Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Enma's Torment Theatre ❯ Sweet Dreams Are Made of This ( Chapter 27 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Enma’s Torment Theatre: Season Two
Episode Twenty-Seven: Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
Story: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (script), Part Three
Msted by: Rose Thorne and Chrissy Sky


- Ningenkai -

Zelgadis was twisting in his sleep. Xellos could hear the shifting of the blankets as he moved around. He assumed that the Chimera was just having another fitful sleep, when the object of his current obsessions began to moan. Xellos wondered if it was just a nightmare, assumed it was in another moment, and had nearly finished convincing himself that he should see about comforting the human when he heard, “Xellos…” moaned softly.

To say the least, Xellos froze in shock, hardly even breathing.

He tried convincing himself that that could not have been what he’d heard, but it came again, this time on the wings of a whimper, followed by a sudden quiet.

Xellos didn’t dare to move. Zelgadis was awake.

Zelgadis sat up in bed, startled out of sleep by his dream. He stared down at the sheet covering him, thunderstruck. Then, mortified, he remembered that sometimes he talked in his sleep, or so Gourry had told him. He turned to where Xellos was sleeping on the other side of the room.

The Mazoku had his back to him but seemed to be asleep. He lay back down and attempted to go back to sleep himself.

Neither knew that they both laid awake for the rest of the night, unable to.

*

Yukina pinned up her hair as she walked into the kitchen, humming cheerfully to herself, some pop song she’d heard on Shizuru or Keiko’s radio a few times and was currently stuck in her head. She tried to get some other song playing on her internal track but the other one won out, sadly. Sighing, she began tying on her apron as she checked over her meals list on the refrigerator.

She and Lina Inverse had a system now. Lina would think carefully all evening what she wanted to eat the next day then write it down for Yukina to see in the morning. Otherwise, Yukina would end up making half a dozen meals before Lina finished making her orders. Yukina was kind, not a part-time waitress.

Genkai had been amused by the entire proceedings but permitted the three guests to stay. Yukina, herself, did not mind having new roommates, especially when they were such interesting people. Lina, she talked to the most, since Lina was naturally a very talkative person. Zelgadis was offsetting but easily touched when people did things for him, which had warmed Yukina up to him right away. Xellos, on the other hand, she still knew very little about. Other than a few ambiguous comments the so-called priest made from time to time, he was a total mystery. Oddly, this reminded her of her first perceptions of Kurama, only Xellos lacked the kind politeness the Youko had. Xellos was polite, just in a different way.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Yukina quickly began pulling things out of the refrigerator and over to the counter.

*

Lina yawned and nearly tripped over her long cape on the way into the dining room. It was unusually early for her; not even Genkai was up yet, though she assumed that the old woman was watching television or meditating, or something.

Instead of going straight to the table like usual, however, she stuck her head out the window and felt the cool morning breeze against her face, smiling as it rustled her hair.

The expression immediately faded and she sighed loudly. “Geez,” she said to herself sardonically. “That guy sure did become important to me, didn’t he?”

“That guy?” Yukina echoed, walking into the room, arms full of food trays.

Lina jumped clear off the floor. She noticed the food and immediately cheered up. “Yukina-chan! You’re a goddess!”

Yukina giggled and blushed, setting the plates around the table as her new friend scrambled onto the floor in front of the small table. “Lina-san, you’re really too kind. I don’t cook nearly *that* well.”

“Shush. I know food, and when I say it’s good, it’s good!”

Yukina giggled again. “Who were you talking about?”

Lina blushed sheepishly. “Oh, him. My partner, Gourry.” She scratched the back of her head. “It’s kind of hard to explain, but…”

“You love him,” Yukina said, smiling gently.

Lina blushed again. “No--well… yeah. Kinda.” She dropped her head onto the desk. “He’s a lot like your friend Kuwabara. Only a lot more dense. But they both have the same attitude about stuff.”

Yukina smiled. “Then your Gourry-san must miss you too.”

Lina grinned. “He’d better!”

Zelgadis had dozed for about half an hour in the early morning hours, his mind finally giving in to his body's demand for rest, but woke when he heard Lina tripping over her cape in the hallway. He sighed, wondering how he was going to get through the day with the jokes and Xellos himself after that dream. It was too humiliating.

He noticed, while folding his futon neatly that Xellos was already gone, and he was almost relieved for that. A blush crept to his face as he remembered the extreme pleasure in the dream, and he shook his head to clear it and rose, deciding to have breakfast--with Lina up it was inevitably being served--and go out to sit by himself and meditate, hopefully uninterrupted. Especially by certain Mazoku priests.

Who insisted on kissing him to avoid giving a real answer.

Zelgadis left the room he and Xellos shared and went to the dining area, hoping that Lina hadn't managed to eat everything already.

Lina was speed-eating again, her face only an inch away from her bowl of cereal. There were bananas, apples, and other random fruits surrounding her. She looked up at Zelgadis as he walked into the room, waving her milk-drenched spoon at him amiably. The shaman looked very tired this morning. "Hey, Zel! Where's Xellos? You two up late last night?" she teased with a wink.

Zelgadis glared at her, deciding not to respond to the last comment. It hit too close to his dream. "He's already up, apparently."

Lina blinked. "Huh? Then where is he?" Xellos always showed up for breakfast. It escaped her for a moment that, in the past, it would have been more unlikely for Xellos *not* to disappear randomly. Sticking to a routine should have been stranger. She'd taken it for granted.

Zelgadis blinked. "I figured he was out here." He shrugged. "I'm sure he'll show up at some point."

"Wouldn't count on that," Genkai said as she walked into the dining room, sitting at her usual seat at the head of the table. She had a note in her hand and a cigarette in the other. "Seems your boyfriend went on a vacation." She tossed the note onto the table for them to see.

Zelgadis glanced at it, reading aloud. "'Gone exploring. Back soon. Xellos.'" He wasn't sure why, but the bluntness of the note bothered him, like there was something left unsaid. For some reason, the wording was familiar, and not in a good way...

Lina blinked at the note, and then glared at Zelgadis. "What'd you do now? The last time he said that, it was in the theatre." Unless Xellos got distracted by sweets again, they might really not see him for a while...

Zelgadis frowned briefly before glaring back. "He disappears randomly. You know that. It's not my fault."

"Sure..."

"It's not!" Zelgadis took a breath to defend himself before realizing that she was unlikely to believe him anyway, and he didn't feel like arguing with a brick wall today. "Forget it." He sat down and poured himself a bowl of cereal.

- Reikai, Theatre -

[now, sitting from right to left: Lina, Zelgadis, Kurama, Hiei, Yuusuke, Koenma, Kuwabara]

Yuusuke: Whoa... Are we missing someone or is Hiei just in Kurama's lap again?
Hiei: Both.
Lina: Yeah, Xellos left a note saying he was going exploring. [glares at Zelgadis]
Hiei: What'd Zel do now?
Lina: You know, that's exactly what I asked...
Zelgadis: I didn't do anything! I don't know why everyone thinks I did!
Kurama: Perhaps he really didn't do anything.
Yuusuke: Yeah. But there aren't any coincidences, so... We're running to an obvious conclusion.
Zelgadis: [sighs] Think whatever you want. I give up.
Lina: I think something happened last night. Did he finally tell you how he felt?
Zelgadis: Leave me alone, Lina.
Kurama: Lina-san. Remember what happened last time?
Lina: Er. Right. Okay. Mst now!

>[In the next scene we are outside. Gandalf, followed by the two hobbits is making his way to the stables of Edoras.]
>Gandalf: "Of all the inquisitive hobbits, Peregrin Took, you are the worst! Hurry! Hurry!"

Yuusuke: [Gandalf] I want to get there before nightfall so we can have sex.
Koenma: [Pippin] We can't have sex on the horse?
Yuusuke: [Gandalf, sarcastic] Sure. We'll just climb into the convenient backseat!
Koenma: [giggles]
Lina: Wasn't there supposed to be beer with this?
Kurama: We, er, were going to bring it but...
Hiei: It was there last night. We drank it. Fun times.
Yuusuke: [throws back his head and laughs]
Lina: Awwww!
Koenma: Might have been interesting to see Zelgadis drunk though.
Hiei: There's always next time. Or you guys could bring it.
Koenma: True.
Yuusuke: We probably should have anyway.
Koenma: [giggles]
Zelgadis: I won't drink it, anyway.
Yuusuke: Don't knock it till you try it.
Zelgadis: I have no intention of becoming drunk.
Yuusuke: Sourpuss. It's a wonder Xellos likes you.
Zelgadis: [says nothing]

>[Merry follows Gandalf and Pippin runs behind him, trying to catch up with his friend, not really understanding what is going on.]
>Pippin: "Where are we going?"

Zelgadis: Hell.
Yuusuke: Nice to see you're bright and cheery today, Zel.
Zelgadis: Hanging around you people, why would I be?
Yuusuke: Gee. I feel loved.
Zelgadis: You're the one who likes making snide comments.
Yuusuke: [sheepish smile] Heh...
Zelgadis: [softly] For the record I don't particularly understand why he *would* like me.
Kurama: [smiles mysteriously] Because he sees something in you that you can't.
Zelgadis: [scowls]
Kurama: [pats his shoulder] I think you two need to actually *talk* to each other, for starters.
Zelgadis: I think all of you need to butt out, for starters.
Kurama: [shakes his head sadly]
Hiei: [softly] I think that may be for the best at the moment.
Kurama: [same] Yes.

>Merry: "Why did you look? Why do you always have to look!?"
>Pippin: "Don't know...I can't help it!"
>Merry: "You never can..."
>Pippin: "I'm sorry, all right!"

Kurama: [Merry] You'd make a great Pandora, Pippin.
Yuusuke: [snickers; Pippin] You're always so mean to me, Merry!
Kurama: [Merry] Only when you do stupid stuff, Pippin.
Hiei: [Gandalf] That would be always, Merry.
Kurama: [Merry] Oh. Right.
Kuwa: [snickers]

>[They stop and Merry turns to look at Pippin, a serious look on his face.]
>Pippin: "I won't do it again."

Kurama: [Merry] Like I haven't heard that before.
Hiei: As if there's a chance to have a next time.

>[Merry walks to Pippin, realizing the younger hobbit is totally unaware of things.]
>Merry: "Don't you understand?! The enemy thinks you have the Ring!"

Yuusuke: [Pippin] Yeah, but... Frodo wouldn't share.
Hiei: That would be an oh-shit moment.
Kurama: Gandalf has a better oh-shit face.
Hiei: Probably because Pippin always has a look of clueless stupidity.
Kurama: True.

>[Pippin stares at Merry, a frown on his face.]
>Merry: "He's going to be looking for you, Pip. They have to get you out of here."
>Pippin: "And y-you're coming with me?"

Yuusuke: [Merry] I think it's time we started our solo careers, Pip.
Hiei: [Merry] I prefer one without a vapid whore at my side.
Kurama: [Pippin] Sob.
Koenma: [Pippin] You're just mad because I never slept with you!
Hiei: [Merry] More like I'm RELIEVED that you didn't sleep with me.
Koenma: [Pippin] Bitch!
Hiei: [Merry] Whore!
Yuusuke: [Snape] Listen to you two, bickering like an old married couple... Or trailer park cousins on Springer.
Hiei: [Merry] He wishes.
Koenma: [Pippin] Please.
Hiei: [Merry] As if anyone doesn't know that you sleep around because I wasn't interested.
Koenma: [Pippin] You're just jealous because I got Boromir before you!
Hiei: [Merry] If you want to sleep with someone who needs Viagra to get anywhere, that's your issue.
Koenma: [falls over laughing] I quit.
Hiei: [grins] I win.
Kurama: [giggles]

>[Merry doesn't answer, just walks away.]
>Pippin: "Merry?"
>Merry: "Come on!"
>[We go inside the stables where Gandalf lifts Pippin up to sit on Shadowfax's back.]

Yuusuke: [Pippin] Oooo... Kinky!
Koenma: [Gandalf] I'm worried that you think so.
Kuwa: [Merry] He would.

>Pippin: "How far is Minas Tirith?"
>Gandalf: "Three day's ride as the Nazgûl flies."

Yuusuke: [Pippin] So that’s... how far?
Koenma: [Gandalf] It means your ass is going to be sore without sex.
Yuusuke: [Pippin] Not even a little sex?!
Koenma: [Gandalf] No. You don't deserve it right now.
Yuusuke: [Pippin] Not even if I put on the nipple clamps?
Koenma: [Gandalf] I'm tempted to gag you but I daresay you'd like it too much.
Yuusuke: [laughs]
Kuwa: Weirdos.
Yuusuke: Are we weirdos, K-chan?
Kuwa: No. The characters.
Yuusuke: Oh...

>[Pippin purses his nose at the long journey.]
>Gandalf: "And we better hope we don't have one of those on our tail..."

Hiei: There'd be a lot more than one.
Yuusuke: Yeah, they seem to be "into" Gandalf, if you know what I mean.
Kurama: Especially the Witch King.
Hiei: [snickers]
Koenma: They're too tall for Gandalf though.
Kuwa: Hate to point it out, but Gandalf's too tall for the hobbits...
Koenma: Doesn't really stop him though.
Yuusuke: Doesn't stop... Er. [glances at Hiei and Kurama] Never mind...
Hiei: [archly] Doesn't stop *who*?
Yuusuke: [thinks fast] Uh, Legolas and Gimli!
Hiei: [glares] Good.
Yuusuke: [giggles in relief]
Koenma: [pulls Yuusuke closer]
Yuusuke: [kisses him]

>[Merry comes forth and hands Pippin a pack.]
>Merry: "Here...Something for the road."
>Pippin: "The last of the Longbottom Leaf."

Koenma: [Pippin] I knew you loved me!
Hiei: [Merry, whispers to Gandalf] This ought to keep him quiet for most of the trip, and there's enough for you, too.
Kurama: [Gandalf, whispers to Merry] Thanks, honey.
Hiei: [kisses him]
Kurama: [moans]
Yuusuke: Somehow I don't think they're role playing anymore.
Koenma: Ditto.
Kuwa: They were in the first place?
Yuusuke: Well. Kurama doesn't normally call Hiei "honey"...
Kuwa: Yeah, he just has a library of other pet names.
Kurama: [sheepishly] This is true.
Hiei: You're not done yet. [pulls him in for another kiss]
Kurama: [giggles into kiss]

>Merry: "I know you've run out."
>Merry: "You smoke too much, Pip."

Hiei: [Merry] You crack whore.
Yuusuke: [Pippin] Well, I like the feeling. I don't have to think.
Hiei: [Merry] Pippin... you don't think *anyway*.
Kurama: [mildly] I didn't know we were done yet...
Hiei: [goes back to sucking on Kurama's neck]
Kurama: Mmm...
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Lina: I miss Xellos. Does anyone else miss him?
Yuusuke: Maybe he'll bring more ice cream when he comes back.
Lina: [glares at Zel] IF he comes back.
Zelgadis: [through his teeth] He'll come back.
Yuusuke: [grins] He has faith.
Zelgadis: [glares] No, I just know him. He always comes back.
Yuusuke: Sure.
Hiei: Kind of like a crush.
Zelgadis: [sighs]
Lina: [almost concerned] You okay, Zel?
Zelgadis: Like you care.
Lina: [annoyed] I *do*.
Zelgadis: You have a funny way of showing it.
Lina: [winces] I'm sorry, Zel...
Zelgadis: [softly] ... No, I am. I'm mad and taking it out on you.
Lina: [shakes her head] No, I shouldn't have been teasing and accusing.
Zelgadis: We're... both worried about him.
Lina: [blinks, then smiles] Okay.
Zelgadis: [glares] Don't let that go to your head.
Lina: [shakes her head] I'm just glad I'm not the only one.
Zelgadis: ... Where the hell *is* he?
Lina: [frowns] I don't know. Did he say anything?
Zelgadis: Not a thing, not since... [blushes]
Lina: [stares] Er, since what? Did you have a chat?
Zelgadis: Kind of.
Lina: ... What do you mean?
Zelgadis: [so only she can hear] I... I asked him what he'd meant, about what he couldn't say? Then he...
Lina: [same] ... Did he kiss you?
Zelgadis: [nods]
Lina: [stares] So he's giving you space... What are you going to do?
Zelgadis: ... I don't know. I've, well, never been in a situation like this before.
Lina: [nods] If you don't do anything, will you regret it later?
Zelgadis: I don't know... What should I do?
Lina: Go with your feelings, Zel. Don't let your brain think about it or you'll tear yourself down.
Zelgadis: [nods]

>Pippin: "B-but we'll see each other soon..."

Hiei: [Merry] God I hope not.
Kurama: [giggles]
Koenma: [Pippin] Sniff.
Kurama: [Gandalf] I'm sure we'll see you soon, Merry. [winks]
Hiei: [Merry] Sure. Whatever. You two leaving yet?
Kurama: [kisses Hiei's Jagan, Gandalf] What if I don't want to?
Hiei: [Merry; grins] Then I say make Aragorn take the dimwit.
Kuwa: [Aragorn] No thanks. I'd like to retain my sanity.
Kurama: [Gandalf] Well, someone has to take him.
Kuwa: [Aragorn] You've got the fastest horse around.
Lina: [Shadowfax] Hey...
Kuwa: [Aragorn] Sorry, but you have to carry the hobbit.
Lina: [Shadowfax] You can all just suck my furry ass.
Kuwa: [Aragorn] Sorry, Chibi-Usa is a Sailor Moon character.
Yuusuke: [falls over laughing]
Koenma: [amused] Nice of you to join us, Kuwabara.
Kuwa: Meh.

>[Merry glances at Gandalf, knowing how serious things actually are.]

Kuwa: Seriously deranged.
Kurama: Hey.
Hiei: The characters.
Kurama: Oh...
Hiei: And can we refrain from using the word "deranged"? It brings the sod to mind.
Kuwa: [frowns] Ack.
Zelgadis: Who?
Kurama: [winces] We were stuck on a satellite for a while as prisoners of a demon who wasn't too fond of us. He forced us to MST... psychologically troubling fanfiction.
Zelgadis: Oh...
Yuusuke: I kicked his ass though. No worries.
Hiei: [nods] But I'd still prefer not to reference it.
Kurama: [kisses his neck] Same.

>Pippin: "Won't we?"
>Merry: "I don't know."

Hiei: [Merry] I don't *want* to know either.
Kurama: You really don't like Pippin, do you?
Hiei: [shrugs] He's a moron.
Kurama: [giggles, kisses his cheek]
Hiei: [shifts, grinning]
Kurama: [gasps] Hiei!
Hiei: [innocently] Hm?
Kurama: [fondles him pointedly]
Hiei: [grins and kisses him]
Kurama: [giggles, deepens kiss]
Yuusuke: [whispers] There they go again.
Koenma: [blows in his ear]
Yuusuke: [leers] Wanting attention, are we?
Koenma: [blushes] Maaaybe.
Yuusuke: [kisses him]
Zelgadis: [watches both pairs contemplatively]
Lina: [smirks] Was it a nice kiss?
Zelgadis: [blushes and glares]
Lina: [giggles]
Zelgadis: [softly] Stop it, Lina.
Lina: Alright, alright.

>[Pippin stares at Merry, confused, as Gandalf gets up to sit behind him. Merry takes a few steps back, his voice weakened by the lump in his throat.]
>Merry: "I don't know what's going to happen..."

Hiei: [Merry] But I'm glad it's not going to happen with you.
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Kurama: [Gandalf] What about me?
Hiei: [Merry] Oh, I trust you'll come out okay. After all, you survived battling a Balrog.
Kurama: [Gandalf] I came back naked!
Hiei: [Merry] And you expect me to complain about that?
Kurama: [giggles; Gandalf] No, it was meant to give you something to think about before I left.
Hiei: [Merry] And something to anticipate, I reckon.
Kurama: [Gandalf] Yup!

>Pippin: "Merry!"
>Gandalf: "Run, Shadofax. Show us the meaning of haste."
>Pippin: "Merry!!!"

Hiei: [Merry] WHAT?! Oh right, you're leaving...
Yuusuke: [Pippin] Don't you care?
Hiei: [Merry] Yes. You're taking my wizard with you.
Yuusuke: [Pippin] That's mean, Merry!
Kurama: [Gandalf] Play nice, dear.
Hiei: [giggles]
Kuwa: You guys are weird.
Kurama: We know.

>[Shadowfax gallops out of the stables and Merry runs after them. He climbs up to a watchtower, Aragorn running after him.]
>Aragorn: "Merry!"

Hiei: [Merry] No, I won't screw you. Go away.
Koenma: [Aragorn] Damn it! First Legolas, now you. What's WRONG with you people??
Hiei: [Merry] The rugged, bloodied attraction wore off.
Koenma: [Aragorn] Aw, maaaan...

>[Merry watches as Gandalf and Pippin ride away.]
>[We go to a beautiful and tranquil forest and see the Elves on their way to the Grey Havens. The only sound on the background is the song of the birds and the light swish of the elven-robes. We see Arwen, sitting on Asfaloth's back.]

Kurama: Scene-stealing tramp.
Zelgadis: What's with them naming all the horses?
Yuusuke: They name their weapons too.
Zelgadis: Well, that's not as surprising, but do they even tell the names in the movie?
Yuusuke: Er. No.
Zelgadis: Then what's the point?
Yuusuke: Dunno. Fanboyishness?
Zelgadis: [shrugs]

>Elrond VO: "Take her by the safest road. A ship lays anchored in the Grey Havens; it waits to carry her across the Sea."
>Elrond VO: "The last journey of Arwen Undómiel."

Kurama: Yay! [claps]
Hiei: [giggles] Good riddance.
Yuusuke: Not that she actually leaves...
Hiei: We wish.
Kurama: [sighs sadly]
Hiei: No wonder Aragorn likes to whore himself out.
Kurama: [giggles]

>[The party of the elves moves on. No sounds are heard. Suddenly we see a little boy in a white shirt, appear from nowhere. He runs into the woods (almost in slow-motion).]

Yuusuke: That reminds me. Have you two decided when you're having yours yet?
Kurama: We're probably going to wait a bit, until things settle down.
Yuusuke: That's cool.
Koenma: It's not like there's a rush.
Hiei: We have a while.
Kurama: [nuzzles him] Yeah.
Yuusuke: That's cute.
Kuwa: You guys going to have a girl or boy, do you think?
Kurama: Boy.
Hiei: [at the same time] Girl.
Kurama: [grins] I don't care which.
Hiei: [frowns thoughtfully] If the Koorime thing holds out, it might end up being both.
Kurama: [grins wider] Twins?
Hiei: [nods] Probably...
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan] Is that bad?
Hiei: [blinks, shakes his head] No, just... thinking.
Kurama: About?
Hiei: [leans against him, softly] Whatever it is, I want them to have a... real childhood.
Kurama: [tightens his hold] They will. I promise.
Hiei: [smiles] I know. [leans his head against Kurama's chest]
Kurama: [rubs Hiei's back]

>[Arwen turns to look at the boy and before her eyes, opens a vision of a grey-haired Aragorn, running to the little boy who is Eldarion, their son. Aragorn takes Eldarion in his arms and spins him around, both are laughing.]

Kurama: Eldarion? Sounds like something from David Eddings' novels...
Hiei: [shrugs]
Kurama: [licks his Jagan]
Hiei: [gasps] Imp!
Kurama: [not even attempting to look innocent] Yes, Dragon?
Hiei: [starts sucking on his neck]
Kurama: [moans]
Zelgadis: Don't they ever get tired of that?
Yuusuke: [cheerfully] Nope. You'll understand someday.
Zelgadis: [grumbles]

>[Arwen watches this, tears forming in her eyes. Aragorn kisses his son who then turns his face in Arwen's direction, meeting her eyes. We see that Eldarion is carrying Evenstar around his neck.

Yuusuke: ... Does anyone else feel dirty after reading "Aragorn kisses his son"?
Koenma: Well, it doesn't say *where*...
Hiei: Stop it.
Yuusuke: [sweat drops] Sorry.
Hiei: [goes back to Kurama's neck]
Kurama: [smiles]

>[Eldarion continues to stare at his mother and finally a single tear rolls down Arwen's cheek and she closes her eyes.]
>[A flashback of Elrond in The Two Towers.]

Yuusuke and Kurama: No!!
Koenma: Guys, it's short.
Hiei: Doesn't matter.
Kurama: [groans softly]
Hiei: [shifts] Shall I distract you?
Kurama: [gasps] Please...
Hiei: [kisses him deeply]

>Elrond: "There is nothing for you here, only death."

Yuusuke: Liar!
Hiei: More like tease.
Kurama: Teasing isn't necessarily bad though, sometimes...
Hiei: True, but teasing us with the death of Arwen is bad.
Kurama: Very true. [licks his ear]
Hiei: [goes back to Kurama's throat]

>[Arwen opens her eyes again and the vision is gone. One of the elves (Figwit for fangirls) walks to Arwen.]
>Elf: "Lady Arwen, we cannot delay."

Yuusuke: God, not another one...
Hiei: Guess he has the wit of a fig.
Yuusuke: [snickers]

>[Without saying a word, Arwen makes Asfaloth turn back, intenting to return to Rivendell.]
>Elf: "My lady!"

Yuusuke: [Elf] Wait! You still owe me money! BITCH!
Koenma: [giggles]

>[In the next scene we see Arwen arrive in the now deserted Rivendell where her father sits alone, writing something with a quill. He turns and watches as Arwen throws her velvet robe to the ground and hurries to her father.]

Lina: Nice manners there, princess.
Kuwa: I wouldn't call her a princess.
Zelgadis: It's insulting to those who really *are*.
Lina: Yeah. Amelia could kick this chick's ass.
Yuusuke: She'd probably do a damned good job of it, too.
Lina: Hell yeah.
Zelgadis: I miss her...
Lina: I miss Gourry.
Zelgadis: Obviously.
Lina: [raspberries] And I miss Sylphiel, and Filia, and now Xellos.
Zelgadis: [looks away] Yeah.
Lina: [pats his head] But you're right. He'll be back.
Zelgadis: [nods]

>Arwen: "Tell me what you have seen!"
>Elrond: "Arwen!"

Yuusuke: Dr. Scott!
Koenma: Janet!
Kurama: Brad!
Kuwa: Rocky!
Hiei: Tamahome!
Kurama: [laughs]

>Arwen: "You have the gift of foresight, what did you see?"
>Elrond: "I looked into your future and I saw death."

Yuusuke: Yeah, and Anakin Skywalker was supposed to kill the Sith, not join them. Prophecies are shit.
Hiei: Admittedly, the prophecy was really about Luke, though.
Yuusuke: Point.
Koenma: [Qui-Gon] Oops. My bad.
Yuusuke: [giggles]

>Arwen: "There is also life."
>Arwen: "You saw there was a child. You saw my son."

Koenma: [Elrond] Fuck. Now she's never going away...
Yuusuke: [throws back his head and laughs]
Koenma: [sheepish] Well, it's what we were all thinking...
Hiei: Definitely.

>[Elrond turns his back at his daughter and leans against a railing and looks at the silent Rivendell.]
>Elrond: "That future is almost gone."

Kurama: Fucking tease... Stop it!
Hiei: [shifts]
Kurama: [gasps] Keep doing that.
Hiei: [moves again] You sure you want me to do it here?
Kurama: [blushes, stifles a moan] Well, it'd be distracting...
Hiei: [turns around to straddle Kurama] As much as Yuusuke might claim otherwise, I'm not an exhibitionist. [grins]
Kurama: [hides his face in Hiei's neck] It'd be funny to see their reactions though...
Hiei: [nibbles Kurama's ear] I know.

>Arwen: "But it is not lost!"
>[Elrond sits down, a dark expression on his face.]
>Elrond: "Nothing is certain."

Yuusuke: We know that, Yoda.
Hiei: He was so getting it on with Chewbacca.
Yuusuke: [falls over laughing]
Kuwa: Irk. No more Star Wars slash jokes...
Yuusuke: No! More!
Koenma: [mildly] Yeah, we haven't even gotten into Palpatine/Anakin ones yet...
Kuwa: Ewwww...
Kurama: Come on. He was so going orgasmic when Anakin turned...
Yuusuke: Well, after sleeping with Uncle Dookie for two years, can you blame him?
Kuwa: STOP!
Zelgadis: I felt a little sorry for Dooku. The moment he knew he was betrayed...
Hiei: What did he expect from the Dark Side?
Zelgadis: Probably not *that*.
Yuusuke: I don't like Dooku.
Kurama: [smirks] Because he said that Qui-Gon would have joined him.
Yuusuke: It started all those nasty rumors about him being the one who asked for the clones. Maverick and evil aren't the same thing.
Hiei: [shrugs] Dooku was an idiot.
Yuusuke: Exactly.

>[Arwen kneels before her father]
>Arwen: "Some things are certain."
>Arwen: "If I leave him now, I will regret it forever."
>Arwen: "It is time."

Kurama: [sings softly] Let's do the time warp again...
Hiei: [grins] Let's do the pelvic thrust.
Kurama: [grins] Now?
Hiei: [blushes] Nympho.
Kurama: [kisses his cheek] Sorry.
Hiei: [kisses him] Later.
Kurama: [smiles] I know.
Yuusuke: You two are like rabbits sometimes.
Kurama: [blushes] I know *that* too...
Hiei: [leers] I like eating rabbit.
Kurama: [chuckles] Is that so?
Hiei: [gropes him] Yeah.
Kurama: [moans]
Yuusuke: [shakes his head in amusement]
Lina: They make me wonder how Zel and Xel are going to behave...
Zel: Shut up, Lina.
Lina: [giggles] Alright, alright.
Zel: Want me to make a comment about you and Gourry?
Lina: [sighs] I'll stop, okay? Happy now?
Zelgadis: Yes.

>[We see a hooded Arwen, walking to the Shards of Narsil.]
>Arwen VO: "From the ashes of fire shall be woken, a light from the shadow shall spring, renewed shall be Blade that was broken."

Hiei: [yawns] Bor-ring.
Kurama: Mm. [rests his head on Hiei's shoulder, closing his eyes]
Hiei: [smiles and kisses his temple]
Kurama: [makes a contented noise]

>[A shot of Isildur cutting the Ring from Sauron's hand.]

Yuusuke: It's sad when the movie rehashes more than I do.
Koenma: [giggles]

>Arwen VO: "The crownless again shall be King."

Kurama: [sleepily] Dumb cryptic talk...
Hiei: [pets his hair]
Yuusuke: Wear him out, Hiei?
Hiei: [grins]
Yuusuke: Good job.
Hiei: [smirks]

>Arwen: "Re-forge the Sword...Ada." ['Ada' = 'Father']

Yuusuke: Look, ma, subtitles!
Hiei: [yawns]
Kurama: [sleepily] Is it over yet?
Hiei: [kisses him] Not yet.
Kurama: Damn. [goes back to resting]
Hiei: [leans against him contentedly]

>[Elrond turns away and we see Arwen sit down on a bed, holding a book in her hands, her breathing suddenly loud. She stares as the book in her hands drops to the ground.]
>[Elrond walks to his daughter and picks up the book. He takes Arwen's hands into his own.]

Yuusuke: Question. What's with the book?
Hiei: Probably some stupid random thing.
Lina: [Arwen] Look, Papa, I can read!
Koenma: [Elrond] That's nice, dear. Where did I leave the rat poison...?
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Hiei: She probably wouldn't die.
Kurama: [muffled] Need something stronger. Elf kryptonite...
Yuusuke: Wasn't there something that worked like that...?
Kurama: Eh?
Yuusuke: Elf kryptonite?
Kurama: Dunno. Was there?
Yuusuke: I thought so, but I don't remember.
Kurama: Mm. [closes his eyes again]

>Elrond: "Your hands are cold."
>Elrond: "The life of the Eldar is leaving you."

Yuusuke: There he goes, teasing us again.
Kurama: [sleepily] Jerk.
Hiei: [plays with his hair] Should die.
Kurama: How much more do we have, do you think?
Botan's voice: Not much longer. Hang in there, guys!
Yuusuke: Good.
Kurama: Do I have to?
Hiei: Hm?
Kurama: Hang in there.
Hiei: [kisses him] Yes.
Kurama: [smiles tiredly] As you wish.

>[Arwen and her father look at each other.]
>Arwen: "This was my choice."

Lina: [Arwen] Really. It's not the drugs talking.
Hiei: I doubt she's capable of making a sane choice.
Kurama: [muffled] Here here.
Yuusuke: Even *with* drugs.
Zelgadis: You people really don't like her, do you?
Koenma: Nope.
Kuwa: Maybe the book version, but this one's all Mary Sue.
Zelgadis: I see.
Hiei: It's true. Maybe Yuusuke can loan you the books.
Yuusuke: Xellos has read them!
Lina: He borrowed them from you?
Yuusuke: No... He has his own, I guess.
Lina: [blinks] Oh.
Yuusuke: He said he likes The Hobbit better though.
Hiei: [snorts] Not surprising.
Yuusuke: Nope. Zel, maybe he'll let you borrow his!
Zelgadis: He's not around to loan them to me.
Yuusuke: Well, when he gets back...
Lina: We're not exactly sure when he's coming back.
Yuusuke: Oh... That sucks.
Zelgadis: [shrugs] He does this regularly.
Lina: [pokes him] Stop pretending not to care.
Yuusuke: He'll be back though. He always comes back. Besides, now he has an incentive!
Zelgadis: [glares at Lina] What's that?
Lina: [grins] You, silly.
Zelgadis: [doesn't respond]
Lina: [puts her arm around him] It's okay, you know.
Zelgadis: Leave me alone, Lina.
Lina: [sighs] I try to be nice, and I'm shunned. Now I know how Xellos feels...
Zelgadis: Lina, just drop it.
Lina: Okay!

>[Elrond has tears in his eyes as Arwen continues.]

Yuusuke: Yeah, her acting makes me wanna cry too.
Hiei: Or just the sound of her voice.
Kurama: Both.
Koenma: Yeah.

>Arwen: "Ada, whether by your will or not, there is no ship now that can bear me hence."

Kurama: None big enough for her ego, I guess...
Hiei: [nods]
Kurama: Can we go home yet?
Hiei: Soon.
Kurama: Good.
Hiei: [kisses him gently]

>[We see Elrond walking in the nightly Rivendell as the Andúril is being made. From the shards of Narsil, two elves forge the Flame of the West.]

Yuusuke: And there was much rejoicing.
Kurama: [unenthusiastically] Yay.
Hiei: Yawn.
Kurama: Bed now?
Hiei: When we get home. Nap.
Kurama: [smiles sleepily] Good. [stands, stretches and yawns]
Yuusuke: Yay!
Kuwa: It's done?
Koenma: I think Kurama's gonna leave regardless.
Zelgadis: So am I.
Lina: Hey, wait up!

- Ningenkai -

Back at Genkai’s temple, Zelgadis managed to lose Lina as she took interest in some television program the old woman was watching. Feeling rather tired himself; he walked into his bedroom and quietly shut the door.

He immediately stopped where he was at the sight of four books lying in the middle of the floor. Walking closer, the shaman crouched down to see the titles--The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King, and The Hobbit.

Zelgadis looked around the room but no one was there. Yet there was only one person who could have done this.

Smiling, Zelgadis ran a hand through his wire hair in frustration. “Bastard.”

*

Later that afternoon, Zelgadis was trying to read the Fellowship, when Lina drew his attention to the television as she turned up the volume. Before he could shout at her, though, he began to listen to what the male reporter was saying.

“… and the swimmers rushed out of the water, back to the beach. In the commotion a riot was started and three people have been sent to the hospital with minor injuries. The shark, as it turns out, was really a boy wearing this toy fin.”

Here the reporter held up a gray plastic fin.

Lina boggled. “Shit. That kid is in SO much trouble!” she sniggered.

“Shh,” said Zelgadis, now curious. Something about this story was drawing his attention. It didn’t sound familiar, but at the same time it reminded him of something.

Behind the reporter people were walking along the beach, some of them still too paranoid to get back into the water. A police officer was scolding the little boy off to the side, but it was hard to hear what they were saying over the reporter. Suddenly the camera weaved and followed the excited correspondent as he walked through the crowd, to a certain purple-haired individual sitting in a pullout chair. He wore lavender swimming trunks and a pair of expensive sunglasses.

Lina, Zelgadis, and Genkai gaped. Yukina blinked in confusion, before giggling.

“Sir,” said the reporter. “You’re the only person who’s remained calm throughout the whole ordeal. Why is that?”

Xellos sipped his pina colada and smiled. “Why, because I was the one who gave the boy that fin, of course!”

Then, just like that, the trickster got up and left. The police were called over, but he was already long gone.

It started as a snicker. Eventually, much to Lina’s astonishment, Zelgadis was rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter.

TBC.

Chrissy: It’s my birthday today! I’m the ripe old age of 20. XD

Xellos will be back next chapter. They just need space.

Rose is going to England and wont be back till August, but I’m going to try to do at least two while she’s gone on my own. But only because Kaylbunny begged so nicely. XD