Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Light in the Darkness ❯ Secrets of the Past ( Chapter 73 )

A Light in the Darkness - Part 73: Secrets of the Past
by Mia Skywalker & Wataruo

 

PAIRING: Yamcha/Hakusai
RATING: G
WARNINGS: none
C&C: Please! ^_^
DISCLAIMER: Neither of us owns any of the DBZ characters or anything about DBZ, but we both wish we owned the Saiyans. All of them. At least all of the ones with hair. And yes, we're including Yamcha and Ryouga in that, now you know. Dragonball Z and the associated characters are owned by Toei, Viz, Akira Toriyama, and FUNimation. Ranma 1/2 and the character of Ryouga Hibiki are owned by Viz, Rumiko Takahashi, and some Japanese studio I don't know the name of. We do own what we've written here, and our specific storyline, just not Dragonball or Ranma 1/2 themselves. We make no money off of any of these guys, nor off this fic. We just have fun writing it. Oh, I guess we do own Hakusai and Serori. But I doubt anyone cares. ^_~
SUMMARY: We finally learn what Hakusai has been keeping secret. Can the two lovers make it past the problems that arise?
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Thank you to Lady Lark, Selenity Jade and W-chan, for the beta.

 

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Hakusai rolled over, looked at the clock, and groaned. How could she have slept that long? The female Saiyan couldn't remember if extreme fatigue was part of being pregnant. It had never occurred to her to ask, as Saiyan females had always had the fetus removed and placed in an incubator to gestate until it was ready to be `born'.

 

Hakusai gave a slight smile. She had better not mention that to Yamcha. He would really love that. She swung her legs out of bed and got dressed, unconsciously checking to see where her mate had gone. She was relieved to find him with his brother in the kitchen. Typical males. Her mouth twitched with repressed laughter. Always eating.

 

She made her way there, fighting off the urge to go back to bed, and walked into the room just as the two were finishing their meal. “Getting acquainted?” she asked.

 

“Well, sort of.” Yamcha smiled at her, pleased that she was awake. “He got lost last night, and we ended up going all the way to South Island to find him.” At her puzzled expression, Yamcha explained. “That's practically on the other side of the world from here.”

 

“How in the hell did you do that? You fly that fast already?” Hakusai asked sitting down next to them.

 

Ryouga shook his head, looking somewhat embarrassed. “Uh... no. I just walked. I don't usually fly.”

 

Yamcha shook his head. “No, something happened. We're going to ask Bulma to find out what happened.” Yamcha looked brightly at her, changing the subject. “Hey! What was with you this morning? I tried to wake you but it was like you were in a coma or something!”

 

Hakusai blinked, barely managing to cover her surprise. “Nani?” That was odd. Normally she was a light sleeper; even the slightest noise would rouse her. “I guess I was tired.” She frowned, not realizing her expression was easy to read, especially to Yamcha who was watching her closely. “Did you two leave me anything for breakfast?”

 

“Well....” Yamcha scratched the back of his head, then reprogrammed the food dispensers to make more for Hakusai. “Here!” he announced as tray after tray of food began to appear before them, almost as fast as he could pull them out. “There's plenty more where that came from!”

 

“These things would have been a hit back on Vegeta-sei,” Hakusai said, smiling at them. “Bulma could have made a small fortune. Not that she needs it, mind you.”

 

Yamcha blinked at her in confusion, taking her literally. “She's already made a large fortune. But the dispensers aren't limitless. You need to put something in them first, I think, although I don't know if it matters what you put in them. I don't really know how they work. I don't think she sells them anywhere. I don't know why. She said that they're dangerous in the wrong hands or something. Something about being able to be turned into weapons if the person knows what they're doing.”

 

“Weapons?” Hakusai paused, frowning into her plate. She closed he eyes as a vague memory of laughing brown eyes informed her that he could turn anything into a weapon. But then, he had been a weapons specialist. She looked up to see Yamcha studying her intently. “Sorry. I was being nostalgic.”

 

He stared at her a moment longer, then decided to change the subject. Something told him he didn't want to know anything more. “All right, when you're done eating, let's go see Bulma. Oh! She said she had something to show you, anyway. She wanted to see you some time today.”

 

The three of them finished eating and headed out to the lab. Fortunately by the time they got there, both Vegeta and Bulma were fully clothed again. Hakusai could smell the scent of intense sex in the air, and smiled secretively, but sensed that neither of the two males with her recognized the odor for what it was.

 

“Hey, Bulma!” Yamcha greeted her with a wave. “You said you needed to see Hakusai today? She finally woke up!”

 

Bulma blinked in surprise. She had almost forgotten about what she had needed Hakusai to see. “Oh, that's right! Hakusai, would you mind sitting down for a few minutes? I have something I have to show you.” She shot Vegeta a look, telling him without words that she wanted him to stick around... just in case.

 

Hakusai settled herself in one of the office chairs Bulma kept scattered throughout the lab. “Now I am curious. What are you going to show me?”

 

Bulma watched her, her face enigmatically expressionless. “Just this.” She turned to the Saiyan computer system, and tapped several keys. To the surprise of the Saiyans - especially Hakusai and Ryouga, who hadn't seen this before - a hologram appeared in front of them. As before, when Yamcha had first seen it, they saw Yamcha's mother holding up an infant, and she began to speak.

 

“Kami,” Hakusai breathed out in an angry whisper. She stood up abruptly. “I don't need to see any more of this.” Her bearing and tone spoke volumes, her agitation readily apparent.

 

Vegeta frowned. “You know her?” he asked, wondering if they should pause the hologram that was still speaking in the background.

 

“I wish I didn't,” Hakusai announced stiffly before striding for the door.

 

“Wait!” Yamcha demanded, causing Hakusai to pause. The hologram's voice continued, as the figure proceeded to hold up the holographic infant in her arms. “How do you know my mother?”

 

Bulma sighed. She had suspected Hakusai might have known Yamcha's mother, but she hadn't realized how the other woman felt about her. This might be more difficult than she had expected.

 

Hakusai paused in the doorway, hugging herself with her arms. She had unconsciously expected this from the moment the hologram had begun. “How do you know she is your mother?” she asked, ignoring Yamcha's question. “Where did you find this?”

 

Yamcha blinked. “Because she said she is,” he replied in confusion. “Bulma said so.”

 

Bulma simply watched Hakusai intently, saying nothing. “Maybe you should watch the entire thing. Without making any more judgments. I think you might find it... interesting.”

 

Ryouga was staring at the hologram. At each of the others' words his eyes had widened in surprise, but now he was staring at the woman in front of him intently. His hand moved towards her, and the hologram flickered as it passed through her. “Is she... she's my mother too, isn't she?” he asked softly, in a choked voice.

 

Bulma nodded, her face softening as she looked over at him. She had wanted him to see this too, knowing the Saiyan woman would be as important to him as she was to Yamcha, but she hadn't expected Hakusai's reaction. If she had, she would have had them watch it separately. “She is,” she said gently. “And the baby she holds right now, that's your brother. That's Yamcha.”

 

“I don't need to hear anything that woman says,” Hakusai snapped before stepping out the door. “I'm sorry, Yamcha.”

 

“Go after her.” Vegeta turned abruptly to Yamcha. “I do not think I like her state of mind right now.”

 

Yamcha was glaring at the door that Hakusai had closed behind her, looking angrier than they had seen him in a long time. “No, I don't think I will,” he said flatly. At Bulma's startled expression, he relented and explained. “This is my mother, and if she refuses to accept it, then she's refusing to accept me. I'm not going to fight her about it. Either she accepts me completely or she can't accept me at all.” The others could see how much his own words were hurting him, but they had the sense that in this instance he was not going to back down.

 

Vegeta shrugged. “You do not know what happened between them. But it is your funeral,” he told Yamcha, leaning back against the table.

 

The anger on Yamcha's face flickered slightly, and he looked at them uncertainly. “You think?”

 

Bulma arched an eyebrow. “Maybe you should find out, Yamcha. Something's obviously distressing her. Don't you feel you owe it to her to ask what it is?”

 

Yamcha glanced back at the door, then looked toward the ground. “But she's my mother!” he muttered to himself.

 

“And Hakusai's your....” Bulma shrugged. “Well, whatever you are to each other, if Hakusai is important to you, you need to talk to her. Communication is probably the most important thing to keep a relationship going.”

 

Yamcha glanced up at her guiltily. He hadn't been one for `communication' much when they were younger. He had always been too wrapped up in himself to pay enough attention to anyone else, and he knew that had been part of what had cost them their relationship. That and the fact that they each had been destined to be with someone else. And his someone else had left a few minutes ago, obviously angry, and he suspected in great pain.

 

“All right, I'll go,” he said somewhat reluctantly as he headed towards the door.

 

::At least one of us knows what to say.:: Vegeta's admission startled Bulma, and she turned her head to look at him. ::She is my sister. If they start avoiding each other, you know what will happen to them. I would rather not lose my family.::

 

Bulma blinked at him in surprise. Did Vegeta just admit that he actually cared about someone? Other than himself? ::Yes, I know what will happen. I wonder what happened to Hakusai when she met Yamcha's mother?::

 

Bulma turned towards Ryouga, who looked like he was trying to merge into the furniture. “Why don't we watch the rest of the recording?” she asked him gently. “We've seen it, but I think you should too.”

 

At his nod she pressed a button, restarting the recording from the beginning.

 

~~~*~~~

 

Outside, Hakusai leaned back against the wall, taking deep, gasping breaths. It surprised her how angry she was. She had been but a girl when she had met Kabu, but the older woman's taunts, even though years ago, were as fresh as if she had spoken them days before. She wondered if she was being childish. That had been a long time ago. Who was to say if she was even still alive?

 

Yamcha saw Hakusai standing not too far away from the lab. She was leaning against the wall, her face buried in her arms, her shoulders slumped. Was she crying? He was surprised at the idea.

 

“Hakusai?” he said softly, trying not to startle her.

 

Hakusai gulped in a breath, angry with herself for giving in to her emotions. “What?” she whispered, cursing herself for not being able to get under control.

 

“Hakusai.... Hakusai, are you all right? Are you going to tell me what happened?” He was trying to ask her as gently as he could, but he was never very good at being subtle. “I mean, you got all strange in there. How do you know my mother? What did she do to you?”

 

“Nothing that should matter.” But it did, it still hurt. After all this time, it hurt terribly. “I am sorry, I guess I overreacted.” She lifted her head. “I met Kabu several years ago. She was...” She trailed off, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “We didn't get along very well.”

 

Yamcha looked at her in confusion. He saw the traces of tears on her cheeks, and knew that despite her claims something had happened. Without even thinking about it, he scooped Hakusai up and sat down, cradling her in his lap the way one would a small child.

 

“Hakusai, you need to be honest with me,” he murmured against her hair. “If you're not honest, what do we have? You need to tell me what happened. Please?”

 

Hakusai let herself be held, needing the comfort Yamcha was offering but that she didn't know how to ask for. She leaned her head on his chest, closing her eyes, and took a deep breath to steady herself.

 

“You would think that after all these years I would be over this,” she mumbled to herself, tears still drifting down her cheeks. “But I am not. It still hurts, even now. I don't know where to start.” She paused a minute, trying to gather in her thoughts, wondering what she should tell him and what information she should keep to herself. “You might not like what I tell you.”

 

Yamcha blinked. He was tempted to tell her that she didn't have to say anything in that case. He didn't like hearing things that were unpleasant, and he had the feeling that whatever she was about to tell him he would find it distinctly unpleasant. But somehow... he sensed that would be the wrong thing to do. He could feel something happening, something he didn't like. He could sense a rift forming between them, and instinctively knew that if she kept it to herself, the rift would only widen. Obviously something had happened when she met his mother, and he knew that if they didn't resolve this soon it would only get worse.

 

“Tell me,” he whispered softly, going against all of his instincts. “What happened, love? What happened between the two of you that hurt you so badly?”

 

He hoped it wasn't too horrible. He felt a tug towards his mother, and knew that despite everything that had happened, he still adored her as much as he had when he had been a very young child. Even after she had abandoned him, she had said she loved him. He knew it had hurt her to abandon him. He didn't really understand it, but he couldn't help it; he loved her anyways.

 

He stroked Hakusai's back gently, trying to reassure her. He hoped it wasn't something unforgivable.

 

Hakusai sighed, battling with herself. It was his right, she realized. If she didn't tell him..... She shivered, leaving the thought unfinished, not wanting to contemplate what would happen if he chose his mother over her.

 

“I guess I'll start at the beginning....” Hakusai closed her eyes, not really wanting to see his expression as she spoke.

 

“I think I told you my father was not pleased that his first-born was a female. A female ruler was unthinkable, no matter how high my ki level was. But it was my ki that eventually saved me. He didn't want to kill me off, I was potentially too good of a fighter for that, so he sent me along with a bodyguard named Shinjo to Kassan.”

 

Hakusai opened her eyes and smiled. “I still remember how mad I was. Here I was, Saiyan royalty, and I was being sent away to a planet I had never heard of, to be babysat by someone who was not Saiyan. Needless to say, even though I was very young - about four or five - I was a real pain in the ass.”

 

She gave a short laugh. “I can remember the first time I saw him, waiting by the transport ship. For the first time in my life I was speechless. It wasn't that he was physically intimidating; he wasn't. Shinjo was Kassan-jin, and like many of his race had bright red hair.” Hakusai looked up. “I was fascinated, and I stared, wondering out loud if he changed the color. After all, no one in their right mind would want hair that color. It would stand out in a battle, and so on. Do you know what he said to me?” she asked Yamcha, sounding amused. When Yamcha shook his head, she grinned. “He walked around me in a complete circle and informed me that at least his hair didn't look like he had been playing in an electric field.”

 

Hakusai chuckled at the memory. “I was so mad I blasted him, and of course he retaliated. That particular fight lasted for three hours. There wasn't much left of the hangar by the time we were too tired to keep it up. I think I fell in love on the spot.”

 

Yamcha looked startled. In love? He hadn't known that Hakusai had ever been in love before. Suddenly he remembered she had told him once that she had been bonded before, and that was why she had understood what Vegeta and Bulma were going through. But if she had been bonded before... how could she have bonded to him as well?

 

“I don't think I understand, love. What happened to him?”

 

“Shinjo? He stayed to beat me up daily, as well as turn me into a halfway decent person, even though I didn't want to be. He taught me all sorts of things; how to pilot a freighter, how to control my ki, and most importantly, Shinjo taught me that there were more important things in the universe than being the strongest. Caring for someone and having that person care for you was something so priceless you couldn't buy it.” Hakusai sighed. “When I was fifteen he asked me to marry him. I think he was prepared to do anything to convince me that he was good enough for me. Even to the point that we could settle it the Saiyan way, we would fight and if he won he would be my husband. I just asked him if he loved me.” Hakusai took a deep breath before continuing. “All he managed to get out of his mouth was `yes' before I pounced on him. He didn't get much sleep that night.”

 

Yamcha listened to Hakusai's story curiously, but at the same time was confused. She had said she was going to tell him why she hated his mother, what his mother had done to her, but so far all she had done was tell him about her first husband. He swallowed painfully at the thought that she had been married before, and wondered if she still loved her first husband. Obviously she did, since she had mentioned how painful it was for her to think about, but.... His thoughts were interrupted as she continued to speak.

 

“We were married about a month later. I was happier than I'd ever been in my life. I had everything I wanted, and a man who loved me. Even though Shinjo never bonded to me, I knew that he did love me. He took every opportunity to show me how much. It was the way he was. A year after our marriage we received news that Frieza had destroyed Vegeta-sei and that no one had survived.”

 

Hakusai threaded her fingers through Yamcha's and sighed. “The funny thing was, I wasn't all that upset. Oh, I was mad that Frieza had used us, and the fact that he had killed my father and my little brother was unforgivable. But I knew that I was nowhere near his power level, and going after him would have been suicidal. So I stayed on Kassan, working for a freighter company. I was just happy to be with my mother, who had managed to escape because she was with us when it exploded. I should have known that kind of happiness doesn't last. When I was twenty-two I met your mother.” Hakusai sighed. “I have no idea how she even knew I was there. It wasn't like I advertised my existence. I told no one that I was the daughter of the King. Most people assumed I had lost the will to fight. Maybe, just maybe, I had. You see, Kabu was much older than I was, several decades or so. Lots of battle experience I didn't have. She had this... harshness to her that I didn't understand.”

 

Yamcha was still confused. She had finally gotten around to mentioning his mother, but he still didn't understand what this had to do with her first husband. Or what he had to do with Yamcha's mother... Kabu, was that her name?

 

“Hakusai? What does this have to do with my mother?” he asked quietly. “Or I mean, what does all that about your first husband,” he swallowed heavily, “have to do with my mother? I don't understand....”

 

Hakusai looked down at her lap, her free hand plucking at the cloth of her top. “Your mother was gathering troops to go and defeat Frieza. She wanted revenge, you see. She had once been one of my father's lovers. I don't think she even liked my father, but losing one's planet makes you do strange things. I refused, telling her she was an idiot.” Hakusai gave a bitter laugh. “If I had gone, maybe Shinjo wouldn't be dead now. Then again....”

 

She trailed off, getting her emotions under control. “Kabu came by several times, trying to convince me that it was my duty. That being planet-bound had made me soft. Each time I told her politely that I didn't want anything to do with a suicide mission. The last time she came, I don't think she was willing to take no for an answer.”

 

“Your mother and I fought verbally. Eventually it got so loud and heated that people came to see what the problem was. You see, at the time I had a reputation for being the mellowest Saiyan in the universe. I had never fought in a real battle; I had never killed. Shinjo, being the kind of man he was, came in to see what all the shouting was about. Unfortunately, he had really bad timing.”

 

Hakusai took a deep breath, trying desperately to maintain control. “He came in just in time to see one of Kabu's troops fire a ki blast at me for some insulting remark I had made about her leadership qualities, and without thinking he jumped in front of me.” Hakusai trembled in Yamcha's embrace and snuggled closer to him, seeking comfort.

 

“The idiot! If he had thought it through, he would have known the blast would not have been fatal to me. It would have hurt a lot, but it would not have been seriously damaging. His body took the blast entirely. He... he... died right in my arms. I can still remember how he smiled up at me and told me that he never regretted marrying me.” Hakusai's voice finally gave out as her body was racked with sobs.

 

Yamcha didn't know what to say. He stared out in the distance in shocked silence, simply holding Hakusai in his arms, rocking her gently. He knew what it was like to lose friends and loved ones that way, having them get killed like that, but always in the past there had been the dragonballs for them to bring their friends back. Only a few times had that been impossible. But to lose someone and know there was no way to bring the person back....

 

Yamcha continued to rock her, making soft sounds of reassurance as he felt her weeping in his arms. “Sshhh.... It's all right. It'll be all right, love. Everything will be all right.”

 

“I was devastated,” she managed to get out. Her heart ached at the memory. “And I let my emotions rule my actions. I was so angry. No....” She shook her head. “No, what I felt was too strong to be anger. It was so intense that I let it control my actions, and for the first time in many years I truly acted like a Saiyan.”

 

Hakusai blinked back tears and took a breath to steady myself. “I stood up calmly and faced my husband's killer. The bastard had taken the one thing from me that could never be replaced, and I realized I would never rest until I had killed him. I wanted blood. I wanted it so badly I could taste it.”

 

“My memory gets a little... hazy after that. I remember the way my power level spiked, the shocked looks on all their faces as I stood there, glaring at them as if they were not of my race but some kind of dangerous insects that needed to be squashed. And squash them I did.” She looked up and gave Yamcha a weak smile. “You see I had done something that no one in a thousand years had done. I had gone Super Saiyan.”

 

The warrior fell silent for a minute, gathering her thoughts. “I killed him. I was fairly brutal about it. I toyed with him before I took his life. I wanted to make sure he knew hell before I sent him there. And no one interfered. Afterwards...” her voice caught, as fresh tears began to flow. “Afterwards, when I had calmed down, when I realized what I had done, what had happened to my Shinjo, I went to my husband's body and cried. Cried for my loss, cried for the fact that I had killed my first person, wept for the fact that things would never be the same for me again.” She laughed bitterly. “Me, a Saiyan, crying. That was bad enough, but to actually show emotion for someone else was something no other Saiyan would ever do or ever understand.”

 

She shuddered, no longing caring how hard she was crying. “I suppose she considered that unforgivable. Her expression was something I will never forget. Even though she said nothing as she turned and left with the rest of her people, I could tell what she thought of me. She didn't need to say anything. She thought I was a weak, emotional coward, not worthy of the strength I had gained.”

 

Hakusai turned in Yamcha's embrace, holding onto him with a grip that would have broken almost anyone's ribs, and rested her head against his chest. “Maybe she was right. Maybe I was a coward. After all, what good had that hidden power done me when I could not save the person who meant more to me than my own life? I did not want to live. I went into bonding withdrawal, and was content to starve myself to death.”

 

“Bonding withdrawal?” Yamcha was confused. “But I thought... I thought you said he hadn't bonded to you?” He was confused about a lot of things that she had told him, but decided to start off with the question that was really bothering him the most. If she loved her first husband that much... then was there anything left for him? He was afraid to ask her, so tried to approach it indirectly.

 

“Shinjo did not bond to me,” she whispered. “But I did. I bonded to him. It was enough to trigger those symptoms we are familiar with. Had Shinjo bonded to me the way that you and I have...” She shivered and tightened her embrace. “I would not have snapped out of it. I would have been successful in killing myself.”

 

Yamcha swallowed heavily. “Do you still love him?” he asked so quietly that she almost didn't hear, finally getting up the courage to ask the one question that mattered most to him.

 

Hakusai opened her eyes and looked up at him. She heard the concern in his voice when he spoke and knew what was bothering him. “I love you,” she said, snuggling her face against his chest. “You do not have to worry about that. Shinjo was extremely important to me. I think part of me will always love him. I don't want a replacement for him.” She lifted her head and looked up at her, touching his face with her fingertips. “I'll probably never feel that way for anyone else, but I can feel more. I do feel more. I want you. Believe me, please.”

 

Yamcha bowed his head, closing his eyes almost in shame. He knew she loved him. Even if she didn't love him as much as her first husband, still... he shouldn't be jealous. He still cared for Bulma, after all, and Hakusai never questioned that. And he knew that no matter what, he could never leave Hakusai. He would take whatever she could give him.

 

 

To be continued.....

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

And in the next exciting episode of DragonBall Z: A Light in the Darkness... Vegeta vs. Chi-Chi - the fight of the century! ^_^