Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Enma's Torment Theatre ❯ First Kisses ( Chapter 26 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Enma’s Torment Theatre Season Two
Episode Twenty-Six: First Kisses
Story: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (script), Part Two
Msted by: Rose Thorne and Chrissy Sky

Again, thanks to Kaylbunny, for reminding me again that I need to take my time with Zel and Xel. Love you, honey. (You still write them better than me!)


- Ningenkai -

Of course, if wishes were new swords, Hiei would get one every day for the rest of his life. He walked back to the temple and, unable to find his lover, supposed he was still out shopping with the Mazoku priest. Deciding it best to go home and wait for him, mostly because he still felt uncomfortable about being around Yukina for long periods of time, he had just entered the house when he immediately noticed there was someone already inside.

Confused, he walked upstairs quietly and peeked in through the bedroom door. Catching sight of the redhead inside, he couldn’t help but smirk.

Kurama stood in front of the full length mirror placed near their bed, clothed in nothing but a green plaid skirt that ended mid-thigh. The Youko turned this way and that, eyes on his midsection, and most likely wondering if the kilt made him look fat.

“How did it go?” Kurama asked, not turning to face his mate and not surprised that he was there.

Hiei hadn’t expected him to be. He shrugged one shoulder, leaning the other against the doorframe, posture making him seem at ease when really he just wanted to pounce the redhead. “He’s thinking about it now, at least.” The fire demon shifted uncomfortably. “Hearing him is like listening to myself. To how I used to be,” he added softly.

Kurama’s face in the mirror softened. “Like looking into your reflection,” he remarked.

“Hm.” Wanting to change the subject, Hiei walked over to the redhead and tugged lightly on the hem of the kilt. “It looks good.”

“Just good?” Kurama asked wryly, smiling down at him. “I go to all this trouble and all I get is just ‘good.’ I see how it is.”

Hiei snorted and, on a hunch, run his fingers under the green fabric, over the smooth pale skin. No underwear. “What would you like instead? Gorgeous? Undeniably sexy?” he asked, playing along.

“For starters,” Kurama said, tone superior.

“Tsk.” He slapped the Youko’s bare bottom gently. “Watch it, Minamino-san, or you’re going to get more detention.”

“Really, sensei?” Kurama asked eagerly, like a child who had just been offered candy.

A laugh escaped Hiei at the tone. He squeezed Kurama’s soft backside for good measure, earning himself a moan. “Definitely.”

Kurama giggled breathlessly and moved away from him, laying back on the bed and lifted up his legs, giving his diminutive lover yet another interesting view. “I’ve been a very bad boy, sensei. I need to be punished.”

Despite himself, Hiei just laughed more. “Stop, or I’m going to laugh too much to do anything.”

“My…” But Kurama was laughing too.

Hiei sat the edge of the bed, between Kurama’s legs. He laid his head on the redhead’s bare chest and Kurama wrapped his arms and legs around Hiei in turn.

“Something wrong?” Kurama asked gently, surprised at the sudden mood shift.

Hiei shook his head. “No, just thinking about them again.” He didn’t think he needed to specify who. “On the way home, I kept thinking about you, and how grateful I am for this,” he confessed. “Grateful that I’m not in the mindset that Zelgadis is now.”

Kurama nuzzled Hiei’s ward-covered forehead. “That’s why you wanted to talk to him.”

Hiei nodded. He began licking Kurama’s chest. “Do you think they’ll be alright?”

Kurama almost started laughing again, but this wasn’t the first time Hiei had tried to hold a normal conversation during foreplay. Yet another thing that made his lover unique. “Eventually,” he gasped out. “They’re not like us, or even Yuusuke and Koenma. Xellos, at least, is accepting of his own feelings. He just won’t say them out loud.” He’d tried to hold a conversation with the priest about Zelgadis, but to no avail. Xellos could be horribly unforthcoming when he set his mind to it.

Hiei hummed thoughtfully, tongue swirling around one of Kurama’s nipples. “I hope so. They’ll be good for each other.”

Kurama moaned, arching up into the contact. “Like us?”

"Definitely." Hiei smirked. "Kilt. Sex. Now."

*

Zelgadis did think. He sat there thinking by the side of the pond, staring at his disgusting reflection long after Hiei had left. When sunset had passed, and the crickets began to sing, he finally made his way back to Genkai’s temple, still thinking.

He tried to remember all their encounters with Xellos, trying to find some fault in Hiei’s logic, and to distinguish between the Mazoku’s behavior now from how he usually acted. When they had first met him, Xellos had initially made himself off to be just a hapless priest trying to reclaim a copy of the Claire Bible. It was obviously a false story, especially since Xellos had asked them, “So telling a story like that will make you believe me?”

Zelgadis shook his head. There was no denying the priest’s sense of humor. He never failed to liven things up, not that their lives were boring to start with.

There were many of other times, almost too many to recall offhand. The battle with Halcyform, who had made the Pledge of Immortality with the Mazoku Saygram. The castle full of marionettes, and how they had all been turned into small plushies, Xellos being the only one who could turn back to normal on his own--saving Lina in the process. That damned tennis match, where Lina had almost killed all of them just because Martina insulted her breast size--again. He still got chills every time he thought of the “Dragon Slave serve!” The whole thing had been a bust anyhow; yet another one of Xellos’ pranks.

When he walked inside, Zelgadis slipped quietly into the door leading directly to the bedroom he shared with the Mazoku. The room was dark, but his eyes were adjusted enough to the night to make out the shape huddled on the floor. Xellos was already in bed. Again, he wondered if the priest actually slept or if he was faking it.

Zelgadis pulled out his bedroll and arranged it quietly, unbuckling his sword before lying down. He turned his head to look at the dark lump across the room.

Unlike the in theatre, Xellos made no sounds at night. He didn’t even fidget, just lay there.

He remembered just last year, of their journey with Filia and the battle against Valgaav and Dark Star. Xellos enjoyed teasing Filia, as she seemed to be the only person capable of getting under his skin. At the time Zelgadis had thought that was because there was some sexual tension between them. But since they had parted ways with Filia, she’d said she hadn’t seen the Mazoku since, nor did she want to. She wanted Xellos to stay away from baby Val. Zelgadis knew that was most definitely a good idea. After all of that, it’d be a shame to ruin the entire effort by Val remembering his hatred for Xellos, and for Lina.

The last thing they needed was for that little baby to grow into an adult and still hold a grudge against them, when they were too old and decrepit to do anything about it. Zelgadis and Lina would probably live a long time, since they were powerful magic users, but they weren’t like Xellos. They weren’t immortal.

Ah, there he went again. Getting mad at Xellos just for what he was. Zelgadis sighed and rolled onto his back.

Xellos was a Mazoku. He did evil things. Except…

Except when they had fought Dark Star. Xellos had fought beside them, to destroy the Dark Lord invading their world. Zelgadis had had the feeling, then, that it had been something Xellos wasn’t supposed to do. He wondered if…

“Xellos?” he hissed, sitting up on his side quickly, too caught up in the thought to stop himself.

Xellos moaned softly, and after Zelgadis called his name again he finally croaked, “Zelgadis-san?”

“When you helped us fight Dark Star, to use the weapons against him… Did you get in trouble with the Beastmaster?” the curious shaman asked, feeling as though his heart was going to jump from his throat.

The Mazoku rolled over, and his feline eyes almost glowed in the dark. “Why do you want to know?”

“Just curious.”

“I did,” Xellos admitted, then tilted his head. “What made you think of that suddenly, Zelgadis-san?”

Zelgadis shook his head, rolling onto his back once more. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

Xellos shrugged and returned to his former position, wondering what was going on in the Chimera’s mind as he drifted back to sleep.

Sleep didn’t come so easily for Zelgadis. His mind was still boggling.

If Xellos was telling the truth, he had wilfully gone against his master’s orders. Mazoku were not supposed to disobey their masters. It was unheard of. It was against their natures. But Xellos had done it.

That, somehow, made all the difference.

*

The next morning dawned bright and clear, with a cool breeze blowing, giving everyone the definite impression that it would be a beautiful day that none of them would enjoy, sadly. There was a theatre to go to and a script to MST.

Koenma arrived to personally escort them to the Reikai, staying long enough to eat breakfast. Right after he, Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Lina, Zelgadis and Xellos were at the theatre, waiting for Hiei and Kurama to make an appearance.

“Botan did tell them about the MST today, right?” Yuusuke joked.

Koenma nodded. “I believe so.”

“They might be too busy with each other to notice the time,” Zelgadis offered snidely, earning a snort from Kuwabara.

“I keep waiting for that to happen,” Kuwabara said.

When the two demons did walk through the glass doors, though, they understood slightly why they were late. Kurama was wearing a green kilt, along with one of his more plain Chinese tops. Hiei walked slightly behind him, eyes firmly on the Youko’s slim legs.

Yuusuke let out a wolf whistle. Kuwabara laughed, Koenma held back his own giggles, and Lina just clapped. Zelgadis stared at the gorgeous redhead; at least until he noticed that Xellos was suddenly missing.

“I didn’t know it was dress up day,” Yuusuke commented. “I would have cosplayed Han Solo or something.”

“Did you lose a bet with Hiei or something?” Kuwabara chuckled.

“Ha ha,” Kurama said wryly.

“Are you even *wearing* anything under that?” Lina asked, way too amazed by this, even though it definitely wasn’t the first time she had seen a man in a dress before.

“Please leave all questions with the lady at the desk,” Kurama replied, earning himself some curious looks from everyone.

Hiei snorted. “He’s been hanging around that Mazoku a lot lately.”

“Sounds like something Xellos would say,” Lina giggled.

Yuusuke managed to stop laughing long enough to comment, "It even has a sporran!" before he broke into laughter again.

Koenma giggled. "It looks good, Kurama."

"Funny," Kurama said wryly, "that's what Hiei said."

Hiei coughed slightly. "Imp."

Lina smirked. "You have the legs for it."

Kurama grinned, unashamed. "You think so?"

Lina giggled, nodding. "Definitely."

Zelgadis rolled his eyes. "Something tells me we need to buy one for Gourry."

Lina glared. "You *want* to spend nine hours fiddling with the pliers again, rock for brains?"

Zelgadis shrugged coolly. "Not my fault you can't take a joke."

Lina smacked him across the hallway, glaring after him. "Fine. Maybe you can get Xellos to help you with it."

Luckily, Zelgadis landed on his ass, not his head. He wasn't sure which one was better, initially. "OW!"

And, quite naturally, that's when Xellos chose to appear out of nowhere, staff in hand as per usual. Only, what wasn't so usual was the fact that he wasn't wearing pants. Like Kurama, he was sporting a kilt, one that road much higher than the Youko's, showing a scandalous amount of the priest's legs. The kilt was, of course, purple.

Zelgadis stared from where he'd landed on the floor and didn't even notice that he'd stopped breathing, not until he had to cough and gasp for breath.

Hiei smirked. "That's one hell of a blush."

Lina giggled then turned her eyes on the now scantily-clad Xellos. "Damn, I don't envy Zel this MST. Sitting next to this all day? He won't last."

Zelgadis glared at her. Yuusuke giggled. "Hey, Xellos, I don't think purple is a real kilt color..."

Xellos smiled brightly at the teen. "It's not!"

"I could have sworn it was blue yesterday..." Kurama said to Hiei.

Hiei snickered. "It probably was."

"Iya. Purple suits me better," Xellos told him.

Kurama smirked. "The length isn't exactly priestly."

"*I'm* not exactly priestly," Xellos said, winking.

Hiei snorted. "We noticed."

Lina giggled. "Besides, you catch more flies with honey!"

At that comment, Xellos looked again at the furiously blushing chimera. "Perhaps I should change back..." he whispered thoughtfully.

"No way!" Lina cried, gaping.

Kurama giggled. "Ask Zel if that's necessary before you do it."

Assured that Zelgadis would say it *was* necessary, Xellos walked over and helped the flushing shaman to stand. "Would you prefer it if I changed back, Zelgadis-san?" he asked, expression surprisingly serious.

Zelgadis didn't look at him. "Do what you want," he said.

Startled, Xellos blinked at him. "Are you sure?"

Zelgadis shrugged. "I'm not your boss," he muttered, uncomfortable. "Wear what you want."

Quickly, before the chimera could react, Xellos closed the distance between them and kissed Zelgadis' cheek chastely. "Thank you, Zelgadis-san," he whispered before abruptly walking away, in the direction of the theatre.

Zelgadis just stood there, not really sure how to react to that. It hadn't been over the line, like the ear thing, but it had been invasive. He was frozen.

As Xellos walked into the darkened room, he had to question the wisdom of his actions. Sometimes he wanted so badly to tease the chimera, others he wanted to protect him, and occasionally he felt afraid and wanted to push Zelgadis away. He was torn.

Hiei glanced at Kurama, frowning. "What the hell just happened?" he whispered.

Kurama looked just as puzzled. "I think it's progression, but I can't say for sure, not with these two."

Yuusuke was finally the first one to move, clapping Zelgadis on the back. "We'd better get in the theatre before Enma gets pissy or something."

"Y-yeah," Zelgadis responded shakily, still looking like his world had been turned upside-down yet again.

The six of them headed into the theatre, shutting the door behind them.

- Theatre -
[sitting from left to right: Kuwabara, Koenma, Yuusuke, Hiei, Kurama, Zelgadis, Xellos, Lina]

Yuusuke: This reminds me of yesterday.
Hiei: [snorted] Because he MSTed yesterday?
Yuusuke: No, Star Wars!
Kuwa: And how does it remind you of Star Wars?
Yuusuke: All of us. Movies. Watching Revenge of the Sith. Yesterday.
Kuwa: Well, yeah, but we sit like this all the time.
Yuusuke: Point.
Lina: I'd *rather* be watching the other one though.
Koenma: I wonder if we're MSTing a fic again or if we're continuing with the script...
Botan's voice: Script, Koenma-sama!
Yuusuke: Woohoo!
Kurama: [giggles] Well, as long as it's not a fic, I'm happy.
Hiei: [smirks, moves into his lap and lounges there]
Yuusuke: [softly to Koenma] That kilt doesn't bode well...
Koenma: [softly, to Kurama] I do hope you don't plan on going exhibitionist...
Kurama: [same] Don't worry. Wearing underwear, so it hopefully won't get that far.
Hiei: [loudly] It's a g-string, so who knows.
Xellos: [falls over laughing]
Hiei: Let's just hope that Xellos is wearing underwear.
Lina: I'm not looking. Zel?
Zelgadis: [chokes] Don't even ask me!
Xellos: [sits back down cheerfully] Too late!
Lina: Er. Dare I ask why?
Xellos: [blushes] Because I'm sitting on the couch?
Lina: Darn. Here I was hoping Zel snuck a peek...
Zelgadis: I didn't!
Hiei: [snickers] I doubt that.
Zelgadis: There was *no* peeking!
Xellos: [opens his eyes] Zelgadis-san is too honorable to do such a thing.
Lina: Aww, that's so sweet! The temptation was there, but the stalwart Zelgadis didn't give in. Gonna wait for the wedding night, eh?
Zelgadis: Lina, shut up.
Lina: [pouts] Aww. Zel-chan, don't be mean!
Zelgadis: [glares] I'm not being mean. Do you *want* me to be mean?
Lina: You think you can take me, metal head?
Xellos: Ano, Zelgadis-san, Lina-san. Normally I wouldn't mind being the cause of a fight, but now hardly seems like the place.
Zelgadis: [annoyed] *You* aren't the cause of this one. She is.
Xellos: [gently] She was teasing you about me though.
Zelgadis: And that's your fault, how?
Xellos: [blinks, startled] You... don't blame me?
Zelgadis: Lina's the one making assumptions.
Xellos: [assures himself he's reading too much into it and says nothing]
Hiei: [smirks] I think you broke his brain, Zel.
Zelgadis: [shrugs]
Kurama: [chuckles] It was bound to happen at some point.
Lina: [smirks] He must really have fallen hard for you, Zel.
Zelgadis: Shut up, Lina.

>[Frodo, Sam and Gollum are all asleep somewhere near Minas Morgul. Gollum is talking in his sleep.]

Yuusuke: [Gollum] Mmm, yes, precious, right there...
Kurama: [giggles] Oh, as if there wasn't enough obvious smut...
Hiei: [shifts] Can't get more obvious than this.
Kurama: [gasps] Starting already, are we?
Hiei: [smirks] Maybe just a little.
Kurama: [giggles, nips his shoulder]

>Gollum: "Too risky...Too risky...Thieves! They stole It from us...kill them...kill them...kill them both!"
>[He wakes up with a scream.]

Yuusuke: That's some wet dream. Takes me back to Hellraiser. Sadomasochism.
Kurama: You and your horror movies...
Hiei: I liked that one.
Kurama: [smiles] I know. I'm not fond of horror. You know that.
Hiei: [licks his nose] I do. It was just interesting seeing one without a shirtless teenage girl screaming her head off, instead having some real sexual tension.
Yuusuke: It's amazing what you can do with chains, hooks, and cheap make-up.
Zelgadis: Sounds disturbing.
Both: It is.
Xellos: But entertaining.
Zelgadis: [snorts] I'm sure.
Xellos: [sweat drops]
Lina: Don't be mean, Zel.
Xellos: It's alright, Lina-san.

>Gollum: "Shhh! Quiet! Musn't wake them!"
>Gollum: "Musn't ruin it now!"

Yuusuke: [Gollum] Yes, so cute with the cuddling, musn't wake them, precious, make losta money with this video...
Koenma: [chuckles]

>[Gollum crawls down from where he was sleeping and makes his way to a little pool of water.]
>Sméagol: "But they knows! They knows! They suspects us!"

Zelgadis: It doesn't help that you're, well, *evil*.
Xellos: Evil doesn't always conform to stereotypes, Zelgadis-san.
Zelgadis: Yeah, sometimes they're skirt-wearing priests who enjoy manipulating people.
Xellos: [sweatdrops] That is very true.
Lina: Zel. You're doing it again.
Zelgadis: [glares at her]
Lina: Well, you are!
Zelgadis: [ignores her]
Xellos: Lina-san.
Lina: Stop letting him walk all over you, Xellos!
Xellos: What does it matter?
Lina: Why *doesn't* it matter??
Xellos: I'm tempted to just tell you it's a secret, Lina-san, but I'll humor you. Because, in the grand scheme of things, what one Mazoku priest may or may not feel does not matter.
Lina: Bullshit. If we went by the "grand scheme of things," Zel and I'd have died millions of times over. *Everything* matters, Xellos.
Xellos: [so only she can hear] But *I* do not, Lina-san.
Lina: And I call bullshit again, Xellos. You might think you don't just because you're a Mazoku, but who gives two shits what you are? You're our *friend,* so you matter!
Xellos: [quietly] It does not matter, Lina-san, because he will grow old and die, and he should be able to spend that time with someone he can grow old with.
Lina: [stares at him, softly] Dammit, Xel, be selfish for once. I'd think that'd be harder on you, having to see him die.
Xellos: [softly] He only feels confusion for me. Hopefully it will never become more.
Lina: [same] If you think that then you're as blind as he is.
Xellos: [hisses] I will *not* doom him to me!
Zelgadis: [looks at him, having heard that last part]
Lina: [throws her hands up] You're both idiots!
Kurama: Lina-san, just let them take their time. They need to be eased into it. It's something too fragile to happen over such a short period of time.
Lina: [annoyed] Fine.
Zelgadis: What was that all about?
Xellos: [brightly] Nothing, Zelgadis-san!

>[The Sméagol side sits on the edge of the pool and the Gollum side looks back from the water.]
>Gollum: "What's it saying, my precious, my love? Is Sméagol losing his nerve?"

Yuusuke: You know, with the amount of crap that Gollum gives Smeagol, you'd think he'd ditch him.
Koenma: Yeah. Go find a nice Hobbit to shack up with.
Hiei: He already does Frodo on the side.
Kurama: Gollum is the perfect jealous lover.
Yuusuke: Like I said, should ditch him.

>Sméagol: "No! Not! Never!"
>Sméagol: "Sméagol hates nasty hobbitses! Sméagol wants to see them...dead!"

Yuusuke: Sounds like he almost wanted to say 'fucked' instead.
Hiei: [snickers] PJ would be a better porn director.
Kurama: He did do a movie about two young lesbians once...
Hiei: Well, maybe not porn. He should stick with stuff he knows something about.
Kurama: Like green soap bubbles scrubbing down Minas Tirith?
Hiei: [snorts] No, like B movies.
Yuusuke: Dead Alive is worth a good laugh, but I hardly think he's *good* at it. I've crapped less disgusting stuff than that movie.
Hiei: Is he any more talented at anything else, though?
Yuusuke: No.
Hiei: 'Che. Useless.
Yuusuke: His fans call him talented the same way George Lucas' fans call him talented. Doesn't mean that either of them really are.
Kurama: The day wouldn't be complete without a Lucas riff...
Hiei: Obviously.

>Gollum: "And we will. Sméagol did it once; he can do it again."
>[A flashback of Sméagol strangling Déagol at the river-bank.]
>Sméagol: "It's ours!!! Ours!!!"
>Sméagol: "We must get the Precious! We must get It back!"
>Gollum: "Patience! Patience, my love."

Yuusuke: Man, it sounds like a bad porno script.
Koenma: Like the one we saw last night?
Yuusuke: Oh yeah. Okay, there's these two guys trying to have sex on top of a hay stack, right? Only they try to do it while one of them is doing a hand-stand. So, naturally, the hand-stand guy falls over. The other one says, "Don't break your neck, dude, I still want to fuck you."
Hiei: And how would him having a broken neck stop that?
Yuusuke: [laughs]
Kurama: [giggles, kisses the back of Hiei's neck]
Hiei: [sticks his hand between Kurama's legs, under the kilt]
Kurama: [gasps] Hiei!
Hiei: [innocently] Kurama?
Kurama: [starts sucking on his neck]
Hiei: [giggles, strokes Kurama's thighs]

>Gollum: "First we must lead them to her."
>Sméagol: "We lead them to the winding stairs."
>Gollum: "Yes, the stairs...and then?"
>Sméagol: "Up, up, up, up the stairs we go and then we come to...the tunnel."
>Gollum: "And when they go in, there's no coming out."
>Gollum: "She's always hungry. She always needs to feed. She must eat. All she gets is filthy orcses."
>Sméagol: "And they doesn't taste very nice, does they, precious?"
>Gollum: "No, not very nice at all, my love."
>Gollum: "She hungers for sweeter meats..."

Yuusuke: [starts laughing] The magical hole of doom!
Kurama: Anything like the tunnel of love?
Kuwa: Probably the opposite.
Xellos: Ouch.
Hiei: [snickers]
Zelgadis: [clueless] What are you talking about?
Hiei: I'm not telling him.
Lina: Xellos should!
Xellos: Lina-san...
Zelgadis: Forget it. I don't want to know.
Lina: Yeah, not quite ready for that talk yet.
Zelgadis: More like I have no idea what you guys are talking about and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to know.
Lina: What? Anal sex?
Zelgadis: Grow up, Lina.
Lina: [sighs loudly] Hopeless.
Kurama: Let it go, Lina-san.

>[Farther away Sam is waking up, slowly opening his eyes, hearing Gollum having the conversation with himself.]

Yuusuke: [Sam] Mister Frodo, why are you watching a bad porno?
Hiei: [snickers, then as Frodo] What porno? Oh, you mean Gollum having sex with himself?
Yuusuke: [Sam] That's what that is? Ew!
Kurama: [giggles] That'd squick anyone out.
Hiei: Apparently not Frodo though. [grimaces] Ew.
Kuwa: You seem to squick yourself out pretty easily.
Hiei: [shrugs]

>Gollum: "...hobbit meat. And when she throws away the bones and empty clothes, then we will find It!"
>Sméagol: "And take It for meeeee!!!"
>Gollum: "For ussss."
>Sméagol: "Yes, we meant, we meant for us."
>Gollum: "Gollum! Gollum!"
>Gollum: "The Precious will be ours...once the hobbitses are dead."

Yuusuke: [Gollum] From fuck.
Hiei: Okay, now I'm getting even more squicked. Imagining Gollum/Sam?
Kurama: You know what they say--in the world of slash, hate means love.
Hiei: [grimaces] Quit it, Imp.
Kurama: Sorry, Dragon. Would you like to punish me now? [winks]
Hiei: [snickers] Tempting, but I daresay you'd enjoy it too much.
Kurama: [giggles] I'm afraid I would.
Hiei: [kisses him deeply]
Kurama: [moans]

>[Gollum drops a stone into the pool and as the reflection in the water becomes still again, Gollum's eyes are met by Sam's. Sam hits Gollum in the head, sending him flying through the air.]
>Sam: "You treacherous little filth!"
>Gollum: "Argh! No! Master!"

Yuusuke: Yup. Hate means love.
Hiei: Which head? [grimaces again]
Xellos: Again, ouch.
Koenma: Yeah, that would be pretty painful.
Xellos: [squirms uncomfortably]
Zelgadis: What's with you?
Xellos: Er. Nothing, Zelgadis-san. Just the thought... [pulls on the hem if his skirt, a little too obviously]
Zelgadis: The thought of *what*?
Xellos: Getting hit. [motions at Zel's crotch] There.
Zelgadis: [shrugs] I'm made of rock, remember?
Xellos: [sheepishly] I'm *not*, Zelgadis-san.
Zelgadis: Okay, so it would hurt for you. But I thought you weren't corporeal?
Xellos: [smiles] I'm as real as I want myself to be.
Zelgadis: [blushes slightly] Ah.
Lina: Zel, even if you are rock, I'm sure that would hurt. Wanna test my theory?
Xellos: I don't.
Lina: Well, seriously, he'd have to have some sensation down there, and it probably includes pain.
Xellos: I'm sure Zelgadis-san does not want to feel pain down there, however.
Zelgadis: I'd rather not experiment with that, Lina.
Lina: You can experiment with the opposite though, with Xellos!
Zelgadis: Shut up, Lina.
Lina: I'm sure he'd make it feel good.
Xellos: Lina-san. Really...
Zelgadis: I told you to shut up, Lina.
Lina: [sighs] Whatever.

>[Frodo awakes from his sleep when he hears Gollum's screams. He hurries to help him.]
>Frodo: "No, Sam! Leave him alone!"

Yuusuke: That almost sounds like the three of you. Only you guys aren't having a love triangle.
Lina: Nah. You know I got my sights set on a certain blonde. [blushes]
Zelgadis: Yeah, and you'd do well to think of him instead of playing matchmaker.
Xellos: Lina-san, don't--!
Lina: [smacks Zel across the room]
Zelgadis: [winces and stands] It's not my fault you have sexual tension.
Xellos: Zelgadis-san--!
Lina: [stands and smacks him again] Go ahead, rock breath, try me again.
Zelgadis: [gets up again] No, I think I'm done.
Xellos: [obviously worried] Zelgadis-san...
Zelgadis: [shrugs] I'm fine. Funny how I get smacked for saying the same stuff about her and Gourry as she does about us.
Xellos: [thinks about it for a minute, then bonks Lina not too lightly on the head with his staff]
Lina: Ow!
Zelgadis: [chuckles]
Xellos: [smiles shyly]
Zelgadis: [moves his dishevelled hair from his face] Well, at least that's settled.
Xellos: [hesitatingly decides to fix it for him] Mm.

>[Frodo pulls Sam away from Gollum, who is moaning on the ground.]

Yuusuke: And that pretty much speaks for itself.
Hiei: Rape!
Koenma: Like Karasu/Kurama fics.
Kurama: No, those have more blood. [grimaces] And explosions.
Hiei: [menacingly] And are a death wish from the authors.
Kurama: [nuzzles him]
Yuusuke: Or Yomi/Kurama. Which is insulting, since he's not a rapist... Er. Is he?
Kurama: No, he's not.
Yuusuke: Well, you'd know. Were you two, uh, you know... back in the day?
Kurama: What's with the interest in my past life?
Yuusuke: Just curious.
Kurama: [shrugs] No offense, but it's none of your business.
Yuusuke: [sighs] They never tell us kids nothin'.
Kuwa: Us kids don't *want* to know.
Yuusuke: Spoilsport.
Hiei: If it's anyone's business, it's mine, but the past is the past and it shouldn't matter to anyone.
Yuusuke: Yipe.
Hiei: What?
Yuusuke: That was me backing off.
Hiei: [shrugs]
Kurama: [softly] I've only ever loved you like this, Dragon.
Hiei: [smiles, same] I know, Imp. [kisses him]
Kurama: [grins] Good.

>Sam: "I heard it from his own mouth; he means to murder us!!!"
>Gollum: "Never! Sméagol wouldn't hurt a fly!"

Yuusuke: [Gollum] Unless it was really, really sexy...
Kurama: [Gollum] And wore a really shiny cock ring...
Hiei: [winces] Imp, the squick factor...
Kurama: Er. Sorry, Dragon... Any way I can make it up to you?
Hiei: [smirks] I can think of a few...
Kurama: [licks his neck] Do share.
Hiei: [nips his chin] Well, it involves hitching up this kilt...
Kurama: [squirms underneath him] Oh?
Hiei: [leers] But we'd better do that later, at home.
Kurama: [moans in disappointment] I know.
Hiei: [kisses him deeply]
Kurama: [places Hiei's hand under the kilt again]
Yuusuke: [to Koenma, softly] I'm surprised they don't chafe, with how often they go at it...
Koenma: [same] Might be another demon thing?
Yuusuke: [same] Who knows. Whatever it is, they're a couple of rabbits.
Koenma: In perpetual heat.
Hiei: [kicks at them] Heard that.
Kurama: Ignore them, Dragon.
Hiei: [kisses him again]

>[Gollum presses his hand against his head and screams as he sees blood in it.]
>Gollum: "He's a hobbit, fat hobbit who hates Sméagol and who makes up nasty lies!"

Yuusuke: It's that opposites thing again...
Kurama: It's like the fangirl logic behind most slash. Take Snape/Harry for instance. On the outside so different, yet they're more alike than either of them likes to admit.
Hiei: [shrugs] It happens a lot. Me and Kurama for example.
Kurama: [grins]
Yuusuke: You two can be so sappy sometimes.
Kurama: And you and Koenma aren't?
Yuusuke: [grins]
Koenma: [giggles]

>Sam: "You miserable little maggot! I'll stove your head in!"

Koenma: [Sam] With, er, Stove Top!
Yuusuke: [Frodo] Still hungry, Sam?
Koenma: [Sam] A bit, Mister Frodo...
Yuusuke: [giggles, Frodo] Anything I can do to help with that?
Koenma: [Sam] Quite a bit, actually...
Yuusuke: [kisses Koenma; Frodo] Oh?
Koenma: [Sam] See, I hear there are some things that can sate hunger that don't really involve food...
Yuusuke: [straddles Koenma's hips; Frodo] How does that work, Sam? You'll have to explain it to me...
Koenma: [giggles; Sam] It might be easier to just show you, Mister Frodo.
Yuusuke: [Frodo] Okay, Sam. I trust you... Just no more of this talk about marrying Rosie, alright?
Koenma: [Sam] Okay, Mister Frodo. Whatever you say.
Yuusuke: [Frodo] Good boy--I mean, Sam.
Hiei: [whispers] He says *we're* weird?
Kurama: [giggles]

>[Frodo is pulling at Sam's hand, holding him back as Gollum scuttles away from him.]
>Frodo: "Sam!"
>Sam: "Called me a liar! You're a liar!"

Yuusuke: [is too busy with Koenma to notice the text moved]
Hiei: [softly] Well, that's a first...
Kurama: [giggles] Indeed.
Zelgadis: They were as bad as you two when you were gone.
Hiei: [blinks] Really?
Xellos: Oh yes! It was very adorable.
Kurama: [amused] And here Yuusuke was claiming he wasn't an exhibitionist...
Yuusuke: [lays his head on Koenma's shoulder] Nah, you guys are the only exhibitionists here.
Hiei: Uh-huh. Sure.
Yuusuke: [yawns, shifts till he gets comfortable]
Koenma: [blushes, gasps] Yuu-chan...
Yuusuke: Eh?
Koenma: [very softly] The friction...
Yuusuke: [wakes up] Oh! Er. Sorry.
Koenma: [kisses him]
Yuusuke: [grins]

>[Gollum screams, hiding behind a gangling tree. Frodo makes Sam face him.]
>Frodo: "We scare him off, we're lost!"
>Sam: "I don't care!"
>Sam: "I can't do it, Mr. Frodo! I won't wait around for him to kill us!"
>Frodo: "I'm not sending him away!"
>Sam: "You don't see it, do you? He's a villain."

Zelgadis: [quietly] Villains don't always conform to stereotypes... Or so I hear.
Xellos: [blinks at him, and nods] Hai, Zelgadis-san!
Zelgadis: [hides a smile]
Lina: [grins]

>Frodo: "We can't do this by ourselves, Sam. Not without a guide."
>[Sam watches Frodo with a serious face.]
>Frodo: "I need you on my side."

Yuusuke: [Frodo] And behind me. And in front of me. And--
Koenma: [Sam] Yes, Mister Frodo!
Hiei: [snickers] And on his knees.
Yuusuke: And me on--
Koenma: Yuu-chan.
Yuusuke: Yup! On *you*!
Koenma: [blushes, giggles]
Hiei: Saps.
Kurama: [wryly] Are we not saps?
Hiei: Yes. [kisses him]
Kurama: [giggles] My.

>Sam: "I'm on your side, Mr. Frodo."
>Frodo: "I know, Sam. I know."
>Frodo: "Trust me."

Kurama: It's Frodo who can't trust Sam, though.
Hiei: Their scenes are the most boring, unless you look at it from a smutty perspective.
Yuusuke: I can't *only* look at it from that perspective.
Hiei: [shrugs]
Kuwa: Well, you're a pervert, Urameshi.
Yuusuke: [sweat drops]
Koenma: [smirks] A regular hentai.
Yuusuke: [grins] You know it, baby.
Koenma: [giggles]

>[Sam won't argue with Frodo and lowers his face.]

Lina: Reminds me of somebody else I know who's been acting submissive lately...
Zelgadis: Lina, shut up.
Lina: I didn't mean *you*.
Zelgadis: I'm perfectly aware of that, but I'm still telling you to shut up.
Lina: [huffs] Then you're perfectly aware *why* he's acting that way, aren't you?
Zelgadis: Mind your own business, Lina.
Lina: Fine. But only because Xellos looks like he's going to hit me with his staff again.
Xellos: [tries to hide the long piece of wood behind his back] No I wasn't, Lina-san!
Zelgadis: [grins] Next time I'll just tell him to hit you right off the bat instead of trying to argue with you.
Lina: [sighs] Sure. They finally start getting along, but it's only to gang up on me... I see how it is.
Xellos: [giggles]
Hiei: "All is as I have foreseen."
Kurama: [giggles]
Hiei: [grins] It's true.
Kurama: I know, dear. Don't get too confident, though, they're just taking their first steps.
Hiei: [kisses him]

>Frodo: "Come, Sméagol."
>[Gollum crawls past Sam, looking scared and takes the hand Frodo is offering him. As he and Frodo start walking, Gollum looks back at Sam, the scared expression on his face suddenly replaiced by a cruel and scheming smirk. Sam sees this and narrows his eyes.]

Koenma: [Sam] Grr.
Yuusuke: [Frodo] Now's not the time for role playing, Sam.
Koenma: [Sam] Damn.
Yuusuke: [giggles]

>[It is night and Aragorn is walking outside the Golden Hall, his pipe in his hands. He turns to look to his left and sees a dark figure, standing very still, a few meters away. Aragorn makes his way to Legolas, who is gazing into the direction of Mordor.]

Kurama: [Legolas] Can we put our country home over there?
Yuusuke: [Aragorn] Sure, honey.
Hiei: [snorts] It'd be pretty damned hot.
Kurama: Well, I want that pairing to burn anyway.
Yuusuke: Yeah, Legolas/Gimli is so much hotter.
Hiei: [snorts]

>Legolas: "The stars are veiled."

Xellos: [sings] And if I had a star to wish on, for my life I can't imagine, any flesh and blood could be his match, I can even take him in the bath...
Yuusuke: Wha-?
Xellos: [sweat drops] Dresden Dolls.
Zelgadis: Interesting.
Xellos: [smiles]
Lina: [grins again]

>[Aragorn comes to stand beside Legolas.]
>Legolas: "Something stirs in the East...A sleepless malice."

Yuusuke: Thank you, Captain Obvious. That's only what the trilogy is *about*.
Hiei: [shifts restlessly]
Kurama: [gasps]
Hiei: [smirks]
Kurama: [toys with Hiei's belts]
Hiei: [fondles Kurama's leg]
Kurama: [giggles]

>[They glance at each other.]
>Legolas: "The Eye of the enemy is moving."

Yuusuke: Like those funky fake eyeballs they used to sell for Halloween?
Koenma: [yawns and puts his arm around Yuusuke's shoulder] Shame they gave Bloom lines. If they wanted him for the pretty factor, the least they could have done was made him mute, too.
Yuusuke: [snuggles close] Yeah. Silence sells.
Xellos: [nods] Most silent and mysterious characters are popular.
Zelgadis: I'm sure the opposite is true, too.
Hiei: Yeah. Pippin's pretty popular.
Kurama: I could never figure that one out. Makes me feel old.
Hiei: [snorts] Well, Zelgadis is popular because of his dark past.
Zelgadis: I am?
Yuusuke: And Xellos is popular because he's... well, Xellos.
Xellos: [nods enthusiastically]
Zelgadis: [snorts] But I'm really popular?
Yuusuke: Yeah, the chicks dig the brooding introspective guys.
Kurama: [grins] That's one reason Hiei's popular, but he's mine.
Hiei: [smirks] Always.
Lina: What about me?
Yuusuke: You're popular because you're not the atypical magical girl.
Lina: [grins]

>[In the next scene we are inside the room where Gandalf and the hobbits are sleeping. Pippin wakes up. He stands up from his bed on the floor and sneaks towards Gandalf.]
>Merry: "What are you doing?"

Yuusuke: [Pippin] I want the magic butt plug!
Koenma: [giggles]
Kurama: [Merry] But Gandalf's played with it!
Yuusuke: [Pippin] Ewww... Hippy germs...
Xellos: [snickers]

>[Pippin turns, surprised, but doesn't give Merry an answer. As he stands beside Gandalf's bed, Pippin is startled, for the wizard sleeps with his eyes open.]

Kurama: And it still doesn't help him.
Hiei: Because Gandalf's a pedo.
Kurama: [snirks]
Hiei: Even in his sleep.
Lina: Reminds me of Xellos pretending to sleep on Zel.
Hiei: [snickers]
Xellos: [blushes slightly] Irk.
Zelgadis: [softly] Hit her with the staff.
Xellos: [sheepishly, quietly] Iya, but it's true.
Zelgadis: [flushes slightly]
Xellos: [ditto]
Lina: [giggles]
Xellos: [bonks her again anyway]
Lina: Oi!!
Zelgadis: [snickers]
Xellos: [smiles]

>Merry: "Pippin!"
>[Pippin takes a closer look at Gandalf and waves a hand in front of his eyes to make sure he is asleep.]

Yuusuke: [Puss] Hey, boss. Let's shave him.
Koenma: [starts laughing]

>Merry: "Pippin?"
>[Merry sits up in his bed as Pippin is about to replace the Palantír in Gandalf's grip with a pot. The wizard mutters something in his sleep, causing the hobbit to draw back. Quickly Pippin snatches the Palantír, wrapped in a cloth, without disturbing Gandalf's sleep.]

Yuusuke: [Gandalf, in sleep] Sea monkey stole my money...
Koenma: [laughs harder]
Hiei: That better not be a riff on short people.
Yuusuke: It wasn't. If I was riffing on short people, I'd say--
Koenma: Yuu-chan.
Kurama: Good call, Koenma.
Koenma: [pulls Yuusuke closer]
Yuusuke: [grins, leans against Koenma]

>Merry: "Pippin! Are you mad?!"

All: Yes.
Hiei: [Pippin] Gandalf used MY butt plug!
Kurama: [laughs]
Hiei: [grins, kisses Kurama's chin]
Kurama: [licks Hiei's nose]
Hiei: [giggles]

>Pippin: "I just want to look at it! Just one more time..."

Yuusuke: [starts laughing] Is he going to pull up Gandalf's robes now?
Xellos: That old man sure gets a lot of action from those Hobbits...
Yuusuke: I'm thinking height and libido are inversely related...
Kurama: Was *that* a short people joke?
Yuusuke: Uh. Not really...
Hiei: Good.
Kurama: Besides, that doesn't explain me.
Hiei: [smirks] This is true.
Xellos: Or me!
Zelgadis: [chokes]
Lina: [starts laughing]
Xellos: [blushes sheepishly]
Hiei: [softly] Zel's going to get a run for his money.
Lina: [laughs harder]
Zelgadis: [hides his face]
Xellos: Whoops.
Zelgadis: [blushes, glares at him]
Lina: [laughs even harder]
Xellos: [hits her again]
Lina: [still giggling helplessly] Ow!
Xellos: [sweat drops] Ah well. It was worth a try.
Zelgadis: [still blushing] Maybe she'll shut up if we make a comment about her and Gourry...
Xellos: No!
Zelgadis: [blinks] Why not?
Xellos: She'll hit you.
Zelgadis: [flushes, shrugs]
Xellos: [smiles] And your hair is worse for wear as it is.
Zelgadis: [blushes]

>[Pippin unwraps the cloth and takes out the Stone, sweat glistening on his face.]
>Merry: "Put it back!"

Koenma: [Merry] You *know* where it's been!
Yuusuke: [giggles]
Xellos: [shivers suddenly] Iya. I forgot about the cold...
Zelgadis: Huh?
Xellos: My legs. I'm freezing. [sweat drops]
Zelgadis: [flushes] Oh.
Xellos: [blushes, pulls his legs up to his chest]
Zelgadis: [rolls his eyes; takes off his cloak and hands it to Xellos]
Xellos: Thank you, Zelgadis-san! [kisses his cheek again, very quickly]
Zelgadis: [blushes deeply] Don't do that.
Xellos: ... Sorry. [puts the cloak over him]

>[With a satisfied smile on his face Pippin lowers his hands on the stone.]
>Merry: "Pippin..."

Kuwa: [Merry] You like that butt plug more than me!
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Hiei: Merry must not be well-endowed.
Xellos: Not if he's proportionate to his size, no.
Kurama: That doesn't qualify for Hiei.
Xellos: [giggles] My.
Kurama: He's MUCH bigger than you'd expect.
Hiei: [blushes] Kurama.
Kurama: [innocently] Yes, dear?
Hiei: [shifts] Hush.
Kurama: [gasps] Yes, dear.

>[The smile on the hobbit's face soon fades as the Lidless Eye appears in the Palantír. Pippin is unable to take his hands off the Stone and starts to shake.]
>Merry: "No! ...Pippin!"

Koenma: [Merry] You've got it on the high setting!
Yuusuke: [giggles] That'd be bad if he weren't a whore.
Koenma: [laughs]

>[Merry watches, scared, as his friend struggles with the glowing Palantír. We see Legolas and Aragorn, still outside the Golden Hall. Legolas turns to look at Aragorn, alarmed.]
>Legolas: "He is here!"

Yuusuke: Captain Obvious strikes again!
Hiei: Took him long enough.
Kurama: The Force is not strong with this one.
Hiei: [snickers]

>Voice of Sauron: "I see you..."
>Merry: "Pippin!!!"

Kurama: [Sauron] And I want my money back...
Hiei: [starts laughing]
Kurama: [kisses his cheek]
Lina: How is it that your legs aren't cold, Kurama?
Kurama: [grins] Hiei keeps me warm.
Hiei: [grins] Need me to turn up the heat, Imp?
Kurama: Please do. [giggles]
Hiei: [turns to straddle him] Okay.
Zelgadis: [blushes] There they go again.
Xellos: [snuggles contentedly with Zelgadis' cloak]
Lina: [giggles]
Xellos: [blushes]
Zelgadis: [sighs]
Xellos: [hides his face in the cloak]
Lina: [still giggling] So submissive.
Xellos: [tries to hit her again, but since he's not looking he misses]
Lina: [laughs harder]

>[Pippin jumps up, holding the Palantír as if it were glued to his hands. We see in slow-motion as the hobbit struggles with the flaming Stone, falling down on his back. Sauron's voice whispers in the background and Pippin cries in agony.]
>Merry: "Help!!! Gandalf!"

Kurama: If you're in trouble, I doubt that's the person you want to come help you...
Hiei: Probably not.

>[Finally Gandalf stirs from his sleep and jumps up from his bed. Aragorn and Legolas storm into the room as well.]
>Merry: "Help him! Someone help him!"

Hiei: Apparently Gandalf's deaf.
Kurama: He's probably just drunk.
Hiei: Or high.
Kurama: True.
Yuusuke: Well, he is a hippy.
Kurama: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are hippies; you don't see them shirking their responsibilities... Well, at least not on purpose.
Yuusuke: But they still do it.
Xellos: Well, death kind of hinders one.
Yuusuke: ... You realize I wasn't talking about sex, right?
Xellos: [sweat drops] Yes.
Lina: [giggles]

>[Aragorn snatches the Palantír from Pippin's hands but falls on his knees, taken over by its power. Legolas tries to help his friend and holds him still.]

Yuusuke: And breaks out the lube, spreads him--
Koenma: Yuu-chan.
Hiei: [giggles] And here I thought you didn't like that pairing.
Yuusuke: It's Aragorn getting screwed. What's not to like?
Kurama: [snorts]
Yuusuke: Besides, when the joke arises it's a shame to waste it.
Hiei: [snickers]
Zelgadis: [whispers] I'm kind of glad that went over my head...
Lina: [giggles] You sure you don't want us to explain it, Zel?
Zelgadis: [glares] Quite sure. And quit meddling.
Lina: That would mean that there's something to meddle *in*.
Zelgadis: Shut up, Lina.
Xellos: [way too cheerfully] Can I hit her again, Zelgadis-san? It's getting to be fun.
Zelgadis: Go for it.
Xellos: [bonks Lina]
Lina: Ack! You know, the only reason I'm not fighting back and knocking your ass into the next century is because you guys are finally bonding, right?
Xellos: [bonks her again]
Lina: [annoyed] You could bond just as well in full-body casts, in my opinion...
Xellos: I wouldn't need one, Lina-san. I heal too quickly.
Zelgadis: I wouldn't, either. Made of stone, remember?
Lina: Yeah. But a Dragon Slave *will* hurt.
Xellos: Irk.
Zelgadis: [winces] It might be worth it.
Xellos: [giggles]
Lina: [glares]

>[Finally the Stone drops from Aragorn's hands and rolls down the floor. Gandalf takes a cloth and uses it to cover the Palantír.]
>Merry: "Pippin!"
>Gandalf: "Fool of a Took!"

Yuusuke: Every time Gandalf says, "Fool of a Took!" take a sip.
Hiei: Any chance in getting Enma to give us alcohol in here?
Koenma: I'm sure it could be arranged.
Kuwa: Me and Urameshi have been thinking of bringing some.
Kurama: Hm... Maybe we could get some Makai proof...
Koenma: As long as you and Hiei are able to contain yourselves after being inebriated.
Hiei: [giggles] We'll try.
Kurama: [grins widely at Koenma]
Koenma: [shakes his head sadly]
Yuusuke: [chuckles]
Xellos: I wonder if it would be strong enough to affect me...
Lina: No harm in giving it a shot, right?
Hiei: [smirks] How about you, Zel?
Zelgadis: I. Er. Wouldn't know.
Kurama: [blinks] You don't know what?
Xellos: His ability to hold alcohol.
Hiei: [stares] You haven't had alcohol before?
Zelgadis: [sighs] Is it that hard to believe? I had better things on my mind, and losing my senses was not one of them.
Lina: Geez, Zel, even I've had ale and I'm younger than you!
Kurama: [softly, to Hiei] Giving him Makai liquor would probably be a bad idea for a first-time user, unless his physiology makes it harder for him to get drunk.
Hiei: [same, back] It might loosen his tongue, too...
Kurama: [same] That might not be a bad idea if I weren't worried about the repercussions of that.
Yuusuke: What are you guys talking about?
Both: [innocently] Nothing!
Zelgadis: Why do I doubt that?
Xellos: Because you're very intelligent, Zelgadis-san!
Lina: [whispers, mockingly] Won't 'doom him to you' eh? [pokes Xellos' side teasingly]
Xellos: [thwaps her with his staff, none too gently]
Lina: [falls over, knocked out]
Xellos: Oh my... Perhaps I hit Lina-san a bit too harshly this time...
Zelgadis: I'm tempted not to care, but she's so hard-headed that it's a bit odd.
Xellos: [nods] She's going to hurt me when she wakes up.
Zelgadis: Maybe she won't remember. Try telling her she dozed off or something.
Xellos: [makes an unsure whine] Or she might just kill me and save us both a lot of trouble.
Zelgadis: I doubt she could figure out how.
Xellos: [whines again] I never doubt Lina-san's abilities.
Hiei: [snickers]
Lina: [comes to] Huh...?
Xellos: Eep! [scrambles up and hides on Zel's other side]
Zelgadis: [rolls his eyes] Have a nice nap, Lina?
Lina: Huh? Nap?
Xellos: Eep!
Zelgadis: Yeah. A nap. You must have dozed off or something.
Lina: Oh... That's why my head hurts. Must've hit it when I fell.
Xellos: [pokes his head out from the cloak, so relieved he leans against Zel]
Zelgadis: [whispers] Told you so.
Xellos: [smiles shakily, same] Thank you. Normally you would have just let her pummel me...
Zelgadis: [rolls his eyes] Just sit down.
Xellos: [smiles brighter, does so]

>[Gandalf sees Pippin lying on the floor, his eyes open, staring into void. He hurries to the hobbit, pushing Merry aside.]

Koenma: [Gandalf] My Hobbit! Mine!
Yuusuke: More likely he's after the butt plug.
Koenma: [giggles]
Kuwa: Isn't Pippin always staring into void?
Hiei: [snorts]
Kurama: [softly] Thank you for not instigating.
Hiei: Huh?
Kurama: [grins slightly, softly] There was a time when you would use Kuwabara's riff as a way to jab at him...
Hiei: Oh. [shrugs, softly] Don't have the urge to.
Kurama: [smiles, same] Recent development? [hugs him]
Hiei: [kisses his neck, same] Developed over time, more likely. Don't get carried away, Imp. I'll still insult him every once in a while.
Kurama: [laughs softly] Still a development. [licks his ear]
Hiei: [hides his smile in Kurama's neck]
Kurama: [softly] You amaze me, Dragon.
Hiei: [same] Thank you.
Kurama: [same] For what?
Hiei: [same] Being amazed.
Kurama: [kisses him] Anyone who isn't amazed by you needs their head checked.
Hiei: [bashfully] But your opinion matters the most.
Kurama: [grins] Of course.
Hiei: [kisses him]
Kurama: [kisses back]
Yuusuke: [to Koenma] They still have cute moments.
Koenma: [nodnod]

>[The wizard takes Pippin's hand into his own and presses his other hand on the hobbit's forehead. He whispers something and strokes Pippin's cheek. Finally Pippin blinks his eyes. ]
>Gandalf: "Look at me."
>Pippin: "Gandalf! Forgive me!"

Yuusuke: [Pippin] I didn't mean to use the butt plug without you, I just got too excited--
Koenma: [Gandalf] Shush, my love.
Hiei: [annoyed] I know you two are into that sort of thing, but it's a bit squicky.
Yuusuke: It was a *joke*.
Kurama: [kisses Hiei] Dragon.
Hiei: [grumbles quietly]
Yuusuke: [to Koenma, softly] Sheesh. Sometimes I think he's got multiple personalities or something...
Koenma: [kisses him, softly] Don't let it bother you.
Yuusuke: [grumbles]
Koenma: [softly] We probably just interrupted a "moment."
Yuusuke: Humph.
Koenma: [sighs]
Kuwa: He's just mad that his joke was ruined.
Yuusuke: [mutters under his breath] Am not.
Kuwa: Are too.
Yuusuke: Detoo.
Kurama: Children? Stop.
Yuusuke: Yes Mommy. Oh, wait. That's Hiei.
Kurama: [holds Hiei back] Dragon!
Hiei: [settles for glaring] Hn.
Xellos: Want to borrow this? [holds up his staff]
Kurama: Don't offer, Xellos. We'd have an all-out brawl on our hands.
Zelgadis: Don't tempt him. He likes starting fights.
Xellos: [sheepishly] Sadistic nature and all.
Kurama: Hiei, calm down. Yuusuke, knock it off.
Both: [sigh]

>[Pippin is about to close his eyes again, but Gandalf won't let him.]
>Gandalf: "Look at me. What did you see?"

Yuusuke: London and France and Xellos' underpants.
Xellos: But I'm not--Er.
Zelgadis: Erk!
Yuusuke: [grins]
Xellos: Oh dear. I really need to stop making those slips...
Lina: Or make them more often.
Xellos: I doubt he's ready to hear any of them, let alone the ones that occasionally come out, Lina-san.
Zelgadis: [hesitantly] Hear what?
Xellos: [eyes wide with confusion] You want to know?
Zelgadis: [confused] Know what?
Xellos: ... Ask me later. Please, Zelgadis-san?
Zelgadis: [blinks] Er. Fine.

>Pippin: "...A tree...There was a white tree...in a courtyard of stone...It was dead."

Koenma: [Gandalf] Why?
Yuusuke: [Pippin] I killed it.
Hiei: [Merry] Tree killer!
Kurama: [Legolas] Get him!
Kuwa: [Treebeard] Charge!
Xellos: [Gimli] Lads, I don't think killin' a tree is somethin' to be so worked up about.
Kurama: [Legolas] Of course it is!!
Hiei: [Merry] Kill the heretics!
Lina and Zelgadis: [giggles]

>[A flash of the White Tree of Minas Tirith, burning.]
>Pippin: "The city was burning."
>Gandalf: "Minas Tirith? Is that what you saw?"
>Pippin: "I saw...I saw Him!"

Koenma: Voldemort?
Yuusuke: Vader?
Xellos: Shabranigdu-sama!
Hiei: Wha-?
Lina: [snorts] Our dark lord.
Zelgadis: Xellos was, ah, indirectly created by him.
Xellos: Technically you could say he was my grandfather.
Hiei: [snorts]
Xellos: Not that I feel much familial feelings in the connection.
Lina: I'd hope not.

>Pippin: "I could hear His voice in my head!"

Yuusuke: [Pippin] Doing a bad Chewbacca impersonation!
Hiei: That would suck.
Kurama: Ugh.
Yuusuke: Yeah. Think Sauron trying to do bad cosplay.
Kuwa: That would *so* be worse than the fat Faye Valentine guy.
Koenma: The one with the hairy legs and the visible butt crack? Ew.
Hiei: Ugh. I don't think much could be worse than that, though.
Kurama: Sailor Bob?
Hiei: Except for maybe that.
Kurama: [giggles] Maybe I should buy a sailor fuku...
Hiei: [immediately brightens]
Yuusuke: You two are so *weird*...
Hiei: [fondles Kurama]
Kurama: [gasps] Dragon!
Hiei: [grins] Imp?
Kurama: Wait until later.
Hiei: [snickers]

>Gandalf: "And what did you tell Him? Speak!"

Yuusuke: [Pippin] Where he could find a copy of that porno you and Saruman made a few years back.
Koenma: [Gandalf] Fool of a Took!
Hiei: Tool of a Fook works there also.
Xellos: Kinky.
Kurama: [snickers]

>Pippin: "...He asked me my name; I didn't answer."
>Pippin: "He hurt me!"

Hiei: [Gandalf] Did he touch you in your no-no spot?
Others: [laugh]
Hiei: [grins]
Kurama: [kisses him]

>Gandalf: "What did you tell Him about Frodo and the Ring?!"

Yuusuke: [Pippin] That Frodo uses it to--
Koenma: Yuu-chan.
Hiei: There should be a porno called Lord of the Cock Ring.
Kurama: [giggles]
Yuusuke: And it should star PJ as being perpetually screwed.
Xellos: [wrinkles his nose] I think I'll skip that one.
Hiei: [snickers]
Yuusuke: More interested in seeing a sweaty, dishevelled chimera, right?
Xellos: [blushes furiously]
Zelgadis: I don't think I want to know what you guys are talking about.
Yuusuke: Seeing him spread his legs, touching himself--
Xellos: --Eep!! [falls over]
Zelgadis: Definitely don't want to know.
Lina: Eep. Xellos, you might want to cover yourself...
Xellos: Irk. [puts the cloak over him completely, but stays on the floor]
Zelgadis: [blushes deeply]

>[The next day Gandalf is having a conversation with Théoden about the night's events. Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are also present.]

Yuusuke: The next day? The dark lord invaded Pippin's head, Frodo might have been revealed, and they wait *until the next day*??
Koenma: It would have interfered with the pipe weed.
Hiei: And the orgy.
Yuusuke: And whatever it is Xellos is doing on the floor.
Hiei: [snickers]
Xellos: [muffled] I'm not doing anything, Yuusuke-san.
Yuusuke: Right. I'd bet.
Xellos: [uncovers his head] I'm not ma--! Er. You know.
Lina: [looks a bit flustered] I don't want to think about it!
Xellos: But I wasn't!
Hiei: That's not going to change their minds.
Xellos: Ugh! [starts ranting in some foreign language, that's how frustrated and embarrassed he is]
Hiei: [snickers]
Zelgadis: [has his eyes closed and isn't listening to anyone]
Xellos: Why would I, anyway? It'll take a lot more to get me off than that pervert's attempts at teasing.
Yuusuke: No, but it sure got you riled up!
Xellos: [grumbles, gets up, sits down]
Yuusuke: Notice how he still keeps his waist covered.
Xellos: Why the obsession over my private parts, Yuusuke-san? Not getting any?
Yuusuke: [grins] I am, but you're not.
Xellos: Humph.
Yuusuke: [grins wider]
Zelgadis: [hesitantly pats Xellos' shoulder]
Xellos: [immediately startled out of his anger]
Lina: [giggles]

>Gandalf: "There was no lie in Pippin's eyes."
>Gandalf: "A fool...but an honest fool he remains."

Lina: Aww. It's love.
Hiei: [fake gags]

>[Farther away sits Pippin with Merry, looking remorseful.]
>Gandalf: "He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring."
>Gandalf: "We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the Palantír a glimpse of the enemy's plan."

Yuusuke: [Gandalf] To steal all the pipe weed in Middle Earth!
Hiei: And then get high so his munchies would starve humanity.
Yuusuke: Yup. Good times.
Kurama: [giggles]

>Gandalf: "Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Trirth. His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing: He knows the heir of Elendil has come forth."

Yuusuke: [Aragorn] And tonight the role of the heir of Elendil will be played by Captain Obvious while I go and, uh, hide.
Hiei: He's better at that, anyway.
Zelgadis: [is tempted to say something nasty about Xellos' habit of doing the same, but looks at him and stops himself]
Lina: [obliviously says it anyway] Kind of like Xellos.
Xellos: [sweat drops] At times I was not allowed to interfere...
Zelgadis: You did though. When we fought with Dark Star.
Xellos: [blushes] Yes... but as I said last night, I did get into trouble for that.
Lina: Last night, eh?
Zelgadis: [glares] What? We sleep in the same room. You think we won't talk to each other?
Lina: [giggles] Among other things.
Zelgadis: [blushes] It's not like that!
Xellos: [same] Just don't respond.
Lina: That won't help you.
Xellos: [offers Zel his staff] It actually helps.
Zelgadis: [blinks] She's just being childish and pushing her frustration on us.
Xellos: You sure?
Zelgadis: Yeah. Ignoring her is probably best. She might get bored and go look for something shiny.
Xellos: [laughs]
Lina: [stands] Zel!
Xellos: [stands to stop her] Now, Lina-san, he was only teasing...
Lina: [glares] That's not going to stop me from pummelling him!
Xellos: Would it help to know that earlier you didn't fall asleep and that I knocked you out?
Lina: [cracks her knuckles] No. Now I'm just going to hit both of you.
Xellos: Eep. [decides to go for broke and flashes her]
Lina: .... [speechless]
Zelgadis: [covers his eyes]
Lina: [turns red] XELLOS!
Xellos: I know. I really don't know what's come over me lately...
Lina: Grah! FIREBALL!
Xellos: [flies across the room, engulfed in flames]
Lina: [sends Zel flying after him]
Zelgadis: Itai...
Xellos: [still smoking a little] Zelgadis-san... No offense intended whatsoever, but you're a bit heavy... [his kilt is in ashes, so he puts his pants on]
Yuusuke: [calls over] Hey, Zelgadis, your boyfriend's pretty well-endowed, don't you think?
Zelgadis: HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! And I didn't see anything!
Xellos: [looks a little disappointed] I'm not a leper you know...
Zelgadis: [scowls]
Xellos: Though you think I'm worse than that. I'd forgotten... [disappears]
Zelgadis: [surprised] What the hell was that about?
Hiei: [snorts] We had a talk about this, Zelgadis.
Zelgadis: I didn't say anything!
Hiei: Exactly!
Zelgadis: [annoyed] What's that supposed to mean?
Kurama: It means you hurt Xellos' feelings by not saying anything.
Zelgadis: How am I supposed to know any of this?
Lina: Because you care about him!
Zelgadis: [angrily] You don't know anything, Lina.
Xellos' voice: Told you so, Lina-san.
Lina: Oh shut up. And get back in here!
Xellos' voice: I think... I'll go explore this world some more. It's so large and wondrous. Bye!
Zelgadis: [softly] If you think that teasing helps, you're just stupid.
Lina: Irk... Yeah, I guess I am. [feels really bad] Xellos! Come back! Come on! This is ridiculous!
Zelgadis: [sits down, shoves all his hair back]
Lina: Xellos!
Hiei: Give it up. He's gone.
Lina: [sighs] If I'd just left them alone like you said... Now I've probably ruined everything.
Zelgadis: [dejectedly] Yay. Can we go home now?
Lina: Shut up, jerk.
Zelgadis: [does]

>Gandalf: "Men are not as weak as He supposed; there is courage still. Strength enough perhaps to challenge Him. Sauron fears this."

Xellos: [reappears suddenly, licking an ice cream cone]
Lina: Xellos?!?
Xellos: I was going to explore the world, but I got distracted by a Dairy Queen. [sheepish grin]
Yuusuke: [softly, to Koenma] This is better than a soap opera.
Koenma: [is trying not to laugh] Worse--Buffy.
Xellos: I bought one for you, Hiei-san! [hands him another one, this one taller than his own and topped with a cherry and sprinkles]
Lina: [relieved, hugs Xellos] Thank god! I thought I chased you away!
Xellos: Lina-san...
Hiei: [inhales the ice cream] Mmmmm...
Kurama: [takes the cherry, ties the stem in a knot with his tongue]
Hiei: [grins widely] Tease.
Kurama: [smirks] You know it.
Xellos: Lina-san... You can let go now. I'm getting ice cream in your hair.
Lina: Er. Right! [sits back] He's all yours, Zel!
Zelgadis: [rubs his forehead] Nice job freaking Lina out.
Xellos: [offers him his ice cream] Want some?
Zelgadis: [shakes his head] Not hungry.
Xellos: [expression falls] Alright.
Zelgadis: [sighs, whispers] I don't think you're worse than a leper.
Xellos: [licks his ice cream quietly]
Zelgadis: [rubs his forehead tiredly]
Xellos: [hesitates, rubs it for him]
Zelgadis: [starts at the touch] I'm fine. Just a headache.
Xellos: [smiles] No reason to suffer then. [rubs]
Koenma: I brought some aspirin if you need it.
Zelgadis: ... Please.
Koenma: [hands it over]
Zelgadis: [swallows some] These must come in handy in here.
Koenma: Yeah, they do.

>[All the others are silent and listen as Gandalf continues.]

Kurama: Because the old coot had them gagged.
Hiei: With ball gags. And tied with leather straps.
Kurama: [giggles]
Hiei: [grins]
Kurama: [licks his nose]
Hiei: [giggles, gropes]
Kurama: [gasps]

>Gandalf: "He will not risk the peoples of Middle-Earth uniting under one banner."
>Gandalf: "He will raze Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees a King return to the throne of men."

Yuusuke: And Gandalf takes over as Captain Obvious.
Koenma: Which causes Legolas to go into a hissy fit.
Kurama: Poor Gandalf.
Hiei: [snickers]

>Gandalf: "If the Beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready for war."

Yuusuke and Koenma: [sing] War! What is it good for, absolutely nothing!
Hiei: [snorts] You did that at the beginning of Revenge of the Sith.
Yuusuke: It begged for it.
Kurama: Flamers can light them all the way from there.
Yuusuke: Exactly.
Hiei: They should just break out in "It's Raining Men" already.
Kurama: [giggles] I thought you didn't want them to sing.
Hiei: I was talking about the characters.
Kurama: [nods]

>Théoden: "Tell me, why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours?"

Yuusuke: Gandalf just got bitch slapped.
Hiei: [to Theoden] Because it's honorable?
Yuusuke: [Theoden] But I don't wanna!
Hiei: Not surprising.
Xellos: [quietly to Zel] Is it better?
Zelgadis: [nods]
Xellos: Oh! Nearly forgot. [waves a hand and Zel's cloak magically appears] Here.
Zelgadis: [nods, folds it] Thanks.
Xellos: You should wear black.
Zelgadis: [blinks] Eh?
Xellos: [cheerfully] I think you would look good. Not that you don't now... Er. [blushes slightly] That came out wrong.
Zelgadis: [flushes slightly] I prefer earth tones, to be honest
Xellos: Oh?
Zelgadis: [shrugs] They're easier to deal with. Stay looking clean.
Xellos: I see. Don't ever wear blue. You'll look like a smurf. Or a blueberry.
Zelgadis: [snickers] I know.
Xellos: I don't think I've seen you in anything other than that... Well, other than the time we all dressed as women. That was fun!
Zelgadis: [shakes his head]
Lina: Oh, come on, Zel. That was pretty fun.
Xellos: You did a horrible job on his make-up, Lina-san.
Lina: [grins] Well, it's hard to put makeup on someone with his complexion...
Zelgadis: Actually, that was Amelia.
Xellos: Oh... Right.
Lina: Still, my point stands.
Zelgadis: [sighs]
Xellos: I can do it for you next time!
Zelgadis: [blinks] Hopefully there won't be a next time.
Xellos: [thoughtful] You never can tell.
Zelgadis: [sighs] Well, you certainly can't do a worse job than Amelia.
Xellos: [smiles]

>[All are silent. Aragorn turns to look at Théoden.]
>Théoden: "What do we owe Gondor?"

Yuusuke: [Aragorn] Well, there's the last poker game...
Koenma: [Theoden] Besides that.
Hiei: [Gandalf] It was strip-poker, and they paid you.
Yuusuke: [Aragorn] Yeah. Good times.
Kurama: [Legolas] Slut.
Yuusuke: [Aragorn, leers] You know it.
Hiei: [Gimli] Back off, human!
Kurama: [Legolas] My savior!
Hiei: [Gimli; smirks] You know it.
Yuusuke: Hams.

>Aragorn: "I will go."
>Gandalf: "No!"

Yuusuke: [Gandalf] Don't leave meeeee!
Hiei: [snorts] We're the hams?
Kurama: [licks him] Mmm... I could eat you up...
Hiei: [shifts] Promise?
Kurama: [gasps, throatily] Oh, yes...
Hiei: [kisses him deeply]
Kurama: [returns the kiss]

>Aragorn: "They must be warned!"
>Gandalf: "They will be."

Yuusuke: [Gandalf] See, I have this dance routine...
Koenma: [Aragorn] ... That's what we're warning them about!
Xellos: [falls over laughing]
Hiei: That was random.
Lina: Hence why Xel thinks it's funny. At least this time we weren't flashed when he fell over.
Xellos: [blushes slightly]
Zelgadis: [blushes as he remembers]
Lina: [giggles]

>[Gandalf walks to where Aragorn is standing with Legolas and Gimli by his side.]
>Gandalf: "You must come to Minas Tirith by other road. Follow the river and look to the Black ships."

Yuusuke: [Aragorn] Sure. Take the quicker route. Jerk.
Hiei: Bet "black ships" is a euphemism.
Zelgadis: For what?
Hiei: [grins] Insert something appropriate. Black ships on water?
Zelgadis: [blinks, clueless]
Hiei: Gandalf must be into Minnesota Popsicles.
Zelgadis: [continues to blink]
Xellos: [whispers to him] Certain groups enjoy sexual acts with faecal matter.
Zelgadis: [stares at him] You're joking.
Xellos: Iya. Humans are odd.
Zelgadis: Sometimes I wonder why I want to be one again so badly...
Xellos: [nods] It is quite limiting.
Zelgadis: ... Did you mean what you said, about not reaching my full potential?
Xellos: [smiles] No one knows what your full potential is, Zelgadis-san.
Zelgadis: ... How would we go about figuring it out?
Xellos: [sweatdrops] It's a secret.
Zelgadis: [glares] Xellos...
Lina: Zel, you should know by now that he means he doesn't know.
Zelgadis: It wouldn't kill him to say so outright.
Xellos: [sweatdrops] Actually, it might.
Zelgadis: [blinks] How?
Xellos: A Mazoku's power depends almost entirely on their egos, yes? So admitting to something like that would be painful depending on how embarrassed one got.
Zelgadis: That's... weird.
Xellos: You might not be hindered in the same manner though.
Zelgadis: [snorts] If so I'd be dead by now.
Xellos: Indeed. [thoughtful] There... might be ways to figuring out your potential... I'm just not sure yet.
Zelgadis: [shrugs, then shakes his head] I don't even know why I'm considering it...
Xellos: [slightly disappointed] It would be interesting to figure out.
Zelgadis: Yeah, but there might be no going back.
Xellos: Would that be so terrible? You're still part human. And... you're more human that most humans I've ever known.
Zelgadis: [blinks] I don't know...
Xellos: [softly] If it means anything... I like you the way you are.
Zelgadis: [blushes] I... Thank you.
Xellos: [smiles happily]

>[Aragorn meets Gandalf's eyes before the wizard turns to face the others.]
>Gandalf: "Understand this: things are now in motion that cannot be undone. I ride for Minas Tirith..."
>[He turns to look at Pippin.]
>Gandalf: "...And I won't be going alone."

Hiei: [Gandalf] Need something for those lonely nights. The horse isn't too fond of that sort of thing...
Kurama: [throws his head back and laughs]
Hiei: [snickers]
Yuusuke: Ah, Horse-fucker. That takes me back...
Kuwa: Ew. To what?
Yuusuke: To Chibi-Usa.
Hiei: That's worse.
Yuusuke: [sweat drops] Is it over?
Hiei: [blinks] Looks like it.
Kurama: [smirks] Let's go then.
Hiei: [grins] Definitely!
Lina: [shakes her head] Can't wait for you two to start acting like that...
Xellos: [blushes] We wouldn't, Lina-san. Zelgadis-san and I have much more restraint.
Zelgadis: [chokes]
Xellos: Which doesn't mean that we're going to have a relationship, Lina-san.
Lina: Oh shut up. You know you want him.
Xellos: [thwacks her with his staff]
Lina: Yipe!
Zelgadis: [winces] The headache's coming back. Let's go back to Genkai's. Maybe she has something stronger than aspirin.
Xellos: [looks concerned again] Yes, let's.

- Ningenkai -

After taking a few more painkillers Zelgadis decided to go for a walk in the forest. His thoughts returned to the theatre, to everything that had happened today with Xellos. A part of him still did not want to believe that any of it had really happened.

Why did the stupid Mazoku have to seem so *kind*? he asked himself miserably. Like he actually cared…

He couldn’t believe it, or what Hiei had said the day before. Not yet.

Zelgadis rubbed his throbbing head. He hadn’t slept much the night before, for the very same reason he was out taking a walk now. What he really needed was a nap, but that would mean going back to the Temple, to where Lina, Genkai, Yukina, and most importantly Xellos, were.

He finally decided that a short nap under a tree wouldn't hurt and spread his folded cloak out to sit down. Maybe after a nap he'd be ready to face people.

He had just sat down, settling his sheathed blade into a comfortable position and closed his eyes, when from above he heard a hesitant voice ask, “Zelgadis-san?” which immediately made his head throb worse.

Zelgadis’ eyes snapped open, ready to snap at the Mazoku, when he saw him. Xellos was dangling upside down from the very tree he sat under, hair and cape pointed toward the ground and his eyes wide open in puzzlement. Obviously he had been wrong about the priest being at the Temple, he realized with a sigh.

“Don’t do that!” he finally snapped.

Xellos blinked. “Do what?”

“Surprise people.”

Xellos smiled sheepishly. “After all this time, it’s second nature, Zelgadis-san.”

Zelgadis sighed. He obviously wasn't going to get that nap...

“Your head still hurts doesn’t it?” Xellos asked.

Zelgadis glared up at him. “No thanks to you.”

For a moment, he swore he saw the Mazoku flinch. “Perhaps I can help.” He swung down from his perch, landing in a crouch and crawled until he was beside Zelgadis.

The Chimera blushed despite himself. “What are you doing?”

Instead of replying, Xellos just reached over and began to rub his head again, like in the theatre, only with both hands on either temple.

“Stop that,” he said firmly.

Xellos only looked at him pointedly. “It’s obviously not going to go away with medication, Zelgadis-san. If I’m really of no help after a few moments then I’ll leave you be.”

Zelgadis sighed. He supposed it was alright.

He was surprised that after a few moments, the pain in his head did become easier to bare, and that he felt less uncomfortable with the Mazoku sitting beside him. Zelgadis closed his eyes and sighed, letting his mind wander again. This was a perfect example of why Xellos was confusing him. With his actions and his words, he had always been an enigma, but now it was directly interfering with his life. He still wished things would go back to normal. The confusion was still too unbearable.

That’s when he remembered something and decided to ask, since Xellos just happened to be there. “What did you mean earlier, when you said to ask you what you meant later?”

The hands on him stopped and he opened his eyes. Xellos wasn’t looking at him, and if he didn’t know any better, Zelgadis would say he looked afraid.

“What I would say, if I allowed myself to?” Xellos asked.

“Yeah.”

Then, the priest did something that floored him, almost literally. Before he could react, since Xellos was supernaturally fast at the best of times, the purple-haired man leaned forward and kissed his lips chastely.

“That’s what I would say,” Xellos replied, and vanished immediately.

TBC.

That was a quick update, huh? XD