Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ My Kitsune ❯ Homecoming ( Chapter 6 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

He put his papers away and looked up at me. His
blood-red eyes asking me a question he couldn't frame
but I could understand anyway. I gave him the smile
that came closest to what I felt, I am tired, and I am
sad because I've only just began.

I'm going to start dreading the taxi rides with him
if I don't do something about this. I have nothing to
occupy my thoughts because most of what we need to do
are already done.

I'm so glad we are going to a party tonight, I won't
have to sit alone and think.

And I can pretend. I can definitely pretend.

He looked away when he understood I don't want to
talk and I was tired. We rode like that, each in our
own little world for a few more minuites before we got
off at the Nippon Bank.

We need to open an account for him and then a credit
line I was thankful for the extra pictures the guy at
the Foreign Affairs gave us. I think he will need a
Swiss account after we are done selling his diamonds.

That settled my... I mean our iteniary for the next
month, Hong Kong, then U.S., then Europe.

It was around 5 pm when we got into the bank, it took
us less than 30 minuites to get everything done.
Technically he can't use his card yet, but because he
deposited a ridiculously large amount of cash and
left 10 diamonds in their safety deposit box all he
has to do is call and he'll get any amount he needs.

I guess that's why the first store I led him to was
Armani's.

I'm sitting in one of the cushy armchairs in the
boutique, Hiei is dressed in the clothes I picked for
him looking at the mirror with a critical eye. He
trusted me with the design but he chose the colors he
wanted and had patiently modeled one set after
another. Dressing up in them and getting out of it
again. I can see that it amused him to look at himself
in the mirror with ningen clothes on and I think I've
done a good job because after that store he had a
pretty clear idea of what he wanted to wear.

We left Armani with Hiei dressed in a cream cashmere
turtle neck sweater, a pair of black stretch jeans,
socks, a pair of leather boots, a short leather jacket
(because the long wool one was too big), a pair of
leather gloves and an off-white cashmere scarf (Hey
he's got the money for this ne?). But I wanted a long
wool coat for him so he can wear his katana under it.

We went to Boss and got the extra small coat for him
it fit him perfectly and it reached his ankles, he
wore that out of the store with his katana tucked
under it. He bought a scent too, and I followed the
scent of oranges and spice to the next store where we
chose some casuals for him.

I don't know why I took him to these high end
European stores they are too expensive to be practical
but I finally understood why when we were at Lacoste
and he was trying on a pair of blue jeans and a white
long sleeved golf shirt. He had frowned at his
reflection and took it off right in front of the sales
clerk who blushed and in front of me who... ah had a
completely different reaction.

I can't help it, I couldn't help it, the past hour
had been one bizzarre strip tease for me. I shifted
uncomfortably staring at his lean muscular torso, his
nipples were dark and the numerous scars he'd recieved
from battle only heightened the unusual texture and
color of his skin. He's darker than I am but his skin,
was hairless, fine and as poreless as a woman's.

Nothing but the best of clothes deserve to hug that
skin. Nothing but the purest silks, the finest
cottons, the sheerest linens the softest wool.

He put the red shirt on and looked at me. I had to
force myself to smile because he covered the view I
was admiring. I was sure I was pouting, I'm losing
control, this is getting out of hand.

"Yes, red reflects in your eyes, I like that color."
I said in an effort to hide my discomfort.

"Hn." he said and took it off again this time with
his back to me the sales lady apologized profusely and
asked him to go into the changing room, bowing and
pointing with open hands. He nodded at me and I
followed him inside the changing room, I was torn
between being extremely happy and extremely
frustrated.

I've been a Youko for an entire year, shrugging my
human form to explore my demon past. I had concluded
back then that that expirience had enriched my human
nature, right now I'm torn between that conclusion and
the conclusion that I've learned how to torture
myself.

I want him, I want to ravage him, I want him to cry
under me, I want to touch him in ways he'd never
known. I ache for his touch...I want to taste him....
Hell I'd even let him take me. Hiei....

Hey, thought you said you needed to think?

.....

We left the boutique laden with bags, I did my own
shopping too, making sure Hiei didn't see me naked. My
wounds are okay, they don't even bother me anymore. I
would not have even thought about them if Yusuke
hadn't punched my arm, I had a week to recover
afterall. But Hiei would be worried OR he'll be
disgusted if he sees my other scars.

I don't want to risk that, I can't pretend if he's
disgusted with me.

I hailed a cab for the trip home, I know we'll be
late, but I left the junkfood in my house and we can't
go there looking like Christmas trees with all these
bags. It will be pretty embarrasing.

I sighed and leaned back, I closed my eyes so I can
feel Hiei's warmth extended to encompass me. He's
turning it off now that we are inside the cab. It was
a very nice gesture, It got pretty chilly and I never
even noticed because he wrapped me in a cocoon of his
warmth everytime we go outside. That was so sweet of
him.

I do want him. I really do. But, does he want me as
much as I want him? I don't know. Should I risk
loosing him as my best friend? Or will he accept this
developement as any demon would who understood the
ways of the Youko? I bet he'll understand, he's a
demon through and through.

"Kurama?" Hiei asked without looking at me.

"Yes?"

"You've been acting strange all afternoon." he said
softly to keep the cab driver from listening in.

"It's nothing, I'm just ... stressed." I replied
keeping my eyes closed my head resting on the car
seat's back exposing my neck.

"Ch." he replied and in Hiei speak that means 'Yeah
right. So your pushing me away.'

I sighed. I am one of Yomi's most powerful
Lieutenants, I've destroyed a handful of class A's and
a couple of class S's, we train together along with
poor doomed Yoshira. And here I was too afraid to tell
Hiei how much I want him. I'm not pushing him away
anymore am I? I'm taking him with me aren't I?

"You were frustrated a few minutes ago and now your
angry." Hiei said matter of factly, I opened an eye
and this time he was looking at me out of the corner
of his eyes.

I closed my eye and remained where I was even as I
felt my face burn all the way to the ears, he's been
observing me! Reading me like a book. I remmeber a
time when I had better control over my emotions
keeping even him from reading my aura accurately.

I can't blame him for watching me like that. I went
from cold and nasty last night, to uncaring and flirty
the next afternoon, then from that too cautious and
business-like. I've unbalanced him, threw him off his
comfort zone.

Well, that means he knows that I feel for him,
because during the pass hour I have been looking at
him. Really looking, not even bothering to push away
the range of emotions I felt.

What was that he said that time?

'Get away from me you stupid Youko! Look, right now
we are potential enemies, I have no interest in your
proposals, I need to concentrate on this offer Mokuro
gave me. I don't want you getting in the way of my
being an heir to this kingdom. For the sake of past
friendships, I'm letting you go, next time we meet we
could be enemies.'

Ouch.

I thought he'd understand, he's my dearest friend
after all, I trusted him and he trusted me, I was so
lonely, all I needed was...

Don't blame him, he was too young to understand.

I know... I forgave him and threw myself into Yomi's
arms.

If you've got a mistake and cover it with another
mistake-

You get a bigger mistake, I know... And I think this
is another mistake. It's selfish!

Which we will rectify in Hong Kong. In the end all
that matters are the memories, it's all we'll have
left when the end of our road comes.

I-I want those memories... I want...

I know what we need. I know what we want. We all
agree.

I remember someone saying 'Love deeply and
completely, you might get hurt but it's the only way
to live.' (1)

That's true, that's why I swore against it. Weren't
you so badly hurt that time that you actually wanted
to die? That you were crazy enough to do that suicide
training Yomi-

SHUT UP!!! SSSHHUT!!! UP!!! It didn't happen It-

.....


The thing is you changed, but they never did, he
never did.

Silent one make me forget, give us a chance for those
memories. Take this hell away from me. Please, please
make me forget please....

...

"Kurama, we're here."

"Huh?" I sat up surprised. I must have fallen asleep.

"You were," He answered my unspoken question "we were
talking then you fell asleep." I looked at Hiei who
was gathering the strings and handles of the boutiques
bags by his feet.

"Sorry, guess I was tired." I smiled and took the
bags from him. "You stay here, I'll run in real quick
and get the food. We're late." I said as much to the
cab driver. Then I made my awkward way out of the taxi
and into the house.

I greeted Suiichi and told my mom about the party.
Otosan isn't home yet and my little brother helped me
to get the shoping bags upstairs. I'll give her the
scarf I bought for her tomorrow before we leave. Right
now I have to go. I grabbed the bags of junkfood,
leaving a box of strawberry cream Poky on the counter
for my brother before making my way back to the taxi.


I gave the driver general directions, then called
Kuwabara for the specific ones. He said he was going
to pick me up but since we're here anyway might as
well save him the effort. I told Kuwabara that I have
Hiei with me and I got the impression he was happy
even if he said otherwise.

The condominium is downtown, and it's peak traffic
hours. I asked Kuwabara to tell them that we'll be a
little late.

After I told the driver where to go there was
basically nothing else to do but sit back and relax.

"I had a great day." I announced to the cab in
general as I leaned against the corner to face Hiei.

"You were exausted." he countered.

"But still it's pretty productive ne?" I smiled at
him.

"I suppose." he said, he looked puzzled though, I
wonder why?

"You alright?" I asked.

"I was going to ask you that."

"I'm okay, is there something wrong Hiei?" I asked
worried.

He opened his mouth to speak then he shut them. He
frowned and looked away.

I moved out of my corner and scooted over to his
side. I put my arm around his shoulders and kissed his
cheek. Hiei turned in my arms to look at me squarely
in the eye. But he did not struggle, he just looked at
me with a question framed on his brows.

"You were angry.... I don't understand this." he said
simply.

I smiled and ran my finger down his cheek, gods I was
right, his skin remained soft and smooth. I've been
kissing Hiei's cheek and hugging him for sometime now
risking retaliation but so far he'd done none of that.
This encouraged me to take it further.

I brushed my cheek against his and sighed meaning to
take his lips when he stiffened. I stopped and saw him
frowning up at me.

"Hiei?" I pulled away slowly he looked apprehensive,
uncertain... "Gomen." I said and clenched my hands
cursing myself.

Stupidstupidstupidstupid! Hiei had NEVER had this
expirience before, gods I almost ruined it for him I
must have better control of myself. I must do this
slowly and with care.

I could feel the silence between us like it's a live
thing chewing me one bite at a time. I cleared my
throat " Hiei I wish to apologize for what I did a few
minuits ago."

"Hn?" he asked giving me his full attention.

"I'm sorry I...." I cleared my throat. He wasn't
going to make it easy for me. "Please forgive me for
touching you in a manner that displeased you." I said
with a bow and a sheepish smile.

There was a long silence while he stared at me. Then
he shook his head and smiled that little smile of
his, I blushed, again, I felt my ears go hot.

"You look funny fox stammering apologies like that."
he said "You did nothing that offended me, it just..."
he shrugged and frowned " felt strange. This entire
day felt strange. You were strange."

I felt like I hit a jackpot. All I heard was 'You did
nothing that offended me.' There's hope, I haven't
messed up! Hiei will be mine!

"You mean you didn't mind all those times I've kissed
you?" I asked him carefully, all the while chanting to
myself, 'I will be careful, I will not rush this, I
will be careful...'

He looked at me again with that question in his eyes.
I can feel him searching me reading my feelings,
looking for something, I let him, I have nothing to
hide. After a while he shook his head again puzzled
"Why do ningens do that?"

"We kiss and hug to show our affection, I think I
told you that before." Hiei is acting strange tonight.

"This afternoon you couldn't careless if I run you
through with my sword, you even groped me and it
wasn't like before, it felt cold, I felt used, what
did you mean you were always like that? And now your
the old Kurama I used to know, the way you hugged me,
was warm and inviting, the way you kissed me felt
nice. I'm confused Kurama. I don't know what to think
anymore!"

He's never been kissed on the lips? How OLD is he?
Doesn't this tell you how bad a childhood he had? Why
he kept people away from himself way into his
adulthood? He got nervous when I hugged him the first
time.

But this is good news, he actually likes to be kissed
now, and he said the way I hug him is warm and
inviting. It's a great improvement from the first
time, he actually put his sword at my throat that
time.

"Hiei, what did you feel when I held you earlier?" I
asked softly keeping all my attention on him.

"What!?" he asked, he looked like I've thrown him off
course.

"You know when I put my arm around you just a few
minuites ago." I said clarifying my question.

He frowned and crossed his arms, he took a while to
frame his words and I waited patiently for him to
speak "I felt...your aura surrounding me, I
felt...warm and ...safe. Does that make any sense?" he
asked.

"Perfectly." I smiled "I feel a need to take care of
you I don't want any harm coming near you." He looked
at me with quiet disbelief. "Look, I'm sorry if I'm
confusing you, I'm a bit confused myself. I just need
to rest, it's been a stressful few days.

"It's more than that fox, I felt like..." he said
grappling for words.

"I'm sorry, I am a bit possesive." I touched the back
of his hand on his chest very lightly "I have very few
friends I can trust with my life Hiei. You are one of
them and I feel much closer to you than to Yusuke or
Kuwabara. I care for you...I hope you understand."

He glared at me, then he lowered his arms from his
chest. "Ch." he looked out his window I knew he
accepted my words. He turned his small calloused hand
over and squeezed mine. He did understand, I threaded
my fingers between his and ran my thumb over the back
of his hand. I knew that the smile I'm wearing came
from the bottom of my heart.

"Hn." he said with a rueful smirk without
interrupting his study of the city passing by through
the windows of the cab.

I contented myself with holding his hand on his lap.
Never kissed, never hugged, rejected as an infant,
never loved in short. I felt sad for him and angry at
the world that branded him forbidden and tossed him
aside like he was yesterday's garbage.

I can't have him just to satisfy my lust... no... he
is beyond that, what he needs is... damn I can't fall
in love... I musn't. But do I still have a choice? I
sighed and looked away, I don't have a choice anymore.


Do I love Hiei? The answer was there, always there
pushed aside or tucked away... I've loved him since
after that 3 treasures incident, that's when I started
to really notice him, the question was how badly have
I fallen for him? It's beyond having a crush now, of
that I am positive. Yes... hopelessly... I do love
him...

Admitting that to myself was like stretching my arms
out to the warm spring sun after months in a dark dank
cave. I wanted to laugh and spin circles and roll on
the grass, my heart flew....

Ah Hiei, I swear I will protect you, even from
myself, I will protect you.
__________________________________________________
(1) Kaori Yuki - Angel Sanctuary