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| "Dee" Reviews/Comments [ 31 ] | | Pages (3): [ 1 2 3 › » ] | Title: OH BOY!!!
Reviewed By: AKASHA721 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 20, 2007 02:56 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think you are doing a great job on this story but you need to update and soon. I like the way you're fanning out Ryo and Drake.
| Reviewed By: deathangellover [MediaMiner Member] On: November 25, 2007 14:20 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
*takes a deep breath* Okay. I LOVE YOUR STORY!!! I just read 12 chapters straight through and I am hooked. Please torture Rose... a LOT... I am also a proud member of the `Rose deserves a kick in the nads' club! Maybe worse... *grins evilly* I'd leave a longer review, but sadly I've had all of my vacation to do my homework and I haven't started it yet. Please continue this soon!
| Title: I'M BACK!!!!!!
Reviewed By: Daxemon [MediaMiner Member] On: November 01, 2007 14:32 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
*Grovels for forgiveness* I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry and did I say.....I'M SORRY!!!!............*whimpers* Well now that's out of my system on with the review, this review will culminate both chapter 11 and 12, since I been remise in my reviewing {I'M SORRY}. here we go.............Ryo being hit on by 15 year old, disturbing is an understatement, also I can't help being a bit jealous that she gets to rub up on him and straddle his thighs and press up against him *starts to sweat profusely* what was I saying....oh yeah disturbing. Poor Ryo pinning for Dee and I agree with Subu awesome line from Ryo "Not someone you know, and not someone I have the privilege of seeing." Is JJ finally getting the hint YAAAAYYYYY!!!!. Tattoo ahoy *drool* he was craving sex like crazy what are you doing to me with a line like that Ryo, sex Ryo, sex Ryo, sex Ryo, sex....Poor Ryo he's so alone, well I have to admit I had to read that line like 5,6,7 okay 15 times. Booooooo to Dee...Yaaaaaayyyyyyyyy to Drake, go get your man. I don't blam Ria for having Alex a.k.a. Ryo on the brain he's freaking gorgeous.......Naked.Wet.Drake*shivers with delight* Love the verbal confrontation between Berks and Drake. Nice Drake now JJ has no choice but to pay attention now that their might be some competition for your attention. I wonder what Drake is up to, watch your ass there Drakey ol' boy, Berkley is one slippery eel. Garita your fic is coming along quite, quite well. I am ashamed that I took this long to update, I know how it feels to write something and not feel like anyone has taken the time, but trust me that is not so. I've read chap 11 like 3 times and chap 12 like 2, I just didn't have the opportunity to properly review. One or two or even 5 line reviews when it comes to you, Kita and Subu are just not acceptable, so that's why I took so long since I couldn't squeeze the time in neccessary for one of my reviews. I can't wait to see what happens next Garita, Berkley is gonna get his and not in the way he thinks. Till next update. Your grovelling and repentant "Muse" Daxemon.
| Title: *grins*
Reviewed By: Kita and Subu-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2007 03:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
HIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! Sorry, it's been so long... I had to go out of town for three days and *pokes* Subu's been on this Live Journal writing kick. I LOVE YOU FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!! *bounces* (Thanks, Kita. I didn't need those eardrums anyway. Yes, I know. Sorry for that. I've been working on some fics on LJ, and admit to getting a little distracted. It's the same one I've been posting on AFF. I've been waiting for Kita to get back to finish it because... well, you know... *small voice* the smutty part. *blushes* Anyway, *clears throat* I'm liking how the story is picking up. Your sense of timing only gets better all the time and you have developed a wonderful turn of phrase. Honestly, you are getting to the point where I can't say anything but praise. You have completely lost the rather muddled train of thought sentences that were in the early chapters, and have a crisp, sharp narrative voice, that uses just the right words to set the scene. "Not someone you know, and not someone I have the privilege of seeing." Smart line there and just says so much about how much Ryo misses Dee. If you want to see the story [and other random writing] 'A second Bite' drop me a line and I'll e-mail you with the link to my LJ. And I don't hate mushrooms, I just despise the large half-raw chunks Domino's and Pizza Hut put on pizzas. I love them in sauces and other things, just not on pizza.-S.) AND YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! ROSE GETS WHAT'S COMING TO HIM, NEXT CHAPTER! *throws confetti* Now where is it? Bring on the next chapter!!!
| Reviewed By: Hana_Tenshi [MediaMiner Member] On: October 10, 2007 19:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
....Okay, so I read the whole story all the way through, very thoroughly, and then I came to drop a review....only to discover that all the other reviewers have caught, like, EVERYTHING. -is thoroughly disappointed that she doesn't get to prove that she CAN be smarter than she sounds- Ah, well....them's the breaks, I guess. I'll just wait for an update and give my comments on THAT one. And until then, I'll hang around and bug you. Anybody got any idea why I can't seem to get reviews through to Kita and Subu, by the way? Anyway....yeah. I'm going back to read this again, 'cause JJ's just so damn huggable. *skips off*
| Reviewed By: Daxemon [MediaMiner Member] On: October 04, 2007 14:51 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey....sorry I took so long to update. Well here we go...........................Poor Drake. Having Rose calling him by his name and not his title, what a slimeball....a hot slimeball, but a slimeball none the less. I could imagine how he sounded...like a snake hissing. Well "fight or flight"...I guess in Drakes case it's more "flight" than "fight". "Rose stood up from his chair, and Drake tensed closer to the door. He rested his hip against the table and took his glasses off. Sign number one of impending assault." I LOVE IT. He kissed JJ's Drake, how could he, now Drake has to boil his lips. JJ really is clueless isn't he....hint hint JJ. It's so cute that he misses Drake so much that he can't even concentrate on work. Ryo, Ryo, Ryo.....15 or not she's still a female and she has her eye on you *slowly reaches out and strokes Ryo's hair lovingly* *faints from overstimulation*. Poor Dee he misses his Ryo, I knew he wouldn't be able to forget about those earings........Surprise, Surprise...JJ showing up on Drakes doorstep so late at night. You think your confused JJ, just imagine poor Drake. "You have no right to confuse me like this! Damnit Drake, YOU'RE NOT DEE!", JJ HOW COULD YOU? It's not Drakes fault. Oh well, let the chips fall where they may. Was he such a fool to believe that perhaps he could sway the kitten's attentions? "Kitten" awwwwwww, that would be such a great pet name for JJ, *curls up in a chibi ball*. Great update Garita.....can't wait to see where the rest of this goes. WOOHOO, way to go Garita *puts away giant hershey bar, what's left of it anyway*. Till next update. Your "Muse" Daxemon.
| Reviewed By: Hana_Tenshi [MediaMiner Member] On: October 02, 2007 19:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh, and...I'm going to go back and read the story nice and thorough next week, so I can leave a nice, detailed review like Kita and Subu. I can't do it tonight 'cause I have an AP Euro test tomorrow that I absolutely CANNOT do badly on, but.... Next week is fall break, and I plan to spend the entire thing going back over my favorite fanfics and leaving nice, detailed, beautiful reviews for my favorite authors. (You'll be on that list, both because of this story and because of your ties to Kita and Subu.) -squeals- I LOVE FAKE!!!! ....Sorry.
| Reviewed By: Hana_Tenshi [MediaMiner Member] On: October 02, 2007 19:52 CDT
Comment/Review:
Okay, so...Kita and Subu pointed me in the direction of this fic, and....I'm dying for more. Update. Now. Go on, do it now. I DON'T GET ENOUGH JJ/DRAKE FLUFF AND I NEED IT NOW!!!! -whimpers- Pwease? I'll send you lots of nice reviews to feed your starving soul....
| Title: *URK*
Reviewed By: Kita and Subu-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: September 29, 2007 16:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
*goes hunting sharp pointy object to use on Rose* You bastard!! You kissed Drake!! *Screams and pounces on Rose* I'm gonna kill you!!!! *Pant, snarl, growl* (*shudders* And the scary thing, Garita? She's not kidding. She is actually staring off into space with a murderous expression and growling like an over-sized dog. She's stating to scare me and I have to live with her! *shudders again* Kita, put down my Ginsu knives! Thank you. Let's get on with the actually review, shall we? Kita? Kita! Kita, put that down this instant! My electric carving knife is not for you to play with! We're trying to leave a review here, remember? Thank you. *keeps one eye on Kita* Wonderful chapter as always, dear. You're writing continues to improve. Smarmy Rose was so very in character and Drake's nervous reaction to his proximity was exactly right. I am a little surprised he didn't pull a Ryo and try to beat the living daylights out of him, but perhaps Drake remembers that Rose is his superior. When did he start hating his own name? Very good line there. Minimal words to say exactly the right thing. Suddenly the world made sense again. Here also. Wonderful exposition for Drake. One minor edit when JJ took his coat off... the proper tense of the verb is "hung" not hanged."And how did you know that I hate onions? I've never told anyone! You have no right to confuse me like this! Damnit Drake, YOU'RE NOT DEE!" Nice JJ freak-out there. Clue one, JJ, the man even notices how you like your food. I've had exes that still didn't know I hated mushrooms on my pizza. That last moment in the kitchen was priceless. Are we getting a clue now, JJ? There has to be a reason Drake hates one of his dearest friends. And poor Ryo has no idea what he's in for... *tsk,tsk,tsk* Nice chapter, love, and can't wait for the next installment. I know give you back to my teeth-knashing co-reviewer.-S) *beats on computer desk* Kill Rose!!! Destroy him!!!! (Urh, never mind that. Wonderful story and we'll see you next chapter! Kita, put down my sword!!!)
| Reviewed By: Daxemon [MediaMiner Member] On: September 28, 2007 10:21 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey G Now first and foremost hell yeah....I would love it if you would bounce ideas, full updates, thoughts, words, anything that you need, it would never ruin it for me, it would actually make me feel a little proud to be a part of such a great creation.*swells with pride* Now off and running to the review. OH OHHHH...Ryo has nerves of steel to not react at all when he overheard what the "dishwater blonde" said (your descriptions are so great and unique, I love it), I guess sometimes you are lucky when you inherit one parent's lineage than anothers, good thing for Ryo he got his father's features more than his mother. Next, Dee is so wrong to laugh at Drakes obvious distress and what's with him dropping things on his lap when Drake enters a room (first coffee, now cigarettes). Ted's line "Bullshit. No one tackles air like that for fun.", that was priceless. The moment between Drake and Dee on the roof was so, so great. Drake wanting to confide in Dee, yet also wanting to throttle him for stealing JJ's affections, ah what a dilemna and on top of everthing,he's still being harassed by Rose *tries not to laugh at Drakes pain* ahahahahahahaha *fails miserabley, again*. Dee cannot find out that the original location for Ryo's unercover job was torched and everyone died, God knows what he would do and Rose would have to find someplace far and dark to be for a while. Talk about bad timing, Drake walking in just in time to see JJ throw himself at Dee,that had to hurt. Dee being Dee will try to help out his friend in need...hopefully trying to figure out Drakes problem will keep him occupied enought to not find out about Ryo's situation and keep him from going ballistic.Irritated, the green-eyed man kicked at the lavender spot on the floor. I suppose the lavender spot was JJ. *giggle* Now see that's what I mean by I love your descriptions and there being unique. Well, hopefully my review wasn't all over the place, I tried to be thorough. Before I run out of characters here, I just want to say this was a great update and like I stated earlier, don't hesistate to use me to help you push this fanfic along. Till next update. Your "Muse" Daxemon.
| Title: *giggles*
Reviewed By: Kita and Subu-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: September 26, 2007 16:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
Dog, baby, I invented the "kick Rose in the nads club." OMG, I love, lovelovelovelove this chapter!!! Poor, poor Drake!!!! *goes off to contemplate how best to Kick Rose... "I think I've got some steel-toed boots around here"* (Thank you for that incisive comment, Kita. Another fine chapter, Garita. The Drake trauma is wonderful and his reaction to Dee's simple touch is perfectly in line with what he's going through. Despite his current attraction to JJ, He has no idea how to react (other than running like hell) to the sexual harassment by another man. And don't worry about the chapter running away from you. Some of the best chapters tend to do that. I particularly like Ted's line "Bullshit. No one tackles air like that for fun." Very Ted. Ryo has his own set of troubles now, including a leak in the department. This is getting better all the time... Very nice description of Ryo's feelings when the snitch told James about him. I can't wait to read more. And it's fine if you want to leave it "iffed"... I'm just more familiar with the other version. And I'm not adverse to waiting for the nice juicy lemon. Anticipation is the best spice. -S.) *glomp* I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!
| Reviewed By: moontatoo [MediaMiner Member] On: September 24, 2007 22:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow, this is great! I LOVE your artwork too--my favorite is the dolled-up Drake piece, where Berkeley is checking him out. Can't wait to read more of this very good fic. Moontatoo
| Title: HEY GARITA
Reviewed By: Daxemon [MediaMiner Member] On: September 20, 2007 13:29 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
How did you know I like a smarmy Rose.....Ha hahahahahahah.......Drake...got...felt...up....hahahahahhahahahahahaha. *rolls around on the floor* Can't catch my breath. "Fuck Rose" hahahahahahahahahahah. Okay, Okay. I think I can pull myslef together now *snicker* ahem....Now on to the review. Awesome Awesome update. Poor JJ he's so confused and Drake isn't helping the situation by flaunting all the goodies around...too bad for Drake that when there's blood in the water sharks do come a runnin'. I can't wait to see what kind of tattoo Ryo gets, anything on that flawless body would look great. Now about the whole Drake/JJ storyline. If you want to go for the whole angsty, but turnaround happy ending {with lemon *clears throat*}, so that you can concentrate on the Dee/Ryo story more power to ya {lemon}....I can't wait to see where you go with the rest of this fic. You literally have me pacing sometimes.....my mind running in cirlces {lemon}. I wonder if Rose will get another feel and if JJ finds out, what would he do..hmmmmm {lemon}. No matter what path you take....I'll be right there with you. Don't let your Dad get to you, you have us.....don't know if that's such a great thing, but we're still here. Love ya. Your "Muse" Daxemon
| Title: WHOOOHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo!
Reviewed By: Kita and Subu-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: September 19, 2007 17:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
*does the crazy dance* OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG,what you did!!!! Oh, and are you okay, Dog? But, but, but... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, What you did!!!! *WHAP* (Jeez, breathe, why don't you? And leave a few characters for me, huh? First off, let me say, I'm sorry for the problems at home. I've had a few of those. (see rants about my mother for proof) Kita's told me about your Dad not liking your art, and I say, bah! If I had half you and Kita's talent for drawing, I would not be working retail for a living. So you go right on drawing and don't let him bug you. "those with lesser talent must invariably degrade those with the greater in order to make themselves feel superior." One of my favorite quotes and wholly appropriate to the situation. That being said, lets get on with the real review, shall we? And Bravo. A very well written chapter. And more of smarmy Rose! *chuckles* The look he gave Drake wasn't lost on anyone. JJ snapped his pencil's lead. Very nice there. And Rose's sexual harassment there at the end. We all know that's what would happen. As soon as he realized Drake was sexually attractive, he'd be on him like white on rice. Very well done. One thing Kita actually noticed was-And he was iffed (miffed)that JJ still hadn't said anything That's all. And I don't mind that Dee and Ryo are the focus of this. I'm enjoying the story very much as it is. *laughs* And far be it from me to be bothered by angst. What, JJ pining over his growing feelings for Drake in 'Misery' wasn't proof enough for you? And you're doing wonderfully with the whole thing. I'm still having fun with the concept of Rose going after poor Drake. SO now he knows what Ryo felt like, eh? Your writing is concise and clever, with just the right amount of humor and zest thrown in to leaven the darker side that's still lurking in the shadows. Still waiting for Ryo's new tattoo and poor Dee's reaction to it. Have a feeling that's going to lead to another Lemon, eventually. *grins* When you do get to the end, neither of us would be adverse to seeing a slice of good old citrus between Drake & JJ (Even if it's only key Lime *snerk*) Okay, so time for me to let Kita get back to squealing at you. -S.)I don't squeal!!! I just yell, enthusiastically. (Ooh, and she learned a big word!) SUBU, YOU SHUT UP NOW!!!! Meanie! *Glomps* You know we love you, right? And if you really need us, all you have to do is say so. *Cuddles* But I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE this story and I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOV ELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE you too! EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I can't wait for the next chapter!!!!! *glomps and snuggles* My friend! Love, Kita
| Title: WOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reviewed By: Daxemon [MediaMiner Member] On: August 27, 2007 13:05 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
*IN FULL FANGIRL/MUSE MODE* You are freaking awesome, can we say worth the wait. Brief, but to the freaking point. First: Ryo. Bar. Gunfire. Hot, Hot, Hot. Drool, Drool, DROOL. *goes and gets mop* Pardon me. Second: The Drake/JJ plot.......YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY *glomps and misses*. I love the fact that you gave Drake a full frontal hottie moment with the three biggest hornballs in the precinct taking ample notice. Berkley {"Being a fan of the blond-ish breed, it was a very nice change of scenery."}, JJ and Dee {although Dee does have Ryo, it doesn't hurt to look and from his reaction he was looking pretty hard} will be finding it hard to concentrate on work. Third: The Ria character coming along very well, I think that you have us all just panting and waiting to see what happens with her next. Fourth: Poor Ryo, pinning away for Dee, my heart hurts for him, but maybe Dee could come a calling again and maybe this time the whole lemon would be okay *hint,hint*. Overall this update was worth the wait. I'm not just saying that because I'm THE Muse for this fanfic, but seriously this update was really great. I'll see about writing something else and Iroically it turned out I was a fan of your art on Deviant for about 2 months now and isn't it a small world. Thanks for the dedications so far my favorite one is "JJ's Hyperness: Again" I had to create an account to see it, but it was well worth it and now I have a deviant account to boot, which is so awesome, thanks to you. Before I runn out of characters and my lunch hour, I'll wrap it up. Great update and my suggestion for next time is keep going on the road your on your doing fine, maybe you could have a slight interaction with JJ/Drake when it comes to Drakes hottie moment and the fact that JJ had a complete brain drain at the smoking hottness of Drake. How ever you go about it, I know it'll be great. That's all for now. Thanks. Your "Muse" Daxemon
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