Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Love and Lost ❯ Love and Lost-Chapter 8 ( Chapter 8 )

Sorry for the late update also sorry about business hours I'm waiting for a reason you'll find out later ^_~ I haven't been in the best of health as of late so please forgive me for the lateness of my updates, I'll get back on tract soon enough!

ENJOY!!! I made it a bit longer since you guys have been waiting so long!

For some reason Ryou didn't feel too upset anymore about Seto. Jou was so nice to him all the time he should have noticed it sooner. Ryou hoped that Jou wasn't just being nice to him for no reason…he wanted something more to be there…he couldn't take his heart being broken again. He had been upset ever since Seto said he didn't love him, true there were the few times that he was lost in Seto's eyes or their bodies were connected and stayed that way for an eternity…but it proved eternity was not enough for him. There was only one more problem…Seto had said he loved him the first night they had made love, the only time they had 'made love.' Ryou shook his head.

"Don't think about him." Ryou said to himself firmly

"About who?" Bakura asked noticing how much his Hikari had been lost in thought

"Oh, no one…Jou is coming by today." Ryou said going into the kitchen to get something out to thaw.

"Jou? Did you and Seto have a spat or something?" Bakura asked. He wasn't an idiot he knew something was going on between the two he just hoped that Ryou hadn't lost everything to the CEO.

"I told you it's not like that Bakura…it was never like that." Ryou said trailing off.

"You finally gave up upon him?" Bakura asked walking up to Ryou.

Ryou paused "I guess." Ryou said a bit sadly.

"I know you think I don't care that much…but I am sorry, I at the least knew how much you cared about him...I thought he cared about you too." Bakura lifted Ryou's chin "You gonna be okay?" He asked.

"Yes, you forget there was nothing between us to begin with. I didn't lose anything but time." Ryou said taking out a few vegetables.

Bakura hugged him from behind. "I love you Hikari." He said kissing Ryou gently on the cheek startling him. "You tell anyone I said that to you and I will not hesitate to kill you." Bakura said walking out the door.

Ryou smiled slightly "I love you too yami." Ryou said softly going back to his cooking.

Jou's POV

I have been standing outside his door for almost thirty minutes now. I want to go in and see him but I'm afraid Seto will be there, he is so damned possessive of Ryou! Ryou said they were not going out together, so I don't know why I worry. Ryou wouldn't lie to me. I hope he knows how I feel…if he doesn't…he will by the end of tonight at least, I hope he returns my feelings. I take a deep breath and knock on the door waiting for him to answer.

Ryou opened the door with one of those brilliant smiles of his; he always had a beautiful smile and I found myself lost within it soon.

"Jou? Aren't you coming in?" He asks bringing me out of my trance,

"Uh…yeah sorry." I say walking in and going into the living room." I felt like an idiot for staring at him as I did just standing there.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" He asked

I was about to answer when the phone rang as he went into the kitchen to answer it, he seemed a little upset and told me to wait a moment as he took the cordless phone outside so I couldn't hear the conversation.

Ryou's POV

I sighed deeply on the other line as Seto talked to me.
"I really can't…I have company." I said hoping he wouldn't blow a gasket on me or something.

"What do you see in him?" He asked sounding sincere for once in his life.

"I…he cares about me Seto." Was all I could say.

"And I don't?" Seto retorted back at me.

"I know you do, but it's not like the way he does. You never show it in front of others or in public it's only when we are alone that you seem to care. He showed how much he cared the day he walked me home and today when I had detention." I said

"What does that have to do with anything? What happened?" He asked sounding concerned which made me curious on why he was acting this way…he sounded actually concerned for my well-being.

"N-nothing important…it doesn't matter Seto, the point is I can't see you tonight…I can't…I want to stop everything that has been going on between the two of us." I said holding my breath as I heard the silence on the other line.

"…All right." Seto said softly

"Please don't hate me Seto, I just…" Seto cut me off

"It's all right Ryou, I understand…go back to Jou he's probably wondering what you are up to." Seto said in a calm tone as he hung up one me.

For some reason I suddenly felt very bad and I didn't know why. Stopping what has been going on between us had to be the right decision…it had to be. Jou stepped outside and gave me a concerned look.

"You okay Ryou?" He asked, "You look a bit pale." He added

I forced a smile "I always look pale." I said walking back inside "How about that drink?" I asked as he followed me in the kitchen.

Seto's POV

I walked into my room calmly and locked the door before I screamed. I gripped my hair, fell to my knees, and just screamed. I had nothing else I really could do, as I became a sobbing mess upon my bedroom floor. Damn him! Damn myself! Why the hell do I have to feel this way for you! Why couldn't I just use you like all the rest and throw you aside…LIKE ALL THE REST! Why of all the people in the world do I have to love you? I am not meant to love! I don't know how to love!

What a sight I must be at the moment, clutching my knees to my chest and sobbing into them like a three year old. I felt so insignificant and it's his entire fault! Yet…I can't hate him I love him too much to hate him. I glance around my room trying to find something other than Ryou to focus on…but I can't. I reach under my bed pulling out a photo album.

Ryou would surely think I was crazy for having one at all, much less one full of him. I open it up smiling at the pictures of him. He always had such a nice smile. Most of the pictures are of him asleep…and one of the first night we were together. He was curled up on the living room floor. I remember how gentle I was with him that night. At the time I didn't know why I had been so careful not to hurt him I was such an idiot, if I knew I was in love with him…I would have stayed away from him, I would have saved myself the trouble of dealing with a broken heart, and hurting him.

I don't pity myself really, I feel sorry for Ryou and what I had done to him…I hate myself for what I had done to him and I wish I could take it back but I can't now. What's worse is he has moved on and there is little I can do about it. I'm so much in love with him and now I fear I have lost him.

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'beneath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

I know I have a lot of song's in my fic's but I like fic's with song's in them ^_^ well I have to go to sleep I'm sick currently so g'night and good read!

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