| "It's in the Family" Reviews/Comments [ 20 ] |
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
Reviewed By: Chikachika On: June 04, 2007 22:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm so happy you updated the story! :P I've been following your stories from quite some time ago (read them on FF.net) and I just checked around and "OMG AN UPDATE!" Thank you. You have made my day. ^.^ I just love your stories so much.
|
Reviewed By: Cristina On: July 06, 2005 04:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
GilShalos, that was yet another great Chapter written by you! :) Thanxs again. I'll be looking forward to Chapter 16. :) Take Care. :)
|
Title: FFRG
Reviewed By: Broken Visage [MediaMiner Member] On: May 24, 2005 16:45 CDT
Comment/Review:
Firstly, do not underline to show emphasis. Emphasis is properly shown through italics (or lack of italics of the surrounding prose is in italics). Also, do not use contractions in narration, this looks sloppy and careless. Use "do not," not "don't." Also, you needn't really describe the entirety of what a character is wearing, at least not all at once. Too, the use of brackets for thoughts is a little awkward and even a little distracting. I personally would suggest that you use italics to denote thoughts, even if they are heard by another character. Now, I have no idea why you used tildas around a paragraph. They have no significance to me, as a reader. As such, do away with them. Also, do not cut off words while in narration. The use of " 'ported" is very bad; do not shorten words when in prose, say "teleported." Shortening words is perfectly fine when in dialogue, since people shorten all the time, but it is not acceptable in narration. Also, do not use numerals for numbers if the number in question is smaller than 100, it looks unprofessional and even a little sloppy. Use "twenty" and "forty" not "20" and "40." The flow is only interrupted when the characters are thinking, due to the brackets. Now, the character interaction is real enough, so that is good. Also, you have a good grasp on descriptions; only at some points could you do with a little more or a little less. All in all, the action is done well enough to give a good visual. Thanks for submitting to FFRG. :-)
|
Title: FFARG review
Reviewed By: devildice708 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 07, 2005 13:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you for submitting this entry to FFARG. I am not familiar with this series, but I'll read this from the first chapter, because your writing style seems to show that you know the series well. You explain everything clearly enough for me to get a vivid picture of the scenes. The dialouge is real enough, and their are few grammatical errors and almost no spelling mistakes (mostly likely none), and that is most definetly a good thing. The only advice I can give you is on the characters' thoughts... you could try putting them in italics so that their easier to distingush. This is also true for words you want to put emphasis on. Once again, thank you for submitting this to FFARG, it was a great piece to read.
|
Reviewed By: Cristina On: February 03, 2005 01:13 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey GilShalos! Thanxs again for the update! Chapter 14 was very entertaining! Thanxs again! :) I can't wait for the next update. Until then. :)
|
Reviewed By: Cristina On: December 07, 2004 02:09 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Woh woh and woh! :)That is a fantastic chapter, GilShalos! I like it, i like it! :) Keep up the great work. I'll be back soon for the update. Thanxs again for keeping me well entertained. Ciao. Cristina.:)
|
Title: Chapter 12!
Reviewed By: Cristina On: October 24, 2004 23:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Love it! :) I enjoyed reading chapter 12, especially when you introduced a new, original character into your story! Thanxs for the update! :) Can't wait for chapter 13.. Keep up the great work! :)
|
Reviewed By: star_fire04 On: October 18, 2004 01:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
thanks for the update, it was great, i loved it. now i hope u will update again real soon.
|
Reviewed By: Cristina On: August 27, 2004 21:37 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hi again its me again, as i said earlier it is a great story but a real shame that you haven't updated...hope to see chapter 12 up and running soon...ciao for now.. :)
|
Reviewed By: Cristina On: June 03, 2004 01:18 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Thanxs for the update! :) This chapter was very well done! :) I love the relationship developing between Orphen and Cleo, and Majic's brother...what a twist in the story, absolutely outstanding!! :) Keep up the great work!! :)
|
Title: falcony32
Reviewed By: falcony32 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 02, 2004 19:47 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another great chapter. This is the only fan fic that I have actually reviewed more then once. Truly great work.
|
Reviewed By: deivlgirl On: June 02, 2004 19:27 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
thanks for the update it was really good and i hope that you will update it again real soon.
|
Reviewed By: Cristina On: May 08, 2004 23:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow, again another brilliant job GilShalos. I just got up to date by reading Chapter 8, 9 and 10. Absolutely brilliant! I'll be back soon to check on your Chapter 11 so keep up the great work! :)
|
Title: Falcony32
Reviewed By: falcony32 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 25, 2004 15:18 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Keep up yhe good work friend.
|
Reviewed By: deivlgirl On: April 22, 2004 22:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
thank u for the update and i hope that u update it again real soon.
|
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
