Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Different Circumstances ❯ The Duty ( Chapter 38 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine, except for Arai and a few other random OC's invented to move the plot along.

The Duty

Zaraki gave me a relentless stare. "You interfered."

It was impossible for me to deny that I had. Even though I could argue the case, would he be prepared to listen to my explanation? His intentions might have been good, in fact I knew they were, but the way her would execute them might have hurt Rukia badly.

Then it struck me. I was trying to protect Rukia from Renji, but I should also be trying to help my long time friend. He needed someone who would understand what he was going through, but then I recalled his words and reactions. If I went near him now, it might only remind him and hurt him further. It would be likely that all women were the enemy. Nel was not a woman, only a child and even in that form she seemed to exert some kind of authority over him.

But all this was to think about later. In the present I had to face my husband and his anger at my intervention. I wanted to take him aside, but knew he would prove obstinate. While the people in the room pretended disinterest, they were listening avidly. Who could blame them? Events were moving fast and all these romantic entanglements were becoming confusing and interfering with morale. At least the 12th Division Captain was not there to gloat.

I stared my husband down. "You don't know everything. I need to talk to you. In private."

For a moment his eyes lit up and I wondered if he thought I was asking him for sex. While the idea appealed, there were serious matters to take care of before the pleasure. If he was so eager that Renji should know the identity of Rukia's lover, then he should tell him.

Instead of answering his look I led the way to the door. It dawned on me that it was becoming a habit to leave this room to either discuss an important and delicate manner, or to deal with my husband. This time it would be both that needed to be done and I wondered if there were events that had shaped this situation. I hadn't seen him in quite this mood before. He was annoyed with me over my actions, but I didn't think he would bite me or fight me. The chances were he's wish to argue with me, which I hated because it made me wonder what we were arguing about. The basis for the argument might seem reasonable, but there were always undercurrents that swirled through the misunderstandings making it harder to find the way past the pitfalls and thread the way to the end. I might think the fight was based on one reason only to find layers wrapped around the anger.

At least Zaraki fought me honestly. He didn't make me twist around, flailing to find a way to make it end. The blame was not always mine and while he might not apologise, he didn't expect me to abase myself when I was wrong. Maybe not wrong, but the times when I didn't have all the facts. This time I knew I had acted for the best.

Zaraki would be blunt and fast and while the impact of the news would be hard, the delivery would not allow for any expectations of sympathy. The guilt that currently coursed through Rukia's veins would make the situation as bad as it could be before she even opened her mouth. It was best to keep Rukia and Renji as far apart as possible and if she stood guard with me, there was a space apart. I considered suggesting that they were rostered on alternate watches, or slept while the other was awake and not patrolling the perimeter. If it were feasible, the return of one of them to the Seireitei might diffuse the situation, but with the communications blackout it couldn't be done. Keeping them apart as much as possible was the best solution.

Once in the hallway he took me by the arm and turned me to face him. "Woman, I give you more freedom than any other person, but you are getting close to irritating me." A fierce frown creased his forehead while his eyes did not contain their usual expression.

Even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, I smiled up at him. His anger was better met with humour than answering rage, and at this point I had enough control and impetus to make this easy for both of us. I watched the frown ease a little and the hard look in his eyes gradually faded.

"Beloved husband, I don't intent to irritate you. There are some confidences Rukia has shared with me which change the situation," gentling my voice, I wrapped my arms around him. I had been away from him for too long and didn't want any further problems to surface and estrange us. I longed for his warmth, strength and understanding and to watch his mouth frame my name or call me 'beloved'.

At least he didn't pull away, yet he didn't return my embrace. Once again it seemed I'd made the wrong choice. His disappointment hurt me, but was it possible for me to act differently? If we never forgave anyone their mistakes could we expect to be forgiven?

Once again all the beliefs I'd held about love were being questioned. Love didn't excuse me or protect me. Saying sorry was part of it, to acknowledge that I regretted my actions. In this case the only regret I had was I had estranged my husband, not my attempt to help Rukia. Zaraki might rarely say he was sorry, but he showed it in other ways.

"If you feel that I didn't listen to you, I'm sorry. While you're the centre of my world, you're not the only person in it," was my feeble attempt to explain things.

"A good wife only has one person in her world," Zaraki said.

It was impossible to believe he'd said that. Was he that selfish? If so, I'd made a mistake in my choice of partner.

I snuck a look in his face and while his mouth remained set I noticed a small spark of humour in his eyes. Carefully I chose my words. "Doesn't that apply to a good husband also?" I murmured demurely, while glancing at him under my eyelashes.

I noticed one side of his mouth turn up slightly, but he quickly controlled the impulse, while his eyes displayed even more amusement. "A man has other concerns," was his steady reply.

There could be no doubt he was being difficult on purpose. An overwhelming urge to poke him overcame me, but I resisted as it wasn't possible to predict his response. Even though I was his wife, there were boundaries with him still requiring exploration, preferably in private and not in a hallway. Instead I tightened my grip and turned my face upward parting my lips slightly as I widened my eyes. Slowly I drew my tongue along my lower lip, deliberately. He wasn't really fighting fair this time, so neither would I.

There was no hiding his reaction to my provocation.

"Other concerns?" I questioned softly.

Finally he smiled. "Matsumoto, you anger me and then make me want to press you against the wall and take you hard."

My face mirrored his smile. "Let me explain everything, please beloved Zaraki. We don't have much time before we have to stand guard, but after that, we might have some private time."

Minutes passed as his face remained with the same smile, but his eyes seemed to be calculating his answer. His anger at Rukia was predictable, yet she was not entirely to blame. The set of events leading to that problem were complicated and unexpected. Smiling at the thought it became evident to me the statement could apply to my own situation. Simply ignoring a directive from my Captain and following my own whims had led to marriage with a man who I had never expected to like, but now loved.

"Tell me."

The uncertainty in his eyes was not present in his voice. As calmly and clearly as I could I spoke of my conversation with Rukia, concealing the matters that were not relevant or too revealing. Zaraki didn't interrupt while I spoke, only nodding occasionally. His mouth turned down as he gradually seemed to acknowledge our contribution to the painful episode, but I knew he would put it behind him, not wishing to linger on the past, but try to make the present easier to handle.

"She wants me to tell him. Yeah, I can understand that. I'll do it alone and do it now," was his decision. "I'll take Retsu with me in case he needs to be knocked out again."

Hope rose slightly. "You will?"

He raised an eyebrow and then bent down and kissed me greedily. "When you look at me like that I'd be prepared to tell Kuchiki he's a dick."

"You'd do that anyway," I laughed, pleased he was taking this so well.

"The man has to learn the truth sometime," was his answer. "No time for a quick fuck. You better be prepared for a long session in bed or against a wall once we're not patrolling the bloody corridors."

I didn't answer, just looked at him, the promise plain in my eyes. Hand in hand we returned to the room where Zaraki, tried unsuccessfully, to whisper to Retsu. The whispering didn't work and every word he spoke was clear to each person in the room.

"I'm going to sort out Abarai and I want you with me. Okay?"

Retsu nodded and gave some quiet instructions to Isane. Rukia bit her lip and stood close to me. Her brother languidly looked from me to Rukia and his eyes finally rested on the back of my husband as he left the room. "Be prepared to take your watch, Captain Zaraki," he said forcefully.

"Yeah, whatever, Kuchiki."

A dull colour rose in the 6th Division Captain's cheeks at the dismissive tone and manner.

"He'll be back, brother. You know Captain Zaraki is reliable," Rukia ventured to reassure him.

"In any matter that interests him," he amended her reply. Then he looked at her and his mouth drooped. "Sister, I.... the arrangement was....My intentions were noble."

Rukia's hands flew to her mouth and I heard a startled gasp emerge. I wondered if my mouth was gaping open also at this near admission of error.

"Dearest brother, I know they were. I...."

"Let us leave the matter there," was his quiet command and Rukia fell silent. Her expression was a mixture of frustrated love and relief. The assurance that her brother was acting purely out of care for her had moved her deeply, or so I imagined. They stared at each other until Captain Kuchiki coughed gently and moved to confer with Isane about medical supplies that needed replacing. It was easy to see if was an excuse and the interaction between the two was not smooth. The upcoming nuptials between Captain Kuchiki and Kiyone did not sit well with either of them.

"Is Captain Zaraki talking to Renji now?" the inner struggle that Rukia overcame to ask the question was evident in her voice and the slight raise in her shoulders pushing them both higher and hunched. She was turning in and trying to make herself smaller: defensive body language.

"Yes. He's not happy, but wants it to be over. Even if Renji erupts, Zaraki will manage him."

A screaming yell shuddered through the room. If there were words, they were unintelligible but a harsh yammering followed. Rukia tried to stand straight, but eventually her head began to droop. Even trying to block out the words didn't help. Impulsively I reached out and hugged Rukia, something I was nervous about doing even though I'd embraced her earlier. Until now it had seemed wrong to touch the princess of the Kuchiki clan, but now she was beleaguered by her own emotions and those around her. Captain Kuchiki was unlikely to hug her, or even touch her hand and with recent events in mind, the girl needed comfort. Again she stepped eagerly within the circle of my arms and hugged me in return.

"I never knew you'd befriend me," she said in a shaking voice. "I thought everyone in the Gotei 13 hated me because I caused Kaien's death and then this war." The words were delivered with many pauses, as if they were forced from her unwillingly.

"You didn't start the war, Rukia. You were used...."

She broke in. "I was used," and laughed discordantly. "Used by men, but I should've expected it. We use them in return. "

"Renji loved you and I think someone else does." Stopping before any incriminating facts were uttered, I glanced at her brother, trying to indicate that I meant him. Feeling her body shudder with suppressed sobs, I uttered meaningless sounds and noises to try to soothe her. Her ability to repress the sobs failed and the increasing moisture soaking into the shoulder of my uniform made me hope that the tears would help ease her pain.

The noise from outside changed from yelling to one very loud voice, that of my husband telling Renji to either shut up or fight. The noise died dramatically and trying to hear more, I strained my ears.

"Shut up and get over it, fuckwit. Have you forgotten where we are and why we're here?" The loud bellow was clear even over Rukia's sobbing.

Sudden quiet. Rukia stopped shaking and stepped away, wiping her face on her sleeve. "He's right. We're here to save Orihime and end the war."

Standing straight she walked over to her brother. "When we return home, I'm asking Yumichika to marry me. You may disown me, if you will, for that is your right."

Captain Kuchiki shot a quick glance at me and in a cool and distant voice replied, "We will talk of this later."

The small shrug was not lost on me. "There's nothing to talk about. I love you, brother, but it is my life and my decision."

A tiny flicker of the eye betrayed the Captain's disquiet. Even that little movement indicated there would be further private discussions between brother and sister and Rukia's victory might not be easily won.

Further conversation was forestalled as my husband stormed into the room slowly followed by Retsu. Her face was calm, but her mouth quirked slightly as if she were having difficulty preventing a smile. It was odd that she was expressing any amusement, but perhaps watching Renji be subdued had ultimately been amusing.

"Right, Abarai's been told. He's not happy, in fact he's fracking furious, but too bad. Rukia, if you fucking do something this stupid again, I'm not helping. Work out your own love life." My husband swept me into his arms and kissed me soundly after relaying his thoughts. "And you, wife, stop trying to solve other people's problems. They're other people's, not yours."

I kissed him back and then said, as calmly as was possible with the blood thundering through my veins, "If I can help, I'll try."

"Which causes your captain many needless worries," Captain Kuchiki spoke quietly.

"Keep out of this, Kuchiki. She's my wife and I'll tell her when she's wrong," Zaraki shot back. "Now, we have to go and relieve the guys standing duty. Come on. Let's go before you start solving someone else's love problems," he said to me with a touch of reluctant indulgence.

"I'll show you where we have to go." Rukia was once more calm and it was difficult to see any evidence of her earlier tears and despair. It made me wish I could learn the secret of recovering so quickly and then I wondered if it was a subject she's been taught in her grooming to become worthy of belonging to the nobility.

"I'll see you soon, Matsumoto. Don't get abducted, don't die and don't fuck anybody else and most of all, don't fucking forget me," my husband said before kissing me once more. Abruptly he released his grip, leaving me breathless and dizzy with desire, while he strode out of the room, fast.

I thought I heard a snort of laughter from within the room, but didn't bother to check who had found amusement in my husband's parting words. They were like a balm to me, a reminder of his love and care, even though they might not sound like it

It didn't worry me he'd left so swiftly. it was easy to guess that if he'd lingered we'd end up making love wherever we could rather than stand guard and Rukia might have found the situation embarrassing. So would I.

Bowing slightly to the Captains remaining in the room, I followed Rukia.

"Is he always like that?"

Rukia's curious words made me smile. "He says something along those lines to me whenever we're parting," was my only reply.

A strange noise caught my attention and on looking at my companion I witnessed her hand over her mouth and heard some strangled sounds. "You might find it amusing," was my measured response, "but what did you expect him to say? How much he loves me?"

The shaking of her head indicated she didn't expect anything so normal. "It's exactly the sort of thing I'd imagine Captain Zaraki would say."

"It is exactly the sort of thing Captain Zaraki does say," I returned with a grin. All the same I wish he hadn't said it in the presence of others. They were private words weighted with much sentiment and meaning that wasn't apparent to anyone else. Then it struck me I hadn't had a chance to tell him my response as he'd left so quickly.

I could see the broad back of Chad as we approached and Yachiru seemed to be perched on his shoulder, chattering to him, her face partially turned toward us.

"Matsomummy," Yachiru called, waving a hand at us. "Why are you here? And why is Princess Rukia here?"

Chad turned and gave us a lazy smile. "They've come to take watch," he said easily. "I expected Ichigo, but he obviously has other worries."

Rukia flushed and while I knew the boy had not meant anything, it reminded me how easy it was to remind the girl of the unpleasant scenes from earlier. "He's sleeping," she said, looking at the floor.

"Where's my Captain?" Yachiru broke in, obviously trying to change the subject.

Pleased to assist, I explained that he too was taking watch, but at the other end of the claimed area.

A devilish look crossed her face and she turned to Rukia and giggle before saying, "Are you making certain Matsomummy stays here and doesn't wander off to talk with her husband?"

The quick look of shock on the woman's face indicated she hadn't thought of that. "No. I needed to... I wanted to talk to Ran," was her muttered response.

Again it seemed that the words reminded Rukia of things she'd prefer to forget.

"Why don't you keep Zaraki company?" I suggested to Yachiru. It would make them both happy and help to pass the time.

"I will go back to sleep," Chad said. "I do not believe your husband will welcome my company as much as Yachiru's."

"She wasn't talking to you, silly," Yachiru giggled and adopted her little girl character as she swatted at him. "You carry me to Ken-sama and then you can go and sleep."

"It's been quiet. No movement at all. Has the 12th Division Captain made any progress with installing surveillance equipment?"

This was a fact I hadn't heard previously but clearly few of the people with whom I'd spoken had faith in any suggestions made by that man. The reason I'd suggested for coming here was good, but apparently the man's actions and general demeanour made it difficult to trust his loyalty.

"No." Rukia's voice was flat. The one word conveyed her distrust and disrespect for the Captain and I saw Chad grimace slightly.

"Ishida doesn't like him or trust him, but he likes Nemu," Chad offered as if uncertain what to say.

Yachiru bounced on his shoulder. "I like Nemu too. She needs a backbone, but for an invertebrate she has some good ideas."

A gasp of laughter burst from Rukia, and once she'd started she couldn't stop. All the recent experiences were enough to stretch anyone's strength and I worried whether she was on the verge of hysteria. Bending from the waist she continued to laugh and Yachiru joined in.

"It wasn't that funny," Chad ventured.

Yachiru stopped laughing and Rukia gradually gained control, mopping the tears from her eyes once more. They may have started as tears of laughter, but threatened to turn into tears of sorrow sometime soon.

"Come on small giant," Yachiru said. "I want to sit on Ken-sama's shoulder and you can sing to me while you walk."

Rukia watched them leave. "She hated you once. When she found out you married her Captain... There's many rumours about what happened."

I closed my eyes and nodded. Yachiru's reaction was natural considering her close relationship with Zaraki and in my heart it wasn't possible to blame her. There was nothing I could say.

"Now she calls you Matsomummy? Either she's very quick to forgive or..."

"We both love Zaraki. We both want his happiness above anything else and if she was out of his life he would be miserable." I said the words quietly but the meaning throbbed through them. "Yachiru is mature, but prefers to act younger in response to the way she's normally treated."

The look of disbelief on Rukia's face made me smile. It was easier to believe what was commonly thought than to make her own deductions, but it wasn't possible to judge her too harshly. I too had accepted the easy version of the 'truth' and was forced to change my mind once I encountered the reality.

It was easy to see she was thinking hard and finally she met my glance and nodded slowly. "She looks so young, but so does your captain."

Quickly I rejoined, "Who hates being treated like a child. He is a Captain because of his abilities, it is true, but Captain Yamamoto would have refused to promote him if he didn't believe he was capable of taking the role."

Too often Toshiro's face set showed his combined frustration and disappointment of the way others dismissed his aptitude because of his youth. If I tried to provide assurance he'd flick his hand, dismissing my words. It was normally at that time I'd embrace him for two main reasons: to provide comfort and to focus his attention on an immediate problem. As he struggled for freedom from my arms, all the while speaking harsh words of reproof, he would refocus and then demand I assist with paperwork or some other task I usually avoided.

The other reason I embraced him was one I acknowledged rarely. The way he squirmed and blushed amused but also endeared him to me. It was obvious he was unused to being in close proximity to another person and was uncertain how to respond. He wanted love and affection, but was unsure of how to react.

I briefly remembered how he returned my hug after Zaraki's departure and recognised that his relationship with Captain Fong, a woman whose pride and determination matched his own, had caused changes within him I had never expected.

A deep sigh drew my attention back to Rukia. "You're right. When we went to help Ichigo he seemed the most mature member of the group." She gave me a significant look and I felt heat rise in my cheeks.

"I was kidding," which was true, "and I was trying to work out how I felt. No, I was trying to ignore how I felt," I amended.

"And I was only the finding out how I felt," Rukia said softly.

"It's taken you this long to admit it."

The silence that followed made me recall that there were times it was better to think things through before saying them. I opened my mouth, preparing an apology when Rukia spoke.

"Loving Yumichika was too easy. He's handsome, charming and a member of the Thug Division," she gulped slightly. "Sorry."

Her guilty look made me laugh. How could I blame her for stating what many others had said before? "Yumichika is not a thug."

"No, he isn't."

Watching the empty passage wasn't very inspiring. Having company made the duty more pleasant and passed the time faster. We continued to talk, sharing confidences and hopes for the future. The longer we conversed, the more I began to appreciate Rukia's level head and sharp humour. Laughing at one of her pithy observations I failed to hear the person behind me and only realised how flawed my observation skills were when I felt the sharp sting of a needle in my back, seconds before I fell into darkness.

A.N.

Recently I've been forced to listen to Korean bands. The next person who makes the attempt will feel pain.

Soundtrack

'Help Me To Believe' Moby

'Sorry, Sorry' Super Junior

"Abracadabra' Brown Eyed Girls

'One Way or Another' Blondie (This will also feature on the next soundtrack).

Review. Reviews sometimes amuse.