| "Lover's Phoenix" Reviews/Comments [ 51 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
Reviewed By: DMYamiyugi [MediaMiner Member] On: July 16, 2004 14:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
A kiss from Yugi >_>
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Reviewed By: The Panasonic Princess (too lazy to log in) On: June 17, 2004 12:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
You are a good writer, despite the following. I thought you should know that. Your grammer is nearly perfect, as is your sentence structure. It's just... so much of this is terribly overdone. Things don't just 'happen'. You can't change facts around unless you're writing an AU fic. I understand that many people like this story, and I must admit, so do I. The crossdressing thing is very cool. I think changing 'him' to 'her' randomly is a little confusing, however. You should just stick to 'him', seeing as all three hikaris are boys. If you're going to do something you don't know about, do a little research. Please. There's way too much guesswork in this, and it looks sloppy. It takes away from the plot. The whole thing with the pheonix-- a little too obvious. In my opinion, it wasn't extremely creative. You could have spiced it up a little, instead of just, "They had a dream and woke up with the pheonixes next to them". They didn't even seem suprised or shocked. It was just, "Hey, look, a pheonix, let's name it". That particular scene wasn't very well thought out. Sirius died. We all read it. It's done. You can't bring him back. Even your reasoning was weak. If Dumbledore knew Sirius was alive, why would he go through all that? It doesn't make sense. You need to make your characters a little more realistic. I mean, come on, all the male characters in the story have crushes on the hikaris? That's too unreal to explain. Also very overdone. You're making the hikaris seem larger than life. That's one of the major no-nos of good writing. Yugi on the Gryffindor team? Seen it before. For once, I think I'd like to see something new. Yugi can't be good at everything (see larger than life comment above). Egyptian wands? Also seen it. Boring. Other than that, I think this is a good story. I'll have to check out your other works. I hope that my comments have been taken into consideration. ~The Panasonic Princess (you can find me on both mediaminer and fanfiction.net)
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Reviewed By: Silversphinx On: June 17, 2004 03:02 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
wow! O_O great story. I don't mind you having writer blocks. I do have them myself very often. maybe this will help you. go and take a nice long little walk to a place you like and where you can relaxe. have you ever thought about becoming a writer and write a book and sell it? If you would do this I would buy it immatually. ^_^ Maybe you wonder how I am, but I can only tell you this that Iam a writer myself and soon there will be my first book finished and then I will see if I am able to sell it. I hope to hear and read from you soon. my greatings for the good(not yet finished) chapter.
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Reviewed By: Rowan Girl [MediaMiner Member] On: June 15, 2004 02:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
aww, this story is just so sweet! I love it! >_< I know I woulda helped Ryou... tho he's a girl here... >_< very intersting plot, tho as I'm sure you've been told, it IS similar to other fics, but different enough for me. SO please don't consider this a flame
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Title: Not stupid, just fluffy.
Reviewed By: The Chaotic Ones~ *not signed in right now.... On: May 12, 2004 22:04 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was cute!!! we realy hope you write more soon!!!!
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Reviewed By: Ling Ling On: February 21, 2004 23:13 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I read your other stories like 'Gone' and 'Those Two Years' and I learned that you're a very good writer. After reading those two, I had to look for more of your stories and I found this! *Trumpets playing in your honor* Anyway, I have a question. Are the Harry Potter characters ever going to find out that the Hikaris are really boys? Sorry, but I had to get that off my chest. *Begins to breath normally again* Anyways, Up date soon on this story as well as your other ones and I shall give you a thousand reviews as offering each time an update is made in your very own temple! Yes, I love you that much to give you a temple. So what? ^_~
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Reviewed By: YaminoKitsune(I'll be here at mm.org soon) On: January 26, 2004 12:22 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Kitsune: *Sqeals happily after reading.* Fox: Why did you write this? Now my hikari will be bugging me all the time to come back and see if you've writting more... Kitsune: Quiet fox. This is an extremly good fic. I can hardly wait til there is more. Fox: Whatever you say. Kitsune: Well...I'll be waiting till the next chappie. BYEZ!!!
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Reviewed By: Technical Dragon On: January 06, 2004 20:51 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Pleaze update!!
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Title: Cute
Reviewed By: Sharon (yugiohgirl03 its to late at night to sign in *yawn*) On: December 08, 2003 04:52 CST
Comment/Review:
Very cute fic, I perfer the 2 years story though. Are you going to have Sirus know about the items and the Yamis??? (Yami, Bakura, and Marik) Poor Yugi, Ryou and Malik so many boys hitting on them (*drools* at the thought of Yugi and Yami making out before Sirus walked in)Deadly Chibi Eyes perfect weapon against Snape!!!Good fic!!! A+++++++!!!!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: PsychoChibiMalik On: November 30, 2003 22:30 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG THIS FIC RULES! has two of m favorote things GO and hp! LOL! I love it! hehe if Bakura and Malik get on the sltherin team ..that could be ineresting..and The King of Games as Keeper?LOL! great! and I cannot WAIT till the next chappie is possted!
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Reviewed By: YamiSerenity [MediaMiner Member] On: November 28, 2003 10:17 CST
Comment/Review:
Hey this fic is really cool PLEASE UPDATE VERY SOON because I like both Yu-Gi-Oh and Harry Potter.
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Reviewed By: joeyrules [MediaMiner Member] On: October 18, 2003 23:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
wow this fic is great! plz continue right away! Emily
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Reviewed By: petite_angel [MediaMiner Member] On: October 13, 2003 21:30 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ooooo Cool ficcy!
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Reviewed By: Rebellious_One On: October 08, 2003 20:15 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
This is soo cool!!!! Pleeeeeeesssee update soon!! I kinda wish that ya left Yugi, Ryou and Malik as boys, 'cuz they're such hotties, but I have to admit... I took a look at the "wedding pictures", and Yugi looks EXTREMELY KAWAII in a wedding dress!!!! please hurry with da next chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: daisukedudette On: October 05, 2003 19:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Now that i finally found the person who wrote this lovely fic.......and u haven't updated any faster??? U have to update soon, maybe u should keep on making the Yami's more jealous...hehehehe I love this fic, keep up the great work!!!
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| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
