Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Coalescence ❯ I Wish I Could, Too ( Chapter 16 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

16) I Wish I Could, Too

Summary: Seto, thinking about Yami, gets a phone call from... well, that would be telling!

Notes:
1) A warning for suggestions of lemony goodness
2) Referring to Seto's telling Yugi to call him "Seto" in this chapter, the way I understand it - and what I've seen in other anime as well - one does NOT use a given name unless invited. And it's seen as a quantum shift in a relationship to switch to that usage. <g> It's a cultural thing that doesn't exist in the West. For example, in Cardcaptor Sakura, it's a HUGE thing when Sakura tells Syaoran that he can call her Sakura instead of "Kinomoto-san" or just "Kinomoto". And he reciprocates - blushing all the way - to letting her call him "Syaoran-kun" instead of "Li-kun". HUGE. <g>

BTW, thanks to everyone who has written feedback! Feel free to e-mail me anytime at peacewind7@yahoo.com as well, or IM me on AIM at PeacecraftZ. I love to chat with anyone about the story, Yu-Gi-Oh, anime in general, even the Duel Monsters card game! (Yes, I do play - wanna duel?)

Want to read more great fic and chat with others about yaoi-goodness in Yu-Gi-Oh!? Join the yugioh_slash mailing list! Go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/yugioh_slash

Last note: Someone chastised me that Yami lived 5000 years ago, not 3000. According to the Japanese version of the anime and according to the manga, it's *3000*. Also, Yami is supposedly from the 18th Dynasty of Pharoahs in Egypt, which was some 3500 years ago. Now you know.





Despite having come just minutes ago, Seto knew he would be ready again soon, could already feel stirrings of arousal as he continued to contemplate his thoroughly delicious little boyfriend. He gathered what he needed, then laid the items to the side as he pulled back the covers and laid down on his king-size bed.

Folding his arms behind his head as he gazed up at the ceiling, Seto recalled his agreement with Yami. [I've never been on the receiving end before,] he contemplated. [I think it could feel... incredible... and he would make sure it did, I know it. How does he manage to exude such power? The duelist in me wants to smack him down to size, beat him soundly so that I may be first in the world again... he took that from me... but though I still might itch to fight him, now... it's so different...]

He rolled to his side, propping his head up with a hand as he rested on an elbow. [It's him. He's like no one I've ever met. Aside from the fact that his delicious little body makes me ache, his personality just glows with magnificence. Charisma, I suppose... and of course such a Pharoah might be expected to have it. Despite the absence of his legacy in history, he's on the level of a Charlemagne or a Constantine... a man that hordes will love desperately and follow to the ends of the earth.]

Seto closed his eyes and sighed deeply as he reached for the candle. [Such men are born, not made. It's a gift, as is his uncanny luck and skill in gaming. I myself have power and skill and my intelligence, but except perhaps for the latter, I've had to work hard to get the rest. I have to accept that I may not be his equal... not really. If I were to fight him again and beat him, it would be luck...]

He scowled at the candle suddenly, and laid it back down. [No, I cannot think this way! He may be that charismatic leader, but in gaming we are equals. He is my *only* equal! I will beat him some day... and he may beat me again. We are perfectly matched! But as for the rest... oh, heaven help me...]

His glance fell again to the candle. Abruptly his bedside phone rang. Gasping, he stared at it in fury. Who would DARE interrupt him? [This had better be Mokuba,] he thought as he snatched up the receiver. "Kaiba," he bit out angrily.

"G...Gomen..." came a soft, fearful voice. Not one of his foolish minions, not his hapless secretary, not even his precious little brother.

It was Yugi Mutou.

"Yugi!" Seto exclaimed, all anger vanished. He sat up hastily, the candle forgotten. "I'm sorry I answered the phone like that, Yugi. I'd told my people not to bother me this evening."

"Oh! Then, I'll hang up - I can talk to you tomorrow," Yugi said quickly.

Something in the boy's voice told Seto that this was not a casual call. "No, wait, Yugi! Don't hang up." He took a deep breath and glanced at the candle, then shifted, turning his back on it. "Please, you sound worried. Is something wrong, Yugi?"

"I... I don't know..." Yugi gulped, then tried again to talk. "I thought maybe something bad might have happened after I left. Is everything okay between you and Yami-san, Kaiba-kun?"

"Seto."

"N...nani??"

"Call me Seto when it's just us, Yugi," Seto explained, sighing. "You might as well. We're friends now, right? That's why you felt you could call me."

"O...okay, Seto-kun..."

Seto couldn't help but smile at his classmate's insistence on using honorifics, though Yugi's concerns did have him worried. "No, Yugi, nothing is wrong between Yami and myself, I'm sure of it. Although..." Guiltily he thought of his trouble with his hormones. "It's just hard for us right now not to have more time together, that's all. Really, Yugi. We're fine."

"Oh..." Yugi, sitting at his desk in his room, leaning on an elbow, sighed heavily. "I can't do anything about that." The frustration was clear in his voice. "Now he won't talk to me."

"Yami won't talk to you?" Seto echoed, alarmed. "Has he ever done that before?"

"Oh, lots of times." Yugi sighed again. "He can get kinda broody at times. He thinks he has to protect me when he's feeling upset. I suppose that's because of his dark nature or something. I think he's afraid I can't handle what he's feeling."

[And there's far, far more to little Yugi than I'd believed, too,] Seto thought soberly. "What do you think he may be feeling, Yugi?"

"Mmm, frustration, I guess." Yugi bit his lip. There was something else, something he was afraid to voice even to himself because he feared what it would mean. [Yami wants to be separate... and I don't want to lose him...]

Seto felt a wave of sympathy, understanding how trapped Yugi must feel with all this going on around him. [Trapped... but perhaps Yugi wants that...] A flash of insight came to him. "Yugi... you love him very deeply, don't you?"

"N...nani?" Yugi squeaked again, unable to believe that Seto Kaiba could say such a thing to him. [He did say... didn't he?]

"It's obvious," Seto went on smoothly, wondering why he felt so calm, saying such a thing. "You don't want to lose him."

Yugi felt tears start up in his eyes. Frustrated himself, he brushed them away angrily. "Of course I don't... Seto-kun, you can't know how it feels to have someone that close, to have them in your mind like this. I wish you could! I wish there was someone else... well, I know Bakura-kun has his own spirit, but that one is evil, nothing like my Yami-san. Bakura-kun, I think has to battle his all the time..."

Seto swallowed with difficulty, his throat suddenly tight. [*My* Yami, he says... he does feel that possessive of him. And no wonder. I'd be the same...] "I wish I could, too," he murmured quietly.

"Oh, Seto-kun, I didn't mean to make you feel bad," Yugi said abruptly, horrified that he'd been so blunt. "I know you love him!"

"I do," Seto admitted, sighing. "Kami-sama, but I do..."

Yugi bit his lip, unable to speak for a moment. [And Yami loves him... so much that he hides it from me, not wanting me to feel bad about it. Yami loves me, but... I don't think he feels about me like he does for Seto-kun. Not that... hunger...] He gulped. [No one could feel that for a runt like me... damn that I have to be so puny and look like a kid!]

"But," Seto added when Yugi didn't respond, "You're first in his heart and I could never take that away from either of you, Yugi. I'd like you both to be happy about this. I... I don't want my relationship with Yami to hurt you."

"It's okay," Yugi murmured in a small voice.

"Don't lie, Yugi," Seto whispered though he felt his own heart breaking. [Maybe it's best this all comes out now... so it won't hurt more...]

"It's just that..." Yugi felt more confused than ever, feeling things inside himself he didn't understand. "It's just that he wants the three of us to be together." [Oh, Kami-sama, I didn't really just say that, did I? Oh, shit, oh, shit...] His heart started to pound. [I'm going to screw this up...]

The blood drained from Seto's face. "Yami said... that?" Unbidden he had an image of his tiny classmate waving airily at his friends about something, laughing cheerily, a veritable ball of sunshine in his own right. Something about that made his heart hurt fiercely. [So much light... and there is much darkness in me yet which I haven't even begun to examine yet... I wonder...]

"Um, yeah, I really don't know what he's thinking, though!" Yugi said hastily, trying to backpedal. [Shit, Kaiba-kun's going to avoid me, now. This is going to be so awkward! He'll hate me... I shouldn't have called him...]

[Yugi is actually only a few months younger than I am, I think,] Seto was musing, feeling his personal universe tilt even more than the discovery of the stone tablets had. [I wonder if he's ever dated... or even thought about it... thought about being with anyone at all... have he and Yami ever talked about... about... nah, probably not. Hmmm... I still don't know what Yami told him about our date. I have a strong feeling it wasn't much...]

"Yugi," Seto ventured, "I suppose Yami thinks it would be easier in the long run. If I'm involved with him, in his mind it seems logical that it would work better if I was involved with you as well."

Yugi frowned. [He's not saying it's a stupid idea... but he's not jumping for it either...] "Yeah, well, I guess it would be easier. But, really, it's not necessary. I don't expect..."

"Yugi," Seto interrupted, an amused tone in his voice, "you are kinda cute, actually." [Did I say that out loud? I did... Heh.]

"KAIBA!" Yugi exclaimed, shocked, then hastily corrected himself. "Er, Seto-kun, um, well, hey, as long as we're talking crazy here, you're kinda gorgeous yourself..." [Eeeeek, I said it!!! Yami, why the HELL are you not listening to all this? Surely you would have stopped me from making such a fool of myself...]

Yugi was further shocked when Seto responded by laughing. [He's... LAUGHING!] But it wasn't the Kaiba-laugh he knew so well... the laugh of the world champion duelist about to deliver a crushing blow to an opponent. It didn't make Yugi's skin crawl like it usually did. This laugh was carefree and open, truly a laugh of sheer pleasure. [He's not laughing AT me... he's not...]

"Seto-kun?" he ventured timidly.

"Yugi, you're priceless," Seto admitted, still chuckling. "Are you attracted to me?"

[MEEP!!] Yugi thought, jumping out of his chair. He started to pace as far as the phone cord would let him, abruptly nervous... and more. "Um, er, well, who wouldn't be?! Er..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you," Seto replied gently. "I didn't realize... er..." He wasn't sure how to say what he wanted to. "Yugi, have you ever dated before?" he asked instead, hoping that wasn't too invasive as well.

"Er, once with Anzu," Yugi admitted.

"Oh..." Seto straightened. [Maybe he's not really interested in guys! Even though he might like my looks. I guess that's not so hard to imagine. But if he doesn't want to be with a guy... Maybe this is why Yami is so upset. Speaking of whom, surely he must be listening to all this...]

"Nothing came of it," Yugi was adding. "I... well, I guess I can say this to you... I think I'd rather be with... with... another guy." He swallowed carefully as he stopped his agitated pacing. [I can't believe I just admitted that to Seto Kaiba,] he thought. [But why not? He's in love with my Yami after all...]

Seto sighed deeply and lay back down on his side again. "Yugi," he whispered softly, "do you like me at all? Or could you possibly like me?"

Yugi sat back down on his chair with a thud, his heart pounding. "I..." He gulped. "I... d...don't know..."

[That's honest,] Seto considered, sighing. "Maybe... for Yami's sake... we could both think about this some more."

"B...both?" [He doesn't really think...]

"Yes, both of us," Seto replied quietly. "You've given me a lot to think about, Yugi. Who knows, maybe someday..." He left it hanging. [Maybe...]

Yugi gulped. [I think I'll faint now... he's really implying... the threesome thing could happen... Seto-kun is really saying that... oh, Kami-sama...] "Yeah... Okay, I've got a lot to think about, too, Seto-kun," he managed to reply.

"If you don't mind my asking, Yugi," Seto added, "what does Yami think about our conversation?"

Yugi blinked. Yami hadn't said a word. In fact... "Um, he's away..."

"Away?"

"The link... he's closed his end," Yugi explained. "Like I do when I want to give him privacy. He doesn't even know I called you. I would have thought he'd be curious, but... there's nothing. Actually, I'm a little concerned."

Seto frowned. "Can't you call him through your link?"

"I'll try... hang on..." Yugi closed his eyes to concentrate on his link. /Yami? Are you all right, Yami?/

The link, however, was quiescent. Usually Yugi could sense his presence, however distant, but it was so faint he could hardly feel anything. "He's really shut it down. I might have to try contacting him directly. I sort of have to zone out to do it, though. Can I call you back?"

"I can stay on the line," Seto murmured. "If you don't mind."

"Of course not. I'll try to be quick."


Tbc