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| "Don't let go" Reviews/Comments [ 160 ] | | Pages (11): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ] | Title: Sorry
Reviewed By: Ladykaa28 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 30, 2004 20:28 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sorry that one bad apple had to spoil the whole bunch. I think that you were doing a great job to say that English is not your first language. It took a lot to be able to pst a story for everone to read. Please try again sometime, you never know how your writing will affect people. Your story could be the one to make some see that their life is not so bad, or that things will get better after while. Just be encouraged to continue despite what people say. I know I didn't comment on your fic, but I did enjoy what I read of it. I have had some reviews that I thought were just plain rude, but others were helpful. Try to remember that everyone has an opinion and will put in their two cents whether you like it or not. Yes you do have some misspelled words and grammer problems, but just a little re-write should help. I think I may have said the same thing as Red Herring, but in a nicer way. There are ways to talk to people with out offending them. Please don't let what he/she said stop you from doing something you seem to enjoy. If you don't post the rest of this fic, at least for your own gratification write it until you come to an end.
| Reviewed By: Niffy [MediaMiner Member] On: May 30, 2004 15:07 CDT
Comment/Review:
NOOOOOOOO! Please conitnue. Some of the the grammer doesn't make sence BUT hey the plot is AWESOME!! Please keep writing. You're doing a GREAT job on this story, DON'T stop updating it! PLZ! PLZ! PLZ! PLZ!
| Reviewed By: Little_Tennyo [MediaMiner Member] On: May 30, 2004 09:44 CDT
Comment/Review:
To RedHerring: BITE ME Really we don\\\'t want flames, ofcourse you could help but by the way you say it ... well its just plain playing being a bitch! I can read her fic just FINE and so does the rest of the reviewers the only one having a problem is YOU ... you don\\\'t have to read this fic ... And don\\\'t typ such long reviews \\\'cause no one reads it all! Anyways ... to the writer of this story: If you don\\\'t update, i\\\'ll track u down and make u ^^ and i think the rest of the reviewers will help me ^^ don\\\'t think we won\\\'t! Bubai, K!$$ and Love ~ Little Tennyo
| Reviewed By: dbzgurl_34 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 30, 2004 04:02 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Me liked your story and think ur doing a great job for someone who doesnt know english that great. Dont worry about what RedHerring is saying about ur story. Alot of people make mistakes...trust me i would know i forgot how to spell my name couple times so ya dont fell bad. But plz dont stop cause of that one person!! SO PLZ UPDATE SOON!!!! laterz 4now
| Reviewed By: whitmangurl [MediaMiner Member] On: May 29, 2004 17:38 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
No plz don't stop. Who cares wat RedHerring said its ur story. PLZPLZPLZPLZPLZPLZ dont stop i really want u to finish it.
| Reviewed By: Lyingeyes911 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 29, 2004 16:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
If anyone wanted to read what you had to say, why did you put it in a r&r line? And, yes, you were right in making your point but you don't have to be such a tight-ass about everything! Christ, pull the poll out of your ass and grow-up! Anyway, it's a perfecto fic. Despite some spelling errors and mispronouncing Kagome (I did the same thing when I started writing, don't blame yourself) it's a very good fic. I loved it.
| Reviewed By: RedHerring [MediaMiner Member] On: May 29, 2004 08:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
I would just like to defend myself for a moment here, by saying: I'm not mean, I'm honest. I tell the truth, as I see it, without any extra coddling. If the story is particularly bad--which it is most often times--my review is a bit harsher. I don't give unnecessary praise. I'm no one's praise monkey. I point out mistakes and tell them what I think needs to be fixed. Aren't fanfiction sites places to post your writing to improve it? //////////// Now the review down below wasn't in the least bit rude. I asked a perfectly sensible question. Do you read stories that don't have a summary? Do you like to read books at school that don't have a summary on the back, so you don't know what it's about? I know I don't. And why wouldn't I point out the correct spelling of Kagome's name?///////////// And just so this review isn't what I absolutely --which is reviews that have nothing to do with the writing of the story--I'll review on the most recent chapters. Here it goes. /////// -__- Chapter 3: In response to your little rant at the top. (I'm sorry, I know this part is supposed to be about the writing, but I can't let this bit go unsaid) I was not rude in any way. I did not make fun of you in any way. I simply said that Kagome's name was spelled wrong, and that you needed to fix it. I even stuck in a helpful pronunciation guide to show you how other readers were reading her name. All I did was not compliment you, which I don't do unless your writing is outstanding. You want rude? I can be rude! //////////////// Alright, here's the scoop. It may have been pointed out before, but you need to work on your punctuation. Commas are missing, and periods are replaced with question marks. Sometimes you don't capitalize the beginning of a sentence, and there are some typos, and some outright misspellings. All those problems could be fixed by either putting in effort to look over your chapter before you post it, or getting a beta. Also, I think your writing skills would improve if your worked a bit more on description. You can start out with describing clothing. You know, what their wearing. However I think that if you do that too much, it imposes an impression of shallowness on the characters. You could describe the town they live in, the mall, the skating rink, but mostly describe their actions better. Don't just settle for "she wrapped his hands around her waist," go for something better, like "She took his arms and tentively wrapped then around her waist. His arms were warm, and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms tightly around her slim frame,"..... actually, that seems a bit sappy, but I hope you get my point. ////////////// It seems that you are writing in omnipotent third. Don't be afraid to stray a bit from writing strictly actions. As long as you aren't delving into a character's thoughts, then you're fine. However, if you do want to write in the intimate third person, then I suggest that you go a bit into character's history, thoughts, and emotions. Character development in a story is always an interesting thing to see. For example: you could explore a characters morals and values, and see if they change with some experiences. /////////// Also, I find the reactions of some characters to be... well, over the top. They seem to scream a lot, smack each other around, and although Kagome would be understandably upset that Inuyasha hit her car, I don't think she would be screaming loud enough to constitute all capitals. In fact, I think people would stare. ///////////// That's all I can think of. Remember to watch yourself with the spelling and grammar, and punctuation. If you go back and check your work, then you'll have a better chapter to post.
| Reviewed By: animeluver17 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 27, 2004 21:13 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
plz update soon i really enjoyed it.
| Reviewed By: LoSt_gUrL8o8 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 27, 2004 04:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey...wow...really good cliffhanger...this story is really good and I hope u put more chapters up soon cuz I can't wait too see wut is goin to happen next so update soon please?...thanx
| Reviewed By: InusDemoness [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2004 22:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think it's a good start you have here!! And don't feel bad. RedHerring is always mean in his/her reviews. In every story I've read and seen one of Red's reviews they've never been nice. Red always has something bad to say to any author in the rudest way possible. I don't see the point really, why be rude when people are more likly to take your advice if you're polite about it? Now, about those gammar errors. I think you should just go back after finishing every chapter and prof-read it yourself if you don't have spell check on your computer. Try reading it out loud to yourself and see if it sounds right. And some of the things you spelled wrong were "want" and you spelled it "wont". And ladys should be "ladies". There were also words missing in sentences, but really it wasn't anything too major. It's not like you butchered the english language or anything as Red would have you believe. Nobody spells everything right all the time, when a story appears that way it's because the author spent a lot of time going back over his/her work correcting things. So please keep writing and don't listen to rude reviews like Red's, as I said he/she is a jerk to everyone.
| Reviewed By: Lemony Fresh [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2004 18:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
well im not gunna FLAME you...just tell you what's wrong. here goes: you've got pretty bad spelling errors in the fic and grammatical errors too. i LOVE the plot of your fic but you need to use some kind of spell checker because some of the grammatical errors make it hard to understand. anyways, DO update! i wanna keep reading it ^.^
| Reviewed By: animeluver17 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2004 17:24 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
very good plz update soon.
| Title: To Redharring:
Reviewed By: Little_Tennyo [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2004 16:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
If daniy wants to spell it like that she can do that. Its her fic. You ALWAYS critized people, when your own fics suck. Really you need to get a life and leave her alone! she does a GREAT job! And your summary's are the ones that suck! Now buzz off redharring, 'cause she has a good fic, and not in all country's are the names spelled the same ya know! To daniy, GREAT that you updated ^^ keep going I really like it. Just ignore Redharring okay ^^, bubai, K!$$ ~ Little Tennyo
| Reviewed By: RedHerring [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2004 14:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
Her name is spelled K-A-G-O-M-E (Kah-go-may). Not K-A-G-O-M-A(Kah-go-mah). Also, if you can't write a decent summary, then how do you expect people to think that you can write a good story?
| Title: YAY first one to review :P
Reviewed By: Little_Tennyo (to lazy to login) [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2004 06:50 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey! I really like your fic. I hope you update soon ... when my computer stops being such a b!tch I'll put ya in my fav. list ^^ I really wanna know whats gonna happen so hope u can update soon! THNX's ... bubai, K!$$ and Love ~ Little Tennyo
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