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| "Lonely Souls" Reviews/Comments [ 61 ] | | Pages (5): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 › » ] | Reviewed By: Fundude Frost Phoniex On: September 27, 2003 21:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
um Adyen if you reread those parts you would see that yes Neko-Ranma did destroy the dogi she also "killed" everyone but genma, she created one of those time bubbles things that she used to make 501 "Mr.Rabbit"'s in sactury for the Lost Stars girls so the only things at the end of the night that were damged was the Tendo sign and Genma and those happened before and after the bubble,and as for your bit about waiting about thier problems well Negako did give reasons for that.(basicly let Ranma,Ataru and others rest and recoopeate from eariler ordeals and grow even closer as a family) so please next time you review read over what you are going to talk about huh?
| Reviewed By: Adyen [MediaMiner Member] On: September 26, 2003 21:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've already left reviews on FF.net, so you don't have to read this if you don't want to, though there might be a few different comments in this. Don't get me wrong, I really love this series, and it's a really good piece of writing (first and only UY story I've read), but there are a few things that more than just 'bug' me about this. First of all, I'd like to say I don't mind overly powerful characters. That said, I'd like to add that I don't mind them if they're still 'mortal', and liable to make mistakes. Your main characters has *never* made a single mistake that isn't so insignificant that it could be fixed with minimal effort. Nope, never directly because of their actions, though you did use their INaction to create mistakes once or twice (namely the three billion dead thing). Ranma and Ataru asks for all the apologies, but they rarely give them. Hypocritical? No, because they never do anything 'wrong'. (Sarcasm here, if you didn't notice) Secondly, your characterization is great. I won't argue that, but you only go in depth with characters you 'like' (that's not to say I know which characters you like, but based on how certain characters get treated...). Take Akane for example. In chapter 10 (4D), the Densetsu no Doogi gets destroyed by Ranma. In the situation created by you, Akane would probably feel that Ranma has killed a friend of hers, as the Doogi was probably the only one that actually could make a difference for her. The next chapter, Akane doesn't even mourn the destruction of the Doogi. You give the most shallow of reasons for the things other characters do as if you can just brush them off by diverting attention to more 'important' characters. (Which you succeeded, btw.) Finally, and this is actually just a minor thing, I'd like to ask *why* don't they just deal with all the problems immediately instead of letting it fester? Since information about stuff never seem to stay a secret for long (and that's another thing that bugs me), shouldn't they get rid of problems that could grow immediately?
rid! | Reviewed By: Shinigami24 On: August 30, 2003 18:20 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
So Nodoka and Hisayo know about Happy being their dad... Finally! Well hopefully Nodoka will have a better relationship with him...And pls have someone tell Ranma, Toshiko and Kumiko about Happy being their Grandpa! Anyway, liking this ficcy! Pls don't let Anonymous reader turn you off finishing this ficcy! Cuz I think the other reviewers would be extremely disappionted. I know I would sic my assassin muses go on Anonymous! Cuz he/she seems like a baka! And we could do without his idiotic ideas.... Gomen nasai, but Dachi influenced me! | Reviewed By: Fundude Frost Phoniex On: August 23, 2003 05:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
hey Sterling_Ag I'm sorry if i was a bit hash on you it's just that when people seem to basicly just try to get someting banned or such, because a few people don't like it, or cause some idiot or asshole didn't use it right and hurt someone,(I can still remember when people were trying to get super soakers banned when some asses put gas and bleach into them)I understand that everyone had their own opion but when they try to ruin something that is harmless if used right or with a little commen sense.
P.S. fred for me anyway parts 1-4c are not word warped? and i have my disply on 800 x 600 so if you could fix it please do so thanks, and keep up the good work too.=} | Reviewed By: Sterling_Ag On: July 24, 2003 07:05 CDT
Comment/Review:
I get the points your making fundude. I didn't say that what Fred did was really wrong. Just that it didn't sit completely right with me.
Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has a couple and they tend to stink on occaission :) So, with that in mind I'm not saying what I said was neccesarily right, just an impression I got while reading the story. I haven't finished it yet so I'll be back later with my latest impression when I get a chance.
This story does have it's good points or I wouldn't plan on continue reading it. I was just offering some non-flammable CnC. To be used, abused or ignored as the author sees fit :)
Have a good day 'yall | Reviewed By: Fundude Frost Phoniex On: July 18, 2003 04:30 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey man i whole heartly agree with you about people that flame,bitch and moan about things the they hate and try to ruin it for people who do(*cough*fanficion.netNC17 ban*cough*)as I have always said "if don't like it don't read/watch/play it" oh and as for Sterling_Ag think about what Negako is, she is probly atleast 600+ years old and is the very essese of an *assisin* art in others words she basicly has centerys of experince on how to kill and such,
and as for the char getting killed and whatnot hey genma deserves it just for the neko-ken IMO he gets off lightly in this fic,soun well he needed IMO to see shrink any way because jeez leaving his 3 PRE-TEEN daughters to raise and pay for themselves for what around *10 Years*!!,as for akane well she still alive in a way just this one is for once going to try her best to better herself(I am not a akane fan as you can tell only way she should *EVER* get paired with ranma is if she EARN they right to, eg.get rid of temper learn to trust ect..)
oh ya fred this fic IMO is tied as one of the best fics out there along side the frigile clay story which has been dead since xoom sites went down eg.3+years={
anyway hope to see more of this fic
Fundude Frost Phoniex
defender of ranma-chan/male match up | Reviewed By: Fred Herriot On: July 06, 2003 09:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
To Everyone On MM.org
I'm sorry, but I'm having "Annoyed Reader's" review of "Lonely Souls" (written on 2 July 2003) taken off.
Much that I do happen to appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE criticism of my works (and I do take those into mind as much as the story plot permits), written screaming sessions do nothing more than piss me off.
If people find things I (much less other authors) write so personally offensive that they'd want to engage in something like that, then they should take a simple piece of advice: DON'T READ THE STORY!
For heaven's sake, people, this is FANFICTION.
(breathes out slowly)
Okay, then...
Hopefully, I will get back to "LS" sometime soon; Part 9 B Side was about halfway written when I decided to take a break from the computer keyboard.
To everyone else, thank you again for your comments.
Cheers!
Fred | Reviewed By: Sterling_Ag On: July 04, 2003 02:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hello,
While I Hate reviews such as the one that "Annoyed Reader" left. It really was totally out of line. I do have to agree with him and "Putting out the flames" to some extent. Your original character Negako is to powerful. She really does seem to be to much of a powerhouse and detracts from those who are supposed to be the main characters. There are also a lot of "short cut" plot contrivances used to rationalize certain parts of your story. I have to at least compliment you on trying to explain weird behaviour from your characters (as opposed to what we expect from Ranma/Ataru etc.)Some fic authors don't even go that far. One other thing I noticed is that you seem to "Off" characters you don't like. From the way you have written Genma, Soun and Akane it seems, at least to me, that you personally don't like the characters. So instead of dealing with them and trying to develope their characters like you did with Nabiki and Kasumi you either kill the character or send them away to an asylum. The way you handled these characters is as valid as any other really, it just seems a bit, i dunno, petty maybe, the way they were so cavalierly treated. Well enough of my gripes, all of course are just IMHO. It's your story, not mine. Knock yourself out writing it however you wish.
There have been some good points as well. I know nothing of the Sister Princess cast. However, you have done a great job characterizing all of the young ladies. The job you have done with that is real "checky" by me. Also your grammar, spelling and punctuation are pretty dang good. Escpecially considering the length of this fic. You also have done some pretty nice dialogue and do a real decent job at conveying the sense of a scene, both physically and emotionally.
In the end I think the final factor in determining any fics success is real simple. Did I enjoy reading it? Well the answer is yes, even with the problems I had with it. I really have liked reading this fic. So please take this review in the generally complimentary manner in which it was intended. Any and all gripes I have are just IMHO's and shouldn't be construed as "flammage" :)
Thanks for sharing have a great day! | Reviewed By: Afriend On: July 03, 2003 02:52 CDT
Comment/Review:
While i don't like the above 'reviewer's post, i do have to agree that you load up far to much on the unstoppable characters. Theres no struggle or tension when Ataru and Negako just juggernaut through everyone and everything.
Ranma is, unknowingly, the cause of Nerima's problems. While Akane had to deal with the likes of Kuno and the idiot brigade at school, i doubt there were martial artists busting down their doors before Ranma came. Trouble follows Ranma, and as long as he stayed at the Tendo's, there would always be chaos there. | Reviewed By: Dark-One On: March 14, 2003 23:01 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Kick-ass fic, write more NOW! | Reviewed By: iWindoze On: February 25, 2003 16:06 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Lemme see here...
Ataru has spent over ten years with his sister
(Negako) in Sancturary, presumably some of that
time with the head of the Protecturate (SP!) a
man to whom the multiverse is no stranger--and
he doesn't know?? Gah! I'd always assumed that
somewhere along the lines he'd managed to cross
over into one of your other series and or he knew
already and that this darkline was his attempt
to fix the damage done to his world, that they
had already attempted to do this and this was a
'second chance' type deal with Negako doing her
best to avoid repeating the same mistakes...eh,
well there goes that idea for a side story I was
toying around with... | Reviewed By: Shinigami On: February 15, 2003 14:22 CST
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
*whistles* Ten Thousand? Hm, looks like Ataru got his wish for a harem! *smirks* I know I'm evil! My muses influenced me! Anyway so Kaeru was alive all along? At least they found each other... | Reviewed By: Shinigami On: January 03, 2003 20:46 CST
Comment/Review:
Kamis! It's been over a month since this was last updated! If u have a decent explaination, u better get ur ass in gear and update this. Or leave a note about why u've been not able to update this ficcy! | Reviewed By: Shinigami On: November 28, 2002 01:49 CST
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hm, liking this part! Soun deserves what Akane decided! After all he should have put a stop to Kuno's actions or at least tried! And he should have corrected Akane's assumptions about boys being perverts! And he should have been a parent to Nabkiki, Kasumi and Akane! I know there's a lot of 'should haves.' But Soun-baka failed at lots of things! All the pain that Akane and Ranma suffered could have been prevented, if Soun had stood up to Happosai or Genma. And he really should have listened to Kasumi! Remember what Kasumi told SOun at the beginning, about fixing the mess Genma-panda caused with all the extra fiancees! *grins* Good, Mousse showed up! And nearly all the ex-fiancees are paired up. WHat about Shampoo? And Soun being a ronin at least should satisfy Ranma's cat self...Look at this, Genma's dead. Ranma pretty much denouced Nodoka, Soun might become ronin and he's in the insanity asylum. Pauline Kuno left for Hawaii for a long while. Tatewaki Kuno will have his hands full in Space so he won't be coming back for a while...Kodachi, Ukyo, Akane and Shampoo gave up on Ranma. Nabiki apologized, and is changing her ways. Mousse will leave Ranma alone when the Amazon mess is solved. Ryoga apologized, and he and Ranma are working on renewing their friendship. And Ranma's going to switch schools and move to Promised Island. So Ranma's other self doesn't have any reason to be mad anymore. I got to get off. So this's the end for now. Update ASAP!!! | Reviewed By: Shinigami On: November 20, 2002 11:51 CST
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
*whistles* Interesting... So what's going to happen to Kuno? really! He should have known better than to insult Ataru in front of the Zephyrites...Since they seem to adore their hero/saviours...As for Elle/Amora she seems to be suffering from personality confusion. Prehaps she might turn out for the best... Pls bring Mousse in the next chappie! Cuz I wanna know how he's been doing since all of this started... | | Pages (5): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 › » ] |
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