Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Season of the Crystal Feather ❯ The Name-calling contest, Round 1 ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: Nothing has changed between this chapter and the last one where I said the disclaimer. I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, its characters, Flash, Terminator, Hinote, or Tundra. I still own Autumn, Freckles, Nuala, Thorn and The crystal (which I forgot to mention before)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Name-calling contest, Round 1:

Thorn clapped her hands, "So let's get this contest started!"

"What's the point? No matter who wins Autumn's going to wind up with the pendant." Hinote pointed out.

Yusuke raised an eyebrow, "How?"

"She'll force the person to give it to her. That or she'll take it. She really likes shiny things." Flash pointed at Autumn who was staring at the pendant.

"Hey Autumn, if you agree not to steal the pendant from the winner I'll get you a picture of Kurama naked." Yusuke said.

Kurama nearly spit out his tea, "YUSUKE!!!"

"Kurama naked?! WHERE?!?!" Autumn looked around expectantly.

Flash hit Autumn's head, "Bad! No fan girl!"

"So how about it?" Yusuke asked.

Autumn considered it, "Throw in some Strawberry YanYan and a picture of Kurama with his hair in a ponytail and it's a deal."

"WHAT?! You two can't be serious!" Kurama yelled.

Yusuke reached his hand out for a shake, "Deal."

Kurama looked back and forth between Autumn and Yusuke in horror, "Surely this is some kind of a joke!"

"Sorry Kurama, my interests come before your dignity." Yusuke nodded.

Autumn had a disgusted look on her face, "Eww! You were serious?! You pervert!"

"You mean you don't want a naked Kurama picture?" Hinote was shocked.

Autumn shook her head, "I have screen caps from the movie for that! Even if in the movie you can't see anything because of shadows it's still him naked..."

"Now who's the pervert?!" Yusuke yelled.

Autumn rolled her eyes, "It's not real! You were going to actually spy on him to get that picture! If I'm gonna have a naked Kurama picture I'll get it myself!"

"CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE THE SUBJECT?!?" Kurama yelled loudly. His cheeks were red from embarrassment and he looked kind of angry.

"Aye, aye, captain!" Autumn said as she brought her hand to her forehead in a salute.

Kurama sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand. Thorn grinned, "Before we start does anyone want a sugar cookie?"

"Did you say sugar cookie?" Autumn asked as she quickly looked over at Thorn.

Thorn handed Autumn a cookie. Autumn poked Flash and declared happily, "Look! I got a sugar cookie!"

"SHIT!!! WHO GAVE HER SUGAR?!" Flash yelled as she jumped out of her chair.

Thorn blinked, "I did...Is that bad?"

"YES! She gets super hyper with sugar in her system!!" Hinote yelled.

"I do not!" Autumn countered before devouring the cookie.

I let out a noise of displeasure and ran under Kurama's chair for safety purposes. Kurama blinked, "Surely she can't be that bad."

"You'll see." Flash stated simply.

Thorn smiled, "Now for our contest!"

"Yay! Who goes first?!" Autumn looked around perkily.

"Alright, this is how it will work. We'll have different rounds of one-on-one name calling. You can say things to the other person as long as what you say has an insult somewhere in it. The first one to freak out or say something without an insult in it is the loser. The winner then advances to the next round. Are there any volunteers?" Thorn looked around.

"I will!" Kuwabara raised his hand.

"In that case Hiei has to go too. It's expected, it really is." Hinote nodded.

"Alright, the first match will be Hiei vs. Kuwabara." Kurama announced as he took out a piece of paper and a pen to keep track of the matches.

"Begin!" Thorn yelled.

Kuwabara pointed at Hiei, "Shorty."

"Target practice," Hiei said as he aimed a fork at Kuwabara's head.

Kuwabara glared, "Runt."

"Dragon food," Hiei reached for the bandage around his arm.

Kuwabara freaked out and dove under the table. I immediately ran to where Tundra was for protection against the idiot. Tundra seemed to be confused and Terminator was quite amused. Autumn, Yusuke, Flash, and Hinote started laughing at Kuwabara. Kurama crossed off Kuwabara's name on the score sheet. Thorn rolled her eyes.

"Well, who's next?" Thorn asked.

Autumn raised her arm, "ME!"

"I'll go. I'm going to get my revenge against you!" Yusuke pointed and glared at Autumn.

Kurama nodded and wrote down the names, "Alright."

"Begin!" Thorn yelled, doing a little dance for no reason.

"Baka onna!" Yusuke yelled at Autumn.

Autumn glared at Yusuke, "Defective detective."

"Inu." Yusuke sneered.

Thorn was watching Kurama carefully. Kurama was gripping the pen tightly and watching the round. The rest of us were watching to see who'd come up with the best insult.

"Elephant following pooper scooper," Autumn leaned back in her chair. She looked sort of bored.

Yusuke raised an eyebrow, "Psycho..."

"Why thank you, Mr. Mort the Chicken." (A.N: It's a video game. Don't own it.)

"Mental hospital escapee," Yusuke pointed at Autumn accusingly.

"Homicidal hobo bent on world domination by genetically altering Brussels sprouts to follow your every command."

"What the hell?!" Yusuke yelled.

Autumn pointed, "HA! That wasn't an insult! I win, you lose! Game over, monkey!"

"Damn!" Yusuke crossed his arms and frowned.

Thorn had taken a liking to her position as announcer, "And Autumn is the winner!"

"Well, there's a surprise." Flash rolled her eyes.

Autumn went to look over Kurama's shoulder as he crossed off Yusuke's name. "Congratulations." Kurama said to her.

"Thank you, Fan girl magnet." Autumn nodded and smiled.

Kurama rolled his eyes, "Getting ready for the next round?"

"Nah just felt like bothering you. Yusuke, abandon your chair. I'm sitting there now." Autumn pointed at Yusuke.

Yusuke smirked, "You want to sit next to your boyfriend?"

"No, I want to sit somewhere safe. Sitting between Flash and Hinote during their match is not good for my health. I won't kick Hiei out of his chair because he's violent and I won't kick Kuwabara out of his chair because it's diseased since he touched it." Autumn answered.

"You may sit here if you'd like." Kurama suggested, getting up from his chair and offering it to Autumn.

Autumn squealed and sat down, "I'm sitting in a chair that Kurama was sitting in! Ah, warmth left over from Kurama!"

"Enough with the fan girl stuff!" Flash threw a roll at Autumn.

Kurama pulled a chair between Hiei and Autumn. He then sat down and prepared his score sheet for the third match. Autumn poked his hand while he was writing. He stopped and looked at her.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"You write too neatly. I'm trying to get you to mess up." Autumn explained.

Kurama made a dot on the paper with the ink, "Better?"

"Almost...The paper's too plain." Autumn took the pen and drew a little fox with four tails on the top of the page. She wrote next to the fox, 'Fox boy's score keeping list of DOOM'. She handed Kurama back the pen, "That's better."

Kurama chuckled slightly. Thorn grinned at them, "If you two lovebirds are done flirting, we can start the match."

"Go ahead." Kurama stated and looked down in embarrassment. Autumn did the same.

Thorn nodded and yelled, "Begin!"

"You won't win, knave." Flash pointed out.

Hinote glared, "I am not a knave, coconut cream pie."

"Give up or I'll kill you, idiot."

"You can't scare me, moosenberry pie."

"Moron."

"Cheese."

"Loser."

"You have no life."

"At least I'm not obsessed with cheese, fairy boy."

"Mean person."

"Crybaby."

"Violent."

"Sissy."

"Insane."

"How long do you think this will last?" Yusuke asked Autumn.

Autumn sat back in her chair, "Well, considering the fact that both of them are extremely stubborn and hate losing...Maybe a few hours."

"A few hours?!" Yusuke hissed.

Autumn shrugged, "Either that or things will get violent."

"How violent are we talking?" Yusuke asked.

"Seeing as how there are knives close to Flash and considering that Hiei's katana, which Kurama left in the corner by the animals, is also within Flash's reach, I'd say it'll get pretty damn violent." Autumn nodded.

Yusuke grinned, "Sounds like it'll be entertaining."

"Hopefully it won't come to that. If it does we'll stop them." Kurama said.

Yusuke frowned, "There he goes again, ruining my fun."

"If one of them doesn't lose within the next three minutes, I'm going to call it a tie." Thorn announced as she came over to the others.

"But what about the violence?!" Yusuke whined.

Autumn stuck a fork in Yusuke's hair, "Violent enough for you?"

"How is that...? ITAI! This damn fork is stuck!" Yusuke started struggling to get the fork out of his hair. He finally pulled it out along with a clump of his hair. He turned to glare at Autumn, "I will have my revenge."

"Ah, excellent choice, sir. Would you like fries with that?" Autumn mocked.

Thorn put her hand on Autumn's head, "You know what, kid? I like you. I have a feeling that this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

"Wife beater!" Hinote yelled at Flash.

"He-who-has-no-brain is running out of insults." Flash pointed out.

"Silence non-worshipper of cheese!" Hinote pointed at her.

Thorn put her hands up, "Because I'm getting bored with this round, I will declare it a tie!"

"Hn." Flash crossed her arms.

Hinote was still going on, "Hiei obsessed fan girl!"

"What?!" Flash glared at Hinote.

Autumn shook her head, "Hang on! Flash isn't a fan girl!"

"That's right." Flash nodded.

Autumn pointed, "Flash can't be a fan girl because one of the major parts of fan girl-ness is the fan girl squeal. Flash doesn't squeal. So you see, while Flash may be completely obsessed with Hiei and go crazy every time she sees a shirtless picture of him, she is not technically a fan girl."

"Gee, thanks a lot Autumn." Flash glared.

Autumn grinned, "You're welcome!"

"So we've got two girls that are obsessed with Hiei traveling with us." Yusuke observed.

Hiei growled. Hinote thought out loud, "Yeah, but Hiei hates Margaret. Flash might have a chance though. Both of them are violent, antisocial, and short!"

"Call me that again and I'll kill you." Hiei and Flash said at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise, then crossed their arms and looked away. Everyone started laughing.

Flash picked up Hiei's katana and held it threateningly while glaring at everyone. Hinote and Autumn quickly stopped laughing. Hinote dove under the table and Autumn clung to Kurama.

"She's gonna kill us!!" Autumn yelled.

Kurama sweat dropped. Thorn stopped laughing and cooed at Autumn and Kurama, "Aw! You two look so cute together."

"So when does the next round start?" Flash asked as she gave the katana to Hiei. Autumn let go of Kurama and glared at Thorn.

Thorn looked at the table. "It'll start as soon as these dishes are done. I know, whoever helps me gets a sugar cookie!"

Autumn and Hinote hurriedly rushed into the kitchen with a bunch of dishes. Kurama also picked up some dishes and brought them to the kitchen. Thorn brought the rest. After a while all the dishes were cleaned and everyone except Margaret, who was still off crying somewhere, was gathered in the living room. Terminator was on the back of the couch, Tundra was near Hinote, and I was under the coffee table. Kurama was sitting on the mat he had been at before. Autumn was sitting on the arm of the couch; Yusuke and Kuwabara were sitting on mats near Kurama. Flash and Hinote were on the couch and Hiei was standing in the corner.

"The rules for this round are simple: the first match will be chosen randomly. The winner of that match will then go on to face a randomly chosen opponent and the winner of that match will face the final person. All the rules from before apply. Let the final round begin!" Thorn announced as she took out a hat that had names in it. She chose two names from the hat and gave them to Kurama.

"The first match will be...Hinote vs. Hiei!" Kurama read from the papers.