Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Yu Yu Hakusho and the Holy Grail ❯ Dennis and the Black Knight ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I own the world!!! And the evil, man slaying rabbit!!!!! Muhahahahahahaha!!!!

Kurama: *turns into fox and eats rabbit * not anymore!

Hiei: Besides you own nothing admit it.

Ddc: NEVER!!!

Kurama: Fine then we'll just have to tickle you.

Ddc: AHHH HAVE MERCY!!!!!!

Hiei and Kurama: ADMIT IT!!!!

Ddc: FINE! I don't own yu yu hakusho or monty python and the holy grail. Happy?

Hiei and Kurama: Yup ^_^

Summary: ok now that I've been saved from the evil tortures of the dynamic demon duo, where to begin. Ah yes, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for the reviews!!!! I luv you all!!! Now I can continue with this fic! ^_^ well in this chapter, for all of you who've seen monty python and the holy grail, we have the confusing Dennis the farmer dude scene, and the hilarious Black Knight Scene! And with no further ado, ON WITH THE FIC!!!! ^_~

*scene/stage place *

Ddc: Ok you slugs! Hurry up and get into place! We don't have all day you know!

Yusuke: Yeah we do.

Ddc: NO WE DON'T!!! WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS FINISHED BY THE END OF THE WEEK!!!!

Kuwabara: No we don't.

Ddc: yes we do!

Hiei: No we don't

Ddc: Hiei, don't sink to their level. You really WANT to be put in the same category as Kuwabara?

Hiei: Oh good point. I think I'll go into my dressing room. *walks away *

Ddc: ok then where were we? Oh yeah, yes we do now get into place!!!!!

Yusuke: But I'm eating a jelly doughnut!!!

Ddc: Not anymore! *takes doughnut and eats it *

Yusuke: HEY MY DOUGHNUT!!!!

Ddc: Mmmm that was good. Ok then, in your places. NOW!

Yusuke: *crying * You ate my doughnut!

Ddc: Oh don't be such a cry baby. Now GET!

Yusuke: *wipes eyes * yes ma'am.

Kuwabara: *snickering*

Yusuke: *hits him on the head with sword * SHUT UP!

Kuwabara: *holding head * Owwww what was that for? What did I ever do to you?!?

Yusuke: You were laughing at me that's what! Now face the wrath of my ALMIGHTY HAMMER OF DOOM!!! *lightening strikes outside as he pulls out giant hammer *

Kuwabara: Huh? *gets hit on head twenty times with hammer * owwwww @_@

Yusuke: Muhahahahahahaha severs you right!

Ddc: -_-;;;;; can we start the scene now?!!?!?!!?!?!!?

Yusuke: Yup! ^_^

Scene 3

Yusuke: *gallops in to King Arthur music *

Kuwabara: *head is covered with bumps pounds coconuts together *

Yusuke: *rides up to hunched figure pulling cart * Old woman!

Touya: *turns around in farmer clothes * Woman! I mean, MAN!

Yusuke: -_-;; nice going retard.

Ddc: >_<

Yusuke: *gulp * I mean, man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?

Touya: I'm two hundred.

Yusuke: What?

Touya: I'm two hundred. I'm not old.

Yusuke: Uh I don't think that's part of the script, cus two hundred's old.

Touya: *pulls out script * Oops my bad. I mean, I'm thirty-seven.

Yusuke: What?

Touya: I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.

Yusuke: Well I can't just call you "man"

Touya: Well, you could say Touya

Ddc: >_<

Touya: ^_^;;; I mean, well, you could say "Dennis"

Yusuke: I didn't know you were called "Dennis".

Touya: Neither did I as a matter of fact.

Yusuke: Jeez man you're really killing your lines. You not supposed to say that!

Touya: *looks at Ddc *

Ddc: *pulls out two katana's and is threatening to cut Touya's throat if he doesn't get his lines right *

Touya: EEP!!! I mean, well you didn't bother to find out, did you?

Yusuke: I did say I was sorry about the `old woman', but from behind you looked…

Touya: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!

Yusuke: Wow you actually got your lines right. It's a miracle.

Touya: Ummm * moves head in a subtle way towards Ddc *

Yusuke: *looks at Ddc *

Ddc: *flames erupting around her * >_<

Yusuke: Ahhhh!!! I mean, Well I am king!

Touya: Oh king, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma with perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the…

Koenma: *dressed up as peasant woman and tries to talk in a high pitched voice* Touya! I mean, Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here! *sees Yusuke * Oh! Moron! I mean, Oh! How d'you do?

Yusuke: *snickers * How do you do good LADY. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?

Koenma: *glaring * King of the who?

Yusuke: The Britons. Duh.

Koenma: Who are the Britons?

Yusuke: Damn your stupid. * glances at Ddc * I mean, well we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king!

Koenma: I didn't know we have a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

Yusuke: *confused look * What?!?!?!

Ddc: *glaring *

Yusuke: oops. ^_^;;;;;;;;

Touya: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes….

Koenma: Oh there you go, bringing the working class into it again.

Touya: That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of…

Yusuke: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?

Koenma: No one lives there.

Yusuke: Then who is your lord?

Koenma: *normal voice * I am the lord! Muhahahahahahaha!!!

Touya, Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Ddc: *anime fall *

Koenma: hehehehehe just kidding. *high pitched voice again * We don't have a lord.

Yusuke: *getting up * Don't do that! What?

Touya: *getting up * I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

Yusuke: *rolls eyes * Yes

Touya: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting…

Yusuke: *yawns * Yes I see.

Touya: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs….

Yusuke: *gets bored and wants to go beat up people in next scene * Be quiet!

Touya: But by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major…

Yusuke: *getting pissed * Be quiet! I ORDER you to be quiet!

Koenma: *snickers * Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Hehe

Yusuke: I am your king!

Koenma: Well, I didn't vote for you.

Yusuke: You don't vote for kings!

Koenma: Well, how did you become king then?

Yusuke: *gets dreamy eyes * The lady of the lake, (a/n: Lady of the lake = Kieko ^_~) her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. *dreamy eyes go away * THAT is why I am your king!

Touya: *rolls eyes * Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses! Not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Yusuke: *pissed that he insulted Lady of the Lake aka Kieko * Be quiet!!

Touya: Well, you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just `cus some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Yusuke: *really pissed * SHUT UP!!!

Touya: I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Yusuke: *really really pissed and annoyed * Shut up, will you SHUT UP! *grabs Touya *

Touya: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

Yusuke: *just plain annoyed now * SHUT UP!!!!!!!

Touya: *shouts * Oh come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help Help! I'm being repressed!

Yusuke: *lets go of Touya and walks away * Bloody peasant.

Touya: *looks around at random demons * Oh what a give away! Did you hear that?! Did you hear that eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?!?!

Yusuke and Kuwabara: *galloping away, Kuwabara's head still covered in bumps *

*scene dwindles away *

Ddc: Ok the ending of that scene was tolerable, but WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU GUYS DOING IN THE BEGINNING?!?!?! Touya, I thought you were a better actor than that! I mean, you forgot all your lines!

Touya: Sorry, I kind of had some stuff on my mind.

Ddc: Well get it out of your mind then! Now, we have to do the next scene and then we'll call it a day.

Kuwabara: ooo do I get any lines in this? Cus I didn't in the last scene.

Ddc: no you don't get lines

Kuwabara: Awwww that's not fair! I want lines!!

Ddc: Well you are the one who ASKED to be Patsy.

Kuwabara: Yeah because I thought I'd have lines!

Ddc: Nope, all Patsy's good for is hitting coconuts together. Ok people, places! Lights! Camera! ACTION!!!!

Scene 4

Yusuke and Kuwabara: *galloping along *

Hiei: *dressed as Black Knight * AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!

Yusuke and Kuwabara: *still galloping along *

Hiei: AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!

Kurama: *dressed as Green Knight * OOH!!

Yusuke and Kuwabara: *still galloping along, see Hiei and Kurama fighting *

Yusuke: Ooo look a fight. Lets watch.

Kuwabara: I don't think we're supposed to be talking right now.

Yusuke: Oh yeah huh. Ok then.

Yusuke and Kuwabara: *watch and pretend to be dumbfounded *

Hiei: AAGH!!! *chops at Kurama with sword *

Hiei and Kurama: *keep fighting with all the aaghs and oohs *

Kurama: *charges at Hiei * RARR!!!!!

Hiei: *puts hand up * Wait, Rar? Isn't it supposed to be Ahh?

Kurama: *stops and ponders for a second * Oh yeah you're right. It's ah. AHHHH!!!!!!!

Hiei: *stabs Kurama in face, "killing" him * (a/n: don't worry he's not dead. He's my third fav character! I can't kill him! Fav characters in order: hiei, yoko, kurama. )

Kurama: *falls back * thud

Hiei: *gets up, puts sword into ground, and stands all macho *

Yusuke and Kuwabara: *gallop over to Hiei *

Kuwabara: Man shrimp got taller

Hiei: Shut up baka. At least I'm a cool knight, unlike you who's a peasant named Patsy.

Kuwabara: Whhaaaa you're so mean

Ddc: >_<

Yusuke: ^_^;;; Anyway, You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.

*silence *

Yusuke: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

*crickets chirp in background *

Yusuke: I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.

*crickets still chirping *

Yusuke: You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?

*crickets have shut up because Jin squirted bug spray on them *

Yusuke: You make me sad. So be it. Come Patsy. *start galloping towards bridge *

Hiei: None shall pass!

Yusuke: Huh? I mean, what?

Hiei: *rolls eyes behind helmet visor * Baka. None shall pass!

Yusuke: I have no quarrel with you good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.

Hiei: Then you shall die!

Yusuke: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!

Hiei: I move for no man.

Yusuke: So be it. RAR!

Hiei and Yusuke *start fighting * RAR AAGGH AHHH etc.

Yusuke: HIYA! *chops off Hiei's left arm *

Hiei: *stands there while blood squirts from stump *

Yusuke: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

Hiei: *looks at stump * Tis but a scratch.

Arthur: A SCRATCH?!?! You're arms off!

Hiei: No it isn't.

Yusuke: Well, then what's that? *points at arm that's lying on ground *

Hiei: I've had worse.

Yusuke: You liar!

Hiei: Come on you pansy!

Yusuke and Hiei: *start fighting again with all battle cries *

Yusuke: Hiya!

Hiei: AHHHHH!!!!!!

Yusuke: *chops off Hiei's right arm *

Yusuke: Victory is mine! *kneels and starts praying * We thank thee Lord, that in Thy mercy…

Hiei: Hah! *kicks Yusuke * Come on then! *kicks Yusuke again *

Yusuke: *on ground * WHAT?!?!?!

Hiei: *kicks him again * Have at you!

Yusuke: *gets up * You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine!

Hiei: Oh had enough eh?

Yusuke: *rolls eyes * Look you stupid bastard you've got no arms left!

Hiei: Yes I have!

Yusuke: LOOK!

Hiei: *looks at stumps * Tis but a flesh wound! *kicks Yusuke again *

Yusuke: Look stop that!

Hiei: Chicken! Chicken!

Yusuke: Look I'll have your leg.

Hiei: *keeps kicking Yusuke *

Yusuke: RIGHT! *chops off Hiei's leg with sword *

Hiei: *hopping on remaining leg * Right! I'll do you for that!

Yusuke: You'll what?!

Hiei: C'mere!

Yusuke: *rolls eyes * What're you going to do, bleed on me?

Hiei: I'm INVICIBLE!!! *cackes evil witch laugh *

Yusuke: You're a loony…

Hiei: The Black Knight ALWAYS triumphs!! Have at you!! *hops around trying to kick Yusuke with remaining leg *

Yusuke: *shrugs and chops off Hiei's leg, making Hiei fall to ground *

Hiei: *looks around and sees he can't move * Alright, we'll call it a draw.

Yusuke: *rolls eyes * Come Patsy! *gallop away *

Hiei: *shouts after them * Oh! Had enough eh? Come back and take what's coming for you, you yellow bastards!! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!!!!!

*scene dwindles away *

Ddc: *claps * yay! You guys didn't mess up that much!

Kurama: Yup, Hiei and I rock.

Hiei: Yup. We're too cool for school.

Ddc: Uh sure whatever. Anyway, that's all for today, tomorrow we do two more scenes! So everyone go home and get some sleep!

Kuwabara: Do I get more lines tomorrow?

Ddc: Probably not Patsy

Everyone: *snickers *

Kuwabara: Whaaaaa you guys are so mean!!! *runs away crying *

Darkdemonchild: Well how did you guys like this chapter? Good? Bad? Ok? Tell me!! Please!!! Ok I got two reviews, one saying thanks for not butchering the script, another saying this was good but please butcher the script. So as a compromise I had them mess up a lot but fix it. Is that good? Well, anyway, review and I'll post the next chapter faster! I promise! Hehehehehe oh and by the way, I don't hate Touya, I just felt like making him mess up a lot. Ok, ddc out.