Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Yu Yu Hakusho and the Holy Grail ❯ The Three headed Knight and Castle Anthrax ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Tehehehehehe I only own monty python and the holy grail on special edition dvd. But that's a very good thing cus now I can take it over to nikki's house on Tuesdays and watch it! Woohoo!!!

Summary: woot woot! I'm working on a another chapter! Cus ive got a new strategy for my fics now that I have so many out right now, so I'm gonna try to finish this fic and Disney Karaoke as fast as I can, so I can start the others. Then I'll just take my sweet time and wait for YOU guys to review. ^_^ now all I gotta do is write all the chapters ^_^;;;;; which could take a while. Ok but now I'm gonna start! Woohoo! Ok well anyway, enjoy! ^_^

Yusuke: NOW CAN I HAVE MY DOUGHNUT?!!?!?!

Ddc: *eats box of doughnuts* nope sorry we're all out.

Yusuke: whaaaaaaaaa!!! BUT I WANTED THOSE!!!!

Ddc: Live with it. I need em. I'm a growing girl!

Kurama: That doesn't mean you get to eat our doughnuts.

Ddc: Yes it does!!! And I get to eat Cheese nips too!!!!

Kuwabara: NO!!!! MY CHEESE NIPS!!!!!

Ddc: Correction. MY cheese nips. Not yours. *eats whole box of Four Cheese Cheese Nips* mmmmmmmmm yummy!

Hiei: 0_0 is it normal to eat that much cheese?

Ddc: of course it is!

Ozzy: *appears out of thin air * START THE DAMN FIC ALREADY!

Ddc: AHHHH!!!! ATTACK OF THE BRATTY NEIGHBOR!!!!!! *runs away carrying cheese nips *

Kurama: *looks confused * Are we still doing the summary or are we actually supposed to be acting out the movie?

Ddc: *whopping bratty neighbor ozzy with flat of sword * DIE!

Ozzy: *disappears *

Ddc: MUHAHAHAHA I WIN!!!!

Kurama: YO! Are we doing the movie or not!?!?!?!

Ddc: Oh yeah I almost forgot. ^_^;;;;; OK YOU WORMS!! GET INTO YOUR PLACES NOW!!!!!

Yusuke: jeez thanks Kurama.

Kuwabara: Yeah really.

Kurama: ^_^;;;;;;

Ddc: Yusuke stop complaining King Arthur doesn't make an appearance in this scene.

Yusuke: WOOHOO!!! *does happy dance *

Ddc: That doesn't mean that you wont be in this scene though. *evil laugh * Muhahahahahaha!!!

Yusuke: Noooooo!!!!!

* Scene 10 *

Kurama: *reads from off stage * The tale of Sir Robin. So each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels.

Kuwabara: *galloping along with Yusuke, Botan, Elder Toguro, and Reisho trailing behind and a black chicken on his shield *

Yusuke: *muttering * Why do I get all the stupid roles. *starts singing while Botan, Elder Toguro, and Reisho play instruments in background * Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.

He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin.

He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

Kuwabara: *happy proud look on his face * *Thoughts: Weeee I rock! I hope Yukina's watching this!!! *

Yusuke: *keeps singing * He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp

Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken

To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away

And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

Kuwabara: *disturbed look * *thoughts: are those really his lines?!?!?! That's so gross!!! *

Yusuke: *still singing, but smirking now * His head smashed in and his heart cut out,

And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,

And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off

And his pen…..

Kuwabara: EW!!!!! THAT'S SO GROSS!!!

Ddc: >_< KUWABARA!!!!

Kuwabara: *gulps * Well it is gross. I mean, That's…..that's, uh….that's enough music for now lads. Hehe. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.

Touya and Koenma: *scurry by dressed as farmers *

Touya: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom!

Koenma: Touya, I mean Dennis, forget about freedom! We haven't got enough mud!!

Kuwabara: *raises eyebrows after them * Ok that was random *stops in front of three headed knight who's heads are Kurama, Hiei, and Jin * Ok that's just weird

Kurama Hiei and Jin: HALT! Who art thou?

Yusuke: *Singing * He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who….

Kuwabara: SHUT UP! Um, n…n….n…. nobody really, I'm j…..j…j….ju…..just just passing through.

Kurama Hiei and Jin: What do you want?

Yusuke: *Singing again * To fight and….

Kuwabara: SHUT UP!!!! Um, oo, a… nothing, nothing really. I uh, j…j…just…just to um, just to p….pas through, good Sir Knight

Kurama Hiei and Jin: I'm afraid not!

Kuwabara: W…..well, actually, I….I am a Knight of the Round table.

Kurama Hiei and Jin: You're a Knight of the Round Table?

Kuwabara: I am.

Kurama: Jeez they sure pick crappy knights.

Ddc: grrrr KURAMA!!!!

Kurama: I mean, in that case I shall have to kill you.

Hiei: Shall I?

Jin: Oh, I don't think so.

Hiei: Well, what do I think?

Kurama: I think kill him.

Jin: Oh, let's be nice to him.

Kurama: Oh shut up.

Kuwabara: *raising eyebrows at them * Perhaps I could

Kurama: And you. Oh quick! Get the sword out! I want to cut his head off!

Jin: Oh, cut your own head off!

Hiei: Yes, do us all a favor!

Kurama: What?

Jin: Yapping on all the time.

Hiei: You're lucky. You're not next to him.

Kurama: What do you mean?!?!

Hiei: You snore!

Kurama: Oh I don't. Anyway you've got bad breath.

Hiei: Well it's only because you don't brush my teeth.

Jin: Oh stop bitching and let's go have tea.

Kurama: Oh all right. All right. All right. We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.

Hiei: Yes.

Jin: Oh, not biscuits.

Kurama: All right all right not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway.

Kurama Hiei and Jin: Right! *look at empty spot where Kuwabara was *

Hiei: He buggered off!

Jin: So he has. He's scarpered.

*farther away going down trail that says "dead people only" *

Yusuke: *singing * Brave Sir Robin ran away

Kuwabara: NO!

Yusuke: Bravely ran away away

Kuwabara: I didn't!

Yusuke: *smirking * When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

Kuwabara: No!

Yusuke: Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about

Kuwabara: I didn't!

Yusuke: And gallantly he chickened out, bravely taking to his feet.

Kuwabara: I never did!!

*fading into distance *

Yusuke: *laughing while singing * He beat a very brave retreat

Kuwabara: All lies!!!!

Yusuke: Bravest of the brave Sir Robin

Kuwabara: I NEVER!

*scene dwindles away *

Ddc: Tehehehehe yes brave brave Sir Robin.

Kuwabara: WHY DO I HAVE ALL THE STUPID CHARACTERS?!?!?!?!

Hiei: Because you're stupid.

Kuwabara: I AM NOT!!!

Kurama: Actually you are.

Kuwabara: *crying * You guys are so mean!!! Whaaaaaaaaaa *runs off crying *

Ddc: Hahahaha let him go. We got another scene to do. Now get into places!!! *eats cheese nips *

*Scene 11 *

Kurama: *reading off stage again * The Tale of Sir Galahad.

*random noises *

Jin: *crawling on the ground in a rain storm *

Girls: *singing *

Jin: *sees poster of a panted gold grail *

*more random noises *

Jin: *runs up to card board castle * *pounds on door *

Jin: Open the door! *pounds on door again * Open the door! *pounds AGAIN * In the name of King Arthur, open the door!

*Other door creaks open *

Jin: ok then * falls through door in dramatic style * Oww my side *looks up to see a ton of random demon girls *

Random demon girls: Hello!

Jin: 0_0 meep

Botan: Welcome gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax!

Jin: The Castle Anthrax?

Botan: Oh, it's not a very good name is it? Oh but we are nice! And we will attend to your every, every need!

Jin: *looks grossed out * You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?

Botan: The what?

Jin: *looks around * The Grail! It is here!

Botan: Oh but you are tied and must rest awhile! Midget! Crapper!

Kieko and Shizuru: *walk up * Yes, O Zoot?

Botan: Prepare a bed for our guest.

Kieko and Shizuru: Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Botan: *waves them away * Away, away varletesses. *leads Jin up stairs * The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big.

Jin: 0_0 well, look, I…I….uh….

Botan: What is your name, handsome knight?

Jin: Sir Galahad…..the Chaste.

Botan: Mine is Botan! I mean, Zoot! Just Zoot. Oh, but come.

Jin: *rolls eyes * Look please! In God's name, show me the Grail!

Botan: Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious!

Jin: No, look! I have seen it! It is here, in this….

Botan: *grabs Jin's arm * Sir Galahad! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality!

Jin: Well, I……I…..uh….

Botan: *leads him up stairs again * Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blonds and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Ooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.

Jin: *gagging in background *

Botan: *continues talking * We are just not used to handsome knights! Nay. Nay. Come. Come. *pushes Jin onto bed * Oh! But you are wounded!

Jin: *blushes * No, no….it's….it's nothing.

Botan: Oh, you must see the doctors immediately. No, no, please! Lie down *claps hands *

Ruka and young Genkai: *walk in *

Ruka: Well, what seems to be the trouble?

Jin: 0_0 THEY'RE DOCTORS?!?!?!

Botan: Uh, they have a basic medical training, yes.

Jin: B…but!!

Botan: Oh, come come. You must try to rest. Doctor Piglet! Doctor Winston! Practice your art *walks out of room *

Young Genkai: Try to relax.

Jin: *gulps * Are you sure that's absolutely necessary?

Ruka: *winks * We must examine you. *lifts up front part of tunic *

Jin: meep! There's nothing wrong with that!!

Ruka: Please. We are doctors.

Jin: *muttering * not very good ones. *jumps out of bed * Look! This cannot be! I am sworn to chastity!

Ruka: Back to your bed at once!

Jin: Torment me no longer! I have seen the Grail!

Ruka: There's no grail here.

Jin: I have seen it! I have seen it! *runs out of room into another room * I have seen….

Random demon girls: *in bathing room * Hello

Jin: 0_0 Oh. *walks through room *

Random demon girls: Hello. Hello. *say this twenty one more times *

Jin: *runs into Yukina * Yukina! I mean, *looks at script * Zoot!

Yukina: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.

Jin: Oh. Well, excuse me, I…

Yukina: Where are you going?

Jin: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!

Yukina: *gasps * Oh no! Oh no! Bad, bad Zoot!

Jin: *raises eyebrow * Well, what is it?

Yukina: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I have just remembered, is grail-shaped. *shakes head * It's not the first time we've had this problem.

Jin: *gapes * It's not the real Grail?!

Yukina: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty! *looks at camera * Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now, we're glad! It's better than some of the previous scenes, I think.

Yusuke Hiei and Jin: *back as three headed knight *

Yusuke: At least ours was better visually!

Touya: *dressed as farmer * Well, at least ours was committed. It wasn't just a string of pussy jokes.

Kuwabara: *dressed as old man * GET ON WITH IT!

Kurama: *dressed as enchanter * Yes, get on with it!

Army of random demons: *shouting * Yes, get on with it!

Yukina: Oh, I am enjoying this scene.

Koenma: *giant god head * GET ON WITH IT!!

Yukina: *sigh * Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot. Oh, she is a naughty person, and she must pay the penalty. And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!

Random demon girls: *shrieking * A spanking! A spanking!

Yukina: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her you may do with her as you like. And then *takes a deep breath * spank me!

Random demon girl # 15: And spank me

RDG #23: And me.

RDG #19: And me!

Yukina: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!

Rdgs: A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking!

Yukina: And after the spanking, the oral sex!

Rdgs: The orla sex! The oral sex!

Jin: 0_0

Hiei and Kuwabara: *offstage * *faint * x_x x_x

Jin: Well, I could stay a bit longer.

Hiei: *comes in dressed as knight * Sir Galahad!

Jin: *big grin * Oh, hello!

Hiei: *glare * Quick!

Jin: What?

Hiei: Quick!

Jin: Why?

Hiei: You are in great peril!

Yukina: No he isn't

Hiei: *glares at Ddc *

Ddc: *giggling * Tehehehe I'm so evil. Go on Hiei

Hiei: *points sword at Yukina * SILENCE, FOUL TEMPTRESS!

Jin: You know, she's got a point.

Hiei: *grabs Jin's wrist * Come one! We will cover your escape!

Jin: Look, I'm fine!

Hiei: Come on! *pulls Jin to door *

Rdgs: SIR GALAHAD!!!

Jin: No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!

Yukina: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!

Rdgs: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!

Hiei: No, Sir Galahad! Come one!!!

Jin: No! Really! Honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily.

Yukina: *nodding * oh yess. Let him handle us easily.

Rdgs: Yes. Let him handle us easily.

Hiei: NO! Quick! Quick!

Jin: PLEASE!!! I can defeat them!!! There's only a hundred and fifty of them!!

Yukina: Oh yes yes! He will beat us easily! We haven't a chance!!!

Rdgs: We haven't a chance! He will beat us easily….

Hiei: *pulls Jin out door and slams it shut *

Yukina: Oh…oh shit!!!

*outside *

Hiei: *leading Jin away * We were there in the nick of time! You were in great peril.

Jin: I don't think I was.

Hiei: Yes you were. You were in terrible peril.

Jin: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.

Hiei: No it's too perilous.

Jin: *glare * Look it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can!

Hiei: *shakes head * No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!

Jin: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?

Hiei: No. It's unhealthy.

*silence *

Jin: I BET YOU'RE GAY!!!

Hiei: *snickers * No I'm not.

*scene dwindles away *

Ddc: *rolling on the floor laughing my ass off * Ok that was great!!!!!

Hiei: YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!!! *chases ddc around waving katana's *

Ddc: AHHH!!!! *runs away *

Yusuke: YAY! DOUGHNUTS!!!!!

Kurama: I'd better go keep Hiei from killing ddc. Ja everyone.

Everyone: Ja!

Yusuke: *stuffing face with doughnuts *

Kuwabara: awww wshe took the cheese nips with her!!!

Darkdemonchild: ROFLMAO!!!! I'm so evil. ^_^ And if you readers have read any of my other fics, you'd know my personal belief of hiei's……sexual preference. ^_^ tehehehehehee poor yukina. I just had to do that though. It was great. ^_^

Hiei: DIE!!!!

Me: AHHHH!!!! *runs away shouting behind her * PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!

Kuri and Kurama: *sitting in lounge chairs watching Hiei chase me around *

Kurama: This is entertainment at its best.

Kuri: I agree.

Me: SHUT UP AND HELP ME!!!!

Hiei: RAWR!!!!!!!