Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ When Fairy Tales Attack!! ❯ Intermission: Part Two ( Chapter 18 )

When Fairy Tales Attack!!

CoWritten by: Tuathafaerie and Nenagh24

Disclaimer: We don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Disney films, or the Brother's Grimm. Note that any actual dialog taken from the movies might be interspersed without identification and that this disclaimer applies to any such lines. Please do not sue because of it.

Note: Any slandering of said Disney films or fairy tales is author intrusion and fully intentional. Enjoy!

Whoa! It's ….the attack of the sillies!!! Everybody down!! Don't let them get you!!

((>")> ((>")> ((>")> ((>")> ((>")> Yes, watch them come marching on!!

………okay, after that amusing, um, interlude, let's get back to the real point. I've posted two chapters for you in one day, peoples! Happy? You'd better be! `Cause the sillies will get you, too!!! ….right…unfortunately, I've delayed working on my other fic because of this (boohoohoo!!) and maybe I'll start it tonight, but it might be a rough haul tomorrow to try and catch up, or an extra chapter on Saturday so I can call it even. Ho hum.

Now, please review!! I hit 100!! Whoo hoo! Thanks so much for getting me there! :)

Ps. Sakyo is the evil dude with the scar in the Dark Tournament, Toguro's boss. Just so ya know. He dies, big surprise. (Rhymeness!)

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Chapter 18

Rewind:

After bidding goodbye to his friends, Kurama tries to readjust himself to real life, heading for the carpeting store to replace the burnt spot in his mother's floor, with Youko singing happily in the back of his head, anticipating robbing Home Depot blind.

[an: And that is the end of Kurama Hood! It's finished!! Yay!! (does happy dance) Now I am ready to move on to my last Disney parody!! Should I tell you what it is? (eyes go speculative) Well…I will tell you it is my third favorite movie, how's that? (grins) If you guess it, you're pretty good! Anyways, stick around!! I've still got more to do!! Youko: I'm stealing things!! Yes!! Author: Uh…. Youko: Oooo! A gold shower head!! And some silver power tools!! They're mine!! Author: Riiighht. Never take Youko shopping…]

Play:

Okay, starting off with a jump in time. Or maybe, a step in time? [an: (sings) Never need a reason, never need a rhyme, everyone just step in time! (stops) Am I scaring you yet?] It's been two weeks since the last unfortunate outing to Renkai, enough time for the job fair to be held and several onis to be hired, replacing the poor lonely souls in the oni choir, who, by extreme luck and persistence, haven't died yet.

The spirit detective gang have assembled themselves at Botan's house, by invitation of the ferry girl, for a sleepover, celebrating her recent influx of furniture. She is in high spirits, due to the fact that she is finally once again sleeping on a bed, and welcomes her destructive teammates with open arms.

Keiko: (ringing doorbell) Now remember, Yusuke, you promised not to raid Botan's kitchen. We've brought our own snacks.

Yusuke: (holding boxes; rolls eyes) Yeah, yeah.

Kuwabara: (holding even more boxes) Oh, Yukina, my flittering fortress of love, I'm so glad you decided to come!

Yukina: (holding a two liter) Yes. I really wanted to see Botan's house. It's quite pretty on the outside.

Indeed, the house is in quite a different style than most of those in the city. Instead of having a contemporary appearance, it seems to have come straight from the Black Forest, in Germany, circa Hansel and Gretel. It is made of a strange durable material that at first glance appears to be wood. However, knowing Toguro, it is likely something quite different. The decorative gingerbread cutouts on the front porch give it a decidedly old world feel, and it is a good thing that the park trees shield it from automatic viewing, or the neighbors would likely begin a petition.

Botan: (opens door) Oh! There you all are! Come in!! (turns back) Hiei, get off the couch and come welcome the guests!!

Yusuke: (eyebrow up) What's Hiei doing here?

Botan: Well, he's the closest -

Hiei: And the fastest.

Botan: - so of course he was here first.

Yusuke: (perverted smirk) Unless he never left. (dodges both a Hiei glare and a Keiko whack) [an: amazing…]

Kuwabara: (dumping boxes on the floor) So Botan! Nice digs!

Botan: Uh…thanks? Anyways, put the food in the kitchen. We'll eat it later. (grabs Keiko and Yukina) Oh! I've got to show you the closets!! You can walk into them!!

The girls run off while two of the boys drag the food into the kitchen. Hiei just watches. When the doorbell rings again, the fire demon reluctantly answers it, seeing as no one else is going to.

Kurama: (carrying another box) Oh, hi Hiei! Has it started without me?

Hiei: Hn. You didn't miss much.

Kurama: (sweatdrop) Oookay. Well, could you let me in?

Hiei shrugs and stands aside, allowing the fox demon to enter the abode. Yusuke and Kuwabara come out of the kitchen with similar looks of glee, carrying two large pixie stick boxes. [an: You know, the ones at Sams.] Kurama takes one look at them, and decides that he is probably going to develop lung trouble with all the sighs he is releasing. Before he can comment, Botan, Keiko, and Yukina run back down the stairs, chatting excitedly.

Keiko: Man, Botan, it's the size of an elephant!!

Yukina: (smiles) You sure could fit a lot of people in it.

Botan: (pauses) Why would I want a lot of people in my bath tub?

Yukina: (still smiling) I don't know.

Botan: Uh…okay…(looks up) Oh! Kurama! Hello! I see you brought your stuff! Well, everyone's crashing in the living room tonight, so just leave it in here. I bought lots of extra pillows. Hiei picked some out himself!

Kurama: (blandly) From K-mart?

Botan: (nods distractedly) Well, now that everyone's here, we can start! What do you want to do?

Yusuke: (grins maniacally) Food competition!!!

Kuwabara: (just as deluded) Pixie Sticks!!

Keiko: (shakes her head) Good thing I bought a lot of those.

Kurama: Well, while they're, um, "competing", I have my Game Cube if anyone wants to play. (looks pointedly at Hiei) As long as there are no tantrums when you lose. Botan doesn't need holes in her floor, and Youko terrorized the poor people in Home Depot when I had to replace mom's.

Hiei: Hn.

Botan: (claps her hands, good mood still in place) Okay! If that's what you want to do, go ahead! You can have it at the coffee table. I'll help you set up the game, Kurama!

Yusuke and Kuwabara sit down excitedly, with Yukina and Keiko watching on once again. They begin ripping open the boxes. Near the television, Botan is currently plugging the game system.

Botan: Okay, all set! What game did you bring, Kurama?

Kurama: Well, since it's only Hiei and I, I thought we might play Soul Caliber 2.

Botan: (excited) Ooo! The one with Link in it?

Hiei: (muttering) Hn. Stupid Hylian.

Kurama: (looking weirdly at Hiei) Uh, yeah…Here, I'll be player one and you can be player two, Hiei.

Hiei: (grabs the first player control away) Fat chance, fox. I'm first.

Botan: (tilting head) Does it really make a difference?

Kurama: (quietly) Only in your head.

Youko: (internally; whining) Hey! I wanted to be first player!!

At the coffee table, Yusuke and Kuwabara are now poised over their respective boxes, waiting for the cue from Keiko, who, by a volunteer effort, has, for the third consecutive time running, decided to be the referee. Yukina watches on raptly, as the contestants eyes fly from each other then back down to the sugary poundage.

Keiko: Are you ready?

Yusuke: (bursting out) For goodness sakes!! That's the third time you've asked!!

Keiko: (glaring) ….GO!!!!!

The two boys descend on the candy as if it's going out of style. Soon, empty tubes litter the floor, along with a healthy layer of pixie dust, as they attempt to swallow the mess as fast as possible without choking. Yusuke appears to be ahead by 17 sticks.

Keiko: You know, this really isn't very healthy.

Yukina: It does look fun, though.

Keiko: (nods) Yeah, but the training afterwards will probably make up for it.

Both Yusuke and Kuwabara, who had been frantically racing each other, slow down at her words, slightly unnerved. The pixie sticks begin to loom, changing in their minds from lovely small containers of instant sugar high, to 50 kilo weights, with their name written in block ink. Red. That looks suspiciously like blood. Almost simultaneously, they shoot up, pointing at one another.

YK: You won!!

Yusuke: Get down on the floor, Kuwabara, and give me 20.

Kuwabara: No way!! I'm telling Genkai!!

Yukina: (frowning) Is that supposed to happen?

Keiko: (grinning evilly) Yep.

Back at the television, Botan is watching as Hiei and Kurama duke it out with their Soul Caliber counterparts. Surprisingly, though both demons are male, they have chosen female players. Hiei is now fighting as Talim, while Kurama takes control of Ivy.

Botan: (watches with wide eyes) Oooh! Good hit, Hiei! But…oooo! That had to hurt.

Hiei: (glances at Kurama) Your ningen has weird sayings.

Kurama: (smirks and intently watches screen) Squirm!

Hiei: (rolls eyes) I'm not saying any of mine. I'd sound like that silly wind master.

Talim: (on screen) Wind, guide me! I am one with the wind!

Hiei: (sweatdrop) Disgusting…

Hiei pounds on the buttons, and by a miraculous twist in fate, or perhaps because the character he has chosen is the fastest one there, Kurama lies defeated on the floor, after a particularly amusing death cry.

Kurama: (handing over control) Want to try, Botan?

Botan: (enthusiastic) Sure!

Keiko, having decided that watching Yusuke and Kuwabara trying to make the other work out is no longer interesting, sits next to Kurama to view the fight. Yukina follows along. Botan, to contrast Hiei's decidedly female character, chooses the male, Yunsung.

Botan: Think I'll win, Hiei?

Hiei: (eyebrow up) In your dreams, onna.

The battle commences, and surprisingly, Hiei's button mashing techniques are no longer serving him as well as before. With a backwards sword dance then a graceful thrust, Yunsung easily knocks the lightweight Talim out of the ring.

Yunsung: (on screen) Man, I'm much better looking than you.

Hiei: Hn. Not a chance. [an: I can just hear the fangirls screaming their support. (winces) Owie.]

Botan: (giggling) Oh, how hilarious! Now, hand over the controller, Hiei. You lost, so someone else gets to play.

Hiei: …fine. (throws controller to the ground)

Hiei joins the growing audience, as Yusuke and Kuwabara have both discarded their increasingly boring fight of "you do it!" and "no, you!" in favor of watching the game. Yukina hesitantly comes forward to try it out.

Yukina: Um, is it okay if I pick this character?

Botan: That's fine. Pick whatever you want!

Everyone watches in amazement as Yukina carefully presses the buttons on her controller in a seemingly random pattern, dodging every attack by Botan and easily defeating her character. The screen displays the almighty "PERFECT" when she finishes, and her character, Xianghua, flashes an irritating grin.

Xianghua: (on screen) Justice will prevail! Just kidding!

Keiko: …uh, was that an evil character?

Botan: (still dazed) I think her sayings are rather misleading.

Yusuke: …wow! Hahahahaha! So, Hiei, how does it feel to lose to Botan and then, by proxy, to your sister? Hahahahaha!

Hiei: (glaring) Shut up.

Kuwabara: Yukina, my flying freestyle fighter, my avenging angel from above, do you think you might teach me to do that?

Yukina: (smiling) Okay.

Kurama: (turning away) How about we break out the chips?

Botan: Sure! I'll go get them!

She rushes off to the kitchen while Yukina points at various buttons to a confused Kuwabara. The first few attempts, his character kills himself, jumping off the edge of stage or inflicting some type of suicide ritual. Finally, he is able to die the more noble death of just plain losing to Yukina. In the kitchen, Botan grabs a few bags of the snacks Keiko brought over, then drops all of them, the chips shattering into pieces inside, as her pocket begins to sing.

Botan: Wha-?! …oh crap! (pulls out communication mirror, wincing) Hello?

Koenma: Hey! Guess what time it is!

Yusuke: Hey Botan! Why's there a portal in your living room?

Botan: (runs out) Don't touch it!

Hiei, the only one left: Too late.

Botan: …okay, I understand everyone else, but why did Kurama go?

Hiei: The baka tripped him.

Botan: (sweatdrop) I see…

Koenma: (warningly) Botan!

Botan: (sighs) Come on, Hiei, I guess we'd better go.

Hiei: …hn.

Botan shakes her head and grabs Hiei, pushing him into the portal in front of her. Once again, the house is left empty, luckily in better repair than Kurama's ever was in previous incidences. Just wait until next time…

Game: (weird announcer voice [an: he really freaks me out]) Transcending history and the world, a tale of souls and swords, eternally retold…

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Botan comes out of the portal to find everyone already waiting for her on the all to familiar stage. Yusuke is looking at her sourly, while everyone is examining the new safety track lighting on the floor for the set changing onis. Maybe Kuwabara also.

Yusuke: Botan, why did you have a portal taking us here? Do you just stash them randomly about your house?! Will I be transported to Makai if I use the john at the wrong time?!

Botan: (exasperated) Yes. I just love seeing demons while in the shower. Then I can clean the blood up real fast.

Hiei: O.o What the -?! Onna, are you taking my fights away from me?

Kurama: (looking purposefully away) Koenma?

Flushing noise is heard as Koenma comes out of a side room, in teenage form. He looks startled at their presence.

Koenma: What are you doing here? I thought I told Botan you didn't have to come until tomorrow.

Botan: (muttering) No, you didn't.

Keiko: What?! Then send us back!

Koenma: (genuinely puzzled) Why? You're already here, so why not get this over with now?

Yusuke: Hey! Why did you send that portal over in the first place?

Koenma: (sheepish) Well, you see, they take a bit of effort to set up, and I was kind've thinking of sleeping in tomorrow, so…

Kurama: (squarely) So you were lazy.

Koenma: More like blissfully anticipatory.

Yusuke: Well, what were we supposed to do about it, then?!! That was right smack dab in the middle of Botan's living room. I mean, it covered the couch!!

Botan: What?!!

Indeed, to the left is Botan's new plush leather sofa, sitting unawares of its new habitat.

Botan: I want that returned to me! Put it back!!

Koenma: (sighs) I send it back when I return all of you. Now, since you're here, it's time to decide on a play!

Everyone: (muted grumbling)

Botan: So, Disney movie once again?

Keiko: How about Mary Poppins? I always loved that one!

Yusuke: Nah. I never understood it as a kid. How'd they get inside the painting?

Kuwabara: (shrugs) Beats me.

Yusuke: (smirking) Anything could beat you.

Keiko rushes on before a fight can emerge.

Keiko: Uh, how about Snow White?

Kurama: (frowns) Didn't we already turn that one down?

Keiko: I can't remember. [an: Neither can I, and I'm writing it. (sweatdrop)]

Hiei: Let's do one with blood this time.

Yukina: I was hoping for a romance story.

Kuwabara: Romance it is, my haplessly heart stopping aria!

Yusuke: (coving ears) To shut you up, I'll agree.

Botan: Oh! I know! Let's do Beauty and the Beast! That's a cool one! I always liked the songs in there.

Hiei glares at the thought of more singing, but everyone else, after a few more uninspired ideas, reluctantly agrees to the decision. Koenma looks up from reading a Toys R Us magazine when they approach him.

Koenma: (taking lollypop out of his mouth) Done?

Kurama: (sighs) Yes, we've chosen to do Beauty and the Beast.

Koenma: Great! (claps hands) George, bring on the scripts!!

Yusuke: (incredulous) Does he have every Disney script made back there?!

Keiko: (shrugs) Well, he is the temporary ruler for Renkai. I'd say they're not going to charge him for the ink.

Koenma: (turning back) Okay, so we've already had Hiei and Kurama as main characters in a story, so this time I think I'll pick someone new!

The cast waits nervously while Koenma dramatically delays his choice. The track lighting flashes wildly, while the young king rolls his eyes, obviously ignoring the weird set changes from now on. [an: darn. Got to think of a new way to annoy him…]

Koenma: And so, Belle will be…..Yukina!!

Yukina: (smiles)

Yusuke: (flabbergasted) Yukina!! What?! I thought you were going to pick a guy!!

Keiko: Yusuke! Are you being prejudiced?!!

Yusuke: (backs up) Nooooo…it's just that he's done it every time before…can you stop that now, Keiko?

Koenma: Well, Yukina is the best actor here, so I thought it was time I actually watched something good instead of B class movies.

Everyone: (assorted grumbling)

Hiei: (mutters) Its not like you're paying us.

Koenma: Anyways, once we get the scripts, we can start! George!!

George: (hauling in packets by himself) Co-coming, sir.