Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Marik's Guide to World Domination for Dummies ❯ Rule Three & Rule Four ( Chapter 2 )

RULE 3: Build a Secret Lair.

You need a hideout area. Somewhere you can plot all the evil doings, and someplace where you can hide when there are aggressive people, dogs, or monkeys chasing after you. Here are a few ideas and examples. And reminder: The shadow realm isn't the best place to hide. You might just die in there.

1. Pick the classic location, in mountains or caves.

EX. Notice where my secret base is? I can't tell you where it is, because you might find it someday, but notice the cavernous walls. I tell you, there is no place better than a cave or a mountain.

Do not use a place like Seto Kaiba's secret room.

EX. Notice that Pegasus's goons where still able to break into the place and Kaiba had to escape once again on a helicopter. You don't need to go through all the trouble like that dummy Kaiba and buy a helicopter and all the high tech security systems that will still be broken into.

A soul room is actually a pretty good location.

EX. Notice Yami's soul room. Look at al those traps. If anyone who'd need to look for you, would first of all need to go jack Shadi the Baldy's Millennium Key (don't ask how I know he's bald) to get into your mind. And most mortals aren't smart enough to find you. They'll probably open a door and see a hole, and say, "Look a hole. I'm betting he's hiding down there. I'll go jump down there." and wa-la, you got rid of them. If not, then you can just have Dark Magician attack them.

RULE 4: You need equipment.

Equipment is a very important part of world domination. For me, all I need is my rod and a god card, but in your case you're going to need more than that. You will not do too well if you are going single handedly against an army for the world, and you have no weapons. You will need some nuclear weapons and a few other weapons.

1. Buy rope. The old fashioned Tie-Them-To-A-Tree strategy actually works pretty well. Now if you need practice, practice on a younger brother or sister. It really works.

EX: I already tried it on my sister. She was helpless against the ropes. Her Millennium Necklace doesn't help, since it doesn't have the ability to burn rope or cut it. I even told Yami Bakura about it and didn't you see him creatively get help from the shadow realm and tied up those guards? Me and my ingenious plans.

2. Buy matches. Why everyone's afraid of fire. It's more feared than drowning. So why not give the firemen a little extra work to do. Once again my example is of the evil Pharaoh. I recommend matches because everyone knows how to use a match, and they are small, and you can take them anywhere.

EX: He did it the fancy way. Instead of using matches, he used the burning land card. You too, can easily scare people by using fire.

3. If you happen to have a large amount of money, you can buy nuclear weapons. Bombers are also great because they are fast and accurate. Those are actually quite easy to get. Make a trip to a air force base, and take one (I suggest either a B1 or B2). As for guns I suggest the GAU-8 Avenger anti tank gun. Also explosives work well. Make sure you don't get too carried away with these weapons. If you blow up the entire world, there won't be anything left for you to rule.

EX: Hmm… check out some of the wars to learn to use them. I myself, do not feel that they are necessary. I have my rod. Most unfortunately you have to buy these cheap pieces of metal. Notice the rod is made of gold. Gold things work well.