| "Naruto - Deserted Island" Reviews/Comments [ 46 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
Reviewed By: Demonboyperry On: January 22, 2010 13:07 EST
Comment/Review:
i like you stories but could you tayuya where still alive and she captured and naruto has to take her to a prison in another country
|
Reviewed By: Gundam Pilot On: November 20, 2009 14:05 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
First off, thank you for the very enjoyable series; I can't wait for the next installment. I would like to see a chapter in the future with Koyuki and one with Koyuki AND Shion with perhaps Sakura and/or Hinata. However it is your choice.
|
Reviewed By: Zeful On: September 28, 2009 08:51 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story but you use names far to often, even right after using it. It makes some sense in the chapters with two or more girls, but you can still use pronouns a little more often. You also have some trouble with repetition of lines. Critiquing aside, I was wondering if your were going to do a chapter with someone that doesn't really know Naruto, like Tayuya or Anko. Or maybe Ino and Tenten.
|
Reviewed By: XxxDaveySoSexy10 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 08, 2009 01:24 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
i have really enjoyed this story. you are a very creative author and you offer good insight as to how these pairings could be plausible. one mistake i'd like to bring to your attention is in this chapter. in the beginning of the chapter the ship sinks after a lightning strike, but towards the middle the reports shizune receive say the ship sunk in a pirate attack. bu, it is still a goo story, keep up the good work
|
Title: Hot as always!!!
Reviewed By: Gravenimage [MediaMiner Member] On: September 07, 2009 22:14 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another hot chapter truly hot and very steamy lemon hehe...anyway next should be Anko or Karui from cloud and Samui too.
|
Title: Wonders...
Reviewed By: Inquistive On: August 17, 2009 19:06 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was wondering why Anko was not part of the series. I'll try not to sound incentive but you have Hinata three times and Sakura twice. If there was a problem could I please inquire as to why and ask if you could try an Anko one in the future since you write so well. Ja Ne!
|
Reviewed By: Gravenimage [MediaMiner Member] On: July 11, 2009 11:05 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another hot chapter lemon master next Sakura and Ino also you should do another chapter with Karui and Samui from hidden cloud village.
|
Reviewed By: Burring Truth [MediaMiner Member] On: March 14, 2009 02:51 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
The work that I have seen put into this and earlier chapters is not half bad, to be truthful I would have to say that you've done a good job thus far with what you have. I would also like to ask and maybe suggest some girls a list of girls that you have used yet for your consideration to use in any new chapters so if you would please consider the following girls I would vary much appreciate it; Yakumo,Ino, Anko, Suzembachi, Sasame, Tsume, Ten-Ten, Samui, Koyuki, Hana, Hanabi, Hokuto, Haruna, Isaribi, Karin, Matsuri. As I said these are girls that you've not used yet in any chapter in this series this is one of the two reasons that I've even thought of suggest them, the other is that I have seen little to no faction, story, or series that even has them with Naruto in the kind of light that you use here when there is so many possibilities for them to use, and even if I do find one its even harder to find one that is well done like what I have seen you do here. Well now with that done all I have to say is that I look forword to the next chapters that you post and that I hope that you would atleast consider those that I've suggested for some of your future chapters, but thats up to you so I wish you happy writting and a happy life, God bless.
|
Reviewed By: jj On: March 10, 2009 22:25 EDT
Comment/Review:
please do one with Isaribi and Sasame, or one with Tayuya and Kin, or Kurenai and Anko
|
Reviewed By: dap On: March 10, 2009 15:58 EDT
Comment/Review:
do one with tayuya even though she die, make it like she did not get killed.
|
Title: HOT DAMN
Reviewed By: Gravenimage [MediaMiner Member] On: March 09, 2009 22:16 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OH SHIT!!!! best lemon in the whole story hands down man I what would I do to be in Naruto's shoes right about now damn he is ssssssooooooo lucky to have sex with both Hinata and Sakura keep up the good work lemon master.
|
Reviewed By: inuboy86 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 09, 2009 21:38 EDT
Comment/Review:
Nice chapter bit I'm wondering when will you update your stories on Fanfiction.net? Other than that very nice update.
|
Reviewed By: kyuubis-child On: February 12, 2009 09:44 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a really good story. I especially like the pairings that are in it, except for the sakuraxnaruto pairing but that's just because i think she's a bitch, and i really hope that you continue this story. But when it sais STATUS: COMPLETE, does that mean that the story is finished all together or just that chapter is over with? If it means that the story is over with, than i beg you please continue working on this story. Please update soon.
|
Reviewed By: alphabeta [MediaMiner Member] On: January 28, 2009 23:32 EST
Comment/Review:
Hey, just thought I'd point out a minor annoyance. Uzuki Yuugao is her name written/said in the Japanese style of writing/speaking. More specifically, with the surname proceeding their given name. Her first name is actually Yuugao.
|
Reviewed By: Gravenimage [MediaMiner Member] On: January 19, 2009 08:00 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another awesome chapter next should be with Koyuki, Shion, Sasame, Kin or maybe Tayuya. Also are you planning to write threesomes in the future because I had a lot of suggestions for you on that part update soon.
|
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
