Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Yu Yu Hakusho and the Holy Grail ❯ God, crazy frenchies, and the historian ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except I do own the special edition dvd of monty python and the holy grail. ^_^

Summary: oh yeah who's back in action? ^_^ well I must say I'm surprised I got as many reviews as I did. Especially on ff.net, where this fic is usually shadowed cus of Disney Karaoke. AND SPEAKING OF WHICH IM SO MAD THAT THAT WAS BANNED!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr ok I'm fine. I blew up a couple of buildings yesterday, but I'm fine. ^_^ well, here you are readers! The newest chapter of Yu yu hakusho and the Holy Grail! Enjoy!

*scene stage place *

Ddc: GET UP YOU LAZY BUMS!!! WE GOTTA FILM AT LEAST TWO SCENES TODAY!!!!!

Kurama: *yawn * At this rate it'll take us a year to finish the movie

Hiei: Hn. Tell me about it. I have better things to do with my time you know.

Ddc: oh really. Enlighten me.

Hiei: Well I could be training, jumping from skyscrapers, watching my sister….

Kuwabara: you have a sister?!!?!?!?!

Yusuke: *slaps the back of Kuwabara's head * BAKA! You were there when I said that! And you said that you bet she was a pain in the ass and ugly. Which isn't true…. Oops said to much.

Hiei: >_< YUSUKE!!!!!!

Kuwabara: NO I WASN'T!!!!! Though all those things are probably true.

Hiei: I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!

Kurama: Wait it really wasn't him that time! That was the imposter remember?

Yusuke: Oh yeah. Oops my bad. Sorry Hiei ^_^;;;;;;;

Hiei: RAR!!!!!!!! *attacks Yusuke and Kuwabara in giant anime dust cloud*

Ddc: *puts two fingers on temple * All this fighting is giving me a headache! Someone make them shut up.

Kurama: *rubs ddc's shoulders * That's physically impossible. They could be at this for a while.

Jin: Yup. Might as well get some chocolate.

Touya: Oh no, you're not getting any chocolate. It does stuff to you.

Jin: ^_^;;;; I got no idea what you're talking about Touya.

*3 hours later *

Hiei: *wiping hands on cloak* well that was fun.

Yusuke and Kuwabara: *covered in bumps and bruises * @_@ @_@

Kurama: Hiei did you really have to do that?

Hiei: Yes.

Ddc: -_-;;;;;;; can we start filming now?!!?!?!

Everyone: Yes ma'am

Ddc: OK! FINALLY! LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!!!

*Scene 7 *

Yusuke Kurama Hiei Jin and Kuwabara: *gallop *

*big booms sound *

Yukina Kieko Botan and Shizuru: *attempting to sing like angels and fail miserably *

*cardboard boards painted like clouds and huge toddler Koenma head fills area *

Koenma: Arthur! Arthur King of the Britons! I am you're concience!

Yusuke: Man I never knew my conscience was so ugly.

Koenma: I HEARD THAT YOU MISERABLE….

Kurama: ^_^;;; um you guys I think you should stop now *points at ddc *

Ddc: *flames erupting around body and black spirit ninja stars are waiting to be thrown from hand *

Koenma: MEEP!!!! I mean, Arthur King of the Britons!

Yusuke Kurama Hiei Jin and Kuwabara: *get on hands and knees *

Koenma: *fails at looking irritated * Oh don't grovel! *mutters * even though I've always wanted to see you do that teeheeheeheehee

Yusuke: You son of a….

Ddc: GRRRRRRR!!!

Yusuke: *shuts up *

Kieko Yukina Botan and Shizuru: *stop singing *

Koenma: One thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.

Yusuke and others: *get up *

Yusuke: Sorry.

*boom *

Koenma: And don't apologize! Every time I try to talk to someone its always "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy".

Yusuke: But you love that!

Ddc: *death glare *

Yusuke: oops *shuts up and looks at ground *

Koenma: NOW what are you doing?!!?!?

Yusuke: I'm averting my eyes, o Lord *mutters * cus you have the biggest ugliest head I've ever seen in my entire life

Koenma: Well don't! It's like those miserable Psalms, they're so depressing. NOW KNOCK IT OFF!!! *mutters again * cus I want you to see my handsome face ^_^

Ddc: OK ENOUGH WITH THE MUTTERING!!!

Yusuke: Yes Ma'am! I mean, Lord!

Koenma: Right! Arthur, King of the Britons, your Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.

Yusuke: Good idea, o lord!

Koenma: OF COURSE IT'S A GOOD IDEA! Behold!

The girls: *start singing again *

Koenma: Arthur this is the holy grail. Look well Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this grail. That is your purpose, Arthur…besides looking at my beautiful holy face, the Quest of the Holy Grail! *disappears before ddc can yell at him for adding in a line *

*boom *

Girls: *stop singing *

Hiei: A blessing! A blessing from the Lord! *gags at having to say that about Koenma *

Jin: God be praised!

*random animated cartoons fly around doing weird things *

*scene dwindles away *

Yusuke: WHO IS WRITING THIS SCRIPT?!?!?!

Ddc: *runs up to everyone * WHAT THE HELL WAS UP WITH ALL THE MUTTERING?!?!?!?!

Kurama: WHEN DO I HAVE A CLOSE UP?!?!?!?

Jin: WHERE IS MY HORN?!?!?!?!?!?!

Kuwabara: WHY DIDN'T I HAVE ANY LINES?!?!?!?

Hiei: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THIS ARMOR OFF?!?!!?!?!

Ddc: -_-;;;; ok enough "who what when where why how" stuff. And to answer you're question, the people who wrote monty python, I still don't have an answer for my own question, I don't know, why the hell isn't it on your head, because you're Patsy and Patsy doesn't have a ton of lines, and you're not so supposed to take it off yet we still have two more scenes to run.

Everyone: WHAT?!?!?! TWO?!?!?! WE ONLY DO TWO A DAY!!!!

Ddc: Normally yes. But today since we wasted 3 hours while Hiei beat up Yusuke and Kuwabara, we're going to go double time. Or is it triple?

Everyone: -_-;;;;

Yusuke: THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!

Ddc: LIFE'S NOT FAIR! NOW GET OVER IT AND GET IN YOUR PLACES!!!

*Scene 8 *

Yusuke and the others: *galloping *

*come up on giant cardboard castle where the sign that says "Camelot" has been crossed out *

Yusuke: *holds up hand * halt!

Kuwabara: *blows horn *

Yusuke: *shouts * HALLO!

*silence *

Yusuke: *shouts again * HALLO!!

Hiei: *dressed as French guard appears on top of castle* Allo! Who is eet? *French accent *

Yusuke: 0_0 Hiei can do a French accent?!

Ddc: -_- what do I have to do to make these people say their lines?

Yusuke: I mean, It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. *sees Hiei's back with group * huh? *shakes head * Whatever. Whose castle is this?

Hiei: *back on castle * This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard! *shows pic of Mukuro dressed up as a guy *

Mukuro: HEY!!!! GIVE ME THAT!!!! *snatches pic and runs away *

Hiei: Aww no more blackmail *pouts *

Ddc: 0_0 where did that come from?!!?!?

Yusuke: *smirks* *thoughts: Yes! I get to order around Hiei AND make fun of Mukuro! Sweet! * Go and tell your "master " that we have been charge by God with a sacred quest. If "he" will give us food and shelter for the night "he" can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.

Hiei: *smirking * *thoughts: Yusuke thinks I'll let him order me. Ha baka he didn't read our script did he * Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see?

Yusuke: 0_0 what?!

Jin: He says they've already got one!

Yusuke: *thoughts: no that cant be right! I'm supposed to order around hiei! Right? * Are you sure he's got one?

Hiei: *thoughts: Baka * *plays innocent and fails miserably * Oh, yes, er, it's very nice,-a *looks to Touya Kurama and Sniper * I told him we already go one

All four: *snickering *

Yusuke: Well, uuummmm, can we come up and have a look?

Hiei: Of course not! You are English types-a!

Yusuke: *confused look * Well, what are you then?

Hiei: I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent you silly king-a?!?!

Jin: What are you doing in England?!

Hiei: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

Yusuke: If you will not show us the Grail we shall take your castle by force!

Hiei: *smirks * *thoughts: Oh yeah the best part * You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so called Arthur-King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniiggets. Thhppppt! Ttthhhppptt! Thppt!

Jin: *cocks head to one side * What a strange person

Yusuke: Now look here, my good demon, I mean man----

Hiei: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! YOURE MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!!!

Yusuke: 0_0

Jin: Is there someone else up there that we could talk to?

Hiei: NO! now go away or I shall be forced to taunt you a second time *sniffs*

Yusuke: Now, this is your last chance! I've been more than reasonable

Hiei: *to Sniper * Fetchez la vache

Sniper: Quoi?

Hiei: FETCHEZ LA VACHE!

Botan: *dressed up as a cow * oh my god why did I agree for this role? Moooo

Yusuke: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall….

*twong *

Botan: *flying through the air * HELP!!! I mean, MOOOOO!!!!

Yusuke: JESUS CHRIST!!!

Knights: CHRIST!!!!

*run away except for Kuwabara *

Kuwabara: AHHH!!!! FATTY!!!!

Botan: WHAT?!?!! *lands on Kuwabara, squishing him *

*thud *

Yusuke: RIGHT! CHARGE!!!!!!!

Knights: CHARGE!!!!!!

*run around while random demons dressed up as farm animals are thrown at them *

Hiei: HEY THIS ONE'S FOR YOUR MOTHER!!! THERE YOU GO!!!

Everyone: *still running around *

Hiei: AND THIS ONE'S FOR YOUR DAD!!!

Yusuke: RUN AWAY!!!!

Everyone: RUN AWAY!!!!!

Hiei: Thppppt!!!

Kurama Hiei Sniper and Touya: *taunting from castle *

Hiei: *back as Lancelot *: FIENDS!!! I'LL TEAR THEM APART!!!

Yusuke: *laughing * how are you going to tear yourself apart?

Ddc: >_<

Yusuke: Oops I mean. No, no. No, no.

Kurama: Sir! I have a plan, sir!

*two hours later *

*30 fans blow to make a wind *

*saw saw saw saw saw etc *

*clunk *

Hiei: *back as Frenchie * *looks around in an overly stupid manner *

*bang *

*rewr *

*squeak *

*rrrrrrrrrr *

*drill *

*saw saw saw *

*clunk *

*crash *

*clang *

*squeak *

*creak *

*Giant Wooden Bunny with card board ears stops in front of castle *

Hiei Sniper Kurama and Touya: *peak heads out of door *

Kurama: *muttering * c'est un lapin, lapin de bois!

Touya: Quoi?

Sniper: What?

Kurama: A present.

Hiei: Oh, un cadeau.

Sniper: Oui, oui!

Kurama: Hurry!

Touya: What?

Hiei: Lets go.

Touya: oh.

Sniper. On y va

Kurama: Bon magne!

Hiei: Over here….

All four: *push bunny inside castle *

*squeak squeak squeak *

*clllank *

Yusuke: What happens now?

Kurama: Well, now, uh, Lancelot, Gallahand, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!

*pause *

Yusuke: Who leaps out?

Kurama: uuhhhh Lancelot, Gallahand, and I. Uh leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uhhh

Hiei: *slaps head *

Yusuke: Oh.

Kurama: oooo. Um…. I….look. If we built this large wooden badger….

Yusuke: *rolls eyes *

*clank *

*twong *

Giant bunny: *catapulted from castle *

Yusuke: Haha sucker. I mean, RUN AWAY!!!!

Hiei Jin Kuwabara and Kurama: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!!!

Giant bunny: *lands on Kuwabara *

Hiei Kurama Touya and Sniper: *on castle * Oh haw haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw hehehehehehe

*scene dwindles away *

Ddc: *snickers * Nice job Kuwabara! Best performance yet!

Kuwabara: *covered in bruises * Thanks. I do what I can.

Ddc: OK PEOPLE! ONE MORE SCENE AND WE'RE OUTTA HERE!!!

Yusuke: Thank god.

Koenma: Why you're welcome yusuke!

Yusuke: *anime fall *

Koenma: ^_^

Ddc: -_-;;; start the scene already!

*Scene 9 *

Yusuke: Picture for Schools, take eight.

Kurama: ACTION!

Kuwabara: Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened King Arthur. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Arthur became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Arthur, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for the Grail individually.

*clop clop clop clop *

Kuwabara: Now this is what they did; Lancelot…..

Hiei: AHHH!!!!! *slices Kuwabara's throat with sword *

Kuwabara: *dies * x_x

Genkai: *kuwabara's wife * FRANK!!!

*scene dwindles away *

Ddc: HAHAH!!! THAT WAS GREAT!! THE BEST ONE YET!!!!

Kuwabara: You know, when I asked for more lines, I didn't really mean that I'd be KILLED after I said them!!!

Hiei: You know, I don't think that was done very well. Lets go again!

Ddc: *snickers * I would normally, but we don't have enough film, so sorry we wont. But feel free to rehearse again on your own time.

Hiei: *evil grin * It'll be my pleasure.

Genkai: WHY THE HELL DID I HAVE TO BE THAT MORON'S WIFE?!?!?!

Ddc: Because I didn't want to make Yukina be his wife.

Hiei: *mouths words "thank you!" *

Ddc: *winks at Hiei *

Kuwabara: *dumb look * Huh? Whatcha guys doing?

Ddc: *looks innocent * oh nothing. That's a wrap people! Go home! *slaps Yusuke's hand which is reaching for the doughnuts * No doughnuts today Yusuke, those are for me.

Yusuke: WHAT?!?! NO FAIR!!! I had to do THREE scenes!

Ddc: Oh? And I suppose the third scene was the hardest huh? You had to say five whole words?

Yusuke: Yup. And that was hard to memorize too!

Ddc: *rolls eyes * whatever. These are mine! Now shoo!

Yusuke: WHAAAAAA *runs away crying *

Kurama: *pulls Hiei away by hair * Come on Hiei, no more torturing Kuwabara. You can do that tomorrow.

Hiei: OWWW KURAMA LEGO!!!!

Ddc: *eats doughnuts * mmmmm

Darkdemonchild: heheheheh that was fun. ^_^ well how do you all like it? Please please PLEASE review! I'm begging you! Reviews=happiness for me ^_^