Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Internet Romance ❯ The Internet Can Be Very useful ( Chapter 2 )

Internet Romance

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, and that's all there is to it. Any questions from the peanut gallery...? No...didn't think so. Enjoy.

Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note: Read the note at the end people...oh and review to make me happy. Merry Christmas to those who reviewed...and Bah Humbug to those who didn't. *sticks tongue out* You get coal in your stockings.

Chapter 2: The Internet Can Be Very Useful

Yusuke woke up, grumbling and muttering about lack of sleep. He looked blearily at his bedside alarm clock and growled as he saw the numbers in bright green. 2:33 a.m. Great another night of lost sleep. Why won't the nightmares leave me alone?

This wasn't the first time Yusuke woke up in the middle of the night. Ever since Keiko's death, Yusuke had yet to get a full night's sleep. He woke up from nightmares or from the feeling that someone was watching him. Always, he woke up with the continuing feelings of guilt and depression.

Yusuke rolled over and tossed an arm over his eyes to block out the street light. Might as well get up, I'm not going to get much more sleep anyway. I never can get back to sleep after I wake up. He rolled out of his bed and shuffled to his computer, turning it on. While he waited for it to load, he walked to his kitchen and made a pot of coffee. After pouring himself a mug, he returned to his room and logged onto the Internet, immediately logging into his AIM screen name.

Yusuke quickly scanned the chat rooms available, trying to find someone to talk to, when a familiar screen name sent him a message.

KissedRoses: hey,

Blacknight21: morning

KissedRoses: wut are u doing up so early?

Blacknight21: cant sleep

KissedRoses: wuts up??

Blacknight21: nightmares...ever since she died

KissedRoses: recurring...

Blacknight21: yea, i havent slept a full night since it happened

KissedRoses: have you tried sleeping pills??

Blacknight21: yea, nothing seems to help, i'm thinking of getting my friend to make an herbal remedy

KissedRoses: makes sense, if that doesnt work, maybe i could help u

Blacknight21: i'd appreciate it, its been hard keeping a semi-normal mask up, u kno

KissedRoses: yea, i do. death definitely hurts those effected by it, but time heals all wounds, yea?

Blacknight21: yea, but sometimes it seems that time has stopped

KissedRoses: time stops for no man, but that doesnt mean it doesnt move slower

Blacknight21: y cant things just be back to normal, y cant i be normal?

KissedRoses: u are normal, the definition of normal is a set of habits, occurances, or a routine taken and done daily over a long period of time. you are normal for who u are. you may not be normal by some1 else's standards, but u are normal

Blacknight21: are u going to major in philosophy, cuz that was deep

KissedRoses: *smile* the definition is the truth, i've looked it up before.

Blacknight21: whatever u say,

KissedRoses: its true no matter what

Blacknight21: but still, *frowns* y cant i be who i used to be. i want everything to go back 2 the way it used to be

KissedRoses: u cant rewind time, dont spend your life wishing to redo something when u could be happy in the present. never live in the past.

FireDevil: hey Night, what r u doing up??

Blacknight21: cant sleep, hang on..

FireDevil: k

Private chat #14305570724 has been opened

KissedRoses has entered private chat #14305570724

FireDevil has entered private chat #14305570724

Blacknight21: hey again

KissedRoses: yo Devil

FireDevil: morning

Blacknight21: pleaz refrain from fighting...its way too early *yawns*

KissedRoses: *nods* i'm not conscious enough to fight

FireDevil: agreed *big yawn* wut r u guys doing up this early

Blacknight21: i couldnt sleep, nightmares keep me up nightly

FireDevil: that sux, wut bout u Roses

KissedRoses: *shrugs and muffles a yawn* i dont really know, i just couldnt sleep for some reason

FireDevil: *nods* i get that

Blacknight21: y are u up then Devil??

FireDevil: couldnt sleep, i woke up for no reason

Blacknight21: *yawns* hang on gotta get coffee *leaves to refill cup*

FireDevil: so y couldnt u sleep again

KissedRoses: i guess i have 2 much on my mind u know

FireDevil: thinking about??

KissedRoses: my friends, i hope they can get along. i hate seeing them fight, it really hurts me

FireDevil: have u told them that??

KissedRoses: no

FireDevil: then how are they supposed to kno it bothers u??

KissedRoses: they're not, i want them getting along because they want to, not because of me

FireDevil: but thats stupid, if it hurts u to hear them fight, u shouldnt have to deal with it, u kno.

KissedRoses: yea, but i dont want to interfere with their issues

FireDevil: u should if it bothers u

KissedRoses: and if it bothers them that it bothers me, then wut?

FireDevil: then i guess u all have to work things out,

Blacknight21: hey *sitting back down* i'm back

FireDevil: thats nice....just try telling them how u feel

Blacknight21: are we back on who we like and why we're not telling them

FireDevil: no, i'm just telling Roses that he should tell his friends not to fight.

Blacknight21: thats obvious, if it hurts u to hear them, u shouldnt have to hear them

KissedRoses: wut is this...an ambush...look i just dont want to hurt either of them, i care too much about them, u should kno that

Blacknight21: tru, but if its hurting u, do u think u should have to deal with it?

FireDevil: if they knew, do u think they would fight?? do u think they would purposely cause u pain??

Blacknight21: if they're gonna fight and cause u pain...and know about it, then they're not real friends

Blacknight21: heh *smirk* ironic...that's pretty much the situation i have here, u kno

KissedRoses: *sighs* well, i'm pretty sure that 1 of them would care if i was being hurt, but the other i'm not sure about

Blacknight21: i think u should just tell them

FireDevil: yep

KissedRoses: someday i might, but until then, i'll just live with it

Blacknight21: u shouldnt have to, but it's your life

FireDevil: we cant tell u wut to do, just advise...*blinks* we've known each other for less than a day, and yet, we seem to be able to talk about anything and everything concerning our lives

Blacknight21: except our names

FireDevil: *nods* except our names

KissedRoses: truthfully, i just feel like i can trust u guys

Blacknight21: we met in a depression chat room, meaning we all have issues and all need to talk about them...and we all have something in common...hidden love

KissedRoses: yea, kinda...

FireDevil: its strange...we all met by chance and now, we all have met 2 guys we can talk to, really talk to

Blacknight21: its helping me already, really it is.

KissedRoses: i'm glad, and its helping me 2, even if i dont think i'm ready to tell them, i'm glad i've gotten it off my shoulders finally

FireDevil: i know i'm not ready, but this has helped me see some options that are open, and i'm glad this has helped u 2 to.

Blacknight21: we've grown close in the past 24 hours...its amazing, kinda like with my friend, we hit it off immediately, even though we were supposed to be enemies...i saw his eyes and knew i could trust him...immediately, i knew we'd be friends no matter wut

KissedRoses: thats deep rite there

FireDevil: *nods* dont lose that friendship, and if u ever get the courage, tell him how u feel, if u realize that u do love him

Blacknight21: i promise i will someday, if i get the courage...and hopefully it wont be too late...the same goes to both of u, got it?

FireDevil: *nods* agreed, someday i'll tell him

KissedRoses: *nods* i promise 2, i'll tell them 1 day

Blacknight21: its done then, all agreed...it cant be taken back, got it

FireDevil: wuts there to talk about at 3 in the morning

Blacknight21: not 2 much, u kno

KissedRoses: yea, i think we kno,

Blacknight21: *yawns* srry if i'm keeping u guys up, but whenever i have the nightmare, i never can get back to sleep

KissedRoses: thats ok, i cant get back to sleep now anyway, 2 early or 2 late, whichever it is

FireDevil: same here...i guess it doesnt matter tho does it??

Blacknight21: not really

KissedRoses: if u dont mind, can u tell us about the nitemare, it might make u feel better

Blacknight21: i dont mind, i guess no 1's asked about it so i didnt really have to tell any1

FireDevil: u dont have to tell us if u dont want to, if its 2 personal

Blacknight21: i dont mind...it all just starts with us together, walking in the park and talking about me and who i like.

Blacknight21: *sad voice, deep in thought, going back into the memories* she loved going to the park, u kno, it made her feel calm and peaceful...made me feel the same when i was with her...

Blacknight21: then for no reason i turn to her...and kill her

FireDevil: wut??? but that doesnt make any sense...

Blacknight21: its just wut happens...i stand over her body and just laugh, like nothing happened...everytime i wake up almost screaming

FireDevil: thats really a nitemare u shouldnt have

KissedRoses: it shows a sense of subconscious guilt

Blacknight21: the guilt isnt subconscious...every second i have to live with it

FireDevil: ??

KissedRoses: ??

Blacknight21: i see her death when i wake up, before i go to bed, when i sleep...i was there when it happened...i should have been the 1 to die...but i wasnt, and she paid for it with her life...i should have been the 1 to die, not her.

Blacknight21: my guilt isnt in my subconscious, its with me every second of everyday, no matter what i do, it stays with me, follows me...haunts me

FireDevil: stop that, stop that now

FireDevil: unless u killed her yourself, your not to blame for her death

FireDevil: dont live your life blaming yourself for wut couldnt be helped

Blacknight21: but it could have been helped...if she hadnt ever known me, nothing would have happened...it really is my fault, even if i didnt kill her outrite, i still killed her by knowing her

KissedRoses: *soft voice* your killing yourself...your guilt is eating u alive inside

Blacknight21: i kno that, believe me, i kno it...the pain is killing me, but i cant do anything about it...i have to live with the knowledge that she is dead and i'm alive...and its my fault...the pain, u kno nothing about it

KissedRoses: i do kno the pain, i've gone through it...once a long time ago, i went through it

Blacknight21: a long time ago...that means u were 2 young to really kno anything about it, u didnt have to go through wut i have to

FireDevil: *angry voice* stop blaming yourself...u think she would have wanted u to throw away your life to guilt and sorrow...u think she would want to see u in this much pain...if she and u were as close as u've said, then i think she'd want u to live your life in happiness...she'd want u to remember the fun u 2 had together, and cherish her memory, but i dont think she'd want u to wallow in self pity and guilt, killing yourself day by day with all this

KissedRoses: Devil is rite, u have to try and move on, think about wuts good in your life now...in the present, not the past...cherish your yesterdays dream your tomorrows, but LIVE your todays...thats all u can do now....wishing to change the past only causes more pain...unneeded pain thats going to kill u...think about love

Blacknight21: love isnt real to me anymore...the one person i DO love hates me...i dont kno y i fell for him but i did...

Blacknight21: *thoughtful silence* no, i do kno y i fell for him....he's everything i'm not...he's stronger, he's faster...he's all around perfect...but i didnt like him for his perfection...but for wut he did to me...he made me try to be better, he made me push myself to be everything and more...he doesnt kno how much it hurts me to see him and not be able to hold him, not be able to tell him how i feel...it hurts...just like the guilt...my life doesnt mean much right now...cant u see that i dont have much to live for

KissedRoses: u may not have much, but wut u do have is worth it

FireDevil: dont throw everything away because 1 guy cant see u for who u are...dont give up because everything seems hopeless...thats when u should look harder and find something to fight for....something to live for

Blacknight21: there is nothing

FireDevil: nothing...? u say u have nothing to live for...? this guy u love..and your friend...what about them? what about your family and friends who would miss u...would u put them through the pain of losing u as well as your friend...they're going through the same things...lean on them...trust them with your feelings...if they really are true friends, they wont care about anything but the fact that your u

FireDevil: dont let depression rule your life

KissedRoses: he's rite u kno...u have your friends, your family...and u have us...you may not kno who we really are, but we do kno that we're alike...tell us your problems, and we'll listen...tell us your sadness, and we'll make u smile...tell us who u love and wut he's like, and we'll be there to tell u that he doesnt deserve to have your love...

KissedRoses: dont give up on us now...not when we just met...not when we are here for u

FireDevil: if u even think about giving up..i'll hunt u down and knock some sense into u...

Blacknight21: *small sad smile* u kno...life doesnt seem so hopeless when u have some1 to talk to

FireDevil: yea, we kno, believe me when i say i've been there before...life isnt as hopeless as it seems...

FireDevil: before i met him...i hated the world and every1 in it...i was willing to kill to try and ease the pain...he taught me how to feel again...he taught me wut happiness really is...now i kno that the world isnt the worst thing around...giving up is

KissedRoses: before i met them, i was about to give my life up...suicide seemed like a good way to get out of everything

Blacknight21: u were going to commit suicide??

KissedRoses: yes, but then i met him...i knew i liked him when i saw him...i knew my life couldnt end until i knew who he was...after i met him, i was still going to do it...i felt he would never care about me, so y hang around...

FireDevil: and...wut happened

KissedRoses: he stopped me...he found me just as i tried and saved me...almost died in the process 2 though...i never have forgiven him for almost getting himself killed for me...but there have been other times when he's been in near death situations....and he hasnt died yet

Blacknight21: sounds a lot like me

FireDevil: u arent going to find a near death situation and then make it a real death situation are u??

Blacknight21: no, at least not now...i dont think i could put my friends and family through all this again...and besides...i still have to figure out who u guys are first

FireDevil: then i'll make sure u dont find out who i am so u cant die

KissedRoses: dido...i cant have 1 of my new friends and accomplices in crime disappear on me now can i??

Blacknight21: crime????

KissedRoses: *laughs* never mind

FireDevil: i dont think i wanna kno

Blacknight21: well i do...i'm willing to stick around if u guys do

FireDevil: i think i'll hang around awhile...just to see where it takes me

KissedRoses: yea, me 2...u never kno when an adventure will come running to get ya

Blacknight21: dont i kno it

FireDevil: dido...only 2 well

Blacknight21: well it's almost 4 in the morning...i think i'm gonna try and get some sleep...i'll just see if i can

FireDevil: yea, maybe drowsiness will come after me after all

KissedRoses: *yawns* agreed...so i'll talk to u guys later..

Blacknight21: yea, u never kno when i'll pop up...peace out

Blacknight21 has left the chat room

FireDevil: see ya Roses...

KissedRoses: nite Devil

FireDevil has left the chat room

KissedRoses has left the chat room

Yusuke sighed and got up, turning off his computer and heading back to his bed. He lay there facing the ceiling, staring out into nothing, and yet, thinking about everything. Kurama. Hiei. Keiko. Roses. Devil. Thoughts raced through his mind, playing tag. All were trying to get him to listen to them. There was something he was missing. Something he didn't quite get. It was right there in front of him to notice, right there to see, but try as he might, he couldn't figure it out. He sighed and rolled out of bed. He dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. Looking through his closet, he pulled on a navy blue sweatshirt and then pulled on his tennis shoes. He was going for a walk, hopefully to clear his mind, and to figure out what he seemingly couldn't.

It was still before dawn, but the birds were already awake. Most were chirping and singing to Yusuke as he made his way down his street. He shook his head and jogged off to the park. He needed somewhere to think. Somewhere away from everyone else.

He sat near a small pond in the most secluded part of the park. Hardly anyone knew about this place. As far as he knew, only he and Keiko had known. Now it was just him. He glanced in the water and stared at his reflection, noticing the consuming sadness that filled his gaze. His eyes that had once been a rich hazel, were now deep brown colored in grief. Ever since Keiko's death, they had been darkened in a sadness that couldn't be removed. Now that he thought about it, his eyes had looked that way for longer than he thought. It's been because of my secret...I've been sad ever since I figured it out, and before then, because I couldn't find my happiness with Keiko.

Yusuke's eyes shot up from his reflection as he felt someone trying to pry into his mind. His gaze quickly scanned the trees surrounding the small pond and he easily located the small fire demon. He continued thinking, knowing the fire demon could read his thoughts only when he allowed it or when his defenses were down. For his purpose, he allowed Hiei to slip past his barriers and into the hidden recesses of his mind, but only allowed him to read certain things he was thinking.

Why can't everyone just understand? I didn't love her and she didn't love me. We were brother and sister, that's all. I'm in love with someone else. I really am. Why can't I just admit it? I love... "Stay out of my mind Hiei," Yusuke said, appearing behind the smaller fire demon and whispering in his ear at the same time.

The fire demon jumped and lost his balance. He toppled off the tree branch and was saved only by Yusuke's quick catch.

Yusuke was flat out on his stomach on the branch with his legs wrapped around the limb and one arm reaching down and holding onto Hiei. "You really must be more careful Hiei," Yusuke said with a smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Hiei glared up and tried to pull lose, but only managed to look extremely flustered when he realized Yusuke had no intention of letting him go. "Let go Yusuke, I have more important things to do than stay here."

"Then why were you just reading my mind? And I have no intention of letting you go. By the way, you do know that the only way you can read my mind is when I let you, right?"

Hiei's glare intensified. "How is it that you're the only person I can't read? And PULL ME UP RIGHT NOW!!!!"

"You know very well that I'm more powerful than you are. And one of my more useful powers gives me the ability to block mind readers. Try it if you want, you won't get very far. And I'll only pull you up if you promise not to run off and disappear like you usually do."

Hiei concentrated for a second, trying to read Yusuke and then growled. "I hate you. Now pull me up or else!"

Because Hiei was too busy trying to get loose, he missed the hurt look on Yusuke's face when he said that. Yusuke's mind was suddenly open to Hiei, who was bombarded with mixed thoughts.

Why does he hate me?! How could I have hurt him so much?? Why? Why can't he just see what I hide so well? Why? Why am I the one he hates so? Why can't he see that I... Yusuke dropped Hiei and disappeared. The clearing was empty except for a lone fire demon sitting on the ground, crouched in the same position he had landed in, thinking...thinking about what he just heard.

Hiei wondered why Yusuke's mind had become suddenly accessible to him. Yusuke had said that he could only read his mind when he let him, but Yusuke obviously hadn't let him in that time. What had caused it? And where was the Spirit Detective now?

How could I have slipped?! I let down my guard and he was able to enter my mind. I don't know what he read. I don't know what he knows. What if he hates me more than before? I don't know if I can take that too. I just...just...want to disappear. Yusuke followed his thoughts. He disappeared. Out of the clearing, out of the town, out of the world. He disappeared into the Makai. Away from Hiei and away from the pain in the human world. Here, he wasn't just a human, he was a half demon.

Anyone who even thought to mess with Yusuke now, would most likely end up dead in 3 seconds flat or less. He wandered through the Makai, not caring where he went or where he ended up. Just running. Just trying to get away from all the pain.

Kurama knocked on the front door of Yusuke's house. When there was no answer, he tried again. After a few seconds he tried the handle and found it unlocked. Becoming worried, he opened the door and walked in. The house was silent. All the lights were off and no one was in sight. Kurama quickly walked into Yusuke's room, but Yusuke was no where to be seen. Suddenly, he felt a familiar youki nearby and ran out the back door of the house and there was Hiei.

"You won't find him here fox. He left."

"What did you do Hiei?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. He just left."

Kurama sighed. You know more than you're telling me."

"As do you, Kurama."

"What I know is between Yusuke and I. He told me in secrecy and that's how it will stay."

"Whatever you say fox."

"Hiei, stay out of my mind. Right now, we need to find Yusuke. He shouldn't be left alone."

"I know that. Believe me, from what I've already seen of his mind, he needs you."

"You actually got into his mind?! Never mind that now. Where is he?"

"You think I know?"

"Yes, now tell me. It's your fault he's gone. If he dies..."

Hiei stiffened unnoticably. "He's in the Makai, but I don't know where."

"Help me find him."

"He doesn't want me to find him. He ran away for a reason you know."

"I don't care. You're the only one who can find him. Right now, you should be able to read him thoughts. As vulnerable as he is, you shouldn't have any problems."

"One of these days, you should try getting into his head. It's harder than hell, and even more confusing." Hiei frowned, but closed his eyes anyway and concentrated on finding the missing Spirit Detective. "I'll be back eventually," he growled, disappearing to find Yusuke.

I want out. I don't want to be here anymore. The pain, it hurts so much. Everything...it's too hard. I can't handle this anymore. Why does he hate me? What have I done? Why? Why can't I be happy? Why does he torment me? Why is it that I fell in love? Why him? Why me? Why can't I get over her death? Do I even want to? Why can't I move on? He'll never love me, so why can't I move on? Why do I have to be haunted with his image? Why can't I just find happiness? Why is my life filled with darkness? Why is he my light?

Hiei's mind was filled with Yusuke's thoughts. They were all over the place. They moved so fast through his mind that it was hard to understand anything. He was amazed at everything Yusuke went though. He was shocked at the amount of pain that Yusuke was in, and was impressed greatly that he had managed to survive as long as he had.

Why doesn't he love me? Why am I like this? Why was I chosen? Why was I so special? Why did I have to take this? She never would have died if I had never come back. I should have stayed dead. Everyone was better off without me. I could have avoided all this pain. All this sorrow...all this...heartache.

Hiei raced to find the Spirit Detective before anyone could take advantage of his weakened state of mind. He was worried about him. As much as he hated to admit it, he cared for Yusuke. Not that he would ever admit it out loud, but he cared deeply for him.

Why can't I find happiness? Everyone else has someone to love. What about me? Why can't I have what everyone else has? I've earned it. I've been through so much. The pain is too much now. I guess I should have expected as much. I knew I couldn't live forever under this burden. Even I have a breaking point. I just wish I could tell him. I just finally want him to know.

He was getting closer. Hiei could feel Yusuke's energy in the air around him. It was flaring erratically. Every demon in the area would be frightened by his power, so at least he didn't have to worry about fighting anyone to get to Yusuke.

Maybe it's better if I just disappear for good. No one would miss me. Well, Kurama might, and maybe Kuwabara. Hiei wouldn't though. He'd probably be glad I finally gave up. You'd think he'd eventually get used to me, but I guess not. I guess he hates me too much. Love is such a fickle thing. Hate is so much easier to deal with. Plain and simple. Love. I don't want it. Maybe if I died, I wouldn't have to worry about love. Maybe I wouldn't have to deal with anything.

Hiei finally spotted Yusuke lying at the foot of a tree. He had his eyes shut and was breathing shallowly. Coughs racked his lean frame as Hiei finally stopped in front of him.

I think it's too late. I'll never get the chance to tell him. Heh, I guess it's fitting. I end up dying of a broken heart. Sorry Keiko, I couldn't find my happiness. I guess you'll have to hit me for it. You won't have to wait too long now. I'm coming to...

Hiei leaned down and gently shook Yusuke, trying not to hurt him for a change. Yusuke's only response was to break down in a fit of coughing. His breathing was labored and he was burning up with a fever. Hiei became worried about his health and leaned down to hear Yusuke's breathing.

Damnit, just when I was getting to sleep, someone just has to come and bug me. Whoever it is, is going to die, once I find the strength to open my eyes. It's much nicer falling asleep. I don't have to worry about the pain...until the nightmares start. But if I die, there won't be anymore nightmares. I won't have to wake up crying everynight, reminded over and over again...

"Damnit Yusuke, wake up," Hiei whispered, trying to get Yusuke to open his eyes. "Don't even think about dying, you idiot. I still have to figure your mind out. Wake up."

Is that Hiei's voice? Sounds like him, but it couldn't be. He hates me, why would be try and stop me from sleeping? All I want to do is rest. Maybe if I just ignore him, he'll give up and go away. The darkness is looking very peaceful right about now.

Yusuke's thoughts still raced through Hiei's mind. His eyes widened. Yusuke was really trying to die. "Yusuke, god damnit, get your eyes open before I have to open them for you! I told you, you can't die yet fool! There's still too much left to do. WAKE UP ALREADY!"

Doesn't he ever give up? No, I guess that's what I like about him. He's as stubborn as I am. If I just tell him to leave me alone, maybe I can finally sleep. Yeah, sleep sounds very good right now.

Yusuke cracked open his eyes and they met with the worried, blood-red eyes of Hiei.

Wait a minute...worried...Hiei...about...ME???!!!! That doesn't make sense. I'm just dreaming. He would never be worried about me.

"Just let me sleep Hiei," Yusuke mumbled weakly. "I'm tired. I wanna sleep."

"Yusuke!" Hiei looked relieved when he saw Yusuke's eyes open and then he became worried again at his words. "You can't sleep Yusuke!"

"But I'm so tired Hiei. And you're warm...mmm...very warm...and soft...and comfy...and," Yusuke broke off yawning, and then started coughing again. "Comfy...I can sleep peacefully now...night night Hiei..."

I'm warm and safe now. I can sleep. No nightmares can touch me while I'm with Hiei. I can finally...sleep.

"Damnit Yusuke, if you even think about dying, I'll kill you myself!" He picked Yusuke up and cradled him in his arms. He disappeared to the nearest portal to the human world and raced to find Kurama, the only person he knew who would be able to help Yusuke.

Hiei...I'm ready...sleep.....so tired....are you...there for.....me.....you don't....hate me....Hiei....I'm so.....tired....

"Yusuke, hang on. Don't even think about dying." Hiei opened his senses and sought out Kurama's power. He easily found him. He was back at his own house. That's where Hiei went. Not even knocking, he opened the door and quickly shut it before calling out to his friend.

"Kurama!"

"Hiei...why are you...what happened...!!!" Kurama stopped short when he saw Yusuke cradled possessively in Hiei's arms.

"I found him like this damnit...just DO SOMETHING!!!"

"We'll talk later. Follow me," Kurama said, turning and leading the way through his house to his room. "Put him on the bed, carefully, if you will."

"If I was going to hurt him, do you think I would have brought him back?" he asked, laying Yusuke gently down on the bed.

"Take his clothes off."

"What?!"

"We have to make him more comfortable. Besides, it'll make his breathing easier."

"Fine," Hiei mumbled, turning away before Kurama could see his blush. Shaking his head, he tenderly leaned Yusuke up and slipped off his shirt. Yusuke coughed lightly and remained unconscious. He softly laid the teen down on the bed and tossed the shirt over his shoulder. "Is that better?"

Kurama looked over his shoulder. "Yeah, that's fine. Now cover him up. He has to sweat out the fever."

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" Hiei questioned, pulling up the covers and tucking them tenderly around Yusuke.

"Probably a build-up of stress, overwork, and something he picked up from the Makai. I just have to mix up a few things and he should be O.K. It's nothing too dangerous...I hope."

"What do you mean 'you hope'? Is there something you're not telling me?"

Kurama sighed. "Lately Yusuke's been really depressed, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He might not have the will to live. The desire to continue living, I think it may have left him. Yesterday didn't help matters at all, you know."

"You're blaming me for this?!"

"In the short version yes, but in the long version, not completely. As I said, it's a build-up of stress, meaning this has been accumulating over a long period of time. You just happened to be the one to help him release everything inside of him, I suppose."

On the bed, Yusuke groaned and shivered. He kicked the covers away and then curled up, trying to keep warm. Hiei gently replaced the covers and looked worriedly at him before turning to look over at Kurama again, who was back to mixing something up. "It's all my fault then. I pushed him to this."

"No, you just helped. It was bound to happen eventually, you just brought it around sooner. Go get a glass of warm water"

Hiei walked out of the room and to the kitchen silently, still feeling guilty, though he still wouldn't admit it. Kurama sat on his bed and softly stroked Yusuke's forehead. "Come on Yusuke, wake up...do it for me."

Kurama...

Yusuke's eyes fluttered open and wearily focused of Kurama's face. "Hey Kurama," he whispered, coughing slightly. "What's up?"

"Yusuke! Thank God."

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" Yusuke asked, seeming delirious and unaware of what was going on around him.

"You don't remember anything?"

"Mmmmm…no...," Yusuke yawned. "Last thing I rem-" yawn "member was talking to Hiei. Noth-" yawn "nothing else...I'm tired Kurama."

"Yusuke, you can't sleep. You have to stay awake."

"B-but I'm so..." yawn "tired. Can't I j-just sleep..." yawn "for a little bit?"

"Kurama what do you want me to do with the water?"

Yusuke's eyes widened in panic at the sound Hiei's voice. His gaze flickered to Hiei. He whimpered and moved backwards across the bed in complete terror.

Not him...not now...it hurts....

Yusuke curled into a ball and stared unblinkingly at Hiei, with terrified eyes.

Hiei stepped back, surprised by Yusuke's response to him and the thoughts that continuously ran through his mind. "Yusuke, what..."

No...it hurts...so much...make it stop...please...

"Yusuke, what's the matter?" Kurama leaned forward and pulled Yusuke into a hug, rubbing his back and whispering soft, soothing words. Nothing seemed to help. Yusuke wouldn't calm down. His body trembled and shook with the force of his emotions.

Make it stop...I want it...to end...no more...please....pain....hurts...

Hiei stood just in the door of Kurama's room, staring at Yusuke. He still heard everything that ran through his mind. How could he be causing Yusuke pain? It didn't make sense. Why ...?

Why...I don't want...this...it...pain...hurts...make it stop....Kurama...help...Hiei...no...don't hurt me..anymore...Roses....Devil...please.....help me....

"Yusuke, please. Listen to me. There's nothing to worry about. It's just me. Really. Please calm down Yusuke. Calm down...for me."

Yusuke's eyes shifted to Kurama. Tears slipped from his eyes and poured down his cheeks. He nodded and laid his head down on Kurama's shoulder. "Kurama," he whispered. "Please make it stop? It hurts so much. Why, why does it hurt so much? Right here," Yusuke said, bringing his hand up and covering his heart. "Right here Kurama, here. Please, just make it stop..." Yusuke's eyes fell shut. He fell, leaning his body against Kurama for support. He let his body shut down and just gave in to unconsciousness.

Hiei...Kurama...love...pain...hate...please...make...it...stop. ..Hiei...

Thanks and Comments:

Sisko66002: Thanks for your review. I don't know when there will be a lemon *thinking: Yeah right I know but I'm not telling* All I'll say is that things are heating up in chapter 3...are we in Hawaii or is it just me...*smiles* Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Kurai eclipse of evanescense: Short review *pouting* At least talk in sentences. We are writers...so let's act like we can speak in actual sentences shall we. *smiles* I'm just plaing around...short but sweet and down to the point, how nice. At least you reviewed. *glares at everyone who didn't* I plan on keeping up with this one for a while at least. Oh, and check out my other story, Haunting Dreams...if you want to that is...and don't forget to review. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

forbidden kitsune: Kitsune...you drive me crazy. *smiles* The least you could do is change names when you review so I could actually count them towards the 20 needed to get me to update. You know I only count the first one. Glad to know I've still got your attention though. You had better review...or else. *smirks* And you do know what I'm talking about. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

forbidden kitsune: No Kitsune, reviews under the same name don't count...I've told you before haven't I??? *smiles* Better try again. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

forbidden kitsune: You're still crazy. I can't believe that you'd waste time reviewing...and under the same name again and again. I feel so loved. *smiles* And you know I mean it too. Baka kitsune. *smiles* Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

forbidden kitsune: Yeah, that's five all right. And too bad I only counted the first one, ne? Oh well, I'm still here updating...just for you. *smiles* Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

K: Thanks for the reviews (several reviews) *smiles* I appreciate the fact that your computer likes me enough to send me lots of copies of your reviews. I don't know if it will be a threesome or not. I haven't decided. *thinking: Or maybe I have, but I don't want to tell anyone* Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Baka KitsuneBri: Die Keiko, die!!! *looks around* Did I just say that outloud...yep, hell yeah I did. If I killed her off, that means I don't like her. She stands in the way of better pairings. I'm glad to know you found parts of it funny, and I hope you keep reading and reviewing. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you stick with me through the end...Merry Christmas...or is it Happy Holidays?

Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note part 1: You had better be on your knees thanking me that I'm in the stupid holiday spirit, or I would have made all of you wait longer. Stupid people who read and refuse to review. *glares at the non-reviewers* Thank you once again to those who have reviewed. This chapter is for all of you, not anyone else. As proof that you've read my replys to you, make a comment when you review again. That way, I'll know if you're paying attention to what I have to say...or not. Merry Christmas to you reviewers and Bah Humbug to you evil non-reviewers...coal to you I say, coal.

Author's, monotonous, ever boring, completely useless, note part 2: You hate me, you hate me not...you hate me, you hate me not...you hate me....of course you do. Sorry for leaving off at such a place, but you know the saying...always leave em wanting more. So have I left you wanting more? You know it. Same drill as last time. 20 brand new, completely exciting, totally retro reviews or I don't update...and I know how much you'd all hate me for that, now wouldn't you? Peace out, and hope you enjoyed reading the newest chapter of Internet Romance. Now REVIEW... OR ELSE!!!!!