Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story ❯ Day Six: Where Are You? ( Chapter 20 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: kiokukaiba 
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.05.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.2K | Visits: 496 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.05.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.2K | Visits: 496 | Status: Work In Progress
Behind Blue Eyes: Seto’s Story
- - -
Don’t forget to visit the Behind Blue Eyes Forum! The link is on my profile.
Alright you guys. During this chapter, Seto is not mentally there, so this is bound to get very confusing if you don’t read it along with the original chapter, okay? Just warning you ahead of time.
I should update more than once every six months. . . don’t you all agree? (My apologies!)
Enjoy!
Notes: Things that either happened in the past or are illusions will be written in italics.
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. . . k?
- - -
Recap:
Jounouchi Katsuya, will you be the same way some day? Will you also expect more from me than I am willing to give? Katsuya. . . will you just become another Saki?
My world went black with the scent of my own blood engulfing my senses.
- - -
“Seto!”
The name, my name, rang in my ears. . . but was it real? I listened, but heard nothing. Here in the dark, there was nothing. The sound of someone calling my name was too good to be true. My eyes wouldn’t open, couldn’t open. Or perhaps they were open and I was simply blind. Would that really matter? I wouldn’t ever have to see my hideous body, my hideous face, ever again. I had been blind all of my life, really, falling for fake identities and false promises. Child genius my ass.
Where was this? Where was I now? It felt almost like. . . a bed?
Oh. . .
My eyes opened instantly (so they had been closed after all), and the light overhead came on.
He was still here. Why did he turn the light on? So he could get a better look at his work? Look at me. Look at this beautiful disaster, this elegant waste of life. Look at the wonderful Kaiba Seto now. Only Saki could make me feel this way. Only him.
Footsteps approached and I wanted to close my eyes again. If I can’t see him, then maybe he’ll disappear into thin air, like the monsters I hid from as a small child. If you can’t see them, they can’t see you, right? No. Lies, all lies. Why are children always lied to? Are they deserving of that? Ignorance. I’d give anything to be ignorant again.
“Seto.”
My name again. The voice was a whisper with no identity, but I wasn’t going to play a fool this time. There was only one person here with me. The one that I longed for never came. . . but there was still a chance, right?
“Seto!”
Stop it. Stop screaming at me. I can hear you, and I don’t ever want to hear you again. Why, after so long, have you come back? The ghost of my past. . . why is it still haunting me, even now? I wanted to yell back, but my mouth apparently knew better than to obey me. My body always seemed to go against my wishes. Even now, all that I can do is lie down and take it like the slut that I am. Like the whore that I was trained to be.
The bed shook suddenly, loud creaks accompanying this new movement. Rough hands latched onto my shoulders, shaking me roughly. Again? He wanted more? Not again. I’d die if I had to do this again. I can’t. . . I can’t. . .
“Seto! Seto! It’s me, Katsuya!”
Liar! Fucking liar! Using that name. I knew better. If Katsuya were here, this wouldn’t have happened to me. I’d be okay. Katsuya never came. . . Katsuya. . . I knew Katsuya’s voice well enough. The voice that I heard now was so distorted and strange.
“Look at me! Look at me!”
My body finally gave in, my head falling to the side. A foggy shape greeted my eyes. Was that a person? Why was everything so out of focus? Saki was right there. He was still here after all.
“Kat-su-ya. . .” I think Saki said something then, probably trying to shut me up. I had to keep resisting, even now. “Katsuya will come home. He’ll find you here.”
Were my words even audible? I could hardly hear them. That voice didn’t belong to me. It sounded so tired, so pained. Pain. . . my whole body felt numb with it.
He didn’t say a word this time, his phantom-like form frozen in place. Was it working?
“He told me that he would never let you touch me again, not you or anyone else. He doesn’t break promises like you did, Saki.” I smiled, but who was I trying to convince? Jou doesn’t break his promises. . . he didn’t. Katsuya didn’t lie. “Where are you Katsuya?” I could feel something warm against my face. I wasn’t allowed to cry, but I just couldn’t help it. Saki would hurt me for crying. “Where are you?” Why wasn’t Katsuya coming? It had been an eternity since he went out with his friends. Did he leave me forever? Or what if. . . what if he came home and Saki killed him?
“Snap out of it, Seto! Please wake up! I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I’m so sorry!”
Wake. . . up?
I could feel my arms being violently tugged on, pain searing through my wrists as though I was being stabbed by a thousand knives again and again. I wanted to call out, to scream. . . but that’s what they always wanted most. I wouldn’t give in. . . not this time.
“Seto, please, I want to help you. I couldn’t stop this from happening, but please let me help you through this!”
Saki. . . why do you think that I would fall for those lies again? That’s what you always said when the others would hurt me. . . when you were only buying time until you could have a turn.
Hands fell to my cheeks, and the fingers were surprisingly soft and gentle. . . it was familiar somehow. The entire room felt warmer.
“Seto, do you know where he put the key to those handcuffs?”
Saki? No, couldn’t be. . . this person, this angel, wanted to get rid of the handcuffs? It simply couldn’t be Saki, but the voice remained unfamiliar, the face invisible to my eyes. A real angel then? Or perhaps this was all some long and hopeless dream. . .
I turned my head to the other direction, where I last remember Saki setting something down. Surely if he had placed the key anywhere, it was over there. Had he said something about a key? My memory failed me. . . and for that, I was truly thankful.
The bed shook lightly as the extra weight left. Silence ensued, followed by a random outburst of something along the lines of “I hate him! I fucking hate him!” Hate him? Hate who? I could certainly make a long list of men that I hated. Where could I possibly begin?
There was a bit more tugging at my arms, until I felt them fall carelessly to the pillow beneath my head.
“Seto, I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
Take care. . . of me. . .
“Seto, I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
“Take care of me?”
“Yeah. I’ve seen the way that your adoptive father treats you. It’s disgusting, Seto. Don’t even pretend that it doesn’t bother you.”
“Of course it bothers me.” I sat on the edge of my bed, my legs looking thinner than I remembered. “It’s not like I can do much about it. Even if I report it, that bastard will find some way to dig himself out of any mess that I create for him, and then there will be hell to pay on my end. . . or worse, he would hurt Mokuba.”
“Which is why I’m going to take care of you, Seto.” Saki smiled. His teeth were so white and so beautiful. His smile seemed to light up the entire world. The way his silver eyes reflected the sun made them appear to be glowing. He really was like someone from a fantasy novel. I loved novels. Saki was my white knight, I guess. . .
“From this day onward, I will always protect you, Seto-koi.”
From this day onward, huh? Lies. . . all lies. . .
I could no longer feel the bed beneath me, but rather a cold floor. The light here was much brighter, and there was a faint sound of running water. Perhaps it was simply my hearing that was faint. Was this a bathroom? How did I get here? No matter how many times I was to be bathed, it was still impossible to make me clean. My entire body was permanently stained. . . stained by the filth of this world.
My eyes slid shut with a will of their own, and I didn’t have the mind to open them.
“It’s alright now, I’m here for you. Just close your eyes, Seto. There now, that’s a good boy. Shh. . .”
I was crushed as much against his chest as I physically could be, my whole body shaking with sobbing and coughing. The tears soaked into his shirt, which I held fisted in both hands, but he didn’t mind. He only smiled down at me with that loving smile of his. There was a look of sadness in his eyes, though.
“I c-can’t d-do this an-n-nymore, S-saki!” I felt so pathetic choking out words through sobs, but Saki never saw me as pathetic. He always made me feel better. Always.
“If anyone ever tries to hurt you, I will be there for you.”
“Do you promise?” My small voice was muffled against his shirt.
“I promise.”
Promise. . . what exactly was a promise? Didn’t a promise mean that the one who made it had to stick to their word no matter what? At least, that’s what I had always been told that it meant. I suppose that even I can be wrong sometimes. . .
“I won’t let Saki touch you, I won’t let anyone from school touch you either, or anyone at the mall or at the grocery store or on the street or at your own company! No one will touch you, no one will kiss you, no one will follow you. . . and absolutely no one will rape you.”
Tch. Promises, promises. Everyone loves to make promises. Even I had made my own promises. Jounouchi Katsuya. . . he had made promises as well, but could he keep them? Clearly not. Who had ever kept their promise to me?
“Since you promised that you’d never leave me, I promise that I’ll never leave you either, big brother!”
Mokuba. Mokuba has always been the one person that was closest to me, but how close is he really? He doesn’t know much, as far as I know, and I never actually planned to tell him anything about what happened when we lived under Gozaburo’s rule. The one person that could keep a promise to me, and I was keeping secrets from him. Some big brother I am.
“You’re the best big brother ever!” “I love you, big brother!”
Every time he said those words to me I would cringe. I’m not the best, I’m far from it, probably closer to the worst. Love me? Why? What have I ever done to deserve the love of anybody? What is one good quality that I have that I can say is worthy of love?
“You have a nice body.”
No.
“You have a nice ass.”
No.
“You have so much money!”
No!
“No need to thank me. That smile is worth it. . . you know.”
My smile is. . . worth it?
“Saki was right when he said you were pretty when you cry, but. . . you’re beautiful when you smile.”
Jounouchi. . . So many times he had said kind things to me. Had they been significant then? I couldn’t really remember, and yet now they stand out so clearly. Beautiful when I smile. My smile is worth it. My. . . happiness?
“Kat. . . su. . . ya. . .” I could feel some kind of warmth surrounding me, but I didn’t care to discover its identity. A voice called out to me, but the words were foreign. . . yet the tone was familiar. It was the last lingering bit of consciousness that I could recall. . . for the first time in a while, I felt at peace.
- - -
“Oh my God! Kaiba!”
I woke to the sound of my own surname, but my eyes refused to open. In fact, my entire body remained useless to me. Who was the owner of that voice? It was annoyingly familiar. . . it wasn’t Jou. Where was I? Had he taken me somewhere? No one could find out about this! I could faintly feel and even hear my own heart pounding in my chest. Thump, thump, thump, a heavy vibration ringing in my head, throughout my body. I felt so weak, like I wanted to go to sleep again.
More words, this time inaudible above my own heart. The pounding grew louder and I began to feel a little sick. How many people were around me now? It seemed like several, but I couldn’t be so sure. . .
“How many people was it this time, Seto?” His beautiful silver eyes peered right through me. Why would he ask? It seemed that he always knew the answers anyhow. Why did he want to hear the words from me?
I turned my attention to my hands, which were clasped together in my lap, my legs swinging back and forth nervously as I sat on the edge of my own bed.
“Come on Seto; you can tell me anything.” Saki was so persistent.
“I can’t tell you a number when I don’t even know.”
“You can’t even guess?” He seemed a little taken aback.
“I couldn’t see them.” The thought made me feel so ashamed. My enemy took advantage of me and I was blind to the entire event. The story of my life, really. I was there to be taken advantage of. Disgusting little whore.
“Couldn’t see them?” He didn’t even try to force a pitiful smile, but rather simply turned my face up with a hand on my chin. “Well, you can see me, right?”
What kind of question was that? “Of course I can see you. . .” It hurt so much to see him. Why did he care so much about me? Just looking into his eyes, I felt that he might just disappear.
“Well, you will always be able to see me. Whenever you want to see me, I’ll be there. I promise. . .”
Promises, promises. No more promises.
“. . . If anyone takes care of Seto, it’s me.”
Takes care of me? Who? That voice sounded like. . .
“Jounouchi, Kaiba is a strong young man,”
Strong? They’re all so gullible, aren’t they?
“he doesn’t need someone sitting by his bedside until he wakes up.”
Do I need it? Perhaps not. . . but it would be wonderful to wake up to a kind, reassuring face. I miss that from when Mokuba used to be afraid of the dark. . . it’s painful to wake up alone.
There was more shouting from. . . Jounouchi? I only caught bits and pieces. I could feel my mind fading fast. I know, however, that the word wrong was said a couple times. . . I also heard the phrase ‘Seto needs’, which is also correct. I do need. I need a lot more than anyone thinks. . . a lot more than I think.
Silence followed the long outburst and the wait seemed like an eternity. The darkness behind my eyelids almost looked like it was spinning and I could feel my heartbeat slow drastically. The voices picked up again, but were very hushed, each different tone melting into the other until I couldn’t even make out individual syllables anymore.
Jou wanted to take care of me. Why did he want to take care of me?
Why did he care about me so much?
No. Jou was certainly different. Back when Katsuya and I used to fight all the time, I could tell that he had a very big heart. The way that he spoke to his friends, the lengths that he went to to protect those that he loved. . . his heart was bursting with genuine kindness. With such a personality. . . he must hurt when others hurt too.
I could feel my body physically jerk as I mentally flenched at the though. Was I causing Katsuya emotional pain? If only he didn’t care about me. . . then he wouldn’t have to hurt like I do.
If only he didn’t care about me. . .
- - -
Um. . . so yeah. That was the chapter. What do I dare say? Merry belated Christmas? Happy belated New Year? Happy belated Easter, Saint Patricks Day, and Memorial Day? Honestly. . . it has been way too long since I last updated. But you all are probably used to my severe procrastination by now, right? . . . is anyone even reading this anymore, or has everyone given up on me? For those of you that are left, thank you so much for hanging in there! You certainly haven’t left my thoughts!
- - -
Don’t forget to visit the Behind Blue Eyes Forum! The link is on my profile.
Alright you guys. During this chapter, Seto is not mentally there, so this is bound to get very confusing if you don’t read it along with the original chapter, okay? Just warning you ahead of time.
I should update more than once every six months. . . don’t you all agree? (My apologies!)
Enjoy!
Notes: Things that either happened in the past or are illusions will be written in italics.
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. . . k?
- - -
Recap:
Jounouchi Katsuya, will you be the same way some day? Will you also expect more from me than I am willing to give? Katsuya. . . will you just become another Saki?
My world went black with the scent of my own blood engulfing my senses.
- - -
“Seto!”
The name, my name, rang in my ears. . . but was it real? I listened, but heard nothing. Here in the dark, there was nothing. The sound of someone calling my name was too good to be true. My eyes wouldn’t open, couldn’t open. Or perhaps they were open and I was simply blind. Would that really matter? I wouldn’t ever have to see my hideous body, my hideous face, ever again. I had been blind all of my life, really, falling for fake identities and false promises. Child genius my ass.
Where was this? Where was I now? It felt almost like. . . a bed?
Oh. . .
My eyes opened instantly (so they had been closed after all), and the light overhead came on.
He was still here. Why did he turn the light on? So he could get a better look at his work? Look at me. Look at this beautiful disaster, this elegant waste of life. Look at the wonderful Kaiba Seto now. Only Saki could make me feel this way. Only him.
Footsteps approached and I wanted to close my eyes again. If I can’t see him, then maybe he’ll disappear into thin air, like the monsters I hid from as a small child. If you can’t see them, they can’t see you, right? No. Lies, all lies. Why are children always lied to? Are they deserving of that? Ignorance. I’d give anything to be ignorant again.
“Seto.”
My name again. The voice was a whisper with no identity, but I wasn’t going to play a fool this time. There was only one person here with me. The one that I longed for never came. . . but there was still a chance, right?
“Seto!”
Stop it. Stop screaming at me. I can hear you, and I don’t ever want to hear you again. Why, after so long, have you come back? The ghost of my past. . . why is it still haunting me, even now? I wanted to yell back, but my mouth apparently knew better than to obey me. My body always seemed to go against my wishes. Even now, all that I can do is lie down and take it like the slut that I am. Like the whore that I was trained to be.
The bed shook suddenly, loud creaks accompanying this new movement. Rough hands latched onto my shoulders, shaking me roughly. Again? He wanted more? Not again. I’d die if I had to do this again. I can’t. . . I can’t. . .
“Seto! Seto! It’s me, Katsuya!”
Liar! Fucking liar! Using that name. I knew better. If Katsuya were here, this wouldn’t have happened to me. I’d be okay. Katsuya never came. . . Katsuya. . . I knew Katsuya’s voice well enough. The voice that I heard now was so distorted and strange.
“Look at me! Look at me!”
My body finally gave in, my head falling to the side. A foggy shape greeted my eyes. Was that a person? Why was everything so out of focus? Saki was right there. He was still here after all.
“Kat-su-ya. . .” I think Saki said something then, probably trying to shut me up. I had to keep resisting, even now. “Katsuya will come home. He’ll find you here.”
Were my words even audible? I could hardly hear them. That voice didn’t belong to me. It sounded so tired, so pained. Pain. . . my whole body felt numb with it.
He didn’t say a word this time, his phantom-like form frozen in place. Was it working?
“He told me that he would never let you touch me again, not you or anyone else. He doesn’t break promises like you did, Saki.” I smiled, but who was I trying to convince? Jou doesn’t break his promises. . . he didn’t. Katsuya didn’t lie. “Where are you Katsuya?” I could feel something warm against my face. I wasn’t allowed to cry, but I just couldn’t help it. Saki would hurt me for crying. “Where are you?” Why wasn’t Katsuya coming? It had been an eternity since he went out with his friends. Did he leave me forever? Or what if. . . what if he came home and Saki killed him?
“Snap out of it, Seto! Please wake up! I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I’m so sorry!”
Wake. . . up?
I could feel my arms being violently tugged on, pain searing through my wrists as though I was being stabbed by a thousand knives again and again. I wanted to call out, to scream. . . but that’s what they always wanted most. I wouldn’t give in. . . not this time.
“Seto, please, I want to help you. I couldn’t stop this from happening, but please let me help you through this!”
Saki. . . why do you think that I would fall for those lies again? That’s what you always said when the others would hurt me. . . when you were only buying time until you could have a turn.
Hands fell to my cheeks, and the fingers were surprisingly soft and gentle. . . it was familiar somehow. The entire room felt warmer.
“Seto, do you know where he put the key to those handcuffs?”
Saki? No, couldn’t be. . . this person, this angel, wanted to get rid of the handcuffs? It simply couldn’t be Saki, but the voice remained unfamiliar, the face invisible to my eyes. A real angel then? Or perhaps this was all some long and hopeless dream. . .
I turned my head to the other direction, where I last remember Saki setting something down. Surely if he had placed the key anywhere, it was over there. Had he said something about a key? My memory failed me. . . and for that, I was truly thankful.
The bed shook lightly as the extra weight left. Silence ensued, followed by a random outburst of something along the lines of “I hate him! I fucking hate him!” Hate him? Hate who? I could certainly make a long list of men that I hated. Where could I possibly begin?
There was a bit more tugging at my arms, until I felt them fall carelessly to the pillow beneath my head.
“Seto, I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
Take care. . . of me. . .
“Seto, I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
“Take care of me?”
“Yeah. I’ve seen the way that your adoptive father treats you. It’s disgusting, Seto. Don’t even pretend that it doesn’t bother you.”
“Of course it bothers me.” I sat on the edge of my bed, my legs looking thinner than I remembered. “It’s not like I can do much about it. Even if I report it, that bastard will find some way to dig himself out of any mess that I create for him, and then there will be hell to pay on my end. . . or worse, he would hurt Mokuba.”
“Which is why I’m going to take care of you, Seto.” Saki smiled. His teeth were so white and so beautiful. His smile seemed to light up the entire world. The way his silver eyes reflected the sun made them appear to be glowing. He really was like someone from a fantasy novel. I loved novels. Saki was my white knight, I guess. . .
“From this day onward, I will always protect you, Seto-koi.”
From this day onward, huh? Lies. . . all lies. . .
I could no longer feel the bed beneath me, but rather a cold floor. The light here was much brighter, and there was a faint sound of running water. Perhaps it was simply my hearing that was faint. Was this a bathroom? How did I get here? No matter how many times I was to be bathed, it was still impossible to make me clean. My entire body was permanently stained. . . stained by the filth of this world.
My eyes slid shut with a will of their own, and I didn’t have the mind to open them.
“It’s alright now, I’m here for you. Just close your eyes, Seto. There now, that’s a good boy. Shh. . .”
I was crushed as much against his chest as I physically could be, my whole body shaking with sobbing and coughing. The tears soaked into his shirt, which I held fisted in both hands, but he didn’t mind. He only smiled down at me with that loving smile of his. There was a look of sadness in his eyes, though.
“I c-can’t d-do this an-n-nymore, S-saki!” I felt so pathetic choking out words through sobs, but Saki never saw me as pathetic. He always made me feel better. Always.
“If anyone ever tries to hurt you, I will be there for you.”
“Do you promise?” My small voice was muffled against his shirt.
“I promise.”
Promise. . . what exactly was a promise? Didn’t a promise mean that the one who made it had to stick to their word no matter what? At least, that’s what I had always been told that it meant. I suppose that even I can be wrong sometimes. . .
“I won’t let Saki touch you, I won’t let anyone from school touch you either, or anyone at the mall or at the grocery store or on the street or at your own company! No one will touch you, no one will kiss you, no one will follow you. . . and absolutely no one will rape you.”
Tch. Promises, promises. Everyone loves to make promises. Even I had made my own promises. Jounouchi Katsuya. . . he had made promises as well, but could he keep them? Clearly not. Who had ever kept their promise to me?
“Since you promised that you’d never leave me, I promise that I’ll never leave you either, big brother!”
Mokuba. Mokuba has always been the one person that was closest to me, but how close is he really? He doesn’t know much, as far as I know, and I never actually planned to tell him anything about what happened when we lived under Gozaburo’s rule. The one person that could keep a promise to me, and I was keeping secrets from him. Some big brother I am.
“You’re the best big brother ever!” “I love you, big brother!”
Every time he said those words to me I would cringe. I’m not the best, I’m far from it, probably closer to the worst. Love me? Why? What have I ever done to deserve the love of anybody? What is one good quality that I have that I can say is worthy of love?
“You have a nice body.”
No.
“You have a nice ass.”
No.
“You have so much money!”
No!
“No need to thank me. That smile is worth it. . . you know.”
My smile is. . . worth it?
“Saki was right when he said you were pretty when you cry, but. . . you’re beautiful when you smile.”
Jounouchi. . . So many times he had said kind things to me. Had they been significant then? I couldn’t really remember, and yet now they stand out so clearly. Beautiful when I smile. My smile is worth it. My. . . happiness?
“Kat. . . su. . . ya. . .” I could feel some kind of warmth surrounding me, but I didn’t care to discover its identity. A voice called out to me, but the words were foreign. . . yet the tone was familiar. It was the last lingering bit of consciousness that I could recall. . . for the first time in a while, I felt at peace.
- - -
“Oh my God! Kaiba!”
I woke to the sound of my own surname, but my eyes refused to open. In fact, my entire body remained useless to me. Who was the owner of that voice? It was annoyingly familiar. . . it wasn’t Jou. Where was I? Had he taken me somewhere? No one could find out about this! I could faintly feel and even hear my own heart pounding in my chest. Thump, thump, thump, a heavy vibration ringing in my head, throughout my body. I felt so weak, like I wanted to go to sleep again.
More words, this time inaudible above my own heart. The pounding grew louder and I began to feel a little sick. How many people were around me now? It seemed like several, but I couldn’t be so sure. . .
“How many people was it this time, Seto?” His beautiful silver eyes peered right through me. Why would he ask? It seemed that he always knew the answers anyhow. Why did he want to hear the words from me?
I turned my attention to my hands, which were clasped together in my lap, my legs swinging back and forth nervously as I sat on the edge of my own bed.
“Come on Seto; you can tell me anything.” Saki was so persistent.
“I can’t tell you a number when I don’t even know.”
“You can’t even guess?” He seemed a little taken aback.
“I couldn’t see them.” The thought made me feel so ashamed. My enemy took advantage of me and I was blind to the entire event. The story of my life, really. I was there to be taken advantage of. Disgusting little whore.
“Couldn’t see them?” He didn’t even try to force a pitiful smile, but rather simply turned my face up with a hand on my chin. “Well, you can see me, right?”
What kind of question was that? “Of course I can see you. . .” It hurt so much to see him. Why did he care so much about me? Just looking into his eyes, I felt that he might just disappear.
“Well, you will always be able to see me. Whenever you want to see me, I’ll be there. I promise. . .”
Promises, promises. No more promises.
“. . . If anyone takes care of Seto, it’s me.”
Takes care of me? Who? That voice sounded like. . .
“Jounouchi, Kaiba is a strong young man,”
Strong? They’re all so gullible, aren’t they?
“he doesn’t need someone sitting by his bedside until he wakes up.”
Do I need it? Perhaps not. . . but it would be wonderful to wake up to a kind, reassuring face. I miss that from when Mokuba used to be afraid of the dark. . . it’s painful to wake up alone.
There was more shouting from. . . Jounouchi? I only caught bits and pieces. I could feel my mind fading fast. I know, however, that the word wrong was said a couple times. . . I also heard the phrase ‘Seto needs’, which is also correct. I do need. I need a lot more than anyone thinks. . . a lot more than I think.
Silence followed the long outburst and the wait seemed like an eternity. The darkness behind my eyelids almost looked like it was spinning and I could feel my heartbeat slow drastically. The voices picked up again, but were very hushed, each different tone melting into the other until I couldn’t even make out individual syllables anymore.
Jou wanted to take care of me. Why did he want to take care of me?
Why did he care about me so much?
No. Jou was certainly different. Back when Katsuya and I used to fight all the time, I could tell that he had a very big heart. The way that he spoke to his friends, the lengths that he went to to protect those that he loved. . . his heart was bursting with genuine kindness. With such a personality. . . he must hurt when others hurt too.
I could feel my body physically jerk as I mentally flenched at the though. Was I causing Katsuya emotional pain? If only he didn’t care about me. . . then he wouldn’t have to hurt like I do.
If only he didn’t care about me. . .
- - -
Um. . . so yeah. That was the chapter. What do I dare say? Merry belated Christmas? Happy belated New Year? Happy belated Easter, Saint Patricks Day, and Memorial Day? Honestly. . . it has been way too long since I last updated. But you all are probably used to my severe procrastination by now, right? . . . is anyone even reading this anymore, or has everyone given up on me? For those of you that are left, thank you so much for hanging in there! You certainly haven’t left my thoughts!