Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Cruel and Unusual Punishment ❯ Sweet snow, sugar, and beer ( Chapter 3 )

A/N: Thank you for the reviews!!!! Well, now back to your regularly scheduled chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own YYH codeine, or K-Mart.

Chapter 3: Sweet snow, sugar, and beer.

Hiei's POV:

Both of the lottle monsters are in the cage. I need some sweet snow. There's none in the kitchen. I think I'm gonna die. I have to get some sweet snow, even if it means letting 1 ½ demons out of a cage (Kurama called me after he left [From a safe distance, did you notice?] and told me Emri was a demon).

"Oi! Kumaru!" I called to the newly awakened half-ningen."You know where I can get some sweet snow?"

"I don't know what that is, but K-Mart has everything!" shouted the girl from the cage.

"If I let you out, will you take me to this `K-Mart'?" I asked warily

"Sure," she replied, " I'll even show where Mommy and Uncle Touey's credit cards are. On one condition."

Uncle Touey? Who is Uncle Touey? I thought. Oh yes, her mother must live with her brother. They share a house. Duh.

"Okay, what do you want?" I asked

Kumaru and my `niece' talked about it for a minute, then came to a conclusion.

"Sugar and beer." said Kumaru proudly, drawing herself up. Why not? I thought, her parents aren't here. Maybe the alcohol will knock them out and I can get some peace.

"Okay, you can have your sugar and beer." I replied, unlocking the cage. To my suprise, they came out silently and, well, normally. That unsettled me the most. What had I done?

15 minutes later:

"I want this"

"No! Let's get THIS!"

"How `bout THIS??"

We have been in this `K-Mart' for 5 minutes. So far, we ha ve filled two carts. The first one is full of sugar, candy, and six 12 packs of beer. The second one is full of 2 buckets of each kind of sweet snow, which these ningens call `ice cream'. Well, every flavor except for pistachio almond, I hate that kind(A/N Sorry all p a fans!)

As we rolled into the checkout, Kumaru and Emri took off. I was about to pay for my sweet snow when they came back, arms loaded with chocolate. When we finally left and got back to the hafl-ningen's house, those to brats were jumping up and down with excitement.

"Beer beer beer!" They cried as we walked through the door. They pulled the shopping cart with the beer and sugar(we had stolen the carts from K-Mart) over to the couch and started unloading it as I went to the easy chair and opened a bucket of sweet snow. As both of them took their first swallow of beer, they made a face of disgust.

"This isn't sweet enough, Uncle Hiei!" Emri cried over her beer bottle.

"Then put sugar in it!" I growled back, my mouth full of sweet snow. How dare she bother me while I'm eating! She's lucky this would melt if I left it.

At my suggestion, both 7-year-olds started putting sugar in their beer. By the time they thought it was sweet enough, the girls had used a 2-pound bag of sugar between them. I'm starting to get worried. Kumaru is vibrating and staggering at the same time. Emri is normal now. Things are about to get ugly.

30 minutes later:

"I LIKE BIG *hic* BUTTS AND I CANNOT *hic* LIE, YOU *hic* OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T *hic* DE-NY! *hic* WHEN A *hic* GIRL WALKS *hic* IN WOTH A ITTY BITTY *hic* WAIST *hic* AND THAT ROUND *hic* THING IN *hic* YOUR FACE YOOouu *hiic* geeeettt" Ooomf..

Kumaru has been singing that for 3 minutes straight. It looks like she just passed out. Good.

" Kumawuu! Kumawuu!" Emri cried drunkenly to her fallen friend. "Come on, get up, pweese!!"

When Emri began to cry and shake her, Kumaru got up. Damn. She looked around a bit, her eyes widened, and she dove behind the couch, screaming.

"Kumawu! What's wong?" Emri screamed as she looked around the room.

"B-big s-scary green monster with lots of eyes!" She stammered, while pointing at me. So that's what sugar and beer does to you, I thought. Then it hit me-she could see my demon form!!! What kind of half-demon can do that??? What kind of demon can do that? What does it matter? I asked myself. It's not like it will make a difference. Maybe I'm having too much sweet snow. Oh well. She's still screaming. Maybe if I ignore her she'll stop. Mmm, rocky road sweet snow.....

5 minutes later:

"That's it! Stop screaming Kumaru!" She hasn't stopped yet. That's it, I'm slitting her throat. I don't care if I won't get paid.

As I moved towards her with my katana, Kumaru started to change. All of her hair turned purple, her nose got longer, and she started to get taller. Damn, I thought, she's turning into a panther. Without knowing it I started to back away, and Kumaru stopped changing and started screaming again.

"Maybe you should just go get some aspirin from the bathroom!" Emri yelled over Kumaru's screams. "That might work!!!!" As soon as she said this I ran down the hall and into the bathroom. There was a cabinet above the toilet. I tore it open and looked around. Aspirin, aspirin, aspirin, I thought as I shuffled around the bottles. Where is the aspiri-hey, wait a minute. I pulled out a bottle labeled codeine and read what it did on the back. Pain-killer, I thought, Kumaru's a pain. Maybe it will work on Kumaru!!!!

I grabbed the bottle and went back into the living room. At the sight of me desperately trying to pull the lid off, Kumaru stopped screaming and started laughing. When I finally got the lid off, I ran over to Kumaru, opened her mouth, and poured half the bottle down her throat. She stared at me for a moment, then a dreamy look came over her face, and she dropped to the floor in a sleeping heap. With an evil look, I dashed towards Emri and did the same. I got the same results, only Emri hit the floor a moment after Kumaru, the demon in her putting up a fight. It still lost.

Finally! I thought, and went back to my sweet snow. After all that, Ican go back t omy sweet snow in peace! I feel so relieved now!

I picked up a new bucket(French Vanilla) and pulled off the lid. It had melted.

"No." I said softly and pulled off the lid of another. And another. And another. They were all melted. Every single one.

I sat down, and, for the first time, began to cry.

A/N: Well, what do you think? Please R&R! The next chapter should be up in a few days.