Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ What the YYH Gang Does Offset ❯ Koenma really is a baby...four chicks dancing in front of the whole gang...what could be better? ( Chapter 2 )

What the YYH Gang does offset: Number 2

DE: HIYAAAAAA!!!!!!! We're at KK's again! But this time we have EBD!!

All: WOOT WOOT!!!

TC: So we have KK, EBD, DE, and myself!!!

KK: What I do for you guys… (rolls eyes)

EBD: But you know you love us!! ^_^

KK: >_>;; Fruitcake..

DE: What're you sayin, you fruitcake? YOU'RE FRUITY!!

TC: I'm not a fruitcake!

KK: No, you're a vegetable cake.

EBD: (jumps up and down) BANANA!!!!

KK: Last time I give you people caffeine…and sugar…

DE: You know you can't stop us from having some!!!

KK: It's my story and my computer and everything! And my floppy disk!

EBD: So? And your point is…?

DE: Okay, so we just got back from Dollar Tree about an hour ago, and we watched YYH DVD's and ate oreo's and had BLOW POPS!!!!!

TC: (jumps up and down) BLOW POPS ROCK!!!!!

EBD: (snickers)

KK: I don't like blow pops…

DE: O_O; BLOW POPS ARE FUN!!!!!

Everyone but DE: (crack)

KK: That sounds like blow job…

DE: …………………………̷ 0; (smacks KK)

TC: DE, remember yesterday?

DE: (giggles) Yeah, that was fun!!!

EBD: What happened?

TC: We were walking over to KK's and DE saw a green-

DE: I saw a green bead on the sidewalk, and I was like, "Hey, there's a green bead in the crack!" And we just started cracking up! And it didn't help that we just passed by a garage full of three hott guys… and we just passed when they said, "Hey girls!" And I just smiled around and I was going to say, "HIIIIII!" but instead I just kept walking... --_--

KK: WHO WANTS BLOW POPS?!

All: BLOW POPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KK: Oh shit! (runs away with blow pops)

TC: GET BACK HERE! (chases KK)

KK: (runs upstairs and starts throwing blow pops down the stairs)

TC: (runs downstairs and grabs blow pops)

EBD: (runs out and falls over trying to get blow pops)

DE: GIVE ME BLOW POPS!!!!!!

TC: Do you want cherry or grape?

EBD: (throws a cherry blow pop at DE)

DE: Guess I got one. ^_^

TC: Yay! Another blow pop!

DE: GIVE ME BLOW POP!!!!!!

KK: (grabs blow pop) Whoever gets it first!!! (throws it away from the group)\

DE: MIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs after blow pop…comes back over) Out, EBD! I type! I'm too fast; you guys can't type fast. = P

EBD: (moves out) I'm fast enough!

DE: Yeah, like, twenty-five words per minute!!!

EBD: That's not right! I'm faster than that!

TC: Uh, you sure about that?

EBD: >_>;;; Okay, time me!

DE: Uh, I don't think KK has a typing program we can use right now…

EBD: Damn it!

DE: What is KK doing, anyways?

TC: Uh, she's out in the living room…

All: (look out)

KK: (is dancing to The Middle by Jimmy Eat World)

All but KK: (slowly back away against the wall)

KK: COME JOIN ME!!!!!!

EBD: Uh, okay!! I'll join ya!! (materializes a mallet)

KK: OH CRAP!!! (runs)

EBD: HAHAHAHA!!!!! (chases KK)

DE: >_>;;;;;;; Okay, anyways, DISCLAIMER TIME!!!!!!!!

TC: We do not own YYH or any characters. I own myself, EBD owns herself, DE owns herself, and KK's another story.

DE: (cracks up)

EBD: (comes back with KK)

KK: (has a few bumps on her head)

TC: (rocking back and forth in a rocking chair) WEE! PURPLE DOT!!

DE: >_>;;; I don't know you people…. And anyways-

EBD: BANANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DE: o_o;;; Okay, on with the laughter!!!!!!!

Koenma: Damn all this paper work! I hate paper work. Why can't Father do it himself??? (makes a face and eyes bulge out) Oh shit!! (blushes) That did not just happen! Umm…GEORGE!!!

George: Yes, sir?

Koenma: Get me Yoko!!!

George: Yes shit. I mean! Sir! (runs out and gets Yoko)

Koenma: …I really need a new person for his job…

Yoko: (walks in) You wanted to see me?

Koenma: Yes. Since you're older than anyone else, almost, I figured you'd have experience in this department…

Yoko: O_o What?

Koenma: I NEED MY DIAPER CHANGED!!!!!!!!!!

Yoko: O_O;;; Uh, okay, I guess…(follows Koenma into a back room and starts changing his diaper)

DE: Yoko?! Where the hell are you?! I need to talk to you!!! (hears something from the back room) Eh? (walks to the back room) HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!! O_O

Koenma: NO, YOU DON'T DO THAT! OW! THAT HURT! YOU'RE TOO ROUGH!!!

Yoko: I'm trying my best!

DE: (stands next to Yoko) Let me take over. Obviously, you have no idea what's going on…

Yoko: Gladly. (moves over)

Koenma: Oh God, spare me!!!

DE: Oh shut up! You're not supposed to be a baby, dork! (starts changing Koenma's diaper)

Koenma: But you're a girl! >_>;; (continues to whine)

DE: Well, you just distracted yourself complaining.

Koenma: Huh??? (looks down and notices he's got a clean diaper on) OH!!!

DE: Yeah, never underestimate a chick. Especially me.

Yoko: You're talented with those hands. (smirks)

DE: (blushes) Yeah, your point…?

Koenma: >_>;;; Okay, I think I hear people looking for me… (leaves back room)

Yoko: It smells like shit in here.

DE: You can say that again.

Yoko: Then let's leave. (carries DE back to his house, but passes through Koenma's office)

Touya: O_o;;

Jin: o_O;;

Koenma: o_o;;

Touya: GO YOKO!!!!!

Jin: SCORE, DUDE!!!!

Koenma: >_>;; I don't know you people…

(DE: EBD's going to kill me for this, but I really don't care…she doesn't know I'm writing this until after I finish it… =^_^= I'm so evil! Oh, and also, no offense to you Botan people.. I just had to do something, and Botan seemed like a good get-away thingy yeah… ^_^; )

Botan: Hey, Jin!

Jin: Um, hi…

Botan: ^_^ What're you doing tonight?

Jin: Uh, not too sure… Probably hanging out with EBD.

Botan: Would you like to do something with me?? (cuddles up to Jin)

Jin: >_>;;; What're you doing?

Botan: (sniffles and pulls away) I couldn't get Kurama, because he fell in love with DE. I can't be with Koenma because he's a toddler.

Jin: So you're going with me?

Botan: You're the third on my list.

Jin: >_>;; I don't wanna know…

Botan: (cuddles up to Jin again) But you're cute! ^_^;

Jin: Uh, Botan, you're scaring me.

Botan: Well perhaps if you'd do something with me tonight, you wouldn't!

Jin: FINE! Grrrrrr…

*~*Later…*~*

EBD: (goes over to Jin's house and knocks on the door, but doesn't get an answer, so she goes inside) Jin?? Where are you?

Jin: OH SHIT!!! GET OFFA ME!! DAMN IT!!!

EBD: O_o (walks to Jin's room and sees Botan on top of Jin) O_O O_O O_O JIN, HOW COULD YOU?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!!!!!! (runs off crying)

Jin: Damn it! EBD!!! (pushes Botan off of him and runs after EBD)

Botan: (sniffles) I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME, JIN!!!!

Jin: (doesn't hear Botan…follows EBD into the forest) EBD!! Let me explain what just happened!!!

EBD: (runs blindly into a tree) OOF! (falls to the ground) ow…

Jin: (catches up to EBD and holds her) EBD, I'm sorry…truly, I am…

EBD: What were you doing with her?

Jin: She forced me into it.

EBD: But…(sniffles)

Jin: Just shush. (cuddles EBD)

Botan: (jumps on Jin's back) YOU LEFT ME!! (has fake tears)

Jin: BOTAN, YOU'RE DEAD!!!

Botan: EEP!! (runs)

EBD: GET BACK HERE, YOU FREAK!!! (chases Botan)

Botan: (runs into a lake)

EBD: (follows, but is in white (btw, white+water=SEE THROUGH!!!! =^_^=)…punches Botan, then throws her out of the water)

Jin: (stares at EBD and drools) @_@

EBD: (walks over to Jin) What? Why are you looking at me like you're possessed?

Jin: (still drooling, carries EBD to his room) = D''''' that's drooling, just so you know…

KK: (is listening to The Middle by Jimmy Eat World…again…)

TC and EBD: (are dancing with KK)

DE: TEACH ME!!!!!

All: OKAY!! (show her moves from IC which is Internal Combustion which is our 9th grade show choir, and if you saw they're '04 competition, they KICKED ASS!!!!!! FIRST PLACE! OH YEAH!!)

Guys: (walk in for a relaxing break after shooting hard fighting scenes) O_O

Girls: (dancing with really kick-ass moves in the middle of the room)

Guys: O_O (drool)

KK: (sings along) IT JUST TAKES SOME TIME LITTLE GIRL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RIDE! EVERYTHING EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE! EVERYTHING EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT ALLRIGHT!!

Girls: (snap fingers while dancing)

Guys: (get sodas and popcorn and continue to watch the wonderful spectacle of womanhood in front of them)

Yusuke: This is better than any porn movie!!!

Yoko: There's only one thing missing…

Kuronue: I know what you mean.

Kuwabara: What??

Yoko: They are wearing clothes. That sucks.

Kuronue: Yeah, that bites, man. (eats popcorn)

Girls: (oblivious to the guys and continue to dance)

KK: The repeat button is god. I'm glad I figured out how to work it!

DE: What the hell are you talking about?! I taught you how to repeat!!

EBD: And then you got on your knees and bowed down to her and screamed, "YOU ARE GODDESS!!!"

TC: VULGAR IMAGES!!!!!!

KK: What the hell?

Hiei, Touya, and Jin: (walk in and start drooling)

Yoko: We have popcorn, drinks, and buckets for your drool.

Karasu: (walks in and sees girls) MY EYES, MY EYES! MY VIRGIN EYES!!!!!

DE: (stops dancing) I just heard virgin!!!!

KK: Karasu? Virgin? NO WAY IN HELL!!!

TC: HOLY CRAP!!!!!! GUYS ALL AROUND THE CLOCK!!!!

EBD: Are those buckets full of…drool…?

KK: I feel so violated!

DE: (dances again) Oh, c'mon, girls! It's fun when you have an audience like them!!

KK: Alright then, let's put on a little `show!' (starts dancing again also)

TC: I'm too much of a virgin to put on a `show!' (leaves)

Touya: (follows TC and mutters) We'll soon fix that…

EBD: I better go warn her… (follows TC)

Jin: (follows EBD with an interesting glow in his eyes)

DE and KK: (still dancing)

Kuronue: (drooling)

Yoko and Hiei: HOW DARE YOU DROOL AT OUR WOMEN! (whack Kuronue over the head, knocking him out)

Karasu: Aw, he looks so cute knocked out! Can I have him?

Hiei and Yoko: (look at each other evilly)

Hiei: Sure.

Yoko: Why not..?

Karasu: YAY!! ^_^

DE: They'll be having fun tonight…

KK: OR will feel so violated…oh well! What the heck?! (keeps dancing with DE)

Karasu: (drags Kuronue away)

DE: (still dancing damnit!) WOOT WOOT, CHEAP POP+PIZZA+SUGAR=DANCE FEVER!!!!! (dances like a crazy person)

Yoko: (gets up and dirty dances with DE)

DE: (blushes)

KK: Hey, no dirty dancing here, Mister!!!

Hiei: (gets up and follows Yoko's moves with KK)

KK: Nevermind…

*~*Later…*~*

Yoko: (picks up DE and carries her off to a private room)

Hiei: (does the same with KK)

DE: TCCC!!!!!!!

EBD: I need to go peeeeeeeeee!

DE: Hey, that rhymed!!!

All: O_o;;;;

DE: Then go already!

EBD: I can't, because the bathroom is being held up by TC and Touya.

DE: OOOOOOO! (runs to the bathroom door and knocks) GO TC!!!! GO TOUYA!!!! HAVE A LOT OF FUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!! (runs back into the other room)

Jin: (overheard everything and runs up to the bathroom door) YOU THE MAN, TOUYA!!!

EBD: Okay, now he's scaring me…

Jin: (wraps arms around EBD's waist) Ya sure about that, eh?

EBD: (blushes) HEY!!! They're out now!!! (runs to the bathroom)

KK: Uhhh, what's going on?

DE: EBD had to go to the bathroom, but TC and Touya were having a bit of um…"fun"!

KK: OOOOOOHHHHHHH! GO TOUYA!!! GO TC!!!!! Finally she turns like us!!!

Touya: >_>;;; Um, we're married, you know…

KK: So? Hiei and I are mated. I mean, oops!!!!!

TC: Uh, didn't really need to know that, KK…

DE: (runs up to Yoko) WHY HAVEN'T YOU MARKED ME?!

Yoko: ^_^;; Waiting for the right time.

DE: (pouts)

KK: Aw, DE's pouting!!

EBD: (comes out) Why are you guys yelling? Why is DE pouting? What's going on??

KK: Oh, they're just talking about marking.

TC: (clueless) Do you mean with a permanent marker?

DE: No, that's dotting. DOTS!!!!! (starts dotting things)

TC: Ooops… didn't mean to do that!!

EBD: Well, Jin's already marked me!!

DE: (stops dotting and pouts again)

Everyone but DE, EBD, and Jin: REALLY?!

KK: Iiiiinnnteresting… So that's what you guys were doing last night! I really wish your trailer was next to mine…

Hiei: You can sleep in my trailer. (looks seductive)

Jin: (blushes a bright red-as red as his hair)

Touya: Uh, well, I just marked TC, but I was also helping her with something in there.

KK: Uh huh, suuuuuuuurrrrrre you were. You were helping her have ba-

TC: (pelts KK with her claws)

KK: OW, DAMN IT!!!!

DE: (still pouts)

Yoko: (wraps arms around DE's waist) You can't stay mad at me forever…

DE: HMPH!! (pulls away from Yoko)

KK: Aaaawww, poor Yoko! You really hurt her…

Yoko: I would mark her now, but you people are here and she's mad at me.

Everyone but DE and Yoko: O_O;; (run outside but watch through a window in the bushes)

DE: Well, that's all!!!

KK: BUT WE HAVEN'T DONE GENKAI YET!!!!

EBD: That sounded so wrong KK…

KK: (waves hands in front of self) THAT DIDN'T MEAN WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE!!!

TC: Huh?

KK: Nevermind… you're too innocent to know…

DE: Okay, well, here's the end…

EBD: STRAWBERRIES!!!!!!!

TC: SALAD!!!

DE: STRAWBERRIES ARE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (smacks EBD)

KK: We still have to make fun of Genkai!!

DE: Umm, I thought you said not to… (nudges KK)

KK: Shut up and type, damn it!

TC: Whatever. ONWARDS!!!!! PURPLE DOT!!!!

EBD: (jumps up and down) BANANA BANANA BANANA!!!!!

DE: BACK TO THE ENDING!! Sorry, but you'll find out about Genkai later! I'm tired… good night! (runs off)

KK: YAY!! SHE'S ASLEEP!! (goes to the computer and tries to type it up)

DE: (runs out and tackles KK) STAY AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!!!!!!

KK: But we have to finish this!

DE: Do you not know why I'm nudging you, dimwit!!

KK: >_>;;

DE: NOT LIKE THAT!!!!! Jeez..

TC: Okay, ending…thank you for reading, and pl-

EBD: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!

TC: YOU STOLE MY LINE!!! (tackles EBD)

EBD: OOF!!!!

DE: I really do not know you people…

KK: EVILNESS TO GENKAI!!!!!!!

DE: Grrrrrr!! How stupid are you?! KK, this is a fake ending!!!!!

KK: Oh…

DE: It was EBD's idea…

KK: EBD!!!!!!! (tackles EBD)

EBD: (dodges by jumping to Mars in five minutes)

TC: Bye, EBD! See you in eleven days!!!

EBD: (lands on TC) Or sooner

DE: >_>;; On with Genkai!!

KK: FINALLY!!!!!! (bows down before DE) YOU ARE GODDESS!!!

DE: >_>;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Yusuke: (walks into Genkai's computer room) What ya doin, grandma?

Genkai: Nothing that concerns you, bastard.

Yusuke: Whoa, easy there, old hag. Surely you're doing something…(looks at computer and sees something and is now traumatized)

Genkai: I told you it's nothing that concerns you. (kicks Yusuke out and evil grins)

Yusuke: (stiff and twitching, goes to tell Kurama what he saw)

Kurama: Lesbians Anonymous?! I'm sure you just read it wrong…

Yoko: Did it have pictures?

DE: Yoko!!! (tackles Yoko and sits on him and won't get up)

Yusuke: O_o;;

Kurama: (sigh) We should respect Genkai's privacy.

Keiko: You mean Genkai's a lesbian too? I mean, OOOPS!!!!! YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT!! (runs off cackling insanely)

Yusuke: Oh well, I guess I'm available now. I wonder if Yukina will go out with me…

Hiei: (pops out of nowhere) Touch my sister and die.

KK: (pokes Yukina)

Yukina: How sweet of you, Hiei! Protecting your sister!

KK: (smacks forehead) You are so oblivious.

EBD: Yukina's too innocent… even more innocent than TC…

Yusuke: I can change that… (evil grin)

All but Yukina and Yusuke: (beat Yusuke)

TC: Now here's the real ending!!

DE: Yeah, I think we finally ran out of ideas for this one. And considering it's already twelve pages…

EBD: Nah, that will never happen. We always get more ideas and vulgar images!!

KK: Stay tuned for our next sugar-induced fanfic!!!

TC: REVIEW, PEEPS!!!!!!!!!!

EBD: PEEPS!! WHERE?! (snicker)

TC: PURPLE DOT!!!!!!!!

KK: QUICK!!! REVIEW!!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!! FEAR FOR YOUR SANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!

DE: (shakes head and thinks about Yoko) …review…please…or I'll sick Yoko on you…and get Karasu to do um… "stuff" to you… (evil grin)

KK: That's hitting below the belt..

DE: Exactly where I like to be…on Yoko!!!! =^_^=

KK: (shakes head) …review…