Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Lord of the Rings: The Fellows ❯ Chapter 1 ~Update!~ ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

CHAPTER TWO:

Satsu: *munch* I hess we hood ge harhed.

Kit: *munch* Mmf. He hood.

~*neither move*~

Kuronue: -.-

Satsu: *swallow* We really should.

Kit: Yeah.

~*twenty minutes later*~

Kuronue: …ARE YOU DONE YET?!

Satsu: YES! We just aren't choosing to move…

Kuronue: COME. ON. *whine*

Kit: …*to Satsu* Want some coffee? *points to Coffee Shop down the road*

Satsu: YEAH!! *heads towards door with Kit*

Kuronue: *anime fall* YOU'RE THE DIRECTORS!!

Satsu and Kit: SO? *skip off to Coffee Shop*

~*ten minutes later*~

Kuronue: …What the heck. *goes to Coffee Shop*

~*five minutes later*~

Yusuke: *storms in* DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS- hey… WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE?!

~*ten minutes later*~

Kit: *walks in with Satsu* *points to random people* YOU'RE LATE! EVERYONE, QUIET ON THE SET!! *sips coffee*

Satsu: *putting Touya's hat on* Okay, in the cart, you have to be singing.

Touya: What?

Satsu: Sing. It's to let Frodo… er… Yusuke know you're here.

Touya: No.

Satsu: Please?

Touya: No.

Satsu: Will ya whistle?

Touya: No.

Satsu: Hum??

Touya: No.

Satsu: *anime fall* WORK WITH ME HERE!!

Kit: …SOMEONE ELSE WHISTLE FOR HIM!

Botan: I will! ^^

Kit: o-KAY! And… ACTION!

~~~~~~~~~~

Touya: *in cart* * “whistling” Bingo*

Kit: …O.o CUT!

~~~~~~~~~~

Botan: What?

Kit: WHISTLE SOMETHING OTHER THAN BINGO!!!

Satsu: Whistle “At the Beginning”!! ^^

Kit: What does that have to do with the movie?

Satsu: *shrug*

Botan: Okie dokie! =^^=

Kit: ACTION!

~~~~~~~~~~

Touya: *in cart* * “whistling” At the Beginning*

Yusuke: *hiding behind tree* NO WAY.

Kit: What?

Yusuke: THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOIN' OUT IN THESE CLOTHES. NO WAY IN HELL. AND WHY DOES EVERY SETTING HAVE TO BE IN FRIGGIN' NATURE??

Kit: …BECAUSE!

Yusuke: WHY ARE WE EVEN BOTHERING WITH THIS PRODUCTION? WE HAVE A CRAPPY CAST, A CRAPPY CAMERA MAN…

Kuronue: Hey! *pout*

Yusuke: …A CRAPPY STORY, AND COFFEE OBSSESSED DIRECTORS!

Satsu: DON'T DISS THE COFFEE!

Kit: JUST SAY YOUR LINE! We're paying you, you know!

Yusuke: - .- FINE.

Everyone: *resumes places*

Yusuke: *reading “comic book” ^~ * *hears Touya whistling* *jumps up and runs to edge of road* HEY, YOU! YOU'RE FRICKIN' LATE!! >< WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

Touya: …A wizard is never late, Yusuke Urameshi. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

Yusuke: THEN YOU MEANT TO ARRIVE FRICKIN' LATE, DAMMIT! YOU SHOULDA BEEN HERE DAYS AGO!

Touya and Yusuke: *look at each other* *blinky blinky* *burst out laughing*

Yusuke: *hops in cart* Great to see ya, man! *guy handshake* ^^

Kit: - - CUT!

~~~~~~~~~~

Satsu: THAT AIN'T IN THE SCRIPT!

Yusuke: …Well…

Satsu: But it was cute.

Kit: Yes. You're excused. ACTION! *sips coffee*

~~~~~~~~~~

Touya: You didn't think I'd miss your Uncle Sakyo's birthday? Even though he was a power hungry idiot who tried to kill us all.

Yusuke: Yeah… but we can overlook that.

Touya: True.

Satsu: CUT!

~~~~~~~~~~

Kit: Why? It was good.

Satsu: Are they allowed to do that?

Sakyo: *lights cigarette* I don't mind.

Satsu: Never mind then.

Kurama: *snatches cigarette* Don't ruin your lungs.

Sakyo: -.- *lights another one*

Kurama: *twitch* *takes cigarette*

Sakyo: *glare* *lights another*

Kurama: ENOUGH. *takes that one, too*

Sakyo: Why don't you steal Shizuru's?!

~*awkward pause*~

Shizuru: *behind stage smoking* Don't tell anyone I'm here!

~*back to studio*~

Kit: WE'RE TRYING TO FILM HERE!!

Satsu: YEAH. ACTION!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Yusuke: So, what's goin' on in Rivendell and Moria and Bree and Mordor and-

Touya: Yusuke, you idiot, you haven't been there yet. - -

Yusuke: ^^; Oh, right. Ahem. So, what's goin' on in the rest of the world? Spill the beans.

Touya: You want to know? You're too eager and curious for a… uh… um… what is he? Demon? Human?

Satsu: A HOBBIT.

Touya: A what?

Kit: A little short dude! ^^

Yusuke: But I'm not short.

Kit: We know.

Satsu: We're gonna use special CG! *turns to Kuronue* Right? ^^

Kuronue: Yeah! ^^ See? *points to screen*

Yusuke on camera: *has no legs* *is basically floating*

Yusuke: O.O MY LEGS ARE GONE!

Kuronue: Don't worry, you can float! ^^ And you're lucky, I wanna float…

Yoko: Ooo! ME! I WANNA FLOAT! ^^

Kurama: *headhand*

Kuronue: *moves camera to Kurama and Yoko* *hits buttons* ^^ I'll make you both float!

Kurama and Yoko on screen: *have no legs* *are floating*

Yoko: YAY! ^-^

Kurama: Uh…

Satsu: BACK TO THE MOVIE!

~*no one moves*~

Satsu:…*to Kit* D'ya want some ice cream?

Kit: Sure. *heads towards the door with Satsu*

Kuronue: *stops Satsu and Kit* NO! YOU CAN ORDER OUT!! *fixing camera-hobbits so they have legs and are short*

Kit: T.T

Satsu: *grumble, grumble* *goes back to chair* Keep filming.

Touya: You're eager and curious for a hobbit - most unnatural. Well, what can I tell you. Life in the world goes on much as it has this past age, full of its own comings and goings. Scarcely aware of the existence of hobbits, for which I am very thankful. Oh, a long-expected party. So how is the old rascal? I hear it's going to be a party of special magnificence.

Yusuke: Yeah, well, you know Sakyo - he's got the whole place trippin over themselves to get here.

Touya: Oh, well, that's hould please him.

Yusuke: Half the frickin' Shire's been invited!! And the other half's showing up anyway!

Touya: Very impressive.

Yusuke: Ya know, I think he's up ta something.

Touya: Really? Mmm… *turns eyes away from Yusuke*

Yusuke: Right then, keep the vault shut. Before you popped up, we actually had a good rep.

Touya: If you're referring to the incident with the dragon, I was hardly involved. All I did was give Sakyo a little push out the door.

Yusuke: Whatever you did, you've stolen the title “Disturber of the Peace”. Which used to be MINE! *glare*

Kit: - .-

Satsu: x_x

Yusuke: WHAT? IT WAS!!

Kit: DON'T ARGUE.

Satsu: Yeah, we didn't have ice cream!

Kit: *glares at Kuro*

Kuronue: >> << WHAT'D I DO?!

Kit: You're closest. *sips coffee* GET ON WITH IT.

Satsu: *flipping through script* We need HOBBIT CHILDREN! Kuronue, use special effects!

Kuronue: Right.

Hobbit Stick Figure Kids: *mechanically* Tou-ya! Tou-ya! Fi-re-works!

Kit and Satsu: *anime fall*

Touya: # - -

Kuronue: ^^;;; Fine, fine.

Hobbit Kids: Touya, Touya!! Fireworks!!!

Touya: *sets off ice explosions*

Hobbit Kids: Yay!!

Yusuke: Nice one. Glad you're back. ^^

Touya: So am I. So am I. ^^

Kit: CUT!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Satsu: WE FINISHED TWO SCENES! YAY!!

~*and there was much rejoicing*~

Everyone: YAY!! ^^

Kit: CHANGE SET!!

~*everyone moves over to the indoor set of Sakyo's house*~

Kit: ACTION!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Touya: *knocks on door*

Sakyo: No thank you. We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations.

Touya: And about… very… *twitch*… old… *twitch*… friends…?

Satsu and Kit: CUT!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Satsu: You're friends. Please just say it right. X_x

Touya: *mutters* Think of the money, think of the money, think of the money… ^^

Kit: O.O He's scary.

Satsu: ACTION!

~*nothing happens*~

Satsu:… I SAID ACTION! ><

Kuronue: *not there*

Satsu: -.-

Kit: O.o Where'd he go?

Satsu: # - - *rolls tape herself* ACTION. *starts camera* *sits down*

~~~~~~~~~~

Sakyo: *opens door* Touya?

Touya: Sakyo Baggins.

Sakyo: Touya!

Touya: Good to see you - 111 years old. I wouldn't believe it. You haven't aged a-

Kuronue: *waltzes in* Wheeee! *skips around hobbit house set*

Kit:…I think we found him.

Satsu: # KURONUE!!!

Kuronue: Whaaaat? *halo*

Satsu: WHERE WERE YOU?!

Kuronue: ….Nooowheeeere… *trips over the air* Ow. *giggle*

Satsu: YOU IDIOT! YOU WENT DRINKING, DIDN'T YOU?!!

Kuronue: Nuh-uuuh.. *tries to stand up* *falls* *bursts into a laughing fit*

Sakyo: I saw him and Yoko sneak out.

Kit: …Where's Yoko?

Kuronue: I don't know… he left… without meee…. *sobs*

Satsu: *really PO'd now* *drags Kuronue to camera* You. Film. Now. *twitch*

Kit: *sips coffee* Get on with it.

Touya: I wouldn't believe it. You haven't aged a day.

Sakyo: Come in, come in. Welcome. Tea? Or perhaps something stronger? I have a few bottles of Old Wineyards left. 1296 - very good year. Almost as old as I am, it was laid down by my father.

Touya: Just tea, thank you.

Sakyo: Want anything to eat?

Touya: No, just tea, thank you.

Sakyo: Well, do you mind if I do?

Touya: No, no, go ahead.

Kit: *runs to set* *knocks on door* HIIIII! SAKYO! ANSWER THE DOOR! WHEE! ^^

Sakyo: I'm not home. I have to get away from everyone, showing up all day, never giving me a moment's peace.

Touya: So you mean to go through with your plan, then?

Sakyo: Yes, it's all in hand.

Touya: Yusuke suspects something.

Sakyo: Of course he does, he's a Baggins. Not some blockheaded Braceigrld from Hardbottle… wait.

Satsu: What?

Sakyo: There's a typo in the script.

Kit: There is??? *revising script with master editing skills*

Sakyo: Of course there is. Yusuke is an idiot.

Yusuke: HEY! Careful, moneybags, or I'll blow that smirk right of your face! *gives the finger*

Satsu: *anime fall* CUT!!

Kuronue: But this is funny!!

Satsu: # -.-

Kuronue: O_O

~~~~~~~~~~

Kit: *sips coffee* Okay. Look. If you fight anymore, we're taking it out of your salary.

Yusuke: YOU'RE NOT EVEN PAYING US!

Shishi, Hiei, Kurama, Kuwabara, Shizuru, Sakyo, Kuronue: O_O YOU'RE NOT?!!!

Kit: …Of course we are… >> <<

Satsu: Yes we ARE. ^^ *halo* *makes mental note to start beating up preps for money*

Satsu from the Past: *appears through portal* Here, use this. *gives Present Satsu prep credit card*

Satsu: Oh. Thanks!

Inuyasha: Come on!! *holding portal open*

Satsu from the Past: Bye! *leaves with Inuyasha*

Kit and Satsu: *blink blink* PAYCHECK!

Everyone else: ^^

Satsu: …AFTER we finish the scene. ^-^

Everyone: -.- *groan*

Satsu: -.- #

Everyone: O_O Yes ma'am.

Kit: *sips coffee* Places!!

Satsu: *looks at Kit* Is that a never-emptying coffee cup? `Cause you've been chugging that thing for two hours.

Kit: ^^;; Writer's secret. Action!!

Kuronue: No, really, how do you do it?

Kurama: *eyes cup* There must be some kind of scientific way she's doing that…

Kit: - - It's my secret. Action.

Kuronue: Fine. v_v

~~~~~~~~~~

Touya: You will tell him, won't you?

Sakyo: Yes. *sigh*

Touya: He's very fond of you…

Sakyo: I know. He'd probably come with me if I asked him. But I think in his heart, Yusuke's still in love with the Shire. Or, at least, all the women in it.

Touya: *laughs* Yes, that's true.

Sakyo: *sigh* I need a break - a really long one. In fact… I don't think I'll ever come back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kit: *thrusts pipes into Touya's and Sakyo's hands and shoves them outside* PLACES!

Kurama: *leaning over Kit's shoulder, sniffing the coffee cup*

Kit: -.- ACTION!

~~~~~~~~~~

Sakyo: *puts down cigarette and picks up the pipe* Old Toby, the finest weed in the-

Yoko: *staggers in* Kurooonue, where'dja go… *trips* O_O

Everyone: O_O;

Sake bottle that was in Yoko's hand: *flies over by Sakyo in slow motion*

Kurama: *in slo-mo* NOOOOOOOOO^26983342 !!!!!!!

Bottle: *hovers over cigarette on ground*

Yoko: *in slo-mo* NOOOOOOOOO^26983342 !!!!!!!

Sakyo and Touya: *in slo-mo* *stand up and run*

~*everything suddenly returns to normal speed*~

Bottle: *still hovering as people run*

Cast members: *taking off*

Bottle: *drops*

~*grass suddenly goes up in flames*~

Kit: *screams*

Satsu: CUUT! *scrambles for safety*

Kuronue: *filming the fire* Why? This is pretty! ^.^

Satsu: TOUYA! USE YOUR ICE POWERS OR SOMETHING!

Touya: *not there* *already ran*

Satsu: O.O OH SHIT! *grabs the camera* RUN!

Kuronue: MY CAM-

Satsu: STUFF IT!! *runs*

Kit and Kuronue: *follow*

~*a safe distance away*~

Everyone: *watches the Japanese hill go up in flames* ;-;

Ron and Hermione: AUGMENTA! *puts out fire*

Everyone: O.o

Hermione: REPAIRO!

Hill: *good as new*

Kit: YOU WERE THE ONES WHO LEVITATED THE BOTTLE!

Ron: *raises hand* That was me.

Satsu: YOU!! *attacks Ron*

Kurama: O.O Sats-

Kit: Let her fight it out. *sips coffee*

Kurama: O.O You still have that cup??

Kit: A lady can't do anything useful without caffeine. *shrugs* *takes another sip*

Sakyo, Touya, and Kuronue: *back in positions*

Sakyo: Touya, my friend, this will be a night to remember.

Touya: You can say that again.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kuronue: *runs over with tape* WE'RE DONE!!

Ron and Hermione: *nowhere to be seen*

Satsu and Kit: WE'RE DONE!!

Everyone: *greedy eyes* Paaaaycheck, paaaaycheck, paaaaycheck…

Satsu and Kit: O.O AAHHH!! *run away from zombie, money crazy people*

END CHAPTER.

Okay, okay, we took forever. Sorry. Blame me (Kit), I'm the one typing this up. I got busy with school… eh, who needs excuses.

Time for…

Kit's 7 Question Anticipations Section!

Yes, everyone in this cast is technically Japanese, and yes, Ron and Hermione are British. No, I don't expect you to buy that everyone magically knows how to speak English. You see, before the production began, we put Babel fishes in everyone's ear. If you don't know what a Babel fish is, you are a poor, deprived person.

Yes, there is a secret to my coffee cup…

…and no, it will not be told anytime soon.

Yes, Hermione and Ron's disappearance will be explained later.

No, I don't know what NOOOOOOOOO^26983342 is.

No, the next chapter will not be up anytime soon… though we will *ahem* try.

Yes, I am going to disclaim Ron, Hermione, and the Babel fish.

Review!!

….Ooooh, I fooled you, didn't I?!!

-Kit and Satsu do not own Ron, Hermione, their charms, or the Babel fish. They own only themselves.-

12/31/06

Our New Year's goal was to finish writing this story by the end of the year, and miraculously, we pulled it off. Now we have to type it up and put it up here.

Thank you, reviewers, and on that note…

I do not know how it wound up with the previous series selection as… er, whatever it was. I definitely didn't put that there, and Satsu doesn't even use this site. That must have been a computer glitch. I've fixed it now. Thanks for pointing it out.

~Much love from Kit~