dark. . . so dark. . .
“This isn’t funny, Jounouchi!” This had to end, and now.
“Who said I was trying to be funny?”
He looked me up and down like I were some piece of meat laid out for dinner. My body began to shake on it’s own. This couldn’t be happening. . . I was still asleep, I was dreaming, this wasn’t really going on. Jounouchi wouldn’t do this to me. . . he wasn’t capable of something so awful, so terrible, so cruel.
Jounouchi Katsuya leaned down, planting kisses all along my body. Lips on my body. . . all over my body. Hands. . . hands all over my body, wandering, touching, grabbing, pulling. . . my body was not my own.
“Stop it. . . Stop it. . .”
No, they never kissed me. . . my rapists never kissed me. . . only one ever kissed me. . . Saki, Saki kissed me. . . he smiled and he kissed me and he caressed me. . . and he smiled as he raped me. . . he smiled when I yelled. . . he smiled when I begged for him to stop. . . and his silenced me with kisses. Why wouldn’t he wait until I was ready? Why Saki? Why? Saki. . . Saki. . . Saki. . .
“Stop it Saki!!”
I could see his face. . . that beautiful face, those welcoming eyes. . . and embrace so warm that no chill or wind could make me shake. In his arms, I was safe. . . at one time, I was safe. . . he was my greatest enemy of all. I wanted to make love to him, so much. . . but I couldn’t. How could a slut like myself expect to make love to someone and have it mean anything? Those men who had taken me against my will. . . how could anything like that be important to me?
“I love you. . . why won’t you wait?” I asked his image. . . but the image said nothing.
“Love who?” Ah! He spoke. . . Saki spoke to me. . . he sounded different, why? No, that didn’t matter. How could he not know who I love?
“You! I love you, you ungrateful son of a bitch!” I thrashed wildly at him in anger.
“Why Seto?”
I looked up sadly into his grey eyes, “Why Saki?” No wait. . . his brown eyes. . . no, Saki had. . .
“Jounouchi?” I rubbed at my face, “What the hell?!” I shoved him away when I realized my position. The two of us were on the floor, my body flush up against his own as we sat on our knees. . . well, he was sitting and I was kind of leaning against him pathetically. . . and he was. . . crying? Why?
“Seto, you have to stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Going away like that.”
“Huh?” I rubbed my head and stood. I had dazed out again. . . but I could just play it off like last time. No point in looking like a schizophrenic or whatever.
“You keep thinking I’m Saki.”
I pursed my lips, what exactly had I said aloud? “You are nothing like Saki.” That was a fact.
“I was going to rape you.” He stood, daring to face me, “I had you bent backward over the table, and I was going to ravish you, Seto Kaiba. . . but,” He turned away from me, probably because my jaw had dropped to the floor, “Then you started to freak out. . . and now I think I understand why.” Again he faced me, “Saki really did rape you, and you really did love him.” I spun around to leave immediately, but he stopped me, “Stop running away from this, Seto! You need to tell me what really happened between the two of you! If you keep bottling everything up inside you, no one will ever be able to help you! You can’t always keep a mask on to hide the real you!”
I narrowed my eyes, “Practice what you preach, Katsuya.” I really don’t think he would have raped me. . . it was probably some sort of trick to make me zone out. . . yeah, that’s it.
“What?”
“You say that I shouldn’t wear a mask, shouldn’t keep everything to myself. . . and yet you do the exact same thing.”
“W-what makes you think that?”
“Of the hundreds of thousands of things that I am, ‘stupid’ isn’t one of them.” I paced out into the living room, the dog following in my shadow, “Look at this place. I can tell that it was recently cleaned, judging from the fresh lines in the carpet made by a vacuum. I’m guessing that you did that on Friday so that it wouldn’t be in complete shambles by the time I arrived. Other than that, this room reeks of cigarette smoke and whiskey. . . I’ve been to enough bars in my lifetime to know what an alcoholics home would smell like.” I looked at him, and he was studying his own living quarters with a new outlook, “I don’t see why you stay here.”
“Because. . .” He bit his lip, “Because he’s my dad, and I care about him, no matter how awful he can be.”
“You love him. . .”
“Yeah.”
“. . . even though he hurts you.” Jounouchi glanced up at me, apparently understanding my unspoken comparison, “. . . because you care about him that much.” Yes, Jounouchi understood my problem because he understood his own.
I pursed my lips again and sat on the couch, coughing a bit when a horrible scent of cheap perfume was emitted into the air. I tried to let it pass without notice, “Sometimes when you love someone, it doesn’t matter what they do, and it often feels like it is your fault that those things happen. . . you feel like you are allowing them to hurt you. . . and, in a sense, you really are allowing for them to hurt you. . . but the fact that they are hurting you isn’t your fault. They are just taking advantage of the fact that you love them so much. . . and are hurting you on their own free will. It is never your fault if someone hurts you, even if you were to taunt them to the point of such an action. . . unless you are literally controlling their mind and forcing them to beat you, shun you, rape you. . . it is never your fault.” He looked up at me. I felt like a fucking therapist. . . but who was I giving advice to? Jounouchi or. . . myself? His mouth was gaping. “Well? Am I right?”
“I. . . I . . . I . . . you’re. . . wow.”
“You asked. . .” I began to unbutton my shirt. If we were going to be all open and shit, I may as well give it my all. “. . . about my scars.” The shirt slid from my shoulders, and the blond sat down next to me. “And I guess. . . it is only fair that I incorporate them into this.” I turned my hands over, palm-up, exposing my hideously-marred wrists, “Some of these were my own doing. . . I did it not because I wanted attention, not because I thought it’d be fun, but because I hated myself. . . I hated myself for letting people hurt me. . . it took me a long time to realize that they were taking advantage of my love for my brother, Mokuba. Once I realized that it was their own sickness that made. . . things. . . happen, I stopped hurting myself because I no longer felt that I deserved it. I wasn’t the awful creature that I had thought I was. . . I was a child that loved his family more than anything in the world, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. . . and so they continued to hurt me, but I knew that only they were in the wrong.”
“Who. . . are. . . who are they?”
“The ass-fuck that ruined my life, Gozaburo, and his business cronies.” I sighed and leaned back. Why was I telling him all of this? “But that is a whole story within itself that I’d really rather not get into right now.”
“Seto. . .”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry. . .”
“I don’t want your pity.”
“No, I mean. . . I’m sorry about what I said before. . . I just assumed that you had a perfect life, and I said cruel things to you, and I almost r-r. . .”
“Let it go. . . let it go before I beat the shit out of you, and believe me, I will.”
“Yeah. . . I guess I get a little carried away sometimes. . . don’t you ever do that? You mean for something to be one way and it ends up to an extreme?” He glanced up at me. . . he looked so young. . . and I felt so old.
I grinned a grin that I hadn’t meant to show. Heh, had I ever gotten carried away? More carried away than most people that walk the earth, “Yeah, it has happened before. . . but I didn’t stop myself.” I could only grin more at the memory.
“What exactly did you do?” He sounded a bit on edge. . . but hey, he had good reason too.
“You wouldn’t believe me even if I were to tell you.” And that was true. Who would believe that the CEO of a popular gaming company would actually be a murderer? Who would want to believe that?
“I bet I would.” He just had to argue against everything.
“I killed someone.” I always liked a blunt approach to things. . . and as I searched his eyes for emotion, shock was dominant. How wonderful. I knew he wouldn’t believe me.
“What?”
“I intentionally killed a man. . . and got away with it.” I closed my eyes, “Your reaction isn’t a surprise. You think that I’m such an ass, but not someone low enough to take another person’s life.” I cast a side glance at him briefly before staring at the hands I had clasped together in my lap, “Well, I know that you have questions; go ahead and ask.”
He hesitated for a moment, “How. . . how old were you?”
“Sixteen.”
“The same year that your step-father. . .” Jounouchi’s eyes rivaled the size of Yuugi’s. I didn’t think his face was big enough. He had quickly been able to put two and two together though. I would have congratulated him, had the situation not been so awkward. “You killed your. . . you killed your. . .” Wow, he was really freaking out.
“My step father?” I could feel a wicked expression of self-satisfaction spread across my face as I looked him in the eyes, “Yes. I pushed him out of the window of his office in Kaiba Corp. It was simple! I had originally just intended to beat the shit out of him. . . perhaps break a limb or two, but he just so happened to stand right in front of the window, and why miss out on such a wonderful opportunity?” I tilted my head a bit, “Of course, the records will tell you that he committed suicide.”
“How?”
“How did I do it? It was rather simple, actually. Using the hacking techniques I learned from one of those ridiculously large books I was given. . . you see, I needed to learn how to hack just in case I needed information from any database in the world. . . I hacked into my step father’s e-mail account and sent a message to the head of security, asking him to shut the cameras off for approximately one hour starting at three o’clock in the afternoon. I’m sure that such an order seemed very odd, but being the highly-paid employee that the man was, he didn’t ask questions and did as asked. . . such a strange request also gave police more evidence towards the suicide idea. . . anyways, it was a piece of cake after that.” I smiled proudly and sighed, “I went up to Gozaburo’s office, pretending just to be on my way for yet another lesson in managing Kaiba Corporation. No one was suspicious of it, for it was a natural occurrence. After entering, I made quick work of the man, threatening to do horrible things to him, and him trying to intimidate me in return. . . but that day had been one of the worst of my life, and there wasn’t a damn thing that that old fucker could do to stop me! The moment I saw the chance, I charged him with every ounce of power in my thin body and crashed into him, knocking him backward and off balance. . . straight through the glass. . . and he then proceeded to plummet to his instant death.”
“That’s sick!” He leapt from his seat, apparently no longer able to hold back his disgust and fear, “You’re a fucking killer! You ought to be behind bars!”
“No. . . if you knew how that man was, you would have done the same, if not worse.”
“Then you’d best start explaining!”
“Perhaps another day.”
“I said now!” He stomped his foot like a child and glared down at me. . . I was surprised he would even attempt to intimidate me after hearing all of that. What a dumbass.
“I’d rather not go into that today. . . it’s one of my worst secrets. . . and I’d like to leave it alone for awhile. . . Please, Jounouchi.”
He felt silent and sat back down next to me. He scooted close as I watched him and. . . and he. . . he cupped my face in his hands, probably about to say something to make me feel better. . . or so I thought. . . but no. . .
Jounouchi Katsuya leaned forward swiftly and captured my lips in a chaste, yet gentle kiss.
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