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| "Bitter Blood" Reviews/Comments [ 24 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] | Reviewed By: Lucient NSI On: September 23, 2005 07:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
I've never read such creativity for a demon. You really got in there to the meat of the matter. I'm not going to be like a previous poster and wank and cry about minor discrepencies. The transition in Sesshomaru's demeanor and Rin's as well as smooth, and rarely lumpy. In the very end when Sesshomaru shows his lighter side, it is quick, but it seems comfortable to him. Sesshomaru is not one to test the waters. He dives in, and that's how you portrayed him...excellent work as usual....James
| Reviewed By: Lucient NSI On: September 23, 2005 06:36 CDT
Comment/Review:
Woah... Rin went off the deep end. But there was Daichi. ::smiles:: Okay, when my woman gets pregnant, I'm not even LOOKING at another PERSON. Yipes, Rin snapped!
| Reviewed By: Lucient NSI On: September 23, 2005 06:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ch.15......Damn... Sesshomaru cheated on Rin with Dokumi. I have to admit, I saw it coming. But I did not see Rin forgiving him so quickly. Sesshomaru is indeed a lucky man, as am I. ((won't go into details, but I did what he did.)) I know he must be dying inside. Your writing is so insightful. I can really see into the characters and put myself in their shoes.
| Title: Bitter Blood
Reviewed By: MJ On: July 30, 2005 20:15 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love your story. I read all chapters in one sitting. Absolutely amazing...there not enough words to say how much i love this story. After chapter 10, i feel sorry for Rin, i almost cryed :-( but after sesshomaru's injuries and all, i have one thing to say: Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman's Scorn!!! She went through all the emotions: anger, hate, forgiveness, and all. I just love how you portrayed Rin, such a strong character. I can't wait to read your other stories. Your an amazing writer!!!
| Reviewed By: klutz82 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 02, 2004 06:34 CST
Comment/Review:
i liked this the second time around as much as the first. it still made a tear come to my eye. i love how your stories still rock the second or third or fourth time around. it says something...well, it says that they rock! (yes, i realize that was lame) anywho, i can't wait for more of your new fic and any new fics in the future. ^_^
| Title: love it!!!
Reviewed By: DevilishDutchess On: October 30, 2004 19:10 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow that was sooo good. i loved the plot! it was such a cute ending! i love how the little kids talk. hey! maybe u can make another continuation of this story! with the kids or something! i dunno. oh well if u dont. but just know its awsome!
| Reviewed By: CRyStaLtears [MediaMiner Member] On: July 27, 2004 16:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
KawaII...i love the lil kids in this fanficcy. i hope to read more of your work!!!...bibi
| Reviewed By: essie [MediaMiner Member] On: May 18, 2004 04:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
omg omg this is a kick butt fanfic ivery much enjoyed reading it
| Reviewed By: lammora [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2004 13:52 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I just finished reading the whole story. I laughed and I cry. It was truely a great story. I loved it from start to finish. it is one of thoses stories that you just have to finish asap. I have read some of your others stories and I love them. Keep it up please. Lammora
| Reviewed By: theMaven [MediaMiner Member] On: April 02, 2004 00:20 CST
Comment/Review:
Me want reviews!
| Reviewed By: Wazzzup? On: April 01, 2004 03:12 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
::sniff:: That was the best! Nevermind that it wasn't all rosy and sappy,your characters matured the most out of many fics I've read. Good Job...I really thought you'd take the story in another direction, but I was suprised with pretty much every chapter.
eve | Reviewed By: .......................... [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2004 02:40 CST
Comment/Review:
^__^
| Reviewed By: YasashiiAme [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2004 00:36 CST
Comment/Review:
Awww, I loved the sequel :D It was amazing... took me a while to read it, since I was sleeping and was busy. Good job, I can't wait to read whatever else you have XD
| Title: Can't keep a good fic down
Reviewed By: Jolly Old St. Nicholas On: March 17, 2004 20:52 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Dude, (I'm sorry. This probably isn't the place for this) your last reviewer was a little harsh, I thought. But, you know what they say? A good author is able to evoke strong emotions in the reader through his/her writing, so judging from his/her 4 reviews, you really struck an emotional chord with them. Especially since they read it all the way through just to tell you how much they hated it . . . Any way, I just wanted to say that I didn't hate this. There are so many Sess/Rin fics out there that turn Sess into a heartless bastard or a total sap. Me, I've always rejected those ideas. Yeah, he's cold and calm on the outside, but what's going on in the inside? And what made him mask his emotions the way he does? Personally, I think you gave us pretty convincing answers to both of those questions. You gave Sess some depth, some heart, a soul . . . Yeah, he did some shitty things to Rin, but, sorry to say, he's a GUY. And guys, ALL guys, are known for doing shitty, thoughtless things to the women in their lives. I'm not saying he didn't have his reasons for "legitimately" getting down with the nursemaid, but like Rin said, if he'd just come to her and talked to her, everything could've easily been worked out . . . But that wouldn't have made for much of a story, would it? . . . I don't mean to be mean to your previous reviewer, but I think they missed a lot of things that, for me, were pretty well spelled out . . . I did read "Things That Can Never Be," and I really enjoyed it. But, at what part is it said that Sesshomaru was CELIBATE during the entire time he knew Rin? Rin said she'd never SEEN him with any women. But think of all the things Sess has probably done that he didn't want her to see. Did he take her off into bloody battles with him? No. Would he parade a ton of strange women in front of her, so he could satisfy his baser needs? No. Those things aren't appropriate for a child to see. Like Jaken said, "he keeps his own counsel on such affairs." And another thing, if you've been getting a steady supply of "loving," whenever you want, however you want, it's kind of hard to go from a downpour to a drought. I can understand Sess' needs. Even Rin commented on how insatiable he was before she had Daichi . . . She said something about his mind being filled with new ways to seduce "his new bride." But, any way, then there was the thing with Dokumi. Why couldn't he just have asked for her help from the beginning? Pardon me while I laugh, but WHEN has Sesshomaru asked anyone for HELP ever? There's no way his demon pride would ever let him do something like that. Besides, if he'd asked Dokumi in the beginning, considering their past (both known and unknown) she would've told him to go fuck himself. I mean, really. What REASON would she have to HELP him in the beginning? She HATES him, and she doesn't much care for Rin, either. That's why there was a lot of plotting and planning going on. It was like a Feudal era soap opera. And, yeah, Sess loves Rin. I saw the Shichinintai arc; I know what he went through to protect her. But she was a little kid then. She wasn't his mate, and she hadn't born him a child. It was easier to protect her in those days. He just had to protect her from bad people, evil zombies and hanyous bent on world domination. But this disease of hers, wasn't something he was equipped to fight. He wasn't sure what to do, so he did what he thought was right . . . which was REALLY WRONG, by the way . . . But, hey, it's a Sess/Rin fic; it's gotta be ANGSTY . . . And, yeah, I'm diggin' "In a Different Light," too. I ENJOY torturous emotions ^_^ Which is part of the reason I LIKED Sess in this fic. It was nice to see that he DOES make mistakes, and he DOES have feelings. He doesn't just get mad or turn into this romantic SAP. He's got a ton of emotions--fear, sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, happiness, LOVE. You've turned him from this iconic character in the anime into a real man with real complexity . . . But you know what? It's not everybody's cup of tea. Some people like reading the same things over and over again. And people always rebel against something that's new and different. It SCARES them; it shakes up the little world they're so comfortable with . . . Any way, I don't cry, but I did cry when Daichi said he loved his dad, and Sess actually broke down. That was priceless, man . . . Keep the good stuff coming, and don't let anybody discourage you ^_^
| Title: NOT a flame
Reviewed By: Dark Phoenix On: March 17, 2004 05:54 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, time to stop whining about infidels and social services and get serious. And this be a serious review. Not a flame. As you can tell, there's good news and there's bad news. Let's get the bad stuff out of the way (and I hope you don't explode first). I offer no apologies for the rating on the enjoyment factor: this story of Sesshoumaru and Rin is simply not my cup of tea. No, life is not a bed of roses, and spouses cheat on and betray each other everyday in the world, but this is manga and such is not how I see these two characters, and neither of us can change the others' mind. I do, however, find the inconsistencies on his character quite jarring: according to the prequel, he was celibate for years before their marriage, why the sudden and inexplicable change? He couldn't have gotten more aroused seeing a bloated Rin recovering from her pregnancy than a lithe one when she was 15? Also, as I mentioned earlier, if he knew about that particular healing ability of the bog demons, why didn't he save them ALL the trouble by asking Dokumi to save Rin (as he did finally), instead of screwing her and putting Rin through all that pain? Again, this is very inconsistent plot- and character-wise (based on your own portrayals of S&R in the precious fic). If this were an original fiction, the overall rating would be considerably higher (around 8); but since this is fanfiction (and not humour even AU), OOCness is a HUGE detriment to the overall quality of a fanfic. Sesshoumaru *should* have been smart enough to determine the least roundabout way of saving Rin, and maintain his dignity at the same time. Neither Kagome *nor* Inuyasha would have stood by and let Sesshoumaru ill-treat Rin--it's simply not in their nature. And as for aristocrats and their mistresses, based on what I've seen in the manga, such as the interactions between Sesshoumaru and Kagura, Mu-Onna (i.e. female youkai), I would say caving in to the baser instincts is, for one thing, beneathe him, for another, for the weak, for yet another, to rob of him of his dignity, pathetic, human-like, worthless... you get the picture. ^^ ALL that, AND he would not intentionally hurt Rin that way, only to realise later the folly of his ways and so on. It's DUMB, obtuse (and thus not him), and from the Shichinintai arc, he cares too much about Rin to deliberately hurt/harm her when he *knows* about the bog demon's ability to heal her. And all that basically mean: you have a major loophole. If there were circumstances that led up to character changes, that would be acceptable, but unfortunately, as outlined above, the characters change too drastically even from the prequel. Done with the bad, on with the good. IMHO, you can write pretty well. I have pretty high standards with regards to spelling, grammar and style--I almost NEVER give 10 for these 2 categories--but overall the style of writing flowed well and was consistent (style-, not plot-/char-wise), and few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors weren't too glaring. I'm seriously anal when it comes to using the spellchecker on finished projects, and truth to tell, my stories have to effing flow like poetry before I deem them worthy of seeing the light of day. But I would rank your style of writing as being above 70% of most of the writers on mediaminer and ff.net (thus the rating), and while the spelling was admittedly better than 85% of the crap I read on MM and ff.net, I believe it can still be improved upon by using a spellchecker like the one MSWord has. Same for grammar. So, in truth, the rating is really 6.5 for spelling and grammar--good job, but you can improve it easily. Originality and creativity is where this fic scores the highest, and honestly the reason why I persisted in reading it to the end, even though my heart broke almost every step of the way (towards the end, I was plotting murder). This is a sad, sad, heartbreaking, sad, demoralising, sad, painful, did I mention sad? fic to read. AFAIK, it's rather original in the IY fandom (although I have read similar in other manga and their fics, and thus expected the betrayal), and I applaud your courage in such an undertaking, but sincerely hope you don't character assasinate my favourite characters again. The idea of the bog demons and Sesshoumaru's being half of one is original and pretty creative, IMHO. :) Kudos. Overall, it's a good thing to be creative and original, but when you're dealing with pre-established characters, you gotta be careful, or you'll cross the line into making them OOC. There are ways to get around it, but THAT takes more creativity, not just brandishing the phrase "creative license". In the end, if you can make your characters believeable to your readers (which is doubly hard when they are pre-established and you want warp them to your own satisfaction), you've won half the battle. I sincerely believe this fic would have generate several times more its current number of reviews if you had taken care to do so. It was a well-written story... but I believe the other readers who did not review, simply could not come to terms with the Sesshoumaru you've portrayed in here, nor his ill-treatment of Rin. That said, review done, I hope "In A Different Light" updates soon and hopefully doesn't take the same route as this fic. *crosses fingers* ^^;;
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