Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yugioh, Behind the Scenes! ❯ American Idol parody! The Horror! ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Malik the Psycho 
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.22.2005 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 371 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.22.2005 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 371 | Status: Work In Progress
*Camera zooms in on Malik* Hey everyone...I'm without a co-host..Sooo, we're going to do a thing like american idol and whoever wins gets to be my next co-host! For the judges we have myself*Grins* Yami
Yami: *flexes his muscles and slaps his ass and makes himself to be a big deal as he prances down the isle to the chair blowing everyone kisses*
Malik: *Sweatdrops and smacks Yami's ass, just like yugi does when he's bad.* And Seto..Who might be here for the last time.
<Seto is escorted down the isle in a straight jacket with Jou standing close to him on one side and two men dressed in white holding big needles in case he acts up. Jou carefully sets Seto down in his seat which has two buttons infront of it so he could press them if he likes the person or not>
Malik: ...Like I said...Might be the last time we see him.(Crowd: aww...) I know, I know..First up, we have...Pegasus? *Blinks*
Seto: *Smacks his forehead down on the NO button before pegasus even gets out*
Malik: *Blinks* Oh come on Seto...We have to at least give him a chance. >>;
Seto: *Leans on the button.*
Pegasus: *walks in, wearing his usual suit and grins* Hello everyone! OH! KAIBA-BOY!!!*Waves*
Seto: *Starts banging head against the NO button repeatedly*
Malik: *Ignores him for now* Okay Pegasus....Tell us, WHY do you want to be my co-host?
Seto: GHOST!! HES A GHOST!!!*panics*
Pegasus: *giggles* Silly Kaiba boy...I want to be your co-host because of all the cute boys!
Seto: *leaps up from the desk and is pulled down by jou* AND YOU FUCKING CALL ME A WHORE YOU GOD DAMN SLUT!! (based on a true incident)
Pegasus: I did no such thing! That was Mai.
Seto: RIGHT AND IT WAS MAI THAT SPREADS HUMORS ABOUT IT!??!! I LL FUCKING KILL YOU! ILL KILL YOU A- *has been given a sedative and goes lax a happy smile on his face*
Malik: ..*coughs* Anyways. What do you think, Yami?*Looks to him*
Yami: * poses by leaning back against the chair his feet propped up on the desk trying to look all sexily*
Well.....you tried to kill my grandfather....so ill give you a yes
Malik: Alright..Pegasus, you made it to the next round.*Pegasus Squeals and runs off stage* Next up, we have...None other than Mai herself.
<Mai walks onstage and blows a kiss at Jou>
Seto: *slams on NO stays there thanks to the sedative*
Malik: *Has decided to ignore Seto for people he doesnt like* So why do you want to be my co-host?
Mai: *Smirks* For the sex. Everyone knows that 7 out of 10 times co-hosts are having sex with the main host all the time. I want to get into your pants, Ishtar.
Malik: ....o__O;; Kay....Yami..?
Yami: *eyes Mai up and down* im gonna hafta say no considerin we dunt want ur kind makin anyone else nuts like Seto.Seto: *Drools puddle forms around his face*
Malik: >_> Yeah...Get your ass off my stage, Mai.
Mai: *Gasps* How RUDE!*stomps off*
Yami: *Watches her go* meh she probably would try to rape my yugi that two cent whore.
Malik:*Nods..* Actually, she has tried to a few times. I saw her. Anyways, next up we have...Bakura? *Blinks a few times*
Yami: *Looks at Malik* Which one Ryou or Yami Bakura?
Malik: Yami Bakura.
Yami: *glances up* BRING IN BAKURA!
Malik: *Plays with a pencil while looking around nervously for his Yami*
<Ryou comes out deck in full s&m gear leather wearing highheel black leather boots,chaps,black gloves and a black hat on his head. In one hand is a whip and in the other is a chain which bakura comes out on all fours walking behind Ryou, the chain is attached to his collar>
Malik: *Blinks rapidly* Uhm..
Ryou: looks down at Bakura and cracks his whip, Bakura flinches* SPEAK YOU IDIOT! *Bakura looks over at the judges*
Malik: ..Right..Uh...Bakura? Why do you want to be my co-host..?
Bakura:*Shakey like Chiuahaha* Well...*looks to Ryou cautiously* I...like...meeting you new people and I think it would be...*Sees Ryou giving him a glare* FUN YES FUN! I would enjoy it very much....*looks over at the judges with a silent 'please help me'*
Malik:*Nods slightly..* Alright..Yami? Seto? What do you think?
Seto: *rolls his head onto another button for yes*
Malik: A yes from Seto...and Yami?
Yami:* is still blinking over at Ryou* I say....yes?
Malik: alright, Bakura, you've made it to the next round..And since Ryou is next on the list...Same question, Ryou.
Ryou: *looks down at bakura who is hiding or trying to "I want to peak into all you hto sexy boys drawers and keep a eye on this bitch here otherwise he could get into trouble."
Malik: *Arches an eyebrow.* Right...Fellow Judges?*looks to Seto and Yami*
Seto: * rolls over for a No*
Malik: Yami?
Yami: *Eyeing Ryou up and down many many thoughts going through his head* Well...id have to say yes, what do you think Malik? Oh and Ryou where did yo uget that leather I NEED to restock!
Malik: Alright..Two yes's to a no. Ryou, you pass too.
Ryou: *cracks his whip "ha-cha!" Ryou struts off stage draggin kura behind him.
Yami: *stops and looks over at Malik "You say yes a lot."*
Malik: *Shrugs* Anyway, next is....Yugi?! Shit!*hides under the table*
Yami:*Perks up and watches Yugi walk in shaking his ass like hes all that, glaring at Maliks seat* YES!
Malik: *Peeks over the table* er...We have to know why he wants to be my co-host first, Yami..*Coughs*so...WHY?!
Yugi: *glares at Malik* Because Iwant to. Ask again I will rip your tongue out.
Yami: YES AGAIN!
Yugi: looks over at Yami and smiles pleased then looks to Malik with a glare*
Malik: *Glares back and pets the Sennen Rod while sitting back up in his seat* Alright...Seto?
Seto: shoots his head up eyes wide* I DIDNT DO IT I WAS FRAMED!! *Gets up and runs off into the back with Jou and the doctors following him*
Malik: *Blinks..*
Seto: * runs across the stage in his jacket* MY NAME IS JACOB JINGLE HEIMER SMITH!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!! *runs across the camera Jou and the doctors who are holding guns run after him*
Malik: ....Anyways.*Yells after him* SETO! WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER?!
Seto: *Continues running and slams into a wall and falls over knocking himself out*
Malik: ....
Yami: *looks over at Malik "commercial?"*
Malik: *nods. "Commercial."
<Commercial comes up and you can see Setos body being dragged away in the back and out of sight>
Malik: *Is heard whispering to Yami* What should we do for the other judge?
Yami: *Looks over at him and shrugs..* Wait i got it! *runs off and comes back with a drinking duck that bobs its head up and down*
Malik: *Blink...*....
Yami: Itll be perfect.
Malik: ...Fine, fine. >>;
Yami:*Sets the drinking bird in front of the yes button so it hits yes. Camera guy motions that the commercial is almost over*
Malik: *Coughs and eyes the bird as the commercials end* Alright, we're back and we seem to have a new judge...
Yami: *Grins proving his superiority once more* THE DRINKIE BIRD! Who will be filling in until Seto is coherent enough. Anyway back to the show! Here we have Yugi with a one yes answer can he make it through this judge things so and is willing to let his ass be spanked for it.
Malik: *Watches as the bird bobs its head and presses yes*
Yami: Allright a yes for Yugi! *turns to malik* Well?
Malik: >>; No
<EVERYONE gasps and goes silent...crickets are heard>
Malik:...But it doesnt matter since I'm outvoted. >_>;
Yami: THATS RIGHT SO YUGI YOU MOVE TO ROUND TWO!!!*applauds and such*
Malik: *Sweatdrops* Right...Next up we have..Bandit Keith? *Blinks and looks at Yami*Who's he?
Yami:*Looks at Malik like hes a idiot then goes 'ohhhh!' you never met him he was on duelist island he kidnapped Jou and raped him.
Bandit Keith: *Comes out and flexes for the ladies* That was in self defense.
Malik: ...You raped him in self-defense? *Blinks innocently XD*
Bandit Keith: *glares at him* HELL YEAH I DID HE WAS TRYING TO RAPE ME!
Malik:....Uhm...So you raped him back?
Keith: *more flexing* Yeah i did what would you have done when you have this hot blonde trying to get some off you?
Malik: ....Right...anyways, Why do you want to be my co-host?
Keith: Well with a mug this hot i should share it with the world it would be selfish to keep it to myslef
Malik: ..*Coughs*..Right...Yami? Drinkie Bird?
<Drinkie Bird hits yes>
Malik: One yes.
Yami: *eye twitches* No.We have enough blondes here.
Malik: Two nos. Goodbye, Keith.
Keith: * looks appauled and breaks something to show his manliness before walking off*
Malik: Next we have Dartz..Who the fuck is Dartz?!
Yami: *squints at paper* I thought he was dead...oh well...Dartz is some loon from some other time who
wants to kill us all but he has gorgeous eyes *swoons*
Dartz: *walks in with his sexy eyes* Hello, Pharoah.*Smirks*
Malik: I see..*Cough*
Yami: *smirks and waves before getting glared at by Yugi and straightens up fast*
Malik: *Snickers softly..* So, Dartz, Why do you want to become my co-host?
Dartz: Well, One thing is I need to be on tv so that I can slowly take over the world..The other is all of the sexy boys that you interview, and yourself of course....Which reminds me. Yami? It disgusts me how scared you are of Yugi.
Yami: *Stand up* I AM NOT AFRAID OF YUGI!
Yugi: *comes out* YES YOU ARE!
Yami: *cringes* Yes sir.
Dartz: *Smirks*
Malik: ...Mhm..anyways...One yes from me. Yami? Drinkie Bird?
<drinkie bird hits yes>
Malik: Good Drinkie Bird. Yami?
Yami: NO!
Malik: Well, the yes's outnumber the no, so, Dartz, you pass.
Dartz: Good..*Walks off*
Malik: Next we have..Yami Malik..Eh?*looks up from the paper*
Yami Malik: *Walks out and stands there with his arms crossed, eyeing the people behind his Hikari*
Malik:...*Coughs* Alright..Uhm..Yami of mine whom I love so very much and dont want to kill anyone and everyone who looks at me, Why do you want to be my co-host?
Yami Malik: *now glaring at Yami because he's sitting close to his Hikari* Because I want to make sure that none of those idiots try and get in your pants..
Yami: *Goes shifty eyed* beleive me I dont want him, blame the drinkie bird hes been looking your hikari up and down points to the bobbing bird*
Yami Malik: *Glares at them both*
Malik: Well...Since I love him, I vote yes! *Looks at Yami and Drinkie bird*
<Drinkie bird votes yes>
Yami: uhh....yes?
Malik: Three Yes's. Muffin, you pass.*Grins as Yami Malik blushes lightly and glares at him*
Yami: *Coughs and stacks up the papers* So ends Round one and we move to round too where 3 people
will be chosen.Malik tell me whose in the next round?
Malik: Let's see..Pegasus,Bakura, Ryou,Yugi,Dartz, and Yami Malik.
Yami: Only 3 people will remain in this round and round three we will determine our winner.
Now we will not vote yes or no now we give everyone points person with the highest points wins.
Yami: *flexes his muscles and slaps his ass and makes himself to be a big deal as he prances down the isle to the chair blowing everyone kisses*
Malik: *Sweatdrops and smacks Yami's ass, just like yugi does when he's bad.* And Seto..Who might be here for the last time.
<Seto is escorted down the isle in a straight jacket with Jou standing close to him on one side and two men dressed in white holding big needles in case he acts up. Jou carefully sets Seto down in his seat which has two buttons infront of it so he could press them if he likes the person or not>
Malik: ...Like I said...Might be the last time we see him.(Crowd: aww...) I know, I know..First up, we have...Pegasus? *Blinks*
Seto: *Smacks his forehead down on the NO button before pegasus even gets out*
Malik: *Blinks* Oh come on Seto...We have to at least give him a chance. >>;
Seto: *Leans on the button.*
Pegasus: *walks in, wearing his usual suit and grins* Hello everyone! OH! KAIBA-BOY!!!*Waves*
Seto: *Starts banging head against the NO button repeatedly*
Malik: *Ignores him for now* Okay Pegasus....Tell us, WHY do you want to be my co-host?
Seto: GHOST!! HES A GHOST!!!*panics*
Pegasus: *giggles* Silly Kaiba boy...I want to be your co-host because of all the cute boys!
Seto: *leaps up from the desk and is pulled down by jou* AND YOU FUCKING CALL ME A WHORE YOU GOD DAMN SLUT!! (based on a true incident)
Pegasus: I did no such thing! That was Mai.
Seto: RIGHT AND IT WAS MAI THAT SPREADS HUMORS ABOUT IT!??!! I LL FUCKING KILL YOU! ILL KILL YOU A- *has been given a sedative and goes lax a happy smile on his face*
Malik: ..*coughs* Anyways. What do you think, Yami?*Looks to him*
Yami: * poses by leaning back against the chair his feet propped up on the desk trying to look all sexily*
Well.....you tried to kill my grandfather....so ill give you a yes
Malik: Alright..Pegasus, you made it to the next round.*Pegasus Squeals and runs off stage* Next up, we have...None other than Mai herself.
<Mai walks onstage and blows a kiss at Jou>
Seto: *slams on NO stays there thanks to the sedative*
Malik: *Has decided to ignore Seto for people he doesnt like* So why do you want to be my co-host?
Mai: *Smirks* For the sex. Everyone knows that 7 out of 10 times co-hosts are having sex with the main host all the time. I want to get into your pants, Ishtar.
Malik: ....o__O;; Kay....Yami..?
Yami: *eyes Mai up and down* im gonna hafta say no considerin we dunt want ur kind makin anyone else nuts like Seto.Seto: *Drools puddle forms around his face*
Malik: >_> Yeah...Get your ass off my stage, Mai.
Mai: *Gasps* How RUDE!*stomps off*
Yami: *Watches her go* meh she probably would try to rape my yugi that two cent whore.
Malik:*Nods..* Actually, she has tried to a few times. I saw her. Anyways, next up we have...Bakura? *Blinks a few times*
Yami: *Looks at Malik* Which one Ryou or Yami Bakura?
Malik: Yami Bakura.
Yami: *glances up* BRING IN BAKURA!
Malik: *Plays with a pencil while looking around nervously for his Yami*
<Ryou comes out deck in full s&m gear leather wearing highheel black leather boots,chaps,black gloves and a black hat on his head. In one hand is a whip and in the other is a chain which bakura comes out on all fours walking behind Ryou, the chain is attached to his collar>
Malik: *Blinks rapidly* Uhm..
Ryou: looks down at Bakura and cracks his whip, Bakura flinches* SPEAK YOU IDIOT! *Bakura looks over at the judges*
Malik: ..Right..Uh...Bakura? Why do you want to be my co-host..?
Bakura:*Shakey like Chiuahaha* Well...*looks to Ryou cautiously* I...like...meeting you new people and I think it would be...*Sees Ryou giving him a glare* FUN YES FUN! I would enjoy it very much....*looks over at the judges with a silent 'please help me'*
Malik:*Nods slightly..* Alright..Yami? Seto? What do you think?
Seto: *rolls his head onto another button for yes*
Malik: A yes from Seto...and Yami?
Yami:* is still blinking over at Ryou* I say....yes?
Malik: alright, Bakura, you've made it to the next round..And since Ryou is next on the list...Same question, Ryou.
Ryou: *looks down at bakura who is hiding or trying to "I want to peak into all you hto sexy boys drawers and keep a eye on this bitch here otherwise he could get into trouble."
Malik: *Arches an eyebrow.* Right...Fellow Judges?*looks to Seto and Yami*
Seto: * rolls over for a No*
Malik: Yami?
Yami: *Eyeing Ryou up and down many many thoughts going through his head* Well...id have to say yes, what do you think Malik? Oh and Ryou where did yo uget that leather I NEED to restock!
Malik: Alright..Two yes's to a no. Ryou, you pass too.
Ryou: *cracks his whip "ha-cha!" Ryou struts off stage draggin kura behind him.
Yami: *stops and looks over at Malik "You say yes a lot."*
Malik: *Shrugs* Anyway, next is....Yugi?! Shit!*hides under the table*
Yami:*Perks up and watches Yugi walk in shaking his ass like hes all that, glaring at Maliks seat* YES!
Malik: *Peeks over the table* er...We have to know why he wants to be my co-host first, Yami..*Coughs*so...WHY?!
Yugi: *glares at Malik* Because Iwant to. Ask again I will rip your tongue out.
Yami: YES AGAIN!
Yugi: looks over at Yami and smiles pleased then looks to Malik with a glare*
Malik: *Glares back and pets the Sennen Rod while sitting back up in his seat* Alright...Seto?
Seto: shoots his head up eyes wide* I DIDNT DO IT I WAS FRAMED!! *Gets up and runs off into the back with Jou and the doctors following him*
Malik: *Blinks..*
Seto: * runs across the stage in his jacket* MY NAME IS JACOB JINGLE HEIMER SMITH!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!! *runs across the camera Jou and the doctors who are holding guns run after him*
Malik: ....Anyways.*Yells after him* SETO! WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER?!
Seto: *Continues running and slams into a wall and falls over knocking himself out*
Malik: ....
Yami: *looks over at Malik "commercial?"*
Malik: *nods. "Commercial."
<Commercial comes up and you can see Setos body being dragged away in the back and out of sight>
Malik: *Is heard whispering to Yami* What should we do for the other judge?
Yami: *Looks over at him and shrugs..* Wait i got it! *runs off and comes back with a drinking duck that bobs its head up and down*
Malik: *Blink...*....
Yami: Itll be perfect.
Malik: ...Fine, fine. >>;
Yami:*Sets the drinking bird in front of the yes button so it hits yes. Camera guy motions that the commercial is almost over*
Malik: *Coughs and eyes the bird as the commercials end* Alright, we're back and we seem to have a new judge...
Yami: *Grins proving his superiority once more* THE DRINKIE BIRD! Who will be filling in until Seto is coherent enough. Anyway back to the show! Here we have Yugi with a one yes answer can he make it through this judge things so and is willing to let his ass be spanked for it.
Malik: *Watches as the bird bobs its head and presses yes*
Yami: Allright a yes for Yugi! *turns to malik* Well?
Malik: >>; No
<EVERYONE gasps and goes silent...crickets are heard>
Malik:...But it doesnt matter since I'm outvoted. >_>;
Yami: THATS RIGHT SO YUGI YOU MOVE TO ROUND TWO!!!*applauds and such*
Malik: *Sweatdrops* Right...Next up we have..Bandit Keith? *Blinks and looks at Yami*Who's he?
Yami:*Looks at Malik like hes a idiot then goes 'ohhhh!' you never met him he was on duelist island he kidnapped Jou and raped him.
Bandit Keith: *Comes out and flexes for the ladies* That was in self defense.
Malik: ...You raped him in self-defense? *Blinks innocently XD*
Bandit Keith: *glares at him* HELL YEAH I DID HE WAS TRYING TO RAPE ME!
Malik:....Uhm...So you raped him back?
Keith: *more flexing* Yeah i did what would you have done when you have this hot blonde trying to get some off you?
Malik: ....Right...anyways, Why do you want to be my co-host?
Keith: Well with a mug this hot i should share it with the world it would be selfish to keep it to myslef
Malik: ..*Coughs*..Right...Yami? Drinkie Bird?
<Drinkie Bird hits yes>
Malik: One yes.
Yami: *eye twitches* No.We have enough blondes here.
Malik: Two nos. Goodbye, Keith.
Keith: * looks appauled and breaks something to show his manliness before walking off*
Malik: Next we have Dartz..Who the fuck is Dartz?!
Yami: *squints at paper* I thought he was dead...oh well...Dartz is some loon from some other time who
wants to kill us all but he has gorgeous eyes *swoons*
Dartz: *walks in with his sexy eyes* Hello, Pharoah.*Smirks*
Malik: I see..*Cough*
Yami: *smirks and waves before getting glared at by Yugi and straightens up fast*
Malik: *Snickers softly..* So, Dartz, Why do you want to become my co-host?
Dartz: Well, One thing is I need to be on tv so that I can slowly take over the world..The other is all of the sexy boys that you interview, and yourself of course....Which reminds me. Yami? It disgusts me how scared you are of Yugi.
Yami: *Stand up* I AM NOT AFRAID OF YUGI!
Yugi: *comes out* YES YOU ARE!
Yami: *cringes* Yes sir.
Dartz: *Smirks*
Malik: ...Mhm..anyways...One yes from me. Yami? Drinkie Bird?
<drinkie bird hits yes>
Malik: Good Drinkie Bird. Yami?
Yami: NO!
Malik: Well, the yes's outnumber the no, so, Dartz, you pass.
Dartz: Good..*Walks off*
Malik: Next we have..Yami Malik..Eh?*looks up from the paper*
Yami Malik: *Walks out and stands there with his arms crossed, eyeing the people behind his Hikari*
Malik:...*Coughs* Alright..Uhm..Yami of mine whom I love so very much and dont want to kill anyone and everyone who looks at me, Why do you want to be my co-host?
Yami Malik: *now glaring at Yami because he's sitting close to his Hikari* Because I want to make sure that none of those idiots try and get in your pants..
Yami: *Goes shifty eyed* beleive me I dont want him, blame the drinkie bird hes been looking your hikari up and down points to the bobbing bird*
Yami Malik: *Glares at them both*
Malik: Well...Since I love him, I vote yes! *Looks at Yami and Drinkie bird*
<Drinkie bird votes yes>
Yami: uhh....yes?
Malik: Three Yes's. Muffin, you pass.*Grins as Yami Malik blushes lightly and glares at him*
Yami: *Coughs and stacks up the papers* So ends Round one and we move to round too where 3 people
will be chosen.Malik tell me whose in the next round?
Malik: Let's see..Pegasus,Bakura, Ryou,Yugi,Dartz, and Yami Malik.
Yami: Only 3 people will remain in this round and round three we will determine our winner.
Now we will not vote yes or no now we give everyone points person with the highest points wins.