| "A Surreptitious Love Affair" Reviews/Comments [ 11 ] |
Title: awsome
Reviewed By: koinuyami [MediaMiner Member] On: January 28, 2010 01:52 CST
Comment/Review:
all i have to say is, plz write more lol i hate it when i read a story as good as what uve written and it just ends lol great job and i hope to find out that a new chapter is up soon :)
|
Title: review
Reviewed By: o.b. On: November 15, 2008 22:38 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
hi there! you have a very interesting plot going on. i can tell you're trying very hard to get your story flowing, however i think it would greatly improve your writing if you just simplified a lot of its contents. and by this i mean the words or terms that you decided to use. though the words do match what you are trying to say, they do not flow with the rest of the sentence. also, i am wondering if this is your first story. sometimes authors writing their first stories seem to run out of events or climaxes in their plots. i don't know if this is the case with you, but all i have to say is don't be afraid to finish this story with fewer chapters that you expected. it's better to stick to your original plot, especially with one such as yours, instead of over-complicating it by adding different elements such as an all-of-a-sudden abusive hojo. aside from these criticisms i honestly think that your story and yourself as well, have great potential. please kepp updating, i look forward to seeing you and your story grow!
|
Reviewed By: lilyyasha On: November 13, 2008 19:50 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
See, now you've got the flow going! Keep it up :)
|
Reviewed By: Lunabell [MediaMiner Member] On: November 13, 2008 16:36 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great chapter! Good job on the lemon! Lol! If it was me I'd run away with Inuyasha. There no telling what's going to happen to her when they fnd out she's pregnant.
|
Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: November 13, 2008 06:54 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I actually thought that InuYasha was really good... the kind of guy Kagome needs right now... some one who will protect her absolutely and will make her feel happy and not be suffocating...
|
Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: November 13, 2008 06:51 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great chapter... What happened to you really sucks... but I guess no matter where you are you are going to bump into some a$$h0l3 some where... I hope writing this doesn't upset you too much... It kinda reminds me of a friend of mine and I got so angry... (then really, really sad( I so feel like I am over reacting now...)) ANY way... Hogo is very very creepy and InuYasha is very very protective... why are boys in story always better than the ones in real life... *sigh*...
|
Reviewed By: lilyyasha On: October 11, 2008 14:27 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You've got a good set up to your plot. Looking forward to your updates once your AF training is over. Good luck and keep writing, rude critics be damned.
|
Title: Don't worry about it.
Reviewed By: Lunabell [MediaMiner Member] On: October 11, 2008 00:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You're doing a great job, so don't worry abot it. You're story is very good. Criticism is what it is criticism. Like I tell a lot of people who have good stories: don't give up on it!
|
Title: Bleh...
Reviewed By: Lidia On: October 09, 2008 01:14 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
You can tell you're really trying to write a good story and everything and your writing style is a bit bland but good. It sounds like my first story I wrote. If you keep working at it, you'll be great. But the randomly abusive Hojo and suddenly timid Kagome was kind of annoying. A lot of stories that begin to lack in plot throw in rape or abuse like it will spice things up but it just comes out sounding dull and aggravating.
|
Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: September 23, 2008 05:15 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
great chapters! the story line is really good and really flourishing I wonder what is going to happen with InuYasha and Kagome and the "engagement" with the other boy...
|
Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: August 29, 2008 01:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story is going to be SO good!
|
