Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Whose Line Is It Anyway? the yamis style ❯ Shitty Commercials/Scenes From The Hat ( Chapter 2 )

Shitty Commercials/Scenes From The Hat

 

 

“Welcome to the show tonight! Our two contestants, Seto and Joey, will race to find one hotel in Egypt that has a pool and a two bedroom suite! BEGIN!!” the announcer dude announces. His tag reads Malik if you turn your head upside down. Seto is yelling into his phone at his company while Joey is logging on to Sandz.com.

“RA-DAMMIT, I SAID NO MAYO!!!” Seto screeches.

“DONE!!” Joey exclaims as he jumps up and down like an idiot.

“Our winner…SETO KAIBA!!” Malik announces.

“WHAT?!” Joey shouts.

“Hey, I'll get fired if you win!”

“DAMN RIGHT!!” Seto yells.

 

“Welcome back to the show! I'm your host, Kari and no that is not a pole up my ass, that is my tail.” Kari welcomes and the crowd cheers. The yamis sit “patiently”. “Now we are going to play……SCENES FROM DE HAT!!”

Kari pulls out a cowboy hat full of papers.

“We asked everyone in the audience except Tea to put a scene in here before the show began. So, IN YER PLACES!!” she announces uncharacteristically happy. Kira and Bakura stand side by side on the right while Marik and Yami stand on the left.

Kari picks a paper.

“How Bakura and Marik will kill the pharaoh.” she says and laughs at the said yami's faces. Bakura steps out with a blood-thirsty grin and motions Yami to come.

“DIIIIIIEEE!!!” Bakura screeches and brings down a random knife down to Yami's head mockingly.

“AIIIEE!!!!” Yami screams and runs away to….somewhere….

“You chased off the Pharaoh! Now I don't get to have fun with him!” Marik pouts. Bakura just grins and “skips” back to his spot. Yami returns just in time for Marik's turn, unfortunately for him.

“Pharaoh…” he trails off. Yami glares. “Hmph. Fine.”

Marik beckons Bakura and both start whispering in Egyptian.

“We have come to a conclusion!!” Marik announces.

“We shall…” Bakura says and grins like a maniac as he puts his hand behind his back. Yami starts to sweat.

“DIIIIIEEE!!” Marik and Bakura yell and tackle Yami to the ground, Bakura fake-stabbing him.

Buzz Buzz

“Ha ha! Poor Yami!” Kari mocks. Yami just pouts while Marik and Bakura smirk. “Next! Uh….what Ryou and Kari do at…..night…” Kari says less enthusiastically and blushes a deep crimson.

Bakura grins again and pulls Kira by the wrist to the stage.

“I'm gonna hate this…” Kari mutters and looks at Ryou apologetically in the audience.

Bakura smashes his lips on Kira's and the crowd whistles and shouts. Eventually, both are making out like lovers. Kari, blushing madly, buzzes them. But…they don't really stop….it's actually getting more deep….

“BAKURA!! QUIT SUCKING THE PHARAOH'S--” is all Marik has to yell before Bakura's back to his spot, crimson in the face. Kira trudges back and sulks while crossing her arms. Kari looks at Marik with a raised eyebrow.

Then Marik hops right up to the middle.

“Ryou, I love you sooooooo much that I'd make `Kura spill out his guts to his bud Marik just because I love you sooooooo much!!” he admits in a higher pitched voice. Kari buzzes him. Marik smirks proudly at her and jumps back to his spot.

Then Bakura and Kira come back up…and the crowd goes wild.

“Kari….this is best for both of us!” Bakura fakes a British accent.

“But…Ryou, it doesn't hafta be this way!” Kira says dramatically.

“No, if this happens again….I…I don't know what I'll do.”

“Ryou….”

BUZZ!!!

“That will be enough of that. Oh, and Marik, what were about to say when bakura started making out with Kira?” Kari inquires. Marik looks at her through the corner of his eye. Then he smirks.

“The Pharaoh's d-” he begins but fake coughs for an effect, “deranged ex.” The whole crowd (and the yamis) all exhale a breath.

“I'm not his ex!” Kira argues. Marik just shrugs and punches Yami's upper arm for no reason.

“ANYWAY!! Next scene. Hmm….Why Mariks' grin goes all the way across his fucking face.” Kari grins at Marik, who threatens to yank her whiskers.

Bakura steps up.

“Look at my fucking pearly whites! They're the only kind of riches that I've ever been able to get!” he says and pulls both side of his mouth to show his fangs. Marik glares as Bakura walks back. Then Kira comes.

“Hey, can you see any cocaine? I think some got stuck in my teeth.” she explains. The audience laughs. Then it's Yami's turn.

“Botox.” he says simply and the crowd laughs again. Next is Marik himself.

“This is what I get from riding too many roller coasters.” he says as he grins ear to ear…literally.

Buzz Buzz.

“I like Bakura and Kira's better. Second Yami's, and then last poor Mariku.” Kari “pities.” Marik glares at all the yamis. “Next! Uh…oh, dear. Umm….What if all the yamis were….gay?” she squeaks. Kira's the only one who finds this amusing.

Yami steps up first this time.

“Then I would gratefully allow the thieves to kill me.” he says and steps away. Bakura and Marik smirk and both go on.

“Hey, koi, let's go kill the Pharaoh.” Marik says “lovingly”.

“Hmm, yes, we shall do it when he and his brat are mating!” Bakura says.

“Which “it”, koi?”

“Hey, my hips still hurt from last time, baka.”

BUZZ!! BUZZ!!

“My poor ears.” Kari puts and flattens them down. Yami looks ready to pounce the thieves. Then Kira strides out.

“Well, technically, a gay is one who like guys, sooo….yeah, I'm already gay.” she says and shrugs. As she walks back she winks at Bakura.

Kari buzzes the end of the game.

“That was the end of that round so now here are the fucking commercials!” she says and throws the hat to Ryou, who catches it and puts it on his head.