Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Random Yu-Gi-Oh!-ness ❯ Perverts, Poker, and Gay Millennium Items ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: KyouSohmafanatic 
Malik and Marik are really perverts in disguise, a poor telemarketer will never be the same.
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.17.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 329 | Status: Work In Progress
Malik and Marik are really perverts in disguise, a poor telemarketer will never be the same.
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.17.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 329 | Status: Work In Progress
Random Yu-Gi-Oh!-ness
Me: I had so much fun writing the first chapter so Im back for the next one.
Malik: Oh, Ra help us.
Me: Ra ain’t gonna save you.
(A bolt of yellow-ish gold comes down from the sky)
??: Sure I will.
Me: (twitch) Holy hell! The sky talked! (twitch)
Malik: -_- It was Ra.
Me: I have seen Ra! @_@ And lived to tell about!!
Malik: The girl doesn’t own anything but her love for us, the SHGCTIRGC, IAFHSGWLP (You’ll see) and (I hold up a piece of paper that says, ‘I love Ryou, Bakura, Malik, Marik, Dark Magician, and Seto!) that piece of paper.
Thingys you should know:
( actions)
[author notes]
|||Hikaris to Yamis|||
:::Yamis to Hikaris:::
Answers to Reviewers:
michew: Sure Yami can visit you tonight! ^_^
Fallin Dark Angel: Lol. (Hands a life boat, and a bucket) Don’t sink.
____________________________________________________________
(At the top a puny little hill in the park)
Me: Hide me Malik. I don’t want to die a virgin!
Malik: You’re a virgin?!
Me: --’ Yes I am. And don’t get any ideas…
Malik: (drool) ^__________________^
Me: (hits him into the sandbox that’s about 25 feet away) YOU DAMN PERVERT! GET THOSE DAMN THOUGHTS OUTTA YOUR F***** HEAD YOU BASTARD! YOU SHOULD BURN IN THE SHADOW REALM AND THEN HAVE YOUR **** CUT OFF AND SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT WHILE YOU ROAST OVER A FIRE, AND THEN HAVE THE MILLENNIUM ROD SHOVED UP YOUR ASS AND THEN BE EATEN ALIVE BY THE HALF NAKED NATIVES IN THE SHADOW REALM!!!!! +_+
(By now the parents have covered theirs kids ears and mumbling about the outburst)
Malik: @_@ Im sorry.
Me: OKAY! ^_^
Marik: Aha! I have found ye! Ye thought ye could hide from me?! Ye shall pay a terrible price.
Malik: O_o Ye? What does that mean?
Me: (slaps forehead) Ye is old people talk way back when.
Marik: I will get you! (literally tackles me)
(After falling to the ground, we ended up in a ‘awkward’ position, and in return we got looks of disapproval from the old people who could be mummy’s.)
Me: (Apple red) I don’t like him! Its not like tha- What the hell is that look for you old crone?! Yea, well same to you! (flips off the old crone) (Then gets hit on the head by Marik)
Marik: I win.
Me: What’d you hit me with?
Marik: (Holds up the Millennium Rod)
(Back at Ryou’s house)
Me: Okay.
All: ??
Me: I have a question. Who the hell named (holds up the millennium rod) this item? They have to make it sound so damn perverted. (gasp and drop the item) What if it was made by a pervert? Who knows what those items have been through! Eww, what someone did something with Mariks item. Eww… I need disinfectant! Ew…Oh Ra! What about the millennium ring. Oh Ra, that’s even sicker then the millennium rod. Ryou!! Get me disinfectant and hot water! Eww…Oh and to think what the blade on the millennium rod. Ugh! All kinds of peoples blood. X_x
Bakura, Marik, and Malik: O_o.
Ryou: (Comes in with water and disinfectant)
Me: (Starts to frantically scrub the items, after slipping on those yellow gloves you use when you clean…) There! (Hands items back their owners)
(Items are sparkly, and shiny, and shimmer-y)
Millennium Rod, and Ring: YAY! We’re clean again!
Me, Marik, Malik, Bakura, and Ryou: O_o
(A poof of purple smoke appears and clears and reveals a Dark Magician)
Me: (jumps up and glomps)
Ryou: How’d he get here?
Me: I dunno! And I don’t care!! (currently hugging DM around the waist and huggling him)
Bakura: What makes you so sure the DM is a guy?
Ryou: Well, Dark Magician Girl is already taken and he has to be a guy or else she wouldn’t be doing that…
Dark Magician: …=_=
Bakura: Yea, true. Or he could start crossing dressing like Pegasus.
Me: Pegasus was (cough) gay (cough)!!
Bakura: I agree there.
Me: (practically drags DM to the group circle and forces him to sit, then sits next to him and grabs his arm.)
Malik: Why do I get the feeling that she has forgotten about us?
DM: -_- =_= ‘I knew I should’ve listen to my mother and not become some pretty boy card. But noo I did and now I get glomped by DMG and every other girl out there. I could’ve been a writer but no. I choose this…’
Me: I haven’t forgotten about you guys… ^_^ You know what DM, that’s an interesting thought…
DM: O_o ‘How’d she know?!’
Me: Cuz I do! ^-^(lets go of DM’s arm) Okay Im bored now…Lets play poker!
Marik: Strip poker!
(End of game results:
Me: Fully clothed
Ryou: In boxers
Bakura: (ahem) (cough) INALLHISGLORY (cough)
Marik: In Boxers with Ra on them…
Malik: (cough) INALLHISGLORYASWELL (cough)
DM: In his hat thingy…
Bakura: How’d she bet us?
Me: (999,999 X3 shades of red) (keeps adverting gaze) Ah, ah, would you guys, ah, uh, put…ahem, some …uh…clothing material on…
Everyone but me: (Turn 30,000 X100 shades of red then scramble around to find their clothes)
(15 minutes later)
Malik: So what do you want to do know guys?
Me: ‘I will never look at these guys the same way again…’ Hey! Where’d DM get to?
(In Australia)
DM: ‘Where am I?
Random Bystander: ‘Ello, mate! What you be doin’ down under? [Honestly, I haven’t the slightest idea how they talk]
DM: ‘WTF is this guy talking about?! I ain’t their mate! What the hell they mean ‘down under’?’ Where am I?
Random Bystander: Your in with the Aussies now!
DM: ‘Aussies? There’s only one explanation for this! …[dramatic pause] …I have been Dark Magician-napped!’
(Back at Ryou’s house)
Marik: I don’t know. I challenge you to a duel, Lizzi!
[Due to the fact I don’t know Marik’s cards Im just gonna put my side of the duel. And I actually have these cards]
Me: This card I place face down, (Shift some trap card), then this card goes face down as well, (Burning Land, some magic card), then I put Millennium Shield in defense mode (ATK:0/DEF:3000), and then attack with Flame Champion, (ATK:1900/DEF:1300)
(Sometime Later)
Marik: I can’t believe it…I lost!
Me: ^_^
Millennium Ring: I feel shiny, oh so shiny, I feel shiny, and whiney, and gaaayy!!!
Ryou: o.O You know Bakura, I think there’s something wrong with your ring.
Me: Yea, I do believe its gay. (snicker)
Bakura: O.O And to think I change, bathe, and sleep with this thing…(shudder)
Me: (glomps Bakura) So…CUTE!!
M. Ring: Heh, heh, heh…
Me: PERVERTED MILLENIUM ITEM COMING THROUGH!!!! (yanks off the ring and chucks it across the room, and now its stuck in the wall…
Phone: Ring, ring, answer me, ring, ring
Ryou: (Answers the phone) Yes, their here. Okay, Ill tell them…Malik! Marik! Ishizu wants you guys home!!!!
Marik and Malik: Aww…
Malik: Tell her we’re spending the night…OR ELSE!
Ryou: (O)___(O) Uhh, Ishizu, their gonna stay the night…bye.
(5 minutes later)
Phone: Ring, ring, answer me again, ring, ring…
Ryou: (Checks caller ID) Telemarketers…Ugh!
Me: OH! Me and Malik will handle this won’t we?!
Malik: Yea! We did this at my house and they didn’t call back for a good 2 weeks! ^_^
Me: (Puts telephone on speaker) Hello?!
Random Telemarketer: Is the lady or man of the house in?
Me: Yep, that’s me! Lady of the house… Yep. Its me. Can I help ya out?
Bakura and Ryou: (glance at each other) … o.o
RT: Yes, can we interest you in refinancing your house?
Me: Eh…should I? Hmm… Maybe…Yea! …Wait no…uh…hold on! MALIK! (snicker)
Malik: Yes?
Me: Should we refinance our home?
Malik: Maybe. Why should we? We don’t know this person on the phone?
Me: Your right. They could be someone from the SHGCTIRAGC!
RT: What is the SHGCTIRGC?
Malik: It’s the Some Hobo Guy Club That Is Really A Gay Club.
Ryou: ||| (Link with Bakura) That poor telemarketer is going to need therapy after this and Im not paying for it! |||
Bakura: :::So? This is interesting:::
RT: Uh, I can assure you that Im not from that club.
Me: You here that Malik? He ‘uh’d he has to be part of that club…
RT: I can assure you, I am a lady.
Me: …Then you belong to the IAFHSGWLP.
Malik: Huh?
RT: What?
Me: I Am A Fat He She Who Likes Pegasus…
Malik: (snicker snicker)
RT: I assure Im not that either. Now would you like to refinance your home?!
Me: Oh?! You really should take anger management classes. I don’t want you to take that tone with me.
Malik: Like, I know. That is, like, so, like, uncool. You should, like, sign up for something, like, aerobics, or like something like that.
RT: -___-###
Me: Oh, I know. That is like so true. We should like sign up for that, like in a minute or two…
Marik: ‘Can’t kill the preps. Their NOT preps…their Lizzi and Malik acting like preps. PREPS GO TO HELL!!
RT: Dammit! Do you want to refinance your damn house or not?!?!!!
Me and Malik: Hmm…No!
RT: Dammit! I am never calling this house again! =_=
Me: (hangs up phone)
Malik: See?! They won’t call back for a while!
Ryou: Yes, I see. The poor chap will need serious therapy now.
Me: What did you think ‘Kura?
Bakura: That was down right hilarious!
Malik: Marik?
Marik: (twitch) Can’t (twitch) kill (twitch) prep!!)
Me: Aww…(Glomps Marik) So cute! Is Marik happier now?
Marik: (glancing down shirt) Yeah! ^___^ (drool)
Me: Good. (continues glomping Marik totally oblivious to Mariks doing)
Bakura: Hey! Marik!! That’s not fair!
Malik: (notices) O.O He’s gonna get a serious hurting when she notices…
Ryou: …
Marik: ^_____________________^ (still looking down shirt)
Me: Oh! So cute! …What are you looking at, Marik?
Marik: O______O Uh…nothing?
Me: BS! (slaps Marik) YOU’RE A DAMN PERVERT JUST LIKE YOUR HIKARI!! YOU SHOULD LIKE YOUR HIKARI BURN IN THE FIRES OF THE SHADOW REALM, WHILE THE HALF NAKED NATIVES, AND MONSTERS CUT OF YOUR **** AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT AND THEN TAKE THE MILLENNIUM ROD’S BLADE PART AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!! AND THEN ROAST OVER A FIRE!! THEN THE NATIVES WILL EAT YOU!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!! (hack, cough, wheeze…)
(With DM Somewhere)
DM: ‘Now where am I?!’
Random Person #2: Hello, my dear friend. How might you be doing today? …Bloody Hell, your hairs purple!!
DM: -_-00 ‘Looks like Im in England…’ ‘Ryou would’ve liked to visit, Im sure…’
___________________________________________________________________
Heh, I got carried away on this chapter! Its so fun to write people out of character and hurt them and stuff like that! ^_^
Seto: I’d say…
Bakura, Seto, Ryou, Marik, Malik: (walk through the door in neon green pants, and purple hair) WHAT DID YOU DO??!!!!
Me: Ohh…Well that’s where I put the purple hair dye, and my green hair dye…
Bakura, Seto Ryou, Marik and Malik: ( a flame background)
Me: Until next chapter!!!
Me: I had so much fun writing the first chapter so Im back for the next one.
Malik: Oh, Ra help us.
Me: Ra ain’t gonna save you.
(A bolt of yellow-ish gold comes down from the sky)
??: Sure I will.
Me: (twitch) Holy hell! The sky talked! (twitch)
Malik: -_- It was Ra.
Me: I have seen Ra! @_@ And lived to tell about!!
Malik: The girl doesn’t own anything but her love for us, the SHGCTIRGC, IAFHSGWLP (You’ll see) and (I hold up a piece of paper that says, ‘I love Ryou, Bakura, Malik, Marik, Dark Magician, and Seto!) that piece of paper.
Thingys you should know:
( actions)
[author notes]
|||Hikaris to Yamis|||
:::Yamis to Hikaris:::
Answers to Reviewers:
michew: Sure Yami can visit you tonight! ^_^
Fallin Dark Angel: Lol. (Hands a life boat, and a bucket) Don’t sink.
____________________________________________________________
(At the top a puny little hill in the park)
Me: Hide me Malik. I don’t want to die a virgin!
Malik: You’re a virgin?!
Me: --’ Yes I am. And don’t get any ideas…
Malik: (drool) ^__________________^
Me: (hits him into the sandbox that’s about 25 feet away) YOU DAMN PERVERT! GET THOSE DAMN THOUGHTS OUTTA YOUR F***** HEAD YOU BASTARD! YOU SHOULD BURN IN THE SHADOW REALM AND THEN HAVE YOUR **** CUT OFF AND SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT WHILE YOU ROAST OVER A FIRE, AND THEN HAVE THE MILLENNIUM ROD SHOVED UP YOUR ASS AND THEN BE EATEN ALIVE BY THE HALF NAKED NATIVES IN THE SHADOW REALM!!!!! +_+
(By now the parents have covered theirs kids ears and mumbling about the outburst)
Malik: @_@ Im sorry.
Me: OKAY! ^_^
Marik: Aha! I have found ye! Ye thought ye could hide from me?! Ye shall pay a terrible price.
Malik: O_o Ye? What does that mean?
Me: (slaps forehead) Ye is old people talk way back when.
Marik: I will get you! (literally tackles me)
(After falling to the ground, we ended up in a ‘awkward’ position, and in return we got looks of disapproval from the old people who could be mummy’s.)
Me: (Apple red) I don’t like him! Its not like tha- What the hell is that look for you old crone?! Yea, well same to you! (flips off the old crone) (Then gets hit on the head by Marik)
Marik: I win.
Me: What’d you hit me with?
Marik: (Holds up the Millennium Rod)
(Back at Ryou’s house)
Me: Okay.
All: ??
Me: I have a question. Who the hell named (holds up the millennium rod) this item? They have to make it sound so damn perverted. (gasp and drop the item) What if it was made by a pervert? Who knows what those items have been through! Eww, what someone did something with Mariks item. Eww… I need disinfectant! Ew…Oh Ra! What about the millennium ring. Oh Ra, that’s even sicker then the millennium rod. Ryou!! Get me disinfectant and hot water! Eww…Oh and to think what the blade on the millennium rod. Ugh! All kinds of peoples blood. X_x
Bakura, Marik, and Malik: O_o.
Ryou: (Comes in with water and disinfectant)
Me: (Starts to frantically scrub the items, after slipping on those yellow gloves you use when you clean…) There! (Hands items back their owners)
(Items are sparkly, and shiny, and shimmer-y)
Millennium Rod, and Ring: YAY! We’re clean again!
Me, Marik, Malik, Bakura, and Ryou: O_o
(A poof of purple smoke appears and clears and reveals a Dark Magician)
Me: (jumps up and glomps)
Ryou: How’d he get here?
Me: I dunno! And I don’t care!! (currently hugging DM around the waist and huggling him)
Bakura: What makes you so sure the DM is a guy?
Ryou: Well, Dark Magician Girl is already taken and he has to be a guy or else she wouldn’t be doing that…
Dark Magician: …=_=
Bakura: Yea, true. Or he could start crossing dressing like Pegasus.
Me: Pegasus was (cough) gay (cough)!!
Bakura: I agree there.
Me: (practically drags DM to the group circle and forces him to sit, then sits next to him and grabs his arm.)
Malik: Why do I get the feeling that she has forgotten about us?
DM: -_- =_= ‘I knew I should’ve listen to my mother and not become some pretty boy card. But noo I did and now I get glomped by DMG and every other girl out there. I could’ve been a writer but no. I choose this…’
Me: I haven’t forgotten about you guys… ^_^ You know what DM, that’s an interesting thought…
DM: O_o ‘How’d she know?!’
Me: Cuz I do! ^-^(lets go of DM’s arm) Okay Im bored now…Lets play poker!
Marik: Strip poker!
(End of game results:
Me: Fully clothed
Ryou: In boxers
Bakura: (ahem) (cough) INALLHISGLORY (cough)
Marik: In Boxers with Ra on them…
Malik: (cough) INALLHISGLORYASWELL (cough)
DM: In his hat thingy…
Bakura: How’d she bet us?
Me: (999,999 X3 shades of red) (keeps adverting gaze) Ah, ah, would you guys, ah, uh, put…ahem, some …uh…clothing material on…
Everyone but me: (Turn 30,000 X100 shades of red then scramble around to find their clothes)
(15 minutes later)
Malik: So what do you want to do know guys?
Me: ‘I will never look at these guys the same way again…’ Hey! Where’d DM get to?
(In Australia)
DM: ‘Where am I?
Random Bystander: ‘Ello, mate! What you be doin’ down under? [Honestly, I haven’t the slightest idea how they talk]
DM: ‘WTF is this guy talking about?! I ain’t their mate! What the hell they mean ‘down under’?’ Where am I?
Random Bystander: Your in with the Aussies now!
DM: ‘Aussies? There’s only one explanation for this! …[dramatic pause] …I have been Dark Magician-napped!’
(Back at Ryou’s house)
Marik: I don’t know. I challenge you to a duel, Lizzi!
[Due to the fact I don’t know Marik’s cards Im just gonna put my side of the duel. And I actually have these cards]
Me: This card I place face down, (Shift some trap card), then this card goes face down as well, (Burning Land, some magic card), then I put Millennium Shield in defense mode (ATK:0/DEF:3000), and then attack with Flame Champion, (ATK:1900/DEF:1300)
(Sometime Later)
Marik: I can’t believe it…I lost!
Me: ^_^
Millennium Ring: I feel shiny, oh so shiny, I feel shiny, and whiney, and gaaayy!!!
Ryou: o.O You know Bakura, I think there’s something wrong with your ring.
Me: Yea, I do believe its gay. (snicker)
Bakura: O.O And to think I change, bathe, and sleep with this thing…(shudder)
Me: (glomps Bakura) So…CUTE!!
M. Ring: Heh, heh, heh…
Me: PERVERTED MILLENIUM ITEM COMING THROUGH!!!! (yanks off the ring and chucks it across the room, and now its stuck in the wall…
Phone: Ring, ring, answer me, ring, ring
Ryou: (Answers the phone) Yes, their here. Okay, Ill tell them…Malik! Marik! Ishizu wants you guys home!!!!
Marik and Malik: Aww…
Malik: Tell her we’re spending the night…OR ELSE!
Ryou: (O)___(O) Uhh, Ishizu, their gonna stay the night…bye.
(5 minutes later)
Phone: Ring, ring, answer me again, ring, ring…
Ryou: (Checks caller ID) Telemarketers…Ugh!
Me: OH! Me and Malik will handle this won’t we?!
Malik: Yea! We did this at my house and they didn’t call back for a good 2 weeks! ^_^
Me: (Puts telephone on speaker) Hello?!
Random Telemarketer: Is the lady or man of the house in?
Me: Yep, that’s me! Lady of the house… Yep. Its me. Can I help ya out?
Bakura and Ryou: (glance at each other) … o.o
RT: Yes, can we interest you in refinancing your house?
Me: Eh…should I? Hmm… Maybe…Yea! …Wait no…uh…hold on! MALIK! (snicker)
Malik: Yes?
Me: Should we refinance our home?
Malik: Maybe. Why should we? We don’t know this person on the phone?
Me: Your right. They could be someone from the SHGCTIRAGC!
RT: What is the SHGCTIRGC?
Malik: It’s the Some Hobo Guy Club That Is Really A Gay Club.
Ryou: ||| (Link with Bakura) That poor telemarketer is going to need therapy after this and Im not paying for it! |||
Bakura: :::So? This is interesting:::
RT: Uh, I can assure you that Im not from that club.
Me: You here that Malik? He ‘uh’d he has to be part of that club…
RT: I can assure you, I am a lady.
Me: …Then you belong to the IAFHSGWLP.
Malik: Huh?
RT: What?
Me: I Am A Fat He She Who Likes Pegasus…
Malik: (snicker snicker)
RT: I assure Im not that either. Now would you like to refinance your home?!
Me: Oh?! You really should take anger management classes. I don’t want you to take that tone with me.
Malik: Like, I know. That is, like, so, like, uncool. You should, like, sign up for something, like, aerobics, or like something like that.
RT: -___-###
Me: Oh, I know. That is like so true. We should like sign up for that, like in a minute or two…
Marik: ‘Can’t kill the preps. Their NOT preps…their Lizzi and Malik acting like preps. PREPS GO TO HELL!!
RT: Dammit! Do you want to refinance your damn house or not?!?!!!
Me and Malik: Hmm…No!
RT: Dammit! I am never calling this house again! =_=
Me: (hangs up phone)
Malik: See?! They won’t call back for a while!
Ryou: Yes, I see. The poor chap will need serious therapy now.
Me: What did you think ‘Kura?
Bakura: That was down right hilarious!
Malik: Marik?
Marik: (twitch) Can’t (twitch) kill (twitch) prep!!)
Me: Aww…(Glomps Marik) So cute! Is Marik happier now?
Marik: (glancing down shirt) Yeah! ^___^ (drool)
Me: Good. (continues glomping Marik totally oblivious to Mariks doing)
Bakura: Hey! Marik!! That’s not fair!
Malik: (notices) O.O He’s gonna get a serious hurting when she notices…
Ryou: …
Marik: ^_____________________^ (still looking down shirt)
Me: Oh! So cute! …What are you looking at, Marik?
Marik: O______O Uh…nothing?
Me: BS! (slaps Marik) YOU’RE A DAMN PERVERT JUST LIKE YOUR HIKARI!! YOU SHOULD LIKE YOUR HIKARI BURN IN THE FIRES OF THE SHADOW REALM, WHILE THE HALF NAKED NATIVES, AND MONSTERS CUT OF YOUR **** AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT AND THEN TAKE THE MILLENNIUM ROD’S BLADE PART AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!! AND THEN ROAST OVER A FIRE!! THEN THE NATIVES WILL EAT YOU!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!! (hack, cough, wheeze…)
(With DM Somewhere)
DM: ‘Now where am I?!’
Random Person #2: Hello, my dear friend. How might you be doing today? …Bloody Hell, your hairs purple!!
DM: -_-00 ‘Looks like Im in England…’ ‘Ryou would’ve liked to visit, Im sure…’
___________________________________________________________________
Heh, I got carried away on this chapter! Its so fun to write people out of character and hurt them and stuff like that! ^_^
Seto: I’d say…
Bakura, Seto, Ryou, Marik, Malik: (walk through the door in neon green pants, and purple hair) WHAT DID YOU DO??!!!!
Me: Ohh…Well that’s where I put the purple hair dye, and my green hair dye…
Bakura, Seto Ryou, Marik and Malik: ( a flame background)
Me: Until next chapter!!!