"Flight of Innocence" Reviews/Comments [ 39 ] |
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Reviewed By: Frederikke On: August 04, 2005 15:47 CDT Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: hey I just want to tell you that i love you story and i wish you would write more fics with Frieza and saiyans...i also think that Frieza is the hottest and coolest villian i have ever seen and i totally adore him ^-^ he is just sooo cute. so keep on writing...
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Reviewed By: Lady Domenique [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2003 13:50 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: Please make an update!!!!! |
Reviewed By: latina On: February 24, 2003 16:44 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: I'm still waiting for an update.Keep em coming |
Reviewed By: latina On: February 24, 2003 16:44 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: I'm still waiting for an update.Keep em coming |
Reviewed By: its meeeeeee!!!((heather's crazy friend)) On: February 22, 2003 16:15 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: Umm.. anyone who takes the time to read this... heather'll be a bit before she can update this... she's got a suprise... not telling you, she'll kill me... heh heh heh.... |
Reviewed By: its meeeeeee!!!((heather On: February 22, 2003 16:15 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: Umm.. anyone who takes the time to read this... heather'll be a bit before she can update this... she's got a suprise... not telling you, she'll kill me... |
Reviewed By: Lady Domenique [MediaMiner Member] On: December 28, 2002 13:35 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: I love this story, there are not many Frieza Story. So please write a next chapter. |
Reviewed By: crazyraditzlover On: August 31, 2002 16:27 CDT Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: that was one hell of a story...i'll never look at freeza the same way...keep it up! |
Reviewed By: Arianah On: August 22, 2002 21:48 CDT Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: OMG!!!!!!!!! that was sooooo good hev, im mean lke super good, it was almost SHMOOPIE!!!!! and that is saying something cause the only thing ive found thats shmoopie is joshs glasses... ARI, NOT ARII!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! and how do you "pow" i think you meant bow.... and you need more ari next chappie.. and an arianah reaction to raen and sheemy being there ( she doesn't know) and.......... STOP MAKING ME SO SHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry. bad day. im hyper and bitchy... NOT A GOOD COMBO.......... not at all... and to all you other guys out there... HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! i get to see accual pictures of suicune and frieza and all them........oww my head hurts now.. im trying to make this reveiw as long as a poor lil' sayian elf can but its hard...
hi.
hi.
hi....
so how are you? i realize i wont know how you are until you read this...BUT OH WELLLLLLL..............
hi.
im bored.
ari should cuss frieza out.
have her within character next time or ill..
do something veeeeeeeery mean.
hi.
hi.
hi.
hi.
hi.
hi.
bye. ^^ |
Reviewed By: iCeR On: August 13, 2002 20:07 CDT Comment/Review: Awesome story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Reviewed By: Einstein's Brain [MediaMiner Member] On: June 29, 2002 06:02 CDT Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review: Style of Writing I like how the reader gets to see things through the eyes of the two main characters. Sentence structure is laid out clearly, I could pretty much always tell who was saying what. There are some things that confuse me, like how the sayian girls got from Vegeta-sei to Pern in the first place, but I assume that this will be cleared up later. Also it was somewhat confusing when the timelines skipped forward and backwards. The interchanges between Frieza, Zarbon, Koola, King Cold, and the rest of Frieza's henchmen seem true to character and I can picture them actually saying the things they do. I like the relationship between Frieza and Zarbon, how sometimes they almost seem like friends and then again sometimes it seems like Frieza cannot stand him. I also like the relationship between Frieza and Koola, they play off of each other very well, just like normal brothers do and you can tell they care about each other. Overall though it is well written piece with good descriptions that make reading the story enjoyable. The sex scenes especially had erotic descriptions that dont come across as being either too corny or too rough. Sometimes with a single sentence you convey a good deal of emotion to the reader and it is rare to find that in fanfiction stories (especially stories rated NC-17)
Spelling At first the spelling did bother me but as the story progressed a good deal of the spelling errors were cleared up, although some still seemed careless and make the story seem sloppy. I recommend finding a beta reader through a mailing list or allowing another fanfic author or friend to proofread your story before posting it. Little or no grammatical errors, or at least none that I remember.
Originality By far this is one of the most original stories I have read in a very long time. At first I was skeptical that a romance between Frieza and a saiyan could ever be written well enough to be believable, but you did manage to pull it off wonderfully. I like how they are both bonded by being social outcasts with painful pasts, and it is interesting to see how this will affect their future relationship. I also like how you have incorporated allusions to both the Dragonriders of Pern and even a little of Lord of the Rings and even some mythology as well. The bits of fantasy only serve to add more depth to the story.
Enjoyment I give it the highest rating because once I started reading the story I did not want to stop until i read it all. I wish there were only more stories out there about characters like Frieza and even some of the other villians, such as Cell, Cooler, Turles, etc.
Overall It would have been a perfect delight to read if I did not have to pause to try to puzzle out what some of the words said. But since you have continually stated that you realize you cannot spell, then I will not harp on it, and readers will just have to suffer such as I have done if they wish to read the story. I hope you do continue this story for it sounds very interesting and I do wish to find out what happens between Suicuine and Frieza and the rest of the gang. |
Reviewed By: Lacquestar [MediaMiner Member] On: June 25, 2002 14:19 CDT Comment/Review: "And the wind sounded like wolves singing mournful songs of the old world."
I love that line, what a beautiful description!
Glad you are keeping up with this story and I don't care if it takes you a long time to update. It's like the saying goes, great minds think slow, or something like that *_* |
Reviewed By: Responsible Reader On: June 25, 2002 12:32 CDT Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: I've been reading this story for a while, but this is the first time Ive bothered to review (doncha hate people like me?" Anyway I am soo glad you decided to continue with the story and I really want to see more now. |
Reviewed By: The White Namek [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2002 19:36 CDT Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review: I'm finding this story to be highly enjoyable. There just aren't enough Freeza stories out there. I'm glad to see yours continuing to grow.
Perhaps you should get a beta reader to help you with spelling. :) |
Reviewed By: Dignugs On: April 16, 2002 02:16 CDT Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: I reviewed this story a while ago, but i like it so much that i am reviewing it again! Yes write more lemons please cause a lot of the others suck majorly. Sotry is still great and i really like the insane frieza in this story. i like how he is always yelling and snapping at people, so much like the real frieze. i can tell that you actually care about frieza and even koola because i think you have both of their personalities down. i'm rambling now, so i'll just stop and end by saying i really like your story. |
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