Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Cruel and Unusual Punishment ❯ Haagen Daaz and weird sleeping positions ( Chapter 5 )

A/N: Sorry I took so long to update. I'm going to try to get the rest up more quickly. Well, here's the reason you're all here- the next chapter!!!!!

Disclaimer: Don't own YYH or Haagen Daaz

Ch 5: Haagen Daaz and weird sleeping positions.

Random person's POV:

BOOM!!!!!!!!! There was an explosion as half of Korea slid into the ocean.

5 minutes earlier:

Hiei's POV:

"No! Please!!!!!!!! I haven't even had some yet!!!" I cried to the two brats as they strapped c-4 to every vat of ice cream in the factory except for pistachio almond (Why must they piss me off? Why????), and are preparing to blow it up. I race towards the two brats as Emri lit a match.

10 minutes after the BOOM!:

Hiei's POV:

I stopped at the airport (which, thankfully, had not been blown up) and let Emri down. I had picked her up and ran out of the factory just as the match was falling from her hand. Kumaru was racing gleefully around my knees. Sick and tired of this game, I pulled out one of the bottles of codeine, and stuffed it down their throats. The effect was so welcomed, I almost cried again. I tied their legs together and swung them over my shoulder.

People wouldn't stop staring at me in the airport. It's like they've never seen anyone carry two unconscious little girls over their shoulder to a plane before.

"What the hell are you staring at?" I asked a bald man as he looked at me mouth agape. "You'd do it too if you had to babysit them." And with that I walked on to the plane.

Back at Kumaru's house.

Kurama finally cam over to pick up his little brat. When he saw that Emri was drugged, he just eyed me suspiciously and went to go put her in the cage. Only I think he looked through my bag because I'm missing a bottle of codeine. When Kumaru started to wake up later on, she was perfectly normal. All she did was ask me if I would make her some dinner. I agreed, somehow, and went into the kitchen to make a `grilled cheese'.

"What is this?" Kumaru asked me as I handed her her plate. On it was two big black squares.

"Grilled cheese." I said proudly. I, Hiei, can produce food! Let's see Kurama top that!

"Um, mister babysitter sir, this doesn't look like grilled cheese." Kumaru said. Normally I would have gotten mad, but the way she said that made me stop and think. Her voice is full of pity and sorrow. A 7-YEAR-OLD HALF DEMON PITIES ME!!!!!!!!!This is getting too weird. If I get through this, I'm killing Kurama.

"Kumaru, how do you order a pizza?" I asked the little girl wearily. The effect was emmediate.

"Youcallthisnumberonthephoneandthisguywillpickupandsay"thisisth epizzaplacecanIhelpyou?"andyouanswer"yeahiwantthisthisandthis"andhegetsitan dthenhemakesthepizzaanddrivestothehouseandgivesusthepizzaandwepayforitandea tit!"

"Um, ok. How about you call the pizza place." I said, still trying to make out her explanation.

In 10 minutes, the pizza man had dropped off the pizza, and Kumaru had begun eating. I need to wash out my eyes. Watching Kumaru eat is like watching Kuwabara hit on my sister. Just plain disgusting.

When the pizza was finished, I sent Kumaru to bed. I went to check on her later-and she wasn't there. Her bed was empty. Iwas about to go look for her when I spotted something large on the dresser. Kumaru was sleeping cross-legged on top of it, supported by her bow!

"Well, this is new" I said to myself as I watched the girl sleep on. I went over to move her into the bed- and that was a HUGE mistake. She started screaming and running around the room.

"The orange monkeys are here! Quick! Jump the gates of hulabaloo!!!! March on, my armadillo friends!!!!" And with that, she fell on the floor in a heap. I just stood there for a while, wondering what had just happened, then slowly backed out of the room.

Next Day:

Hiei's POV.

The brat wants me to take her to the `park' today. I don't think I should put the people of Japan in that much danger. Sure, she already lives here and everything, but someone should put up a `Beware of evil demon child that noeone can handle' sign up or something so that noeone else gets hurt. Besides me. This morning I woke up with sour cream in my hair while smelling like a wet animal. Things can't get any worse.

"Take me to the park please? Please? PleasepleasepleasePLEASE?????" She was begging on the floor. That's sad, I thought to myself, begging over going to the park. Her parents must not let her out of the house at all. Sure, they have good reason, but she has to get out sometime. The people of Japan will have to take their chances. But just in case, I'm bringing an extra bottle of codeine. And money for sweet snow.

A/N: Sorry if it's a little short! Hope you liked it! I'll try and see if I can get the next chapter out by tomorrow. Please R&R!