Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Very RAndomNeSS YUgiOH stOrY!!!!! ❯ nooo!! my hamsteak is ALIVE!!! ( Chapter 16 )

DISCLAIMER:::::: I own nothing except the unicorns, the diamond palace, my random quotes and……… THE TOMATO SOUP!!!!!!!! (see below)

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Malik: WAHOOOOO!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Psycho: O_o What's up with him?

Bakura: *shrugs* Ask his other half.

Psycho: *to Malik* What's up?

Malik: I GOT GIFTS!!!!

Psycho: You did? Lemme check. *sorts through `gift files'* Hmm…well I'll be darned…the blonde is right…

Malik: *snarls, mutters at the `blonde' part* Now give 'em to me! Gimme gimme gimme!

Psycho: Hold up…not ALL the gifts are for you…

Malik: Huh???

Psycho: But you still get a lot!!! ^_^. The others are for… Bakura, Seto and… Mai?! o_O

Bakura: Yay!!!

Mai: Hmm… I hope it's more mini skirts!

Seto: *mumbling, muttering*

Malik: Just get on with it! Me first! Me first!

Psycho: Ok…*takes out list* From Lollipop Giggles, a new dagger, the Millennium Scales and a killing extravaganza for-

Malik: Thank you for the-

Psycho: They aint for you, nitwit…

Malik: WHAT?!!!!

Psycho: They're for Bakura.

Bakura: *smugly* I'll take these…and I'll be going now…*goes away on his killing spree*

Psycho: ^_^ That's my Bakura!

Malik: *rolls eyes* How'd Lollipop Giggles get a hold of the Millennium Scales anyway?

Psycho: Dude, MM.org allows anyone to do anything. Either that or she stole them from Shadi.

*in the background* Shadi: I'VE BEEN ROBBED!!! NOOOO!!!

Malik: *already bored* What about MY gifts???!!!!

Psycho: You have lots of gifts!!! Patience is a virtue… which you don't have.

Malik: -_- Get on with it

Psycho: The next is…a question for you, Malik.

Malik: Finally

Psycho: Okay, Lollipop Giggles asks you… are you a virgin? And if not, who was it with?

Malik: O_O I am not obliged to answer that question! *goes beet red*

Psycho: Of COURSE you are. Go on now. Fangirls have the right to ask anything and everything.

Malik: I will only answer one part of the question. NO I am not a virgin, but I shall NOT say WHO it was with. So there. *sticks out tongue and folds his arms*

Psycho: -_- sorry Lollipop Giggles.

LG: THAT'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!! *is hyper*

Psycho: o_O okay………… now that Lollipop Giggles is hyper and Malik is embarrassed, why don't we go onto the next presents?! KAIBA!!! GET YOUR RUNTY ASS IN HERE THIS MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!

Kaiba: *walks in* What do you want, mortal?!

Psycho:-_-; Kaiba, you're mortal TOO you know…

Kaiba: And your point is?

Psycho: Nevermind. You have a gift.

Kaiba: Joy

Psycho: Yes, joy. It's from Aisheteru_Kaiba; she gives you a gigantic red silk bed in the shape of a love-heart for you and her to sleep in together.

Kaiba: Doesn't sound half bad…

Psycho: ONTO THE NEXT!!!! Mai… *cringes* get out here, ugly.

Mai: *struts in* What did you just call me?

Psycho: Ugly. Now sitt'own and shut up. You have a present from… Maria45. She offers you an… *snickers evilly* atomic bomb. *lying* You simply hold it in your hand and it will explode wherever you want it to, except for on you… why don't you try it out and see how it goes?

Mai: Kewl! I might go and bomb Joey's house!!

Joey: NOOO!!!!

Psycho: *hands Mai the bomb*

Mai: *walks outside and `commands' the bomb to explode on Joey's house*

Bomb: *makes a mushroom cloud*

Mai: *pieces of her go flying everywhere….*

Psycho & Maria45: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ryou: Hmm, *sarcastically* too bad. Should we get on with the fic now?

Pegasus: Doesn't sound like a half bad idea to me!! ^_o

Psycho: You aren't hosting my fic today, Peggy-boy.

Peggy: BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT!!!!!!!!!!

Psycho: I said NO!!! I have chosen a different host for today. And that is… SOUP!!!

Malik: *gives brain-dead, sarcastic look* Soup?

Psycho: ^________________________^ I decided that my bowl of soup sitting next to me can host my fic for today.

Everyone: O_o o_O

*tumble weed rolls across the ground with a whistling wind*

Ryou: … what kind of… soup…is it??

Psycho: I'll have you know that my soup has a gender. HE's spicy tomato and HE is a boy.

Peggy: *is all pissed off that a bowl of soup has taken his place as host* And HIS name is…?

Psycho: Caribbean Tomato!! Well… that's what it said on the can… ^_^

Everyone: *anime fall*

Psycho: So, Caribbean Tomato, would you like to do the honours?

Soup: ………………

Bakura: A little quiet, isn't he?

Psycho: He's just a little nervous, that's all. He's shy meeting new people…

Everyone: -_-;;;;;;;

Soup: On with the fic! Did I say that right?

Psycho: TOLD YA!!!!!!!!

Everyone: O_o o_O

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*ten minutes prior to the annual feast, Malik and Marik are discussing something in the dining hall*

Malik: I will not tolerate being a crazy palace gardener, Marik! I want rid of those heinous royal idiots so I can take their place on the throne!!!

Marik: Stop being so atrocious, hikari. You're always so greedy. We don't even know why we're here.

Malik: You idiot, Marik! Don't you see?! This is the one and only opportunity that I will ever get a chance at being the king that I deserve!

Marik: *thinking* Like YOU deserve to be king… *out loud* Well, what's in it for me then?!

Malik: Uh… I'll give you a fangirl!!!

Marik: I already have one thank you very much!!! *folds arms haughtily*

Malik: You do?

Marik: Yes, I do.

Malik: Never noticed.

Marik: Stop babbling. I'll kill King Duke and Queen Mai for you under one condition:

Malik: And that is…?

Marik: You give me your entire Britney Spears CD collection and ALL your party dresses. My closet is screaming for a makeover.

Malik: No way!!!!!!

Marik: Fine I guess you'll never be royal then.

Malik: *grumbles* FINE take them… *sniffles* I'D BE ABLE TO BUY TEN THOUSAND TIMES MORE OF THEM ANYWAY ONCE I'M RICH AND ROYAL AND FAMOUS!!!!!

Mary Ann & Miko-chan: *are eavesdropping around the corner*

Miko-chan: OMG… Malik has Britney Spears CDs and party dresses?!

Mary Ann: What's worse… is that Marik WANTS them!!!

Duke: *walks in* What are you doing, gardener? You haven't finished arranging the flowers and there's only ten minutes until dinner is served!!

Malik: ­Shut it, hair-boy. I'm trying to work here.

Duke: Then who were you talking to before?

Malik: I wasn't talking to anyone! Why?

Duke: *looks at Marik who had randomly disappeared* Hmm… I swore I saw Marik standing here when I came in…

Malik: You're losing it then.

Duke: How dare you offend the King?!

Malik: Look you want these flowers or not? You're wasting my `valuable' time here.

Duke: *mutters* Fine then. You get let off the hook THIS time. *eyes Malik suspiciously and leaves*
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Yami & Seto: *are walking down the staircase with L_W and Kitsune on their arms*

L_W: Oooh!! This place is soooo pretty!!! *looks out the window to see a flock of glittering fairies fluttering about outside the Diamond Palace*

Yami: Not as beautiful as you, my Queen.

L_W: *sighs dreamily and kisses Yami*

Kitsune: Well, considering I've lived here my whole life it's kind of a drag after a while.

Seto: I feel exactly the same way about all my mansions! *sighs* We have SO much in common…

Kitsune: *smiles haughtily* Yes and my new BLACK dress looks awesome… don't you agree?

Kaiba: Anything looks good on you, princess.

Kitsune: ^_^
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Bakura: O_O *jaw drops to the ground* YOU LOOK GREAT!!!!!!!!!!

Psycho: ^_^ I know! *twirls around*

F_D_C: So does me!!!

Ryou: Yes, you do too my fair lady.

F_D_C & Psycho: *reunite with their bishies giggling and kissing and jumping up and down with each other*

Ryou: *stomach growls*

Bakura: Well, let's go and see what this annual banquet has in store for us! *marches out into the hall with Psycho*

Ryou & F_D_C: *follows*
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At the Banquet Hall…

Duke & Mai: *are sitting in their royal dining chairs*

Emily: *runs out of the kitchen giggling and pulling her dress back down*

Everyone: O_o o_O what has SHE been doing?!

Yami: I don't know but whatever she WAS doing, Joey had better have our dinner ready.

Joey: *comes out of the kitchen with his pants half done up and his hair all ruffled, holding big trays of food*

Queen Mai: What just happened to YOU Joey?

Joey: Err... heheh… n_n nevermind!!! *glances sideways at Emily*

Marik: Let's eat I'm starved!!!!

Bakura: Nice job on the flowers, Malik. *snickers*

Malik: Shut it, mental muffin plum.

Everyone: O.o o.O

Psycho: Mental muffin plum?

Malik: Don't give me that look! This is a random fic and I can be random whenever I want!!!

F_D_C: I guess he's right…

Duke: TUCK IN EVERYBODY!!! DINNER IS SERVED!!!!!! *starts making a pig of himself*

Kitsune: That's disturbing

Lady_Washu: I agree

Psycho: Hmm I wonder if this food is magical…

Miko-chan: *pokes ham steak with a fork*

Ham steak: Ouch!!

Miko-chan: ………

Seto: I think I might pass…

Psycho: *is served a bowl of soup by the waiter* Mmm tasty…

Soup: Psycho… don't eat me… I'm your host… Caribbean Tomato! Don't you remember me?!

Psycho: *gasps* What are you doing as my entrée?!

Soup: Err I don't know! Somebody took over my position as the host!!!

Psycho: *looks around suspiciously* Hmmm…. Speaking of which, has anybody seen PEGASUS lately?!! He's been rather… quiet… this entire chapter!

*laughing is heard from above*

Emily: Pegasus!! How on earth did you manage to take over as host?!

Pegasus: Easy. A bowl of soup doesn't have any arms or legs or eyes.

Emily: Then how can it talk if it has no mouth?
Psycho: Because it wants to!!!

Lady_Washu: Err you guys… I think you might wanna look at this…

Everyone: *looks out the window to see a whole lot of crazy scary mental looking creatures coming toward the Diamond Palace*

Duke: Nooooooooooo!!! The Night Demons have come to attack!!!!!!!!

Mai: Ryou! Yami! Marik! Arm yourselves now! We're under attack! Everyone else, take cover!!! *dives under the table*

Ryou, Yami & Marik: Errr?? Now what?

Mary Ann: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psycho: Everyone! To your battle stations!!

Miko-chan: WHAT battle stations?

Psycho: e_e uh…… YOUR BEDROOMS!!!! Take your bishies and fangirls with you and TAKE COVER!!!!

Mai: Oh no you don't! Marik, Yami and Ryou are going out to fight!!!!!

Mary Ann, F_D_C & Lady_Washu: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

L_W: I am not going to lose my prized Yami to a stupid ugly demon thingy!!!!

F_D_C: We have to think of a plan girls!!!!

Psycho: I'll help!!!!

Mary Ann: Okay, so this is what we're gonna do…

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Author's Note: HEHEHEEEE!!! Woweee!!! Suspense-ended chappie huh? I hope you liked it!!! What will Mary Ann's plan be to help the bishies not get killed in battle and what evil plot will Marik come up with to kill King Duke and Queen Mai?! This fic is OPEN FOR ALL IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bearing in mind, you can still send in your gifts and presents for any YGO character that you like!!!!

Next chapter: Mary Ann and the rest of the fangirls come up with a plan using magical powers to drive the Night Demons away without having to fight. But how does this magical spell involve Malik and his gardening?! ANY IDEAS ARE WELCOME!!!! ^_^ *hugs all reviewers*