Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Reason to Live ❯ Saved pt. 3 ( Chapter 5 )

Reason to Live: by Angela (orangeaura868)

Chapter 3:Saved (part 3)

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Yami

I can see Yugi in front of me running towards the front desk completely out of breath. Inwardly I don't see why he could care so much for the Tomb Robber's hikari.

It is wrong for me to think that way…is it not?

Just under 30 minutes ago we had been at his house and walked through the blood-stained halls and now I'm feeling the slightest bit tired of this all. Unbelievably…it is not my place to feel this way.

The morning had passed by relatively nicely, if a bit dull, and the afternoon I had finally carried out one of my plans…to spend precious time with my koi. I admit that I feel annoyed at this all happening. I admit I truly am angry with the Tomb Robber…but now I consider how right it was for Ryou to do this. By sacrificing himself…he would be eliminating the Tomb Robber, which I would imagine would satisfy several people including myself.

It is certainly wrong to think this, is it not?

Bitter laughs echo through my mind…ironic. It's ironic that I, the once Pharaoh should depend and hope for death to be my answer, not to mention death of others. Bitterly I remind myself that Ryou did not do this for my benefit as much as his own.

Ironic…terribly ironic that even now with Yugi running frantically through the hospital looking for Ryou, that I am picturing his death. Then again, if he does die…it would be a tremendous profit.

I am definitely not in my right mind today…Yugi is worried sick for his friend. With so much weighing him down, how could he possibly leave this earth? He will live…I'm sure of it…meaning that I'll need to have a little chat with that idiot Tomb Robber. Damn him and his inconsiderant nature and his utter stupidity…he was the one who caused this marvelous day to go wrong.

Auck! Damn this headache too.

Normal

The hallways turned sharply from time to time with nurses pushing senior citizens on wheelchairs roaming the blatantly white passages oblivious to the looming possibility of death. Death was a quite a normal thing here anyway…so why fuss about it?

Yugi continued to run at his surprisingly fast pace dodging from side to side to avoid collisions with medical assistants, as he himself could not bare the gray clouds overbearing themselves so foolishly. Darkness fogged above his soul and he could feel the disturbance of the shadows opening a small tunnel…hoping to consume a dead soul.

Pitter pats resounded throughout the hospital as Yugi and Yami ran across the white tiled floor. The complete absence of color in itself could be horrifying not to mention the life of a friend hanging in the balance.

Hanging could barely describe the feeling of foreboding that only the Millennium Item holders could feel. Death was playing a harsh game with the shadows and the compromise they had come up with was not good for a certain white-haired hikari who was hanging…hanging over Death and with it the Shadows.

The air was unusually cold but not frosty…simply not warm or inviting, numerous people walked along escorting their relatives home after a check-up unaware of the chill. The laughed and smiled in the elation that they were in good health. Still they were oblivious…only Yugi and his yami could feel the terrible bitterness of shadows manifest itself into the walls of the building. Only Yugi and Yami could because they were the only ones with an item other than Ryou [1]…who for obvious reasons cannot be included.

"Watch it boys! No running in the hospital!" called out a rather irritable nurse who was carting a load of medical bandages. Several rolls of the tape like bandages fell from the cart and extraordinarily Yugi did not stop to help the woman but instead ran on while shouting a hurried `sorry!' He completely ignored the warning to stop running and in fact increased his pace through the halls.

Having recalled the directions given to him at the front desk, Yugi looked frantically around for Ryou's room. With his sharp memory he soon calmed down enough to remember the directions.

Ryou was currently in the surgical room down the East Wing and Yugi rushed forward in that area followed closely by Yami.

Yugi turned down a short hallway from the larger one and finally stopped…breathless.

Ryou was at the very end of the hallway inside the two closed doors with small rectangular windows on either one…though it was quite pointless seeing that they were completely fogged up. He was getting a blood transfusion and stitches. Even now the sign above the door reading `Surgery in Process' was lit red signifying that nothing was certain yet.

Jou, Honda, and Anzu were already there waiting outside the surgical room. Jou was pacing around, obviously restless while Honda and Anzu sat on the bench…with Honda tapping his foot impatiently. Shizuka was standing off to the side having apparently decided to accompany her brother. She was wringing out her fingers and fretting nervously while watching her brothers furrowed brows and stressed expression with worry. The group turned their heads towards Yugi and Yami as they both slowed to a stop out of breath and panting.

Yami had his hands on his knees and was regaining his regal composure fast while Yugi continued to pant as he tried to walk over to Joey looking like he would tip over at any given moment.

Anzu got up immediately from her seat and rushed towards the late arrivals.

"Yami! Yugi! Don't run yourselves out like that! Are you all right?! We got here as soon as you called. What happened?!" Yugi put his hands out in front of him to ward back the extremely worried Anzu.

"Calm down, we're fine it's Ryou we should be worried about."

"I know! But…I'm just frustrated, I mean…who knew that this could possibly happen today?!" Anzu let out a deep breath trying very hard to keep under control despite everything going on in this hectic night.

Yugi swept his bangs out of his way having gotten that way from the running. Honda also stood up but he instead walked over to Shizuka [2] and began to comfort her instead. She was visibly shaking the more she thought and pondered over suicide…the idea did not appeal to her and in fact scared her quite a bit.

Yami stood up straight now and faced the group.

"Where's Bakura?" He asked with the slightest bit of unhidden anger, hatred and utter disgust…the exact same tone that the reply was given in.

"Behind you, Pharaoh!"

Yami whipped around searching for the source of the voice and finding none his temper quickly rose.

"Show yourself!" He growled out in frustration.

The invisible shadows from the walls seemed to collect together in dark smoke and an image of Yami no Bakura flickered right before Yami's eyes. The two spirits stared hard at each other both were glaring daggers at the other.

Several moments of tension and unease blended together, drawing itself out before finally, Yami spoke.

"We. Need. To. Talk."

The rest of the group dispersed with sudden intentions on `getting a drink' or `calling their parents'. Yugi stayed behind but made no motion to join in.

Both spirits were frustrated as it were and talking it out might not make this day all better. They glared even more before Yami took a seat…leaving Bakura to stand before him. Bakura, noticing this act of superiority immediately took a seat as well and continued to glare at the Pharaoh.

Bakura simply wanted to stop flickering…and with that hoping that his hikari wouldn't die from running dry out of blood. His thoughts were something along the lines of `Curses to this entire fucking day.'

Yami was severely ticked by what this day had brought…gloom and despair. His thoughts were mainly `You can count on that idiot Tomb Robber to make things bad.'

Silence seemed to reign and the talk seemed to be forgotten. Ryou could die at any given point! It doesn't matter that it was a suicide caused from Bakura's beating. That much detail doesn't even apply…the plain fact was that Ryou was in danger and Bakura had caused it. Yami simply couldn't stand and watch this happen.

Bakura

"What in Ra's name were you thinking Tomb Robber?"

Exactly…what was I thinking? What was I thinking when I beat him?

Simple really…I was bored, he looks fun to torture, I took it too far, and then I had to save him. Simple…no point behind my actions at all…but…then…then he had to commit suicide. Foolish thing, its all his fault really. Does the Pharaoh honestly think I could feel bad for this?! It's not my fault the stupid hikari hates his life…then again…how could he not when I rule it?

"Why ever would you assume that I was even thinking?" I answer back, "I didn't need to think, I simply did what I wanted to."

"Then you wanted this to happen? Don't think we didn't find out about how long this has been going on. You're lucky we didn't have this talk sooner seeing that Ryou's father came back…pity it doesn't make Ryou lucky in any way."

"Luck has nothing to do with anything. You hesitated to do anything and you still would've hesitated even if Ryou's father did not return."

He's growling in frustration now and I can't help but smirk.

"Stop hurting Ryou!" He yells out…a wonderful ploy to change the subject.

"What I do to my hikari is not your concern!"

"It is when he is in the hospital because he tried to commit suicide!"

My spirit form seemed to diminish and I asked darkly, "Who ever said he only tried?"

"Then you admit you might fade away at any moment? Tell me…if you weren't thinking then…what are you thinking now? Why do you do it?"

He really ticks me off sometimes. "I'm thinking how my idiot of a weak hikari is to blame for this all. I'm thinking that if he dies it will be completely his own fault." That answer satisfies me…it is true, after all it's from his own actions that he is here.

"You're a fool, Tomb Robber." I bristled. "Don't you know that he hates you? Don't you know that he would sacrifice his life to be rid of you? Don't you know how hopeless someone must be to give up on life? How do you feel to know that your own hikari hates you enough to end everything?"

"You know that I can't feel…it's his own fault. He was always weak, he's even weaker now because he gives up like that."

"You still dare to call him weak!? You're flickering, on and off, barely here in this world and you still call him weak!? You're a mere shadow here almost fading away and he was the one who did this to you, tell me…is he still weak?"

I look dead into his eye. "Yes."

He sighs pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes clenched shut and suddenly the joy of causing others pain is back. Awful feeling, caused the whole thing…worthless no good sadistic streaks. He's looking up at me again.

"Why do you do it?"

I'm about to burst now. This whole afternoon I've been thinking about that! This whole fucking afternoon! I wish I knew, really I did. I don't know why I started and I don't think that even know given the chance…I don't know if I could stop. Something makes me want to shatter him. Something makes me not give a shit and suddenly inflict pain in any way possible. This whole ride here…I've been going over and over my thoughts over and over again.

"NO.REASON!" I get up now, this is frustrating! "Do you honestly think there's a reason for everything? Do you honestly think there is a reason why we are even alive now? Do you honestly think I have to do everything with a reason?!"

"He's your hikari! If you beat him, then why? If you insult him, then why? Of course there is a reason for everything out there. I'm here to protect Yugi…to be with him…to love him even. You…you however need to learn to adjust to these times. This isn't Egypt anymore…you have a responsibility to your hikari."

I'm laughing on the inside now…bitter bitter laughter. Pharaoh loves his hikari. Good for you then Pharaoh…it isn't always so easy. It isn't always as you say. It isn't always I'm the yami and he's the hikari and I must protect him. You said it yourself…he hates me.

Just recently I had beat him, and cut him like he were nothing…I had even called him that Just then I had been evil…yes…I knew I was in the wrong but after I healed him a bit it was better. I had had my fun and Ryou was still alive then…but now he had attempted suicide…now I might `die' as well.

"If he lives, will you change for the better?"

Will I? It would be quite a change…I'm not the mushy type and I certainly don't love my hikari.

"Who ever said he would live, Pharaoh? For all the both of us know…he could die, I could die and you and your damn hikari would continue your oh-so-happy life. I'd be gone, and you'd be happy…you being the only yami left and Yugi being the only hikari left. Perfect, no?"

"He's going to live!"

Really? You seem to be more like convincing yourself. Don't lie…you would be happy if he died. I would die as well and you know that would be what you want.

"When he recovers…Will. You. Stop?"

I look back at him. I can't imagine changing. I can't imagine change in general and this is surprisingly overwhelming. I can't think of how a day would go with Ryou coming back and me doing nothing at all. It would be to boring for me.

Did I ever have intentions on hurting him?…Yes.

So will I change?

"I'll think about it."

"That isn't good enough!"

"And what is?!" I demanded, " is this `chat' supposed to make me realize anything?! Am I supposed to instantly regret everything so that you can go on with your merry life !? Things don't work like that! Did I hurt him? Yes…Did I mean to? Hell yeah I did! Do I regret any of it?…Only today. Will I do it again? Maybe…I don't know! Let me think about it!"

I'm up on my feet and taking deep breathes. I'm so frustrated and so confused! Yes…I'm confused. Rewind to yesterday and give me time to convince my hikari not to commit suicide…then this wouldn't happen.

This is annoying the hell outta me and I just want it to stop! I'm not sure why I do things the way I do anymore!

I can feel the blood still stick in my mouth…the metallic taste. I can remember the dark house and his screams as I beat him…cut him…and even poured salt on him. I seemed so different then…so predatorily driven. Even now I don't seem to know how to stop.

I'm staring at him now…Pharaoh is staring back. I really hate him…I loathe him…his pathetic tries in changing me…I hate it.

"Yugi has an idea…let Ryou stay with us for a while."

Unconsciously I find myself nod before finding that a strange noise was heard.

Ding!

The light over the surgery door is off and the double doors are opened and Ryou is pushed out from there into the room next door. The doctor stands in front of us…I'm not too surprised to know that he can see me now.

"Mr. Bakura, Ryou is in a stable condition."

Good…He's saved.

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Orange: Sorry for not updating in so long and I'm also sorry if this chapter doesn't quite meet up with any expectations. Lately I've been rereading parts of RtL and I really find it…lacking. I'm thinking that the little Yugi/Yami moment should be rewritten to actually flow with the rest of the story. I also had some trouble making this chapter gloomy sad and depressing so that you know that Ryou could either live or die…I think I need to work on my angst…personally I say it should be darker. It really doesn't please me much and I suppose it's somewhat of a filler chapter seeing that not a lot of plot was introduced. Sorry.

I'm thinking of rewriting this whole thing…some things just aren't satisfactory…probably won't do that soon seeing that I'm a lazy bum but…yeah.

Ryou: Don't be too hard on yourself.

Bakura: I personally agree with Orange…I'm not fond of my mood changes.

Yami: I can't believe you made me cruel! I'm actually hoping for Ryou to die!? Even Tomb Robber isn't that malicious!

Yugi: You have to admit the kissing thing was good right?

Ryou: If a bit out of place…I mean…I'm committing suicide and you two are snogging!

Orange: Umm…yeah…sorry for making you guys wait so long and thank you all for reviewing!

Thank you: Frances, Tokyo, Black-Flare-Shadow, It'sHardToBelieve,

Saffron-starlight, Maruken, silver-dagger-113, xxlilazngrlxx, Sir Mocha, Dark Magician Girl/ Hikaru, sansty-san, and Bakus-gal200

[1]= In my fic Yami and Bakura don't know about Malik yet.

[2]= Shizuka is Serenity if any of you are wondering…and I know that not all 13 year olds would cry at the thought of suicide…heck…I'm 13…I should know. However…Serenity/Shizuka comes off as the weak type to me.

Again: Sorry if it's short or not as well written…right now I'm in an actually depressed mood…which surprises me greatly. Anyway…I think I should be able to write better…I really feel like rewriting…it's so awful I feel like killing it…and I should warn you that the plot will be slow. Thanks for reading…remember to review…until next time…Ja!