Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Blame it on Adolescence ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Blame it on Adolescence (2/3)
By Shella.

-][-][-][-][-

The others weren't too thrilled to find out who Yugi had fallen for. It took me several speeches to get them to be reasonable about it, and to understand that they didn't have to right to question who he loved.

Anzu was quickest - she was always good at unconditional support for her friends. Once assured that Kaiba had actively tried not to hurt Yugi's feelings, and that he wasn't entirely the asshole we all knew from Duellist Kingdom, she accepted it completely. Shizuka had heard lots from both Honda and I about how cruel Kaiba could be, so she had reservations, but having not known him very long found it easier to acknowledge the possibility of his good side. Otogi expressed deep doubts as to Kaiba's suitability, but in the end said that it was up to Yugi who he gave his heart to.

Honda's sustained objection was no surprise, especially since his reaction was pretty much identical to mine. The main difference between us was that Honda didn't find Kaiba even remotely good-looking, so didn't have that aspect to assist acceptance of Yugi's feelings for the other boy. He questioned Yugi intensely, refusing to admit the validity of the grounds for his attraction, seeking out alternatives and justifications to `explain' or `excuse' Yugi's emotions. It wasn't until Otogi, surprisingly taking Yugi's side when he and Honda had been getting along so well, had defeated some of his points logically that he began to listen to what I was saying about friendship and unreserved support. I don't think he completely got it, but he had a good enough idea to realise that he'd been unreasonable. Even though he was thoughtful about it for a while afterwards, we still got an apology out of him.

Well, at least nobody was upset that Yugi was apparently gay.

While Honda was navel-gazing, Yugi took his turn at offering ritual humiliation. And to my complete surprise, he picked Shizuka.

“Ooh, truth,” she said, grinning nervously. She was the only one who could pick the wimpier option without getting called a coward.

Yugi's question was direct and to the point. “Tell us something you've never told anyone.”

“Something … um…” She considered the question for a moment, then made me nearly jump out of my skin by looking at me guiltily.

“What'd ya do?” I demanded, suddenly unsettled.

“Well, when we were kids I'd play with your trucks when you weren't home.” Hardly surprising - I remembered some of them being out of place. “One day I was playing your favourite one, the red and black one with the really shiny hubs.”

“I remember it!” I blurted. “That was the coolest truck I ever had.”

“Jounouchi, how old were you?” asked Anzu dubiously.

I glared at her for the insinuated insult. “Seven.” Turning to Shizuka, I added, “Sorry, sis. Keep talking.”

An expression of remorse came over her face. “I broke it,” she admitted mournfully. “I was running it down the stairs and it hit the side and crashed on the lino floor. And then,” (she looked like she was about to cry) “I lied about it. I said a bird got in the window and tipped the toy box over and it got squashed. I'm sorry, Katsuya!” she wailed, and buried her head in her hands.

I could feel myself smiling. “Shizuka, you dork.” Trying to be serious, but not really pulling it off, I went over and sat next to her, putting my arms around her in a hug. “If you wanted to play with my trucks you shoulda just asked, we could've played with them together.” I gave her a gentle shake. “That was years ago. I might've been upset at the time, but I wouldn't have blamed you. And I definitely don't blame you now!”

She looked up, her eyes threatening to spill over with tears. “Really?” she asked shakily.

“Really really.” I grinned at her. “You think trucks matter more than my baby sister? You're weird, Shizuka.”

“I'm not weird! You are!” Defending herself automatically, she stopped short with a gasp of surprise.

I snickered. “Sure, sure, whatever you say.” A final squeeze, and I was back on the couch and the game was continuing, with Shizuka in control.

“I choose … Anzu. Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” said Anzu hurriedly. Honda, Otogi and I booed her half-heartedly, but we weren't serious - everyone remembered how embarrassed and brave she'd been to kiss Yami.

Shizuka pondered her options a moment, then said in a serious tone, “If you could change one thing about the personality of someone here, what would you do?” The deep question midway through a silly diversion came as a surprise, but I was more taken aback by the answer.

“I'd give Jounouchi more confidence in himself,” said Anzu firmly. “He's not as dumb as he thinks he is.”

I gaped at her, feeling my face heat up. “Thanks, Anzu,” I managed.

“Well, not quite, anyway,” she qualified teasingly, but there was pure friendship in the smile she gave me. I suddenly had a new understanding of the term `warm and fuzzy'.

“You two can stop being mushy at each other now,” said Otogi.

Of course we threw cushions at him!

Once Otogi had learned one possible meaning of the phrase `silent as the grave', Anzu briskly settled herself again and said, “Right. My turn. Otogi, Truth or Dare?”

There was a small upheaval in the pile of manchester, and a spiky black head emerged. “Dare.”

“About time,” muttered Honda.

“Speak for yourself,” dice-boy retorted. “You haven't taken a dare yet.”

“Good point. I'll put it on my To Do list.”

“Otogi,” said Anzu, bringing the room's attention to herself again, “I dare you to kiss the person you're in love with.”

“Aren't we over this one yet?” Otogi grumbled as he began extricating himself from his prison.

“Not likely,” she replied. “We've still got Honda, Jounouchi and Shizuka to go through … or,” seeing the look I gave her, “just Honda and Jounouchi.”

Otogi huffed. “Well, it doesn't look like I'm going to get out of this one.” He paused. “Except I don't think it's love, just like.” Alarm bells started going off in my head and I sat up straight. But even as I opened my mouth, Otogi swooped down and delivered a staggering kiss to … Honda?

“What the—”

“—hell?”

Anzu and I reacted almost in the same instant; Yugi gave an inarticulate exclamation of surprise; but only the long habit of keeping half an eye on my sister enabled me to witness her response - no sound, simply the widening of her eyes.

Honda was silent. A look of supreme confusion and shock was visible on his face as Otogi pulled back. It didn't change as the dice player returned to his seat seemingly unruffled. It took all my closeness and understanding of Honda's expressions and moods to read the tiniest bit of interest in his eyes, and this was almost as startling as the other boy's action.

“Um … Otogi?” Yugi ventured. “What … you … but … huh?”

“You're not allowed to lie in these games,” said Otogi, as if it explained everything.

Honda, finally recovering the muscle control to close his mouth, swallowed heavily. “Uh … you know I like Shizuka, right?” he said.

“Yeah, so do I.” Otogi didn't seem to find this statement in the least bit strange. “I like you too.”

A conflicted look came over Honda's expressions and he hesitated. “Oh … well, sorry…” he muttered. It was clear what he was sorry about. “No offence?”

Otogi waved his hand. “None taken. I wasn't expecting you to feel the same.” I had to admit, he did a good job hiding his hurt and disappointment. From his cool exterior you could believe that he hadn't invested any emotion in the kiss at all.

I'd seen Honda blush before, but I hadn't seen him look so embarrassed. It took me a moment to realise that this was because he knew he'd hurt Otogi's feelings even though he hadn't wanted to. Honda was a good guy, with a good heart, and he'd been rejected enough times in the past (for example, that girl who liked blondes) to know exactly how the other boy must feel. It was irrelevant that Honda wasn't gay; the point was that he'd knocked someone back, and couldn't help feeling guilty.

Damn. For such a light-hearted game, this Truth or Dare thing was getting heavy.

Otogi smiled, and I couldn't tell whether it was forced or not. He was good at hiding his emotions. “On with the game, right?” he prompted. Once he had everybody's attention, he spoke over the awkwardness that had come across the group. “I choose … Jounouchi.”

“Crap!” I burst out, and suddenly everybody was laughing. The uncomfortable atmosphere vanished. The relief I sensed from everyone was contagious, and I was grinning as I said, “Okay, okay - do your worst. Dare.”

“My worst?” Otogi queried.

“Yep.” I hoped I looked and sounded braver than I felt, cos my heart was speeding up and I could feel butterflies jumping around in my stomach.

He spread his hands, palms up. “I'm going to have to go for the obvious,” he warned, and I swore quietly to myself. “I dare you to kiss the person you're in love with.”

“What if I'm not in love with anyone?” I tried desperately. Oh, if they found out about Kaiba…

“The person on the blimp you think is hottest, then,” Otogi countered.

“I'm not kissin' Mai! She's unconscious! It's wrong!” Squirm, Jounouchi, squirm and just try to get out of this one.

“Next hottest, then!”

“Shit…”

They were laughing, of course. I would be too in the same situation. I couldn't really blame them, it was a perfectly normal reaction.

“Shut up!”

Fat lot of good that did me.

“Okay, okay, I'll do it…” Totally embarrassed, I stood up, if only to stop the others from howling with laughter. Only Shizuka was even trying to restrain herself. I considered kissing someone else, so I could keep my feelings about Kaiba secret - less for fear of what my friends would say, since they'd accepted Yugi's feelings, than for fear of what he would say. He already thought I was a third-rate duellist and a pathetic human being, why risk him hating me more? Nobody suspected I thought he was hot - I could easily kiss Anzu, or even Isis, without anyone being the wiser.

And yet … something stopped me. Maybe it was remembering the look on Yugi's face after I'd found out he loved Kaiba, maybe it was the tenacity with which Otogi had guarded his feelings, maybe it was the memory of Anzu hiding her face in a cushion. Everybody else had been honest to the point of vulnerability in this game. If I didn't do the same, I wouldn't be able to face myself.

“Ave, Caesar. Morituri te salutant,” I muttered. They were pretty much the only sentences I knew of languages other than Japanese (aside from swearing in English or German), if only because everything sounded impressive in Latin. `Hail, Caesar. We who are about to die salute you.' Said by gladiators before they fought and were killed in the Colosseum. (At least, that was what I hoped I'd said. I'd learnt it from a guy I used to run around with, and didn't have the smarts to check if he'd taught me how to say `my father wears women's underwear' or something like that instead.)

“What was that, Jou?” asked Honda.

I shook my head. “Nothing. Uh, the person I'm thinkin' of isn't in this room. Otogi, you gonna come with?”

He nearly bounced up from his chair. “Sure.” Turning around and winking at the others as he preceded me out of the room, he assured them, “Don't worry, I won't let him cheat.” I scowled at him, only to have him grin at my amusement. There was something strained in the expression, as though it was just a mask, and my suspicions were confirmed that he had been hurt by Honda's rejection.

Well, he wasn't alone. Yugi and, in a moment, I were about to join him.

Otogi had a better head for navigation than I did, so he realised where we were going sooner than I had when making the same journey with Yugi. His steps slowed abruptly as we turned the last corner and I heard a sharp intake of breath.

“Kaiba.” It was a statement rather than a question, and made me instantly defensive. Suddenly I felt distinctly hostile towards Otogi, remembering clearly how he'd humiliated me when we first met. We'd since gotten past that - mostly - but as I tensed in expectation of his derision, all the dislike and anger I'd felt towards him came flooding back.

“Don' say anythin',” I growled. “I mean it, Otogi, you say one word an' I'll jam you in the laundry chute an' nail boards over both ends.”

He recoiled immediately. “Geez, Jounouchi, what's your problem? I wasn't going to say anything.”

“Bullshit you weren't!” I snapped, swinging round to face him. “I could tell y'were gonna say somethin' nasty.”

“You're paranoid,” he accused. “Look, I know you're stressed out but that doesn't mean you can take it out on me.”

“It's not being paranoid if someone is gonna attack you.” My logic was shabby and I knew it, so I barged on, hoping to erase my stumble. “You're always so smug and superior, an' you think everyone needs to hear your opinions. Course you'd say somethin' about it! Even when it's got nothin' to do wit' you, you gotta have an opinion on everythin'.”

“Now you're just being bitchy,” Otogi said scornfully. “If you react this way to your friends whenever something goes wrong, I can't understand why they still hang around you.”

By now I'd given up even trying to keep a leash on my words - I just wanted to hurt, to make him feel as useless and unwanted as I did. “In case you'd forgotten, I'm not the only one wasting his attention on a guy who doesn't feel the same about me as I do about him.”

Stars exploded in my vision and vertigo crashed over me. Everything went dark and fuzzy and I realised Otogi had punched me.

“Fuck you,” he snarled. But what stopped me in my tracks wasn't his anger, nor was it the pain and disorientation of the blow. It was the ache in his glaring green eyes that pierced me and pinned me in place. They were the first thing I could make out as the universe stopped veiling my sight, and the emotions in them were so shockingly familiar, and made me feel so guilty, that I almost threw up.

“Shit,” I whispered. “Otogi … I'm sorry…”

“Sorry?” he repeated. “Oh, of course, that makes everything better. Screw you, Jounouchi.”

I forced myself upright, needing to make restitution. “I mean it. I really am sorry,” I pleaded. “I was bein' stupid - you're right, I was paranoid - and I just assumed you'd say somethin' mean cos I know how dumb I am, likin' a coldfish like Kaiba. I'm an idiot.”

“Don't forget prick,” Otogi muttered. “You're a prick, too.”

“That too,” I agreed. “An' a jerk. An' a waste of space. An' stupid.”

“Really stupid.”

“Totally stupid.”

“The stupidest person I know.”

“The stupidest person in Japan.”

“The stupidest person in the world.”

“Wait - are we counting animals as well? Like, sheep?”

“Why not?”

“Well, I don' need to fall asleep…”

The look Otogi gave me was completely unamused and oppressive. I offered him a hesitant grin, certain he was going to reach out and break my neck any second just for breathing in his immediate vicinity.

Abruptly he whirled and buzzed the intercom for Kaiba's door, but I caught a fleeting glimpse of a smirk on his face.

“What is it?”

Kaiba's voice again, almost exactly the same tone as last time I heard those words.

“It's Otogi and Jounouchi,” said dice boy. “Can we come in?”

“What for?”

“We need something.”

“Anything you need, you'll find on the blimp. Ask one of the guards.”

Otogi frowned. He'd rested his hand against the door frame, and now started drumming his fingers unconsciously. “We need to talk to you,” he insisted.

There was a pause, and I could just picture Kaiba cursing quietly to himself. But since Bakura had been injured in his duel with Yugi, he knew his time and conversation were pretty much public property, given that he was in charge of the whole event. After a moment, the door opened.

Kaiba stood on the other side, arms folded. On the coffee table behind him, Duel Monsters cards were strewn across the polished oak. Automatically zeroing in on them, I spotted two Blue Eyes and the Crush card before returning my attention firmly to Kaiba.

…He looked kinda hot in that coat…

I took a step forward, noticing the way his eyes registered me and then moved on as though he'd dismissed me with barely a thought. Arrogant bastard.

Clenching my jaw and seizing my courage with both hands, I walked almost right up to him and opened my mouth. As he tilted his head slightly, expressing in that half-motion his expectation that nothing I ever said would be worth listening to, I let my eyes slide to the wall behind him. My mouth fell open, slack, and my eyes bugged. I gaped in surprise.

Then, as Kaiba turned to look at what had startled me, I pounced on him, delivered a bruising kiss to what I hoped was somewhere in the vicinity of his mouth, and turned to run.

I got three steps, and Otogi had just recovered from his shock long enough to burst out laughing, when a hand clamped around my bicep and jerked me to a halt, almost dislocating my shoulder. I staggered, my centre of balance going AWOL, and fell to one knee. I didn't have time to sort myself out before I was yanked to my feet.

“What the hell was that?” Kaiba snapped. Otogi stopped laughing like a switch had cut it off.

“Involuntary muscle spasm,” I said blithely.

His fingers clenched around my arm, grinding muscle into bone, and I gasped. “Wrong answer,” he said.

May have to try telling the truth - what a weird idea … “Did Yugi tell you why he kissed you earlier?”

If it was possible, Kaiba's eyes narrowed even more. “Truth or Dare.”

“Same thing, except I don't love you, I just think you're hot.”

I caught just a glimpse of his face, showing an expression of utter contempt, before he shoved me away from him and I sprawled on the floor. Thuds and grazes blossomed along my side, and I knew I'd have carpet burns on my arm for days.

“Leave me out of your stupid games,” Kaiba growled. “And stay the hell out of my room.”

There's an expression - `seeing red' - that I think is pretty accurate for how I felt then. I had been angry at Otogi before, now I was furious. The rejection I'd anticipated had happened, as bad as I could've imagined and still worse for being reality. And me being the calm, rational, level-headed person that I am, when I've been hurt I retaliate.

“You bastard!” I shouted. I was on my feet without knowing how I'd gotten there, hurling abuse at a person I could have easily fallen in love with in a different situation. He'd gotten under my skin in more ways than one, and I hated it. “You complete prick, Kaiba! I don' know where you get your fucked-up ideas from or why you think you can walk all over people, but it's bullshit.” I couldn't see or think; all I was aware of was rage. “You're the most horrible, useless, pointless person on the face of the damned planet. You're a waste of space an' there's nothing - nothing - about you that's worth anything. You're shit! You're the lowest piece of trash there is. You're no one, an' you don' matter to anyone. You're not even worth hating.”

I couldn't see much past my own anger, but even I could tell I'd seriously pissed him off. There was fury in his eyes and in the set mask of his face that would make a Doberman run for its kennel. Don't get me wrong, I was scared out of my mind. If it was possible to die from fear, I could've done it then. But somehow, his rage was less terrifying than the fact that he was in control of it.

“Then tell me,” he whispered, “why are you here?”

I floundered for a moment, confused between anger, fear and hurt. My mouth opened a shut a few times on its own before I put words into it. “Because - because I think being honest to your friends is more important than anything I think about you.”

“A typically heartfelt and fluffy statement,” he sneered. “But I didn't mean that. I was asking what attraction a … `horrible, useless, pointless person' … could hold for someone as obviously in control of their emotions as you are.”

One question - a thousand answers. (Not to mention the sarcasm.) I admired his strength, his loyalty, his tenacity. I empathised with him, was intrigued by him, maybe even respected him. It took me hours to calm down afterwards each time we had an argument because he knew how to annoy me better than anybody else. He was a mass of contradictions between icy disregard and burning passion. Every time I saw him I knew I hated him, and every time I didn't see him I wanted him to be there. I couldn't stand him and couldn't stand not having him in the periphery of my life.

Did I tell him any of that?

Shit no.

“Cos when you've got your mouth shut and that pissed-off look isn't on your face, you're not ugly,” I replied flippantly. “But it doesn't mean anything. That whole `inner beauty' thing is true, y'know, cos you sure as hell don' have any.”

To my surprise, I realised some of the anger was leaving his face. A condescending smirk curved his lips. One eyebrow lifted just slightly.

It hit me - he thought I was funny.

“I should have expected something that ridiculous from you,” he said scornfully. “Inner beauty? The power of friendship? If I'd known your outburst was based on crap like that, I wouldn't have let you finish.”

Kaiba stepped forward, and I retreated instinctively. Before I realised what I was doing, I was on the other side of the doorway.

“Go back to your kid's games,” he said crushingly, “and stop wasting my time. If I see you at this door again I'll have you thrown out of the tournament.” The door zipped closed right in my face, and I heard the electronic lock engage.

I blinked at the barrier separating me from Kaiba. Slowly, quite calmly, I took a step backwards. “I'll kill him.” And raised a foot to smash it down.

“Jounouchi!” Otogi grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away from the door. In a state somewhere between shock and fury, my legs moved jerkily to remain under me and I was too stunned by emotion to resist as I was led forcibly away.

-][-][-][-][-