Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Betrayed by a Memory ❯ FALLING FROM GRACE ( Chapter 2 )

.:Betrayed by a Memory:.

Written by FoxyNewt, email address is , sorry on I messed up on that! Sorry `bout that!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, haven't we already been over this???

WARNING: DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE A CHARACTER DEAD! Someone dies in this chapter, and it's very graphic...not gory mind you, but very emotional. Be warned, this is a tear jerker!

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Chapter two: Falling from grace

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Something inside of me burst...that was all I could think of how to describe it. Like a bubble bursting at the seams. The pain was intense, like nothing I had ever felt before. One second I was blissfully floating in the darkness, the darkness that ate away all of my fears and pains. And the next, something ripped me out of that peaceful darkness.

I didn't know what had awoken me from my indulgent slumber; it could have been a number of things. Maybe it was the hysterical cries that threatened to tear my skull apart piece by bloody piece. Or perhaps it was the pain itself that was rapidly raging throughout my body, leaving behind it ablaze of agony.

Something was wrong with me, this I knew without a doubt. I could realize that even in the flares of my searing pain that had engulfed me whole. Never in all of my life, had I felt such pain before. It was mind boggling! Or maybe mind numbing, for my mind was in a haze of pain that was slowly shutting down my mind and rendering it useless.

That was when I made my first mistake: I tried to open my eyes. Where it was pitch black only a few moments ago, a blindingly bright light was all I could see the next. I had to close my eyes again to try to relive them from the pain. But even with them closed, I was still blinded by the searing light.

What was wrong with me? My mind was too numb to understand what was happening around me. Or what the cause of my pain was. I tried to keep a straight head, but the pain was just too much. With the pain in my head, the pain scorching my body, and the pain of the bright lights, it all left me feeling disoriented.

Was that someone talking to me? I couldn't tell. I think it might have been someone talking to me, but with all of the screaming and crying already in my mind, it was just another voice to ignore. The voices were lost in the cries and screams that tried to tear; piece by agonizing piece, apart my mind.

And that was when the pain began to grow, to increase its already agonizing torture. What was left of my mind, was now completely devoured by the pain. It was too much! Pain in every single molecule of my body. I couldn't think anymore, my mind was lost in the haze of agony.

Somehow, I knew that the end was near. Some deep, dark part of me knew that I would not survive this pain. I knew that it was killing, slowly...but painfully for sure.

I don't know what it was, but something compelled me to open my eyes, one last time. And when I did, the light wasn't as bright as it one was, nor was it as painful. Or at least compared to the pain I was already experiencing.

When I open my eyes, the sight that greeted me both sickened me as well as horrified me. Leaning heavily on my own convulsing body, was a tear stricken old woman. At first I didn't recognize her, for I didn't know any senior citizens that looked like her.

Her hair was a mess. It looked to have been in a bun once, but now it was falling out with pieces of stray hair framing her face. Her eyes were to wet to tell the color, but I think they were a shade of blue. Her face looked very tired, almost worn. As were her eyes.

But it was her clothes that held my attention, or what little attention I could muster seeing as the pain didn't exactly leave me with a clear head. They looked normal, or would have had it not been for the blood staining them. Staining almost every inch of her shirt and some of her pants.

I was curious about her and the blood that stained her garments. Whose blood was it and why was it on her? Was it her own blood? What was going on? All of these questions chased away the pain, leaving me with a few moments of sanity.

I looked into her face again, and I recognized it. It was the tear stained face of my very own mother. It wasn't a gamble of why I didn't recognize her the first time, for there were many wrinkles in her face that I had never seen before. And her eyes looked weary, something I was not used to seeing in her eyes. It was my mother all right, just a much older looking version.

She wasn't looking at my face, so she had yet to realize that I was awake. She was too busy sobbing as she studied my hands. But why was she looking there...oh, now I remember. I had slit my wrists.

As I looked at my wrists, I was shocked and sickened to see the damage that I myself had done. Although, they were wrapped up in many layers of bandages, I could see the blood soaking through them...turning the white bandages into red ones. So much blood! Too much blood, it was all making me sick!

I turned my thoughts back to my mother, only to watch as she finally collapsed and feel to pieces on my bed, and on my dying body. I knew that I was dying, I could feel it. But it was at that exact moment when the realization of my soon-to-come death hit me that I realized that I wanted to live more than anything in the world.

I didn't want to die! I'm too young to die! I still have a lot to do in life...don't I? I know that I was the one that made the horrible decision and slit my wrists. I know that I was hasty and wrong to do such a thing, but to die because of it? Please just give me a another chance! I'll become a stronger person and I won't keep the pain to myself again...I promise. Please, just give me a second chance...just give me the chance to live!

My desperate cries I tried to scream, but I just couldn't get my mouth to move right. My voice wasn't working at all, nothing came out. And all I got for my troubles was the rekindled pain that burst to life inside my body.

Yet another scream to add to the ones that were already tearing my mind to pieces. But this one...I could not ignore like the others. For it was my own. This scream, my scream, was ripped from my dry and raspy throat as it deafened my own ears with its loudness.

Tears finally began to fall from my tightly shut eyes as the pain became too much. Now I just wanted it to end! I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted the only thing that could free me of this self inflicted pain...my death.

I could almost hear my mother as she frantically began to scream my name over and over and over again. I also heard another voice, one that I didn't recognize. It was trying to calm my mother down, or at least I think it was. My scream was too loud to be sure.

I was barely aware of what was happening to my body, for my battle was an inner one. They may have tried to save me, but I don't think that they could even if they knew how. My mother and the doctors were helpless as they could only watch me die.

No...I didn't want to die. But it looked like I was left with few choices. I knew that my time was up; everything was starting to darken. And gratefully, my pain started to lessen and lighten. So much so that I finally had stopped screaming.

Then my eyelids started to get heavy. I was starting to get drossy, everything was just to damn tiring. Dimly, I noticed that the pain was almost completely gone. I could feel as my body started to surrender to the darkness that was eating away the pain and misery.

Then slowly bit by tiny bit, my strength started to leave me, fading into naught. I'd never felt this weak before, but it was kind of a nice feeling. The sleep is just so tempting, all I want is to give into the desire and sleep forever.

And then my heart started to slow its beating. Almost coming to a complete stop. I can't hear it anymore because it is so soft, if it is still beating at all. Although I can't hear my heat beating anymore, I can hear a new beat...the pulse and beating of my soul. It was the most beautiful and glorious thing that I have ever heard.

Finally, my breaths were becoming so had and tiring that I just...stopped taking them. That was much better, so peaceful. I can feel as all of the pitiful worries and strives of life leave me. In my last moments of living, why should I care?

They always say that right before you die, you see your whole life flash before your eyes. And I guess they were right, because I saw mine. I saw the first day that I rode my bike, a strange moment, but a happy one. It was when my father was still with us, and we were a happy little family. We were all laughing and had kind faces, and not the masks we wear now-a-days.

The next memory was when Souta was born, it's very dim and shaky, but I can remember it. I remember when they came home form the hospital with little Souta in their arms. Again, my father was still there with us. I instantly fell in love with that chubby little baby brother of mine.

But not all of the memories were good ones. Next came the memories of when my family began to fall apart. I felt alone as they fought and argued about the stupidest things. I remember how I hid in the closet whenever my father would get home, drunk as usual. They would just ignore Souta and me, pretend that we never even existed. Maybe that was for the best...

The day he left us is the day something inside of me died. Some small part of my innocence was lost as I watched him walk out of the door, and out of our lives. And not even once, did he look back. Momma was in a really bad state then; wounds that could never be healed, scarred her heart.

Then came the first time I fell down the well and met InuYasha, a very precious memory to me. He was the first man that I had ever felt that way about, even the first time I laid eyes on him. He was bound to that tree, and I was bound to his side.

Finally one last memory flashed before my sleeping eyes, the memory of him wrapped in cold, dead arms as he kissed her. The bitterness I felt in my heart I hide from them all, but it was the same bitterness that had destroyed me and lead me to this awful choice. The choice to live or die...and guess which one I chose?

As all of these memories passed before my eyes, I felt all of the hurt and warmth from them...just disappear. I didn't care anymore, and it was a wonder to be so free. All of the pain he caused me, just gone like dust in the wind. But so did my love for him disappear.

At last my heart and soul could be put to rest. With a completeness I had not felt in a very long time, my heart finally collapsed and stopped beating. But the music of my soul still beat loudly in my ears. And my breathing quickly stopped, but I didn't even notice. Where I was going, it wouldn't save me or make me alive.

Closing my eyes for the very last time, a small smile crossed my once crest-fallen lips in a grateful smile, the last smile they would ever form. Loosing myself in the peacefulness of death, I felt everything fall in the sleeping arms of death...as well as myself.

Finally, I was free...free to live and free to die...

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Mrs. Higurashi was in a state of panic, her little baby girl was lying on the cold, hard table where just a few minuets ago the doctor had pronounced her baby dead. The doctors and nurses had all left her alone, all alone to grieve for her lose.

So here she was, staring down into the face of her lifeless daughter. It amazed her at how happy and peaceful her daughter looked...just lying there like that. All the stress and pressure was gone from her daughter. Although she did try to hide it very well, her mother could see right through the façade. Her daughter's journeys into the past had finally been taking their toll on her. And with no way out of her problems, her daughter made the finally choice. The choice to take her own life.

Ms. Higurashi knew that it wasn't her fault, but she could think of no where else to lay the blame. In her heart, Kagome was her daughter and she was her mother, so she should have known something was amiss when Kagome came home that night. But she didn't...and now look at where she was. Her little angel was lying cold...dead on a table. Looking so calm and peaceful, like she had wanted it all along.

The horror of it all destroyed what was left of Ms. Higurashi. As she felt everything fall to pieces; her life, her hopes for Kagome, even her sanity, Ms. Higurashi fell to the floor with one silent sob. Her eyes were dull and worn. The life and fire that was once in them...dispersed.

Sobs could be heard all throughout the hospital floor. Soft, gentle sobs that sounded like haunting music to any who listened. It was the cry of someone whose whole heart had just been crushed. The cry of someone who had lost everything and given up even more.

When the doctors came in five minuets later to check on the body of one Kagome Higurashi, they found am elder woman who was resting quietly on the floor of the hospital room. The doctors tried to rouse her, but to no avail. Nothing they did seemed to awake her. She seemed to be lost forever in her trance like state. Lost in a coma of sorts.

After removing the body of the young woman, the doctors and nurses set to work on the silently weeping woman. After many attempts to waken her, the nurses finally just called in a stretcher and wheeled her away...away from the room with cries that sounded unknowingly to the people who worked there.

Away from everything that she once knew, and will never know ever again.

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It was a silent day in the village, as well as a very gloomy one. The sun had been hidden behind very dark and menacing clouds all day long. It also stormed on and off all day long. Very strange weather indeed.

In one hut, the inhabitants seemed to agree with this statement, for they found the weather both unusual and frightening. Although, of course, they would never admit this out loud to one another. But the glances they kept throwing at one another spoke volumes of their fear.

"InuYasha, I'm scared! Look outside! Something's coming to get us! I want Kagome!" Then again, one voice didn't seem to have that solitary fear.

The smallest and youngest of the inhibitors of the hut was a small kitsune boy. Not really older than five years really. He looked so vulnerable sitting all by himself, dwarfed by the size of the tiny hut. Fear and many other namable emotions could be seen in the depths of his young eyes.

The kitsune boy...or cub really, never even saw the blow coming. He was to busy silently crying for his lost adopted mother. The pain he was feeling over her loose was nothing to the pain that came to him by the fist of one enraged inu hanyou, or dog half-demon.

The kitsune cub looked at the raging older demon with frightened eyes. But the innocence and suffering in those eyes was lost to the older demon. A whimper, to quiet to be heard by any of the humans in the hut, escaped from the fox kit. But the cry was not lost the dog hanyou.

The kit gave a wild, frightened scream at the menace and the violence flaring in the inu's eyes. Quickly glancing around the tent at the ones he considered his surrogate family. None of them even bothered to look at him. He was totally alone in this.

The little child's hopes were daunted when the hanyou took an aggressive step towards the kit. Looking into the hanyou's eyes, the little kit could see his own death in its eyes. Its' eyes...the kit thought as he began to back away, trying to find away to save itself. This is not InuYasha! He would never try to kill me, nor would he hurt Kagome! This has to be one of Naraku's puppets! The real InuYasha would never do any of this!

Unfortunately for the fox kit, InuYasha didn't have any qualms about attacking a poor, defenceless child. The kit was still struggling with the idea of InuYasha turning on him, when the said hanyou unleashed hell upon the kitsune.

The poor kit never saw the attack coming. One second, the InuYasha impersinater was slowly walking towards him, and the next, he was barely two steps away from the kit. Looking up at the hanyou with the biggest eyes that only children could possess, the fox kit could do nothing but watch and wait as the first blow was let loose. He could do nothing but wait for the next blow and then the next after that.

The first blow sent the kit's mind reeling with the force of the blow. His tiny, little skull making a sickening cracking sound as it crashed into the wall. Stars seemed to be dancing right before his eyes. And whispers sung in his mind. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing but the screaming pain that was ripping through his skull.

Bringing shaking hands to his injured head, the fox kit tried to hold in the tears, but everything just hurt too much! He tried to be a man and not show his pain to others, but he was just a little guy!

The kit slowly opened his eyes, the ones he didn't remember closing, when the pain slowly subsided. Make no mistake, the pain was still there, it was just bearable now. But opening his eyes seemed to be another mistake. For the second he opened them, rekindled pain flared to life within his skull.

Tears began to slowly fall down his cheeks, first one...and then another. Then they began to flow. But the whole time he cried, not once did he make a sound. The kit tightly clenched his jaws shut and let the tears run their coarse.

Arms circled the kit in an effort to comfort him, but the arms bore no warmth or love. The arms were cold and clammy. They shock him more than the blow to his head had. Opening his eyes once more, the sight that greeted him made his heart freeze in mid beat.

At first, he thought that it was Kagome with her arms wrapped around him, trying to comfort him. But it was the eyes that told him the truth. They were so cold and uncaring, so unlike Kagome. That was when the stench his him, instantly turning his stomach. The kit could never understand how InuYasha could stand it. It was so sickening! And dog demons had a better sense of smell than foxes, he must have smelled it so much better than the kit. Poor InuYasha. Poor Kagome. Poor little, lost kit.

Trying to scramble away from the undead priestess, the kit was forced to bite the old hag in order to escape her dead embrace. But that proved to be not the smartest thing he could have done. The second after he was free from her darkness, he was in another's embrace. Not one that he would have wanted either.

The kit told himself not to look, but he couldn't follow his own advise. He had to see who or what had him now. And to his dismay, it was InuYasha, or the look alike. Which ever one it was, the kit knew that it would kill him. He hoped that it wasn't InuYasha, but right now that didn't much matter.

The ferial look in the demon's eyes scared the little fox, even more than being in the arms of the dead. Just looking into his eyes, the fox knew without a doubt that the half demon would kill him without a second doubt.

Closing his young eyes, the kit didn't wish to see the promise of death in the hanyou's eyes. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he could dream of a place where he was loved. A place where demons were just fairy tales told to scare little children. A place where someone...anyone, would love him.

He closed his eyes, so that in his last moments of living, the kit could actually find a place, even if only in his dreams, a place to call home. With his last breaths of life, the fox child wished only for somewhere and someone to call his own.

But the end never came. Instead, only an awkward silence that screamed in the gentle air of the hut. He had waited for the end, but nothing came. Not daring to believe it, the kit opened his weary eyes. Opened his eyes only to be bewildered.

No longer was InuYasha holding him by the scruff of the neck. In fact, it seemed that InuYasha was the one being held by the scruff of the neck. The kitsune couldn't believe his eyes. Because standing right in front of him, holding a struggling half demon by the throat, was another kitsune. But a much older one at that.

At first, just from the looks of him, the kit thought that is was InuYasha's brother. For they looked almost exactly the same. But after catching the strangers scent, he wasn't fooled. It was definitely a fox demon.

It seemed that everyone in the room was stunned by the unknown and unexpected "guest." Not one person made a move, not even InuYasha himself. The half demon just hung there, not even daring to breath. The kit was sure that if a pin was to drop, the sound of it would be deafening.

It was then that the fox demon decided to speak. "Why were you attacking one of our kits? A kit that can't even protect himself from the likes of you," his voice was cold, much like Sesshormarus.

No one dared to breathe. They were all looking at the stranger with hostile eyes. But none of them moved to grab their weapons. Very strange behavior for this crew.

Not one for over looking such miracles, the kit quickly composed himself. He slowly, cautiously made his way over to the elder kitsune. He wasn't sure if the fox demon could be trusted. But hey, surely anyplace was better than here, right?

Getting as close to the older fox as he dared, the fox kit stopped just a few feet away from him, his rapid and uneven breaths showing how nervous he really was. He didn't know anything about this guy! For all he knew, this fox could have been one of Naraku's puppets!

"You need not worry on my behalf, little one. For I pose no threat to your safety. I was just in the vicinity when I heard you cries and smelled your tears. It is below me to not answer such a desperate call," he said once again in that calm, collective voice.

The sit was too shocked to say anything. He couldn't believe that anyone would waste their time saving such a pathetic kit as himself. It all seemed to be a forbidden dream, one to good to be true.

Although, he was but a few years of age, the fox demon knew some things about his people. And this was obviously not one of them. He had of course, heard about male kitsune saving one of their clan or blood, but never a complete stranger. Fox demons just didn't do things like that.

"Don't worry, Shippo, I won't harm you. It is not my way to harm those weaker than me. Besides, it looks to me as if you could use my help."

Heart stopped beating, frozen in its spot. Fear swallowing every conscious thought. Fear giving life to terror. Nothing made sense once again. Everything was a world of dying emotions and new fears. Nothing was innocent anymore. Nothing was whole anymore. Nothing was right. It was all to much for the damaged kit.

Turning his back on everything in the hut, on everything that his life once met, the kit fled the hut. Fled away from the unanswered questions that consumed his mind. Away from the pain and betrayal that ripped at his heart. Away from the tears that leaked down his face. Away from the last remains of his childhood, lost in a blaze of treachery. Away from everything he once knew.

Running through the rain and thunder, with lightening crashing all around him, he never once looked back. Everything made no sense anymore. Who was the stranger that knew his name? Why did Kagome leave him behind? Why did everyone he always loved, seemed to leave him? What would he do now? Was this the end for him?

The kit knew what he had to do. He had to find InuYasha; InuYasha always knew what to do in situations like these. InuYasha was always the one that saved the day. The little fox just knew that the real InuYasha wouldn't have hurt Kagome. This one was obviously a fake. And the real one would find Kagome and bring her back. And then they could all be a happy family again.

The kit refused to believe that InuYasha was the one that had betrayed him...betrayed Kagome. No, someone had to have kidnapped the real InuYasha, and this one that tried to hurt him was just a fake. He had to believe in that...'cause if he didn't...then what would he do?

Shippo looked up the InuYasha as a surrogate father. Maybe he never usually showed it, but Shippo knew that the stubborn hanyou cared for him. It was his dream that InuYasha would get together with Kagome and they could all be a happy family.

This wasn't InuYasha that had just tried to kill him...it couldn't be. It just couldn't be. He had no one left...it just couldn't be...

He had fled the hut to save his own life, to escape from the fake InuYasha. He fled the hurt and while doing so, lost some tiny, little part of himself. Perhaps he had lost what little of his innocence he once had. He fled from the truths that he knew but could not accept. He ran from all the hurt and betrayal. He ran because...what else could he do?

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Hiya guys! Sorry it took so long to get out! Heh heh...I kinda had too many other ideas in my head, and lost interest in this one. Sorry about that all! Thankfully someone reviewed it a couple days ago and got me interested in it again. If that happens again, all you have to do is threaten me until I get the next chapter out! I work best under stress and with a deadline. Which really makes no sense to me...oh, well.

And if you haven't reread the first chapter...READ IT AGAIN! I made lots of corrects and added a lot to it! I think I added 1000 words or more! READ IT! You know you want to!

Sorry in advance if there are...probably are any mistakes. I tried to write this as fast as I could. And I haven't exactly proofed it yet. IF I did, I would want to change everything! Bad Elena...Bad!!!! Woo is me... Ya know, it might help me if someone would help me find a beta reader! It really sucks when I do that! So if someone would like to be my beta dude, person, thingy...I would be much abolished!

Well, school just started today...(how evil if you ask me) so, I'll try to keep this story updated as much as I can. I usually never get writers blocks, I'm usually just being lazy and don't want to get off my nice, comfy chair and write it. I'M SORRY! Just keep buggen me if it seems to take to long. Peer pressure is my friend!

Well, I guess I'll let you guys go then. And if you have any complaints or ideas that you want me to add in, just tell me. I can work almost anything into my story...I'm that creative...almost scary nay? (God, I need to get a life...or maybe a job...one or the other...)

Well, I guess it's time for you to either go to the next chapter, (if it's there!) or you can REVIEW this chap. And tell me what you think about it. Or you can threaten me to get the next one out! Hum...choices, choices. Well, c'ya later! CIAO!

Written by yours truly,

~*~FoxyNewt~*~