Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Different Circumstances ❯ The Meal ( Chapter 21 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine.

 

A.N.

Thought I'd put it here for a change.

 

Soundtrack

`In the Waiting Line' Zero 7

`Domain' Future Sounds of London

`Nightmares by the Sea' Jeff Buckley

 

Thank you to the people who have taken the time to leave feedback.

 

Review. I like reviews.

 

Check out the fan art by banryuu for this story. Here's the link. http://www.mediaminer.org/fanart/view.php?id=196474&submit=View

 

The Meal

 

I laughed gently. “You were expecting that. Last time you talked to me you told me you thought she would make that move soon. Have you ever thought of telling her that you love someone else?” That was a tactic he had used in the past with other women who were pursuing him.

 

His smile was rueful as he pushed his hat to the back of his head. “I'd told her that I was chasing you. She found that easy to believe because we spent so much time together, but then you married Kenpachi and no one would believe you'd be stupid enough to be unfaithful to him. Only someone seeking a quick and painful death would approach you now.”

 

I thought about it and knew he was speaking the truth as he saw it. All the same, even though he knew I had married Zaraki, Gin had still decided to abduct me. He normally did not do things that stupid; he rarely made that sort of error. Our conversation in Hueco Mundo seemed wrong too, almost as wrong as the conversation I had with Aizen when he was pretending to be Zaraki. In the time we had been together before he dumped me, before the rape, Gin had never slapped me or punched me. We'd fought on a number of occasions, but mainly with words. Obviously his exposure to the Arrancar had changed him, or maybe Aizen had contaminated him through prolonged exposure. Why was I thinking of Gin? I hadn't thought about it when I was trapped with him because I was terrified. I didn't like the way my mind was throwing random thoughts at me.

 

Shaking my head as if that would dispel the unwelcome memories, I tried to concentrate on my friend's problem. For some reason I began to think about the human world and one of the programs I'd watched gave me an idea. “Can Nanao cook?” I asked excitedly.

 

Shunsui scratched his nose. “Characterize cook,” he said with interest.

 

“Can she cook a meal? Food. Preferably edible.” Cooking was cooking as long as you could eat the result. I didn't expect the woman to be cordon bleu.

 

“Um, well, ur. I don't know,” he confessed with a guilty look on his face.

 

Toshiro and I looked at him in shock. How could he not know? They'd known each other for many years, over a century.

 

“Nanao asks me over for dinner, regularly, but I always find an excuse. The one time I did go, I sort of got called away. You remember, Ran. You were the one who interrupted and you were an hour earlier than we arranged.” He accused me with a very stern look on his face while his eyes twinkled with laughter.

 

“But I thought she would have brought you biscuits, cakes or something,” I protested weakly.

 

Sighing gustily he shook his head. “Nope. Nothing.”

 

“Well, let's pretend we know she can cook. What you do is ask her to cook you a meal, then invite the Captain General,” this was a solution, maybe not a good one.

 

“And then what?”

 

“You don't turn up; send a message that you had some crisis that only you could handle come up. Say you'll try to make it, but they shouldn't wait. Send a few bottles of wine and sake, asking that they keep one bottle of sake for you. That will make them think you intend to join them, but you won't.” At least it would get Nanao and Yamamoto in the same room and the drink might loosen them up.

 

Toshiro looked at me understanding dawning on his face. “You forced me to watch that program in the human world. I hated it because it seemed so contrived. It won't work.”

 

“Don't be so quick, Toshiro. It might because it seems an original idea to me. Don't dismiss the idea. It's better than anything we've come up with. I'll do it, tomorrow. I mean I'll organise it tomorrow. If this works out Ran, I'll send a case of sake over as a reward and a wedding present. Getting her off my back would be great. Let's drink to that.” He turned to where I kept my sake and I wondered how he knew it was there. “Do you want some, Ran?”

 

My first reaction was agreement, but then I suddenly felt tired. “I think I better go back to Zaraki's place. I need to sleep. Maybe tomorrow we can have that drink.”

 

Toshiro immediately got to his feet. “I have to walk you back, that's the agreement.”

 

“I'll come too, I suppose. I've got nothing else to do and it's a pleasant time of day for a walk. That way everyone will be certain that you are being protected, or monitored, whichever they want to believe. What about food, Ran? Will you cook for us?” Shunsui asked hopefully. His eyes seemed to light up at the thought of food and I know he dearly loved it when I agreed to cook.

 

Of course I was hungry as I had only had those buns earlier in the day. “I don't even know if there is any food,” I protested. “I don't think I've even been in the kitchen,” I said and then realising the admission I'd made, I blushed.

 

Toshiro and Shunsui looked at each other, eyebrows raised and Shunsui burst into laughter. “You've been with the Captain, how long, and you've never been into the kitchen? Why is that, Ran?”

 

I dropped my eyes and mumbled. “I don't know.” My cheeks got hotter as Shunsui sniggered and then I wondered why I was embarrassed. I was married to Zaraki and we had sex. Everyone knew that. From the first time it had not been a secret and why should I be bashful? Raising my eyes I stared at both of them, deciding there was no reason to be shy. “I haven't had time and whatever you're imagining is probably correct. So what? I married the man and I love him. He didn't marry me to get a housekeeper.”

 

“I'm sure he didn't,” said Toshiro and I noticed his eyes were sparkling with amusement.

 

“Let your lurid mind run wild, Shunsui. We both know you're jealous. I'll cook, but you have to buy the food. I feel like something healthy, like a stir fry. Vegetables and some meat and rice,” I decided aloud.

 

“You come and choose the stuff,” he said imploringly. “You know I hate shopping by myself.”

 

That was how I found myself choosing food and crossing the threshold of Zaraki's kitchen for the first time. It was spartan. The walls were white, stark white, and the colour made me wince a little as it reminded me of the colour of the walls in Hueco Mundo. There were no scrolls or decorations only an empty, vase standing on the table. From a quick glance I wondered how often the room had been used since Zaraki had moved in, but why would he cook? There were very few cooking utensils; the shelves contained some staples, and snack foods. To the right of the cooking area there was the table I had noticed earlier with some cushions spread around it. Bare, it might be, but it was functional and at least it was clean. I shook my head, wondering about my husbands' eating habits. I knew he liked good food.

 

In the corner of the room was a pile of baskets and boxes. Glancing at it curiously I saw a familiar bowl and nodded, understanding that this was where the items from my kitchen had been placed. I would unpack and arrange them tomorrow. Tonight I did not have the time or the energy.

 

At least everything worked and even though I wanted to sit at the table and relax, I busied myself, tying my hair up, to keep it out of the way and trying to find the items I needed. I felt a momentary pang of sadness that I was not cooking my first meal in this kitchen for my husband. That thought made me smile as I remembered the conversation we had about expectations the day we married. He had assured me then he didn't expect me to cook for him but now I wished he was the person for whom I was preparing this meal.

 

“I'll do the rice,” Toshiro offered, “As long as you don't want me to make sushi.” He grimaced slightly.

 

Smiling at him, I nodded, curious as to when my captain had learnt to cook rice. He must have noticed my look and said, “I made the sushi for the party, well, mostly.”

 

I remembered the sushi; it had been amateur, but nice. The confession touched me.

 

“I'll cut the vegetables,” Shunsui had already removed his coat and hat and was reaching for the chopping board. “I hope the knives are sharp.”

 

`Of course the knives in this kitchen are sharp,” a familiar voice informed us.

 

“I'll cut the meat,” a different voice offered. Looking toward the doorway I noticed Yumichika and Ikkaku standing there, arms folded, both with one eyebrow raised satirically as they observed us. Feeling safe in the company of two Captains and in the 11th Division compound, I had forgotten to lock the door. With Zaraki in Hueco Mundo, I had not thought Gin would come to visit again, at least I denied the possibility. I was not surprised to see Zaraki's trusted companions in his kitchen.

 

“I think we should remain and chaperone,” Ikkaku said smiling widely. “I don't want my Captain's bride to be alone with two men in the kitchen.” He nodded briefly to Shunsui and Toshiro.

 

“But being with four men is okay? And I'm with my Captain,” I protested weakly, but didn't really care if they stayed. Having them there made me almost believe that Zaraki would turn up any minute demanding a kiss, or something more.

 

“We were given strict instructions that we were to watch over you,” Yumichika said, taking the knife from my hand and slicing the meat finely. He was fast and his moves were deft and neat. “There are plenty of ingredients and if we all help the meal will be ready quickly. Ikkaku, find the wok, I know it's here somewhere and then set the table.”

 

The kitchen was too small for five people to be working within it, so once he located the wok, and set the table, Ikkaku sat at the table where he was quickly joined by Yumichika and Shunsui once they had finished chopping and slicing. It was soothing to just have to push the food around the wok, adding a few seasonings and then making sure it cooked. Toshiro made the rice and within 15 minutes we were all sitting down at the table, eating. I was offered sake or beer, but instead drank water. Tired as I was I realised that alcohol would make me fall asleep quickly.

 

“What's married life like, Ran?” my sly friend asked. His lightly bearded face wore it's sleepy, teasing look.

 

It was evident he was trying to embarrass me, but I knew that was his purpose. “You could always marry Nanao and find out,” I replied sweetly, demurely lowering my eyelashes. I could pretend to be coy when necessary. “I'm sure she would accept your hand and heart and then we could swap notes. And then we can compare notes with Renji and Rukia. I'm sure they'll marry when they return.”

 

Yumichika looked thunderstruck. “Are you su…..going to marry your lieutenant?” He stuttered, uncharacteristically ill at ease. His eyes were fixed feverishly to Captain Kyoraku, glittering in the light.

 

“No. Our dear hostess is making a joke, not a funny one,” Shunsui's face had gone tight and the easy smile vanished at the question.

 

“Oh,” Yumichika looked perplexed until Ikkaku nudged him in the ribs.

 

“If you're not hungry, I'll eat that for you,” the offer seemed genuine and Ikkaku's hand was reaching to remove the bowl from in front of his friend.

 

Yumichika began to eat quickly, his head bent over his bowl. He did not appear to taste what he was eating seemingly deep in thought. I observed him for a few minutes, wondering what was on his mind. I wanted to ask, but now was not the best time. There were many volatile emotions and desires that existed under the serene surface of the Seireitei.

 

“I wonder how the mission is going,” I said, trying to change the subject but mentioning it made me dwell on Zaraki. I started planning a meal for his return and my mind drifted on to other interesting matters as I felt my eyes begin to close, to allow me to visualise it more intensely. A touch on my hand made me blink and I looked at my Captain.

 

“Your food is getting cold,” was his explanation for the interruption to my thoughts. As I re-commenced eating, I noticed he was right.

 

“Honestly, Ran, I've been trying to talk to you. What were you thinking about? You've been spacing out for 10 minutes, at least,” Shunsui asked his curiosity evident in his voice.

 

“Zaraki,” I said not really thinking about the answer. Why did I need to hide the truth?

 

“At least she didn't start drooling or singing, this time,” my Captain said. “Gentlemen, please forgive my lieutenant.”

 

“She's in lurve, sweet, sweet lurve,” Shunsui drawled in a sing-song voice, winking at me.

 

Ikkaku was laughing. “Ran, I'll have to tell my captain when he returns. It might make him feel flattered.”

 

“No, you will not, or I'll tell him what I know, and the other interested parties,” I said firmly, rallying slightly. I knew his secret, though he had tried to hide it, mainly because he had confided me one drunken night in the human world when the sake had flowed freely and Yumichika had passed out.

 

He blanched slightly, knowing I could make the story grow in the telling. “I won't say a thing.”

 

“I hear that I owe you anyway.” I maintained eye contact with the man as I decided to make him squirm further. Previously rumours abounded that I was sex mad. His indiscretion in front of my husband's division would not have done anything to quell those spicy titbits of gossip. “It's reassuring to know that nearly everyone in the Seireitei has become familiar with that `encounter' in Soul Society, which you overheard. Allow me to return the favour sometime, Ikkaku.”

 

Yumichika looked up from his empty bowl, finally joining in the conversation. “It was a bad idea to tell anyone, and you basically told the whole division. I know our Captain doesn't mind, but I think you better apologise. I remember the expression on her face.” He turned to me and quietly remarked, “I'd never seen your wisdom teeth before then, Ran. You keep them nice and clean.”

 

Chuckling, Shunsui leant over the table, gesturing to me with his chopsticks. “I wondered where that rumour started. So it is based on fact. Really, Ran. I'm shocked. Such wanton behaviour in a public place!”

 

“We'd only got married that morning and we were interrupted,” was my protest and then I realised what I was saying, but what did it matter? Hell, Shunsui was probably imagining all sorts of things and Ikkaku had overheard us in Soul Society. What would anyone expect a newly married couple to be doing? Playing tiddlywinks, or having an intense discussion about the best ways to defeat the Arrancar?

 

“Too much information,” Toshiro said. “I think we should discuss something else.”

 

As he spoke I yawned loudly, covering my mouth with my hand. I wasn't intending to be rude, but I was very tired and while the food helped, I needed sleep.

 

“Sleepy, Ran?” Yumichika asked attentive and intent.

 

I nodded as another yawn assailed me. “Yes, very tired. I haven't had a lot of sleep since the party.” The four men exchanged glances and looked at me guiltily. For a moment I wondered why they looked like that and then realised what they were thinking. “I don't blame anyone except Gin and Aizen. I was drugged too. I still feel bad that Zaraki didn't rescue Orihime and that Yachiru was hurt.”

 

“My lieutenant feels guilty she didn't stop Ichimaru, especially after she tried to make the Cap…. Um, yeah. It's one of the reasons she was so keen to go to Hueco Mundo. I think she wants to return the favour, keep an eye on the Captain and try to make it up to you.” Ikkaku stammered.

 

I saw perspiration bead his forehead and knew I had to probe further. “She tried to make Zaraki, what?” When did she have a chance to do anything?

 

“When you were in the human world, she kept drawing his attention to any attractive female Shinigami. In fact she made the two of us accompany her to see him after he brought you home the first time, to tell him you were a bad idea. But he wouldn't listen; in fact he kicked us out very fast, and told us it was none of our business. Yachiru told me, after we got back, that every woman she tried to get him interested in, he rejected saying that he wasn't attracted as he already had someone he had sworn to be faithful to and he didn't break promises.” Ikkaku gabbled the words and I recalled when I had returned to Zaraki that first day he had told me that Captain Kuchiki had not been the only person who had tried to persuade him that he was making a mistake. “Don't think badly of her. She's very protective of the Captain and was concerned that you were using him.”

 

Suddenly it all made sense. “I know she cares about him and I don't think badly of her. How could I? She tried to stop Gin from taking me and nearly died. In fact she did me a favour because Zaraki's so stubborn. When she tried to change his mind about me, he became more determined to wait for me,” I said and yawned again. My eyes were drooping and I rubbed my face, trying to wake up.

 

“Go to bed, Ran. We'll clean up. You don't mind if we drink the Captain's sake, do you?” Ikkaku urged me.

 

“Leave the good quality sake. I know he prefers that. I can't go to bed, the kitchen's a mess and I have to secure the door,” I murmured, longing to sleep.

 

“We secured the door when we came in and we're staying here tonight, and every night the Captain's away, or at least we'll take it in turn. Special instructions. Ikkaku, go and get the mats that the Captain keeps for us. There are only two, so we'll have to improvise.” Yumichika instructed.

 

Ikkaku nodded and left the room returning swiftly, giving me a strange look as he returned to his place at the table. “Make sure you fasten the bedroom door and don't open the window. Don't worry, you'll be safe.” The words were uttered without inflection and I wondered what he had seen that had disconcerted him.

 

My mind wasn't working very well. I nodded, got to my feet and walked to the bedroom, fastening the door behind. Then I looked at the bed and felt like crying as I realised what Ikkaku had seen. The sheets were the ones that had been on the bed the previous night and I could see the bloodstains from where I had lost my virginity. The man had a talent for finding out our secrets and I wondered how I could explain it, or if I must.

 

With difficulty I changed the sheets, folding the ruined ones neatly, hiding them amongst the pile of my belongings in the bedroom, and then quickly used the bathroom. I grasped it would be best if I wore something, but I didn't want to wear anything of mine. My eyes fell on the shirt Zaraki had been wearing the previous day and picking it up, I put it on requiring any sort of contact with the man. Love was Hell. Needing someone so much hurt. The shirt was long enough to reach past my thighs and it was very large, even on me. Wearing it, I could inhale his scent, pretend he was holding me and that made me feel better. I slipped on a pair of knickers and I climbed into bed, feeling more relaxed and fell asleep.

 

I didn't know how long I'd been asleep when I felt warm hands pull the shirt apart and then begin to caress my breasts lingering over the nipples and then touching, sliding over the sides and back, the returning to tease my nipples erect. I knew those hands; they were the hands I longed for. “Zaraki,” I breathed and opened my eyes to see the large figure of my husband looming over me. I couldn't see him clearly in the dimness of the room, but I could smell him and only one man had touched me like that: urgency, lust and passion combined with a tinge of gentleness.

 

“Becoming a transvestite in my absence, are you woman? I think I'll have to remind you of the difference between a woman and a man,” he told me pulling the sheet down.

 

“But you're still dressed,” I said accepting he was there. I reached up to touch his face, to assure my mind that it was truly he. It didn't matter how he got there, all that mattered was he was back with me. “Did you wake Ikkaku or Yumichika as you came home? Was the mission a success? Is Aizen dead?”

 

“That's not important right now, is it, Matsumoto? I'm here, you're here, let's fuck.” He moved between my legs, pushing them apart. Quickly shredding my underwear his mouth engulfed my clit, sucking and licking simultaneously and I gasped. This was not the teasing foreplay I expected, but meant to bring me to full arousal in seconds, which it did.

 

“I thought I told you to be oiled and ready, wife. You're not being very obedient,” He said as he simultaneously moved up my body and thrust into me.

 

It was happening too fast. I wanted him, there was no possible way I could deny that, and feeling his hard erection penetrate me so swiftly made me struggle for breath, but he was still fully dressed and I was half awake, but so aroused. He began to take me with hard, fast thrusts, and my body responded while I longed for the feeling of his mouth on mine. I wanted to feel his skin against mine, see his eyes devouring me. I needed to touch his flesh with my hands as he drove into me. I would come soon, but I wanted more than the orgasm. Finally I understood his words that first night we were together. All sex was the good part.

 

“Kiss me, beloved husband,” I said, opening my eyes, wanting to see his face.

 

Suddenly the rhythm of the sex changed and the man above me began to hurt me. I didn't know what was happening and I cringed under the assault of his thrusts as it reminded me of something unpleasant I had experienced before. His penis became a weapon of pain. What was happening?

 

“Why would I kiss you?” Aizen replied. “It is fascinating how you appeared to be enjoying this, Ran, until you asked me to kiss you. I wondered if you'd respond if I pretended to be your husband and you did. He's dead by the way and Gin is waiting for me to finish. We got a few Arrancar who seemed interested in raping a Shinigami, but I'll let Gin have you first.”

 

The light came on and the sight that was revealed made it evident that I was still in Hueco Mundo. I saw the stark white walls, the symmetry of the room and the bars across the windows. The man raping me smiled cruelly, enjoying my shock and dismay. I tried to shut my eyes to block out the sight of the man I hated, but they refused to close. This was too much to bear, being in this place, under this man, and I screamed. Aizen slapped me hard across the face, two, three times. “I like it when you scream. It was so easy to convince you that you had been rescued by your husband. I've enjoyed fucking you while pretending to be him, but I don't understand why he was gentle with you and it bores me now. You need to be used, treated viciously.”

 

As I tried to comprehend what he said my mind could not accept the words. I'd been having sex with Aizen, voluntarily, because I thought he was Zaraki? That was impossible. I'd lost my virginity to Aizen and he was going to hand me over to Gin and the Arrancar? None of this could be true. I was struggling against him, hitting out at him, biting at him, punching him, thrashing, trying to force him out of my body, attempting to push him off me, but all my exertions had no effect. He didn't seem to notice and the continual pounding of his body into mine was agonising. I was screaming, protesting against the pain, sobbing at the loss of my reason to live and the death of my love.

 

“Matsumoto, wake up,” I felt someone was tugging at my shoulder pulling hard. I hit out at Aizen, my arms flailing, and felt my fist punch something, hard. “That hurt! Good thing that was my shoulder and not my face,” the voice chided me. “It's me. Calm down, lieutenant.”

 

I sat up with a start to find the bedroom door broken and four men standing in my room with their zanpaku to's unsheathed. My Captain was shaking me awake with one hand while the other rubbed the shoulder I had punched. The other three men were scanning the room.

 

“What the hell is going on? We were sleeping and then you started screaming like a banshee,” Shunsui, his voice tinged with anger, asked as he checked the bathroom.

 

“Aizen. He was pretending to be Zaraki and was raping me again. He told me Zaraki was dead,” I said, shuddering in fear as the words juddered out of my mouth, so disturbed by the dream that I couldn't hide my fears, or prevent the tears streaming down my face.

 

Shunsui immediately came and hugged me close. “Nightmares. There was no one here. We had to break the door to get inside. Oh, Ran, poor, Ran. You're still not over it.”

 

“I assume that means you haven't lost your memory today. That's one thing I don't have to think about, but when I came into the room I could have sworn I saw a shadowy figure bent over you.” Toshiro sounded grave. “It vanished as soon as we came into the room.”

 

Ikkaku and Yumichika checked the rest of the room, while my Captain opened the window and stared out of it. I saw the sun was rising, the sky bathed in the colour that tinged the clouds but I shivered at the chill of the morning air. Looking down I saw I was clad in Zaraki's shirt which was fastened. In spite of being embraced, I hugged the clothing tightly against me, wishing I could feel his arms around me. It was nice that Shunsui was hugging me, but he wasn't Zaraki.

 

The night in 4th Division had sent me dreams that might have been as bad as the one I had just experienced, but Zaraki had soothed me each time one of the dreams had started finishing them quickly so they didn't take over. The aftermath of the nightmare strengthened my resolve to join him. Being apart from him any longer could not be borne.

 

“I can't see anything to show that anyone was here,” Ikkaku said. He still seemed unable to look at me.

 

“It was a nightmare. You've heard the rumours about what happened between that bastard Aizen and Ran,” Shunsui explained to Ikkaku and Yumichika.

 

I was devastated to see them nod in acknowledgement but knew it was too late to change anything. I'd actually admitted the truth to everyone in the room and from his comments I guessed that Shunsui had known longer than the last few days. It was possible he had guessed, or someone had told him. People would forget in time, maybe I would too, but the recent events had recalled the dreams I'd had of Aizen after the rape.

 

“Seeing you're awake, and after hearing those screams I don't think I'll go back to sleep, we should go and see Hanatoro,” my Captain said decisively. Thinking about it, I knew that the walk would help exorcise the last vestiges of my nightmare.

 

“I think I'll go and try to catch up on my sleep. It's not easy sharing two sleeping mats amongst four people, nor was it very comfortable. Get some more mats, or something for next time.” Shunsui said.

 

“But you didn't have to stay overnight. I don't plan to have people sleeping over every night,” I protested, wondering why both my Captain and Shunsui were still there.

 

“Either Yumichika or I have to sleep in these quarters until our Captain returns. We may as well be comfortable,” Ikkaku said, letting his practical nature show.

 

“We were drinking, drowning our sorrows and talking, you know how it is. I had no reason to go home, fearing what I might find in my bed and Toshiro here drank too much. You snore when you've been drinking,” Shunsui teased my captain who flushed at the observation.

 

Yumichika sighed as he observed the broken door. “I can see we'll have to do some work today. The cleaning staff didn't come yesterday and I'll find out why today. We need the door repaired and we'll make the other room into a temporary bedroom. It's a good thing there's another bathroom, but then my captain does like to keep clean. He was talking about installing a proper bath in the other bathroom.”

 

That last comment made my heart hitch in my chest. I was so pleased he hadn't done so before this or I would never have interrupted him.

 

“I have a few ideas about some changes I would like to make,” I admitted thinking about my reaction to the kitchen, “But I have to think about them. Now could you please leave the room? I need to dress.”

 

Very quickly the room emptied and I washed and changed in the bathroom, making sure the door was closed. The day stretched endlessly in front of me and brushing my hair I felt a touch of despair, more than a touch. Zaraki had left the previous day and already I was feeling a lack of steadiness resulting from his absence.

 

I left the bedroom and made my way to the kitchen where I could hear voices conversing.

 

“Breakfast, Ran,” Shunsui said as I entered the kitchen.

 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked the four men who were in my kitchen.

 

“Because you've had a hard time of it,” Shunsui said.

 

“Our Captain insisted,” Ikkaku began, leaning on the bench, his eyes sincere.

 

`And you're our friend,” Yumichika finished. He grinned at me, obviously remembering a few of our discussions in the human world when I tried to get information about Zaraki. Both had managed to get me to buy them many drinks and other items in exchange for anything they would tell me.

 

“I missed you,” Toshiro said.

 

I was touched and after we finished breakfast, I left with my Captain. Ikkaku and Yumichika were removing the broken door while Shunsui wandered off, yawning and scratching his chin.

 

“I'll visit Momo while I'm at 4th Division,” I suggested to my Captain. It seemed the most sensible plan and in my heart I hoped she had come to her senses. Toshiro found her erratic behaviour upsetting, as did I.

 

“This time I think it would be best if we visited her separately. I would like to talk to Iemura and Hanatoro about a few things I've noticed,” Toshiro looked very solemn.

 

I nodded in response as we entered the main complex of 4th Division and seeing Iemura, I immediately approached him so he could perform the tests Retsu required. As he worked, I briefly explained about the dreams I was having and wondered aloud if there was anything I could do. I saw his expression change.

 

“Dreams. You've given me something to think about,” he said. “Did you wish to visit Lieutenant Hinamori? I was talking to her earlier and it appears that knowing she is carrying Captain Aizen's child has caused her to have a breakthrough. You'll find a very different patient to the one you saw earlier. She's very popular; a number of people from different Divisions visited her yesterday and some this morning. If you do see her, try to help her remain calm. It took some time for both Hanatoro and I to quiet her down yesterday after your visit. She does recall that you are married and that she is pregnant. It's a relief for all of us that she is finally recovering.” He finished the tests and told me I could leave as there was nothing unusual, just a slight fluctuation in my blood count which he assured me was unimportant.

 

The news made me feel better. Momo was recovering and that was good. I did not suppress the smile on my face as I entered her room. Even though it was early she was keeling on the floor, facing the doorway. Her eyes flashed as I entered the room and I wondered why, but her lips smiled at me.

 

“So nice of you to visit me, Ran. I thought you'd be too busy with your husband, oh, but that's right, he's not here at the moment,” her voice was husky and looking at her face I noticed her eyes were puffy and red.

 

I felt a rush of compassion; she'd been crying. I answered her gently, “Of course I'll visit you, Momo. We're friends. I've been worried about you,” I told her honestly. The guilty knowledge that I had ignored her since I'd been with Zaraki assailed me. “Please, forgive me for not visiting very often.”

 

She dismissed my apology. “Sit down, Ran, close to me. We have so much to discuss. I want to hear what's been happening in your life.”

 

Automatically I sat opposite, pleased to see her almost back to normal. It would be nice to have a chance to catch up, find out how she felt about the pregnancy and if she planned to go ahead with it. “Nothing much, aside from getting married,” I told her. “What about you?”

 

“Nothing much has occurred since yesterday. Let's talk about some gossip I heard? Do you want to talk about the weather, Renji's engagement or compare notes about fucking Captain Aizen; my Captain Aizen? How could you do it?” Her face twisted with fury but her hands were lying flat on her knees, the wide sleeves of her robe almost covering them completely. I wondered why her hands seemed relaxed while she was consumed by anger.

 

I felt the air gush out of me. Momo knew, someone had told her and she was angry. “He raped me.” Keep it simple. Iemura and Hanatoro would not be happy I had upset their patient so quickly.

 

“Rape? Who could rape you? I've heard the stories but I know it was your idea. You made up your mind to get another captain after your one true love dumped you and chose my Captain to spite me. You probably begged him, all the time knowing I loved him and that, given time, he would love me,” every word made me flinch. This was seriously distorted and I was becoming a little wary of her vehemence.

 

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you Momo. It was something I didn't want to admit to anyone,” I tried to explain. Apologising about being raped did not seem normal, but I wanted to calm her down.

 

Momo continued, obviously not listening to me. “You must have kept working at it and eventually you got another Captain. Good choice there, by the way. Only you would be desperate enough to marry that brute. Then your lover abducted you and your `husband' rescued you in the nick of time. I find that very hard to believe and so very convenient. You were probably welcoming both Aizen and Gin, and who knows how many others, into your disgusting body while you were in Las Noches. I am the one who belongs with my Captain. I am the one Captain Aizen loves and he will keep me close, protecting me, cherishing me. I will be his bride.” She quickly rose to her feet still talking, bending close to me, her face inches from mine. “Akon was here. He explained everything because his Captain told him that I would only hear the lies. He thinks it is important I know the truth,” she said as she stabbed at me with a small knife I had not seen concealed in her hand.

 

Momo may not have been the best fighter, but she attacked with amazing speed. I scrambled to my feet, raising my arm to deflect the blow from my chest and the sting of the knife as it cut my flesh dwindled to nothing as her other hand quickly stabbed at me with a second, larger knife. I looked down disbelievingly to see the knife sticking out of my chest. It remained there only for a second before I grasped the hilt, ripping it free of my body, only then noticing Momo was preparing to stab me again with the smaller knife. My brain seemed to be working strangely. I could react to her moves but it only dawned on me that that she'd stabbed me after I was preparing to dodge her next attack.

 

Abruptly my assailant was grabbed from behind and I glimpsed Toshiro holding his raging, struggling friend as she screamed, the knife flashing in her hands as she twisted in his grasp. “Let me kill her. The blade is poisoned and she will die, she will die.”

 

“Quick, Iemura, Hanatoro. Momo's stabbed Matsumoto,” my Captain yelled loudly and I heard the thud of running feet approaching. He uttered a binding spell to restrain Momo, but she continued to fight against him.

 

People rushed into the room. Pressing my hands against my chest, the pain beating at me in waves, my legs refused to support me. “Not again,” the words crossed my mind as I slumped to the floor, the blood spilling out between my fingers. This day was not starting well.