Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Different Circumstances ❯ The Truth ( Chapter 6 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine. The only payment I receive is reviews.

 

 

The Truth

 

Hearing his voice galvanized me. I moved toward the door without thinking about it. I didn't want to see him, it would be too painful. “I don't want to talk to you,” I said huskily, my throat still sore from crying.

 

“Woman, open the fucking door, or I will break it,” he demanded. “I want to talk to you. I will talk to you.”

 

I knew he meant it so I opened the door, slowly. Zaraki looked strange. His hair was still around his shoulders. He wasn't wearing his eye patch or his captain's coat. He pushed the door opened quickly and entered the room, shutting and then locking the door and then he pocketed the key. Turning, he looked at me closely. I noticed his eyes were bloodshot and he was scowling. I hoped I'd removed all evidence of my tears, but knew I did not look my best. Zaraki looked tired.

 

“You look like crap. Your captain came looking for you earlier. He was surprised you weren't with me,” he stated. His gaze was on my face. Not the usual glance that roamed my body as in anticipation of sex. That saddened me and seemed to indicate that my fears were not baseless.

 

“Your compliments overwhelm me. You look awful, too. I saw my captain,” I said moving over to sit on a chair. I didn't feel that I had enough strength to stand. Seeing him had a strange effect on my knees, they didn't seem sturdy enough to hold me upright.

 

“Yeah. I thought he'd come here.” He fell silent and took off his sandals in a deliberate manner.

 

“Why are you taking off your sandals? You're not staying are you?” I asked. I wished he had just left me alone. Seeing him again made the pain return, stronger than before. I was receiving mixed messages and becoming increasingly confused. Why was he here?

 

Zaraki did not answer, nor did he look at me.

 

“Why did you come here, Zaraki?” I demanded. His silence was beginning to annoy me.

 

“I told you last night and when I was outside. I want to talk to you.” His answer appeared casual, but it was apparent that he would stay until he decided he wanted to leave. My feelings in the matter were not to be considered because it was to be what he wanted. He was too accustomed to being in charge.

 

“I didn't want to talk last night; I don't want to talk now. Leave immediately,” I said as bravely as I could. It was a futile effort. I didn't feel brave; I felt very sad.

 

“I have a few things I want to tell you,” he said moving to sit opposite me, still not paying any attention to me.

 

“I don't want to listen,” I said staring at him hard, frowning. We had nothing more to say to each other. The insults I'd hurled at him last night should have made certain that we needed no further conversation.

 

“You're going to listen. I'm not leaving here until you listen to me.” The expression on Zaraki's face was set and stern. It made me nervous.

 

I didn't want to hear what he would say and couldn't leave my house as he had the key, but I had one place I could hide. I stood. “I'm going to wash. Let yourself out when you're bored,” I said and taking a clean uniform I went to the bathroom locking the door.

 

I washed and tidied up, taking my time then I washed my face with cold water. Looking in the mirror I noticed my eyes were swollen and they felt sore from the tears. I did look like crap, Zaraki was right. After cleaning my teeth and rinsing my mouth I felt a little better. I had not heard Zaraki leave over the noise of the running water, but why would he stay? There was nothing here for him. I hesitated at the door and listened closely. Hearing no noise coming from the other side, I unlocked the door and slowly opened it. Zaraki pushed the door open and grabbed me by the wrist.

 

“I said that I want to talk to you,” he said, dragging me out of the bathroom. “I decided to let you clean up because there's no escape from there. You had to come out eventually and I stayed quiet, waiting. We're going to talk.”

 

“Damn you, Zaraki, I thought you'd gone,” I complained, struggling, trying to break his grip, but he was too strong. He pulled me into the main room and pushed me into a chair. The man infuriated me. Did I have no rights in my private quarters? “You want to talk? Don't bother. I'll fill in the words for you. `Woman, it's been fun, but it was for sex only. That was the agreement. I told you not to expect romance.' You didn't have to come here to tell me that. I already guessed,” I said bitterly. The bitterness was all directed at myself. I couldn't look at him.

 

“I wasn't going to say that,” Zaraki said heavily, his hands on my shoulders, making it impossible for me to escape, as he used his foot to hook the chair behind him, moving it close to mine and sitting opposite me. Effectively he had blocked my exit as he was sitting so close.

 

I swallowed hard. I wanted to touch him; his proximity was making it difficult to restrain my actions. “Was it the, `We need to take a break” speech?' I asked. “I've already agreed it's over. I don't think a break is a good idea, unless it's permanent.” If I was rude enough he might leave or get angry. Did I want him to leave?

 

“Stop trying to guess what I want to say, Matsumoto. Try something different and frigging listen,” he paused and took a deep breath. He was starting to lose his temper.

 

“I was joking about loving you,” I said quickly before he could say anything further. If he brought that up I was unsure if I could deny my feelings this time. I hated lying and I was scared that he would know it was a lie, but he seemed preoccupied and didn't challenge me.

 

“Shut up! Stop talking and freaking listen,” he said raising his voice.

 

He leant close to me and I drew back from him, surprised at his tone. He looked at me and then looked away. I wanted to keep my eyes on his face but dropped them to my clenched hands. I wished this was over. I wished he would go.

 

“I couldn't stop thinking about you all day. I couldn't concentrate. You are right. When this began, it was only for the sex,” he said, rubbing his face tiredly.

 

I folded my arms across my body, trying to brace against the pain that was to come. Why couldn't he have left it as it was last night? Why did he have to come here? Seeing him made it so much more difficult. Being this close to him was torture.

 

“I haven't had many relationships with women that were anything but sex. Make that any. No woman has ever said they loved me,” Zaraki took another deep breath and leant back in the chair, shutting his eyes. I wasn't sure why; was he falling asleep?

 

“I didn't mean it when I said it,” I lied. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. At the same time I couldn't ignore his words and the stab of concern at how tired he seemed.

 

“Shut up. Do you have to interrupt every few minutes?” Zaraki's eyes were now open and glaring at me, his face close to mine. I shut my mouth and glared back at him wanting to yell at him to leave, but not wishing him to go.

 

“That first time, when I told you I was pretending to care, I found I wasn't pretending. I did care, at least about whether you enjoyed sex with me. You really seemed determined to be difficult, to fight me, but you finally admitted you wanted to fuck me. The way you responded, right from the beginning, when you were pretending to fight me. When I touched your nipple, it became erect immediately. When I touched you between your legs, you were so wet and ready. You enjoyed it that first time. It was hard to believe how much you reacted.”

 

I nodded slowly, feeling my face heat at how willing I had been, while pretending to fight back. Never before had a man made me experience so much sexual pleasure so easily. I glanced at him and noticed he was frowning at the memory.

 

“After you'd agreed to have sex with me exclusively, I decided to claim you, publicly, because I knew it would be harder for you to escape from me. I didn't ask anyone to fetch you a uniform when we were in the bathhouse, on purpose. I wanted you in my captain's coat, showing everyone you were mine while I carried you to my quarters in my arms as my prize; I'd won you. My division saw and they recognised the claim immediately and word spread, as I'd planned. I wanted to tell your captain about us because that was another claim on you. All of Seireitei know we've had sex. I claimed you again yesterday, as soon as we arrived here. Do you understand that? After the absence, I reclaimed you and I've claimed you in front of your friends. No one has questioned my right to you. They've questioned my choice, but not my right. Everyone else has accepted that claim. Why can't you? I have bound you to me with each claim.”

 

“What is he saying? Claimed me? Am I land or something? Another possession thing? That really annoys me,” I thought, but at the same time I felt something else. I felt joy that he wanted to claim me. What the hell was going on in my mind? I belonged to myself. No one had the right to claim me. I was no ones' prize.

 

I opened my mouth to argue with him but he shook his head, looking intently at me. “When your captain asked those questions about us, that first night, I began to feel uncomfortable. When he asked if we even liked each other, I wanted to tell him I liked you. I didn't understand why. I didn't know you. I still don't know you,” he said uncomfortably his eyes fixed on my mouth.

 

I gasped. He liked me that early on? He'd said it wasn't important. What was he saying? He held up his hand as if asking me not to interrupt and the questions I wanted to ask died on my lips. Then I realised he spoke in the past tense, about the first day. He had liked me then.

 

“Remember, I asked you if you liked me that night? You didn't give me a real answer. It didn't really matter. We had some great sex.” Zaraki paused again and I wondered what he would say next. “I've told you, I'm jealous of your previous lovers. I'm jealous of your friends. When you went to visit your friends last night, I thought you wanted to have sex with one, or more of them. I got angry.” His gaze was as intense as his voice. Why did every one suspect that I had sex with my friends? We were friends.

 

“I don't have sex with any of them. We're friends,” I said hotly. “I'd promised to be exclusive and I meant it. I wouldn't betray anyone like that because it would hurt them,” I faltered, scared of saying something I didn't wish to reveal.

 

“How do I know that? You've lied to me before,” Zaraki said with an air of frustration. “Your reputation…”

 

“I know about my reputation,” I interrupted. “I know about your reputation. If I believed everything I'd heard about you, do you think I would have come back that first day? You're supposed to be a violent thug. I saw past that. At first you acted so brutally, or so I thought, but it was so arousing. Later, there was gentleness. You act differently when we're alone, to when you're in public.” I stopped. I was saying too much. “I don't want to talk anymore. I think you should go. Leave.” I tried to push my chair further away from him, but there was no room.

 

“You are impatient, aren't you?” he observed with a strange look on his face. “Impatient with explanations. Impatient in bed.” He looked at me awaiting my reaction.

 

“You're impatient too. I don't want to talk about it,” I said, my anger rising. I didn't want to think about being in bed with him. It was easier to be angry with him as it was too painful to think about what I had lost. I wanted to touch him, be held by him, but the wish was pointless. It was over between us.

 

“Whenever I've tried to talk to you about feelings, you freeze. When I told you that I cared about you, you froze and pulled away. You only nodded when I asked if you cared about me. When I called you “beloved”, you froze again, as if rejecting the endearment. When I asked last night, if you liked me, you ran away. I finally got you to admit you liked me and then you tried to leave,” Zaraki paused again and moved closer. Our knees were touching.

 

The shock of him touching me made me become rigid. How could I escape? I wondered what he was going to say next. He was moving closer, touching me. I hoped…. I stifled the hope before it was born. My anger died and I was shrouded by immense sadness that I had to listen to his complete rejection of my love. That could be the only place he was progressing with this.

 

“Often when I held you, you would stiffen, as if revolted by my touch. It was when we had sex that you seemed to not be disgusted. That didn't worry me because as you know, I love fucking you,” Zaraki told me.

 

That word “love” reverberated around the room. I did not want to think of the last time that word had been uttered in my presence. I was sure the word was cursed. I shut my eyes, waiting for the final blow. He loved the sex, but he didn't want me.

 

“Last night, things were a little different from our first night. You stripped me, you took the initiative. You even sucked me. God, that was so good. You kissed me as if you enjoyed kissing me, with passion. Then you left and went to your friends. I couldn't understand what was going on. I wanted to bring you back and just stay inside you as long as possible, before you finally left. I wanted to stamp myself upon you. I knew you would leave, you kept trying to leave. That's why I locked the door. I wanted one more night with you.”

 

I swallowed hard. I opened my mouth to say something but he shook his head again.

 

“Let me finish woman. I have more to say. When I begged you to let me come, you said those words. I thought you were joking, or trying to make a fool of me. Then you took them back and insulted me. From saying you loved me, to asking how you could love someone like me. For some reason, that hurt. Were you trying to make a fool of me?”

 

I shook my head. What was he saying? I couldn't understand why Zaraki was talking to me like this. It didn't seem the sort of thing he would do. Perhaps he was trying to tell me something. If he was, I didn't understand.

 

“I didn't want to let you leave last night, but you were so single-minded about going. If you'd stayed you would have said more words you didn't mean. I didn't want to hear any more words that were meant to hurt and destroy. Damn you woman; why wouldn't you listen to me? I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't concentrate today. All I can think about is: which version is the truth.”

 

I shrugged. Why did he want to know this now? It was too late and I didn't want to talk about something that should be allowed to die.

 

“Look at me,” Zaraki commanded.

 

Unwillingly I raised my eyes to his. I didn't want to but my damned emotions forced me to look at the man I had loved and lost so recently.

 

“Tell me how you feel about me. Do you like me?” Zaraki looked into my eyes and I began to weaken.

 

“Not this again,” I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I didn't want to explore this again; it would only cause me pain and disappointment. “Why is it so vital for you to know?” I didn't want to answer.

 

“I want to hear the truth,” Zaraki's eyes held mine and I couldn't look away. I wanted him here, in my house, touching me, but not under these circumstances.

 

“I like you,” I said reluctantly. “Please leave it at that.” Yet again he had that hold on me. Was he such a pitiless bastard that he took pleasure in forcing these confessions?

 

“No. I want to know about the other thing you said, when I begged you. Was it a joke, or the truth?” He moved closer. His legs were now on either side of mine, touching me. There was no way I could get away from him.

 

The feel of his warmth and his closeness, the look in his eyes overwhelmed me. I didn't want to be away from him. “It was the truth,” I whispered. “But that's not important.” Having him close to me was unbearable. I wanted to fling my arms around him and kiss him. What a fool I was.

 

“Why isn't it important?” Zaraki asked.

 

“Because you're only interested in the sex. You might like me, you might care about me, and you might even have claimed me, but I love you. I don't know why. I think it's too soon to fall in love, but I have. I don't know you. I don't want to love you. I enjoy the sex. I don't want to love anyone. It hurts too much when it's over. Love leads to betrayal; and loss; and pain.” My voice cracked as I said the last few words. The shaming tears were back, trickling down my cheeks. I ignored them.

 

Zaraki rose to his feet, pulling me with him, and embraced me.

 

“I don't want you to hold me. I don't want to see you. If I see you I won't be able to control my feelings. I'll say the words again. It will get worse the longer I'm with you. As I know you better, I may love you more. I don't want that. I'd prefer to forget anything happened between us. Leave now, please.” I tried to resist his touch as the tears continued to fall. Why was he torturing me this way?

 

“Did you actually listen to anything I said, woman?” Zaraki demanded. His face was close to mine and I hated the fact he was watching me cry.

 

I dragged my hand over my face, shamed by my weakness. “Yes, you like me, you've claimed me. I was listening.” The tears were slowing down by now. I felt so humiliated by yet another worthless display of emotion.

 

“Why do you think I've called you beloved?” It seemed a strange question to ask. I'd thought of it in passing, but never really examined his reasons.

 

I shrugged again. “A sick sense of humour? To shock me? Because you wanted sex? I don't know. Please let me go. Leave.”

 

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” Zaraki seemed to be losing patience with me. His grip tightened.

 

“Spell out what?” I didn't know what he was talking about. I hoped I knew, but I couldn't allow myself to consider it.

 

“I love you,” Zaraki said slowly.

 

My head jerked back from shock and I looked into his eyes. He was gazing at me with an expression I had once seen on Gin's face, in the early days, before we became Shinigami.

 

“You're joking, of course. You don't have to tell me that if you want to have sex. Look we'll make a new arrangement. We'll have sex as often as you want. We just won't talk,” I gabbled. He could not have meant it. Zaraki in love with me? It was absurd.

 

Zaraki bent down and kissed me. Just a gentle lip to lip kiss. The same type of innocent kiss he had given me once before and then refused to tell me why. I found my arms had wrapped around him.

 

“Why, Zaraki?” I could not prevent the question.

 

“You're asking questions again? You asked me last time I kissed you like that.” The quizzical look he gave me almost made me smile.

 

“Why?” I wanted an answer this time. I didn't want to listen to any distractions.

 

“Because of how I feel about you. I'm kissing you like that, because it's more than sex. You kept accusing me of acting strangely. Maybe I was. It doesn't matter.”

 

My mouth gained control and would not accept any instructions from my brain. “I was biting my tongue all last night,” I said, the words spilling out of my mouth. “I kept freezing on you because I was fighting my feelings. I wanted to tell you how I felt. I wanted to tell you, but I thought you would remind me of our arrangement. I ran away because I was sure you would tell me to leave, if you knew that I loved you, that I love you. I realised I was in love with you in the human world. When I blurted out those words, I realised I couldn't stay. It hurt too much.”

 

“Why didn't you talk to me last night? Why did we waste a whole night together? I wanted to tell you how I felt. Why did you lie?” Zaraki's lips were close to mine. I wanted to kiss him and forget everything else, but decided if I explained now, he might understand.

 

“Gin rejected me when I told him I loved him. I'd loved him for so long and I thought he loved me; but he didn't. After I told him, he distanced himself from me. He'd always remind me of his superior status. I lost him when I told him and I never managed to get close to him again. I expected rejection from you. Telling someone you love them gives them power over you. I expected you to use it.” I had not told many people this. Being rejected when you told a long time lover how you felt is degrading. I had continued to love Gin, hopelessly, for too long.

 

“I'm not Ichimaru,” Zaraki made the statement with great firmness. I guessed that he hated the thought he was anything like my one time love.

 

“I know that. You're nothing like him,” I said quietly. It was true. Zaraki had very little in common with Gin.

 

We stood there holding each other. I rested my cheek on his chest, hearing his heart beat. How could he love me? He didn't know me, I didn't know him.

 

“Are you sure it's not just sex?” he asked.

 

“I could ask the same of you.” How could I believe this man even knew what love felt like? It was just sex.

 

“I've never wanted a woman more. When you were in the human world it wasn't just the sex, I thought about. We could find out. I'll leave now and we can see how it feels to be apart, again. Give each other time. Meet occasionally, maybe twice a week for a talk or a meal for the first month. Date for a second month. Wait another month or so before we fuck.” Zaraki suggested his plan in a calm manner. When had he thought this up?

 

My heart sank. He'd leave after he'd told me he loved me? Was the guy crazy? I tightened my arms around him. I didn't want him to leave. “Please, don't go,” I said quietly.

 

“Did you think I was serious? Wait three months for a fuck? Are you insane, woman? Can't you feel how hard I am? I'm not leaving here until I've had sex with you, more than once. We've got unfinished business from last night, remember? Now, take your clothes off, or I'll rip them off you,” Zaraki pressed himself against me.

 

“Kiss me,” I said.

 

He kissed me. It was a different experience as I could feel the gentleness mixed with the passion. My lips parted under his and he kissed me deeply, tasting me, arousing me.

 

“Now will you take off your clothes?” Zaraki was becoming impatient.

 

“I can't when you are holding me so close,” I protested. “You have to take your clothes off too.” It seemed he was always asking me to take my clothes off.

 

“Why don't you take my clothes off?” Zaraki changed tack, still holding me close. Take his clothes off? The man had flipped.

 

“It takes too long.” I remembered the last time I had removed his clothes. That had only been the night before. It seemed further in the past than that with all that happened since.

 

“Is there a time limit?” he asked, his lips on my neck.

 

“No.” I wanted him to keep kissing my neck.

 

Zaraki picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. “We're going to do this properly this time.”

 

“I don't understand.” Properly? There was a proper method to what? Have sex?

 

After he placed me on my feet he began to unfasten my uniform. “I'm going to strip you, slowly. And you're going to strip me. We're going to spend the night together, sleeping and fucking, mainly the latter. I am staying here all night and you are not going to leave.” He kissed me as he removed the rest of my clothes as fast as he could without ripping them. “Much better,” Zaraki said. “Now take my clothes off.”

 

I removed his clothes as quickly as I could. I wanted to be close to him again. “What about tomorrow?”

 

“Tomorrow is tomorrow. Tonight is all I'm interested in, now. Beloved, I need to be inside you. I want to hear you scream my name again.”

 

“You didn't strip me slowly,” I complained as he began touching me. Slow took minutes, not the speedy and efficient process he had performed.

 

“I didn't rip your clothes off. For me that's slowly. You didn't strip me slowly either,” Zaraki replied. He picked me up and lay me on the bed where he quickly joined me.

 

He pulled me close and we lay there facing each other and embracing. The thrill of feeling his skin against mine after trying to force myself to comprehend that we would never touch like this again, made me feel dizzy. I looked into his eyes and saw that he was watching me intently.

 

“Tell me again, Matsumoto beloved,” he requested huskily. He had cupped my cheek in his hand so I could not look away.

 

“I want you,” I wasn't going to tell him quickly. He had made me wait. It was his turn to wait.

 

“Not that, the other.” From his tone he knew I was being deliberately stupid.

 

“I like you.”

 

He kissed me with passion and then drew his head back, leaving me wanting more. “I want to hear the words again. Tell me.”

 

“I love you,” I said feeling my face flush.

 

He grinned at me and held me close which I did not mind at all. “Which fantasy do you want to fulfil now?” he asked, lecherously.

 

I could feel his erection hard against me and wondered what he meant. Fantasy? He was going to let me fulfil my sexual fantasy? But which one? I thought for a moment. Zaraki began touching my breasts, flat palming my nipples as I thought and it made those thought processes just a little more difficult. “There are three fantasies I want to fulfil that have been driving me crazy. I'll tell you what they are and you can choose,” I said.

 

“Mnmn. Three in particular? Interesting. Tell me,” he said as he trailed his fingers down my back as he licked my neck. It distracted me for a moment.

 

“I want you to come in my mouth,” I said.

 

“Only if I'm licking you at the time, making you come with my tongue and mouth,” he bargained.

 

His words brought a flush of desire that made my throat tighten. I wanted that so much.

 

“Come on, tell me the second fantasy,” he prompted me.

 

I gulped. This was one I had fantasised about a number of times. “I fantasised about being on top, being in control during sex,” I admitted knowing he liked to be the one in control, or driving me to lose control, or both.

 

Zaraki kissed me lingeringly. “I'm not sure which fantasy I like more,” he said. “And the last fantasy?”

 

“Having you yell my name as you come,” I murmured, ashamed that I was actually admitting it.

 

Zaraki considered the requests for a few minutes as his hand stroked my stomach, not straying any further, but exciting me all the same. “We could combine two of the fantasies, or do you want them separate?”

 

“Two together; but which two?” I asked enthusiastically. Maybe he would make a quick decision and we could be enjoying each other soon. I was beginning to feel a little needy for him. Okay, I wanted him.

 

“I want to be inside you, now. We didn't finish last night and I want to feel you around me again,” he said his hand finally moving lower than my stomach and slipping between my folds. “You can be on top.”

 

I hesitated. I wanted to do this so much, but felt unexpectedly shy.

 

“Beloved. You want me, don't you?” Zaraki asked, taking my hand and placing it on his erection.

 

Feeling the hard, hot flesh under my hand made my mouth dry. I had to do this now. Zaraki obligingly rolled onto his back and I got astride him. Before I did anything, I bent down and kissed him. His tongue entered my mouth, searching, seeking the places he's touched before that had aroused me. As we kissed I took his erection in my hand and positioned it below me. I eased the head into me, feeling his heat as he entered me. I groaned into his mouth as I slid down further. I dragged my mouth from his and concentrated on feeling his length slide into me until he was completely enclosed. I didn't move for a few minutes, savouring the satisfaction. I'd wanted this, so much.

 

His hands had again moved to my breasts. “Move closer,” he urged. “I want to suck your breasts.”

 

I moved my body forward and his lips grabbed one of my nipples, sucking hard. I lifted my body up and slid down feeling him penetrate me fully. I repeated this, over while he continued to suck my breast, making it hard for me to keep the rhythm. The next time I lifted my body, he thrust up hard, drawing a gasp from me as he plunged deep into me. It was unexpected and so welcome. His mouth left my breast as he thrust into me again as I lifted my body. This was so arousing.

 

“I like this, Matsumoto. Keep moving. I like the way you react when I do this,” he said, breathing hard, while repeating the action.

 

I was losing control again. I wanted to be in charge, just taking all the pleasure I could. He'd made me so aroused with all of his activities, the touching and the kissing. “Hell Zaraki. I thought I was supposed to be in control,” I gasped.

 

“You know I prefer it when you're out of control. Looking at you on top, it's so right.” He thrust into me again, hard.

 

Trying to restore some influence, I rocked my body on his, feeling his full length in me. He put his hands on my hips and lifted me so he could commence thrusting into me again.

 

“The rocking feels good, but it's not enough to make you lose control,” he panted as he pushed upward again.

 

He was correct. I began to move, anticipating his thrusts. He was so good at touching me in the right places. One final thrust and I lost all restraint. “Zaraki,” I screamed as I came, my body shuddering with pleasure.

 

He pushed into me twice more and shuddered underneath me, “Matsumoto, beloved,” he said as he came.

 

I lay on top of him, exhausted, and he folded his arms around me. “You didn't yell,” I said when I recovered my breath.

 

“We'll have to try again,” he said still breathing heavily. “Why haven't you kissed me?”

 

I moved so I could kiss him. He kissed me gently in return.

 

“I like your fantasies, but next time, it's my choice,” he said as he slowly stroked my back.

 

“You can choose next time,” I agreed wondering what possible fantasy he would want to choose. I didn't really care as long as it involved sex with him.

 

“Not planning on running away again, or visiting your friends?” Zaraki asked his mouth near my ear.

 

“No. Not tonight,” I replied sleepily. I was still tired. I felt comfortable in his embrace and didn't want to move because it was still hard for me to believe that he was here and in love with me. I didn't want to be anywhere else. I shut my eyes and snuggled close.

 

“You're not going to sleep already. We've only had sex once tonight. Wake up,” he ordered, easing me onto the bed and tickling me lightly.

 

“I drank too much last night,” I said yawning. “I'm tired. I don't like being tickled and stop ordering me around.”

 

“I like ordering you around. Are you too tired for me?” Zaraki asked his hands had ceased tickling me and were roaming over my body. “Remember what happened last time you went to sleep when I wanted you awake?”

 

“I remember,” I said, feeling a twinge of arousal from his touches and the memory. The man had made me want him so much and then held out on me. “You tormented me.”

 

“It wasn't torment. I was just teaching you a lesson. I remember I did this,” he said, moving me off his body and onto the bed as his mouth sought my breast.

 

The feeling of his mouth and tongue woke me even more, as his hand moved between my legs. I had thought that my lust had been sated but it was now fully back in force. “More,” I said.

 

Zaraki stopped. “I thought that might wake you up,” he commented. “We still haven't fulfilled my other fantasy from last night.”

 

I opened my eyes wide and stared at him. Last night's little attempt had resulted in one of the worst days of my life, but at least now we knew how we felt about each other. “You still want to do that?”

 

“More than ever. Now that you finally admitted you love me, I want to make you miss my absence,” he said and stretched. I watched the muscles move as he stretched. I still couldn't believe he had told me he loved me and he was in my bed. “Do you want to screw for hours?”

 

As much as I wanted that, there was something I had to say to him before we went any further. It was important, at least to me. “Zaraki?” I was a little nervous about how he would react to my request.

 

“Yes.” He looked at me warily. I wondered what he expected me to say. He knew I loved him.

 

“I'm hungry.” It had been so long since I ate and the drinking hadn't helped. Now I felt ravenous for food.

 

“Hungry for sex?” he asked laconically.

 

“Always.” Then I paused. “But right now I'm hungry for food. I haven't eaten since we arrived back.”

 

Zaraki started laughing. “You're hungry. I offer you sex and you want to eat?” He stopped laughing, abruptly and gazed at me steadily, an eyebrow cocked. “It's not an excuse to try to leave?”

 

“I don't know if I have any food,” I admitted. I hadn't checked. My interest in food had gone until now but if I didn't eat soon I thought I might pass out. Any minute and my stomach would growl loudly.

 

Zaraki rose, from the bed, removed the key from his coat pocket and went to the front door, naked. I listened to the conversation. “Ikkaku. Oh stop staring, Yumichika. Yeah, I'm naked, so what? Get some food, fast, and then you can go. I'll be here all night.” I heard him shut the front door and return to the room.

 

“I thought you arrived here alone. Who else is out there and why did you bring them?” I asked. Why did he bring anyone? Couldn't the man go anywhere by himself?

 

“I wanted to make sure you didn't leave. I just brought Ikkaku and Yumichika. I thought they were the best choice. You know them,” Zaraki admitted slightly shamefaced.

 

“Yes, as your spies. Zaraki, why did you do that?” I asked.

 

“Do what exactly?” Zaraki asked.

 

I looked at him. He was standing beside the bed looking down at me. I liked looking at him naked. “Why did you go to the door, naked?”

 

He grinned down at me. “Another claim woman. Yumichika and Ikkaku saw me naked in your quarters and would immediately guess, correctly, we were having sex. That should dispel any other rumours.”

 

“I suppose you want me to answer the door, naked, when they bring the food,” I teased not prepared to do so, but wanting to see whether he would accept the offer.

 

Zaraki bent over me, placing his hands on my shoulders and scowled. “You will not be answering the door naked. No one is permitted to see you naked from now on, except me. I thought I explained it. Exclusive.”

 

I glared at him and then sat up and grabbed him. I brought his face to mine, kissing him passionately, while running my hand over his chest and then lower. I felt his penis stiffen at my touch. He sat on the bed beside me and returned my kiss holding my face between his hands, keeping my head steady as his tongue plundered my mouth. I suddenly wasn't hungry, except for Zaraki. I pulled my mouth from his.

 

“Is there enough time?” I began.

 

“Not for what I want. Woman, why did you start something I have to wait to finish?” Zaraki's hands were moving lower and I felt them on my breasts.

 

“You started it by opening the front door while you were naked. I don't want anyone else seeing you the way I do,” I said. Why should he make all the rules?

 

“Jealousy,” Zaraki said. “Good.”

 

His hands caressed my waist and then my hip and I began to touch him in return.

 

“You'd better eat quickly,” he said as his hand wandered even lower, making me move against his fingers, wanting more.

 

“I will. I've suddenly found an appetite for something else,” I replied.

 

He kissed me again and pushed me down on the bed. “Maybe there is enough time,” he said. “Not for what I was hoping for, but maybe we could do something else.”

 

Eagerly I parted my legs and Zaraki knelt between. He pushed into me hard and fast. I arched against him, overcome by the speed.

 

“That feels so good,” I gasped.

 

He withdrew slightly and pushed back in again.

 

“More,” I demanded. Would there be enough time?

 

There was a knock at the door. “Damn,” Zaraki said. He withdrew reluctantly. “I'd better answer that.”

 

“Put on some clothes before you answer the door. You don't want to frighten anyone. Please,” I asked, touching him lingeringly. I didn't care about the food anymore.

 

The “please” softened him and he kissed me tenderly on the forehead. “I don't want to put my uniform back on.” He grabbed a sheet from the bed and wrapped it around his waist. “Is that better?” he asked.

 

The sheet concealed his erection, barely. I nodded as I heard another knock on the door. Zaraki went to answer it.

 

I heard the conversation.

 

“Oh, you're wearing something now,” Yumichika said.

 

“It's a good thing too. How many people did you tell along the way? I see a few of them followed you,” Zaraki raised his voice. “Nothing to see here. I have deferred to the demands of modesty. Now could you all bugger off?”

 

“What are you wearing?” Ikkaku asked a note of laughter in his voice.

 

“What sort of stupid question is that? It's a sheet. Oh, hell, just give me the food and go. Next time, keep your mouth shut. I didn't want an audience.”

 

“See you tomorrow, Captain. Do you want us to drop by in the morning?” Yumichika tried to sound serious, but I could hear the suppressed amusement in his voice.

 

“No! I'll turn up when I'm ready.” Zaraki shut the door and entered the bedroom bearing a box.

 

“I have no idea what this is,” he said as he looked at the box uncertainly as if wondering what would be inside.

 

“I think it was a good idea that you wore the sheet,” I observed smiling at him. His erection was still noticeable. I didn't want to think of what would have happened if he hadn't worn the sheet.

 

“Yeah. There were a lot of people outside. Don't know what they expected to see,” Zaraki said, frowning at the thought.

 

“Zaraki, naked, of course,” I replied. The answer was obvious to me. I was the only one who should be allowed to see him like that.

 

“Well, that's more people who know where I'm spending tonight. Face it beloved. You can't escape me, now.”

 

“Fine, I don't want to. Can we eat?” The sooner we ate, the sooner we could have sex.

 

Zaraki gave me the box. “Here. Gorge yourself, if it makes you happy.”

 

I opened the package. The contents seemed a little unusual. “Um, Zaraki. I think there's been some kind of mistake,” I said looking inside.

 

 

 

A.N:

 

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