Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ When Fairy Tales Attack!! ❯ Sleeping Hiei Part VI ( Chapter 7 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

When Fairy Tales Attack!!

CoWritten by: Tuathafaerie and Nenagh24

Disclaimer: We don’t own Yu Yu Hakusho, Disney films, or the Brother’s Grimm. Note that any actual dialog taken from the movies might be interspersed without identification and that this disclaimer applies to any such lines. Please do not sue because of it.

Note: Any slandering of said Disney films or fairy tales is author intrusion and fully intentional. Enjoy!

I think the formatting may be off on these two chapters, but what the hay. I don't have time to fix them. Hopefully everything is still there.

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Chapter 7

Rewind:

Kurama: (sweatdrop) Um, Hiei? You’re supposed to be asleep now…

Hiei: Hn.

Play:

Keiko: Come on, Hiei, it's only for a little while. Just close your eyes and give out fake snores or something.

Hiei: I don't snore, baka onna.

Yusuke: (rolls eyes) Whatever. If shorty is too afraid to pretend, well then, just leave him alone.

Hiei: (glares at Yusuke) Hn. Fine. (closes eyes and emits snore like sounds)

Kurama: (internally) Never underestimate the power of the insult.

Youko: (internally) Yeah, you pink-haired freak!

Kurama: (internally; sigh) I'm too smart to respond to that...It's red, though.

Youko: (internally; smirk) Suuuure.

Thinking Hiei asleep, Kuwabara returns with Yukina. They wait for a few moments in silence, then finally become impatient. Or Kuwabara becomes impatient. Yukina could care less.

Kuwabara: Hey, Koenma! We need Toguro back for this scene! Where is he?

Koenma: Oh boy. (sigh) Genkai!

Genkai: (sticks head into room) What is it, baby breath?

Koenma: (to self) Why did I think this was a good idea? (to Genkai) We need Toguro back here pronto!

Genkai: Yeah, yeah, don't lose your diaper. (Delivers sleeping Toguro to Kuwabara and Yukina)

Kuwabara: Hey! What are we supposed to do with this?!

Genkai: (shrug) Draw squiggles on his face? I've got some markers.

Kuwabara: That sounds fun! (Goes to take a marker but is stopped by Yukina)

Yukina: Um, dear, I think we need to move on with the script.

Hiei: (eyes wide open) WHAT was that?!! (Keiko and Yusuke pounce on a struggling Hiei)

Kuwabara: Oh, all right, my candy cane, my peppermint delight!

Genkai: This is sickening. Call me when you want to move him, or just make fun of him. (leaves)

Yukina: Um, well...what's so important that you came to see us, King Toguro?

Toguro: (snorts in sleep) ...

Kuwabara: Banshees are gunning the castle?! Quick, to the battle chambers!! (pulls out infamous headband of love!!) [an: stylish...]

Yusuke: (groans) I thought he had lost that.

Kurama: Maybe he kept it for momento's sake?

Yukina: Actually, I think that was Botan is gone from the castle.

Kuwabara: Oh, well, if that's all...

Yukina: (gently)That might be a problem though, remember? Prince Hiei is coming home tonight to meet his bride.

Kuwabara: I still don't see-

Yukina: Who is Princess Botan.

Kuwabara: Oh..um..yeah, that might be a problem. Why'd you let her go, Toguro?

Toguro: ...

Keiko: You know, for an evil guy, he's insanely cute when he's sleeping.

Yusuke: What?!! I'm cute too!

Keiko: (rolls eyes)

Yusuke: (finishes lowly, grumbling) when I'm sleeping.

Kuwabara: (sweatdrop) I'm not sure I got that, Toguro.

Koenma: Argh! Too painful a sight!! How much stupidity can I stand?! He's asleep!! Move on, for goodness sakes!! (throws pacifier at George)

George: Yeow!! What do you put in that thing? Lead? Anyways, the sun has set, make ready to welcome your prince!

Kurama: Right...so...

Keiko: (dramatic sigh) Poor King Kuwabara and Queen Yukina.

Yusuke: (looks at "sleeping" Hiei) I don't really think they'll miss him.

Hiei looks angry put restrains himself, thinking that Yusuke is not worth the trouble. Kurama quickly steps in.

Kurama: Well, they're not going to find out.

Yusuke: Oh, please! Can't I tell them! I want to see Kuwabara's face when he realizes Hiei isn't really gone!

Hiei: (glaring)

Keiko: Close your eyes!

Kurama: No. We're going to put them to sleep, too!

Yusuke: Really?! I'm so excited! Wait...won't Hiei be mad if Yukina is asleep?

Kurama: (sweatdrop) They'll wake up when Hiei does.

Yusuke: Darn.

Keiko, Yusuke, and Kurama walk over to Kuwabara, Yukina and Toguro. [an: ahh! too many names!] As Toguro is already asleep, no one worries about him. Yukina obligingly lays down and closes her eyes, but Kuwabara remains staring dumbly at the three before him.

Keiko: Come on, Kuwabara, you have to go to sleep!

Kuwabara: (blankly) I'm not tired.

Yusuke: (sigh) Okay, enough is enough! (slams Kuwabara in the back of the head.)

Kuwabara: (slumps)

Yusuke: Right, let's get on with this!

Kurama: (hovering near Toguro) Where's Princess Botan?

Toguro: ...

Kurama: (seemingly surprised) Met a peasant boy, you say?

Toguro: ...

Kurama: Once upon a dream? Are you sure?

Toguro: ... .......

Kurama: (nods) Of course we'll yell at Genkai for you. And accuse her of hanging out with your slimy brother. See you later!

Yusuke and Keiko: Uhhh....

Kurama: Well, come on, we've got to go find Botan! Obviously Hiei and she have met before. (marches off)

Yusuke: (ear close to Toguro) How'd he...?

Keiko: Hear anything?

Yusuke: Wait! What's that?...Oh, no, just some gargling. Eww.

Keiko: Kurama is weird.

Lights come up on the other side of the stage, where Kurama is walking in. Curses are heard as Keiko and Yusuke move across in the dark, tripping over the unconscious Kuwabara along the way. They finally arrive to where Kurama is standing. The three watch as Botan strides forward.

Yusuke: Right. There she is. Can we go and get her?

Kurama: Not yet. She has to be taken first.

Yusuke: Man, you're strange. First talking with Toguro, and now just sitting by while the only hope at reviving Hiei...hang on. Okay, I agree, let's just sit here.

Botan: Hey!

Hiei: Bakas.

Botan: (looks towards hut, then back at Yusuke) We'll settle this later, fairy boy!

Yusuke: I am 100 percent MALE! Stop treating me like a pansy!

Botan: (smirks and enters hut)

Genkai: Well, just waltz right in like you own the place, why don't you?!

Botan: (glances at script) Whoops! Guess I was supposed to knock...haha.

Genkai: (rolls eyes) Whatever, just get your butt in here.

Botan: (hesitates, looking at her outfit, crafted by the one and only, Youko Kurama, made to endure steel, fire, and hot sauce stains! Contact your local chains for more information on this stunning black beauty of an even-)

Kurama: (internally) Youko! Stop doing that!

Youko: (internally; muttering) Stupid "Shuichi"...always ruins my life. First I'm stuck in this body, now I have to behave...

Botan: (unnerved) Well, I was just wondering, do you think you can tie me up nicely so we don't ruin the dress.

Genkai: Sure, I don't mind. (wraps rope a few times loosely around Botan's wrists) There you go! Now, just follow me and I'll set you up in one of my dungeon rooms, first class!

Yusuke: (eyes popping) WHAT?!! Inconceivable! Are you sure that's Genkai?

Genkai: Mistress of all evil!

Yusuke: Whatever, grandma.

Genkai: (veins pop) Dimwit! This is going to cost you! 1000 kilos!

Yusuke: Ahh! My back will break!! How am I supposed to do that! It's not physically possible!

Genkai: (smirks) Now, what am I?

Yusuke: (grumbling) "The mistress of all evil"...

Genkai: Right. Don't you forget it! Come along, Botan. (The two walk out of the hut)

Yusuke: ...great-uppity-times-removed-granny.

Kurama: (acting again; gasp) Genkai!

Yusuke: Big whoop. She just left the room, genius!

Kurama: (seriously considering violence) She-must-have-taken-Princess-Botan-to-the-forbidden-mountain.

Hiei: There's a forbidden mountain? (muses) Maybe it was made for me...

Keiko: (obviously fake drama) But...we can't go there!!

Kurama: (gives up) Yes, we can...but do you think I might go by myself?

Everyone: (conscious, that is) ?-?

Kurama: (sighs) Never mind. Let's just go.

Genkai is leading Botan to a plush cell room. Botan examines the surrounding finery with an eye for detail. The tassels are especially "ohhed" and "ahhed" over.

Genkai: Not bad, huh? This cell was redecorated to match the finest accommodations in any five-star luxury hotel! As you can see, we're not much on view, but we've got a lovely swimming pool on the lower level that leads out to a patio where many find it entertaining to play volleyball and shuffleboard.

Botan: This is quite nice! I really like the plush pillows! So soft and velvety.

Yusuke: I don't believe this!

Genkai: (nods) Yes, I brought those from the old shrine room in the temple. Since I wasn't using them, I thought they might at least be enjoyed here. (grabs a remote) Would you like to check out our satellite dish capabilities?

Botan: Ohh, sure! I've only got crappy cable at home.

Genkai: (flips on the television) Let's see...news, news, more news, some stand up comedy, football, news, weather, even more news, MXC, I really like that one, um, court tv, oh! This is good! Live feed into Koenma's bedroom. Look, there's us! Wave to the camera!

Botan: (scans ceiling for camera but finds none; shrugs)

Koenma: There are satellite feeds into my bedroom?!!

George: Uh, yes, sir. It seems your father wanted to be able to keep an eye on you.

Koenma: Stupid OOM. [an: this is an actual abbreviation. people really do use it, though you don't have to believe me.]

George: Oom? Like, um, boom?

Koenma: No, Old old man! Now bug off! (angry mutters)

George: (to self) It's getting really dangerous to work here.

Botan: Who else can we see?

Genkai: Well, there's Hiei over there. Let's see if we can zoom in.

Hiei is trying to remain perfectly calm, though inwardly he is freaked out about being on the television, whatever that was.

Botan: (squeals) Oh, yeah! There he is! Look, the funny spiky hair and all. Though you have to admit, he's really well built, and even though he's short, he's really cute! (finds everyone staring) Um, I mean, um, stupid Hiei...

Hiei: (smirking on tv and across room) Nice cover up, onna.

Botan: (blushing) Shut up!

Genkai: (the evil grin back in place) Right, maybe I should just hurry you out of here, so you can get to the part where you have to kiss Hiei.

Botan: (embarrassed) No! I mean, I like this room a lot! I wouldn't want to cut short my stay!

Hiei: (thinking) Maybe it won't be too bad...

Yusuke: (laughing) Don't worry, Botan, we'll get you out of there soon enough!

Keiko: (hissing) Shut up! Genkai will hear you!

Genkai: (rolls eyes) This bedroom has way too good acoustics. I heard both of you. To bad I can't sick my "crow" thing on you stupid fairies.

Yusuke: Excuse me! I prefer "Magical Creature-Class D". I'm no fairy!

Keiko: This again...

Kurama: (thoughtful) What ever happened to Puu?

Yusuke: I don't know. Maybe Flyr took him or something.

Genkai: Actually, I gave him some markers to draw on Toguro.

Everyone: -.-u

Puu: (making squeaky sounds) [an: well, it's really the marker, but whatever.]

Genkai: What?! Fine, fine. (gathers up Puu) Well, with Toguro finally punished for leaving me at the altar, maybe I'll get some good sleep tonight.

Botan: He left you at the altar? I never knew that!

Yusuke: That had to have been at least fifty years ago! You're way behind on your beauty sleep, grandma!

Genkai: (casually) 2000 kilos. (walks out of bedroom)

Yusuke: Whahh! Why do I even open my mouth any more! (grabs a stapler) Maybe this will help!

Keiko hits Yusuke before he can cause himself too much harm.