Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Why can't we be friends? ❯ All I really want is girls! ( Chapter 3 )

Title: Why can't we be friends?

 

Chapter 3: All I really want is girls!

 

Author: agent rookie grl

 

Rating: R! And this chapter will prove it! Also the next one will too.

 

Disclaimer: Geez, I don't own the freaking anime!

 

 

The dark sky continued to grow darker, only a meek sliver of sun shined through the cloudiness. Just as Cheiron, Yusuke, Ocypete, and Kurama were about to make their way to find Keiko and Shiziru, Hiei finally came back.

“Glad you could make it back Hiei.” Yusuke waved as the fire demon landed before them. Kurama gave Hiei a hopeful look and he replied by nodding. Kurama settled back down on Cheiron's back knowing his mother was all right.

“Humph bout time you made it back here munchkin,” Ocypete snapped crossing her feathery arms over her chest. Hiei quickly got annoyed with her just as soon as she spoke, actually the Harpy was rattling the cages of everyone's tempers, and she did not know when to quit. “All of you Asians are all alike, quick when it comes to saving your own asses but when it comes to taking a few quicker steps to make it back your all slow as snails, dam bastards.” She complained getting dark glares from everyone in the group.

Does Ocypete even know she's basically insulting everyone at once? Cheiron thought with a sweat drop going down his head, even since she agreed to come with them she has come a step closer to death.

“What are we waiting for we have to get Keiko now!” Yusuke declared rattling the Centaur from his thoughts.

“Right,” He agreed as Yusuke jumped onto his back, “but please this time don't be so rough.”

“Oh having problems with your mortal bitches.” Ocypete snickered getting a smack in the back of the head from Hiei; she looked around confused because he used his super speed to avoid getting caught. Ocypete eyed Hiei giving him an icy glower.

In the interim Keiko was sitting in her bedroom, hugging a pillow tight to her chest. Ever since she left Yusuke nothing has seemed right, there was actually a giant forest growing right outside her house!

“Oh Yusuke, where are you?” Keiko mumbled quietly into her pillow. Her prayers were answered when a loud knock and footsteps came into her room. She looked up, not to see her secret knight in shining armor, but four others. “Kuwabara? Botan? Genkai? Shiziru? What are you three doing here? Where's Yusuke?”

“That's what we were going to ask you.” Botan quipped. “Yusuke and the others should have found you by now.”

“Well incase you haven't noticed but practically all of our neighborhood has turned into a raving forest.” Shiziru pointed out with Eikichi in her arms.

“Botan do you have any idea what's going on?” Keiko asked jumping up. A large sweat drop went down the ferry girl's head as she put on her best kitty face meowing innocently. That gave Keiko very little hope.

“All we know is that a bunch of gods are having a grudge about what King Yama did too them and now their taking over all of spirit, demon, and human worlds.” Kuwabara explained as best as he could. “But enough talk let's get out of here and find Urameshi! That guy has a lot of explaining to do!” He rambled stomping out of the room.

Unluckily Yusuke and his group were having the same problems.

“What the hell!” Yusuke cursed looking at the lush forest standing between him and Keiko. “Where did this dam forest come from?”

“Guess the gods are taking no time in accommodating themselves to the human plane.” Cheiron replied peering into the brisk greenery of the forest grounds. “Is this where your wife is held?” A large blush swiped across Yusuke's face, as Kurama stifled a chuckle.

“Wha…what? Keiko isn't my wife!” He stammered his blush becoming worse.

“Forgive me, most men and women are married and have children by age twelve in my era.” Cheiron apologized, that made Yusuke blanch. “Well if your Keiko is in there then we must go through the forest to find her.”

“I hate forests.” Yusuke grumbled,

“You should be more opened minded Yusuke.” Kurama remarked smirking, getting a look from Yusuke because this came from the person who used plants as weapons. Hiei was already traveling through the forest, tired of listening to his teammates talk.

“For once, the irritate has a good idea.” Ocypete smirked taking flight over the forest top, “catch you on the other side boys!” She cackled soaring off.

“Mush stallion!” Yusuke commanded pointing his finger into the forest before them, getting a distasteful string of Greek curses from the centaur. After five minutes of traveling into the forest, Cheiron finally stated something that he has kept to himself for quite a while.

“Yusuke although Ocypete has been quite coy with us,”

“No kidding, if coy means being a complete bitch.” Yusuke interrupted crossing his arms,

“Ocypete is truly a worthy ally because there are some places where we males are totally useless, we can be overcome in a matter of seconds.” Cheiron informed, “having a strong female ally will help when those times come. Even if she does not see eye to eye with the way King Yama handled things, please do not as you say ruffle her feathers.”

“Cheiron what can you tell us of the Greek gods.” Kurama inquired, but his question was stopped by a loud harsh yell.

“That sounded like Hiei.” Yusuke spoke up, causing the centaur to break into a run.

“What was that?” Botan piped hearing a loud yell all of the sudden.

“What was what?” Kuwabara repeated confused.

“A yell, I heard a yell it kind of sounded like,” she covered her mouth realizing who it was, “it was Hiei!” she materialized her oar jumping onto it. “Come on it was this way!” She shouted pointing north speeding off, with the rest trailing behind.

Back to five minutes earlier, Hiei was dashing across from treetop to treetop, not caring about Yusuke's girl only wanted to get out. Suddenly he stopped, or more like being stopped. Something wrapped around his right ankle causing a chain reaction of him falling head first to the ground. Only for some strange reason he never hit the cool grassy ground. He looked at his ankle to see it tied in a tree branch; it had hugged itself around Hiei's leg like a vine.

“Why are you jumping on my arms, little one?” A female voice cooed from within the tree. Hiei's eyes grew wide as a woman came from inside the tree. Her dark russet hair dangled down her dark oak skin to her bare bottom. Nothing covered her dark skin, only her ginger eyes stood out in her wondrous form. She continued to giggle as she crawled on a branch to Hiei. “Well aren't you going to answer?” His shocked expression turned sour as he glared at the strange female.

“Let me down wench.” Hiei growled his hand going for his sword, the odd girl grabbed his hand, looking into his ruby eyes.

“Forgive me, my name is Aegle I am one of the guardians of the golden apple tree, just over the hills from here.” She introduced with a seductive grin.

“Aegle what are you doing to that mortal?” Another woman spoke, Hiei looked down to see two other women. The one speaking had jade curly hair down to her bottom and her entire body was naked with a light green tint, stating that she was certainly not human. The most distinct part about her was her brilliant blue eyes gazing up at Aegle.

“I was just questioning his quest sister Eritheia.” Aegle answered the jade haired female.

“Questioning and playing with him is much different sister.” The third one giggled, her golden locks falling messily around her pasty yellow body and dark green eyes.

“You're the one to talk Hesperia.” Aegle smirked, Hiei was getting tired of listening to them bicker. He was getting out by force that was until an unwanted guest popped in.

“My lovely maidens, how nice of us to meet.” A young man bowed coming out of the bushes. His shoulder length shaggy grayish white hair bouncing as he walked. Hiei nearly fell out of the tree out of the pure shock of seeing what the man looked like. He only had a necklace of seashells around his neck, no shirt, and the bottom part of his body consisted that of a black goat. He had the fur and hoofs of a black goat.

With a closer inspection Hiei could also see two large male goat horns on his head, his magenta eyes sparkling with perverseness. The three girls showed distaste in the man as soon as he made himself known.

“A satyr,” Eritheia spat crossing her arms, “have you come to chase us or make small talk?” The satyr gave a boyish grin as his tiny stump of a tail wagged quickly.

“Please, I am not like those other brutes.” He apologized bowing, “I simply heard you wondrous voices and had to see why you talked in such a negative manner.”

“You flatter us sir satyr.” Hesperia blushed a light pink twirling her hair. “My name is Hesperia may I ask of yours?” The satyr galloped over to her kissing her hand saying,

“My name, dear nymph, is Zeth.”

“One who investigates?” Eritheia, “quite a curious name.” Hiei was now getting really ticked off. Those, whatever they were completely forgot about him to go see the goat man. He pulled out his sword about to cut the branch off when. Slap!

“Vile urchin!” Aegle shirked smacking Zeth in the face. “How dare you violate me like that?”

“As you say I am a researcher. I was merely researching whether your ass was a firm as most nymphs are and my theory was proven.” Zeth grinned a sparking smile. Aegle disgusted and outraged as Zeth's behavior effected the tree Hiei was kept in. Before he could cut himself free, the branch wrapped around both of his hands, binding them outwards preventing any other movement.

“Dammit.” He cursed glaring daggers at the ones below him. What Zeth did made him want to vomit; he began to chase the nymphs around making catcalls and pinching their asses whenever he got close enough. That made the tree Hiei was in even more agitated, the branches wrapped themselves around his body, stopping anymore struggling. Hiei was lucky he could still breathe. The nymphs rushed off. Eritheia turning into a bush, Hesperia diving into the ground becoming tree roots and Aegle going into an oak tree to escape the filthy hands of a satyr.

“How disappointing.” Zeth sighed pouting, “well there are many more nymphs out there and I plan to claim them all.” He smirked fingering his seashell necklace.

“Hiei!” Kurama called pointing to their teammate bounded in a tree branch. His curses and yells fell on deaf ears as the branch covered his mouth to stifle it.

“Nymphs.” Cheiron replied as Kurama used his spirit energy to manipulate the branches to release Hiei. The fire demon landed with a thud, finally able to take in much needed breaths of air.

“Cheiron!” Zeth cried happily trotting his way over to the centaur. “My good old friend how are you?”

“Zeth?” Cheiron questioned seeing the satyr below him but smiled as his memory kicked in, “Zeth! Goodness it's been ages!”

“What the hell happened?” Yusuke posed bending down to Hiei as he recovered. Hiei only gave a hateful glare towards Zeth, taking his sword out. “Hey what are you doing?” Before Yusuke's question could be answered Hiei was gone and in front of Zeth in a second. He let out a yelp that sounded much like a goat's as Hiei stood before him his sword ready to strike.

“You bastard.” Hiei snarled raising his sword over Zeth's head.

“Wa…wait! How have I wronged you young mortal?” Zeth claimed hiding under Cheiron.

“I was taken captive by those disgusting women, and you only provoked them to torture me further!” Hiei yelled enraged.

“My dear boy you have much to learn.” Zeth smirked flipping some hair out of his eyes. “Nymphs are anything but disgusting.” Hiei was about to pounce on him but Zeth let out a shriek grabbing onto Cheiron's right front leg. “My centaur comrade don't let me die by the hands of a mortal!”

“I am a demon!” Hiei bellowed trying to get past Cheiron to get the unruly half man half goat.

“Hiei although I know what the nymphs may have done to you seemed hateful but they had reasons, and besides satyrs are known for their hounding ways towards women.” Cheiron explained giving his old friend a look of pity and annoyance. “So,” he added plucking the sword from Hiei's hands “I cannot allow you to kill him for being himself.” Hiei had a look that could kill anyone, and everything as he stared at Cheiron. “Zeth did you even know of Hiei being with the nymphs when you intruded?”

“No! No!” Zeth proclaimed shaking his head. “If I would have known of this fine demon being with those lovely maidens I would of asked him to join me in frolic.”

“I will not fraternize!” Hiei shouted to angry to think straight. Kurama and Yusuke were just standing on the sidelines as the three tried to come to an agreement. Zeth was still in a look of puzzlement as Hiei's last statement until he came to a conclusion that would mean his certain death.

“Ah I understand you now,” He concluded rubbing his chin, “you are the type of man that enjoys the company of the male gender.” Yusuke and Kurama fell over, as a vein in Hiei's head looked like it was about to explode. Cheiron literally held Hiei back as Zeth ran away hiding behind a tree, as Hiei's anger had no bounds.

“Hiei! Please calm down!” Cheiron chided, now holding him up in the air as he flailed around trying to get to the satyr to kill him. “Zeth truly did not mean what he said! I'm sure he has no idea what that means to your people in this era.” Zeth nodded vigorously agreeing with the smarter of the Greek creatures.

“Well I'll clear that up for you.” Yusuke piped in with his own grin of perverseness on. “Goat boy called Hiei a homosexual.” That comment really didn't help vent Hiei's urge to kill.

“Yusuke you are not helping!” Cheiron growled giving him an icy glare.

“Hiei I am truly sorry for wrongly accusing you of liking that type of gender!” Zeth apologized sweat dripping from his face. “My name means investigator and I did not live up to it as I completely overlooked the dazzling emerald eyed deity at your side.” He gestured to Kurama getting a huge sweat drop from the fox demon. Yusuke fell over laughing his ass off. Zeth was totally confused as Yusuke continued to laugh, Kurama was blushing madly, and Hiei still wanted to disembowel him. “I am perplexed Cheiron, is the rose haired maiden, claimed to Hiei or to the cackling youth on the ground.” He posed, making Yusuke's laughs stop.

“What?” Yusuke yelled his face faulting.

“Because if she is free, then I will gladly treat her to a wonderful night.” Zeth beamed winking at Kurama. Yusuke still snickered as Kurama's eye twitched,

“Excuse me Zeth, I am not a girl I am a boy.” Kurama corrected trying to keep his cool. “I think it would be best if you rightfully apologize to Hiei and leave.”

“A male you say?” Zeth cocked his head to the side appearing beside Kurama making him jump slightly. He took a few whiffs of air, “how could a man smell of sweet roses?” he inquired taking in deep breaths of Kurama's scent. “I think you say you are a man but really you are a…”

“If you don't want to get your ass kicked by two demons I think you should stop while your behind.” Yusuke interrupted seeing the calmness of Kurama quickly fade. Hiei had longed since relaxed from his tantrum, now more interested in what the fox would do to the so called satyr now.

“There you are!” Botan called landing in front of Yusuke and Kurama, “we've been looking all over!” She gave a stern look at the two adding, “we had to get Keiko and Shiziru for you.”

“Yea some help you are Urameshi.” Kuwabara griped moving some branch so his sister, Keiko, and Genkai could get through.

“Well I would have been there faster if a freaking forest hadn't have popped out of no where!” Yusuke argued glaring at the carrot top.

“Yusuke!” Keiko snapped making him shut up, “I know exactly what's going on, Kuwabara told me.” She pointed a finger at in his face. “You, need to stop fooling around and take care of these guys.”

“I am not fooling around…” Yusuke screams of frustration were disrupted as Cheiron broke into the conversation.

“The young maiden is right, we do need to become more serious if we ever hope to return your home to the bustling city it once was. Ladies although I know seeing your men fight would be a treat but you must go back to Genkai's temple and stay there. I would die of guilt if anything happened to innocent women.” Shiziru nodded as Keiko was still in mid shock at seeing what Cheiron was.

“He's half horse.” She whispered, “unbelievable.”

“Horse guy!” Kuwabara yelled, “there's no way I'm standing behind in this mission any longer! I'm not getting blamed for screwing this one up.” He finished giving a look at Yusuke.

“Yea because you're usually the one who screws them up anyway.” He mocked crossing his arms.

“You want to take me on Urameshi! Any time any place!” Kuwabara declared flexing his muscles. Sweat drops went down the girl's heads, as well as the two demons.

“Humans can be so crude at times of dire need.” Zeth sighed placing his hand on the back of Keiko's calf. She shuttered at the touch looking down to see another strange beast, but this one was

“Too cute!” She squealed taking Zeth in her arms. “Aren't you adorable.”

“My, taken by a woman so quickly, obviously I'm doing something right.” Zeth smirked as Botan rubbed his tiny tail.

“This is insane!” Yusuke shouted into the sky rubbing his head. “We're getting no where fast!”

“Cheiron was right about satyrs being womanizers.” Kurama replied seeing the girls make comments about his stature and tail.

“Cheiron my centaur friend!” Zeth beamed, “I can now see that your cause is truly a gods handy work. I would be honored to help you anyway I can, and I may start by escorting these enchanting human females out of the woods of the nymphs and back to the temple.” It didn't take an Albert Einstein to know that was a horrible idea.

“Actually Zeth, since you've made yourself noble to help us. You can began your loyalty by helping my boyish comrades get pass the woods of the nymphs.” Cheiron suggested making the goat's bright face downcast. “I can help the ladies to the temples, your vast knowledge of the nymphs and gods will greatly help in leading them out of the forest safety.”

“I agree with Cheiron.” Genkai nodded, “He'll come with us and Zeth you can lead my boys out of this forest.”

“You've got to be kidding me.” Hiei muttered irked, before everyone spilt up into his or her groups the wise centaur called Kurama over to heed him some information.

“Kurama, please do not allow your calmness to be overwhelmed by Zeth's nature. He is very loyal to those he respects and I forewarn you he will get sidetracked in a forest filled with women. For your sake please don't kill him.” Cheiron pleaded clasping his hands together. The fact Cheiron actually had to beg in order to guarantee a safe trip unnerved Kurama.

“Do not worry Cheiron. I will make sure Zeth doesn't die and he won't become to sidetracked.” Kurama promised getting a meek smile from Cheiron as Shiziru and Keiko hopped onto his back. The two groups bid their short departure as they made their way through the woods of the nymphs.