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| "Beneath the Skin" Reviews/Comments [ 37 ] | | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] | Reviewed By: Trusuprise [MediaMiner Member] On: January 19, 2005 08:57 CST
Comment/Review:
Bravo, bravo. This is an excellent collaboration between the two of you. Style of writing is excellent, the images and emotions your words evoke are deep and well thought out. Excellent combination of emotional and physical action, dialogue is very good, and the amount of sexual tension is amazing. Characterization is so right on that this could amost take place in the cannon universe. The only thing that struck me as odd was the ending, it didn't feel complete. In any case, I am very much looking forward to reading the next chapter, as I'm sure it will be just as good, if not better. I'm anxious to find out more about their backgrounds, about Kikyou, and about how Inuyasha and Kagome will further their relationship with each other.
| Reviewed By: INU-KAGLOVER, On: January 19, 2005 00:26 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Dang you wenches!! I am completely and utterly enthralled with your story! At first, I though we were back in the 15th century, then realized when Inu said "Kitten" that nope, not anywhere near there! Oh, but it was a great read!! I cannot wait for the next chapter, so please don't make me!! Awesome job!
| Reviewed By: LadyMiaka (not signed in) On: January 18, 2005 21:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very good story. Very mysterious so far, but I will very much be looking forward to an update. I'll be waiting to see what happens next!
| Reviewed By: w_j [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2005 19:00 CST
Comment/Review:
I like this story so far. I hope to read another chapter soon. I do have one suggestion and that is to classify it as an Alternative Universe, please, instead of a Continuation. Anyway, I look forward to more good stuff from you. Please update soon. Thanks!
| Reviewed By: DarklessVasion [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2005 17:07 CST
Comment/Review:
Very intriguing. An AU starting so hot and heavy and then you get some information about who is who and what is what...what an evil way to hook a reader. (darnit, I used to be a good girl....) Well, I'm 'hooked' and I can't wait to see how this story will develop.
| Reviewed By: Angelstars [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2005 10:37 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wonderful start. The chapter was perfect for a prologue of sorts, as I was kind of wondering a few things, like where they were and other small details. I shall wait for the second chapter, maybe to find out more on what kind of background they have? How long they've been seeing each other? Maybe even a look into what was going on with Inuyasha as he was near on the verge of transforming? You've got my interest on what kind of relationship he had had with Kikyou and why it obviously pains him… really, you've made me a reader! I look forward to your next update. Thanks for sharing (both of you!)
| Title: nice
Reviewed By: luna chick nsi On: January 18, 2005 08:07 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm impressed with the level of sophistication in this chapter. The way the story and the sexual tension develope together was marvolous. The only thing I had an issue with was I didn't see Inu Yasha get that angry. He suddenly was on the verge of becoming youkai. I know you were telling the story primarily through Kagome's eyes, but you should consider letting us into Inu Yasha, letting us see him explode. Also, there are too many questions floating around. Setting, I have no idea where they are. I'm not just talking about Tokyo, whose appartment, are they in an appartment? Are they in the back room of a club? Depending on where they are changes the entire mood of the piece. At first I thought they were outside, then I thought they were at her place because he tried to leave, and then I thought they were at his place because he took her home. I'm just confused. I would like to know for how long Inu Yasha and Kagome have been seeing each other. It could have been easily slipped into her thoughts, like "what am I doing? This is only our first date!" kind of thing. My other questions are natural, and I expect you guys will answer them as the story evolves. You work very well together creating mood through sentance structure, grammar and vocabulary. THe long flowy sentances gave the romance scene a true romance novel feel. Great job. Nena P.S. Be careful when you ask for constructive criticsm. You'll get my longest review to date! Hope it helps.
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