Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Possession ❯ Into the Fire ( Chapter 13 )

Disclaimer: Yeah, like I own them. I can keep dreaming...

AN: In which Dia screws up chronology. (Did Dia spell that right?) Ahem. Right. At any rate, this sucker takes place before the rest. You'll see why in a moment. 'Tis chock full of Y/Y goodness. Enjoy.

Warnings: Contains disjointed post-coital ramblings from both our boys. Yugi first, then Yami. Yes, I know they sound high. Can you blame them for it? *Dia blinks oh-so-innocently at her readers* Right. Shutting up now.

* * *

It's quiet now. So quiet I can feel him breathing.

Oh God, I've got the stupidest grin on my face. This is bad.

This is wonderful.

I feel so stupid. And I hurt. And...

God, I'm almost blushing too hard to write this down!

It's Yami. He... I... we...!

I have to keep burying my head into the pillow to muffle my giggles. Not that it really matters - Yami's still completely out of it. Though he still has a rather firm grasp on my waist - oh diary, I feel so... so... giddy! Even though my back's absolutely killing me, I don't care!

He loves me. He loves me! He really really loves me! I know I sound like a deranged idiot, but who cares? He loves me! God, I feel like I've loved him forever - and maybe I have - and he loves me back!

He didn't say it - why bother with words? But he... he...!

I'm grinning like an idiot again. No wonder everyone thinks I'm so girly. Yami says I'm just innocent - or I was, anyway. After this...

He was so gentle. I know how he is - and it isn't like him. I've rambled in you before about the way he kisses - overwhelming and deep and heady enough to make me dizzy. But this - the way he... we...

I just looked at him. Sound asleep, of course, cuddled close against me. He's beautiful, you know, painfully beautiful, like some gorgeous dream that somehow became flesh and tumbled into my life. God, I love him so much it hurts. It sounds so cliche, I know, and I do sound like a silly teenage girl or something, but I can't help it! I love him so much that it's almost scary. If anything should happen - if we ever got separated - I honestly think I'd die. Do you know what that's like, diary? I really can't explain it... I need him.

Hikari and yami belong together.

That's what he told me right before he kissed me. Not as desperate as the last few times - no, this was slow and tender and delicious. And our link was wide open - completely free. We usually have a least a little breathing room, but not tonight. Not for this.

I could feel everything. -Everything-.

I now know exactly what I taste like. I now know how much he likes it when I giggle. I even know... um... he likes it even more when I make this really weird noise in the back of my throat. I didn't even know I made it until I caught the stray thought while he was... um... well, let's just say there were very few clothes involved.

...he was so gentle, diary, so very careful with me... almost like he was afraid I might break if he pressed me too hard. Half the time he seemed so amazed... like he couldn't believe that I was real, and not just some sweet fantasy...

You know... he's dreamed of me before. Way before - back in Egypt. Every night since he was barely seven he's thought of me. We were both born incomplete, it seems, and ever since his childhood he's been searching for me. I'm the only person he's ever wanted. Ever.

Oh my God.

How long has he been waiting for me? Three millenia, four?

Oh God. Oh God.

How could he stand it? To be so alone for so very very long... I was alone for sixteen years and slowly going mad from it! And he...

Me? I'm just me! Scrawny, useless, weak little Yugi Motou. What am I worth? Nothing - just a boy. To him... I don't know what I am.

How could he wait for so long for me?

...he does love me. I've said it before - but he loves me. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me! All the things I can never do... I want to scream it to the sky, to dance out in the street, to laugh and sing and proclaim it to the heavens!

Oh God, this is incredible! I love him so much, so much I can hardly breathe! I can't help myself, not really. I've ached for him for forever...

...the way he feels inside me... it's the only time I've ever seen him cry. Not much, mind you - the hint of imperfect diamonds glittering on the edge of passionate ruby. But just that first sweet moment when he lost himself completely inside me... Our bond was so strong then, pain and pleasure searing down our link like... I can't find the words for it.

He buried his face against my neck and gave a single sob then - raw and aching and awful, dragged up from the darkest recesses of his soul. I could feel everything about him then - body all tense and coiled against me, fingers clenching into my own almost painfully, and a heated mental embrace that was almost frantic in its urgency. Then he... we... God, but it felt so good...

He needs me so much. Feeling like this... like I couldn't stand to breathe without him... It's completely crazy, I know it is. It's only been two days since our first kiss. A mere two days and neither of us could stand it anymore. God, what I would do just to reach him... maybe I really am insane. I'd shatter the world for him, I know it now.

God, I just don't care anymore! It doesn't matter what anyone thinks! What do they know about this? He's my yami, and we're bound together for eternity, and I will be damned before I let anyone break us apart. Not after this. Not after everything. I've fought too hard, sacrificed too much to lose him now.

I lost something tonight. But what I gained in return... worth it a thousandfold.

I'm not a little kid anymore.

I'm sixteen years old. He was seventeen when he... died. It's not that much of a difference - if only a few thousand years hadn't been tossed between us, we would be an ordinary couple.

Ordinary?

I sometimes forget that normal doesn't exist for us. I should realize it - the reason has a possessive arm draped around me still. He's so warm... and I love the way he smells. When I breathe him in - the cool shift of airy linens and jasmine, sun and kohl, and underneath it all is pure delicious Yugioh.

His kisses taste like he does. Spice and rich sweetmeats, and a softly teasing tanginess when he isn't trying to devour me.

Not that I mind when he does try. I've discovered I like being devoured. I like the way he moves. I like the way he touches me.

And the way we make love... that completion, that wonder... I would let him take me a thousand times over just to see that in his eyes. And he likes making me cry. Never in pain - but he loves my every quiver and gasp. It's sort of strange to know something like that, but he knows just how much I like it when he purrs. I like it when we're alone and he's all smirky and flirting and grabby. I like the way he flashes between diamond-hard control and madness-tinted rage. It seems strange - violence and brutally beautiful efficiency as he carelessly destroys those fools who would dare to challenge him, contrasted with... me. And still I don't mind, because I like the way we fit together. I like the way he completes me.

I like knowing how completely devoted he is. I'm the only thing in this world he will ever love - maybe I'm being selfish, but he's mine. He'll always be mine.

He can never leave me. He can never love anyone but me.

How many lovers have eternity promised within that first night? Not two hours ago I was still an innocent - still am in many ways, I suppose, as compared to my darker half - and now? Now my spine is sparking with dull agony - I'll be walking painfully tomorrow, I just know it.

What if someone notices?

What if grandpa notices?!

My God, he'll never approve! He isn't comfortable around my yami, and I just slept with my yami! Not making out, not heavy petting, not playing. We just... started kissing, and then neither one of us could stop.

Bad enough that I lost my virginity, but to a man, and to my yami?

...he'll hate me.

No, it doesn't matter! Not when I have my yami. Nothing else matters. Nothing. Nothing except the way he loves me. And he does, he does, he does so much it's terrifying. We got so tangled together - our bond and the joining melded us inside each other even closer than before - God, I can feel his heartbeat even from here - and I know he loves me. We can't get away from each other. Never.

The wanting - it's terrible. Aching and needing and hurting and just longing to be lost within him... it's a tight black knot in my chest that's only eased by the touch of his hands.

The frantic way we joined - so tender, yes, but the way he held me, the way he kissed me, even the way I dragged his so-willing body to mine... I almost can't believe I had the nerve to ask it of him. We forgot how to speak aloud after the first few moments - we always do. Words are so clumsy, they just get in the way - I don't need to speak to know the way he feels.

He's not used to being shy - but he kept hesitating after we landed in the bed, even after I ripped off his pants he kept sending little inquiring mental nudges my way. To think he'd been so bold when we were sprawled out on the floor...

It's so sinfully easy to drown in it. I lost myself for the longest time - we were so close then, mindsoulbodyself completely intwined. We still are, I think, because there's a slow feeling of warm contentment glowing in the back of my mind, and he's still out like a light.

You know, I'm probably ruining my eyes writing by moonlight, but what if I wake up and don't remember? Has the whole night just been a fantasy or a fever dream?

If so, then I never want to wake up. Reality just can't compare.

Not to this.

Not to anything.

And even if I do wake in the morning, and Yami isn't at my side, and I can't taste him on my lips... then just for tonight, I'll love him forever.

It doesn't matter what he's done, or what he will do, because he'll do it all for me.

He loves me, diary.

He loves me.

* * *

He's asleep now.

He was writing in his diary, before. He fell asleep with it propped open on the pillow. He's so careless, sometimes, in his schoolwork and the like... not that it really matters. He was made for greater things.

My sweet little hikari... mine.

He worries for his grandfather, I know. He will worry for his friends. He will worry for me - for what I could do. For what I could never do.

I did not fight eternity only to lose him now.

They will not understand - how could they? They know nothing of waiting forever and a day, know nothing of finally claiming their own precious savior.

No one can ever understand save those who were trapped in hell alongside me.

We all know. Fear and pain? Mere trifles against a larger ache. Try and block out the endless shadows and receive only mocking laughter in ruthless return.

Light is never so treasured as by those who have been blinded.

Try it. Try choking on the darkness until all you breathe is the night. Try wandering the endless pathways of your mind until days melt into years and into centuries more, and still all you can do is keep searching and pray for the darkness to vanish.

There are times when I must have been mad.

Rant and tear your hear and scream at the dank walls when only the echoes of your voice come back to haunt you.

Loneliness? Mere loneliness? Who would dare to name it such a paltry thing?

After an agony of waiting I scraped my way back into sanity and I will not allow anyone to take what I have found.

Yugi is mine.

Ever since he first drew breath he belonged to me.

A spark lit the endless shadows - wild and pure and untainted. And I - I who had been sleeping away the madness awoke with a cry.

Mine!

Sweet soft pretty thing, shining brilliantly in my darkness, a treasure more precious than any kingdom ever had laid at my feet.

Such a delicate soul - a gentle warmth I had never felt. Purity that did not burn. I could only watch from afar, barely aware - but he lived. And now...

Finally.

Finally.

He's finally mine.

And he loves me with a wild madness one could not suspect in one so innocent.

Yes.

They can never understand. They are not worthy of him.

Could they drag themselves out from hell to be at his side?

And tell me, if they found him, would they love him until he drowned in it? Would they hold him unto eternity? Would they dare to claim him as their own?

How much would they give to possess him?

How many would they kill for his sake?

What would they sacrifice to lay at his feet?

How badly would they need him? How painfully could they desire him?

Would they be brave enough to face the madness? Would they be man enough to face his light? Could they dare to embrace that innocence, or would they be cowards alone?

How long could they torment themselves with denial? From the first moment they drowsy eyes were open? From the first time he saw their faces? From the first insant when he gasped their names? From the shy hesitance of that first, frightened touch? Or would they be lost when they saw his soul? Would everything vanish when they saw his eyes? How often would they dream of that first embrace? Could it ever come?

Answer that, darkness.

Take me if you can.

But don't ever think that you'll win.

Because he belongs to me.

I staked my claim on his soul and the gods be damned if they think they can steal him from me now.

Now and forever.

He's mine.

My light. My life. My soul.

Mine.

* * *

AN: Hah. Got into Yami's head, I did. Scary place. Go me!

ATTENTION!!! I have noticed that somehow some people have gotten confused as to who did what, so I present the following list of who did what, in order.

Honda/Tristan - Possession
Yugi - Sweet Surrender
Grandpa - Fear
Yami Bakura - Black and White
Ryou - Good Enough
Seto - Elsewhere
Side Story #1 - Hold On
Anzu/Tea - Witness
Mai - Ice Cream
Side Story #2 - Circle
Rei - Adia
Mokuba - Strange World
Yugi and Yami - Into the Fire

Also, please do take note that I label every chapter with who it's about.

Oh, and gimme feedback!

Email: mjalta@yahoo.com

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